DATING ADVICE Archives - Page 13 of 16

What Does The Future Hold for Valentine’s Day?

February 7, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

It’s February, and I know the drill: candy aisles filled with heart-shaped boxes, jewelry ads bombarding my web feeds with Valentine’s Day.

For what initially started as a brutal Roman holiday, Valentine’s Day has become a capitalist wet dream. According to Hallmark, over 151 million cards are sold annually. Which is funny to me, since I’ve bought Valentines (think the pack of 32 that come with stickers and candy sometimes) but never an actual card.

I’ve always been single for V-Day. I’m in good company; as of 2014, Gallup says that 60% of people ages 18-29 have never been married. Another survey says that 58% of millenials view V-Day as overrated.

With student loan debt through the roof, and plenty of millenials living paycheck to paycheck, lots of us don’t have the means to splurge on gifts. So, how will a holiday that thrives on compulsory gift giving and flower buying bode for a decidedly anti-capitalist generation? Well, I have some ideas. Picture this: it’s 2118 and Valentine’s Day means…

Including lovers of all varieties (not just romantic ones)

The Spice Girls said it best: “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Except in this case, lovers can take a backseat.

Over the past few years, self-care has become a buzzword, a movement, and a market all at once. So yes, self-love, but this also means not placing as much importance in romantic relationships, and whether or not you’re a part of one.

With phenomena like “Galentine’s Day” taking off, millenials are over this couples-only world. More adult are single folks. More women are growing comfortable in living perfectly stable, fulfilled lives without a romantic partner. I’ve always liked the idea of a Valentine’s Day that uplifts all the people we love, not just the ones we’re romantically intimate with.

In 2118, Marketers realize that unabashed singles are an untapped market. If you try to sell me something on a couple’s pretense, I’m not interested. But in the name of self-care? Take my money, why don’t you!

Advertisers Switch Up Their Tactics

Not too many people genuinely enjoy ads, but I prefer to avoid them altogether. I hit the “skip ad” button on YouTube so quickly. If that’s not an option, I mute them. The case is even more extreme for younger millennials; Generation Z is the most difficult audience to market to yet.

Not only are younger generations less tolerant of commercials, but also the most sexually varied generation. This is a problem when V-Day largely caters to straight couples.

We are the most queer generation ever. We also have an awareness of different intersections of identity (racial, ethnic, sexual) that’s unprecedented. It’s simply not realistic for all marketing toward us to be a white man and a white woman kissing. Evolve or die, as they say, and I imagine V-Day evolving.

Since Millennials value authenticity above else, I picture more folks getting their Valentine’s paraphernalia from places like Depop and Etsy, rather than big box stores. Or, V-Day cards in the Hallmark aisle with a bunch of different categories (women loving men, women loving women, men loving men, nonbinary, asexual). Instead of e-cards, think meme cards.

Overall, I imagine a more underground V-Day celebration. Which brings me to…

Renegade Holidays Will Pop Up

We’ve seen this happening with the reclaiming of Columbus Day as Indigenous People’s day. For we non-Christmas celebrating folk, there’s Festivus. As a generation that’s already combating gender and sexuality norms, and all other norms, it would make sense for many millennials to flat out reject V-Day with our own alternative holiday.

We already have that in Galentine’s Day. Some places are ahead of the curve: in Finland, February 14 is National Friendship Day.

In 2118, I forecast celebrations like “Asexual Awareness Day”, “International Vibrator Day” or “International Singles Day,” many of which, incidentally, already exist, taking over. Because commercialism is boring and the internet is a wildly imaginative place.

I’m no psychic, so I may be off target. What I do know is that the existing Valentine’s Day model (dates, heart-shaped chocolates, nice jewelry) isn’t very old at all. Millennials aren’t your mother’s generation. And getting a stale box of Russell Stover’s chocolates is something I can do for myself, thank you.

V-Day 2118 may still have the big box store vestiges of white, pink and red. But before long, the holiday will largely be in the hands of the independent retailers. No matter what V-day looks like in future, some things won’t change. There will always be folks who, like me, celebrate the holiday on their own accord by eating heart-shaped pizza and watching raunchy comedies.

Things to Do on Valentine’s Day If You’re Staying Inside Alone

February 7, 2018January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Single on Valentine’s Day? It can be a challenging day for many people, but it absolutely doesn’t have to be!

Watching others with their stuffed animals, balloons, chocolates, and lovers can be soul crushing. Don’t let yourself go there, because, more than anything, you are worth loving.

So, here are some things you can do for yourself all day and away from the traditional hearts and flowers. After all, it’s actually not a bad idea! There are alternative things to do to show yourself how you’re loved.

1. Declutter

Have you been meaning clear up you’re living space? Do you have five of the same shoes in different colors? Do you need them all? Do you want them all? What about that shirt you had since 7^th grade? Sure, it fits, but you’re 30 now so maybe you don’t need it. Besides, it’ll give you an excuse to go buy yourself something new!

What better day to get rid of things you don’t need than on Valentine’s Day. To declutter is a great way to start fresh. You will feel immensely productive; it will probably take you the whole day, and if you’re feeling a bit of the blues you might even find it easier to throw things away.

Time to forget sentimental ties to things that don’t matter and move forward

2. Cook

If you’re like me you only eat processed foods that don’t require anything other than microwave.

On this Valentine’s Day try cooking a meal that takes several hours. It’s not Thanksgiving, but why not put a Turkey in the oven? Or prepare meals for everyday of the week. That way you won’t have to eat out, buy more food, or even go outside at all for 7 days!

Even better if you wanted to try veganism, but never had the time, prep a week of vegan meals for you for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. No better time to really put your energy into making food you don’t normally eat.

3. Work out

Going to the gym can be a challenge. It takes drive. But, YouTube exists, so how about spending Valentine’s Day showing your body how much you love it by getting fit.

You can start the day with an hour of yoga. Then you continue with zumba. Then learn a few new dance routines. Beyonce’s “Formation?” Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi?” Michael Jackson’s “Thriller?” How about all of the above?

Of course, consider showering and eating in between.

3. Write

Are you a writer who likes to avoid writing? Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to draft your half hour/hour pilot you’ve been dreaming up. Or your 2-hour length feature script. Maybe you’ve never ever written and you want to try writing. Reddit has a few ideas with an entire subreddit dedicated to writing prompts.

If you’re a booklover, go start your novel! Valentine’s Day is a great day to begin a new career path.

4. Sleep

If you are someone who doesn’t get enough sleep let Valentine’s Day be the day you actually relax. Stay in bed. Close your eyes. Meditate. Avoid social media. Avoid all screens. Avoid all human contact. Just spend the day drifting in and out of your dreams. You deserve some rest.

I stayed in bed for most of today and I would like to have done it longer, but I had to write this! Catch up on all your sleep. You’ll be ready to take on the day that follows!

5. Watch every single movie nominated for an Oscar that is out on DVD, streaming or blueray.

Are you one of those people who hates the Oscars because they don’t nominate movies that you’ve seen? Well, try watching those nominated movies!

Or, if you’re the type of person that always tries to watch all of them, but haven’t had the time, Valentine’s Day is 24 hours long. You’ll probably be up for 12 of those hours which are enough to at least watch up to 6 movies. Try watching a foreign film nominee while you’re at it.

6. Declare your love

This is the most radical idea on this list.

On Valentine’s Day, I am asking you, a single person, to tell the person you like that you like them. Not just so you’re not single, but so you can start a new path and a new adventure.

Maybe you’re single because you don’t tell people how you feel. Or you close yourself off. If there is someone you have had your eye on and they’re single too, go tell them!

You might get utterly rejected but you did it and lived your true authentic self! Then you can move on to decluttering, working out, cooking, and sleeping.

But, maybe the person you have feelings for is scared to tell you how they feel about you too. If you feel the same way about one another then you don’t have to spend Valentine’s Day alone and the holiday can end up being the start of something new.

Let us strive for more great days!

Want other ideas for Valentine’s Day singles? Check out How to Annoy People in Love on Valentine’s Day: Top 10 List and get ready for one heck of a hilarious adventure!

The Differing Valentine’s Day Plans from Seven Couples Around the U.S.

February 10, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Valentine’s Day is on a Wednesday this year. What are you doing for the big day?

Ah, Valentine’s Day. That simultaneously loved and hated holiday that marks the fact that winter will be finally be ending in just a few short weeks.

If you’re wondering how others will be spending the holiday commemorating all things romance, here are just a few ways your fellow women will be celebrating the big V-Day. I always loved Valentine’s Day because it was a day I got to tell my friends and family how much I loved them without them looking at me like I was crazy. Whether I was single or taken, I always managed to have a fun and loving day.

While my plans were never anything all that special, I wanted to know what fellow females were up to on this special day.

Here are some of the plans ladies are doing this Valentine’s Day. I bet you can relate to many of them!

“Our first valentines Rob and I decided we were going to embrace the holiday for all its cheesiness! We were long distance at that point so we wanted to go all out. I flew to Michigan and we made a decision to find the most ridiculous but cheap candy or toy we could find in the store and find the most over-the-top card.

“On top of that we decided to pick a restaurant we would never normally go to so went to hibachi. Every year since then we have kept the tradition and the cards keep getting better and cheesier. We also almost know the hibachi routines by heart. I have bought him everything from a furry heart with beef jerky, funny game controller and this year a candy fishing tackle box!” – Dillon, VA

“I don’t have any official Valentine’s Day plans on the books, but if I were a betting woman my money would be on getting wine drunk on my couch with some girlfriends while having a movie (and food) binge.” – Jessica, VA

“It’s a Wednesday so it is going to be spent stabbing each other at fencing club. Real romantic. Haha.” – Katelyn, MD

“Haha I’m working 2 p.m. ‘til midnight on Valentine’s Day this year so I’m afraid my answer isn’t very exciting.” – Liz, D.C.

“Every year he’s ‘surprised’ me with a gift exchange and then we do dinner and the comedy club. We love laughing for Valentine’s Day.” – Christie, PA

“I have grad school that night, so I’ll be in class until 8ish. Then, I’ll go home and review my lesson plan for the next day and probably go to bed. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a pink sweet and I may make Valentines for my students.” – Erin, D.C.

“I doubt we’ll do much. My grandpa used to send me flowers every year whether I was in a relationship or not. It was something that always made my day, made me smile, and made me feel so loved and appreciated. As I slowly watch him decline, I know he won’t remember to send me anything. It’ll be a hard day thinking about the one person in my life who always loved me no matter what and who never once failed me. I will, however, forget about the fact that he’s not supposed to have sugar and send him chocolate.” — Sarah, D.C.

No matter how you choose to spend Valentine’s Day, it’s important to remember to do what’s best for you.

It’s okay to be single, it’s okay to do something sappy and romantic too, and it’s okay to remember those you love. Have fun and celebrate love. After all, that’s what the day is all about!

Let us know in the comments section below what you’ll be doing on Valentine’s Day and what it means to you.

Want to show us what #LoveIs and win big? Check out the contest we’re holding here.

What to do When You Have to Work on Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes life and responsibilities get in the way of love. For that, we’ve got some ideas for the working couple.

Since Valentine’s Day falls on a Wednesday this year, it may be hard to find time to spend with your significant other. If you work a typical nine to five job, you have a very limited amount of time in the morning and evening to do something to commemorate the holiday. Other types of shifts you may work, whether it’s retail, food service, or any other job with different hours, may make it even harder.

So how do you keep V-day special during a work day? Here are some ideas to maintain your holiday traditions.

Breakfast in bed

It might be a little cliche, but who doesn’t love waking up to the smell of pancakes in the morning? Wake up a little earlier than your S.O. on Valentine’s Day, and prepare their favorite breakfast. Give yourself time to eat together instead of rushing around like you would on any other morning. Make their special tea or coffee. Maybe get a vase put a little bouquet of flowers on the tray for a nice flourish. It’s a refreshing and lovely way to start your day.

Grab lunch at your favorite restaurant

The best dates involve food, and never fail to bring people together. If you work relatively close to each other, find your favorite restaurant in the area and meet up for a quick meal during your lunch break. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, you are still in your work clothes after all. Treating yourself to your favorite food together keeps the day a special occasion, and makes for a nice breather from a busy work day.

Send some flowers to the office

Or wherever it is that you might work. Make your partner’s coworkers envious by sending them a special delivery of roses, chocolates, or even an edible arrangement. It’s a simple and sweet reminder that you’re thinking of them amidst the stress of the workplace. A small card proclaiming your love is a nice touch as well. It keeps the spirit of the holiday alive, even when you have to be apart.

Have a movie night

After a long, tiring day at work, it’s likely that you and your partner won’t even want to go out. So keep it at home, and spend the night watching your favorite movies. It doesn’t have to be a Nicholas Sparks movie or any other stereotypical romantic flicks, but could instead be a movie that has brought you together in the past (check out my article on my partner and I’s favorite unconventional date flicks). Order some take out, watch some Netflix, and chill out for the night.

Enjoy the long weekend

Valentine’s this year may fall on a weekday, but luckily it happens to also be the same week as President’s Day. If you have this day off, plan a long weekend for you and your partner to spend together. Whether that may be taking a trip to a romantic getaway, or just staying in and binge watching a new TV show, the extra time spent with your S.O. will make up for the fact that you might not have had a chance to spend much time on the actual day.

All in all, any time spent with your partner on Valentine’s Day is time well spent. Whether you’re with them all day, or for just an hour, there are a number of possible ways to keep the holiday fun. However you may define it, Valentine’s Day is ultimately about the reasons why you love your partner, and a celebration of what brought you together.

If you’re looking for more ways to show your love, check out Valentine’s Day Is Great, But Here Are My Favorite Ways to Show Love All Year Round and How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day.

10 Valentine’s Day Activities That Won’t Require a Significant Other

February 13, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Because mushy feelings are for everybody.

So, Valentine’s Day. A day of pink and red, and couples flaunting their couple-y ness…or so it may seem when you’re very, very single. I am very, very single and consider V-Day a great opportunity to be good to yourself, along with the other lovelies in your life because romantic couples don’t have a monopoly on love (obviously).

You have just as many options for activities as couples do on February 14.

1. Go to a sex shop

I said Valentine’s Day was a great day for self loving — what better to do so than treating yourself. Cash out on that vibrator you’ve been eyeing. Or buy your first one. Or just giggle at how many genital-shaped things there are.

Either way, I encourage making a purchase; chances are it’s on sale too, since you won’t be the only one looking to get sexy on that day.

2. Eat a heart-shaped pizza all by yourself

I did this last year and it was wonderful. Pizza is already wonderful, but heart-shaped pizza is super cute and Instagram worthy. Plus there’s something about eating heart-shaped pizza that just makes you feel good. I’ll probably do this every Valentine’s Day, to be honest. At least until I have someone to make dinner plans with, because I’m not sharing pizza.

3. Volunteer

If it’s hard for you to shake off some sad feelings about a solo Valentine’s Day, you can turn that sadness into productivity! As someone who works at a volunteer run organization, I know that February 14 is a day when people bail on shifts due to evening plans. Pick up for a shift at a shelter, or food bank. Only good can come out of putting more love into the world.

4. Book a trip for one

I am, and always will be, a strong advocate of solo travel. I love going places alone. I love doing things at my own pace, eating all the chocolate I want, and just generally using the time to recharge myself. All the more reason this is a great Valentine’s Day activity if you’ve got some cash burning a hole in your pocket! Consider a few places off the beaten path. Even a brief road trip a few towns over will do.

5. Treat yourself to a hotel room

If you can’t book tickets to get away, rent yourself a hotel room, pick up some bubbly, and take an extra-long, luxurious bath. If you’re feeling extra gutsy, go to the hotel bar and get some fun drinks. Who knows, you might meet someone cute. Either way, you’re having a grand, luxurious time. Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

6. Galentine’s Day

I think “Galentine’s Day” a really cheesy name, but I’m into the concept. I love my friends. One V-Day I made plans to drink champagne and eat strawberries with one, although she bailed on me…but trust and believe, it’s happening this year.

Dress up with your friends (they don’t all have to be “gals”) and make some good food together. Or order some. It’s a sure way to end the night with a heart bursting from love.

7. Make actual valentines

Remember in elementary school when everyone just made valentines for everyone and it was sweet with no romantic pretense? I miss those simpler times.

But I love paper crafts and generally sending my friends things in the mail, so channel all your love energy into some sweet cards. Load up on lots of paper, stickers, glitter and good markers. Or you could just go store bought. Nothing says I love you like a Hello Kitty card.

8. Decorate your space

People don’t decorate nearly enough. If birthdays, New Years’, and Christmas are occasions to deck out your home, I don’t see why Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be.

For the past couple weeks I’ve been eyeing the heart-shaped mirrors, heart banners, pink streamers, and pink lights at target. Half of them are in the dollar section, too. If you’re into decorating, turn your abode into a soft oasis of pink. Why? Because you can.

9. Watch some unromantic movies

My favorite holiday movies are always the unconventional ones (think Bad Santa, the Ice Harvest, Edward Scissorhands). If you’re really one of the “I hate V-Day” crowd, watch some really uncheesy, devoid-of-tenderness movies.

Forget When Harry Met Sally. Try Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Plus it’s Oscar season, so there are way too many movies worth seeing on the big screen. Pick one that’s not super sappy and enjoy being in a couple-free room. Even if it’s not couple free, it’s too dark to tell.

10. Ball out on dinner

Many restaurants run Valentine’s Day promos. Most are of the buy-one-get-one free variety, so bring a friend along or pocket the leftovers for yourself!

While I adore eating out alone, I realize that not everyone is so comfortable being out and so obviously single. Try to pick a place that isn’t particularly romantic. Or, better idea, clear off your dining table, light some candles, break out the good china, and order some gourmet eats.

This is only a list of 10, but the possibilities go much further! If you want, dream about sharing V-Day with someone next year. Or do what I’ll do, which is enjoy a whole heart pizza to myself. Because f*ck sharing.

Want some more ideas? Check out some Valentine’s Day activities you can do if you’re hiding inside all day for the holiday or even some ideas if you want to show your community some love on V-Day.

Puns, Regicide and Snowball Fights: One Couple’s Celebration of St. Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2018January 22, 2024 by ElisaShoenbergerin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Some couples have romantic dinners or go on exotic vacations for Valentine’s Day. We took a different route.

My husband and I find something decidedly unsexy to celebrate this day in February. Even from the very beginning, we’ve found creative ways to play with the concept of the day.

Nothing says I love you like Shakespearean regicide.

Our first Valentine’s day was spent seeing A Year in Magical Thinking by Joan Didion that was her true story of her attempt to deal with the death of her husband and daughter in the same year. Sexy, no? It still remains one of the best plays I’ve ever seen.

The following year, we made a point of seeing Shakespeare’s Richard II that deals with a man child whose bad decisions end up resulting in the loss of his throne and his life. Not one of Shakespeare’s better known romantic plays. And so on and so forth.

Two times, we’ve done crisis rooms as Valentine’s day adventures. The first was part of “The Last Defenders” where we had to dress in orange jumpsuits and work with 15 other people to try to prevent a nuclear holocaust. Sadly, we failed and everyone died.

Last year, we gathered a group of friends together in order to solve a crisis room, one of those new interactive puzzle rooms where you have an hour to solve a problem. We succeeded in escaping from a runaway train car through a combination of collective problem-solving and inspiration.

Another year we were teetotalers for the Chicago Poetry Bordello, waving signs against the forbidden drink and protesting outside the venue in a snowstorm. But that’s an entirely different story.

For me, Valentine’s Day was always a little silly.

I don’t mean that the holiday is silly in itself. I have yet to shake the initial meaning of the day as a child. In grammar school, I loved Valentine’s Day since it meant punny valentines and candy. Think “I Choo-Choo Choose You” valentine from The Simpsons.

It felt like a lesser Halloween but in the middle of the winter. Sometimes, I would even hand make the valentines because it was good to make things by hand.

Even later on in my life, I still found myself drawn to the joviality of the day. I felt disconnected from the romantic overtones, the marketing that said that you were less than fully in love unless you bought them XYZ.

Even in college, I remember buying ridiculous animal valentines with punderful sayings and giving them to my friend. I even sent one in an envelope to a friend in another state.

I learned in college that not everyone felt the same way.

Everyone had a ticket on the Anti-Valentine’s Day Train. It was everyone. It didn’t matter your gender or your relationship status. I heard nothing from my friends who I sent valentines to in other states. Talking to folks in college, Valentine’s Day was perceived as this Hallmark holiday, another mark of our over consumptive society. It was a holiday to make single people feel bad. If it was noted at all, it was with a groan. And maybe a shopping spree for discount candy on the 15th.

Even my then boyfriend was vehemently opposed to it. I asked him about it and his reply was “Shouldn’t you be treating your loved one well everyday?” I had no response to that. So we didn’t do much for the day.

In graduate school, I once asked a friend to dinner on Valentine’s Day. I remembered that it was the holiday since I bought her and her boyfriend silly Valentine’s day gift. It was two of those biting sticks with dinosaur heads. The ones where you had a head on a long stick and pressed a button to open and close the mouth.

Only after dinner, did it even occur to me that perhaps they wanted to have a romantic night. (She was delighted at the gift and clearly did not have strong Valentine’s Day opinions.)

Things changed delightfully when started dating my now husband

My now husband didn’t seem to have the same strong opinions about the day. And I still enjoyed the wackiness of it.

We treated most of these special events as a bit of a lark. Two weeks before our wedding, we had a joint bachelor party playing laser tag where we were on opposite teams. It made sense given the nature of our relationship. At karaoke, we sing classic love songs like “This is Halloween” or the Clash’s “London Calling” or on very special occasions “God Save the Queen” by the Sex Pistols.

Naturally, our Valentine’s day would continue our strangeness.

This year, as we begin planning for Valentine’s Day, we’re going in a slightly new but entirely appropriate direction. We are thinking more combative…like a snowball fight. But that depends on snow. Or perhaps laser tag like our joint Bachelor’s party.

Either way, we are going to celebrate Valentine’s day in our own way.

Looking for more adventures for Valentine’s Day? Check out The Best Unconventional Date Movies For Your Valentine’s Day or look for ways you can show your community love with How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day.

Growing Up Catholic Impacted My Dating Life More Than You Might Think

February 15, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Growing up, I never gave that much thought to how dating would go being Catholic. It was always just part of my life and a huge part of who I am.

I attended Catholic elementary school and an all-girls Catholic high school. I didn’t date in high school and honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I had the freedom to explore who I was and I never once had a boy define me. I don’t remember my prom date’s name, only that he arrived with a hat and cane (which I laugh at to this day).

Moving on to college, things were a different story. I didn’t date much in college either, just briefly at the end of my senior year. Much to my surprise, I ended up becoming close to two men. They became my two closest friends and we did everything together, even touring Europe when we were 25.

Over the years I would come close to thinking about exploring a deeper relationship with both of them, but the friendship we had was too good to mess with. I think that being friends with these two men, I ended up learning about everything I missed out on, such as how to not blush at the mention of sex, what men really want in a woman, you name it.

One of the guys even gifted me a book, The Catholic Girls’ Guide to Sex as a joke for my birthday. I read it cover to cover and still own it to this day. It definitely is a source for some laughs!

The “talk” from my father came when I was leaving for college.

When I left for college, my dad told me to always remember my faith and my family. My family is incredibly close and I’ve taken the faith aspect to heart.

In fact, once when one of those male friends and myself came close to exploring a deeper relationship, I was nervous about staying up too late and missing Mass (basically church services for those who are unfamiliar) the next day. It turns out, I ended up making it with plenty of time to spare.

Post-college, I had a couple dates that ended up forging friendships. One man even invited me to his wedding in Texas—his husband and he have been happily married for years. We still text and laugh about our time together. I always believe if a relationship doesn’t work out, a friendship is always a possibility. A little “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” if you will.

All the while, I knew that I didn’t want to lose my virginity to any of these men. My reasons were a little bit romantic, as I wanted to wait for the perfect man and the perfect moment. Other reasons had to do with the way I was raised—in the Catholic church.

I almost always mention at some point or another how I am Catholic. I never, ever try and “shove my religion down people’s throats,” as I believe religion should be a personal and completely intimate choice. However, sometimes I wonder if me being religious makes some men see me as a conquest, an “oh I can get the Catholic girl to have sex with me.” I’ll admit, it is tempting.

I met a man when I was 26 who I figured out was the nephew of a famous photographer. After our first date getting drinks, he walked me to my door and I invited him in. I mixed another drink and he didn’t seem interested.

Instead, he just went right for the kill and started making out. He reached behind and unhooked my bra then started for my jeans. I immediately knew it didn’t feel right and stopped him, asking to get to know him more first. He unfortunately ghosted me soon after. It’s a great story to tell now.

But then I met the perfect person.

After another miss in the relationship department, I met a really genuinely good guy. I have been dating this wonderful man for almost six years now. He’s gone to church many times with me, for funerals and weddings and other family events.

He was raised Christian and he thinks it’s awesome I am a church usher and have become friends with two 80-somethings at my church. My boyfriend has even expressed interest in learning more about the Catholic church, which I think is really amazing. He’s respectful and kind and has taught me so much about what it means to be in a truly mature, adult relationship.

After years of misses and praying for a good match, I think I’m finally where I’m meant to be with who I’m meant to be with. I just needed a little faith in myself.

Being religious and dating doesn’t always have to be boring.

Being raised Catholic certainly didn’t mean the author led a boring dating life. From her prom date to her most recent boyfriend, author Kate Oczypok explores what life is like dating as a modern Catholic woman.

Interested in a funny take on virginity? Check out this piece on being a 30-year-old virgin.

9 Ways To Meet People Besides Scrolling Through Dating Apps

February 17, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Don’t let your phone do all the work.

Your fingers are sore from the constant swiping, your mind tired from constantly thinking of witty quips for your next dating profile. I hear you. I’ve been there — in fact, I’m there now.

The good news is that you can always take a hiatus. The better news is that you can still meet new people, sans screen.

Here are some ideas for how to meet people in real life.

Volunteer

The benefits of volunteering are limitless. I got my current full-time job through being a committed volunteer. I’ve made lots of friends volunteering. The same extends to finding a date.

While you shouldn’t volunteer just to meet a date (because gross), volunteering is a major way to expand your network. Lots of volunteer programs have mixers of volunteer appreciation nights – try going to one and seeing who catches your fancy after a few drinks.

Go to meetups

I’ve used meetup.com for poetry workshop groups and for practicing French conversations. It’s an excellent way to meet folks you’ve never met before.

Creating a profile is pretty straightforward, it’s mainly a matter of choosing what your interests are. This way, you’ll definitely meet folks you share a common line with. If nothing else,you’ll make new friends – especially if you go consistently

Partake in an artistic community

Are you a painter, writer, dancer, or musician? Or do you appreciate those art forms? When I say get involved in your town/city’s art scene, I don’t just mean going to the big museums; I mean going to open mics, local shows, small gallery openings, and community theater performances. I’ve gotten the chance to meet so many awesome creatives by simply going up to the performers later and telling them how great they were.

Most local art is reasonably priced, and because it’s so small, when you see the lead of Antigone the musical that wowed you, you can tell them in person (and slip your number if you’re feeling flirty).

Take classes

Learning is the thing I miss most about school. Luckily, there are plenty of adult learning opportunities.

Want to brush up on your college pottery? Or learn to make pots like Sam in “Ghost?” Look into a local class and meet other folks who want to expand their minds, too. You’ll always have a discussion topic – class!

Accept your friends’ party invites

Easier said than done. I am the #1 champion of calling it a night early because it’s 10:00pm on a Friday and sometimes, bed is just a nice place to be. But I’ve also forced myself to go out and ended the night with two new numbers in my phone. Go to your friends’ birthday parties, or random club meetings and expand your network. Most job opportunities (and romantic opportunities) tend to come from folks like acquaintances, or people who aren’t part of your immediate friend circle.

Eat out/go to bars alone

I know, I know – wild. More people do this than you would think. Try picking a bar that’s on the quieter side and sit at the bar, so you can at least chat up the bartender. I’ve done this before and had plenty of friendly, non-creepy conversation. Plus sitting alone makes you look confident, and confidence is way sexier than bona fide good looks. If you’re still nervous about it you can bring a good book as backup.

Join a book club

You’ve been telling yourself you want to read more for years. Just join a book club already! You can find one through a friend, or through websites like meetup. Nothing’s hotter than someone with a working brain. Ask your book club crush about their thoughts on Zadie Smith and go from there. This is much better than eyeing the book titles of strangers on the train and mentally appreciating their choices in literature – which I do a lot.

Don’t work from home all the time

While working from home can be a blessing, it’s not so great on the social side of things. You’re missing out on all the office gossip and potential for flings (which, on second thought, might be a for the best after all). Get out of your PJs and hit up your local cafe. Once you become a regular, you notice the other regulars too, including the handsome barista at the bar.

Go to the dog park

Few things are as joyous as playing with a pup in the park, while low-key scoping for potential dates. A guy with a dog obviously has a soul, so the dog park works pretty well as a vetting location!

See if you can borrow a friend’s dog for a tousle in the park. If they have a busy schedule, I doubt they’d resent their dog getting more outdoor time.

You can totally meet people without relying on a screen. It’s as simple as getting the hell out of your house. Easier said than done. But once you get going, watch your phone fill up with contacts.

If you’d like to read more like this, check out: “Behind the Swipe” with LOVE TV — The Story of 10 Tinder Dates in One Month, 7 Love Lessons I Learned from the Amazon Show “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”, and Is Your Dating Out Of This World? Here’s How to Find What Planet You Are

The Joys of a Sexless First Date Are a lot Better Than You Might Think

March 4, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

There’s nothing wrong with setting out to get laid on the first date, but there’s fun in going on a date that leads to no sex, or even not kissing.

I’ve been in a total “dating sucks” state of mind lately. Maybe it’s the winter weather that makes me want to bog down in a sea of fleece blankets, warm tea mug in hand. I’ve been apathetic, because all I can think about is how much work it is to make plans, get dressed, go somewhere, and keep up the effort even with someone who isn’t the one. I started thinking, there’s got to be more.

People who are hyper-focused on being in a relationship will approach dates with tunnel vision. The same can be said for folks who are hyper-focused on only dating for sex, too. But there’s so much more!

I had to remind myself of all the fun times I’ve had on first dates that didn’t “go anywhere.” No sex, not even a kiss, and not even a second date. What ever happened to the joy of meeting people for the sake of meeting people?

1. A sexless first date can make you see a friend in a new light or build a foundation of intimacy.

The first time I went on a date with a friend was kind of odd, which, I guess, is to be expected. I saw it coming. He’d hint at his interest with suggestive comments about my outfits, my smile, not-so-overt innuendos, etc.

But it’s fun to see the different side of someone you’ve always viewed platonically. He held open doors and looked nicer than usual and gave me puppy dog eyes a lot. The charm was turned all the way on, and I thought “okay, I can see why someone would date you.”

It was cute! We didn’t work out romantically for a number of reasons, but it’s good to remember why you’re friends with people to begin with, and it’s good to see someone turn on the charm for you.

At the same time, if your date goes horribly that can be a sign that your friendship isn’t as solid as you think it is.

2. There are no post-sex regrets.

I’m lucky to say (and it’s sad that I feel lucky in this) that I haven’t had too many sexual encounters I’ve regretted. It helps that I generally don’t have sex if I’m really intoxicated.

When you want sex you want it, and I tend to listen to my carnal desires if I don’t think they’ll have unpleasant repercussions. That being said, there have definitely been underwhelming coital encounters that left me thinking, “I could have had a V8.”

I believe that no sex is better than bad sex. At least with a sexless first date, the worst you get out of it is an hour wasted. There’s no lamenting over how you could have gone home and just pulled out your vibrator.

3. You can focus better on who you’re with.

I know what it’s like to go on a date with only the end goal of smashing in mind. You entertain the person you’re with, have amiable-enough conversation, lest they say something that turns you off completely and ruins any chance of you getting naked for them. No amount of friendly laughter and offhand jokes will hide what you want at the end of the night.

And hey, I’m not knocking this at all. If you’re being safe and smart about casual sex, get your groove on.

But what would it be like to go into a date with no expectations at all?

I heard some good advice once about dating and “meeting people”: focus on friendship first.

Think of a first date as a potential friend. Find out their interests, see if they’re fun to hang out with at a museum, or if they like 90s sitcoms, or what they do outside of their day job.

We don’t go around sleeping with our friends when we first meet them – or at least I certainly don’t. If you do, you might have some things to work on. (Don’t we all?)

The key to an enjoyable first date is the “no expectations” part. I live in a big city with so many interesting, weird, wacky and beautiful people – I wouldn’t do them (or myself) justice if I were only focused on sleeping with them, or making them my significant other.

Wow, I think I’ve actually convinced myself to go on some more dates! After all, the snow is melting, the days are getting longer, the sun is showing itself a bit more. Anything goes in Chicago though – we know it doesn’t really get nice until Memorial Day.

If you’re searching for more dating tips and tricks, join LOVE TV and work with our gurus and love experts to find the best solutions for you.

What Happens When Their Pets Become Your Pets Too

March 19, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

I fell in love with his cat before I even fell in love with him. So, what happens when their pets become yours?

I met Samson when I became friends with Chris. He was the sweetest kitty I had ever met, and he immediately took to me. In our pre-dating days when I was still sleeping in the living room, Samson would come and sleep on the arm of the couch next to me. I think Chris was a little jealous.

Now of course, Samson sleeps in the bed with both of us. He’s basically our son at this point. Chris has had him for about ten years now, but after spending days sitting at home, working on my writing with Samson curled up on my lap, I think it’s safe to say that he’s become my cat too.

It goes both ways too. If he isn’t nice your pets your even his, you know something is off. And if you’re searching for the perfect pet parent, bypass the noise and time of creating the perfect relationship, then sign up for the LOVE TV membership.

So at what point in the relationship does this tend to happen?

Obviously, you would be meeting their pets as soon as you were brought to their house for the first time. It’s like an early contender to meeting their parents, if their furbaby accepts you, then it could be a sign of a good relationship to come.

I’ve had situations where the opposite was the case.

My ex-boyfriend had a cat who HATED me, and I never understood why. I spent a lot of time with her, and I dated him for about nine months, so I found it weird that she never warmed up to me.

But just like my relationship with that cat, my relationship with him was doomed. Maybe it was coincidence, or maybe the cat was trying to warn me of bad times to come. She was a black cat, after all.

When you start to spend a lot of time at your S.O.’s house, it’s typical that the animals there would get used to your presence. They might even come to expect you to be there. And once you start being one of the ones to feed them, it’s pretty much set in stone that you’re part of the family.

In a way, it can even be as daunting as meeting their parents.

You want their mother to accept you, sure, but typically they no longer live with their parents, whereas you will see their pets every time you visit them. It can be hard to have a good time with your partner if their cat or dog keeps hissing/barking at you every time you enter a room.

It can even be disruptive to a relationship, in a more pressing way than their parents would be. After all, pets do want attention all the time, and might get jealous if their person is spending more time with a new partner rather than them.

You might have to compete for attention regardless.

The pet came first, and their human loves them in a pure, untainted way that they reserve for pets alone. They still love you too, but in a completely different way. Sometimes they might be playing with their cat or dog and devote all their attention to them in that moment. Let them know they are just as enamored with you in a way different than they do with any other humans.

Besides, why compete with a cute little animal?

Samson and I don’t really have to compete. Chris and I dote on him like nothing else. We make up songs about him, we talk for him, and we make sure he gets all the love he deserves. He’s super chill, especially for a cat, and pretty much goes with the flow with our craziness.

Samson also loves everyone, which makes it easy to transition him with new people. He’s become one of the most important things in my life, second only to my boyfriend.

Their pets can become your pets at a pretty fast rate. If you’re spending all of your time at their place, it’s safe to say that they’ll start to love you and your presence in their lives quickly. Allow them into your life they same way they will allow you into yours, and it might actually strengthen your relationship with your loved one as well.

Saying No to a Second Date: A Nice Girl’s Guide to Being Honest

March 23, 2018January 22, 2024 by Lacey McKennain DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Telling someone “no” isn’t easy for many of us. Here’s how to let them down easy.

If you’re anything like me, you have a tough time saying “no, thank you” when someone ask you on a second date. Especially when he or she was a perfectly nice guy but you just didn’t feel a spark. But life is too short for bad dates and your time is valuable.

And don’t forget, if you’re hoping to speed up your relationship success, join LOVE TV as a member today!

Don’t ghost someone

Women are often taught to be kind and accommodating. We’re told “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and it’s easier to just fade into silence.

So, I made rules for myself. If I’ve met someone casually ones for coffee of drinks, I try not to ghost them. For all they know you fell off the face of the Earth. And while telling someone “no” when they ask to meet again feels unkind, not replying at all is actually worse.

Don’t lead him or her on

I’ve agreed to several second dates when I shouldn’t have. Here are lies I have told myself: “Maybe it takes time to develop chemistry with them.” “He’s a really nice guy, maybe I’ll feel the attraction as I get to know them better.” “What if it didn’t go well because the bar was really loud? “\The second date will go better when we don’t have to yell at each other.”

Some of these might actually be true. You don’t know they are lies when you tell yourself these things and agree to a second (or third) date. But then you go on the next date and realize that your instinct was right. This guy, while perfectly decent, isn’t the one for you. It can make it worse for them in the end.

Do trust your instincts

One of the most important life skills you can develop is to know when your decisions are usually right and when they’re usually wrong.

I am not great at trying new things. My initial reaction is to stick with what I know. But there have been several times when I finally tried something (at the repeated urging of trusted friends) and was surprised to find that I enjoyed it. My instinct for staying with the tried-and-true is often wrong, so I have learned to push myself past that initial gut feeling of “no.”

But there are other places where I know from experience that my instincts are usually right. Every time I’ve hesitantly (or indifferently) agreed to a second date, I’ve regretted it. So I have learned to trust that instinct.

That also means I’ve had to learn to say “no” when someone asks to meet again.

The “sandwich” method

This popular feedback method involves “sandwiching” constructive criticism between two compliments. I learned this in school and frequently apply it at work when talking with a mentee or junior employee. There’s no reason you can’t apply the principle to dating, even though you’re not necessarily giving constructive criticism.

Here’s the formula: 1. Positive greeting. 2. Refusal. 3. Positive send off.

How to politely refuse another date

Here are a few ways to kindly let someone know you don’t wish to see them again:

“I really enjoyed getting to meet you, but things have started to get serious with someone else I was seeing. I’m going to see where that goes. Best of luck to you!”

“It was great meeting you, but I didn’t feel that spark I’m looking for. Wishing you the best in dating land!”

“I really enjoyed meeting you and hearing about (your travels, your adorable dogs, etc). But I don’t see this going in the direction of a serious relationship and that’s what I’m looking for. Good luck out there!”

“You’re a blast to hang with and deserve someone great, I just don’t think I’m that person. Take care!”

“I want to respect your time so I want to be straightforward. While I had a good time, I don’t see this going anywhere. Wishing you the best!”

I have yet to receive a negative reaction to a message like this. Most guys say something along the lines of “Thanks for your honesty” or don’t say anything. And best of all, I feel better about myself for having been upfront about what I do and don’t want.

Read more stories like this, such as 8 Adult Ways to Help You Break Up — That Won’t Make Them Hate You.

6 Ways to Escape a Not-So-Great Date Right Now

April 10, 2018January 22, 2024 by Lacey McKennain DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

The planned escape phone call is old. So, here are 6 things you can do to end a not-so-great date before you’re out an entire evening.

On my most recent date I got to the bar early and ended up having a phenomenal conversation with the bartender. After he asked me to describe myself in 3 words, inquired about likes/dislikes in liquor he made me a custom cocktail. It was delicious. So was he.

When the guy I was meeting walked in I was disappointed that I wouldn’t get to talk to the bartender any more. Double damn, my date wasn’t my type and this was going nowhere fast.

But I liked the bartender so much and was curious about what else he would make me. So I ordered a second drink. My date was a good conversationalist so it wasn’t torture to sit there longer. But a second drink probably sent mixed signals to my date and resulted in my being there longer than I wanted to be. Especially when my fantastic bartender ended his shift.

That date got me thinking, I need to have some strategies for ending a date early. And if you’re trying to cut through the noise and speed up your dating success, join as a member of LOVE TV.

1. Don’t order a second drink

Yep, I messed up on this one. Not ordering another drink is a subtle signal that you may not stick around for much longer. Hopefully he will follow suit but you can’t guarantee that. Which brings me to my second tip.

2. Always bring cash

It’s nice to be able to toss a ten and a few ones (or more if you did go for that second drink) to cover your costs and get out of there without having to wait for a check. To use this strategy, you may want to couple it with one of the following excuses.

3. Your dog is mad at you

Or maybe he’s peeing on your favorite rug. Animals are a great excuse, even if you don’t have one. Maybe you’re dog sitting? “I would love to stay longer but Fido’s had a long day at home and I need to take him for a walk or suffer the consequences.”

4. Uh oh, tomorrow is Thursday

You just remembered that you have an early conference call tomorrow morning and you need to prep for it. Or it could be your early day with your trainer.

5. I’m meeting a friend for dinner

It’s best if you had this one built in from the start of the date. But maybe a reminder popped up on your phone when you had totally spaced it. Oops!

6. It’s pumpkin time

You could also go the route of classy and honest. Instead of making up an excuse, just tell them that it was nice to meet them, but you’re ready to head home for the night. Keep it simple and truthful; it’s actually easier than making up a lie.

P.S.

Remember that bartender? I’m headed back there with a friend to find out if our conversation was a fluke, he’s just a really good bartender all around, or if there really was a spark.

Why Not Having Sex on a First Date can be Awesome After All

April 17, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

There’s nothing wrong with setting out to get laid on the first date, but there’s fun in going on a date that leads to no sex, or even not kissing.

I’ve been in a total “dating sucks” state of mind lately. Maybe it’s the winter weather that makes me want to bog down in a sea of fleece blankets, warm tea mug in hand. I’ve been apathetic, because all I can think about is how much work it is to make plans, get dressed, go somewhere, and keep up the effort of being cordial with someone who could be a total asshole at the end of the night.

People who are hyper-focused on being in a relationship will approach dates with tunnel vision. The same can be said for folks who are hyper-focused on getting laid, too.

And don’t forget, if you’re trying to find the right person, join LOVE TV as a member today, and you can streamline your search.

1. A sexless first date can make you see a friend in a new light.

At the same time, if your date goes horribly that can be a sign that your friendship isn’t as solid as you think it is.

2. No post-sex regrets

I’m lucky to say (and it’s sad that I feel lucky in this) that I haven’t had too many sexual encounters I’ve regretted. It helps that I generally don’t have sex if I’m really intoxicated.

3. You can focus better on who you’re with.

And hey, I’m not knocking this at all. If you’re being safe and smart about casual sex, more power to you.

But what would it be like to go into a date with no expectations at all?

I heard some good advice once about dating and “meeting people”: focus on friendship first. Think of a first date as a potential friend. Find out their interests, see if they’re fun to hang out with at a museum, or if they like 90s sitcoms, or what they do outside of their day job.

We don’t go around sleeping with our friends when we first meet them – or at least I certainly don’t. If you do, you might have some things to work on. (Don’t we all?)

Here Are 15 Essential Tips for Dating in Your 30s

April 20, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Your 30s are an interesting decade and if you are single, we put together some tips on dating.

Whether you’re just getting out of a long-term relationship, divorcing, or seem to be perpetually single, dating in your 30s can often be tough yet eye-opening. So, we put together a guide for those who might need some extra dating help.

Don’t forget, we can help break through the noise of the dating world and streamline your success. Join LOVE TV today!

Here are 15 tips on dating in your 30s.

1. Don’t settle!

This is the number one piece of advice for women not only in their 30s, but any age. Your 30s in particular though are the in-between, often confusing decade. You are no longer a teen or 20-something but not quite an experienced 40-something. It’s important to remember that you never, ever have to settle. Everyone has been single at some point—you were a strong and independent woman then, why not now?

2. Don’t get too giddy about each new date.

I’m all for getting excited and optimistic about things (you should see me at Christmastime). However, with dating it’s important to stay calm and focused and remember to really think about whether or not you’re truly compatible with the person. Sure, there’s physical attraction, but know that will eventually fade. You’ll need to think about whether or not you can be best friends with that person.

3. Don’t get too hung up on your age.

If you’re 35, so what? Even if you’re approaching 40, who cares? Age is really just a number. I’m not saying date the first 18-year-old you meet, but remember that if you’re compatible with someone significantly younger or much older than you, it’s okay to go for it. You never know where the relationship will go.

4. Do use apps.

This one is for those getting out of long-term relationships. Chances are, your ex-husband or boyfriend was not met over one of the numerous dating apps out there. Now that you’re newly single, check out the options. I have known many, many people who have met over online dating apps and ended up married or in a wonderful, loving relationship.

5. Take advantage of work events.

Work is probably where you spend most of your time, right? Those happy hours or networking events are great places to meet people. Even if you’re not into anyone from work or don’t believe in dating someone you work with, you could meet a friend of a friend. That friend of a friend could be perfect for you!

6. You’re not as young as you were.

This may sound harsh, but it’s essential to remember that you might not want to meet someone at a bar. In your 30s, you may find the love of your life at the gym, in the grocery store or even waiting in line at the post office. Never lose the optimistic romantic views you once had in your 20s, but keep an open mind as to where you could meet someone.

7. It’s okay to be confused or on the fence about someone.

You may read about people feeling so confident or knowing exactly what they want in their 30s, but it is totally and completely fine to not feel that way. Not freaking out about your confusion is important. Just take things one step at a time.

8. Know what is make-or-break for you and stick to it.

If things like faith and family are important to you, stick to your guns. Same with any sort of values, be it political, drugs, alcohol, or just plain being kind to others. If someone you meet does something that is just not okay, don’t stick around just for the sex, or just to be in a relationship. It’s not fair to you or to them either.

9. Kids can complicate things.

This one is especially for those who’ve been previously married. If you ended up with kids and are now finding yourself single, just remember that dating can be hard. Many men can be scared that you already have kids or just plain don’t want them. It’s important to weed out those types of men and find one that you and your children especially adore and love.

10. Issues get heavier and darker.

As sad as this one is, be aware that the older you get, the more life happens to you. You could meet someone dealing with a sick parent or a parent that has passed away. Others can be dealing with health issues themselves, including things as serious as fertility problems to more everyday concerns like changes in diet.

11. Don’t be so set in your ways that you aren’t open to new experiences.

You swore you’d never date a Republican. You said your whole life you would never ever be in a relationship with someone who was a fan of your most hated sports team. Things like that are better off abandoned in your 20s. In your 30s, it’s crucial to be able to keep your mind open to new experiences and not become a curmudgeonly old biddy decades too early.

12. Nobody, and I mean nobody, is perfect.

Absolutely nobody is perfect and it’s so critical to remember this, especially in your 30s. You will never find a flawless man. After all, isn’t that what love is about—knowing and accepting a partner’s quirks and differences?

13. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, but it’s okay to be vulnerable.

This may seem like contradictory advice. However, it is true. Don’t open yourself up to just anyone. As I previously mentioned, you may have more baggage in your 30s. Not being completely trustworthy of someone right off the bat is okay. At the same time, even if you’ve been hurt in the past, it’s okay to open yourself up to that vulnerability. It will be scary at first, but I promise it’ll be worth it.

14. Be aware you may be intimidating to younger men.

You may not have officially reached cougar status yet, but being aware that you may be a little on the terrifying side to young ones is an aspect of your age to remember. Embrace your age and use it to your advantage. Feeling sexier, more confident and beautiful is a great asset to being in your more experienced 30s.

15. Have fun!

Last but not least, life is short. Have fun dating. If anything, you will have some wonderful, hilarious stories to share with friends and loved ones.

Looking for ways to meet people besides dating apps? Check out this piece.

7 Spring Date Ideas to Help Your Relationship Blossom

April 24, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Meeting someone special and going out to dinner for the first time can be exciting, but after a few evenings out, the same old date idea can get, well, a little monotonous.

Maybe dinner gets dull because you run out of things to talk about or you realize you’re not connecting… but I think a dinner date can get boring because sharing a meal isn’t always the best way to get to learn a person’s complexities, personality, and strengths. You won’t learn about his or her wacky sense of humor in a fancy restaurant and you’re probably not going to swap deepest darkest secrets in a crowded café.

In order to get into the real relationship stuff, to truly bond, sometimes you have to step away from your comfort zone (and I’m not just talking about ordering that strange oyster appetizer the waiter suggested).

Whether you’re just getting to know someone, or are looking to spice it up with your long term significant other, trying a new date could be just what you need to connect on a deeper level. Here are my seven favorite spring activities to help you break away from the safety of the dinner date and get closer to each other this season.

And don’t forget, if you’re looking for a little extra advice on dating and relationships, we can help cut through the noise. Join LOVE TV today!

1. Get to new heights… with rock climbing

I would specify by saying that you should take your date “indoor” rock climbing, but, who knows? It is springtime, so if you two are outdoorsie (and I mean really outdoorsie), maybe climbing in nature will be just fine.

But, no matter where you choose to go, rock climbing is a great activity to help a new couple bond. The whole date is like one giant trust fall exercise, which will help you build confidence in each other (and hopefully build confidence in your relationship).

Usually, in climbing gyms, one person will climb while the other will belay the climber with an attached rope, making sure the climber gets back to the ground safely. It requires a lot of communication and trust, which is exactly what you need to build a stronger connection.

When I went rock climbing with my fiancé for the first time, I was nervous. I’m a little afraid of heights so the idea of going up a wall was terrifying. Being held up by only a belt and one single rope made me extra unsure.

Still, being forced to put my well-being in my date’s hands really helped us build trust early on. You might even say it made our bond “rock” solid.

2. Size your date up… by going shopping

couple at ikea on a spring date — (Photo by Alexander Kargaltsev/Wikipedia)

Bringing your date shopping shows that you care about their opinion and respect their taste. Whether you’re shopping for a new spring wardrobe or browsing for a new couch, taking your date to the store can be a great way to get to know each others’ styles and get a hint into what your lives might look like if you took the relationship to the next level.

When I moved into a new apartment a few years back, I took my fiancé (then boyfriend) to Ikea to get some furniture. We had a great time looking around at all of the model rooms, choosing our favorite furniture pieces, and talking about our styles.

By the end of the day we were both happy with the furniture I’d purchased: I was glad to have had someone to bounce ideas off of and he felt honored that I had cared enough to take his opinion into consideration.

Of course, if you haven’t been going out long, you’ll want to start out small: let your date help you pick out an outfit or let him or her help you pick out the menu for that party you’re planning. The important thing is that you learn about your date’s style, and let them know that you care about their preferences.

3. Get on the relationship path… with a long hike

Hiking is a great way to get in shape, relieve stress, and get in touch with nature, but did you know it can also be a great way to strengthen your relationship?

Hitting the trail together this spring is the perfect way to get some one-on-one time in a romantic, flower-filled, spring setting, but it’s also a great opportunity for you and your date to learn to support each other. Even a short hike can be difficult and learning to encourage your partner, work together, and challenge each other can do wonders for a new relationship.

My fiancé and I have been going on hiking dates since we first met and we love trying new trails and seeing how far we can go on new paths. We’ll find nearby trails, plot out a path, then, over the next few weekends, build up our endurance and challenge ourselves to get farther every week.

Between the fresh air, teamwork, good conversation, and physical activity, hiking can really get your relationship headed in the right direction.

4. Prove that you’re not just playing around… by hosting a game night

As spring really gets going, and the days get longer, your friends might want to start planning more events and parties together. This is great because group activities can be a perfect place to bring a date to see how they interact with your friends, but it’s also an opportunity to learn more about his or her personality.

One great idea is to host a game night. If you happen to choose games where you work in teams, like Pictionary or Charades, you and your mate can have fun as you practice working together. If you decide on games where everyone plays as individuals, like Monopoly or Clue, this can be a great way to see how your date reacts to competition.

Game nights will give you a chance to learn more about your date, but it will also allow him or her get to know your better through your friends. Plus, you’re both sure to have a good time hanging out together. Looks like everyone’s a winner!

5. Improve your relationship… with an improv class

Being able to laugh with a partner, and learning to understand their humor, is incredibly important to any relationship. Take this idea to the next level by attending an improv class with your date.

You’ll let loose as you giggle your way through warm-up exercises like “what are you doing?” and “zip zap zop,” then you’ll have fun creating scenes with classmates. Improv class is a perfect activity because you can impress your date with your best jokes while you bond over trying something new.

When my fiancé and I first signed up to take an improv class together, I was afraid I would look silly. Of course, I looked very silly, but I found that acting goofy was half the fun. By the end of the class we were both creating scenes and making jokes just like the cast of “Whose Line is it Anyway.” Or, at least, pretty close.

6. Avoid relationship roadblocks… by taking a road trip

I’ve heard it said that you never really know someone until you travel with them… and I’m pretty sure that whoever said that was talking specifically about road trips.

Sitting in a car, staring at nothing but billboards for hours at a time, can drive a person stir-crazy, but a road trip can also be great fun, especially if it’s with the right person.

Once you and your mate have been going out for a little while (and gotten comfortable with each other enough to commit to a weekend together) consider taking a spring break road trip. Traveling with him or her will tell you a lot about their personality. Between the way they drive, the way to the way they deal with stress or boredom, to the activities they get most excited about, there are so many opportunities to learn something new about your partner, and so many opportunities to make memories together.

You’ll always remember that crazy themed diner with the Elvis impersonator and you’ll be able to laugh looking back at the time you almost ran out of gas. You’ll treasure the pictures you took in front of the world’s biggest yarn ball and think back fondly on the time you kissed by the grand canyon.

Road trips aren’t always perfect, but they’re a great way to see what it would be like having a future with your partner, learn a little bit more about them, and create memories.

7. Wash away any dating nerves… by creating a water park

Everyone has a child-like side, but sometimes it can be hard to see it right away. Take advantage of the warming weather by building a DIY waterpark, it’s the perfect way to encourage your date to get playful and silly with you.

What might seem, at first glance, like a simple grassy backyard, can turn into a mini waterpark designed for hours of fun. Set up is easy: turn on the sprinklers, fill a few water balloons, set up a kitty pool, and get in your swimsuit.

Spending an afternoon playing in the sprinklers will definitely bring out that playful side in both of you, plus, it can open you up to great conversations about childhood memories. After a water balloon fight, you can bask in the kitty pool as you talk about that summer at sleepaway camp or bond over stories about your crazy siblings.

It’s a perfect way to see a new side of your date and connect on another level. Plus, it’s super fun.

When it comes to getting closer, these seven spring dates are just the beginning. The truth is that any activity can be a bonding activity, the key is to just be willing to try new things together. Step out of your comfort zone, share a secret, do something that seems different or even a little scary.

In the end, you and your date will learn so much about each other, and with such a strong bond in spring, you might just have an amazing relationship by summer.