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Category: Sex

What is My Sexuality Anyway?

by Rachel Meghanin Sex

I know if I stuck to one label one day I would just begin to question it the next day.

The idea of sexuality has been widely established as a spectrum. According to a majority of people, everyone is a little bit gay or straight or whatever. Some people even pull the “who needs labels in the first place” card. The answer to that is, well, a lot of people. Labels are important to a lot of people to properly establish who they feel they are. But those labels can change.

I’ve talked before about how I identify as asexual. I came out as a biromantic asexual on Facebook to my friends and family not long ago. But now I’m even beginning to question that. I’m starting to think there isn’t a label for me.

And I am a person who needs a label. When I was told by a psychiatrist that I had bipolar disorder, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I needed that label. I needed to establish my identity. And when he saw how badly I needed it, he gave me that.

The concept of my sexuality is a much different thing than my mental affliction, but I’ve dealt with the same thing regarding labels. The mental illness thing was easy to pinpoint. My label as far as who I am in regards to who I’m attracted to, not so much.

I came out a bisexual when I was thirteen. My parents were very accepting of me and said they would support me no matter who I would eventually bring home, but they didn’t take it seriously. For years I had to defend to my mother that it wasn’t a phase and that I wasn’t going to go “one way or another” when I eventually settled down. I don’t blame her for it at all, she just used to not fully understand how bisexuality worked.

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We Discovered Some Amazing Ancient Erotica

by Riane Eislerin Sex

We have been taught that sexuality and the sacred are polar opposites, but they were united in ancient traditions across the globe.

Riane Eisler’s groundbreaking research and writings on ancient cultures reveal this exciting reality about what so many women and men long for today… more meaningful, fulfilling pleasure and loving sexuality.

Music: www.bensound.com

Top Tips for the Best BJ

by zfortadminin Sex

People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done.

Ever wonder what goes down behind closed doors at blow job workshops? Wonder no more!

Below, sex educators and other experts from around the country share their best advice from BJ classes. (NSFW material ahead!)

1. Start slow.

“It’s fun to start soft. Let your partner get hard in your mouth, without any motion. Just let them experience the warmth of your breath and wetness of your tongue then gently begin to suck. Anticipation will make your partner even hotter.” ― Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

2. Don’t shy away from lube.

“People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done. It’s actually best to add a bit of lube to get started: either water-based or silicone. After a few minutes, you may build up enough of your own juices to keep the action going. Sucking on a hard, sugar-free candy can also help you build up saliva.” ― Melissa Jones, a sexologist and executive director of the Sexology Institute and Boutique in San Antonio, Texas

3. Get handsy.

“Remember: A good blow job is 50 percent hands. Using your hands, with even pressure and friction in concert with your mouth, does more than what your mouth can do on its own. It can make or break a blow job experience.” ― Elle Chase, a sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life

4. Ask questions.

“Ask questions before you start and even during if you aren’t sure he’s having a good time. Every man is different. They don’t all like the same thing. Don’t ask broad questions like ‘Is this good?’ Instead, ask yes or no questions that give you concrete information, like, ‘Would you like it faster?’” ― Trevor Jones, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

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T&A Talk Sex: In Bed with Comedian Sina Amedson

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A hop in bed with Sina Amedson, comedian and creator of The Saudi Prince (a hater from The Roast Battle on Comedy Central) to find out some of his most intimate details on relationships, sex and the weirdest place he’s ever done it!

T&A_Sina

Check out our 2017 New Year episode with Sina and Trisha Hershberger about what we learned in 2016 about relationships and what we plan do do differently in 2017. Episode 127! How will you make your relationship better in 2017?

The Real Love Drug

by Virginia Jonesin Sex

“Oh oh catch that buzz

Love is the drug I’m thinking of

Oh oh can’t you see

Love is the drug for me”

– Roxy Music (Brian Eno/Andy Mackay)

Head and Brain Gears in Progress.think about loveWe’ve known for a long time that people who have just fallen in love feel like they’re on drugs – their systems flood with the feel-good hormone oxytocin, they don’t feel as great a need for food or sleep, and they can feel like they’re floating on air.  In cartoons, their hearts beat out of their chest and they hear Klaxon horns when they look at the object of their affection.  Sometimes their eyes bulge out until they fall out of their heads and are revealed to be light bulbs, which would be challenging to most people, but it doesn’t seem to bother them at all.

We also know that sometimes, people take drugs like MDMA or ecstasy to feel like they’re in love – which floods their brains with serotonin so that they develop deep emotional connections with strangers in a sand-filled tent at Burning Man.

This week, researchers at the Imperial College London may have discovered a real love drug that stimulates not just sexual but romantic feeling – Kisspeptin.

This hormone has a couple of important functions related to sex and reproduction– it triggers puberty, but it also turns a young man’s fancy to thoughts of love and romance, based on a study of 29 young men and their fancies.  Men were shown sexual images, nonsexual couple-bonding images, and neutral images, and their brains were scanned to determine their stimulation – those who were injected with kisspeptin did not just experience increased physical arousal, they also saw increased desires for couple-bonding and affection.  Their brains lit up in the areas associated with love and sex.  They also found neutral-to-negative images to be less negative when they were on the hormone, just as a person in love finds their mood elevated.

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Know Your Body Intimately

by Gina Cloudin Body, Sex, Wellness

GinaCology Principle No. 2 is that women (and men, too really!) should be intimate with their bodies, both from a health perspective and a sexual one.

Your health is YOUR responsibility and without an intimate relationship with your body, all aspects of your life become problematic; mentally, emotionally, spiritually and definitely physically.  Becoming aware of how aware or not aware you are of your own body is critical.

I made a video on this topic and share a lot on my philosophy about this, as well as give tips on how to approach and accomplish living connected to your body this way.  It’s part one, covering the health aspect. I’ll be sharing the second video on the sexuality aspect soon.

If you’re new to my work, please VISIT MY WEBSITE and join my mailing list to stay up to date with what I’m up to.  And please spend time on my blog, as I have many great topics I’ve written on that will really enrich your life!

And ladies, when you join my mailing list, you’ll receive a free body inventory assessment of 60+ questions to help you get more attuned with your body around this topic.

Much love,

Gina Cloud

T&A Talk Sex – In Bed with Trisha Hershberger

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A hop in bed with Trisha Hershberger (from her Youtube series, The Naked Truth) to find out more about her relationships, favorite sex positions, and what’s it like to have sex with a baby growing inside!

Check out our 2017 New Year episode with Sina Amedson and Trisha Hershberger about what we learned in 2016 about relationships and what we plan do do differently in 2017. Episode 127! How will you make your relationship better in 2017? Podcast here

http://www.tatalksex.com/

Noisy Sex…Who Is Having It and Why

by zfortadminin Sex

So is vocalization during sex just a performance?

All you have to do is watch nearly any depiction of female orgasm on screen to get an idea of how a woman is “supposed” to react during sex.

From “When Harry Met Sally” to “Sex and the City” to your basic porn film, women in the throes of passion aren’t just shouting their ecstasy from the rooftops, they’re moaning with pleasure. Loudly.

But is this just cinematic license, or is there really something to noisy sex?

Experts wondered the same thing. In 2011, Gayle Brewer of the University of Central Lancashire and Colin Hendrie of the University of Leeds published their research on the topic — technically known as “copulatory vocalization” — in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. In the study, they asked 71 sexually active heterosexual women between ages 18 and 48 for more details about vocalization during sex.

The researchers found that many of the women did make noise but not necessarily while they were having an orgasm. Instead, 66% said that they moaned to speed up their partner’s climax, and 87% stated that they vocalized during sex to boost his self-esteem.

“While female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously with male ejaculation,” the researchers wrote. Women also reported making noise to relieve boredom, fatigue and pain/discomfort during sex.

So is female vocalization during sex just a performance for a guy’s benefit? (After all, Meg Ryan’s over-the-top moans were meant to prove a point to “Harry” that men are easily duped by a fake orgasm.)

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How “Secretary” Set the Bar for #Fifty Shades of Grey

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

How Lee (#Maggie Gyllenhaal) found confidence in kink?

Lee Holloway and E. Edward Grey did it first. And did it better.

Many people may think Ana Steele and Christian Grey of the “Fifty Shades” trilogy set the bar for a modern D/s (dominant/submissive) relationship. But that bar was cleared back in 2002 with “Secretary.”

If you haven’t seen the movie (and you really should), here’s what happens: Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal) gets a job at a law firm run by lawyer E. Edward Grey (James Spader). Grey orders Holloway around (in both personal and professional ways), and each person soon realize that the other is into it. This back-and-forth battle of wills then evolves into a mutual dominant/submissive relationship.

When “Secretary” arrived on the scene 15(!!) years ago, sexual mores were a lot different, especially regarding D/s and kink. BDSM was lot more closed off, and wasn’t as mainstream as it is now. (Hell, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian have both rocked high-end latex dresses, once seen as solely part of kink costume, at mainstream high-profile events.) Consequently, people may have held misconceptions about what a D/s relationship was.

“Secretary” showed a woman who was willing to explore her kink, learn about it, and grow with it. The film doesn’t demonize or judge the kink (though it places other supporting characters in those roles). It simply sits back and lets Lee evolve into her true self. As she evolves, Lee gains confidence in her newfound submissiveness. She displays a more polished appearance that hints at her sexuality (including employing the classic tight black pencil skirt) and becoming more vocally assertive. She also becomes more active in pursuing her sexuality, educating herself on submissiveness and answering kinky personal ads.

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She Desires You

by zfortadminin Sex

A Woman’s Empowered Sex Drive

Myths die hard.  There are a number of old myths about female sexual desire: women don’t value sex, women are less sexual than men, predictable orgasm is the key to desire, since men have more testosterone they have more desire, etc.. In addition, new myths have cropped up in recent years: the key to female desire is erotic fantasy and playing sexual games, achieving G spot orgasms will build desire, scientists will find a medication to ensure reliable desire, the solution is finding a new partner each year, etc. Myths make for dramatic bar talk and media hype; it creates a lot of heat, but little illumination or understanding.

What is scientifically true and what relevant guidelines promote female sexual desire? The new mantra in couple sex therapy is desire, pleasure, eroticism, satisfaction. Desire is the most important dimension.

Female sexual desire is different than but not inferior to male sexual desire. Female desire is more variable, flexible, and individualistic. A little-known reality is that when couples become non-sexual (having sex less than 10 times a year) it is almost always the man’s decision, made unilaterally and conveyed non-verbally.

Most women begin a new relationship as a “romantic love/ passionate sex/idealization” couple. This is an important, but fragile, relationship phase lasting between 6 months and 2 years. The challenge for the married or partnered woman is to develop a couple sexual style which promotes strong, resilient sexual desire. Unfortunately, this transition is not successful for as many as 1 in 3 women.

The challenge is to balance her “sexual voice” (autonomy) with being an intimate sexual team. The second challenge is to integrate intimacy and eroticism into their relationship.

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Using Goddess Energy…In Bed

by RJ Newellin Mind, Sex

Giving zero care about what your body looks like. Game?

No matter where you identify across the gender spectrum, conscious connection with divine feminine energy can be a powerful practice in love and sex. This can be as simple as imagining yourself with goddess-like qualities, invoking the deity herself in loving ritual, or even engaging in full-on role-play with your partner. If the natural order of magic is love…the natural order of love is magic. Your inner goddess is waiting to be freed…so choose your energy wisely!

Here are five tips for using Goddess Energy in bed.

1. Discover the Divine in You.

Which Goddess do you identify with? This can change from day to day, depending on your mood. For myself, there is one multi-dimensional goddess in particular that helps in all occasions. What matters most is how you feel, so find what’s right for you.

Here are a few ancient archetypes that might get your imagination going…but keep in mind: these are only four of thousands of options.

– Aphrodite:

One of the most popular of the ancient love deities, Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure and sex. The Romans knew her as Venus. Worshippers invoked her for all things seduction. Fine art depicting Aphrodite’s famous curves is everywhere. Even the word “aphrodisiac” was derived from her name. It’s safe to say that Aphrodite is the O.G. of all things love.

Element: Water / Colors: Pink, Red, Gold, Seafoam Green / Mineral: Rose Quartz / Aphrodisiacs: Pomegranates, Chocolate, Roses, Perfume

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The Scent of Your Rose…Top Influences

by zfortadminin Sex

Maybe you’ve wondered, “Does my vagina smell normal?” 

I don’t care how comfortable you are with your own body, we all have those moments where we think about how we smell down there. Maybe it’s at the doctor’s office before a pelvic exam, or it might be as your partner is making their way to your vagina for some up-close and personal fun. You wonder, “Do I smell normal? And what is normal anyway? What is a vagina supposed to smell like?”

Healthy vaginas often do have smells! Most of the time, these vagina scents aren’t awful—they just smell like a vagina; like the way you sometimes smell sweaty or how your feet stink in certain shoes. We smell like humans, and the smell of our vaginas depend on certain factors. If you just took a shower and washed your lady-bits, there probably isn’t any smell. But if you just had a marathon sex session, your vagina will have an odor.

Every vagina has its own unique scent, which is a combination of the normal bacteria that reside in your vagina, your diet, if you wear natural fabrics or synthetics, your level of hygiene, your bathroom habits, and what your glands secrete.

It’s important not to forget that your vagina also secretes pheromones that are supposed to trigger sexual interest and excitement.

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T&A Talk Sex – In Bed with F*ck Yes Team

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A hop in bed with the F*CK YES team to learn more about their funny and heartfelt stories around sex!

We laughed a lot on this one! Emily Best and Erica Anderson also created Seed&Spark – pretty cool!

Erica and Emily talk openly with us on our podcast about recent awkward sex that T&A had, and how we as men and women can just make it …SO MUCH BETTER – Listen here:

This is What Compromising a Woman Looks Like, Ep131: T&A have bad and almost… Rape-y sex?! But instead of pointing fingers, the ladies chat with F*ck Yes series creators to unpack the situation and look at the underlying mindsets, beliefs and cultural influences that made T&A feel compromised.

Click Here for the ‘This Is What Compromising a Woman Looks Like, Ep131‘

Find all of our videos, podcasts, blogs, & more: http://www.tatalksex.com/

Skip the Gym and Do It in the Morning

by zfortadminin Sex

There are some small moments in life that are really great. Turning on the television at the exact moment Robin Williams is giving his moving “Dead Poet’s Society” speech.

Unexpectedly learning that your entire purchase has been discounted 30 percent at checkout.

Glancing down at your phone to see a surprising text from a potential mate. All these instances make us feel like the universe is on our side.

The same goes for sex. While getting laid is always good, there are some choice encounters that qualify as really, really great.

In the morning haze, when you’re at your most vulnerable and still easing into the day, nothing beats the feeling of having someone next to you wrap his arms around you and make you feel wanted.

Morning sex is like eating chocolate cake for breakfast — it’s decadent, indulgent and comforting. Plus, who doesn’t want to linger in bed just a little longer?

The benefits extend to more than just being uncharacteristically nice to everyone for the rest of the day. Multiple studies have shown that individuals who engage in morning sex are healthier and happier people. Your post-coital glow that others are noticing isn’t totally bogus.

Waking up to an eager partner sure as hell beats waking up to an alarm clock.

Here are all the reasons morning sex is the best sex.

1. Because you’ll actually remember it.

This is a win for you and your girlfriends, who will appreciate the fully detailed recap later. Normally you can’t recollect anything save a few fragments, “I think it was um, good?”; “He was hot, right? You guys saw him?” But now you’ll be able to fill in all the good stuff.

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