Tag: Sexy

Lingerie Rules for Sexual Success

by Jules Thompsonin SEX TIPS

In theory, I love sexy underwear. I own the requisite number of suspender belts (two), a multitude of thongs, have previously bought crotchless pants (although God knows where they are now), and, occasionally, I even wear these items.  And we all know how sexy underwear is supposed to work: you wear it, he is blown away with lust and gratitude, and you both have the best sex ever.

Except, of course, in real life, things are rarely so simple.

My lingerie heyday was undoubtedly during my student years. Back then, my 20-year-old boyfriend was delightfully responsive to any effort on my part in the underwear department. The merest whiff of stockings and suspenders and he was a shoo-in. My current 30-something man, however, is much less predictable.

Think of it like this: in the world of lighting, your 20-something male is a bog-standard lamp – he has a switch, you flick it, you turn him on. But by the time a man hits his 30s, he has matured into a more complex system altogether, a kind of finely-tuned motion sensor light. On a good day, this means you get to kick back and enjoy his advanced technology. On a bad day, it leaves you standing in the middle of the room, waving your arms around wildly, and wondering how the hell you turn the damn thing on.
Sexy Young Woman Wearing White Bride Underwear

The problem is, when we put on sexy underwear at the start of a night, we are making a firm commitment to both us and them wanting to have sex at the end of it. It’s a down payment on mutual lust; in my experience, couples often buckle under this kind of pressure. And even if our man does want to have sex, he might be totally unfussed by our undies. As my housemate – a relatively sensitive guy – put it: ‘By the time you’re down to that layer, your main concern is getting beyond it; it’s just an extra shiny barrier.’ Such a lack of enthusiasm on their part can easily lead to disappointment on ours.

These pitfalls are only exacerbated by the financial cost of decent lingerie. My boyfriend would probably enjoy an Agent Provocateur basque more if it didn’t represent a 50% reduction in our monthly savings. These days, nothing gives him a hard on quite like the thought of making it onto the property ladder. Conversely, nothing is likely to kill his passion quite like the thought of our future home disappearing in a cloud of lace and tassles. If I splash out on lingerie, then, we’re both going to want to see a pretty high return.

So you can see why my relationship with sexy underwear is not as simple as it once was. But this doesn’t mean I’m ready to quit the game altogether. No, instead I have developed three simple rules to help me (and people like me) enjoy a healthy relationship with my undies.

Rule #1 – No Surprises

One girlfriend of mine has sexy lingerie nailed. Firstly, she does not give a damn about the cost. Secondly, she is in awe of all female beauty, including her own (she sends me links to high-end corsets asking which I think would make her look the most adorable). Thirdly, (and this is key), she involves her boyfriend in deciding when the lingerie should be worn. Last Christmas, she bought ‘him’ a stunning corset. After its first outing, he wanted to know what would happen next, i.e. would she wear it all the time or only occasionally? Was it a one-off thing?

She explained to him, ‘This corset is your Christmas present. And now it can be Christmas anytime you want to it to be. All you have to do is say “Can we have Christmas today, please?” And I’ll make it happen.’

You see, the girl’s a genius.  Because it is the ‘tada’ aspect of sexy lingerie that so often backfires. I ran this theory by my boyfriend, and he agreed: ‘If we don’t know it’s coming, you can’t blame us if we don’t rise to the challenge. At least give us a hint!’

Rule # 2 – Know your Man

In the case of my man, this means sexy lingerie is best aired by day. When we were ‘courting’, our nights out usually culminated in wild, drunken sex. Now, they are more likely to end in wild, drunken promises to do it first thing in the morning.  My bloke peaks in the day; I must use this to my advantage.

Sexy lingerie woman

Rule #3 – Know your Budget

Sexy underwear can be fun and experimental, but invest too much and the stakes are raised. With this in mind, I recently did some browsing on ebay (‘refine’ – ‘condition’ – ‘new with tags’), and managed to get some rather nice Victoria Secret undies at a 75% discount. They arrived today and, I’m pleased to say, they make my bottom look lovely. My only concern is that the lacing running down my bum crack rather draws the attention to the wrong hole (a hole that is, by long-standing agreement, out of play).  Still, at that price it’s hard to complain. And, as the saying goes, never say never…

Tomorrow morning, my boyfriend and I have a rare shared lie in. I intend to get up, spruce up, put on my sexy budget knickers and one of his shirts (I have it on good authority that this is a winning combination). Then, I’ll come back to bed and wake him up with a hot brew and my own delicious self. He has been duly warned that this is coming. So, this time, he’d better wake up and smell the coffee.

A Practical Guide To Threesomes: And Lady Makes Three… 

by Virginia Jonesin Sex

The Menage a Trois: It’s said to be every man’s fantasy, and maybe it’s yours, too- but it can be intimidating.  Of course, there are many flavors of threesomes- I’m going to address the M-F-F scenario here, but there are some good tips for everyone.

Full disclosure: (Ooh! Sounds Sexy)

I’ve been both women in the threesome scenario.  I’ve been in the couple that invites another woman in, (the host), and I’ve been the visiting woman, the guest.

For many years I wondered what the motivation for the guest could be.   As a host, I’m having a sexy adventure with my partner that we can enjoy reliving together again and again, and she’s likely just having a one-night stand with us when she could be out having sex with single people.  Later, I had my first experience as a guest and found that the advantage of being the visitor is that you’re the dang superstar!  Being the guest is giving everyone that electric first kiss, helping a couple you’re attracted to have good sex, and hopefully having some yourself!

I know that there are sometimes three-ways where nobody is a couple, but that sounds like chaos, just two girls climbing over each other, hissing, trying to establish dominance.  I have no tips for that one but hide your wallet and use condoms.

 Good advice for the host:

  1. Despite what happens in porn, don’t invite your close friend, or someone you see all the time to join you in the bedroom. That can make relationships awkward.  Do you really want your fella to know what having sex with your bestie is like?  The internet gives opportunities to meet all sorts of people!  Take advantage of it!  In the 1950’s, you would have had to take a personal out in a swinger’s magazine distributed exclusively in truck stops to find a willing third.  Now, you can put an app on your phone and screen partners over lunch!
  2. Concentrate on finding a woman you feel curious about- odds are good your honey will agree.
  3. Don’t pick someone as a third that either of you are romantically interested in – the situation is too complicated as it is.  Be honest with yourself.
  4. Talk rules over with your partner and set boundaries beforehand.  Would you prefer to limit sex to oral?  Are there things you want your partner not to do?  Discuss them with your new friend.
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4 Steamy, Fun Sex Games To Help You Rock It In The Bedroom

by zfortadminin Sex

These games are sexy and lots of fun! 

Say goodbye to bedroom boredom. These fun sex games will definitely spice things up.

Constantly searching for things to keep your sex life fun can get very tiring. That’s why I wanted to show you my 4 favorite fun sex games to play with your partner. Just a quick warning though: Don’t feel like you have to try every single one of the sexy games with your man. You don’t. Only try the ones that you are comfortable with.

You’ve Got 30 Seconds

This first fun sex game is called ‘You’ve Got 30 Seconds’ because you are going to be giving each other a time limit of just 30 seconds to turn each other on and get each other off. To play the game, ideally you should have an egg timer as it makes quite a loud buzzing noise when the time is up. But if you don’t have one, a stopwatch on your phone will do. Set the timer to 30 seconds and then start it.

Your man will now have just 30 seconds to try and give you as much pleasure as possible. Usually this isn’t enough though…which turns out to be a good thing as it’s now your turn. You’ll have 30 seconds to try and give your man as much pleasure as possible and try to bring him to orgasm.

Now, when you are the person receiving the pleasure, you are not allowed to do anything at all other than sit back and enjoy it. You’re especially not allowed to give any directions or tell your partner what you are enjoying and disliking. It’s up to them to discover it themselves. You’ll find that you will both need multiple 30 second sessions to get each other off. Many couples often report that they get quite competitive when playing, ‘You’ve Got 30 Seconds’, trying to win, by getting their partner off first.

You can also add to the fun by inventing prizes for the winner (the person who orgasms last) and evenforfeits for the loser (the person who orgasms first).

Hot & Cold

‘Hot & Cold’ is much simpler to play, but that doesn’t make it any less of a fun sex game to play with your man. What you are going to be doing is arranging a few foods (usually about 3-4) that are either warm or cold. Think ice-cream, champagne and sorbet for the cold foods and heated honey, melted chocolate and warm maple syrup for the warm foods.

Note: Make sure that the warm foods aren’t hotter than your man, otherwise you may accidentally burn him.

‘Hot & Cold’ is a sex game that works best after dinner, I’ll explain why in a minute.

Next, you are going to bring your man somewhere private, take off his pants and then blindfold him. You now want to tell him that you want to give him a bj, but not the regular type of bj. Tell him that you’d like some dessert and have a few things prepared. If he asks what, then just say that it’s a surprise and will be quite pleasurable.

Then take a little scoop of ice cream into your mouth and start to very slowly give him oral sex. Starting slowly is crucial as you don’t want to give him too much of a shock. You can continue to give him oral sex, while slowly eating more and more of the ice cream/sorbet/champagne off his penis.

Next, you can then switch to something completely different…like some warm honey. The change should surprise your man, but more importantly it will make for a completely different texture.

The only problem when performing ‘Hot & Cold’ sex game is that your man will often come before you have a chance to try all the foods on him. That’s why I always recommend to use no more than 4 different foods.

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No Need to Worry: 6 Things Men Never Notice During Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

It’s only natural to be a little insecure in bed. (Let’s just be real for a moment, OK? We’ve all tried to duplicate our O-face in the mirror and walked away horrified that’s how we look in the throes of passion.) But the beautiful thing about men is they not only don’t notice our oddities mid-act, they have no memory recall of them afterward either. They just had sex—what more could possibly be on their mind?! So the next time you let something you’re doing to your face—or something you didn’t do the night before—get in the way of your pleasure, read this and forget about it!

1 How loud you are. As long as you’re not bellowing in pain or stone silent, it matters little at what decibel level you express yourself. So scream in ecstasy or clam up in time to concentrate on your orgasm—either way, they’ll understand.

2. How your boobs bounce. If you’re well-endowed, it may feel as if your girls are going to hit the ceiling, and watching them jiggle about may make you long for a bra. But while you’re worrying what they look like, a guy’s just enjoying the show!

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Being Sexually Purposeful

by Lexi Notabartoloin Sex

I like sex. I don’t say this in a scandalous, “Samantha-from-Sex-and-the-City” way, but as a simple statement of fact. Sex feels good, I think I’m reasonably “good” at it, and the combination of those two things is a bigger aphrodisiac for me than any sense of victory over a sexual conquest could.

That doesn’t stop my friends from making jokes (lovingly. I think.) about my “man eater” qualities. “Oh, Lex,” they say, “You’d destroy him.” While that might be true, it’s not because I’ve got an arsenal of tricks and knowledge behind me. It’s because when I want to have sex, I do. I act with sexual purposefulness. Anyone, with the right mindset, can, too.

If we’re being totally honest, there is a lot about sex that freaks me out. I grew up in the late nineties, when teen pregnancy was running rampant and everyone had at least one friend that had experienced “a scare.” This made me cautious, but as a natural-born researcher, it also made me endlessly curious. Vibrators? Nipple clamps? BDSM? If all these sex things existed, they had to be enjoyable to someone. Right? Right?!

Once I became an actual researcher, paid to examine things in a systematic and diagnostic fashion, I began to apply the same rigor to my sexual life. The results were fascinating, but ultimately just gave words to processes I was already putting into practice. Some call it sexual confidence, game, or swag. I call it being sexually purposeful. It’s a largely internal process, so like any good researcher I worked from a question set checking in with my subject (me) at multiple intervals.

What’s up with my body?

Sexual purposefulness begins, exists, and ends with the person living it. FYI: That’s you. It’s important to learn how to distinguish between “I want to have sex” and “I want another person touching my body.” They seem similar, but there is a gulf of intent between them. The more in tune you are with what your body is telling you it wants, the more sexually purposeful you can be. Maybe tonight you just want to make out with someone. You know who should know that? The other party in that makeout sesh. Nothing is more engaging or sexy than clarity.

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Body Positive… Big Girls Can Wear a Bikini

by zfortadminin Body, Wellness

“Bikinis don’t look good on bigger girls,” is the statement she’s addressing here, and her response is perfect: “I’m going to have to disagree,” Lane notes.

Loey Lane has become one of the most influential plus size fashion vloggers on YouTube in the past two years. And there’s no doubt that Loey Lane swimsuit videos are among some of her most popular uploads via her channel, which — ICYMI — has 359,000+ subscribers to date.

Lane’s fashion and beauty repertoire on YouTube is quite extensive as she covers everything from skincare to makeup to shopping to fashion to, of course, outfit posts. Weaved within her videos is a body positive theme that’s hard to deny. Though the comment section on many of her videos is often littered with haters and people who try to discourage her outlook on her own body image, there is also a ton of solidarity — making it obvious that viewers the world over have found her encouraging viewpoints on being a curvier, fuller-figured woman enlightening.

Last month, Lane shared a video to address some of the grief she had been receiving for wearing swimsuits in photographs and videos. The four and a half minute reaction, entitled “Why Fat Girls Shouldn’t Wear Bikinis,” has come to media attention this week, leading to her thoughts on the so-called reasons that plus size women shouldn’t wear bikinis garnering over one million views.

Here are just seven body positive points Loey Lane makes in the video, all while wearing a killer bikini.

1. No one human or entity can decide what’s attractive or what’s not.

loey lane

“Bikinis don’t look good on bigger girls,” is the statement she’s addressing here, and her response is perfect: “I’m going to have to disagree,” Lane notes.

She pokes fun at the fact that some people act like the general consensus from YouTube commenters is the “be all and end all” when it comes to a fashion verdict. But trolls’ words mean nothing, and they just never will.

2. No one can dictate what you put on your body

loey lane

Even though the thought of seeing a bikini on a plus size woman might still make someone bigoted individuals uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean you have to live by their standards. Basically, Loey Lane reiterates that what you want to wear and what you feel comfortable in are no one’s choice but yours.

Lane also makes the point that most of the time, thinner women are never asked to not wear a bikini or revealing clothes, even if some people’s aesthetic preferences lean towards fuller figures. So why should plus women be treated any differently?

3. Wearing a bikini as a larger woman is not an effort to make people believe they should be bigger, too.

loey lane

I love how Loey Lane puts this into perspective. In her video, she notes that it’s not like she’s laying out on the beach stuffing her face with junk food as a way of “promoting obesity,” (although it’d be her choice and her choice only to do so), as some critics suggest she and other plus women wearing a bikini are doing.

It’s as simple as this: Plus size women are only promoting self confidence regardless of size. That’s it.

4. Plus-size women are often misunderstood when they do “healthy” things.

Lane makes an excellent point here by reenacting a hypothetical scene of her with a bowl of fruit. A voice says in the background, “Look at her trying to pretend to be healthy. Go get on a treadmill.”

Plus women are criticized when they don’t “embrace a healthy lifestyle,” (“healthy” as defined by the mainstream, because there are many different ways of being/looking heathy, of course), but then they are equally criticized all the same when they share gym selfies or pictures of a banana. This type of standard is absurd and unnecessarily cruel.

5. Plus-size women in bikinis are NOT asking for your feedback.

loey lane

Lane also addresses the idiocy behind the comment that “if a plus size woman wears anything revealing, she’s just asking for someone to shame her.”

Here’s the thing: Most people don’t actually want Internet trolls or IRL bullies to say negative things about them. And the way women dress is by no means an open call for others to vocalize their opinions. Loey Lane basically says that if you don’t have anything good to say, why say it at all?

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When Did Sexy Become Being Naked?

by MONROKin Sex

I have lived in Los Angeles for 10 years. Each year, I see more and more clothes come off. This year, the latest look is walking around in shorts with both bottom cheeks hanging out and a crop top or bra. I have seen women of all shapes and sizes in this ensemble in Whole Foods, at the dentist, and out to dinner.

Now I am by no means a conservative. I’m a registered Democrat and I’m voting for Bernie Sanders. I am a girl who had fun in college. I passed out from being drunk, hooked up with guys so they would assemble furniture for me the next day, I have had a one night stand, ONE. I am by no means a prude.

What happened to just BEING sexy? Sexy used to be a thing you WERE. It used to be the way you fluttered your eyes, or the way you walked, or the energy you had. When did being sexy become being naked? There are other ways to lead with your sexuality besides baring your goods, and benefits.

Let me describe to you what I consider the best feeling in the world. The best feeling in the world is when a man, who really has no idea what your body looks like, sees it for the first time. Now, this only happens when there has been a build up. You meet, you go on a few dates, or maybe he’s a friend that you have decided to be intimate with. That moment, when he takes off your (chemise or fitted sweater, :P) and sees you in the nude for the first time is one hell of a confidence boost. Trust me, it is SO MUCH BETTER than him finding out as you walk down the street.

We say we should be able to walk around however we choose and feel safe, sure every woman is entitled to safety, but respect is EARNED. We, as women, are the gatekeepers of sexuality. The right to our bodies should be earned and not put out on display as if for sale. Dressing a little more modestly shows that you have respect for yourself, and your body.

If you are feeling sick reading this and NO ONE IS TELLING YOU HOW TO BE SEXY, just hear me out. These looks have worked for me and make me feel both confident and desirable.

Skinny leggings/jeans and a loose top.

In this look we are featuring our legs, so if you have long, sexy legs, work them. This look is great with ballet flats or even a mid level heel if you want to dress it up a bit.

The shape of your bosom should just be slightly discernable.

A tube style dress that is longer in length.

This look is great for showcasing your upper body, neck, and collarbone (which can be very sexy) The dress falling at or just above the knees is a really flattering length.

A fitted, long sleeved dress.

I adore this look. Your entire upper body is covered but your silhouette is perfectly framed. The length can vary, go ahead and show off those legs again if you like.

The key is to leave at least one body part to the imagination. And when that moment comes, when you are unveiled for the first time, you won’t regret it. BEST. FEELING. EVER.

How do you dress SEXY?

Sexy for Real… What Are the Magic Ingredients?

by zfortadminin Sex

Last year, I became acquainted with a man who was truly one of the sexiest people I’ve ever met.

I met him via a friend of mine who had gone out on a few dates with him and was absolutely besotted. She was not alone. Apparently, this man had his pick of many women, most of whom were very physically attractive.

The clincher was he was not particularly stunning looking himself. In fact, if most people passed him on the street, they wouldn’t have given him a second glance. He was at best an average-looking man with thinning hair and a slight pot belly.

Still, he definitely had it—a charisma that can only be experienced in order to do it justice. Within minutes, I understood completely why this man had managed to charm my friend and so many other women: he seemed instinctively in tune to the fact that the biggest and most thrilling sex organ any of us possesses is the one between our ears.

I freely admit that naturally sexy people have been the objects of fascination and envy to me ever since I was 13 and tried (unsuccessfully) to be one of those sexy types by carefully following the tips and advice inTeenmagazine.

I didn’t just fail in my fruitless attempt, but I failed miserably.

Like many, I mistakenly thought that all one needed to be sexy was to have the “right” look, the “right” voice, or the “right” clothing.

I was wrong.

True sexiness often has nothing whatsoever to do with appearance and contrary to what the media tries to sell us, it cannot be bought at the local mall.

While I have yet to harness the magical formula for myself, here are a few things I have noticed after having spent time around the truly sexy.

1. Truly sexy people are comfortable in their own skin.

While we hear the above expression a lot and many of us parrot it, few know what it actually means, much less what it feels like.

Simply put, it means accepting yourself for how you are rather than how you want to be. It doesn’t mean, “I’ll love myself once I lose 10 lbs” or “I’ll love myself once others tell me that I am lovable.” Sexy people don’t need or want anyone’s permission to accept themselves, and the rest of us shouldn’t either. If we do wait, there’s a good chance it’s never going to happen.

2. They don’t put others down including themselves.

In my experience, one of the least sexy things anyone can do is build themselves up by tearing others down.

In the case of the man I mentioned at the beginning of the piece, I cannot recall him ever pointing out the flaws of others or even comparing himself to others.

Granted, I’m sure he was aware of his physical shortcomings just like the rest of us, but he didn’t feel the need to point them out. He was even confident enough to post shirtless pictures of himself on social media sites which again suggested he was at ease with himself.

3. They are smart.

People may lust over “perfect” models or celebrities but the reality is no matter how much we lust for someone, even if we get them we’re eventually going to have to have a conversation.

Smartness is sexiness, and one doesn’t have to be a tenured professor at Harvard to be smart. Smartness is one of those things that can be cultivated.

In many cases, just having an interest or passion for something can be enough. At the very least, it shows that one is thinking about something other than themselves and that is sexy.

4. They are genuine.

Most of us strive by to be genuine and think we are when in fact, we are anything but.

Genuine doesn’t mean being nice all the time. It doesn’t mean never showing ours flaw or admitting that certain people or things irritate us. There is something extremely sexy about being able to show ourselves as the flawed, complex beings that we are and not worrying if it repels others.

While I am certainly not there, I cannot help but admire those who are.

If I could sum up the number one secret of being sexy it would be to be yourself.

Unlike great beauty or wealth, sexiness is something we can all cultivate for free. While it may not be easy to do, it is nonetheless possible.

In the meantime, if you have to be around one of these rare souls, study and observe them the way an apprentice would a master artisan. This is one case where imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Do You Feel Sexy and Comfortable In Your Own Skin

by zfortadminin Body

Have a habit of backing out of rooms so guys don’t glimpse your butt? Well, you’re about to trade that kind of behavior for a look-at-me-I’m-hot act. Read on.

If someone told you that you could send insecurity packing and radiate serious sex appeal in and out  f your clothes just by reading this article, would you believe it? If you said no (or even thought it  or a fleeting second), then you’re exactly the kind of person who could totally benefit from what we’re about to tell you. You see, attitude counts for a lot in life, and making little adjustments to yours can pay off. For example, “shutting out the negative chatterbox in your head that criticizes every little
perceived flaw and learning to appreciate your unique beauty is essential to true happiness and real
confidence,” says Susan Jeffers, PhD, author of Life Is Huge. The real shocker: It’s easier than you think.

Your guide to basking in body bravado—even in the buff—and achieving a new level of allure starts here.

Ditch Your Self-Bashing Mind-Set

“Left to their own devices, many women will focus on negative things about themselves more than the positive,” says Darlene Mininni, PhD, author of The Emotional Tool Kit. If you want to revel in body confidence, turn off that self-critical tape that’s on a loop in your head.

● Quit cracking “jokes” about your bod. “Even casual, half-kidding self-assessments get lodged in your brain as truth,” says Jeffers. Get into the habit of censoring yourself every time you’re about to utter a derogatory comment like “I’ll probably need a minus-A cup for my pancake chest.”

● Put yourself in the hot seat. “When negative beliefs creep into your mind, fight back and challenge each one like a trial lawyer,” says Mininni. If you think, I’ve gained so much weight, ask yourself What evidence is there? Have I had to throw out my old clothes and buy larger sizes? If the answer is no, you’ll have to face the harsh truth—you haven’t packed on the pounds.

● Listen to what those voices are really saying. Insecure thoughts can be deceiving. “They usually occur because you’re feeling powerless or scared in some aspect of your life,” says Los Angeles hypnotherapist Nancy Irwin, PsyD. So when that inner bitch taunts you, ask What’s really bothering me? Maybe you had a spat with your guy or you’re anxious about work. Identify the true source of your angst so you can ditch self-hate and tackle the real issue.

●Look at “I’m a hottie” evidence. Beth, 29*, blasts her body blues by flipping through a photo album she’s filled with the most flattering pictures of herself. “Seeing proof that I am attractive, despite what my mind is saying, makes me feel great about myself again,” she says.

Enjoy Being Eye Candy

Do you ever burn with self-consciousness when a guy checks you out—even if it’s your boyfriend trying to cop a stare as you make a dash sans clothes to the bathroom? Learn to love being ogled and your sex appeal—and confidence—will go through the roof.

●Step into his headspace. We assume that guys are just as hard on our bodies as we are, but that’s so not true. “Men admire the whole package,” says psychologist Sheenah Hankin, PhD, author
of Complete Confidence. “They don’t pick you apart, and they don’t look longingly if they’re not liking what they see.” So when a babe is feasting his peepers on you in bed, remind yourself that he’s
appreciating the scenery, not cataloging your “flaws.”

● Hang out in your birthday suit. The more time you spend in the buff, the more comfortable you become with your bod. “And more important, it makes you feel less inhibited when you’re with a man too,” says Hankin. Your homework: Sleep naked, watch TV undressed, and when you step out of the shower, wrap that towel around your hair instead of your butt.

● Work it while you walk. “Master a confident stride. It oozes self-assuredness, and nothing’s sexier than that,” says Hankin. To strut your stuff, stand tall, keep your neck long and straight,
roll your shoulders back and down, and let your hands swing at your sides as you put one foot slightly in front of the other (to make sure you get that catwalk hip sashay). And take your time. A slightly languorous pace screams “I’m too hot to be rushed!”

● Flirt your fanny off. When you’re stuck in a social situation where you feel awkward or you think you look like crap, you probably try to blend in with the woodwork—which only makes you feel more like a loser. So conjure up your feminine wiles and try to charm the pants off someone (figuratively, or literally if you want). “Flirting will take your attention away from your self-consciousness,”
says Hankin. “And when the object of your attention flirts back, you’ll feel more attractive and confident.”

Stop Comparing Yourself to the Competition

Bitching about the genetic cards you’ve been dealt, and bemoaning the fact that you don’t measure up to some superhuman bikini model, is a self-destructive waste of time. “Being threatened by other women—and their perceived perfections—makes it tougher for you to appreciate and play up your own assets,” says Irwin.

● Focus on what’s sexy. Ever wonder why a major babe would fall head over heels in love with some far-from-perfect chick? That’s because men (well, most of them) aren’t really interested in a supermodel-perfect partner, as Hillary, 27, discovered at her 10-year high-school reunion. “Steve was voted Cutest Guy in my class, and his fiancée was average-looking at best,” says Hillary.
But as the night wore on, I realized she was super-outgoing, really funny, and actually sexy.” Pay attention to women you find sexy who aren’t classically beautiful—it will teach you to appreciate you own uniqueness.

●Fight your “If only…” cravings. “Too many women think that life would be better if they lost a few pounds or had longer legs,” says Irwin. Well, guess what? Even if you had those things, you’d find something else to complain about. “It never stops because it’s a mind-set, not a real problem. You have to be happy with who you are now.” To kick that wannabe habit, every time you find yourself envying another woman’s assets, stop and acknowledge something that you like about yourself. “You can admire other people’s strengths, as long as it’s not at the expense of seeing
your own,” Irwin says.

● Don’t downgrade other chicks. Surprisingly, harshing on other women’s looks actually hurts your self-image as much as envying them does. “That yardstick you use to judge their so-called
flaws is the same one you use to judge your own,” says Hankin. Getting rid of that rating system will help you cut yourself more slack and really feel good.

Stop Soliciting Negative Feedback

It goes something like this: “Do these new espadrilles make my ankles look thick?” “C’mon, my arms look flabby, right?” “Just be straight with me about my huge butt—I can take it.” Enough! Though it might seem like harmless chatter, these queries are insidiously destructive to your self-esteem. You’re just reinforcing unhealthy thoughts,” says Mininni.

● Remember, it’s a big bore. Pay attention when you’re trolling for reassuring feedback and you’ll probably notice some eye-rolling from your audience before you get the same “No, you look great” response. That’s because your humble routine makes you seem self-involved, which is a total
yawn. It’s ironic, but perpetually broadcasting your insecurities can make you appear vain.

● Start accepting your props. When you get a compliment—whether it’s your guy praising your body in bed or a colleague admiring how great your outfit looks on you—skip the bashful rebuttal and try something more radical, like a simple thanks. “If you stop shutting out flattery and start listening to it, what you’re hearing will gradually become your automatic belief,” says Irwin.

Fake It Until You Feel It

You know how some actors become so immersed in their roles that they practically become their characters? Well, taking on a confident, sexy persona can help you feel like a confident, sexy chick. “If you make a conscious effort to act self-assured, eventually you’ll begin to believe it,” says Irwin.

● Lose the loser mannerisms. Folding your arms, slouching, or gnawing on your cuticles is the equivalent of wearing a neon sign that screams “I feel totally out of place!”

● Strike a poised pose. On the other hand, projecting confidence through body language, will make people respond to you more positively, boosting your self-assurance. “Confident people ‘mark their territory,’ ” says Irwin. “So, hold your head high and keep your shoulders back.”

● Get out of your clothing comfort zone. You may think your fat jeans make you feel better when you’re feeling blah, but you’re actually perpetuating that”I’m a whale” mind-set every time you slip them on. “Dressing well reinforces for you that your body is special and deserves nice clothes,” says Hankin. That means trade the schlubby weekend wear for cute body-hugging threads that make you like what you see in the mirror.

● Lay a sexy foundation. The confidence-boosting clothing rule also applies to the duds people don’t see, i.e., your unmentionables. “The garments you wear closest to your skin affect how you feel,” says Hankin. So ditch the granny panties, and make your “special occasion” undies part of your everyday wardrobe. They’ll make you feel so sexy, you might even give your guy a spontaneous
lingerie fashion show.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Truly Sexy People Do These 4 Things

by zfortadminin Body, SEX TIPS

Last year, I became acquainted with a man who was truly one of the sexiest people I’ve ever met.

I met him via a friend of mine who had gone out on a few dates with him and was absolutely besotted. She was not alone. Apparently, this man had his pick of many women, most of whom were very physically attractive.

The clincher was he was not particularly stunning looking himself. In fact, if most people passed him on the street, they wouldn’t have given him a second glance. He was at best an average-looking man with thinning hair and a slight pot belly.

Still, he definitely had it—a charisma that can only be experienced in order to do it justice. Within minutes, I understood completely why this man had managed to charm my friend and so many other women: he seemed instinctively in tune to the fact that the biggest and most thrilling sex organ any of us possesses is the one between our ears.

I freely admit that naturally sexy people have been the objects of fascination and envy to me ever since I was 13 and tried (unsuccessfully) to be one of those sexy types by carefully following the tips and advice inTeenmagazine.

I didn’t just fail in my fruitless attempt, but I failed miserably.

Like many, I mistakenly thought that all one needed to be sexy was to have the “right” look, the “right” voice, or the “right” clothing.

I was wrong.

True sexiness often has nothing whatsoever to do with appearance and contrary to what the media tries to sell us, it cannot be bought at the local mall.

While I have yet to harness the magical formula for myself, here are a few things I have noticed after having spent time around the truly sexy.

1. Truly sexy people are comfortable in their own skin.

While we hear the above expression a lot and many of us parrot it, few know what it actually means, much less what it feels like.

Simply put, it means accepting yourself for how you are rather than how you want to be. It doesn’t mean, “I’ll love myself once I lose 10 lbs” or “I’ll love myself once others tell me that I am lovable.” Sexy people don’t need or want anyone’s permission to accept themselves, and the rest of us shouldn’t either. If we do wait, there’s a good chance it’s never going to happen.

2. They don’t put others down including themselves.

In my experience, one of the least sexy things anyone can do is build themselves up by tearing others down.

In the case of the man I mentioned at the beginning of the piece, I cannot recall him ever pointing out the flaws of others or even comparing himself to others.

Granted, I’m sure he was aware of his physical shortcomings just like the rest of us, but he didn’t feel the need to point them out. He was even confident enough to post shirtless pictures of himself on social media sites which again suggested he was at ease with himself.

3. They are smart.

People may lust over “perfect” models or celebrities but the reality is no matter how much we lust for someone, even if we get them we’re eventually going to have to have a conversation.

Smartness is sexiness, and one doesn’t have to be a tenured professor at Harvard to be smart. Smartness is one of those things that can be cultivated.

In many cases, just having an interest or passion for something can be enough. At the very least, it shows that one is thinking about something other than themselves and that is sexy.

4. They are genuine.

Most of us strive by to be genuine and think we are when in fact, we are anything but.

Genuine doesn’t mean being nice all the time. It doesn’t mean never showing ours flaw or admitting that certain people or things irritate us. There is something extremely sexy about being able to show ourselves as the flawed, complex beings that we are and not worrying if it repels others.

While I am certainly not there, I cannot help but admire those who are.

If I could sum up the number one secret of being sexy it would be to be yourself.

Unlike great beauty or wealth, sexiness is something we can all cultivate for free. While it may not be easy to do, it is nonetheless possible.

In the meantime, if you have to be around one of these rare souls, study and observe them the way an apprentice would a master artisan. This is one case where imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How to Feel Sexier in Bed this Valentines

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS

Feeling sexy often has little to do with, well, sex. In fact, building your sexual confidence doesn’t even have to take place in the bedroom. Whether it’s tossing your old, unflattering underwear, finding the right lighting, or taking a yoga class, there are plenty of easy (and fun!) ways to feel hotter than ever. Let these ideas get you started.

1. Splurge on some flirty lingerie.

Who cares what Gisele Bündchen is wearing? The goal is finding styles you feel sexy in. So while a thong might work for one woman, perhaps you’ll feel cuter (and more comfortable) in a pair of boy shorts. If you consider a bold leopard print push-up bra too much, try a more subtle lacy number — it can be just as titillating.

2. Dress the part.

What you’re wearing before you take your clothes off is just as important. For some women, nothing makes them feel hotter than their favorite pair of jeans, whether they’re “skinny” or not. Others may prefer a short skirt or curve-hugging dress. Either way, choose an outfit that flaunts your fave body part — we guarantee you’ll feel bolder in no time.

3. Turn down the lights.

Florescent lighting is nobody’s friend. We’ve all learned this the hard way in many a department store fitting room. On the contrary, the right lighting in your bedroom can make you look and feel like a sex goddess. Light fixtures that illuminate upward are the most flattering, as are lower-wattage bulbs and ones with a pretty blush tint. We also love dimmers, lamps, and candles to set the mood.

4. Wax it off.

There’s something about a smooth bare leg that makes us feel like getting a little frisky. The same can be said for a bikini wax. It may sound like a lot of effort, but you’ll be dying to take your clothes off!

5. Relax.

It’s difficult to feel sexy when you’re completely stressed and exhausted. That’s why it’s important to make time for you! Ask your husband to look after the kids while you sleep in one Saturday. Take a yoga class or sip a glass of wine with dinner. We promise, your sex drive will thank you.

6. Break out of your comfort zone.

There’s something kind of arousing about living a little dangerously. Plan a more-daring-than-usual activity like rock climbing or surfing — anything that gets the adrenaline pumping. Not the sporty type? Experiment with wearing a shorter-than-usual skirt or a top that shows a little more cleavage. Even better: Send a sexy text to your partner or suggest watching a racy movie together.

7. Hit the gym.

Research shows that exercise boosts your body image — even if the number on the scale is exactly the same. In fact, a 2009 University of Florida study found that people who exercise but don’t lose fat, feel just as good about their bodies as their more fitter peers. So even if you’re still working towards six-pack abs, you’ll still feel hot.

8. Create your dream fantasy.

Why shouldn’t you be the heroine in your own romance novel? Imagine yourself doing all the sexy things you’d like to do… then do them. Try keeping a journal. Who knows, maybe it will turn out to be the next (erotic) best-seller?

9. Get your partner involved.

Ask him to remind you of all the things he finds attractive about you. Knowing what turns him on will help you to see yourself through his eyes. Then, you can do the same for him.

10. Don’t compare yourself to other women.

Just because Jennifer Aniston looks amazing in a bikini doesn’t mean you have to hide under your T-shirt. Measuring yourself up to not-so-easy-to-attain body images is a recipe for bedroom gloom. Look in the mirror, and take note of what you find sexy. You’ll be surprised by how much you really love your body.

TELL US: How do you make yourself feel more confident in the bedroom?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Tokyo and the Death of Sexy

by Virginia Jonesin Sex

…polls report that many Japanese people don’t want to have more sex- 1 in 5 men cite extreme dislike for sex, and 46% of Japanese women 16-24 want no sexual contact at all.

To the outside world, Japan is known for being sexy and even a little kinky. The women of Japan are considered some of the world’s most beautiful, and it’s the home of crazy Harajuku street fashion, host bars, and Hentai anime pornography. However, 25% of Japanese men are still virgins at 30, so many that a new word has emerged for them- yaramiso, which means “30 years old and haven’t done it”, because if there’s anything the Japanese believe in, it’s being on the nose with slang. Even men with prior sexual experience aren’t having much sex- 50% of Japanese men who’ve had sex before haven’t had it in a year or more. Women’s numbers aren’t far behind.

This has deep repercussions throughout society, with the population dropping by 1 million people since 2008 and raising concerns about society’s ability to support their aging population.

And what seems stranger to us might be that for the most part, polls report that many Japanese people don’t want to have more sex- 1 in 5 men cite extreme dislike for sex, and 46% of Japanese women 16-24 want no sexual contact at all.

It’s worth pointing out that Japan also has the third-highest suicide rate in the world, with 100 people taking their lives each day.

So- what’s killing the Japanese sex drive?

1. Money.

Reports are that in the money-flush 80’s and early 90’s, there was plenty of dating and premarital sex, but the economy took a sharp downturn in 1995 and that changed. How does that affect getting it on? When young people can’t afford to live on their own, sharing a small apartment with your parents can really put a damper on your dating life. In Tokyo, most teens don’t even have cars to make out in! Chew on that, America! This means that courting couples must visit love hotels, hourly hotels of varying levels of cleanliness and quality, just to have somewhere to be alone.

2. Social Shame.

Men whose careers don’t produce enough money to raise a family are shamed and emasculated, even as being single is normalized in Tokyo, with single-serving meals and single tables at restaurants everywhere. The Japanese also have a cultural fear of failure, and would sometimes prefer not to try to pursue relationships for fear that they won’t work out or they’ll be rejected.

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This Secret Ingredient Creates Genuine Sex Appeal

by zfortadminin Sex

That is the kind of sexy that lingers on in the mind, inviting curiosity and interest.

Selling sex appeal is a billion dollar industry. Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with sensory stimulation that insists how buying a certain outfit, a pair of shoes, a brand name perfume, handbags, prohibitively expensive cars, underwear, accessories even a certain pair of socks will make us ooze sex appeal.  Just the thing we need to spruce up our otherwise banal existences.

Billboards are getting exceedingly edgier, not to mention television advertisements in which models adorn high-end luxury cars, sending subliminal messages suggesting that the man who purchases this car will now be armed with the adequate sex appeal to attract copious leggy models. Recently I came across an advertisement doing the rounds on the internet, of a model biting hungrily into a juicy burger as mayonnaise drips down the corners of her mouth. It makes you think, who needs the hassle of a relationship when you can have a burger that apparently provides all the sexiness, without the drama?

Have we not become overburdened with such images? Everything guarantees sex appeal and lots of attention, even a dishwasher! So pervasive are these images that once too often we have noticed the poor dear on the street that donned the latest ‘sexy trend’ only to do him or herself the gravest injustice. Sexy is neither the fabric nor the tailoring, if you don’t’ have what it takes to carry it. But the persuasive advertisements will have you convinced otherwise. They will direct you to what ‘they’ think, (“they’ who have no clue of your individuality) what you should wear and how you should look. The dirty secret ‘they’ don’t tell you is how sex appeal, like many other qualities cannot be bought at the mall because it is not sewn into the fabric of the merchandise they are trying to sell you.

It is not such a rare occurrence to come across a uniquely attractive face, that does not hold up to the standard, air-brushed images splashed across magazine covers, and yet has a certain je ne sais quoi? We know it wasn’t the clothes or the shoes, it was unmistakably a deeper element ensconced within the personality, which ever so casually oozed out of every pore of that person’s being. You look carefully and see the facial features are not quite the standard idea of beauty, despite that, the whole persona is redolent with sex appeal.
When you don’t have to buy the hottest trends, the most expensive clothing or jewellery and get your hair and make up done by a professional each time you want to be ‘seen’, and yet, you exude an appeal that makes one hunger for just another look; that is what is sexy in the truest sense. We have all too often spotted women baring it (almost) all and looked on with dismissive amusement, while none can deny being totally taken by the vision of a confident woman who’s engaging and beautiful smile had our eyes follow her halfway across the block. There is an allure, a certain mystery that sets her apart. Baring it all will attract attention, for a definitive period of time and not always the kind one seeks, whereas floating with that inner confidence and feminine presence will always invoke lasting admiration.

Sex appeal is not a product that can be purchased over-the-counter, it is a state of mind, an inner state of being. It has nothing to do with the act of sex itself. It is not to be found in your closet, in what you wear, it is inside your head. Some women and men can look incredulously sexy hailing a cab, or stirring coffee in the kitchen or watering plants.

That is because sex appeal has more to do with self-esteem and confidence than with low necklines and high skirts. Not the kind of self-assuredness that comes across as hubris, but the kind that is at peace with its strengths and its flaws.

This holds true for men too — not all men who have toiled in the gym for the buffest body will ooze it. They may warrant a head turn or two; but we have also seen men who have a certain presence, an inner confidence as they walk into a room, again, that certain je ne sais quoi. That is the kind of sexy that lingers on in the mind, inviting curiosity and interest.

Confidence and self-esteem are qualities one is hard pressed to find in abundance in both genders. So when we see it, we instantly recognize it, it always makes the individual stand apart. It’s hard to put one’s finger on what it is exactly, but suffice to say people who have worked to conquer their inadequacies and made peace with themselves are the one’s who have that evanescent appeal.

Sex appeal comes from having the confidence to not just play up one’s qualities and revel in them, but to embrace one’s imperfections too. So its not as simple as putting on a sexy outfit, because on closer look anyone will notice that there is little else beyond the outfit. It is being sexy in whatever you’re wearing or doing.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

It’s Not Your Looks…These Things Are Really Sexy About You

by zfortadminin Sex

There is no denying that looks are what usually first attracts us to a woman, but most guys who have been around the block also know that how hot a woman appears to be on the surface has very little to do will how good the sex will actually be.

However, there is a lot that we can tell about how sexy a woman really is, if we pay attention to certain things. Here are 9 examples:

1. YOUR WALK

Oh man. A brisk, confident, heel-clicking strut? A slow, hip-swinging mosey? Would it be creepy if I just walked behind you for awhile? (I know. It would. That’s the definition of creepy.)

2. YOUR VOICE

Whether it’s smokey/scratchy, airy or, I’ll say it, slightly lisp-y, the way you talk can be a major turn-on.

3. YOUR SHARP WIT

Just watch any classic screwball comedy — verbal sparring is the ultimate foreplay.

4. THE WAY YOU DANCE

This one’s pretty obvious right? The way you move is the way you move.

5. YOUR ADVENTUROUS SPIRIT

And being up for anything kind of implies that you might be up for anything. On the other hand…

6. YOUR SHYNESS

If the bedroom is the only place that you really let yourself go crazy, it’s kind of twice as hot.

7. YOUR LAUGH

I think the laugh was the first thing I ever found sexy. Before I knew what sexy was, I remember hearing Kathleen Turner’s laugh (I was probably 7) and feeling something… different.

8. THE WAY YOU SMELL

I’m not talking about what perfume you wear. I’m talking about the way you smell. I’m talking about burying my face between your neck and shoulder, inhaling and losing all capacity for rational thought.

9. YOUR ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE

Nobody’s going to believe me on this one, but it’s one hundred percent true. Even the hottest, easiest sexual relationship is eventually going to run into a snag somewhere. A woman who can express complex feelings clearly and confidently is a woman who’s going to be able to keep the sex interesting and fulfilling when the initial shine wears off.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Dressing Too Sexy…What’s Underneath It?

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE

They do want attention, but if you need to ask, then they don’t want it from you.

I don’t wear sexy clothes. I don’t wear makeup. I don’t shave — anything. None of that stopped me from getting sexually assaulted, catcalled, harassed, and stalked. I have suffered because men are sexually attracted to me, and no choice I make will stop this. Refusing to conform to the norms of sexual attractiveness does not stop it. Binding my breasts does not stop it. Being read as gay does not stop it.

So why fucking bother?

If I’m going to be harassed no matter what, why not look good for the people who are respectful and who I might actually want to fuck?

I have spent a long time blaming myself for the harassment I’ve received, and every time that happens, I cut out another part of myself. I stop wearing things that I think I look good in so that I don’t accidentally turn people on. I stop flirting with people, I stop casually affectionate touch in case it is misread. I even stopped consciously recognizing my own sexual desire in case I accidentally communicated it to other people.

I read the saddest email I sent a few years ago:

Your continued affection makes me uncomfortable. It’s the same feeling as when someone I’m not into holds me in a hug too long, or someone I don’t like enough grabs my boob as a joke. It’s a creepy sort of feeling. I don’t look down on you or think of you as a bad person or a fool, but continued conversation with you makes me feel violated in a small way. And it’s ok, I’m willing to tolerate it if it helps you, but your love does not feel good to me and you should know that.

I told someone I was willing to tolerate feeling violated so that they could feel better. And, that’s how I used to look at the word. I felt obligated to suffer to any degree so that male sexuality would not be inconvenienced. I carried immense guilt for men who were attracted to me and whose attractions I did not return. But, my sexuality completely shut down, and I was left unable to form romantic connections to anyone. Being unsexy led to a miserable, sterile dead end.

Why do women wear sexy clothes?

Because women are fucking horny! Because there are few socially acceptable outlets for women to communicate desire, but how they dress is one of them. Because women are looking to get fucked, just like men are.

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