Author: MONROK

5 Clues He’s Worth Keeping

by MONROKin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

He has a dog/wants a dog/LOVES DOGS.

Having a dog tells you two things about a guy:

A. He is responsible.

B. He cares about something other than himself.

These are great qualities to look for in a guy. A dog is a responsibility. You can’t stay out for days partying when you have this level of commitment. There is someone at home that needs you. If you have the ability to love and care for an animal, you are most likely a kind and loving person. I have always said that there is no such thing as a “dog person,” there are people that love dogs, there are people that grow to love dogs once they’ve been exposed, and then there are cat people. On the real though, even if he has a cat, it’s cool, as long as it’s not more than one.

He calls his parents.

I don’t mean e-mailing, or texting, I mean ACTUAL CALLING. He talks to his parents. They know what’s going on with him. He has a vested interest in their well being. Do not confuse this with momma’s boys. If he is talking to his mother 10 times a day, that is NOT a good sign and will most likely translate into him putting his mother’s wishes before yours. Just someone that checks in with his parents to make sure everything’s all good in the family.

Portrait of young couple in love at a coffee shop boyfriend wipi

He treats all women the same. (NOT BADLY)

If a guy walks you to your car, he is a gentleman. If he walks your friend to their car, he is a keeper. Of course I mean he is doing this in a friendly manner, and not trying to get their number. Look for the man that treats their mother, sister, and you with the same amount of respect.

Your friends like him.

I don’t care if he’s “different when you’re alone” or “you guys don’t get it – I LOVE HIM, YOU SHOULD TOO.” If you are dating someone that your friends and family do not like (and it’s not because they’re being racist), chances are he is probably NOT A GOOD GUY. You are lying to yourself. If you find yourself constantly making excuses for his behavior, you are really making excuses for your choices. Make the choice to leave and do better.

He doesn’t leave the seat up.

Ok, this one might seem a little trivial, but what I mean to say is, he is considerate. Considerate of your feelings, your time, and your day-to-day routine is pivotal to secure a happy partner. If he’s ignoring your needs or putting his own needs first, that shows a basic lack of respect. So if he is unable to do such a small thing for you, chances are he won’t measure up when things get real. What if he has to pick up the kids unexpectedly or god forbid change a diaper, how do you think he will handle it? The least he can do is make sure you don’t take a bath in toilet water at 3am.

back view of young couple walking in farm road

6 Empowered Feminine Ways to Attract a Great Mate

by MONROKin LOVE

WorkoutBrutal athletic woman pumping up muscles with dumbbells

This may seem to some, the most obvious, and to others, the most shallow, but taking care of your health and body is a sign of self-respect. When you respect yourself, you open the door for others to respect you. I’m not saying you have to eat a carrot a day and start running marathons, just maintain a moderately healthy lifestyle. I once did a juice cleanse for a week and immediately felt like a new woman. I was hit on multiple times before I found out I hadn’t actually lost any weight. When you start to feel good about yourself it shows, and others respond to that newly found confidence.

 

Do Something out of your Comfort Zone

This has 3 outcomes. When you do something that is foreign to you, you

  1. Might find a new hobby or interest
  2. Might meet someone you get on with
  3. Might find something you abhor and/or a person you abhor

Either way, it’s worth a shot. When you open yourself up to new things you become a more well-rounded person. The more things you have exposed yourself to, the more you will have in common, or at least be able to have an intelligent conversation on with others. I joined an improv class once because doing improv was my biggest fear and ended up meeting a handsome businessman who was doing the class to help him feel more creative in the workplace. We both decided we weren’t improv people and then made out. You never know who you will meet and where so be careful to close doors.

Masturbate

I know… Seriously though, going weeks or months without sexual sensation can translate into anger and frustration. Nobody wants to be the bitch that needs to get laid. If you’re not the type that’s into one night stands, you might have to do it yourself for a bit. Use that imagination, and if you need help there’s a really hot video on youtube of Bradley Cooper speaking French.

3 More Ways on Next Page….

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Chivalry: “Because it’s Free”

by MONROKin DATING ADVICE, LOVE1 Comment on Chivalry: “Because it’s Free”

Women in the modern day feel that chivalry is dead. Some men even feel that it insults women to be chivalrous: “I can carry my own boxes, thank you very much.” Others feel it appears too eager, or too old-fashioned. When it comes to the bill, a common retort from men is “If you want to work like a man, and earn equal pay, then why should I have to pay for your meal? You can pay for yourself.” While I understand that position, come on man, can’t a gal get a salad?

Nowadays, with the line between being courteous and sexist becoming increasingly obscure, I understand the confusion felt by men. The days of approaching women on the street and offering a hand might be well behind us, but when it comes to dating, I’ve found a little bit of chivalry goes a long way. If you don’t have the budget to buy dinner, here are 5 chivalrous acts that go a long way whilst being completely FREE:

Open her car door.

This is a game changer. The payoff in proportion to the amount of effort it takes is astronomical. WE NOTICE. THIS IS MAJOR. Its been said “If you open a woman’s door for her and she doesn’t reach over to unlock your side, she’s not a keeper.” Unfortunately, now that we have automated locks there is no way to tell anymore, so you’ll have to use your own judgment. Opening the door is an extremely positive way to commence a date. It showcases you in a positive light from the get-go. Make this a habit, a reflex, and you won’t be sorry.

Call, don’t text.

Boys text. Men call. If she’s “weirded out” by the fact that you called to arrange seeing her, then SHE’S not worth it. When people are first getting to know one another it is important to communicate, and calling is pivotal. It shows that you are willing to make the time and effort to talk to her, instead of taking the easy route: “Dominick’s. 8pm.” which feels much more impersonal. Is this guy asking me out or trying to buy weed? A quick call says, “Hey, I like you and look forward to getting to know you.”

Walk her to her car.

You guys, there are rapists out there. Creepers, lurkers, perverts, and sure you could be one of them, but we trusted you enough to go out with you so at least make sure we make it to our car. We may front like we are just as tough and strong as a man, but the reality is we will always feel safer with you by our side. This shows that you are a protector, which is instinctually the key trait that attracts women to men.

Choose your words.

When you are at dinner avoid phrases like “Lemme get a uh…” or “Can I get…” In fact, you should always avoid phrases like that. The proper way to order is by saying, “I would like” or “May I have.” Proper vernacular is the mark of a true gentleman. If you speak to others in a respectful manner and ask instead of order, this will put you in a league above the rest. Never forget, a charming man that knows how to say the right things the right way can win over a Queen, even if he’s bald.

Get Dressed.

This is the generation of the hoodie. A hoodie is not an appropriate thing to wear on a date, it is an appropriate thing to wear to a second interview at Petsmart. Show that you care about your appearance, it reflects well on you. It’s simple; all you need is one good blazer – THAT’S IT. Throw it on over a button up, or even a t-shirt. JUST GET A BLAZER. It will put you at the front of the line, and every woman wants to be with a winner.

As for offering your jacket, pulling out her chair, and walking on the side of the street closest to traffic (so you get killed first) those go without question, but these are just some of my favorites.

Save Yourself From These Dating Pitfalls

by MONROKin DATING ADVICE, LOVE1 Comment on Save Yourself From These Dating Pitfalls

First dates are awkward as it is, as trying to get to know someone can have it’s challenges in any situation. When it comes to choosing a place, here are 5 date pitfalls to avoid:

COMEDY SHOW

I am a comedian, and every time I see a couple on a date in the audience I think WHY??!! Not only can you not talk to the person, but you don’t really know anything about them yet, let alone their sense of humor. Both parties are always reluctant to laugh in fear of the other person taking offense.

Comedian: “You know that awkward moment right after you finish where it’s like UH COULD YOU NOT BE HERE RIGHT NOW”

(Guy looks at girl smiling nervously.)

After the show it’s only more awkwardness. As you’ve basically been sitting next to a stranger for the past two hours you really have no idea what to say. Going to a comedy show is something that you should do when you are comfortable with a person, i.e. AFTER you’ve gotten to know them. Save this night out for when you are committed and need a break from Netflix.

ANYTHING ATHLETIC

We want to avoid starting off a potential relationship by competing AGAINST one another. Also, not everyone is athletic. You could really end up embarrassing someone. Once a guy asked me to go bike riding in Venice Beach. I was too chicken shit to tell him “listen, it took me like 6 years to learn how to ride a bike that ended in my mom enrolling me in “biking school” which was basically an indoor gym for uncoordinated children to ride around with training wheels on.“ Needless to say, I shouldn’t have to bring my helmet and kneepads to get to know someone. Activities that require teamwork where you can excel/learn together tend to be better suited for dates, like a cooking class or wine tasting.

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What Is HOT About a Stable Guy

by MONROKin LOVE

PASSION. Definition: strong and barely controllable emotion. Is passion a good thing? How much do we want of it in a relationship?

Often times, women feel like they have to make a choice between the hot and heavy/ tumultuous relationship and the boring/stable one. The real question is, why is passion paired with feelings of anger and jealousy and stability paired with feelings of boredom and dissatisfaction. What is it about the reliable man that unconditionally loves and supports us that makes us want to run the other way?

We don’t want to be in a relationship completely void of passion, so we might have to rewire ourselves. Here are 5 things about stable men that we should feel passionate about.

He has a job.

This might seem a little obvious, but any person who gets up every day and goes to work deserves some respect. He’s not “figuring things out.” His employer counts on him to be there, and he’s there. That means he is a reliable person. THAT IS HOT. When you call, he answers. He’s not “so high he fell asleep.”

He respects your friends.

The stable man is always down for a night out with your friends. He’s not living for himself and his own pleasure. He likes being part of a team. THIS IS HOT. You don’t want the guy who ditches you last minute because “my buddy wants to watch the game.” You want a guy you can MAKE PLANS WITH, who is capable of saying things like “I can’t tonight, maybe another time.”

He listens.

It’s simple. When you talk, he listens. “Huh?” and “sorry babe, what?” is not something that happens often after you have been talking for an extended amount of time. Not listening is a sign of disrespect. It is NOT HOT. It means they are prioritizing whatever they are doing or thinking over you. Unless of course, you are a total chatterbox, in that case it is you that might have a little work to do.Love, relationship. Beautiful couple at home

He keeps his place neat.

His place is tidy; he has furniture. He has a box spring, AND A BED FRAME. THESE ITEMS ARE HOT. Who wants to do it on a mattress on the floor whose sheets haven’t been changed in ages? Having your place together means you have your life together and that you aren’t looking for a mother to manage your life, you are looking for a partner to share your life with.

He doesn’t swear at you.

It is shocking to me how many women will put up with this during an argument. It is absolutely unacceptable to use profanity in any way or call your partner names. This is a sign of a person that is not evolved = NOT HOT. Plus, it sets the tone for your relationship. Once you condone this kind of behavior, it is easy to go downhill from there. The balanced man knows how to express his concerns without going to a dark place. His tone may be firm, but he is not disrespectful.

Keeping it Fresh in a Committed Relationship

by MONROKin LOVE

Relationships are like plants. They have to be nurtured, or they will die. It is easy to go from passionate lovers to random roommates if you don’t keep a watch on things. You get busy, you don’t prioritize the other person, and pretty soon you barely know one another. Here are 5 things you can do with your partner to ensure you are still a team and connected to each other.

Laugh Together

Find a show or a comedian that you both enjoy and can enjoy together. It is important to share humorous moments in life, it’s a specific kind of bond. Plus, quoting shows to one another is so much fun! If you are busy people, designate a specific night or time of the week to this. No cancellations, take it seriously. My husband and I enjoy Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker” (I know!)

Don’t Yell

When having a disagreement, it is easy to let things escalate until the situation becomes a full blown war. Try your best to speak in a calm, and respectful tone even if you are upset or seriously enraged. I know, THIS IS REALLY HARD, but it can be done. Trust me, it is better for your relationship. You have to set the bar for how you are going to speak to one another, and it is important not to cross the line. Basically, don’t call your partner a piece of shit for waking you up from a nap (referring to a friend, of course).

Do STUFF

Even if you aren’t in the mood for actual sex, do other stuff. Get involved. Be careful not to let weeks or months go by without any sexual activity; remember habits can be formed overnight and can take ages to break. Once I was “not in the mood,” and one day turned into one week, one week turned into one month, and pretty soon I was in a sexless and coincidentally loveless relationship wondering where all the passion went. So keep it up. Even when you don’t feel like it, once you start you will get into it. Sexual activity has to be maintained just like your nails, or gym routine. Don’t slack off in this essential department.

TALK

It is shocking to me how some people manage to live with someone without having any real conversations. Every evening I turn off the TV, get off my computer, put away my phone, open a bottle of wine, and TALK to my husband (for at least one hour) to reconnect. I don’t mean talk about the weather, or what you have to do that week, or when the kids have to be picked up, I mean TALK ABOUT THINGS. Talk about your opinions, what you think about the current state of affairs, what your common goals are, what you see your life to be years down the line. Your feelings, what you feel one another could work on, be better at etc. (in a constructive manner) It is the only way to evolve as a couple. The alternative is growing apart.

“I love you.”

I know this sounds cheesy, but you can’t stop saying it. I say it when I get off the phone, I write sweet things and leave them on post it notes, I just find a way to say it, EVERY DAY. It is important to relay the message “hey, I love you and I appreciate everything you do.” You can even say those exact words. Remember when you first started dating? How obsessed were you with waiting to hear those words? …and when it happened? OMYGOD. BEST. FEELING. EVER. So why should we let that die? Staying in love over time is hard enough as it is, and it’s even harder if you stop saying it.

Marry the Man that Asks

by MONROKin LOVE

A comedian friend of mine by the name of Paul Danke, once gave me some very sound advice “Marry the man that asks you to marry him, because the men that want to get married, GET MARRIED.”

As modern day women, independent, self sufficient, and sometimes downright arrogant, we can forget that it takes two people to be in a relationship. We often feel that we are the masters of our own universe, and that our dream guy is just going to fall out of the sky because we “manifested” it. We fail to realize that we can’t actually get married unless someone asks us to be his wife. Yes, feminism aside, the power ultimately still lies with men. We can decline, but they have to ask, and cough up 3 months salary in jewelry.

The problem is, there are only a certain number of men around that are willing to do that. We can date guys, fall in love, break up, have passionate romances, but only a few of those men are ready enough to be adults and step up to the plate. Rejecting them can be a dangerous game.

What is the #1 reason we reject people? Because we think we can do better. Taller, more handsome, better job, different family, bigger penis, whatever. We can dream up an endless list of the things we would like to have. I always thought I was going to marry a French diplomat that loved female stand up comedians. I married an Egyptian talk show host that grew up in New Jersey. AND HE IS JUST GREAT.

The reason so many of us are single is because we are delusional about our own self worth. We think we deserve the world, but what we really deserve is standing right in front of us. It’s what we’ve attracted. It’s the universe presenting us with a gift. Do we open it or regift it to someone else?

Nothing can stop a man that wants to get married and have a family life. They aren’t afraid to take the plunge. Who does that leave behind? Divorcees, commitment-phobes, lifetime party boys, basically not anyone that was on your “list.” These guys can be a lot of fun, but do not be fooled — expect nothing from the guy who cancels plans last minute because they “have a buddy in town.”

“Marry the man that asks you” is basically saying “Marry the man that loves you the most” aka is willing to spend the rest of his life dealing with your mood swings, unprovoked fury and (often psychological) criticisms in an effort to be with you. I’ve often been asked what my “type” is. I don’t have a “type.” My type is anyone that likes me; guys that aren’t into me are a turnoff, because I like myself. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life chasing someone that feels he is “out of my league.”

It’s hard out there. With Tinder and the myriad of online dating services, it’s easy to feel like the possibilities are endless. It’s a false illusion. Sure, there’s always a penis around the corner, but it doesn’t have a ring on it.

When Did Sexy Become Being Naked?

by MONROKin Sex

I have lived in Los Angeles for 10 years. Each year, I see more and more clothes come off. This year, the latest look is walking around in shorts with both bottom cheeks hanging out and a crop top or bra. I have seen women of all shapes and sizes in this ensemble in Whole Foods, at the dentist, and out to dinner.

Now I am by no means a conservative. I’m a registered Democrat and I’m voting for Bernie Sanders. I am a girl who had fun in college. I passed out from being drunk, hooked up with guys so they would assemble furniture for me the next day, I have had a one night stand, ONE. I am by no means a prude.

What happened to just BEING sexy? Sexy used to be a thing you WERE. It used to be the way you fluttered your eyes, or the way you walked, or the energy you had. When did being sexy become being naked? There are other ways to lead with your sexuality besides baring your goods, and benefits.

Let me describe to you what I consider the best feeling in the world. The best feeling in the world is when a man, who really has no idea what your body looks like, sees it for the first time. Now, this only happens when there has been a build up. You meet, you go on a few dates, or maybe he’s a friend that you have decided to be intimate with. That moment, when he takes off your (chemise or fitted sweater, :P) and sees you in the nude for the first time is one hell of a confidence boost. Trust me, it is SO MUCH BETTER than him finding out as you walk down the street.

We say we should be able to walk around however we choose and feel safe, sure every woman is entitled to safety, but respect is EARNED. We, as women, are the gatekeepers of sexuality. The right to our bodies should be earned and not put out on display as if for sale. Dressing a little more modestly shows that you have respect for yourself, and your body.

If you are feeling sick reading this and NO ONE IS TELLING YOU HOW TO BE SEXY, just hear me out. These looks have worked for me and make me feel both confident and desirable.

Skinny leggings/jeans and a loose top.

In this look we are featuring our legs, so if you have long, sexy legs, work them. This look is great with ballet flats or even a mid level heel if you want to dress it up a bit.

The shape of your bosom should just be slightly discernable.

A tube style dress that is longer in length.

This look is great for showcasing your upper body, neck, and collarbone (which can be very sexy) The dress falling at or just above the knees is a really flattering length.

A fitted, long sleeved dress.

I adore this look. Your entire upper body is covered but your silhouette is perfectly framed. The length can vary, go ahead and show off those legs again if you like.

The key is to leave at least one body part to the imagination. And when that moment comes, when you are unveiled for the first time, you won’t regret it. BEST. FEELING. EVER.

How do you dress SEXY?

Ask Him Out! Here’s How.

by MONROKin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

The tables have turned. Women are in charge, there are now even dating apps that immediately put the ball in our court to open the conversation with a man of interest. So why not do it on the street?

I was 24 years old. One morning, I went to breakfast with a friend. I noticed a man with olive skin, and slightly longer hair that took my breath away. My friend said that I should say something, but I was too timid. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t eat anything; there was just something about this guy. My friend finally decided that she was going to say something. She walked over to his table and told him that her friend was interested in him. He asked “What friend?” She turned around and I had jumped the fence of the restaurant and was hiding in a clothing store next door. “Uh, she was just here, anyway, here’s her number…”

He called. We arranged to meet that night. He ended up coming to a Comedy Show I was performing at. He joined to grab a bite with all the comics afterwards and ended up picking up the entire bill. Thus began the passionate affair with a serious gentleman that lasted for the next three years. (I know this would be better if I said “ …and now we’ve been married for x years,” but it was a significant relationship and an experience that I learned a lot from.) He totally Pretty Woman’d me (except I wasn’t a prostitute, just a young, nerdy kid). Regardless, the relationship helped me bloom into the woman I am today.

That is an example of what can happen when you say something (albeit it, my friend spoke on my behalf). This was in 2006, it is now 2015, and fewer and fewer men have the gumption to approach a woman in public. The tables have turned. Women are in charge, there are now even dating apps that immediately put the ball in our court to open the conversation with a man of interest. So why not do it on the street?

How many times do you see someone in public that you find cute but are too shy to do anything about it? The next time you are on the elevator with someone that peaks your interest, or see someone at a coffee shop, just walk up to the guy and introduce yourself. What do you have to lose? It’s so easy to hide behind your computer screen or be glued to your phone that you could in fact miss an opportunity right in front of your face. Look up folks! There are men everywhere; who says we can’t speak to them? I know, it might seem super creepy and weird at first, but it’s actually not that bad. Turns out, guys are really easy to approach. THEY LOVE WOMEN and don’t mind talking to us!

I have since been helping friends have the confidence to approach men and have two relationships under my belt. Most guys think it’s sexy and a turn-on, very few feel “intimidated” by it and come on, who wants a guy that feels intimidated by a woman anyway? Confidence is always attractive regardless of gender. It shows that you aren’t afraid of failure, and that is a great quality to have in life.

How about you? Do you make the first move?

The Art of Compromise in a World of Me

by MONROKin RELATIONSHIPS

“I confronted my mother about this and essentially forced her to get back into bed with my dad and deal.”

I saw an advertisement for the “Sleep Number” mattress on television the other day, advertised as “the mattress for couples.” You can adjust each side of the mattress to meet each individual’s needs. Basically, it’s two separate beds.

My Mom and Dad and a Sleeping Bag

When I was a kid my mother had trouble sleeping due to my father’s asthmatic snoring. One day she decided to set up a sleeping bag for herself in her office. When I had friends come over they would pass by the office and ask “Who sleeps in there?” I was embarrassed to tell them that my parents slept in different rooms, so I would say my cat uses the sleeping bag. I confronted my mother about this and essentially forced her to get back into bed with my dad and deal. She did, and is still next to him now 35 years later.

YOU and Compromise

Couples that sleep together tend to communicate more easily and have even been found to experience better health. In modern society, are we so obsessed with individuality that we can no longer share a mattress with our partner? If we can’t share a mattress, what can we share? What happened to compromise?

Compromise is one of the most essential parts of a relationship; it’s one of the fundamental pillars. We are currently living in the world of the individual: “Be Independent! Just do YOU! YOU are perfect, just the way YOU are!” Wrong, wrong, WRONG! Everyone has things they can work on. Everyone can learn how to compromise; it is a positive skill to hone. If you are that obsessed with being independent, then maybe a relationship is not for you. Being in a relationship IS a compromise in and of itself, because you have to think of someone else every time you make a decision.

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Arranged Marriage – Time to Bring It Back?

by MONROKin LOVE

News Flash: Life is not the movies. Marriage is extremely difficult and unnatural. You have to constantly work on yourself.

My father was working as a math professor in Sydney, Australia in 1976. He was one of the very few Indian immigrants there at the time. Like many of us, he turned 30 and all of his friends started getting married. Out of options, one of his friends suggested he take a trip back to India to try and meet someone, because that’s what was done – in fact, it still often is. He decided to go back home to New Delhi and summoned his mother for help. She alerted the troops and was able to find him 21 girls to go on dates with. Impressive numbers, 20 years before mainstream dial-up. The 21st girl was my mother. He was 31, she was 24. He proposed to her on their first date. (My mother will say the 20 girls before her rejected his proposal, he will say she is the only one he asked – the jury’s still out.) She was looking for three things: someone intelligent, someone that lived outside of India, and someone that wouldn’t beat her. He checked all the boxes, (fingers crossed on the last one). Two weeks later they were married.

Two strangers starting a life together in a foreign country. It sounds like a bad reality show. He had told her he was all set up in Sydney, had a great job, awesome place, friends, etc. She arrives to find out that he was more eccentric than she had thought. Dad was living in an apartment that was completely unfurnished and sleeping on a green yoga mat. He had equations written on the walls and had one pot in which he made franks and beans every night for dinner. He was giving all his money to literally anyone that asked and had $100 in savings, which contrary to your suspicion still wasn’t a lot in the late ‘70s. His best friend was a man named Ernie, who lived off the Sydney Harbor on a tiny patch of land the size of a bathroom where he and my father would boat out to and get trashed. This was NOT what she had hoped for.

Somehow, they managed to put in 15 solid years of work into the marriage. She helped him balance his life. She gave him two daughters that adore him. She taught him countless things like dental hygiene, how to save and invest their money, how to eat properly, and even how to swim! She saved him from himself.

He was nothing but an unpublished assistant professor when they met, paper after paper rejected. He worked tirelessly and with the support of my mother has now been published in every major mathematical publication worldwide, has won countless awards, and serves on the Nobel Prize Committee. He has given her a life she had never imagined. European vacations, property ownership, and the best lesson of all, that a glass of wine every night won’t kill you. (they’re drunks!)

It appears that when you start at rock bottom, things can only get better. As if this wasn’t enough, after 15 years, they fell in love. They now have been married for 37 years.

News Flash: Life is not the movies. Marriage is extremely difficult and unnatural. You have to constantly work on yourself. It’s almost impossible to be head over heels in love with someone, every day, forever. You fight, you make up, you change, you grow, you fight, you make up, you change, you adjust and then eventually you are too old to give a shit and then you die.

If your first marriage fails, statistically your second marriage has a higher percentage of failing, and third even more so. Why? Because it is impossible to obtain 100% of your happiness from another person. We set the bar so high, and then are disappointed.

What my parents have managed to do is to try and focus on the good the other person brings you, versus the things you can’t stand. If you only focus on the good, you are setting yourself up for success. Example: He doesn’t take out the trash, but HE DOES work hard all day, earn a good living, and hates sports!

There is no such thing as the perfect man or woman, it’s a myth. Even if you were to find the perfect someone, you would be over him or her and bored in a matter of time – these are the facts.

Once you accept that he’s not going to fill your wine glass when it’s low (the #1 quality I look for in a man), you will have an easier time. Whether it’s easy or not, I will say this: there IS something special about sharing a lifetime with only one person. Maybe it’s time for our generation to start from scratch with someone, rather than go into a relationship expecting compatibility and perfection. Grow together; it’s a gamble on both sides. What makes you think you’re so great?

5 Wedding Traditions That Need to Go

by MONROKin LOVE

This one needs to go right now. Guess which one?

It’s wedding season. The time of year where the most common question asked is “What’s your address?” Sifting through countless invitations, those in our mid twenties to mid thirties must decide which weddings we are going to go into debt for this year. Weddings can be a lot of fun, and are a great place to meet people, however here are 5 wedding traditions that need to go:

Speeches That Need to Go

“Hi, I’m Tiara, and I met Heidi when we were pledging Tri Delt — and here’s a completely irrelevant story that no one can relate to but us.”

NO ONE CARES

I am a firm believer that you should only get up to make a speech if you are a public speaker, host, or entertainer. Otherwise, you most likely have no idea how to give a speech. It is a skillset. Listening to 5 or 6 people in the field of anywhere from personal training to accounting prattle on about how they know the bride and groom is a total drag. Let’s keep it short. Make a toast, and let’s get on with it.

Bridesmaid Dresses That Need to Go

They are expensive. They are most likely hideous, and you never wear them again. Also, they are uniform. What if I have armpit fat and a tube top style dress doesn’t really work for my body type? Why are we putting those closest and dearest to us through this emotional turmoil? How about a color scheme? i.e. all my bridesmaids please wear a version of ____ color. Look how lovely that looks:

bridesmaids

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My Response: Just Kill Her Already – Millennial Women Respond to Adult Content…Take 1

by MONROKin Sex

Whether we like it or not, explicit film is a big part of our culture. Millennial women weigh in on their viewing experiences, responses and red hot opinions. Do you agree?

I’ll never forget the first porn I ever saw. It was called “Paradise Cove” and it was a softcore porn that took place in, well, Paradise Cove. I was 15 years old. Looking back, it all seemed so innocent. I was becoming a woman and I was curious. The scrambled porn, aol chat rooms, a/s/l? Discovering sexuality through good ol’ Windows 95.

Now if you want to watch something like Paradise Cove, you can just watch an episode of Showtime’s Shameless. Actual porn is horrifying, and feels wrong to watch. Gangbangs, violence, choking, slapping, it feels more like a horror movie than a way to relieve yourself. A friend was telling me about various sexual encounters of hers and how quickly men resort to spanking and choking as if it’s “the norm.” She said she went on one date and was making out with a guy and told him that she didn’t want to go any further and he seemed to understand but then suddenly took out his penis and ejaculated on her thigh as she sat there frozen in horror. WHAT IS GOING ON OUT THERE? Is this what our daughters are going to grow up expecting to tolerate?

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