What’s up with my surroundings?

Sometimes, the room does kill the vibe. Just because an opportunity presents itself doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of it. If anything feels off – the group you are with, the scent in the room, whatever – then don’t feel like you “have to” do anything.

If this philosophy had rules, which it doesn’t, but if it did, rules 1-5 would be “there is no ‘have to’ when it comes to sex.” Sex is about want, pure and simple. There are a lot of things that comprise the want to have sex, but when you’re acting with sexual purpose it’s all about the want.

What’s up with my partner?

This is the query that seems to most frequently jump the queue. We are so often preoccupied with how someone else is feeling or reacting that we don’t take the time to check in with ourselves. I cannot stress enough that this runs a solid third to checking in with yourself and your environment. The other person is important, but if you’re feeling great you can always go home and handle your business solo. You’re sexual prowess isn’t predicated on someone else. It’s about you.

It takes a lot for me to consider someone as a sexual partner. This isn’t “picky” or “finicky.” It’s specificity. When you’re in tune with what your body wants and how your surroundings make you feel, it’s surprisingly easy to let bullshit fall to the wayside and identify if an individual is really someone you want to be with sexually. I assure you, there are few qualities more attractive than the confidence of knowing yourself. Check in with your potential paramour and if they aren’t feeling it, well… that’s why God invented the personal massager.