Introducing LOVE TV

Welcome to Love TV —a new kind of media source designed to provocatively entertain, engage, and inspire you to enjoy more passionate and meaningful love, sex and intimacy. Whether you are currently single or attached, there is something for everyone here at Love TV.

We each have our own way of approaching, sharing and responding to LOVE. That’s why Love TV is offering diverse and interactive content to support you in expressing yourself fully and creating the LOVE lifestyle you truly want.

At Love TV, we are dedicated to providing you a channel that is not only sexy and fun, but also creating a world-wide ‘love revolution’ that will enrich and elevate LOVE, sex and intimacy as a whole new possibility!

Tune in to Love TV and allow yourself the freedom to explore and soar in love!

LOVE TV Uncovers Fifty Shades of Grey

Inspired by the massive popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey book and upcoming film, we decided it would be fun to launch our platform with a “50 Shades of Grey” theme.

When it comes to LOVE, sex, and intimacy, one size doesn’t fit all. The 50 Shades story and its immense popularity shows us that LOVE, sex, and intimacy can provoke and mean different things to different people.

At Love TV, we’re aware of differences, respecting where YOU as a lover find yourself – your dreams, desires and fantasies about love. We look forward to sharing 50 Shades themed content that will entertain and support you on your adventurous, self-revealing journey in LOVE.

This is just our starting point. Brace yourselves and strap in… there’s more provocation to come!

Fifty Shades of Christmas “Top 5 Sexy Toys” – LOVE TV Exclusive

Not all toys are for tots… the Clauses are game to ‘play’ as they celebrate the season and each other! ….but wait until you see what Santa ultimately wants as his best gift from Mrs. Claus!

This short video is a great reminder that though there are all kinds of ways to play as a couple, it’s important to remember what’s the real deal, at the holidays or anytime. Watch the video to find out!

Warning: For Adults 18+ Only (this is Santa like you’ve never seen him before!).

Puppy Love – LOVE TV Exclusive

Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

If you can’t judge a book by it’s cover, how are you supposed to judge certain bedroom activities without trying them? You’ll never know you won’t like something until you do it yourself, so take a cue from these pups and try something new. Go ahead, don’t be shy!

Fifty Shades of Ice Cream: Which Flavor Are You Craving? – LOVE TV EXCLUSIVE

When it comes to the bedroom, are you vanilla or chocolate?

It’s the age old dilemma: how do you pick a flavor of ice cream when there are so many to choose from? The good news is perhaps you don’t have to pick! Watch the 50 Shades of Ice Cream video to discover the best of all worlds. Vanilla and chocolate never tasted so good!

Announcing the Love TV Show

We’re excited to present the first episode of the LOVE TV Show, our new provocative look into current events and trends that broaden the conversation about love, sex and intimacy.

Is it possible to fall in love by just asking 36 questions?  Well Dr. Arthur Aaron thinks so!   His 1997 study from the State University of New York has bubbled up recently in a New York Times article on modern dating. This week we explore the 36 Questions that when posed to a pair of strangers are the stuff of cupid’s arrow.

More importantly, perhaps, might we have more power over who we love? Could these seemingly simple queries help existing couples or could they be used for platonic relationships as a bonding exercise? Check out the questions below, broken into two sets, and share your own conclusions in our comments.

      Set I

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
  9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?Set II
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  16. What do you value most in a friendship?
  17. What is your most treasured memory?
  18. What is your most terrible memory?
  19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  20. What does friendship mean to you?
  21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
  23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

    Set III
  25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
  26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
  27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
  28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
  29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
  32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

For more information and background on the study, check out

And if you’d like to check out the original, see below:


Prince Charming is Fired

Once upon a time there was a little girl who grew up surrounded by amazing female role models, was treated equally along side her brothers, had little to no ‘daddy issues’, excelled at school and was encouraged to follow her dreams. She grew up to be a strong, smart, confident woman who didn’t seem to have any problems with men. She seemed to be on track for a fairy tale kinda life.

In her 20s, things were going swimmingly. She was in a loving committed long-term relationship with a good man. She was doing what she loved and seeing the world whilst doing it. Boom!

Well, if she was honest with herself – as honest as one who has decided to write in the third person can be – it hadn’t been all roses.

In the tenth year of this relationship she looked about and realized she wasn’t really happy. She felt stuck. Trapped in her ‘castle’, if you will. She’d started to think things like ‘that’s what relationships are: hard work and compromise’. She wondered if she was even capable of being on her own. But the bottom line was she stopped seeing a future with this very good man. She had no idea when or how this happened, but it was her truth. She sat with it for a long time because you don’t just throw away ten good years on a whim.

In the end, she had to end it. It was the hardest thing she had ever done. It plunged her into a darkness that lasted a year or so. But deep in her heart she felt would find love again.

Slowly, she crawled out of the woods but ended up stumbling around in the relationship wilderness for what seemed like an eternity. There were numerous beginnings – each different and magical and full of potential – but nothing stuck. Each time she gave herself readily, eager for love and companionship, and each time – fizzle…

Being a reasonably self-aware sorta gal with a fondness for math analogies, she had to admit to herself that she was the common denominator here.  She was attracted to men who ultimately weren’t looking to be in a relationship.  But she continued to rule over The Kingdom of Singlehood because while she was aware of what she was doing, she seemed unable to cease.

Further insights came to her during her seven-year reign – ones to be shared in forthcoming tales – and she took solace in the fact that she was learning much about herself. But then came the kicker…

She can’t recall exactly how it came to her. She would love to mythologize the moment by saying it was during a particularly enlightened morning meditation but it was more likely birthed in the mundane action of scrubbing the bathtub, Cinderella style.

So here it is – the proverbial kiss to wake her from her slumber.

All this time, despite her being brought up to believe she could have, do and be anything a man could have, do and be, she had been waiting to be saved. She had been waiting for her knight in shining armor to swoop in and rescue her from her boring life. Waiting for someone to take her on adventures to other lands and make her their queen. Sure it looked like she was busy doing stuff – exciting stuff, even – but she would drop that in an instant to be swept up into someone else’s fabulous life.

It was an embarrassing truth to have uncovered. There was a torrent of tears and a tsunami of shame.  She, of all people, should know better than that. She who feared the damaging legacy fairy tales might have if told to her imaginary daughters. How could she let herself and all of womanhood down like that?

Whence the fog of self pity cleared, she had the clarity to say ‘Screw that! What exactly do I need saving from??’. The fact of the matter was her life was pretty darn good. She had lived in Sydney, London, Melbourne and now Los Angeles. She was still actively pursuing her youthful dreams. She had the most supportive, incredible  family and friends a girl could know. No more fantasy. No more living in wait.

Well, almost. She, of course, ran one last time into the arms of a jester who had been wooing her intermittently from afar with his words.  Someone with whom she had never lived in the same city but when they were visiting the same town – woah! But this was different ‘cos he had a soft spot for her adopted hometown and really, really wanted to live there too, so it was a possibility, right?

Needless to say, as the jester was from her murky past of picking unavailable men, she left their week-long dalliance devastated. Finally she saw what was actually in front of her. A complete fabrication. Once again, someone whom she had hoped would pluck her out of her life. She had a 14 hour flight to mentally compose the best ever ‘this is over’ email which she made real and pressed send upon her arrival home.

Twenty-four hours later, she met the man with whom she wants to spend the rest of her days. She is not naïve. She knows there will be ups and downs. The first few months of adjusting to sharing her kingdom was hella tough. (We’ll save that for another day.) And she also knows that so many other factors play into a fulfilling long-term relationship (again, other tales to share), not just deciding that holding out for a Prince, charming or otherwise, is a waste of a life.

But she is in love with a good man who is passionate, kind, supportive of her hopes and dreams and with whom she can be a goofball.

To Be Continued…

How to Date Today: A Guide for Every Generation

My mother is a baby boomer.  She’s from a different generation of ideas about love and dating- she was a virgin when she married my Dad, and in dating, she expects to be courted, with flowers and formal plans. Recently, she had a long-term boyfriend that my sisters and I talked her out of marrying, because although she didn’t really want to, that’s what she thought she was supposed to do.   

Mom: “But I’ve been seeing him for months, and everyone in town can see when his truck is parked outside my house!”

Sisters: “WHO CARES?  You don’t have to get married unless you really want to!”

Mom: “But I go to church!”

My middle sister and I are Gen-X.  We can remember dating in personal ads, when you would try to find someone with the same taste in movies and food and never see their face until the first date.  My sister was in an eight year relationship where she wore nothing but flannels and ironic baby tees.  We don’t have my mother’s reservations about living in sin- our generation has been known to live together for several presidential terms before considering marriage.

My baby sister is a Millennial.  Her generation has never dated without the internet.    All of their jobs involve social networking.  They do not seem to know how to have a relationship, even if they want one.  They only know how to hook up.  They don’t plan ahead for dates, when they have a free hour they see who’s around.  They say that they’ll fall in love with the perfect person, but they’re not sure who that is.  They are not allowed to have body hair.  And their dating style is ruining it for the rest of us. 

The single serving date phenomenon has become a big part of the dating experience, at least in big cities.  Once you’ve had one date, that person is suddenly in competition with everyone else in a twenty mile radius.  As it turns out, even LA is not as big as people think it is- every rock show I attend is full of one-date men I have to avoid eye contact with.   People are simply not being born or imported fast enough to be rejected by us!  The most popular breakup method is the “fade-away”, where after two or ten dates you slow, then eliminate contact.  It’s not just people in their twenties and thirties- I went on a couple dates with a fifty year old man whose longest relationship was shorter than his Audi lease, and he felt that this was extremely normal.

Young Couple Kissing In Restaurant

So far, I have had 50 first dates on OK Cupid and have had three relationships.  Some people were looking for relationships and some were not, and those aren’t terrible numbers, but now that my Mom is in the game, she calls me to crow about her account. 

“I have three dates this week, and your sisters don’t have any!”  I told her I was very proud that she was the hot piece of action in our family.

Missionary Sex: Why It’s the Unsung Hero of Lovemaking

The Missionary Position has gotten a bad rep among the human race and I can’t determine why exactly. Could it be the confusing religious connotations of the name and the god-fearing history behind it? Could it be simply personal preference? Could it be that it reminds us of juvenile, inexperienced, naive love? When we couldn’t locate the clitoris if our lives depended on it and we had to keep our moaning to a whisper because our parents were sleeping down the hall. When our orgasms were ultra mysterious, in the sense that we had no idea what triggered them or how to hit that invisible button.

Whatever the reason, it is a common held belief that missionary is rather uninventive. Unoriginal. Uninspired. Unappealing. Unsexy. Unfun. Some think it’s the dullest way for two individuals to climax into ecstasy together. In my early romps of youth, I was told by many a compadre to “spice things up” in the boudoir. “You can’t just keep doing missionary forever. There are so many BETTER positions out there”, they would proclaim loudly with large, erotic gestures. I was intrigued by these “better positions” they spoke of and hoped the new, glamorous internet would lead me to dangerous, mind-blowing, Cruel Intentions level intercourse.

I turned on my desktop and discovered a smorgasbord of positions that looked highly titillating and highly awkward. I wrote them on a notepad and began to check them off one by one as I experimented with sexual partner(s). But to my dismay none of ‘em did the trick for me. Sure, a few were enjoyable enough. Even pleasurable and I could definitely partake in them for a period of ten minutes straight without discomfort. But I couldn’t find a replacement favourite. No matter how hard I tried I kept coming back to old, reliable horizontal body on top of horizontal body. That was six years ago and it continues to be my position of choice today. I will defend that style of quote unquote, uninventive, unoriginal, uninspired, unappealing, unsexy, unfun lovemaking until the minute that I die. I think missionary is the bees knees and there is nothing wrong with that.

But even though I’m confident in my opinions, I often get asked “WHY?” by friends when I reveal this information about myself. It perplexes certain folks, so, I’d like to state, for the record, WHY indeed missionary is my beloved number one.

Couple having sex, female hand grabbing sheet

The Eye Contact

I found in my experimentation days of yonder that the majority of naughty, wild, contortionist movements lacked face to face action. There was a good deal of back to chest action. Butt to crotch action. Head to foot action. But our eyelashes were rarely having a party. And that was unfortunate ‘cause I prefer to be able to look deep into the pupils of my lovah always and forever. Eyes are hot, baby. What can I say?

The Body Contact

Another feature of the “popular with high school students” position is that the bulk of your skins are rubbing up against each other a whole heck of a lot. Doggy style is a remotely okay time but I feel super distant from the person thrusting and holding my hips from behind. I’m more present and I find that my partner is more present because I’m more present when our whole bods are in mega close proximity to each other and our gross sweat blends into one stinky puddle.

The Clit Contact

I have read that there are superior places to put your pieces for clitoris stimulation but me lying flat on my back with my legs wrapped around the gentleman I am coitusing gets my clit buzzing like nothing else (other than cunnilingus of course – technically my favourite position is a man’s face in my vulva). I don’t orgasm via penetration but the moments I have gotten the closest have consistently been due to the “work of the lord” aka MISSIONARY, HELLO.

The Emotional Contact

And with eyes and bodices and clits comes the overflow of brain feels and oxytocin bonding between my head and the individual on top of me’s head. Intercourse is an intimate experience for moi, as it is for a hefty portion of the population, and when affection levels are tall my hormonal bliss levels are equally as tall. I’m not saying non-missionary-fornifcation can’t be emotional, but for me, my heart beats stronger and louder when I’m doing it like I’m sun tanning on a beach and the beach is my bed and the sun is a penis.

Lusty Couple In Bed

The Hugging Contact

I adore the sensation of orgasming and making others orgasm. When that occurs in missionary I can proceed to canoodle, embrace, and lock post-sex arms (more noodle like than regular arms). This can be achieved with some adjusting in other positions but it will take a minute or two to arrive at your destination. I prefer immediacy with my exhausted, extremely content, grateful after-copulation cuddling. That’s kinda the best part in my opinion so let’s get to it already.

Flow Contact

Ballet classes gave me trouble as a tween and my rhythm continues to be off today. When my muscles are doing junk that they were not designed to do my whole body goes into shock. You might be capable of putting this there and sticking that here and I honestly applaud you. I am impressed because that is not a possibility in my realm. I am comfortable in missionary and with comfortability comes excellent flow. And with excellent flow comes me being in rhythmic sync with the sentient creature inside me.

Experimentation Contact

I know. I have denounced experimentation this entire time BUT I am truly not against it in the least. Thing is, you can do research and development WITHIN mish (abbreviation for the non-with-it peeps). Your legs can go up, your arms can go back, and your butt can levitate off the duvet. Just because it seems plain Jane, doesn’t mean Jane can’t let loose on the weekends or the weekdays or holidays or days that only exist in leap years. Jane can toss her leg behind her head like she’s a professional gymnist or somethin’ whenever she wants.

I rest my case. Missionary FTW, y’all.


5 Clues He’s Worth Keeping

He has a dog/wants a dog/LOVES DOGS.

Having a dog tells you two things about a guy:

A. He is responsible.

B. He cares about something other than himself.

These are great qualities to look for in a guy. A dog is a responsibility. You can’t stay out for days partying when you have this level of commitment. There is someone at home that needs you. If you have the ability to love and care for an animal, you are most likely a kind and loving person. I have always said that there is no such thing as a “dog person,” there are people that love dogs, there are people that grow to love dogs once they’ve been exposed, and then there are cat people. On the real though, even if he has a cat, it’s cool, as long as it’s not more than one.

He calls his parents.

I don’t mean e-mailing, or texting, I mean ACTUAL CALLING. He talks to his parents. They know what’s going on with him. He has a vested interest in their well being. Do not confuse this with momma’s boys. If he is talking to his mother 10 times a day, that is NOT a good sign and will most likely translate into him putting his mother’s wishes before yours. Just someone that checks in with his parents to make sure everything’s all good in the family.

Portrait of young couple in love at a coffee shop boyfriend wipi

He treats all women the same. (NOT BADLY)

If a guy walks you to your car, he is a gentleman. If he walks your friend to their car, he is a keeper. Of course I mean he is doing this in a friendly manner, and not trying to get their number. Look for the man that treats their mother, sister, and you with the same amount of respect.

Your friends like him.

I don’t care if he’s “different when you’re alone” or “you guys don’t get it – I LOVE HIM, YOU SHOULD TOO.” If you are dating someone that your friends and family do not like (and it’s not because they’re being racist), chances are he is probably NOT A GOOD GUY. You are lying to yourself. If you find yourself constantly making excuses for his behavior, you are really making excuses for your choices. Make the choice to leave and do better.

He doesn’t leave the seat up.

Ok, this one might seem a little trivial, but what I mean to say is, he is considerate. Considerate of your feelings, your time, and your day-to-day routine is pivotal to secure a happy partner. If he’s ignoring your needs or putting his own needs first, that shows a basic lack of respect. So if he is unable to do such a small thing for you, chances are he won’t measure up when things get real. What if he has to pick up the kids unexpectedly or god forbid change a diaper, how do you think he will handle it? The least he can do is make sure you don’t take a bath in toilet water at 3am.

back view of young couple walking in farm road

April’s #SexyResolution: Bring Your A-Game to Sex

Just a reminder, we kicked off the year by enhancing your love life in 2015 with #SexyResolutions from LOVE TV. Follow these sexy lover resolutions and become more open, curious, powerful, and maximize your bliss for a happy, healthy, sexy and loving new year!

This April, make it your #SexyResolution to bring your A-game to love and sex. Here are your action steps:

1. Shut off your phone

2. Show Up with Respect

3. Bring Diversity to Your Engagements

Domestic Relief

On the eve of Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend sent me a message containing those magical words that every woman longs to hear: ‘don’t worry love, I’ve already got the milk.’

Simple words. Romantic words. Words akin to: ‘you just stay in bed’ and ‘but I love putting the seat down’ and ‘here’s an idea, why don’t I do both our tax returns’. (I’ve never had to do a tax return, but can imagine that someone offering to do it for me would feel like the most solicitous of marriage proposals.)

When I got this text I was driving home through London traffic having just completed a gruelling 12-hour shift. The thought of stopping to buy milk had been tormenting me ever since I noticed we were out first thing this morning. In the intervening hours I had decided that my boyfriend never bought milk, or bread, or did anything around the house for that matter, and that I might as well just end it (and him) (and me while I was at it) right now, because what future could we possibly have together?  In fact, he’d already got the milk. And so our relationship was saved.

We didn’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day, but as good fortune would have it, the boy chose this of all days to clean the bathroom (N.B. it was definitely his turn). I found him kneeling over the bathtub wearing nothing but marigolds and a pair of long johns, and was overcome with desire. Refreshed after a solid night’s sleep, I interrupted him mid-scrub and lured him back to bed, where we spent a lazy morning making each other feel 100% loved. Happy February 14!

Couple drinking champagne in bathtub.

Combined, these experiences made me feel as though I’d had the most romantic Valentine’s Day of my life. From this, you might infer that I have unusually low standards. Not so. In the past, I’ve been whisked off to Barcelona, punted down the River Cam (not a euphemism), and given the entire Sex and the City Box Set, a romantic gift if only for the personal sacrifice it represented. But to this tired midwife, my boyfriend’s lightening of the domestic load constituted the greatest gift of all.

I discussed this with my big sister who knows everything and is always right. She agreed it’s good to have a partner who is handy around the house. ‘But,’ she added, ‘if there are things they can’t do, you can always remove the issue altogether’. Here, she was talking about washing up; specifically, her husband’s inability to do it. Throughout the early, impoverished years of their relationship, his bad washing up was an endless sticking point. Then, they hit the big time (i.e. qualified as teachers) and could afford a dishwasher. Today, thanks to this common household appliance, happiness reigns: while terrible at washing up, the husband is a mean stacker. Vive la domestic revolution!

For the busy grown up, it is undoubtedly a treat to have one less thing to do. But, as far as those squishy love feelings go, it’s about so much more than that. In my experience, the nurturing love that – if we’re lucky – we receive from our parents comes along rarely in a romantic form. It is a great thing to be with someone who can put your needs before their own; it is joyous thing to be with someone who actually seems to enjoy doing it.

young couple painting baby nursery in new home pink

My boyfriend is far from perfect (he has an uncanny knack of getting rubber gloves wet on the inside), and he is more than capable of looking out for himself. But on a good day, through a multitude of gestures, he makes me feel infinitely cared for. This makes me want to care for him in return. In this way, we waste little energy on resentment.

In my 20s, love was an ego-fuelled rollercoaster ride of fulfilled then thwarted wants. In my 30s, it is a coffee pressed into my hand made with milk that I didn’t have to buy. And I’m fine with that.

Written by Midwife X


Lubing Up Your Relationship: 5 Steps For Better Communication

We’ve all been there–unexpected friction, dryness, and chafing, preventing us and our significant other from reaching completion. We can try to push through, hoping that mere effort will win the day. We can give up, hoping that the same problem won’t plague us on our next attempt. Or we can take action by applying a restorative balm and rescuing ourselves from discomfort and failure.

While the above could certainly refer to the physical act of lovemaking, it also applies to the less salacious aspects of a relationship as well.  Communication is the non-sexual lubricant that every romantic partnership needs to flourish.

Naturally, not all communication is created equal. Just like sticky drugstore lube is no match for a designer water-based brand, some communication will set your relationship back rather than helping you and your partner to grow and flourish together.

Here are some tips to keep your communication–and your relationship–silky smooth.

Keep Communication Smooth

In our hyper-connected world, sometimes it can be tough to make sure you’re making time for high-quality, in-person communication with your partner. If your communication has dwindled to a few pleasantries over breakfast, an occasional flurry of daytime texts, and a couple of exhausted attempts to chat before bed, it may be time to reconsider your approach. Set aside a special “date night” every week and pledge not to look at your phone—you’ll be surprised how much you still have to talk about! Alternatively, set up a short weekly “check-in” with your partner to make sure you’re communicating about household issues, personal growth and work goals, and see how that impacts the amount of communication you have with each other throughout the day. If time is an issue, look for activities you can do together to maximize your opportunity to chat—exercise, cook a meal, take a class.

young man in leather jacket is whispering something to his lover

Honesty Lubrication

Whether you’re discussing pop culture, division of household duties, or finances, it’s always a good idea to be truthful. This establishes a baseline of trust and accountability between partners, and in addition, eliminates potential sources for conflict before they arise. If you and your other half have different communication styles, acknowledge this openly, and figure out ways you can both feel heard, but still comfortable.

Glide into kindness

When you and your partner first started dating, it’s likely that you both let compliments fly fast and furious. However, it’s easy to forget how good it feels to give and receive compliments once the initial rush of a new relationship has worn off and both partners get caught up in the grind of daily life. A simple “hey, handsome” or comment about an attractive outfit can go a long way to injecting some fun back into the relationship, and praise for a job well-done, whether it’s mopping the floor or closing a deal at work, is always a boost.

Keep Language Smooth

What you may think of as a playful joke may come across to your partner as a thoughtless comment or worse, a harsh criticism. Keep an eye out for unexpected reactions and be proactive in asking whether or not you’ve said something to upset your partner. This is a two way street—if you’re on the receiving end of not-so-nice behavior, make sure your partner knows how you feel so you can work toward interactions that make everyone happy.

Couple beauty sexy lovers talk in bed isolated

Soothing the Rough Edges

All couples experience disagreements, arguments, and fights, but the couples who stay together approach these difficult times as opportunities for growth rather than a death knell for the relationship. If emotions are running high, don’t be afraid to ask for a temporary “cease fire” so everyone can calm down and think more rationally about how to solve the problem.  Find ways to balance negative feedback with positive and enter into any discussion willing to accept constructive criticism as well as dishing it out. If you can’t get on the same page as your partner on an important issue, consider seeking counseling—sometimes a neutral, third party can ease the way to a resolution.

When in doubt, just remind yourself: the couple that talks together stays together!

Shh-do you Sext?

By Susanna Lee

I love sexting.  Honestly, no sarcasm, I absolutely love it.  Nothing happening on my phone makes me nearly as happy as getting some late night sexts from someone I love.  Ah, who am I kidding?  I love sexting anytime, day or night.  If sexts were food, I’d eat them until my stomach burst.  If sexts were a pair of jeans, I’d wear them until they fell apart at the seams.  If sexts were a…well, I can’t think of another cute analogy, but I think you get the idea. Those naughty little things make me tingle, and let me know that I’m on your mind in a very specific way, even when I’m not right in front of your face.  They convey desire, and we all like the feeling of being wanted.   Maybe its willful ignorance, but I just can’t understand why everyone doesn’t love them.

One of my closest friends hates sexting, so I asked why.  She said “It’s just creepy.”  To which I asked, “Even with someone you’re seeing?   How is it creepy to say sexy things to someone whose genitals you’ve had in your mouth?”   Then she got honest and to the heart of the matter, “Okay, fine, maybe it’s not creepy, per se, but I’m just not good at it and I don’t want to look like a moron.  I mean what if I say something dumb, and he shows his friends?”  And there it is.  There’s a difference between really disliking something, and just shying away from it out of fear of novice status embarrassment.   Sexting is like any other skill set, it takes dedication and practice to master.  I want to help you find more confidence in your sexting game, so you can relax and really enjoy it, and I’ve put together a few cheat codes to take some of the time off your learning curve.  The visual aids are re-creations of my own most glorious sexting mishaps, to illustrate the points made.

1. Warning shot before beaver shot!   Always, and I mean ALWAYS, send a words-only text first, in order to gauge the appropriateness of your lover’s situation before sending out those rockin’ tits.  I’m not saying don’t send a hot shot to someone at Sunday mass (in fact, I would encourage it), but you don’t want to send a sexy surprise to someone who’s in the middle of getting fired.  Or just had an accident, or at a funeral, etc… Avoid creating a negative association.  You don’t want your lover to think about getting rear ended by someone without insurance every time he or she sees your hot ass.

2. K.I.S.S.   Keep it sexy, silly!   You wouldn’t interrupt in-the-flesh sex to ask about dinner with your parents on Thursday, don’t do it via sext either.  Finish what you’ve started, then worry about stuff that happens fully clothed.   Also involved in keeping things hot is the language you choose to use.  A little babytalk, uttered in a sexy voice with some bats of the eyelashes may be your thing in the actual bedroom, but tone does not transfer to text.  In text, your widdle, teeny puss-puss is a big, giant bonerkiller (as that specific phrase would be in real life, too, I just couldn’t think of another because I’m not a babytalker).  If you don’t like the words commonly used for body parts, do a tiny bit of research and find ones you can use without cringing.  Watch kink, read erotica, even Google it, but use adult words for adult things.   Also, don’t put pressure on yourself to reinvent the wheel with sexting.  You don’t have to say something to them that no one’s ever said before; they aren’t grading you, or judging you on your originality, so relax, and keep the mood more Barry White than Buffalo Bill.  Also, allow for typos, no one wants to sext with a spelling/grammar diva.  Give your sweetheart a break, it’s very challenging to text with one hand and not much blood going to the brain.

3. Brevity is the soul of slit.  Send short enough texts that they can be read without extensive scrolling, or being broken up into multiple clumps.  We all know that iPhone to Android (and vice versa) texts won’t be one smooth message bubble, and sometimes they arrive out of order.  That builds frustration, not heat.

Morning. Cute woman in the bed with mobile phone

4. Patience, Grasshopper…  After you send that pic, allow time for the recipient to *fully appreciate* it.  There is a definite vulnerability that comes along with sexting, so it’s easy to freak out and imagine the worst when you send a for-your-eyes-only pic and don’t immediately hear back.  The minutes feel like hours, and the imagination can be quick to turn your sweet beloved into a villain out to do no good, forwarding your nudie pic to everyone in their phone.   They aren’t.  They are looking at your picture while they do things to themselves that they wish you were there to do.  Bigger picture advice though: Don’t sext (or sex) someone you don’t trust.

5. Check your recipient, check again, and then, check again, again.  No explanation needed.

All tips aside, here’s the bottom line:  In sexting, as with tactile sex, the hottest thing you can do is enjoy yourself without inhibition.  Your partner does not care about perfection, I promise.  They aren’t focused on your typos.  So stop worrying, put on your big-girl panties (or take them off, rather) and hit send.