How to Talk to Your Partner about Sex

January is the Month to Have More Open Conversations About Sex, so how do you start that conversation with your partner? Talking is a key to having great sex and improving your love life, but it can be difficult when you’ve never opened up about it before. You need not worry though, these five helpful tips will help both you and your partner get everything you want out of the bedroom and give you a great, sexy start to 2015!

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8 Sex Conversations Every Couple Must Have

This January, we’re focusing on having more open conversations about sex, but what should you and your partner talk about? Here are 8 essential conversations about sex that every couple should have to guarantee the most pleasure, love, and intimacy during 2015!

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What other topics would you add to the list?

7 Ways Grownups Can Talk About Sex

We’ve spent the last few weeks talking about the best ways to fulfill our January #SexyResolution to have more open conversations about sex with your partner, but we know that sometimes starting that conversation can be difficult. These 7 tips for how to talk to your partner about having sex are sure to get you talking and help improve your relationship, build intimacy, and give you both the best possible time between the sheets!

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Tips for Communicating With Your Partner About Sex

Sexual communication is often one of the more challenging aspects of a relationship. However, people are not always equipped with the vocabulary they need to express themselves.
There are three common roadblocks to healthy communication about sex. Often, people are have a hard time navigating formal terms and sexual slang. But you shouldn’t laugh if your partner uses a term that seems silly to you; to them, it may be the easiest way to discuss a potentially uncomfortable subject.

Negative or shameful feelings about sex may also contribute to a lack of communication. You may enjoy a more fulfilling sex life if you feel less guilty about what turns you on sexually. A third sexual communication roadblock is fear of hurting someone else’s feelings. If a person believes that they are a good lover, they may react negatively to a critique or suggestion.

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5 Ways to Get the Sexy Back in Your Marriage

There’s a commonly held belief that sex in marriage is boring and predictable, but the truth is, it can be as exciting as you want it to be! With Valentine’s Day fast approaching try these 5 tips for spicing up your normal routine and adding a little adventure in the bedroom!

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6 Ways to Seduce Your Spouse on Valentine’s Day

If you’re worried this year’s Valentine’s Day will just be a repeat of every other year with your spouse, then we have a list for you. There’s no reason the two of you can’t make the most of the day and spice things up to celebrate your love. These 6 tips will help you stay curious and give you and your partner a whole new perspective on Valentine’s Day!

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How Men Can Succeed in the Boardroom and the Bedroom

IT’S easy to see how women benefit from equality — more leadership positions, better pay at work and more support at home. Men may fear that as women do better, they will do worse. But the surprising truth is that equality is good for men, too.

If men want to make their work teams successful, one of the best steps they can take is to bring on more women. This fall, the Internet sensation Alibaba went public after achieving years of extraordinary growth as China’s largest e-commerce company. The founder, Jack Ma, explained that “one of the secret sauces for Alibaba’s success is that we have a lot of women.” Women hold 47 percent of all jobs at Alibaba and 33 percent of senior positions.

Research backs him up. Studies reveal that women bring new knowledge, skills and networks to the table, take fewer unnecessary risks, and are more inclined to contribute in ways that make their teams and organizations better. Successful venture-backed start-ups have more than double the median proportion of female executives of failed ones. And an analysis of the 1,500 Standard & Poor’s companies over 15 years demonstrated that, when firms pursued innovation, the more women they had in top management, the more market value they generated.

Some men might wonder whether these benefits for the organization, and for women, might come at their individual expense, and ask, will I end up lower on the corporate ladder?

No. Equality is not a zero-sum game. More profits mean more rewards and promotions to go around. The risk is in not including women. Teams that fail to leverage the skills of a diverse work force fall behind. Two chief executives, John T. Chambers of Cisco, and Carlos Ghosn of the Renault-Nissan Alliance, have said that they can’t be competitive in the global economy without increasing their percentage of female executives.

In a previous article, we highlighted why men ought to share the “office housework” — taking notes, planning meetings and helping others. Doing more actual housework matters, too. Research shows that when men do their share of chores, their partners are happier and less depressed, conflicts are fewer, and divorce rates are lower. They live longer, too; studies demonstrate that there’s a longevity boost for men (and women) who provide care and emotional support to their partners later in life.


If that isn’t exciting enough, try this: Couples who share chores equally have more sex. As the researchers Constance T. Gager and Scott T. Yabiku put it, men and women who work hard play hard. One of us, Sheryl, has advised men that if they want to do something nice for their partners, instead of buying flowers, they should do laundry. A man who heard this was asked by his wife one night to do a load of laundry. He picked up the basket and asked hopefully, “Is this Lean In laundry?” Choreplay is real.

Stepping up as a father also benefits men. Caring for children can make men more patient, empathetic and flexible and lower their rates of substance abuse. At Fortune 500 companies, when fathers spend more time with their children, they’re more satisfied with their jobs. And fatherhood itself has also been linked to lower blood pressure and lower rates of cardiovascular disease.

But the greatest positive impact may be on the next generation. Research in numerous countries reveals that children of involved fathers are healthier, happier and less likely to have behavioral problems. They are also more likely to succeed in school and, later, in their careers. A powerful study led by the University of British Columbia psychologist Alyssa Croft showed that when fathers shouldered an equal share of housework, their daughters were less likely to limit their aspirations to stereotypically female occupations. What mattered most was what fathers did, not what they said. For a girl to believe she has the same opportunities as boys, it makes a big difference to see Dad doing the dishes.

The flip side is true, too — sons reap rewards when their mothers have meaningful roles at work. Years ago, psychologists found that a surprisingly high number of America’s most creative architects were raised by “distinctly autonomous mothers” who were leaders in their communities or accomplished professionals. And in a recent study by the researchers Kathryn H. Dekas of Google and Wayne E. Baker of the University of Michigan, the people who found their jobs most meaningful and enjoyable were those whose fathers and mothers were highly engaged at work.

When children see their mothers pursuing careers and their fathers doing housework, they’re more likely to carry gender equality forward to the next generation. And when we make headway toward gender equality, entire societies prosper. Twenty-five percent of United States gross domestic product growth since 1970 is attributed to the increase in women entering the paid work force. Today, economists estimate that raising women’s participation in the work force to the same level as men could raise G.D.P. by another 5 percent in the United States — and by 9 percent in Japan and 34 percent in Egypt. “We’ve seen what can be accomplished when we use 50 percent of our human capacity,” writes the investor Warren Buffett. “If you visualize what 100 percent can do, you’ll join me as an unbridled optimist about America’s future.”

To make gender parity a reality, we need to change the way we advocate for it. The usual focus is on fairness: To achieve justice, we need to give women equal opportunities. We need to go further and articulate why equality is not just the right thing to do for women but the desirable thing for us all.

The women’s suffrage movement in the late 19th century provides a good case study. States did not grant voting rights when women campaigned for justice; suffrage laws got passed only when women described how having the right to vote would enable them to improve society. Similarly, during the civil rights movement, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was careful to emphasize that racial equality would be good for everyone.

Many men who support equality hold back because they worry it’s not their battle to fight. It’s time for men and women alike to join forces in championing gender parity. Tell us how you’re leaning in for equality in the comments section here or on Facebook using the hashtag #leanintogether.

Curated by Karinna

Original Article

7 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Sexy

We’ll say it: After you’ve been with your S.O. for a fair amount of time, the glow wears off just a bit. You no longer feel like jumping him wherever there’s a flat surface and your sex life isn’t always super-steamy.

If you’re not careful, the word “monogamy” will eventually become synonymous with “ho-hum.” But, that doesn’t have to happen! There are totally ways to keep the fire o’ love burning for a very long while. The fine people at Men’s Health and Women’s Health have a few fabulous tips to make lust last in their “Big Book of Sex.” Here, we let you in on some of our favorites.

1. Rent a chick flick. Fun fact: Movies that are heavy on the romance raise levels of oxytocin, otherwise known as “the snuggle hormone.” A good rom-com will set the mood for a cozy, love-filled evening. Oh, and research from Kansas University shows that men love a good, sappy film, as well—not just the ladies. So, by all means, pop in “The Notebook!”

2. Don’t just say, “I love you.” It’s important to verbalize your feelings in other ways, too. A quick “Love you” as he’s headed out the door, or even before you hang up the phone, makes the phrase become a bit insignificant. Instead, show him your affection by using other words. Terms of endearment like “Honey” or “Sweetie” have the same connotation of affection. Also, let him know how much his gestures mean to you: “Thanks so much for filling up my gas tank yesterday. I really appreciated it.”

3. Change locations for making love. Mix it up. There is no designated area for getting it on, so why restrict yourself to the bedroom? Use the mirrors while getting hot and heavy in the bathroom, or even have a little outdoor sex—a whopping four out of five people surveyed said they’ve always wanted to try it. Um, what are y’all waiting for?

passionate young african couple kissing

4. Make out. Keep it simple and sweet, like you did when you were but a young teen. Restrict yourselves to 10 minutes of kissing only—with clothes on. Then, feel free to act more adult-like after you’ve set the mood. A hot make-out session will lead to even hotter sex.

5. Schedule sex. We’ve all been trained that you have to “be in the mood” to turn up the heat. That’s actually not true. Fooling around will get you in the mood, so feel free to set aside a place in your schedule just for you and your man. Everyone is busy, so it’s essential to create time for your sex life. It will keep you both happy and fulfilled.

6. Be open about your desires. A committed relationship is the one place you should be able to share your deepest secrets without fear of judgment or embarrassment. Have open conversations with your guy about any hot fantasies, let him do the same, then work together on making them happen. That way, you’ll both be satisfied between the sheets.

7. Have maintenance sex. It may sound less than appealing to get busy after a long day at work while the TV screams in the background, but frequent, run-of-the-mill sex is still that—sex. And it’s an important element for keeping the love alive. As Dr. Gina Ogden said: “This is the kind of sex that connects you and reaffirms your bond as a couple.” And that’s what you have to do, every day, to remain in love and in lust.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article


10 Ways to Get More Intimate With Your Partner

Honesty and communication make up the foundation for a healthy relationship. But, what exactly does it take to achieve these things? According to certified Sexologist Jaiya Hanauer, there are 10 important ways to build intimacy and make a deeper connection with your partner.


The eyes are the doorways to a connected sex life. Although it may feel a little funny at first, making eye contact during sex tells your partner that all your attention is on him. It builds trust, which ultimately leads to a stronger sexual and emotional bond.


Touching each other throughout the day builds longing for each other. Massaging, stroking, and caressing all produces oxytocin, which is the bonding chemical. To build a deeper connection, try touching each other without having sex. Build up the tension for a few days to make your next intimate an explosive encounter.


We do it automatically everyday but most of us don’t realize that breathing is a way to heighten pleasure and arousal. When you breathe deeper, you bring more oxygen into the body, which allows you to be aroused at greater heights. Alternating your breath as you breathe into each other’s mouths is an intimate exercise that has been used in ancient traditions as a way to share the soul.

Side view of passionate young couple embracing in bedroom


The simple act of sending a sweet text message or complimenting your lover can send blood rushing into the genitals. Not only does it build anticipation, but will also keep your partner thinking about you all day.


Nothing breaks the mood like cell phones blaring and clutter all over your bedroom. Set the scene for intimacy with sensual music, candles, clean sheets and a shift in environment. Don’t limit intimacy to the bedroom only, you can also create a stage for an encore performance in the living room or kitchen. Think of sex as a theatrical piece—you need the right lighting, right mood and sets. Stimulating your creativity as you prepare actually stimulates the sexual drive.


Taking the time out to do things for your lover that shows that you care and respect his feelings is very important. Plan to go to his favorite restaurant, run a simple errand for him or cook him an exquisite meal. Doing something for him out of the blue will surely increase the love he has for you.


Many couples get into patterns when it comes to sex. To break free of the bedroom doldrums, do something adventurous. Take a class together at a sex boutique, go skydiving or do something else that you have never done in bed before, but have always wanted to try.

Attractive Girls Petting


Creating a romantic dinner together with specific foods can actually form deeper bonds. Chocolate, for example, contains the chemical Phenethylamine (PEA) which is responsible for the feeling of being in love. Avocados boost both the male and female libido.


Using your imagination always gives a great boost to your sex life. If you consciously take on a fantasy role in the bedroom, the level of intimacy is heightened when you come back to your more traditional roles in the relationship. Try role-playing as an erotic masseuse and client or as a captor and captive.


In today’s world, women are becoming stronger than ever and it takes a lot to let down our guards, especially if we’ve been hurt before. But, letting the walls around you melt and allowing your partner to penetrate you emotionally and physically are some of the best things you can do in a relationship. Share your deepest feelings with him and allow him to get to know all the different facets of your personality.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article


Guy-Approved Seduction Tips

Seduce the right guy, the right way.

Men are simple creatures. Women spend much more time pondering our desires and motivations than  than we do, but nobody said we don’t value introspection. Women want to know what men want, and men—when plied with alcohol—want to tell them. So armed with a pen and an open bar tab, I set out to find the information that will help you snag your man.

First, know what you’re after. More and more women are holding off on relationships—at least for a while—and, like countless men before them, complaining that they can’t get no satisfaction. Emphasis on ‘action.’ So the first question I posed to the motley mass: “What should a woman do to get your interest if they want to sleep with you?”

“Just say hello!”

“Ask us to buy you a beer.”

“Stick your hand on my crotch.”

“Dress slutty, and take off your shirt.”

What can I say? We’re a shallow lot. The truth is, if you want to seduce a man into bed with you and he doesn’t have what he thinks is a “better” option, you just have to lay it out there. Alcohol helps. Ugly, I know.

But seducing for life is another matter. “Men, instinctually, gotta hunt,” says Bechir, 26, “and what we hunt is hot women. But every man doesn’t see ‘hot’ the same way.”

Just like we wouldn’t use a monkey wrench to put up drywall, you’ll need different tools depending on what kind of guy you’re trying to land. So tip number two? Know your audience. A primer:

The Baller
The Guy: Whether he loves football or baseball, basketball or soccer or rugby, his dream girl is a sexy, fun, low-maintenance, bust-open-a-beer cheerleader for “Team Him.” He loves the gym, loves sports, and will wear his team’s jerseys to your grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary party.

The Approach: In his mind, he’s a big league athlete, so compliment his physique, and be specific (“You have great triceps”). He spends time on this, and he’ll be psyched you noticed. Lots of  arm-touching and bicep squeezing is good; make him feel strong (Hint: We love it when you say, “Can you open this?”) Drink a beer, not a martini, and ask him to play a game of darts or pool. Even if you suck, he’ll love teaching you the game. It’s also a great place for physical contact. “And ask him if he ever played sports,” said Mark, 31, to grunts of approval all around. “We love that.”

The Warning: You may always play second fiddle to the gym or his favorite sports team, and Sunday afternoon could be really frustrating for you. If he doesn’t give up Sunday afternoon orMonday Night Football for you when you’re dating, he  never will. Kids won’t change it either; he’ll want to teach them to love the Jets/Bulls/Yankees as much as he does.

The Big Daddy
The Guy: This guy doesn’t just think of himself as a man, he thinks of himself as The Man, and you should, too. He loves women, but not in the most modern, equality-driven way, and he wants his girlfriend (or wife) to be sexy.

The Approach: Be hot, but don’t dress in the “screw-me” dress or that’s all you’ll get. “It’s all about the first look,” says Bechir, “an outfit that compliments you best feature: breasts, ass, legs, whatever you got. Look good with just a hint of ‘freak’ that might be his later. This is a dog, give him a little bone!”   Let him talk about himself, because this guy values a supportive woman more than an intellectual one. “I want a loyal woman who is gonna take care of me when it counts ,” says Hector, 27, “the kitchen and the bedroom.” Two guys high-five behind him, but I look a little uncomfortable until Hector’s friend jumps in: “Cook him dinner! If you cook like his mom, you’re in!”

Warning: Cook like his mom, but don’t smell like his mom. Find a unique perfume that smells all-girl. And most importantly, don’t confuse “supportive” with “vapid.” Make jokes, show some spirit, and don’t overdo it. If there’s a small something you don’t like about him, don’t lie; turn it into a positive. If he’s pudgy, call him your “pudgy bear.” Then have crazy sex with him.

The Nerd
The Guy: Forget coy smiles from across the bar; this guy won’t approach you. In his mind he’s still the skinny dork standing on the sidelines of the school dance.

The Approach: Chum it up. Laugh at his jokes, don’t wear make-up, be a dork. It’s cool with him. This is a good guy who want a real girl. Also, comment on how smart he is. He thinks his brain is his best feature, so make it seem sexy. And use the following phrase: “You are really cute, I love your (insert desirable quality here).” He’ll fall all over himself if he thinks you might give him the rock-star sex that he spends good money to watch on the internet. But be careful: these guys make great best friends, but move from “buddy” to “relationship” quickly or you could slip into the “best-friend-with benefits” zone.

Warning: These guys usually have a hobby or interest you don’t understand–RPG’s, Lord of the Rings obsessions, Fantasy Football, whatever. Don’t mock it.. If you don’t get it, fine. Just be supportive. If you happen to love it, too, then dress up in Star Trek outfits and role-play your way to Geek Love.

The Bad Boy
The Guy: Hot, interesting, mysterious and full of possibilities… the ultimate diamond in the rough. This guy is unpredictable, and no matter how many times he forgets to call or  issues last minute invitations, there is a certain brilliance and sensitivity and excitement about him. Or so you say.

Approach: “If you’re hot enough or I have nothing better, you’re in,” says Marco, 23, who claims he ‘really means well every time [he] screws up.’ Be interested, fun and up for anything, but not needy. In fact, don’t need anything, because you won’t get it. This is all about him, and if you’re open to adventure and don’t mind clutching coat tails, he’ll be happy to take you for a wild ride.

Warning: He is never going to change. You won’t fix him. He will crush your heart into pieces, and then snort them up his nose. If you still want to pursue him, go into your room and draw a map of where you’re about to hide your self-esteem, because you won’t be able to find it later.

Despite their differences, there was one thing that all the men agreed upon: If you have goals for a guy beyond the end of the evening, don’t look slutty or be crude in public; we don’t want to take that home to mom. Men may love porn, but we don’t want to marry a porn star.

Feeling like the topic was thoroughly vetted, I started to close out the tab when  a new voice piped up:

“It’s so hard and yet so simple,” said Phillip, a divorced father of two. “If you want to seduce a man down the aisle, be positive, bring joy to the table, use your brain, laugh, and let us think we are–at least to you–the smartest most interesting man in the world, and that you will always be an advocate for us.”

The men all nodded quietly, struck dumb by awe and Heineken, till, with equal reverence, Todd, 34, chimed in: “And you gotta give blow jobs.”


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Lingerie Rules for Sexual Success

In theory, I love sexy underwear. I own the requisite number of suspender belts (two), a multitude of thongs, have previously bought crotchless pants (although God knows where they are now), and, occasionally, I even wear these items.  And we all know how sexy underwear is supposed to work: you wear it, he is blown away with lust and gratitude, and you both have the best sex ever.

Except, of course, in real life, things are rarely so simple.

My lingerie heyday was undoubtedly during my student years. Back then, my 20-year-old boyfriend was delightfully responsive to any effort on my part in the underwear department. The merest whiff of stockings and suspenders and he was a shoo-in. My current 30-something man, however, is much less predictable.

Think of it like this: in the world of lighting, your 20-something male is a bog-standard lamp – he has a switch, you flick it, you turn him on. But by the time a man hits his 30s, he has matured into a more complex system altogether, a kind of finely-tuned motion sensor light. On a good day, this means you get to kick back and enjoy his advanced technology. On a bad day, it leaves you standing in the middle of the room, waving your arms around wildly, and wondering how the hell you turn the damn thing on.
Sexy Young Woman Wearing White Bride Underwear

The problem is, when we put on sexy underwear at the start of a night, we are making a firm commitment to both us and them wanting to have sex at the end of it. It’s a down payment on mutual lust; in my experience, couples often buckle under this kind of pressure. And even if our man does want to have sex, he might be totally unfussed by our undies. As my housemate – a relatively sensitive guy – put it: ‘By the time you’re down to that layer, your main concern is getting beyond it; it’s just an extra shiny barrier.’ Such a lack of enthusiasm on their part can easily lead to disappointment on ours.

These pitfalls are only exacerbated by the financial cost of decent lingerie. My boyfriend would probably enjoy an Agent Provocateur basque more if it didn’t represent a 50% reduction in our monthly savings. These days, nothing gives him a hard on quite like the thought of making it onto the property ladder. Conversely, nothing is likely to kill his passion quite like the thought of our future home disappearing in a cloud of lace and tassles. If I splash out on lingerie, then, we’re both going to want to see a pretty high return.

So you can see why my relationship with sexy underwear is not as simple as it once was. But this doesn’t mean I’m ready to quit the game altogether. No, instead I have developed three simple rules to help me (and people like me) enjoy a healthy relationship with my undies.

Rule #1 – No Surprises

One girlfriend of mine has sexy lingerie nailed. Firstly, she does not give a damn about the cost. Secondly, she is in awe of all female beauty, including her own (she sends me links to high-end corsets asking which I think would make her look the most adorable). Thirdly, (and this is key), she involves her boyfriend in deciding when the lingerie should be worn. Last Christmas, she bought ‘him’ a stunning corset. After its first outing, he wanted to know what would happen next, i.e. would she wear it all the time or only occasionally? Was it a one-off thing?

She explained to him, ‘This corset is your Christmas present. And now it can be Christmas anytime you want to it to be. All you have to do is say “Can we have Christmas today, please?” And I’ll make it happen.’

You see, the girl’s a genius.  Because it is the ‘tada’ aspect of sexy lingerie that so often backfires. I ran this theory by my boyfriend, and he agreed: ‘If we don’t know it’s coming, you can’t blame us if we don’t rise to the challenge. At least give us a hint!’

Rule # 2 – Know your Man

In the case of my man, this means sexy lingerie is best aired by day. When we were ‘courting’, our nights out usually culminated in wild, drunken sex. Now, they are more likely to end in wild, drunken promises to do it first thing in the morning.  My bloke peaks in the day; I must use this to my advantage.

Sexy lingerie woman

Rule #3 – Know your Budget

Sexy underwear can be fun and experimental, but invest too much and the stakes are raised. With this in mind, I recently did some browsing on ebay (‘refine’ – ‘condition’ – ‘new with tags’), and managed to get some rather nice Victoria Secret undies at a 75% discount. They arrived today and, I’m pleased to say, they make my bottom look lovely. My only concern is that the lacing running down my bum crack rather draws the attention to the wrong hole (a hole that is, by long-standing agreement, out of play).  Still, at that price it’s hard to complain. And, as the saying goes, never say never…

Tomorrow morning, my boyfriend and I have a rare shared lie in. I intend to get up, spruce up, put on my sexy budget knickers and one of his shirts (I have it on good authority that this is a winning combination). Then, I’ll come back to bed and wake him up with a hot brew and my own delicious self. He has been duly warned that this is coming. So, this time, he’d better wake up and smell the coffee.

How To Remain ‘Sexy’ For Life

These simple tips will keep you healthy and feeling flirty!

Don’t let your age keep you from experiencing the pleasures of intimacy. Although libido may lessen as you age, here’s how to feel sexy for a lifetime.

As you grow older, it’s easy to lose that spark in the bedroom. Boredom, loss of adventurousness, physical ailments, and other problems can challenge even the healthiest of relationships over time, causing a loss of libido and creating emotional distance. But keeping intimacy alive can have profound effects on your life.

Research shows that healthy people have better sex lives. Fit people enjoy sex more and have lower instances of sexual dysfunction that can impair their love life. If you’re experiencing a loss of intimacy, there are steps you can take to reclaim it. Here’s how to feel sexy again.

Intimacy Tip No. 1: Stay Healthy

To keep your libido revved for lovemaking you should: Exercise regularly. Your arousal depends in large part on how well blood flows through your body. Regular aerobic exercise helps keep the heart pumping and the blood flowing.

Eat right. Eat a diet low in fats and sugars and high in fiber and good nutrition. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, plenty of whole grains, and a good daily amount of low-fat dairy products. Protein should come in the form of fish, poultry, and lean meats.

Sleep well. Good, healthy sleep gives your body the chance to refresh and recuperate. Stop bad habits. Alcohol and tobacco can harm sexual function and can negatively affect your overall health.

Relaxing In Luxury Bath.


Partners with a satisfying sex life talk to one another; those with an unsatisfying one need to talk to one another.

Voice your concerns. Tell your partner about changes in your body that worry you along with any other issues that bother you about your sex life.

Describe what makes you feel good. Your partner can’t satisfy you if he doesn’t know what you desire. Don’t criticize. Focus on what he’s doing right, rather than pointing out the things he’s doing wrong. Talk at the right time. During lovemaking is the right time for discussing what you like and enjoy. Save your concerns, worries, and more negative issues for outside the bedroom.

Improve Your Own Game

Try these ways to be a better lover: Think about sex. The brain is an important — some say the most important — sexual organ. Get your head in the game by thinking about your fantasies and desires more often. Write down your sexual fantasies and share them with your partner.

Touch. Maintaining physical affection is critical to keeping a love life happy and frisky. Cuddle, hug, kiss, and hold hands often, even if you’re tired or not in the mood for sex. During lovemaking, experiment with touching your partner in ways that please and arouse him.

Educate yourself. There are plenty of self-help books available that will give you tips on improving your sexual technique.

Passion Portrait Of Couple In Love

Intimacy Tip No. 4: Have Fun

Don’t forget that sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Be sure to have fun in the bedroom (and elsewhere) by: Trying out different sexual positions. The tried-and-true missionary position can become stale. Experiment with new positions.

Taking a break from intercourse. Try pleasing each other with oral sex, manual sex, massage, and caressing. Being inventive. Leave love notes. Plan an erotic getaway. Try making love at different times of the day. Read a love poem. Craft a scene that appeals to all five senses. Try having sex in different locations.

Most importantly, have sex and enjoy intimacy on a regular basis with your partner.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Have an Honest, Open Talk About Sex With Your Partner

Communication is the Bridge to Hot Sex!

Sex is an important aspect of most every marriage. Your sexuality plays a major role in life. It influences how you dress, act, and interact with others around you. It’s everywhere.

Stand in line at your local grocery store and see if you can avoid seeing the word sex on a magazine cover. You’ll likely see it several times.

Talking about sex however, is possibly one of the more difficult conversations in life. Did you realize that for many people, it’s easier to talk about sex with friends than it is with your sexual partner? Why is that?

It’s tied to the anxiety these intimate subjects and acts create.

Do you remember how nervous you were during your first sexual encounter? Filled with uncertainty, the exploration of the unknown, being vulnerable with someone else, sharing new parts of yourself with another person.

After a while, the nervousness subsides, confidence increases, but routine takes over. If you’re honest, you probably have a set amount of sex routines. It’s always Sunday afternoon, must be in the dark, they do me then I do them.

I’m sure there are times when the routine is altered and the playbook is thrown out the window, but it’s likely that the new plays designed will simply replace some of the older ones.

There is nothing wrong with playbook sex, especially when both of you enjoy it. But what happens when one of you wants to alter the plays a bit?

It’s usually hard to bring up intimate subjects with those you care about. There’s a lot of risk involved with these conversations. Just because the topic is intimate and the person is someone you love, don’t back down from bringing up the things that are important to you.

When it comes to talking with your spouse about sex, here’s a few things to keep in mind.

  1. Timing is key. It’s not a good idea to bring up the subject of sex while having sex (this is different than a follow the connection talking which enhances the experience). If you want to discuss some unresolved aspect of your sexual relationship or a disappointment or frustration, during sex is not a good time for the discussion. Both of you will likely be less open and objective about the conversation. It’s also not a good idea to bring up touchy subjects at bedtime.
  2. Be honest. If you are going to address this subject, be upfront and honest. This may seem like common sense but there are many people who resort to code words or only bring things up half-way.
  3. Avoid placing blame and attacking. It’s easy to address this topic with statements like “Why do you always want to …” or “You always seem to initiate when I’m…” Anytime a person feels attacked they’ll respond defensively, it’s part of our survival nature. During personal discussions, take care of yourself. Talk about your experience, your thoughts, your feelings. While this will still impact your partner and may possibly hurt a bit, it increases the chances that you will be heard.
  4. Ask questions. Seek to hear their side of things, be clear on their perspective. This is especially good advice if you have a spouse who’s reluctant to have this conversation.
  5. Listen intently throughout the conversation. Slowing down to really listen can help keep the conversation calm, not less emotionally charge. But the less reactive you are, the more likely a good resolution will result.
  6. Fill the conversation with respect. Avoid talking down to your spouse and assuming they know what you’re thinking. Also avoid interrupting them while they’re speaking.


As the conversation proceeds, you should also examine and discuss these sexual styles (everyone has these styles or moods at some point):

  • Spiritual – The union of the mind, body and soul during sexual encounters together. This connection comes from your deep appreciation of being with each other and is created by being more aware of the little moments in your life.
  • Lusty – The flirty and wicked looks at one another, the quickies, and the pleasure of having sex simply for the sex.
  • Tender – The gentle, romantic, affectionate touch that involves massages, light touches, and catering to one another.
  • Funny – Teasing and laughing with each other in bed. Having fun with one another.
  • Angry – This is making love even when you’re ticked off at each other (yes it is possible). This can be reparative and healing, provided the issues you’re angry about are still addressed.
  • Fantasy – This probably needs little explanation. It’s the style of collaboration between the two of you – to create a bit of daring and experimentation. Could be role play, new positions, or risky locations.

We are designed as sexual beings, but don’t forget that one of the most sexual parts of our design – is our mind.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article


Keys to More Intimacy in your Relationship

Q: We used to make love at least every other day, then it dropped to once a week and now it seems like we barely do it once a month.

We both miss it, but we have lots going on and making time for sex has fallen by the wayside for a multitude of reasons.

When we don’t have time for sex, how can we still feel close and connected?

Is there anything that can make us feel like a couple, the way sex does?

A: Ah the blissful morning after making love: you’re smiling, you have a spring in your step, you sneak meaningful, secret glances with your lover, your partner feels more like your seductive lover than your significant other and/or co-parent, you can’t keep your hands off each other, and you’re sure the sun is brighter and birds are chirping louder because all is good and sweet in the world and in your life – oh happy day.

Post-sex contentment hits every person differently, but it is true that after lovemaking, couples feel more connected, more attuned to each other’s needs, communicate more effectively, and the body chemicals flooding through one’s veins and brain is enough to make one feel, well, very loved up.

But some couples don’t have as much time for lovemaking as they would like.

So they may miss out on this blissful morning after glow.

Some couples believe that if they don’t have time for sex, they don’t have time for much else together, either, so intimate shared time becomes a luxury, or left to be experienced infrequently and rarely in a couple’s life.

But it doesn’t have to be. Couples who feel they don’t have time for sex, or are just too tired or too busy with other competing important priorities don’t have to neglect their intimacy altogether.

Couples can certainly feel bonded, giddy and loved up through other means, not only sex.

Yes, sex is a powerful magnet between partners, but if you’re strapped for time, energy or have other reasons you can’t get enough sexy time together (perhaps one person travels or you work varied hours from one another or have small children or others living with you etc), there are other ways to get your gooey loving exciting thrilling feelings more often.

1. Dance. Hold your partner close. Next time your partner is in the same room and you go to open a social media app on your smartphone, stop, and use the minutes you would have spent swiping a screen with your thumb instead swaying to a song on one of your music apps with your love.

2. Whenever you are out together, hold hands. Public displays of affection make you feel close, and make you proud to be together as a couple. Take every moment, no matter how small, to connect and to remind yourselves that you choose each other, every day.

3. Laugh. Lots of people are only witty and entertaining to strangers or company outside their relationship and family. Be funny. Find humour in life together. Reminisce about shared good times and hilarious memories. Build your foundation in part by holding on to the good things that keep you together and make the ride together worthwhile. Feeling light and laughing together is an important part of your shared life together.

4. Have a conversation, just the two of you, every day. Okay so you may not have time for sex, but you always have time to talk, about something interesting or intimate, for at least 10 minutes, whether it’s on the phone or in person. You’re adults who share a connection and fell in love with each other’s minds as well as bodies. Don’t forget to nurture that!

5. Shower together. Yes, it might lead to a quickie. But either way, it’s sensual couple time together, and it’s skin on skin contact and you may even squeeze in a conversation too!


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The Building Blocks of Erotic Intimacy

Regaining intimacy is important for healthy relationship.

Sex addiction is a coping mechanism, much like compulsive eating, gambling or drinking, that works to either augment the addict’s pleasure or numb his or her pain. It’s a defense against overwhelming feelings that the addict cannot regulate, feelings that have their roots in childhood, when primary caregivers proved unreliable at best, and abusive at worst. Having failed to attach in a healthy way within these initial relationships, the addict now struggles to form bonds with others, either due to fear of abandonment, fear of enmeshment or fear of harm. The result of these fears, regardless of their particular flavor, is a phobia of intimacy that pervades the sex addict’s life. In response, he or she turns to relationship substitutes that also function as brain chemistry-altering drugs — porn, affairs, prostitutes, promiscuity. Thus sex addiction is a complex and highly sophisticated “solution” to the addict’s emotional problems. It is not dismantled easily.

What’s needed is an understanding of the building blocks of intimacy, which when worked on individually and as a whole, will gradually allow the addict to learn a new style of relating to others. The goal is for the addict is to learn to securely attach to healthy partners and experience the joy of intimacy, which once tasted, can be so powerful it incinerates all illusions that sexual acting out can ever fulfill the deep inner longing for connection that all humans have in common.

One of the most important building blocks is transparency. This means allowing ourselves to be seen and known authentically, no matter the consequences. To a sex addict, this can be horrifying. The shame involved in coming clean about the addiction is enough to send the addict right back to the sex club. But transparency is not just about disclosing secrets or divulging details to a partner. It’s about letting other people know when we’re hurting; lettings others in on our humor; sharing our talents; and even just being “boring” when we’re tired or need down time. Transparency is like the clean oxygen needed for relationships to breathe, and it begins in the safety of a therapeutic setting where addicts can risk being themselves, perhaps for the first time ever.

Another major building block of intimacy is vulnerability. Through years of acting out, the sex addict has built of a brick wall of “toughness,” an emotional invincibility that is evidenced in the callous objectifying of others and the ability to stay emotionally detached from partners. Learning to accept that we can be hurt, that we most likely will be hurt from time and time, and that we can be hurt and still be okay is the key to moving towards healthy bonds. To even acknowledge how deeply we can be wounded by a cold look, an unreturned email or a rejected invitation can be daunting, but once viewed in the context of our shared humanity, it becomes easier for the addict to understand how normal their responses are, and to cope with the disappointment in ways that are loving and respectful towards oneself, rather than destructive.

There are many more building blocks and cornerstones of intimacy, and each one is like a key that can open the door to freedom for the sex addict. Throughout the journey, it is essential to having a kind and supportive guide in the form of a therapist or counselor, for this work can unearth traumas too great to be handled on one’s own. Support groups are also invaluable during this stage of recovery, where addicts can share their progress and ultimately begin to grasp that they are not alone.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article