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Dancing With the Stars: This Week’s Love Meter Review and Shocking Elimination!

by Kelley Lynnin LOVE

On this week’s favorite ballroom blitz extravaganza reality show, eight couples remained. For the first time ever, the show did a new theme where pairs danced to iconic Boy Bands and Girl Groups, and former contestant, runner-up to the winner, and Backstreet Boys member Nick Carter, sat in as guest judge. Also this week, was a TEAM DANCE broken up into teams of men vs. the women. As always, the 4 judges on the panel gave their opinions and scores on the dancing and choreography, but we here at LOVE TV will critique what really matters – the couple’s chemistry. Now unless you are a professional like me, please do not try to rate the couples at home. This must only be done in a professional environment, using my special scientific formula (I made it up). Just come here, and read on. Oh, and you’re welcome. Let’s get started with this week’s action:

SIMONE AND SASHA: EGG ON THE FACE

They did the Samba to a Destiny’s Child song. During rehearsal footage, Simone was asked if her partner was sexy, to which she responded, “Hmmm, thats pushing it. Sexy? No. Rashad is sexy!” (and she is right) Their dance got mixed reviews, with mostly high marks, and with Len saying “the timing was suspect, like my bladder.” Okay, maybe I made up that last part. But you can’t prove it. Backstage, Erin Andrews further embarassed Simone by bringing up her sexy crush on him. She giggled like a schoolgirl, which she is, technically.

Judges Scores: 9/8/9/9

Love Meter Score: This week, I’m giving this couple a score of EGG ON THE FACE, because it must have been slightly awkward having to practice with Sasha for 17 thousand more hours, right after saying he isn’t sexy in the slightest.

BONNER AND SHARNA: COOL DOWN

They did the Rumba, to a Backstreet Boys song, with Nick Carter being a former member AND also being Sharna’s former dance partner. So, the pressure was on. The dance was lovely, but i feel like some of their former spark has started to dim a bit, or maybe they are over each other already. There was a definite hot chemistry factor with these two, the first few weeks, and although it’s still there, its getting more lukewarm for some reason. Nick said: “I can’t be more proud of what I just saw.” Bonner claimed in rehearsals, to cameras, that he is the worst dancer on the show. Yeah, but he also has the best naked chest, and is the cutest. So, there’s that.

Judges Scores: 8/8/7/7

Love Meter Score: Giving these two a scientific score of COOL DOWN PERIOD. To be determined as to whether or not their hot status re-appears in the future.

NANCY AND ARTEM: FRIENDS

They danced to the Girl Group EnVogue, and they did the Paso Doble. Nancy was very overly critical of herself during footage, and Artem tried to comfort her while still being the firm and supportive coach. Their dance was quite nice, and you could feel the supportive and caring nature coming from her partner in their movements. Carrie Ann called it “spot on. Well done.” Nick said “My mind is blown. You have blown my mind.” Bruno made a sound that only Bruno can understand. Len napped in his Cream of Wheat.

Judges Scores: 9/8/8/8

Love Meter Score: Giving these two a chemistry reading of FRIENDLY COACH, because I’m guessing that Artem is way sweeter and more friendly than any of the Olympic coaches Kerrigan is used to. They can be tyrants.

NICK AND PETA: SIBLINGS

Their dance was to the Beach Boys classic “Fun Fun Fun”, and it was a Jive. The routine had the feel of a 1950s scene, with the TV appearing black and white as if in an old music video or movie. They were pretty adorable together this week, and she was great with him in rehearsals about helping him let go of his insecurities as a dancer. Len said it was “lacking polish and finesse, like my …. oh, never mind.” Now, I may have misheard him, but I could have sworn that Bruno said the dance was “a bit like a stroke”, which was absolutely hilarious and also extremely wrong. Maybe he said something else, but Nick Carter and Carrie Ann sort of gasped when he said it, so who knows. Nobody ever knows what the hell that guy says, because nobody can understand him. Except Charo. Charo could understand Bruno, because she spoke the same crazy language.

Judges Scores: 7/7/7/7

Love Meter Score: This week, they get a score of BIG SIS AND LITTLE BROTHER vibe, because that’s how it felt.

NORMANI AND VAL: SIZZLE

They did the Salsa, and their theme was that Val was a hot and sexy construction worker, grabbing her off the street for a sexy dance. It was very hot, and the chemistry was great this week. Bruno had the funniest and wackiest, most innuendo comment with: “It melted all my wiring, and blew out all my boxes!” Carrie Ann said that Normani’s body lines were perfection. And if it weren’t for Grumpy Len, their scores would have also been perfection. You can’t really blame him though. They woke him up from his nap.

Judges Scores: 10/10/8/10

Love Meter Score: Hot, hot, and even more hot! Like SIZZLING FAJITAS!!!!

DAVID AND LINDSAY: PAPA DON’T PREACH

They did the Argentine Tango to an N’Sync song. I always love these two. They are so darn cute, and he is the most genuine guy. The way the Chicago Cubs and his former Boston Red Sox teams support him on the show is so cool. Lindsey told him she is his coach, and he responded with “I see it like this. You’re my teammate.” He was a bit stressed out this week due to busy schedule and tension, and she helped him relax. Carrie Ann said “you don’t seem like yourself tonight.” Bruno pointed out that he almost dropped Lindsey while on a lift. David replied with: “I might come off as grumpy when I’m trying to just be serious. Was trying to be sexy for this dance, but Lindsey is like my daughter, so it’s weird.” Love them.

Judges Scores: 7/8/7/7

Love Meter Score: Since Lindsey is like a daughter to him, I’m giving them a PAPA DON’T PREACH score this week.

RASHAD AND EMMA: DRILL SERGEANT

They danced to the Four Tops, and had the Tango. During rehearsals, Emma was working Rashad like crazy, and he noticed when he said to cameras “This girl ain’t playin around. She’s serious.” It paid off, because their connection and hard work showed in the dance. Bruno said creepily: “You wanted to show us what you’ve got, and you’ve got plenty!”

Judges Scores: 9/10/9/9

Love Meter Score: Giving their fierceness and determination DRILL SERGEANT status this week, because Emma wasn’t playin!!!

HEATHER AND MAKS: STUNNER

So, after a few weeks nursing his injury and being replaced by another pro dancer as Heathers partner, Maks was finally back, and their connection was stronger and better than ever. They did the TLC song “Waterfalls”, and they had the Rumba. She was joking with him that she wanted to get the “Disney 10 score” last week and didn’t, and he promised her that she would get the 10 score this week with him. The movements were perfect, and they seemed extremely happy to be back together again. Len said: “Beautiful leg action, knockout dance.” Nick called it his “favorite dance of the night.” It was super sexy and passionate, and she is a kick-ass dancer.

Judges Scores: 10/10/10/10

Love Meter Score: SIMPLY STUNNING!

TEAM BOYBAND: The men and their pro-dance partners did a fun medley that had a bit of “Magic Mike” quality to it, and was super fun. Their chemistry together as guys was a blast. They were like old friends having a great time.

TEAM GIRLGROUP: Fun chemistry, lots of athletic movement, but didn’t seem as flowing as the men’s number.

ELIMINATION:

Well, here comes the shocker. Who went home this week? Not Nick, the bachelor who can only “sort of” dance, on a good day. Not the baseball player, because he is so sweet and funny and not too terrible, and everyone just loves him to pieces. Who went home, was the girl who everyone thought would be in the Finals. The girl who got her PERFECT TEN scores tonight, as promised by Maks. The girl who had to work with a different partner on the fly, because her original one was injured. Yup. Heather went home, and you could tell that she was just as shocked as everyone else. Also, the massive BOOING coming from the audience showed their disdain for the results. Hey, at least she didn’t go home before Mr. T. Or the horror show that was Chris Kattan. Could somebody wake Len up? Who is going to tell him that Heather was eliminated? Bergeron, that will be your job. He likes you best.

Relationship 911: Unpacking Shame

by RJ Newellin LOVE

The ways we perceive the actions of others reflect how we see ourselves. I knew I had a problem with shame because of how I’d been treating my partner.

It began innocently enough.

“Are you really going to eat all of that?” I’d ask playfully, as if monitoring his eating would negate my own cravings.

“You did what in high school?” I’d gasp, appalled at whatever crazy anecdote came up. As if I were Mother Theresa.

I was looking at his past under the same negative microscope with which I judged my own. This served to confirm my belief that my mistakes made me a bad person.

Shame was deeply rooted in my relationship history, but I covered it with false bravado, impulsiveness and deflection. Subconsciously, I kept focus away from my own negative qualities by looking for them in others. Even in those I loved.

At the time, I saw this as a positive behavior. I would point to something I saw as a fault in my lover, then actively assert myself in “helping” him fix it. I thought that this made me a good partner. But in truth, I was anything but.

I didn’t know how to love someone without trying to improve him or her somehow – even if my words said otherwise, and even if I didn’t really want to change them. I couldn’t help myself. Judgment, blame and shame were all that I knew, even when life was good.

“Blame is [a] defensive cover-up for shame. Blame maintains the balance in a dysfunctional system when control has broken down.” – John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You

I could say that I developed these habits because of my religious upbringing, where love came with conditions. Or I could blame my actions on past relationships, because they all seemed to have been dysfunctional in this way. But to actually solve the problem, I would have to look at the common denominator in these factors: me.

I didn’t know how to love myself without pretense or perfectionism. And because I didn’t take the time to admit this before I entered the relationship, it took a big toll on my partner. I was ruining my life, without even realizing it.

At the time, I was convinced that I was in the right. I believed that caring for people in spite of their shortcomings was the same as unconditional love. The very foundation of my relationships had been poisoned by shame. I acted defensively by default, manifesting of my own deepest fears. I truly loved my partner, but I was doing it wrong.

It took a great deal of therapy, self-reflection and rock bottom moments for me to finally have the guts to look in the mirror and acknowledge the fearful person staring back at me.

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Millennials: What Do ‘Grown-Up Relationships’ Look Like?

by RJ Newellin LOVE

Have you seen these headlines?

‘Millennial Commitment-Phobia Threatens the Future of Love.’

‘Are Dating Apps the End of Romance?’ 

‘Love is Dead, and Millennials Killed It.’

Thanks for the laughs, Google. I wholeheartedly disagree.

While everyone is different, I believe that most Millennials do believe in love and commitment in some form or another. The fact that we’re free to feel otherwise and/or change our minds can actually strengthen our ultimate resolve to have these needs met. Millennials want joy and fulfillment in our relationships, in whatever way we feel is best for us.

Maybe that’s the key difference that’s scaring everyone. We don’t choose partners based on “whatever society says is best,” or even “what our parents think we should do.” We love in whatever way we feel is best for us.

The ways in which today’s singles ‘hunt and gather’ in relationships looks drastically different than previous generations, but that’s not necessarily new. Our parents’ love lives were different from their parents, just as their parents’ were different from their grandparents. As technology and culture jump forward, so do the ways in which we live our lives. Call it evolution, development, advancement, whatever – change can be uncomfortable for some, but it’s important.

In the 60s, ‘free love’ was said to be the end of relationships. Was it?

When women began prioritizing their education and careers, they were said to be ‘destroying traditional family values.’ Did they?

When divorce was legalized, it was an outrage. “Commitment is dead!” they said.

Fast forward to 2017: same kids, new toys. Millennials are not the first generation to shake things up, and it’s okay. Commitment phobia, ‘ghosting’ and one-night stands are not new concepts. We just have flashy new apps, websites and catchphrases for them now.

Instead of going out for milk and never coming home (as great-grandpa did back in the day), we can just press ‘block,’ ‘delete’ and then go on with our lives. It’s cheaper and safer than the old-fashioned alternatives, especially if marriage hasn’t entered the picture. Millennials aren’t forced to enter legal contracts before they’re ready (risking long-term unhappiness, family dysfunction, infidelity and more). We are free to pick and choose the kinds of relationships we actually want.

So why isn’t everyone celebrating?

As great as evolution is, these advances do make things a little more complicated.

In Scientific American, Helen Fisher (a relationship expert at Rutgers University and chief scientific advisor at Match.com) has said that she does not subscribe to the idea of a ‘relationship apocalypse.’ Instead, she describes modern dating trends as “slow love,” meaning that Millennials are taking more time to experiment and find out what they don’t want before they settle down with what they do want. 

Thanks to dating apps, we have infinitely more choices when it comes to selecting a partner. This makes love more complicated than it was for our grandparents, dating only within their own towns and cities.

If I’m offered three types of breakfast cereal to choose from, it might take five minutes to pick. But what about three hundred choices? I might be in the breakfast aisle forever.

I’m not fickle or indecisive for using multiple dating apps. Like any sensible human, I want to consider all the options before making a decision. It isn’t impulsiveness or fear that leads Millennials to jump around; it’s actually a sense of responsibility.

The behaviors we engage in are not new; our openness about them is. LGBTQ+ Americans have always been around, whether we were socially accepted or not. The gender spectrum hasn’t changed, our language for it has. Single parenthood, premarital sex, polyamory, fetishes, and infidelity are not new ideas. Neither is blaming ‘those damn kids’ for things that make us uncomfortable.

Being open about our needs has a number of positive benefits: safer sex, improved psychological health, better relationships, increased acceptance of ourselves and others, and fewer wasted years trying to hide and fit into lives that aren’t genuine. With that said…I get it. Dating is fine and dandy, but what about commitment?

In a generation that notoriously struggles to ‘adult,’ what do Grown-Up Relationships look like?

I remember sitting in the schoolyard at five years old, trying to picture myself at twenty. I imagined I’d be married, have a house, two kids and a dog. Now that twenty has come and gone, I can’t help but giggle at this outlandish fantasy. The vast majority of today’s twenty year-olds can’t afford their own rent, let alone support a family.

To understand why we most likely aren’t married (yet or ever), let’s consider some of the factors surrounding our life decisions. According to the Pew Research Center, Millennials are more educated but significantly less affluent than previous generations. Adults in their 20s and early 30s are more likely to still live with their parents; this comes not out of desire or laziness, but of need. Most of us can’t afford to throw a wedding in our twenties, let alone buy a house and start a family. While the bar for success has risen with our education, the odds for a stable career are lower than ever. Is it any wonder then, that most of us won’t marry young?

If by ‘grown up’ you mean financially stable, most of us aren’t there yet. But if maturity is a measure of emotional independence, personal commitment to improvement and working hard to attain stability – then yes, we’re all adults, here.

Millennial relationships are Grown-Up Relationships. And modern grown-ups don’t need to get married. We need love and support – and that doesn’t necessarily mean following blueprints set by our parents. Most of my Millennials friends don’t consider marriage a bad thing, but they also aren’t ready (or willing) any time soon.

I married my partner, but I am definitely not a “grown-up” with a house and two kids the way my five-year-old self had anticipated. Our world is not that of our grandparents, so today’s typical marriage looks a little different. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to make the same choices as me, or vice versa. My grown-up relationship is not your grown-up relationship, just as my  day-job is not your day-job. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Don’t let outdated standards determine your modern needs.

Perhaps instead of worrying that our love lives aren’t ‘mature’ by ancient standards, we can look at the big picture and accept that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be for this time in history. If you’re one of 1.8 billion Millennials navigating love in an unprecedented world, I applaud you. You’re not alone, you’re not the first, and you’re certainly not the last.

Welcome to Millennial Love. What does it mean to you?

7 Rules for Tapping Your Intuition in Love

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

From mind-reading on a date to tuning into psychic alarm bells, how you can use your sixth sense to find the perfect man…

Are you fed up looking for love in all the wrong places? It might be time to tune in to your intuition. As a psychic consultant, I believe the real reason we struggle to find the perfect partner is because we ignore our instincts.

We turn our back on our inner wisdom and listen to what people tell us rather than using our sixth sense. The results are confusion and heartbreak. You might think love is complicated, but when you use your instincts you’ll see it’s simple.

Follow my steps for getting in touch with your intuition and you’ll be able to mind-read your dates and suss out the Mr Rights and Mr Wrongs — and find a partner who is perfect for you…

YOUR SECRET POWERS

Did you know you can read minds?

We all have intuitive power. All of us have had feelings about people that have been correct, yet we can’t put our finger on why we felt the way we did.

We often know when a partner is lying to us, even if every logical sign is to the contrary. The problem arises when we choose to ignore these feelings.

‘I knew something wasn’t right from the start,’ my client will tell me, a month after her date has run off with her best friend. ‘But I hoped for the best.’ If only she’d listened to her inner wisdom.

How to tap into that intuition

Often, our minds are filled with daily chores, worries and problems. When our mind is full like this, we’re far away from our intuition and, as a result, we make bad decisions — particularly when it comes to relationships.

So set aside half an hour a day to clear your mind. Turn off the radio, TV and your mobile phone, close your eyes and let go of your thoughts and worries.

Intuitive thought comes from a calm place, but it also comes from taking notice of the signs the world is giving you . . .

SEVEN RULES OF INTUITION

Rule One: Believe In Yourself

The minute you begin to doubt yourself, your intuition stops talking to you.

Rule Two: Relax

The mind must be calm to let the right energy come through.

Rule Three: Listen to your dreams

Intuitive thoughts often come to us in dreams. So when you wake up, jot down as many details as you can remember, which will help make clearer the messages your dreams are trying to give you.

Rule Four: Notice coincidences

If you bump into an old friend, keep in touch. The universe is trying to send you a message — let your intuition be your guide.

Rule Five: Don’t ignore your feelings

Don’t try to suppress negative feelings with a chocolate bar. Instead of snacking to make yourself feel better, face up to what is making you unhappy.

Rule Six: Pay attention to your body

How often have you heard people say such things as ‘He makes me sick to my stomach’? Take time to listen to what your body is saying.

Rule Seven: Practice

No one would take an exam without study. It’s the same with intuition — use it every day to build up your powers.

UNDERSTAND YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS

Love cycles

Do you understand why past relationships ended? I’ve counselled many clients who have lived out the same bad relationship over and over again. Their partners change, but the relationship is the same.

Here are the five negative love cycles I see clients repeat over and over again:

You never get past the first few dates;
He leaves you for his ex;
He stops calling you;
He cheats on you;
He’s never good enough for you.

Don’t ignore psychic alarm bells

Now that we’ve identified the cycles, it’s time to take responsibility for your past relationships. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck with negative feelings. What warning signs did you ignore in the relationship?

Have you ever replayed a situation in your head after a relationship has ended and said to yourself ‘I knew something wasn’t right when he said that’? That’s a psychic alarm bell.

Look at your past two relationships or dating experiences and see if you can identify the alarm bells.

Write out three or four pages about each one, from how you met to how it all ended. Now, take a good look at what you’ve written and work out which warning signs you chose to ignore.

Did he ever talk about his former girlfriend and, if so, how did you feel at the time? Were there any unexplained date cancellations? What were the situations that gave you cause for alarm, but you brushed over?

You will see there was at least one alarm bell, and most likely four or five. Here is the important part: Learn from them. Look out for them in your next relationship.

Asking painful questions

Ask your intuition why you seek out these kinds of relationship. It might be painful, but it’s only in taking responsibility that you can move on.

If you never get past a few dates, is it because you are picking partners you aren’t suited to? If so, why?

If you keep going for men with former girlfriends in the wings, is it because you don’t think you really deserve a man with a clean slate?

And if no man is ever good enough for you, is it really because a bad relationship or complicated family background left you terrified of being hurt?

The biggest block to finding true love is self-esteem. Tune in to your higher self to access the confident, happy, loving you.

‘SEE’ YOUR SOULMATE

Now that you’ve reconciled your past, it’s time to look to the future.

I’m always amazed by how few people have taken the time to consider who is their perfect partner — Mr Right.

The Power of 100

This is a psychic tool to imagine your perfect mate. Take a piece of paper and write out at least 100 things you would like in your future partner.

You could include ‘qualities’ such as ‘loves watching EastEnders’ and ‘can ride a bike with no hands’. Write only positive statements.

Once you’ve noted the qualities you would like, you will have a picture of the person with whom you want to spend your life.

Believe it or not, that person exists and is on his way. Your soulmate might be a new person or an old friend who drifts back into your life at exactly the right moment.

DATING

Mind-reading when you meet

Feelings are the messengers of the intuition. Pay attention to how you feel when you’re spending time with a new love interest. Most people have a few nerves when they’re dating, especially if they’re really interested in someone, and this is fine. But do you feel anything else? Happiness? Comfort or discomfort? Unusual levels of anxiety? Take note.

How to spot Mr Wrong

You might meet people who aren’t good relationship material — you’ll need your intuition to be on the alert for men who aren’t what they seem to be.

There are three types of Mr Wrong: Married Men, Players and Commitment-phobes. Each comes with his own early warning system. If he pays only with cash and can’t see you at weekends — is he married? If he says charming things, but his actions say he couldn’t care less — is he a game player?

Listen to those psychic alarm bells.

How to spot Mr Right

Once you’ve got past the first few dates, how do you know love is long-term? Your intuition has a special way of showing you that a man genuinely cares.

There are many psychic love signs — he might choose dates that match your taste — but mostly it is just a feeling. Finding Mr Right will make you feel warm, contented, special and safe.

By tuning in to your powers of intuition you will find this true love.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Finally Classic Films Are Getting a Female Reboot

by Sarah Ewaldin RELATIONSHIPS

Within the last few years, many films have been updates to classic films. While it’s no secret that Hollywood likes to recycle its own ideas, there’s now a push to make the films more inclusive.

The 2016 release of “Ghostbusters” brought one change to the classic film: the ghostbusters were all played by women (the very funny Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones). While some butthurt fanboys cried that the reboot killed their childhood (actually, they usually used a much more brutal, assault-y verb for it), the movie brought in $46M+ on its opening weekend, and grossed $229M+ over its theatrical run.

“Ocean’s 8,” which will be released in (wait for it…) 2018, will also feature all female leads in its remake-of-a-remake. (Seriously, the first version involved Frank Sinatra and his boys’ club Rat Pack and was released in 1960.) But “Ocean’s 8” does one better than “Ghostbusters” in that it’s more diverse. In addition to Anne Hathaway and Cate Blanchett, Rihanna, Mindy Kaling and rapper Awkwakfina will also star in the ensemble. And that first cast photo looks lit.

This weekend, Disney is releasing a live-action version of “Beauty and the Beast.” This movie has a lot going for it: For starters, Emma Watson as the titular character gives it some feminist cred. Watson had a lot of input on the character, and Belle doesn’t wear a corset and is an inventor. (Remember, in the original 1991 film, Belle’s father was the inventor with the wacky contraptions.)

Updating the characters to reflect modern times also extends to the supporting cast. Le Fou, muscle man Gaston’s main lackey, is now going to be gay. And in love with Gaston. Which puts a lot of things into perspective, actually. Though Le Fou will be the first openly gay character, he’s far from the only gay character that Disney has created.

The movie will also feature the first two interracial kisses in a Disney movie: one between wardrobe Madame de Garderobe (Audra McDonald) and harpsichord Cadenza (Stanley Tucci), and the other between candlestick Lumiere (Ewan MacGregor) and feather duster Plumette (Gugu Mbatha-Raw). And Disney is here for it.

I can’t wait to see how Disney movies continue to grow and evolve in terms of representation in the future.

Time for a Paint Job? What Bedroom Color is Best for Getting Turned On

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS

Look to surprising revelations about bedroom wall colors to get more of what you want

More sleep and more sex? Yes, please! A new survey involving 2,000 Brits shows a strong correlation between the color of your bedroom walls and decor with how much sleep and sex you’re having. The takeaway: People with blue rooms appear to be getting the best night’s sleep, while people with caramel-colored walls are having the most sex. Let the mad dash to invent caramel-blue paint begin!

Here’s how the survey breaks it down.

Of course, you don’t see much color with your eyes closed and the lights off, but the color of your walls and decor affects how you sleep before you close your eyes, the survey found.

On average, the survey respondents sleeping in a blue bedroom get seven hours and 52 minutes of sleep, the most in the survey, which was conducted by Travelodge, a budget-friendly hotel chain in the U.K. Builders, teachers and civil servants tend to choose blue most often for their bedrooms, according to the survey.

The study surmises that since blue has long been associated with feelings of calmness — water, blue sky etc. — the color helps us chill out before sleep.

In fact, blue also is said to help reduce blood pressure and heart rate, for more sound sleep.

“This is an amazing result, as there are specialized receptors called ganglion cells in the retina part of our eyes, which are most sensitive to the color blue,” says Chris Idzikowski, a sleep expert at the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, in a press release about the study. “These receptors feed information into an area deep in our brain that controls 24-hour rhythms, and affects how we perform and feel during the day. That interaction between light, sleep and wakefulness is supremely important.”

An amazing 58 percent of Brits in the survey who sleep in blue rooms say they regularly wake up feeling happy. Cheerio!

Certain shades of yellow come in second in promoting the best night’s sleep: seven hours and 40 minutes on average per night.

Warm yellow relaxes the body by stimulating the nervous system and calming the nerves.

Green also creates a calm and soothing vibe, which is why it appears to be the third best color for getting sleep. People with green rooms get an average of seven hours and 30 minutes of sleep per night, and 22 percent of those surveyed say they wake up “feeling upbeat and positive.”

The survey suggests that a soothing silver bedroom mimics moonlight, which cues the brain to know that it’s nighttime and time for sleep.

People with silver bedrooms get an average of seven hours and 33 minutes of sleep, while 21 percent surveyed say they are more motivated to exercise in their bedroom.

Orange, surprisingly, is close behind, with people getting an average of seven hours and 28 minutes of sleep. The warm color also creates a “stable and reassuring atmosphere and can even help digestion too — especially if you have eaten a large or late-evening meal,” according to the survey.

The color has also been found to relax muscles, so you fall asleep more quickly.

Bankers and estate agents tend to choose gold decor, the study found.

Though similar to silver, gray, an incredibly popular house paint color, didn’t perform well in the study; people in gray rooms get an average of only six hours and 12 minutes of sleep per night.

It’s thought that brown and gray can be “dreary and depressing, especially in the bedroom, and make occupants feel emotionally isolated and uncomfortable — resulting in a restless sleep,” the study says.

What’s more, the survey found that Brits with gray rooms spend the most time shopping online in bed.

Those with a brown, cream or white bedroom are most likely workaholics who take their work to bed with them at least three times per week. Shop workers are most likely to have these colors in their bedrooms.

Purple bedrooms performed the worst for sleep. On average, people in purple bedrooms get five hours and 56 minutes per night.

While elegant and artistic, the color is thought to be overly mentally stimulating. Coupled with a busy day, purple walls can make it difficult to turn off a racing mind and switch into sleep mode. (I’m guessing the color has a different affect on chipper dinosaurs named Barney.)

Most interesting, to me anyway, is that the study found that couples in bedrooms with a caramel decor scheme have sex, on average, three times per week.

Unfortunately, the study doesn’t offer any possible reasons. Is the color tricking people into thinking about Milky Way candy bars and chocolate, making them more excited? Or is that just the case in my house?

Not much magic apparently happens in red bedrooms, where couples make love once a week on average. Maybe Roxanne should have put on a caramel-colored light?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

I Don’t Know How to Love Men

by Clementine Francesin LOVE

I don’t know how to love men. There. I said it.

I didn’t grow up with a positive male figure. The constant male presence in my life was toxic. So the only men that looked good to me were in the books and the movies and the songs. Now, that I am an adult, well I’ve been for quite some time, I’m still romantically developmentally arrested.  I don’t know what to do with men. I don’t think I trust them. They kind of scare me; the ones with conditioning to be dishonest, to abuse, to entitlement, the disposal of women, but not in like a murder-y way, but in “on to the next one” kind of way. But also murder! Rape!

Feminism is a response to the patriarchy aka oppression.

Look, I don’t want to be used. I’m fragile! I can’t keep breaking. I spend every day trying to build myself up. It’s exhausting.

Am I a Lesbian?

Sometimes I think I have no attraction to men. Maybe I’m a lesbian in denial. But, I can’t say that I really like women either. But that could be denial talking. But, sometimes any man that shows me any kindness I think I could love. I have this exterior of “I love no one.” But, any bit of kindness a male shows me I think could be love. But, since it screws with my, “no love for me, please” narrative I shut it down. I was never taught how to love. I didn’t see it growing up. What I saw was poison and I think I’ve been spending my life avoiding poison.

I really do believe I could live the rest of my life without ever being in any kind of relationship. But, it’s tough because I do find people attractive. For nearly a decade I was incredibly infatuated (read: http://www.lovetv.co/the-safety-of-my-unrequited-love/) with a celebrity. I’ve been head over heels for teachers, for co-workers, but no one’s ever reciprocated. But, in hindsight, I’ve noticed I’ve been my own cock blocker. If a guy shows interest I immediately see his shady or charming ways and it turns me off. Or I make sure we stay “just friends” because I’m not into him and I don’t want to be, but I could probably fall for anyone who shows me any kindness, if they’re persistent enough. And that makes me think I’m weak.

Romance, is it Weakness?

I guess to engage in romance equals weakness to me. Or should I say vulnerability? Vulnerability makes one susceptible to pain and if there’s anything in life I want to avoid it’s pain. I’m always in pain. I live between no emotion and a ball of emotions and that is as a lonely woman alone. Loneliness is easier. But is it? The idea of handing my feelings to someone and giving them power to affect me is so daunting. Sometimes I wish I was the kind of girl who could just go through guys, whatever that means, but I also want to hide.

Work In Progress

Maybe I’m like the boys who assume that any woman who gives them attention must want to bang them. But, also I believe no one is interested in me, and that maybe I’m highly unattractive and maybe I’m too mean. They say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else which I don’t think anyone actually follows, but I want it to be true for me. But maybe that’s my way of holding off from moving forward. If I stay in the “work in progress” phase I’ll never have to face anything.

I think if someone I was intensely attracted to asked me out I would say yes. But maybe that’s not true. Sometimes, I want love so much that I think I won’t be able to stand not having it at this very moment, but some days I quiet the want, bury it enough so it doesn’t ruin my day.

I could spend two years, twelve years, or twenty years not doing the love thing in order to avoid discomfort. But, it’s comparable to staying on the bench forever because I’m afraid to get in the game.

Are you in the game? I’m ready to get my head in the game.

Rock Your Love and Bedroom Life Using Crystals

by Jo Millerin Sex

What Crystals Would You Use?

More than just pretty stones, crystals have been used for thousands of years for their mystical and powerful healing properties, and are commonly used in alchemic healing remedies, meditation, manifesting, and as sacred tools to support our daily lives. Personally, I find them utterly mesmerizing, and have been using them in my every day life and with my clients, as part of my intuitive coaching practice with truly magical results for many years.

High Vibe Crystals

Specific crystals work with different areas of our bodies, helping to promote a healthy flow of energy.  Each stone carries its own unique vibration that can identify, awaken, and elevate those cells in our bodies that are vibrating lower than they should, correcting any imbalances and harmonizing our physical, emotional and spiritual bodies.

More and more, these high vibe gems are finding their way into our self-love practices and the bedroom, as more and more individuals and couples seek to bring an elevated level of consciousness and intention to take their intimacy and sexual mojo to the next level.

Whatever kind of love you’re trying to attract, be it romantic, spiritual or friendship, you must first truly love yourself before you can fully accept or give love to others.

Rose Quartz- Gateway to Love

The beloved Rose Quartz crystal is a universal Heart Chakra healer, and the gateway stone to loving on all levels; self love, romantic partnership, friends, family, and universal relationships. To ground your life in loving energy, wear some Rose Quartz jewelry, sleep with it under your pillow, or tuck a piece into your pocket or even bra as a constant reminder that love is always close by.

Rhodochrosite-Healing Your Heart

This pretty pink stone helps to heal a broken heart and alleviates past hurts by gently cleansing, soothing, and repairing the energy field around our heart. When taken outside on a sunny day, it can absorb the beauty and magic of nature, allowing a sense of compassionate grace and softness to re-enter our lives.

For a beautiful healing self-love meditation, sit quietly with eyes closed and focus on your heart area. Envision a soft green light (the color associated with our Heart Chakra) emanating from the center of your being, and as you exhale, radiate love from your heart through your body in all directions and out into the Universe. As you inhale, visualize that green love light returning to you from all corners of the Universe, a million-fold, filling you up with pure love and light.

Red Garnet- Ignites Romance

Mediating with Red Garnet inspires and ignites love and romance. Use this powerful root chakra crystal when setting your intention to invite an ideal romantic partner into your life.

Clear Quartz –Manifesting Love

This is a manifesting must-have stone. Considered the master healer when used by itself, or as a broadcaster when partnered with other crystals. It cleanses your energetic aura and helps you connect to the best version of you. Clear Quartz is also ideal for using in crystal grids for it’s ability to broadcast the frequency of what you’re consciously creating.

Creating a Crystal Love Grid

To make a “Love Grid” place a Rose Quartz crystal (representing Love) at the center and place smaller pieces of Clear Quartz crystal points around it, arranging them in the shape of an infinity symbol (representing infinite lasting Love).  This grid can be set up and left in place for as long as you desire (cleansing crystals weekly for optimal charging). Set your intention for what it is you want to attract into your life and trace an imaginary outline of the grid with your finger, beginning and ending at the Rose Quartz center.

Lapis Lazuli- Rock Your Truth

Communicating your boundaries and desires with clarity, kindness and love is key to fostering respectful, healthy relationships. Lapis Lazuli is said to carry the vibration of our inner King or Queen and can help support us in speaking clearly, truthfully and lovingly, teaching others how we wish to be treated. Remember too, that communication also means the ability to be a good listener. In my experience, good listeners make for most excellent lovers.

Fire Agate, Jasper, Rubies- Get Your Mojo On!

Feeling sexually aroused is a sure sign that our positive energy is flowing freely, making sensuality and spirituality an ideal partnership for sexual intimacy. Certain crystals carry powerful aphrodisiac energy that fire up the sensual energy in our lower chakras allowing for our love to flow readily and helps partners to view their sexual relationship as a sacred bond.

Fire Agate and Red Jasper crystals are especially helpful for men in supporting the lower chakras, enhancing the libido and prolonging sexual activity. Orange Carnelian fires up the energy of the sacral chakra and helps women to restore vitality to their female sex organs (or Yoni, which is Sanskrit for Sacred Space).

Red Ruby stone carries an unsurpassable potency of empowering energy that can help both partners release inhibitions, and ignite their adventurous and playful sides.

Place these passion crystals on your nightstand, tucked under your pillow, or drop them into warm bathwater for some relaxation and sensual foreplay togetherness.

Crystal Clearing and Powerful LOVE

It’s essential to cleanse your crystals before using them and regularly as they absorb both our negative and positive energy. Running them under flowing water, smudging with sage smoke, or setting them out under the illuminating power of a full moon will all do a beautiful job of clearing and recharging your sacred love stones.

I wish you all the healing magic and delight that lies in store as you seek to attract and open your heart and life wide open to the high vibe power of LOVE.

Are You Being Denied Foreplay?

by zfortadminin Sex

Sex is amazing, right? Well, yes. But sex isn’t one thing. Sex is lots of things.

Sex can mean a passionate kiss, with your bodies pressed up against each other in a hallway; it can me him in your mouth, or you in his; it can be hours of penetration or the lightest touch in the right place. Or any combination. And lots of others. But for this reader, sex is only one thing, and it’s getting a little tiring.

*I have been dating this guy for a few months now and it’s been wonderful…except for when it’s time to get intimate. He wants to go straight into sex and no foreplay whatsoever. Each time I’ve tried to initiate it, he would say “Babe, you are my girl, you don’t have to do that.” Overall that’s sweet I guess but than the problem is, I don’t get oral (he mentioned a time that he did it on a girl and the girls odor/taste that he could not handle). How or what can I do to make him feel comfortable with me to eventually perform oral sex before the actual sex? *—Foreplay Deprived

One reason sex can’t be one thing is because it’s not the same thing for everyone. That means we have to compromise. When we’re lucky enough to meet someone with the exact same sexual interests as ours, those compromises tend to be minimal: sometimes she gets to be on top when you want to be; sometimes he gets to come first; etc.

In this situation, BF isn’t really meeting anyone halfway, he’s just getting exactly what he wants. Not fair. Many of the women I know, most of them in fact, have difficulty coming without some form of clitoral stimulation, before or during. By your guy denying you foreplay, he’s basically saying “only I get to come,” which is obviously not ideal.

Sounds like he had a bad experience once with giving head and has decided it’s not for him. That’s like having a bad first day of school and deciding that education is for other people. I think you should ask him to consider trying again.

If he’s really dead-set against it, you can remind him that there are other ways to have fun before penetration: fingers, licking other parts of you, playing with toys, etc.

The most important thing is to let him know that what’s going on isn’t fair. He’ll probably change his tune. If he doesn’t, then you have an issue that actually has nothing to do with sex.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Millennials Rank in Marriage Statistics

by zfortadminin LOVE

There’s no shortage of theories as to how and why today’s young people differ from their parents.

As marketing consultants never cease to point out, baby boomers and millennials appear to have starkly different attitudes about pretty much everything, from money and sports to breakfast and lunch.

New research tries to ground those observations in solid data. The National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University set out to compare 25- to 34-year-olds in 1980—baby boomers—with the same age group today. Researcher Lydia Anderson compared U.S. Census data from 1980 with the most recent American Community Survey 1  data in 2015.

The results reveal some stark differences in how young Americans are living today, compared with three or four decades ago.

In 1980, two-thirds of 25- to 34-year-olds were already married. One in eight had already been married and divorced. In 2015, just two in five millennials were married, and only 7 percent had been divorced.

Baby boomers’ eagerness to get married meant they were far more likely than today’s young people to live on their own. Anderson looked at the share of each generation living independently, either as heads of their own household or in married couples.

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“Dancing With the Stars” Week 4: The Love Meter Review

by Kelley Lynnin RELATIONSHIPS

Well, it was Week Four on “Dancing With the Stars”, and the show did their signature “Most Memorable Week Ever” show, otherwise known as: “the episode where everybody has an emotional breakdown.” In this week, each of the stars chooses the year of their life that was life-changing or powerful in some way, and then tells that story through their dance. It is always a tear-jerker, and we always find out a lot that we didn’t previously know about each of the contestants. As my favorite host Tom Bergeron said at the top of the show: “It is always one of our most popular and powerful shows.” Yes, it is Tom. So, since the judges panel is already in charge of judging the dancing, we here at Love TV will once again, focus on each couple’s chemistry together, scoring them on our scientific-proven “Love Meter” scale. (I made it up) So here we go. Enjoy ….

NORMANI AND VAL: Anyone for Chinese?

They did the Rumba, and her chosen year was 2012, the year she joined the pop band 5th Harmony and her life changed. The dance was dedicated to her family, who sacrificed everything so she could live her dreams. Julianne said: “You are a powerhouse.” And Bruno yelled while flailing his arms about: “You know what I like, and you give it to me!” Wow, Bruno. Is that the kind of thing that is often said in your bedroom, when it’s just you, yourself, and your right hand? Carrie Ann went into an hour-long definition of what a lift is, because she is obsessed with taking off points if anyone’s toe comes off the floor.

Judges Scores: 8/7/8/9

Love Meter Score: Giving them a chemistry rating of CHINESE FOOD. They are pleasant enough and fun enough to watch, and it tastes good going down, but after awhile, I have forgotten all about them and I’m hungry again.

NICK AND PETA: Hot! Hot!

His most memorable year was 2016, because he met his now fiance Vanessa on “The Bachelor”, and because she would kick his ass on national tv if he had said any other year but that one. Their dance recreated the experience of dating lots of women at once, and then finding love. It was seductive, it was danced to “The Shape of You” so it was more sexual than loving, and it ended by Nick grabbing Vanessa from the audience, lifting up her dress and making out with her a bit too long. Bergeron was trying to move things along before the two went any further, and comedy ensued. Bruno said of shirtless Nick: “Something new is stirring inside you tonight!” (Eww!) Len joked: “Now that I’ve seen you with your shirt off, I see that we have got so much in common.”

Judges Scores: 8/7/8/7

Love Meter Score: Well who cares about Peta and Nick this week – the real chemistry score belongs to Nick and his fiance Vanessa, who practically stripped each other naked on the dance floor and went into full x-rated mode. I’m giving these two a score of TOO SEXY LEVEL HOT!!!

NANCY AND ARTEM:  Easy Like Sunday Morning

In this case, the couple’s Foxtrot represented not one year, but an 8 year period in Kerrigan’s life, where she suffered 6 miscarriages. Hearing her talk about it in rehearsal footage was heartbreaking, as she described “feeling like a failure, and shameful.” Eventually, her and her husband went through IVF treatments, and were able to have 2 additional children to add on to the one they had naturally at the start. The dance was soft and lovely, and the judges were moved to tears. Len said that Nancy had “moved from the pack, into a front-runner. Well done!”

Judges Scores: 8/9/8/8

Love Meter Score: I’m giving them a score of LIONEL RICHIE, i.e. “Easy like Sunday morning….”

T AND KYM: Hallelujah!

They did the Waltz, and the year he chose was 1995, when he was diagnosed with a rare cancer. After going through radiation and then chemo, it returned and he needed more treatment. He found his faith that year, and he says that it saved his life. They danced to “Amazing Grace” to give thanks to the miracle of being alive. Carrie Ann said: “Your faith radiated into that dance.” Julianne said: “Your story was so evident on that dance floor.”

Judges Scores: 7/7/7/7

Love Meter Score: Between him and Kym, they are lovely friends indeed. But between him and God? Ill give that score a HALLELUJAH AND AMEN!!!!

HEATHER AND ALAN AND MAKS: The Magic of Three

Yup, the weird threesome continues, as Maks is still unable to dance due to his injury in Week One, so he watches awkwardly from the sideline and cheers his partner on. They did the ChaCha, and the year chosen as 2015, when she married her husband Taylor. They met on MySpace, and Bergeron joked: “The most amazing part of your story is it’s the first time in a decade I’ve heard anyone mention MySpace!” She is a fantastic dancer, but I’m not here to talk about that. The weird part is that she seems to have much better chemistry with Alan, than with Maks. Her and Maks seem blah. Her and Alan are smoother. So what will happen once Maks returns to dance? Who knows. Should be some good drama. Bruno asked the pair: “Can I marry you both?” This threesome just got more interesting.

Judges Scores: 8/9/9/9

Love Meter Score: I’m giving this wacky trio a rating of THREE’S COMPANY. Let the hijinks begin.

DAVID AND LINDSAY: Contagious!

They had the Waltz, and his year was 2016, his last year playing with the Cubs, caught a no-hitter, and they won the World Series. He retired to be a full time dad, and said: “I got to live my dream, my job now is to be a good dad, so they can live their dreams.” His personality rocks. I love watching him. Julianne said: “Your spirit and energy are so infectious.”

Judges Scores: 7/8/8/8

Love Meter Score: Im giving their chemistry a score of THE FLU!!! Highly contagious, and easy to catch.

RASHAD AND EMMA: Emotion

This one was super emotional, and for me, the dance of the night. When Rashad was a child, his dad wasn’t home a lot, because he thought his job was to provide , so he worked hard. Years later, when Rashad was in the NFL, his mom called him in 2006, to tell him his dad had a stroke, and his leg would be amputated. Rashad gave up the big contract to play close to home instead and be with his dad. Everyone thought he was nuts, but him and his dad grew closer and now have this beautiful relationship. At the end of their dance, he ran over to his dad, who is now in a wheelchair and was in the audience, and they both cried as they hugged each other. Julianne called it “motion = emotion. No words.” Highest scores of the season, and everyone on earth was crying.

Judge Scores: 10/9/10/10

Love Meter Score: I’m gonna go with that old classic sketch on “Saturday Night Live” from years ago that Mike Myers used to do: IT WAS LIKE BUTTAH!!!!

ERIKA AND GLEB:  UHHHHHH!?

Her story was definitely lacking the emotion that the others had. She chose 1989, because that is the year she moved to NYC and became a real adult. The dance seemed weird, because they used Madonna’s “Express Yourself”, and she seemed like she was trying to BE Madonna. So it seemed more like a weird, out of sync Madonna tribute than having anything to do with her own life. Also, Gleb’s creepy skinny moustache looks like a 70’s porn star. Len said: “It’s a bit same ole, same ole, like my bladder.” Okay, I made that last part up. But the dance was weird.

Judges Scores: 8/7/7/8

Love Meter Score: That was ALL KINDS OF AWKWARD!

BONNER AND SHARNA: Secret Lovers

They did a Foxtrot, and the year was 2016, when he became paralyzed after falling on his head off the bull. It was months of rehab, and hi career was over. “You work so hard for something, and it’s just gone”, he said. Their dance showed this struggle and his climb back up into miraculously being able to dance today. Bruno flirted: “Someone is the new leading man in town!” Bonner seems uncomfortable everytime Bruno speaks, which is hilarious.

Judges Scores: 8/8/8/8

Love Meter Score: Between him and Sharna, I’m going with SECRET LOVERS, because they still seem to have a special connection. Between Bonner and Bruno, I’m going with a reading of THREAT LEVEL: STALKER!

SIMONE AND SASHA: Adorable

They Waltzed, and the year was 2008, which was when she was adopted by her grandparents, who told her to call them mom and dad. Her bio mom was not well, had an addiction, was in and out of jail, and Simone ended up in Foster Home until her grandpa said “I’ll take her.” At the end of the dance, she hugged her parents as they all cried. Len called it her best dance yet.

Judges Scores: 9/9/9/9

Love Meter Score: They are adorable, and their chemistry seems to grow, like EASTER FLOWERS, blooming and fresh.

GOING HOME:

Mr. T went home, unfortunately, but even HE knew he wasn’t any good. “I know I couldn’t dance, but I tried”, he said to Erin Andrews at the end of the show. He is a total sweetheart, and not a good dancer. Stay tuned next week for DISNEY WEEK, when the gang dances to Disney classics, Len takes a well-earned nap, and Bonner gets a restraining order against Bruno.

Yes, Women are Capable of 4 Unique Orgasms

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

There are four distinct types of female orgasm.

You gotta love routines. They get you out of the house in the morning or into the gym at the end of the day. But relying on a routine to get off in bed? Not so sweet. Here’s why: There’s more than one blissed-out, body-tingling way to a happy ending, and the more paths you travel, the more exciting sex will be (and stay). According to a recent study published in the journal NeuroQuantology, there are four distinct types of female orgasm (clitoral, vaginal, blended, or multiple orgasms). You should try them all—starting tonight.

Clitoral Orgasm

You know the external sweet spot is highly sensitive, thanks to the 8,000 nerve endings that congregate there. And if you’re like most women, it’s the go-to point of stimulation to send you over the edge. But according to Sari Cooper, a certified sex therapist in New York City and a columnist for Psychology Today, heading straight to the clitoris gives you a less pleasurable orgasm than if your partner touches, caresses, or massages other parts of your genitals before he homes in on that hot spot.

Techniques to try: “Have him make big circles with his fingers that include the shaft, labia, and upper part of the clitoral hood,” says Cooper. He can do this as foreplay or while you’re in a spooning position during intercourse. If you feel like switching to oral, have him approach your clitoris indirectly by lying perpendicular to you.
Increase your chances: Try having him use a fingertip vibrator like the Hello Touch Wearable Fingertip Vibrator ($65, jimmyjane.com). The more vocal you are about the speed, intensity, and pressure you prefer, the better the end result will be. Also, you’re going to want to read this: The Easiest Way to Have an Orgasm

Vaginal Orgasm

Though there is still some debate as to whether the G-spot exists, 30 percent of women claim they can have a big O from having the famous erogenous zone stimulated through penetration alone.

Techniques to try: First, locate the hot zone. On a solo night, explore the front wall of your vagina with your finger until you feel an area that’s rippled and spongy in texture. Touching it directly should feel pretty darn good. Then, during intercourse, have your man target his thrusting there. Try lying on your sides while facing each other, with your legs intertwined comfortably—think of two pairs of crisscrossed scissors. Keep your parts aligned and make sure his rubs against the front wall of your vagina. “This position allows for deeper thrusts that further stimulate the G-spot,” says Cooper.

Increase your chances: Achieving vaginal orgasm is more likely the longer the sex lasts, according to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Aim for about 15 minutes and, if it works for you, switch sex positions often. “This reduces the chance of your man ‘closing the deal’ too soon and helps your body experience new and fresh sensations,” says Michael Alvear, author of Not Tonight Dear, I Feel Fat. A warming lubricant can also help; try glycerin-free, water-based Pink Hot Pink Warming Lubricant for Women ($14.36, pinkapple.com).

Blended Orgasm

Experts say a combined clitoral and vaginal orgasm is the most powerful finale (it can be twice as strong and intense as either orgasm is by itself). “You’re getting the best of both worlds,” explains Cynthia Lief Ruberg, a certified sex therapist in Columbus, Ohio.

Techniques to try: The girl-on-top position is popular for a reason—it’s perfect for the double-whammy finish. But you can also try sitting on your partner’s lap facing away from him (he can stimulate your clitoris while you control the thrusting). Or, for a twist on missionary, have your guy inch his body up so your hips are aligned, and tilt your pelvis upward so that the base of his penis is on your clitoris but the rest of him is inside you. “In this position, he’s not really thrusting up and down, but rather grinding against your pelvic bone,” says Ruberg.

Increase your chances: “A blended orgasm is easier if the woman becomes very aroused before she has intercourse,” says Ruberg. Go full throttle with foreplay—lots of kissing, touching, licking, and massaging all over your bodies—and if you feel your enthusiasm waning during intercourse, go back to the heavy petting. To help your partner out a bit, tell him or her to bust out these 10 Sex Tips for Your Top Erogenous Zones All Over Your Body. (Then maybe repay the favor with these 10 Sex Tips for HIS Top Erogenous Zones!)

Multiple Orgasms

To be clear, multiple orgasms happen one right after the next, not at different times in one session (although those are great too). Studies show that multiple orgasms are possible for some women if they can withstand being continuously stimulated after their first (and second and. . .) “finishes.”

Techniques to try: Starting in foreplay, have your guy get you to your first clitoral climax using his hands or mouth (or a vibrator). Immediately afterward, he should continue to stimulate your C-spot in a slower manner for about 30 seconds, and then resume a normal pace to get you to a repeat performance. “He’s playing with your level of arousal from a heightened orgasmic state by giving your erogenous area a rest, as it may be overly sensitive to stimulation, and then increasing arousal again,” says Amy Levine, a sex coach in New York City and founder of IgniteYourPleasure.com. From there, begin intercourse, which can lead to multiple vaginal or blended orgasms, using the same technique of slowing down and speeding up, as long as you keep the stimulation going and your arousal high.

Increase your chances: If you’re feeling too sensitive, ask him to continue stroking your clitoris over a buffer like a soft silk camisole or panties, or have him switch his focus to your breasts and nipples. Cooper says touching these after climax can push some women to yet another O. (A nipplegasm? True thing, and nothing routine about that.)

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Julia Leigh’s “Sleeping Beauty” Film Subverts Traditional Sexual Politics and Why We Should Care

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

Are you sleeping through power and consent dynamics?

Leigh has interesting things to say about who wields the male gaze, power and consent.

In the opening scene of Julia Leigh’s 2011 erotic drama “Sleeping Beauty,” we see a researcher wearing a white lab coat guiding a long tube down college student Lucy’s (Emily Browning) throat. Lucy sits perfectly still, with only intermittent gagging as slight signs of resistance.

This scene isn’t sexy (though of course some might disagree), but it tells the audience some key concepts. First, the facts about Lucy’s personality: Loner. Passive. Emotionless. We see how these traits play out in her future. Then there’s the power and sexual dynamics at play: Lucy, the woman, receives from the man, who gives. Throughout the film, these dynamics twist and turn, fighting for supremacy.

Lucy works odd jobs and, like many a broke college student, is always on the lookout for extra cash. She answers a want-ad, and meets with Clara (Rachael Blake), the madam of the operation. Lucy’s job will be to provide silver service (essentially, high-end waitressing) for rich clients, working in a team with other girls. And she does this a few times. After she’s proven herself, Lucy is offered a more lucrative gig: Sleep in bed for one night while a male client can do anything he likes with her, except no penetration and later, leaving no marks on her body.

This film displays its sensuality openly. Leigh has interesting things to say about who wields the male gaze, traditional sexual politics, and consent.

When Lucy arrives for an initial interview with Clara, Clara asks after her health and then asks Lucy to strip down to her bra and underwear. Clara’s male assistant then lightly runs his hands over Lucy’s body, with Clara watching from the side (after lightly cupping Lucy’s breast). Lucy remains motion- and emotionless during this inspection, passive to the end.

Any woman has probably felt the way Lucy felt in this moment: frozen to the spot while being visually dissected. But the other male gaze in the room comes from a woman: Madam Clara eyes Lucy keeping in mind what her clients will like. It adds an unexpected energy and another dimension to the scene.

The silver service scenes are overtly erotic, with Lucy clad in white lingerie and the other girls in black strappy one-pieces with their breasts exposed. This world’s sexual politics are called out from the beginning, with Lucy and the other girls serving a dinner to a group of older men. But Leigh subtly subverts this old boys’ club feeling by giving an older woman a seat at that dining room table. It lends a frisson of tension that this exclusive club admits women, and leads the audience to wonder what might have been, or what could be.

Once Lucy consents to the sleeping gigs, another sexual dynamic plays out. Lucy, while sleeping, is completely passive (which was her choice, as she took the job). This point is hammered home by the men who pass through the bedroom and are curious to see just how “asleep” this beautiful girl is. They push the boundaries: yelling at her, roughly moving her body around, one even burning her with the lit end of his cigarette. It can be hard to watch. Violence can be the flip side of sexual expression, and the two are closely linked in this film.

Lucy’s final action of the film is screaming hysterically, due to an unexpected event. It’s a significant moment: It’s the first time we see Lucy experience such intense emotion, that she makes the choice to feel something. It also happens right when she wakes up. It’s an apt metaphor for the film itself: After being thrust into a world where nontraditional sexual and power dynamics are the norm, you’re thrown back into reality. The dream is gone, and it’s time to wake up.