Love Archives - Page 9 of 9

The Happiest Moment of My Life (So Far) Was With Those I’ll Love Forever

March 2, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

No, it’s not what you think. The happiest moment of my life so far was a day I felt unequivocally carefree with friends I love.

The happiest moment of my life so far wasn’t the day my boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend. Sure, that was a very happy time, but the one I’m about to tell you about was a different kind of love.

It wasn’t the day we got my dog Moe either. That too was a wonderful moment I’ll always remember. This day happened on vacation in Europe with my two best friends when I was in my mid-20s.

Here is a snippet of a time in my life I felt truly, utterly happy.

Many would probably expect me to answer this question as the day I met my boyfriend, or the day I got my dog, or perhaps something involving my family. Sure, those days are all joyful ones in my life of course, but there’s one moment in one day that I remember feeling truly and incredibly happy. I’ve always considered myself a happy person but this particular moment stood out for me for the past six years as my happiest.

It was the summer I turned 26 and I was on my first trip across the world, to Munich, Germany, Brussels, Belgium and Paris, France. A self-described hopeless romantic, I was so excited to be in Paris. I was on this trip of a lifetime with my two best friends, both males.

The three of us had become a The Hangover-like trio, even nicknaming ourselves after characters in the movie. We were constantly on all kinds of adventures. I felt safe and secure with the two, and had been in love with both of them (and very briefly dated one) at some point over the eight years previous. I was dating another man at the time and was eager to get away for a bit as I wasn’t sure exactly if I was all that excited about him (we ended up breaking up later that fall).

We gallivanted all around Paris for three glorious days. It was the time before ISIS threatened in the shadows and we could safely walk the streets without any worry. I remember seeing Versailles, Notre Dame and the Moulin Rouge. One evening, the three of us were sitting outside one of the quintessential Parisian cafés, sipping beers while taking a break from sightseeing. We were laughing hysterically at excerpts from my diary, which I had brought along to chronicle my European travels.

After some loud stomach rumbling, we all agreed it was time to find somewhere to eat dinner. We stumbled upon a small and cozy-looking restaurant tucked into a corner of Paris, near the Sainte-Chapelle. From the outside, there’s nothing all that special about L’Auberge Café. Its brown and beige exterior is elegant but not too fancy.

Either way, we were excited about finally getting some food and the menu posted outside looked good. When we sat down, we took in the rustic atmosphere at the quiet restaurant. It was intimate and homey, a completely perfect surprise to us.

The dinner we had that night was for lack of a better term, incredible. There wasn’t anything too fancy about it either but it hands down was one of the most delicious meals I’ve ever had in my almost 33 years.

I had a beef tenderloin, potatoes, peas and onions in a dark, savory sauce. My one friend dined on duck, a signature entrée of the restaurant and the other chose a fish fillet. We sampled fresh prawns, spicy gazpacho and an absolutely to die for molten chocolate dome dessert with the most decadent of melted French dark chocolate inside. With a bottle of the house wine, we made sure to make it a truly incredible night.

I know what you’re thinking—this doesn’t seem like it deserves the title “happiest moment of your life.” The funny thing is, despite how brief that dinner was in the hindsight of things, while I was sitting there I felt truly completely happy. It was a moment of my life I will remember forever. It was young enough not to have to worry too much about the future but old enough to truly appreciate that moment in time.

Now, whenever I am feeling anxious or just need to take a moment to close my eyes and relax, I always recall that dinner with my two best friends in one of my favorite cities in the world—remembering what it feels like to be completely, unapologetically happy.

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These Inspirational Celebrity Couples Will Fill Your Heart With Love

March 13, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kelley Lynnin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

With the recent passing of Valentine’s Day, and this month being The Oscars, I thought it might be uplifting, hopeful, and fun, to create a list of famous or celebrity couples that feel inspirational and exude positivity in some way.

In Hollywood, hearing about couples separating, or bouncing from partner to partner, is practically commonplace these days.

The list below are couples from all walks of life, famous or well-known for different reasons/things, and are, at the time of publication, still together.

While I cannot guarantee these couples will remain together forever, I will say that right now, on this day, they definitely inspire me, for many various reasons. Some got together out of difficult circumstances, others use their love and influence to help other people, while some seem to have a really beautiful and genuine love story.

Let’s take a look at some of the famous couples in the modern day age, that have given me inspiration about love. And if you want to speed up your search for the kind of love that lasts, let us help you! Join LOVE TV today.

Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan:

The couple first met on the set of Family Ties, back in 1982, started dating a few years later, and have been going strong ever since. This year, they will celebrate 30 years of marriage, with 4 children between them.

Fox told People magazine that one of the things that keeps their relationship strong, is keeping “separate bathrooms and separate DVRS, because we don’t watch a lot of the same shows, and knowing what goes on in the bathroom with your partner, sort of kills the mood in the bedroom.” I agree totally!

Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in 1991, and the couple decided to go public with it in 1998. In living with this disease, the couple feels they have grown closer over the years and through the hardships.

Pollen told Oprah Winfrey in an interview that it is because of Fox’s positive and realistic attitude about his condition, that they are able to live life with joy. Eventually, Michael stepped into his new role as founder of the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, where he and Tracy have been able to create great change and hope for thousands of people.

Fox is dedicated to finding a cure, through aggressively funded research. To date, the foundation has been able to award $56 million and counting, in grants, to accelerate Parkinson’s research.

Tracy and Michael are an inspiration, because they have longevity and love, through incredibly difficult times. They work as a team to give hope to themselves and others.

George and Amal Clooney:

This is one supercouple who uses their collective influence to make great change in the world.

Even before he met Amal, Clooney was always known as a bit of an activist in the Hollywood world, and a man with a big selfless heart. So, it seems almost fitting that after years of being an unmarried bachelor dating lots of different women, he would end up with a powerful human-rights lawyer, someone who worked on the famous Enron case, and fights for Syrian refugees, and against genocide.

Clooney met Amal without ever having to leave his house, because why should he have to go out and find love like the rest of us? He was sitting at home one July day in 2013, when his agent called and said he had a friend he was going to bring over for dinner, and told George “this is the woman you are going to marry.”

After a long friendship through emails, they fell in love while Clooney was filming a movie at Abbey Road, in London. He invited Amal to come watch, meet him for lunch, and the rest is history.

“How do you impress someone who has fought on behalf of victims of ISIS? Bring them to Abbey Road, I guess”, Clooney has joked.

In April of 2014, Clooney proposed in his L.A. home, over homemade pasta dinner (he cooks too)! Ever the romantic, he got down on one knee in his dining room, with a 7-karat diamond ring, while his Aunt Rosemary Clooney’s song “Why Shouldn’t I?” played in the background.

They married in Venice, Italy, in front of friends and family.

The pair unexpectedly had 2 kids, and Clooney, who is 17 years older than his wife, is now a dad in his late 50’s, and loving it. The two spend their time working, raising their family, and giving back in several ways.

Most recently, they took in a teenage Syrian refugee boy, who who had escaped war, poverty, and genocide. This couple is an inspiration because they found love later in life (especially George), and they genuinely care about others, and about doing their part to make the world a better place.

Ellen and Portia DeGeneres:

The two prominent female figures had met a few times at events over the years, but the timing was never right. Then, in 2005, at a photo shoot, they connected again, and Portia said later of Ellen: “She took my breath away.”

By 2006, they were sharing a home, a ranch, and several rescue animals they took in as pets. In fact, the couple has devoted much of their life and time together to rescuing animals, and giving back.

The couple is also known for being historic. When they first got together, gay marriage was still not legal in the state of California. On May 15th, 2008, after the California Supreme Court struck down a law blocking gay marriage as unconstitutional, Ellen announced on the air of her Daytime Emmy Award winning talk show, that the two would marry. She and Portia got married August 16, 2008, at her Beverly HIlls estate.

The couple remains very much in love, and both have given back to the community in so many ways. DeGeneres, as well as winning over 16 Emmys Awards for her show, Ellen, has earned her reputation as one of the most giving celebrities ever, donating millions of dollars over the years to help animals, kids, and education.

She and Portia have vocally fought on behalf of many causes from endangered elephants to LGBTQI rights.

This couple is inspirational to me, because they care so much, they take action, and they work so well together as a team, in support of each other. IT has been beautiful to watch.

Barack and Michelle Obama:

Their story began early, when a young Michelle was assigned to mentor a young Barack, at a Chicago law firm. The two connected, but kept things professional. Their first date, later on, was seeing the film “Do the Right Thing” in 1989.

They dated for three years, and married in 1992. A campaign run, 2 kids, and a Presidency with 8 years in the White House later, the Obamas now live in a regular house of their own, just a few miles down the road from that famous address.

There are a few reasons I chose them. I don’t think I have ever seen a couple, especially one in politics, that is so very obviously, deeply in love with one another. The hundreds of pictures taken of them together by the White House photographers, show one thing for certain; there is a very real and genuine love between these two.

Second, they are one of the few couples in the White House, to never have any major scandals or weirdness surrounding their relationship. No affairs, no bad behaviors with interns, no disrespect toward one another, none of that.

Whenever you hear former President Obama speak of his wife Michelle, it is always with great admiration, respect, and romance. He lights up when he talks about her. This goes the opposite way as well. Michelle has said that not only was Barack a great President, but a wonderful father, husband, and man.

They are historic in every way. The first black president. The first black first lady. The first African-American family in the White House. And just like with their marriage, their children also seem to be respectful and lovely people.

They seem like a family of people I’d love to hang out with. Michelle and Barack seem like the real deal — just regular folk, who happen to have been our president and first lady, for 8 historic years.

They are inspirational because they changed what was possible in America. They gave us hope and they continue to try and make change when it comes to our country’s future.

These are the couples I chose to highlight, but several others also come to mind with Honorable Mentions, such as: Meryl Streep and Don Gummer, Katie Couric and John Molner, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, and Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos.

What couples would you choose to add to this list as inspirational or hopeful in some way? Why did you choose them? Add your favorite famous couples below!

Falling in Love Onstage: Finding My Lover Through the Magic of Theatre

March 30, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I’ve been a performer for my entire life. Now, I’ve met my love thanks to the theatre.

A majority of my friends are involved in the theatre scene, which isn’t especially surprising since I was part of a theatre troupe in high school and studied theatre in New York City. It also isn’t especially surprising that the only people I’ve really dated have been involved in the entertainment world as well.

High school and college was filled with romantic drama surrounding my theatre crushes. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of falling for people that have played my onstage love interests a few times. Onstage chemistry is very important to me, and sometimes those feelings bleed into real life.

Do I always act on it? No. That would be unprofessional. But I have slipped up once or twice.

However, there was one time where it was actually successful. I met my dream man through my “Rocky Horror” shadowcast. Which was, in all honesty, something that I expected would happen since I was a kid. Rocky is incredibly important to me, and there’s no way I could have ever dated someone that didn’t like it.

I met Chris a little after I joined Rocky around last year. We had known of each other in passing at cons and such, but didn’t become friends at first. One of the few times we did talk was via Facebook message, where he gave me advice about how to construct a costume piece. I didn’t think anything of it.

Around the time I joined his cast was when we really became friends. I had a falling out with a few friends, so I turned to him for help getting through the tough time. We ended up quickly becoming best friends, with me staying at his house often and going on adventures constantly. He treated me well, but again, I didn’t think anything of it in a romantic sense.

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Then the on-stage romance began.

A few months into our friendship, I started playing Columbia. He plays Eddie, so it made perfect sense that he would be performing with me in my first show. I was so nervous about the performance, and I couldn’t put my finger on why. Something just felt weird about playing my best friend’s girlfriend. Maybe it was a subconscious thing, who knows.

Cut to a month later, and we’re dating. After a three-show day in late October (our prime season), we realized we had something more to our relationship and took it to the next level.

Now, Chris and I have performed together as Eddie and Columbia with three different casts, traveling as far as Toronto.

It’s an interesting life we have, being two performers who date, not to mention live together. Our life consists of making costume pieces, constantly practicing at home in front of the TV, and me reminding him which days he’s performing (I’ve become almost his Rocky secretary in that sense).

Before every show, we usually get ready at home, me sitting in front of a mirror for an hour trying to cover my eyebrows with a glue stick, and him making sure his beloved leather vest is good to go.

Doing Rocky on tour feels akin to being in a traveling circus, and it can be a very high-strung and energetic environment. For that, I am grateful for Chris. He keeps me grounded through all of the stress of performing, and it’s comforting to know that whenever I feel insecure or nervous on stage, he’s right up there with me.

Even when one of us isn’t performing, the other is usually in the audience showing support. The amount of pride I feel when I’m in the crowd watching him emcee a show is like nothing else, in fact, I usually tend to turn to the person next to me and say something along the lines of “He’s so weird. I’m so proud of him.”

Once the show’s over, and after we’ve had a traditional late night breakfast with our castmates, we usually go home and immediately pass out. We tend to spend the rest of the next day at home, doing chores and watching “Friday the 13th” movies like the homebodies we truly are. It’s important to find balance.

I’m eternally grateful for the life I currently live. I get to write all day, perform all night, and get to do it alongside the love of my life. It honestly everything I could have asked for, and it’s only the beginning. We have plans to travel all around the world to perform, and we hope to continue doing for as long as we possibly can.

How a Little Bit of Appreciation Can Change Everything in Love

April 19, 2018January 22, 2024 by Sierra Mercierin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

True Love Lessons: Appreciation

I believe it has the ability to transform and heal ANYTHING!

Appreciation in a partnership is something that can revolutionized your relationship.

Do you ever find yourself dwelling on the things you feel your partner did wrong or maybe didn’t do at all? The next time one of those thoughts arises immediately turn your focus to something you appreciate about your partner. The more you do this, the more all you will see are the things you appreciate.

This little exercise isn’t meant to replace dialogue or communication in any way. It’s only meant to get your mind in the mode of appreciating. Which, like I mentioned earlier can TRANSFORM AND HEAL ANYTHING!

You can incorporate appreciation into every aspect of your life. Appreciate your body and all the incredible workings it contains.

..the safe roof over your head… the food you put on your table or your clean running water…

…the shoes on your feet…

I promise you, once you get started on this list, it will be pages, and pages long.

Expanding our appreciation causes everything around us to glow with LOVE!

Tune in next time to the ‘True Love Lessons and Confessions with Sierra’.

How Reducing Stress Completely Changed My Relationships

May 30, 2018January 22, 2024 by Lindsay Hayesin LOVE, Mind, RELATIONSHIPS, Wellness

We all live complicated lives working hard and playing hard. But when stress tarts to take its toll, here is what you can do to keep your relationships solid.

Stress sucks. What I didn’t know was that it was tearing my relationships apart. Work stress, health problems, and life seem to have ganged up and attacked all at once. The stress and negativity quickly gave way to relationships woes.

We have to be on our A game for our clients, colleagues, boss, etc. By the time many of us get around to spending time with our SO, we don’t have much left to give. The sad truth is, the people most important to us often get our worst selves. Their unconditional love means we sometimes take the “unconditional” part for granted.

Being in love doesn’t actually mean your SO is going to stick around forever if things go south. I was unhappy, which meant he was unhappy. Things had to change. If you’re in the same boat, don’t forget we’ve got a way to help. Join LOVETV today.

So I did some research. There are lots of articles about how to de-stress. I read many of them and applied what I could to my life. Here’s what happened:

1.Finding the positive meant we were less defensive with each other.

When you complain about everything all the time, it’s easy for your friends and lover to start wondering if you’re complaining about them too. After all, if nothing makes you happy, how can they have a shot?

I made an active effort to find the positive, to appreciate it, and voice that appreciation. When I stopped complaining I eventually noticed he no longer said things like “don’t get mad but” or “don’t take this the wrong way.” Simply because I had stopped automatically taking it the wrong way.

2.Vent productively

We all need to vent. But that doesn’t give you permission to go on, and on, and on, and on about Bob or Phil at work who constantly interrupts you and talks like she’s explaining quantum physics to a 5 year old.

It’s better to express your frustration concisely and move on to more interesting conversation. This allows your SO to commiserate and then learn about the delicious lunch you had at a new place.

3.Create space to recharge

Beautiful young couple is drinking coffee talking and smiling while sitting near the window at home

When I read this my first thought was “impossible!” But then I broke down my average day and started to see where I would rearrange, reconsider, and remove some busyness. Could I give up an hour of Netflix for a long shower or warm bath? What if instead of coming home and immediately starting laundry, I did yoga for 20 minutes? Too much laundry? Maybe you can do yoga (or whatever makes you smile) while the washer is doing it’s thing.

Now when my SO comes home, instead of being drained from going from my day job to chores at home, I’m actually smiling.

4.Find a hobby you enjoy

When busyness is causing you stress, it seems odd that the answer is to add one more thing to your day. But the importance and benefit of hobbies can’t be overstated. If all you do is work of course you’re unhappy!

There were two immediate benefits of taking up a hobby. The first was that it forced some boundaries with my work schedule. Sure I could work an 11 hour day but I’m someone’s belay partner at our rock climbing gym, so they’ll have to make do with 9 (or even 8) hours.

And since I found a hobby I could do with my SO, it gave us something to smile about and new fun friends to talk to.

5.Express Gratitude

You’ve heard it a million times but that is because it’s so important. Why are you with him or her? Seriously, stop reading for a few seconds and think about their best qualities.

When is the last time you told them this? Find everyday, little ways to acknowledge what you like about him or her. Who doesn’t want a sincere compliment from someone important in their lives?

Stress sucks but it’s also a choice. You can get through your day and feel like crap because you’re dealing with crap. Or you can stop concentrating on the crap, take care of yourself, notice the good things, and maybe end the day with a smile when you cuddle up next to your sweetheart. It’s totally up to you.

Why the Advice “You’ll Find Love When You Stop Looking” Could be More Harmful Than Helpful

June 12, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

This cliché line is helping exactly… no one. So why are we still saying it?

When you’re single and looking for love, you’re bound to hear some useless (and cliché) dating advice.

You might be familiar with famous eye-rollers such as: “You just need to get out more” or “Just have fun, don’t overthink it.” Sigh.

But one piece of advice sticks out to me as particularly unhelpful: “You’ll find love when you stop looking.”

Don’t get me wrong, I understand where this idea comes from. After all, it sort of makes sense: if you’re not stressed out about finding love you’ll probably feel more relaxed, conversations will feel less forced, and you might even be more likely to take chances.

But there’s a problem with this “stop looking” logic.

Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a relationship expert (best known for Lifetime’s Married at First Sight), points out that it’s like saying, “You’ll find a job when you’re least looking for it.”

“It’s possible,” she says, “but rarely happens.” She adds that,“For the most part, people who wait for a job are unemployed. For me, it’s just an excuse for being scared to go and put the effort in. Yes, it happens, but no, it’s not a good strategy.”

And sure, maybe one day someone great will fall into your lap: you’ll have instant chemistry, everything in common, and the two of you will live happily ever after. We’ve all heard stories where something like that happens to a friend of a friend, so I guess it’s possible.

But you shouldn’t bet on it.

People like to say things like “stop looking for love” because trying to find a great relationship is hard and not finding someone after putting yourself out there can be disappointing. You could potentially do everything right: you could introduce yourself to new people, go on dating sites, join clubs, go on blind dates, and still not have that special someone to bring to your cousin’s wedding.

It can be disheartening, scary, and disappointing to be out there looking for love knowing that there are no guarantees when it comes to relationships. Dating can make anyone feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. So, taking a step back and saying “Psh, I’m not even looking for love right now” might seem like a good way to make sure you aren’t disappointed.

But stopping the search isn’t the answer.

In fact, putting yourself out there and setting yourself up for disappointment is part of the whole “relationship” thing. Looking for love and finding is all about leaning into the scary stuff: putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, and taking chances. And that doesn’t end once you get into a relationship.

In fact, it’s usually just the beginning.

I met my fiancé in high school. We’ve been together for almost a decade now and in just a couple months we’ll be getting married. I know how uncommon it is to marry your high school sweetheart (in fact, it’s statistically ridiculous). So, for a long time I thought we were the poster couple for the “you’ll find love when you’re not looking” philosophy.

After all, people were always saying I was so lucky to have found my future husband so early in life. And I am lucky. I’m blessed with a great relationship with an amazing guy, but our relationship isn’t based on luck or chance. We didn’t get to 10 years by accident.

We choose each other.

We’ve been together for so long because every day we make the choice to be together. We make ourselves vulnerable every day: taking risks and making compromises. We make plans around each other. We have love because we truly and completely want it, and are willing to work for it.

I like Dr. Pepper Schwartz’s advice because I think that getting into a relationship is a lot like landing an amazing job. To get that job you’re probably going to have to put in a lot of effort: you’ll need to go back to school or get some training. You’re going to need to do some research and improve your skills.

You might even need to update your résumé, get a new suit, and all-around make yourself a good candidate for the job. And if you don’t get one job, it could be embarrassing or disheartening, but soon you’ll find a new one and you’ll apply for that too.

But the important thing is that it doesn’t get easier once you finally do get hired. It’s really only then when the real work starts. That’s when you have to start making compromises, focusing more time on your career, and working hard to make the relationship…I mean job… great.

You can’t be afraid to do all the things you need to do to find a partner, because that same stuff is required to maintain the relationship. This idea that singles should stop looking, that they’ll get more out of trying less is only setting people up for disappointment and bad relationships… and that isn’t fair.

Like I said, when you’re single, you’re going to get all kinds of bad advice. But the idea of trying less is probably one of the worst.

Maybe there is no great advice that works for everyone, no magic words of wisdom to guarantee everyone exactly the relationship they want. But, I’ve found that if you can take the risks and do the work to find someone special, you’ll be ready for the relationship, and the love, you deserve.

Arranged Marriages and Problem Solving: Is TV’s ‘Married at First Sight’ on to Something?

September 28, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

It might seem like just another reality show… but Married at First Sight brings up important points about love and relationships.

Recently I’ve been obsessed with Lifetime’s hit Married at First Sight, now in its 7th season. In this reality show, relationship experts match three sets of strangers who have agreed to meet (and marry) their future spouse at the altar. The show follows the first months of their marriages, and in the final episode, the couples decide if they want to stay married or get a divorce.

At first, the show’s concept sounded absurd to me.

It used to be that reality shows were about answering quiz questions or eating worms… not getting married. Sure, there were relationship shows— but signing up to play The Dating Game or going on NEXT was one thing. Getting legally married on TV? To a stranger? That’s another.

But after watching a few episodes, I started to think that maybe these couples aren’t so crazy after all. It occured to me that maybe this show was on to something. Here are the top four relationship lessons I learned from Married at First Sight:

1. Looks (really) aren’t everything

Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of single friends swipe left on potential matches because, “her hair is weird” or because, “I don’t like his nose.”

With all these dating apps where the picture pops up first, it’s almost too easy to make decisions based on appearance. But Married at First Sight proves that looks aren’t always a good indication of a good match.

Season 1 star Jamie didn’t like her husband when they first met. She wasn’t attracted to him physically and, on day one, considered giving up on her marriage. But it’s lucky she didn’t, because today, they’re one of the show’s greatest success stories. Jamie and Doug are one of the few couples from the show who are still married, and now they have a baby girl.

Meanwhile, Season 2 stars Davina and Sean were immediately attracted to each other when they met at their wedding—but things went bad quickly. They fought about where to live and ended up barely seeing each other over the course of the show. Their passion fizzled out and it was no surprise when they got a divorce.

Whether this changes the way you Tinder (or not) it’s definitely something to think about. It’s funny to think that if Jamie had first seen her now-husband Doug on a dating app, she would have swiped left and that would have been the end of it. But if Davina and Sean had seen each other on an app they probably would have been a match.

It’s proof that looks can be deceiving.

2. It doesn’t always matter how long you’ve been together

When it comes down to it, the show is simply about arranged marriages, a tradition that was very popular for many generations and is still practiced today. While a match maker can’t always guarantee marital bliss, there were (and are) many loving, life-long, arranged marriages.

But even if you’re not up for the whole arranged marriage thing, there’s a lot to be learned by watching these Married at First Sight couples because, as it turns out, their relationships aren’t that much different from many other new marriages.

They still have to worry about finances, their living situation, and family planning. They also set goals together and they enjoy their honeymoon phase… just like any other married couple. Of course, these TV spouses have the added challenge of not knowing each other well, and that can add a lot of stress, but a lot of their issues, problems, and even their joys are similar to ones any newly married couple would have.

When I started watching Married at First Sight, I thought I would have nothing in common with these people who were marrying strangers… after all, my husband and I were together for nearly ten years before we got married. But as it turns out, I definitely saw similarities.

When Ashley and Anthony from Season 5 were decorating their new place together with mementos from their wedding, it reminded me of the fun my husband and I had putting up wedding pictures. When Mia and Tristan from Season 7 first considered moving for Tristan’s work, it reminded me of how hard it was for my husband and I to decide to move.

Like anyone trying to make a life together, these new couples practice communicating, try to account for each others’ needs, and even learn how to best show affection. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how long a couple has been dating, marriage will always carry new challenges, new perks, and plenty of changes.

3. In a relationship, and especially a marriage, it’s important to not give up too fast

Throughout the show, every couple hits roadblocks. They fight about where they’ll live and how many kids they want. They argue about families and chores and careers—all typical things for couples to clash on at one point or another—but that doesn’t make it any easier. Like many couples who are faced with one of their first big disagreements, they sometimes talk about calling it quits.

Of course, these Married at First Sight couples can’t do that so easily. They’re married (and, I suppose, have a TV contract) so they can’t simply walk out of each other’s lives. But in typical new relationships, a lot of people decide to do just that.

Shawniece and Jephte from Season 6 had some issues early on, mainly about Jephte not opening up. Shawniece would get frustrated and start saying that she couldn’t be in a relationship with Jephte if he didn’t change. There would be a lot of tension, like they were about to break up, but after a talk, or a counselling session with one of the show’s relationship experts, the problem would be solved and everything would be fine.

The problem, which had seemed like grounds for divorce at the time, ended up being nothing. In fact, a lot of times those fights ended up being an opportunity to bond and get to know each other better.

It’s important to remember that sometimes small arguments can seem like a big deal, but that doesn’t mean you’re incompatible or you can’t build a relationship. Shawniece and Jephte ended up staying together after the show ended, and now have a baby on the way.

4. Know when to not waste your time

While Shawniece and Jephte made it work, that doesn’t mean that sticking with a relationship is always the right choice. Some couples are simply not meant to be together, sometimes people change, and often breakups and divorces are the best option.

Season 6 couple Molly and Jonathan had a difficult time from the beginning. Molly didn’t feel comfortable getting physical, they had explosive fights, and it seemed like they never got along. So, it was no surprise when they decided to get divorced before the show ended.

They knew that the marriage wasn’t going to work and they didn’t want to waste their time. They came to the season finale to talk about their decision and left on good terms.

While there is value in not giving up on a relationship, of maximizing the best parts of your chemistry and not dwelling on your challenges, there is a point where a couple has to acknowledge when they’re simply not compatible.

While you may want to put all your energy and time into a relationship to try to make it work, sometimes you shouldn’t. And that’s okay.

These Married at First Sight stars took a big risk when they agreed to marry a stranger, and while most of us would never agree to get married at first sight, we can still learn something from these couples. Their relationships show viewers how to get passed differences, how to find and create love, and how to create a life together. Not every relationship is built to last, but some are worth fighting for, and I think, in the end, that’s all that really matters.

12 Telling Signs That You Should Let Your Relationship Go

January 22, 2019January 22, 2024 by Becca Martinin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes letting go is easier than hanging on to someone that no longer serves you.

I’m a relationship person through and through. I will always root for relationships because I know I am much happier when I am sharing my life with someone, but that doesn’t always mean the person you’re with is the right person for you or that it works.

Letting go of a relationship and a life with someone is an extremely challenging thing to do but staying in that relationship when you’re more often than not having thoughts of doubt about it can be equally as challenging. The decision and thought process of knowing when it’s time to let go of your relationship is different for everyone, but here are some signs it might be time to let go.

You keep trying to go back to the way things were. You more often than not find yourself looking back at the beginning of the relationship instead of looking forward to the future together. You find yourself talking about the way things used to be and you fear you can never get back to that. You avoid questions about engagements, weddings and kids like they’re the plague.
One of you is always trying to change the other. I’ve struggled with this with nearly every partner I’ve had, I go for people who I think I can fix or change, and I can’t. One partner even called me out for it and said, “why can’t you just accept me for who I am? Maybe I have something to offer you.” He was right. Trying to change someone or project your point of views onto them isn’t fair. Having the urge to constantly change someone will leave you with disappointment and them with resentment toward you. You have to accept your partner for who they are and if you can’t you have to let them go. You can’t change people, it’s as simple as that.
The fighting has become constant. You feel like you’re arguing more than you’re talking. You’re always super cautious and filter your thoughts and feelings because you don’t want to set them off. You’re essentially walking on eggshells around your partner, and that’s not healthy. Filtering your thoughts and emotions to keep them from exploding it not ok.
You feel your needs aren’t being met. You no longer feel fulfilled in your relationship and you’ve tried explaining to your partner what you need but it doesn’t seem to affect anything, at least not for more than a few days or weeks at a time. Then things go back to the way they were and you’re finding yourself bringing it up again. Some people aren’t capable of loving you the way you need and it’s not their fault. We all have different needs and love languages, and sometimes you fall in love with someone who can’t meet those needs. It sucks but you have to accept that they can’t give you what you need, and that has to be ok.
You don’t listen to each other. I’ve dated a couple of people where all we do is circle the drain. We have the same conversations which lead to the same fights and the same feelings of disappointment because we can’t get on the same page. We each have different expectations and wants of the relationship, and we simply can’t communicate effectively enough to come to an understanding. It’s like, you hear what each other is saying but you’re not actively listening or at least understanding the information your partner is explaining. You feel like you’re constantly repeating yourself and explaining the same things to them but it just doesn’t get through. This builds more frustration in the relationship which often leads to more fighting or built up resentment.
You make excuses for their behavior. This is always a red flag. I dated a guy once who I realized had a drinking problem. Every time we did anything we drank, even at the dog park he would bring beer, and I’d make excuses for him in front of my friends. I dated another guy who would get angry and make a scene, I’d find myself always making excuses for his behavior, too. If you’re finding yourself constantly trying to make your partner out to be better than they are to your friends and family then it’s a good idea to sit down and reflect on why you’re doing this. If everyone in your life has cautioned you about the relationship then you should reflect on what’s really going on and consider if they’re seeing something you’re pretending isn’t there.
You feel embarrassed by them. You feel like you can’t bring them to work events or family dinners because you’re excessively worried about what they might do. Whether that be to say something wildly inappropriate or get too drunk, you feel like you have to babysit them instead of just knowing things will be ok and that’s not a good feeling to have.
You keep them around because you feel like having someone is better than having no one. I dated someone years ago and the relationship should have ended a few months in. Even though I knew it should have ended I kept it going for another year and a half because the thought of going through the breakup process and being alone again terrified me. Was I happy? No, absolutely not. But I kept him around for the rare good moments and because I thought having someone was better than having no one, which is a terrible reason to stay with someone.
You feel there’s something more for you out there. You keep thinking there’s someone better for you than the person you’re currently with whether it’s because they don’t challenge you or fulfill you the way you need. You’re scared this is all it’s ever going to be with them, and you’re probably right. People get comfortable and the romance can die out, if you’re not feeling hopeful that you can spark it again or you’re constantly wondering if there’s something better for you, that’s a chance you might have to take.
The trust is gone. One of you did something to affect the trust in your relationship and it doesn’t feel like you can do anything to mend it back together. The other person keeps bringing it up and holding it over the other’s head. If you feel there’s no coming back from the broken trust then all you can do is leave, instead of constantly begging and trying to prove yourself time and time again.
You’re not being respected. The foundation of a relationship should be mutual respect because without respect you have nothing. If you’re feeling like your partner doesn’t respect you, or they belittle you, or don’t think you work as hard as them, or don’t appreciate when you do things for them than chances are they don’t respect you and they’re never going to start.
You’re not able to depend on them. You should be able to rely and depend on your partner when they say something to you. If they promise you they’ll be somewhere or do something at a certain time and they never follow through you can’t depend on them. You can have conversation after conversation about how it hurts your feelings but if they don’t respect you then they won’t make it a priority to be there when you need them. It’s as simple as their actions don’t match their words, and as much as they apologize they keep leaving you with the same lousy feeling over and over.

If you see your relationship in a lot of these bullets then it’s probably time to really consider letting go. Ending a relationship with someone you love, despite these points, will still be painful and heartbreaking, but if your gut is telling you it’s the right thing to do, it’s time to listen.

Next article: 11 Relationship Problems That Might Be Sabotaging Your Love Life

15 Ways to Throw an Epic Galentine’s Day

February 11, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

The unofficial February 13th holiday Galentine’s Day has become a fun way to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your squad.

When I first saw the Parks and Recreation episode where Leslie Knope invites her girl squad out for a Galentine’s Day breakfast, I was intrigued by the idea. In the nearly decade old (!!) episode, Amy Poehler’s iconic character says, “Oh, it’s only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It’s like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas.”

Here are 15 fun ways to throw an epic Galentine’s Day with your ladies.

1. Go axe throwing.

All the rage lately, axe throwing is a great way to unleash your inner badass. There are multiple locations around the country. While our moms threw darts in bars, we get to throw small axes into a dartboard. This one is especially fun to take newly single friends to.

2. Take a Pound class.

If you’re still wondering what class Chrissy Metz’s character Kate takes in This is Us, it’s called Pound. Using drumsticks, class members can rock out to music and sculpt their arms into Michelle Obama-worthy oblivion.

3. Attend a concert.

There’s nothing more fun and spontaneous than going to a live show. Websites like Jambase.com and Songkick.com are great ways to look up concerts in your area.

4. Throw an epic Grease-style slumber party.

Invite your friends over to sleep over like you did in junior high. Encourage them to bring fun Grease-style oversized Oxford shirts a la Rizzo or fun lingerie like Frenchie.

5. Channel Parks and Rec’s Tom and Donna and have a “treat yo self” day.

Ever since Parks and Recreation’s ultimate duo went on their “treat yo self” day, it’s been fun to celebrate with a day of excess. Grab your ladies and head to the mall for a day of shopping. Self-love is so important, so don’t be afraid to spend a bit of cash on yourself—you deserve it!

6. Host a potluck with foods you haven’t tried before.

Use Galentine’s Day to ask friends to bring over their favorite dish. Grab some wine and enjoy a night of catching up over new dishes.

7. Meet up at your favorite bar and play the Galentine’s Day Drinking Game.

It’s true—Buzzfeed created a drinking game involving the honorary holiday! Head to your favorite bar and bring a printout of the game to play while you’re sipping your favorite cocktails.

8. Go on an impromptu road trip.

I used to love taking a road trip to Virginia to a Taco Bell my friends and I loved in college. Even if it’s just a simple trip to get takeout, spend Galentine’s Day with your ladies on a spur-of-the-moment road trip.

9. Get fellow pet “moms” together for a photo shoot.

Organize an afternoon with your friends who are pet owners and use a camera to have a photo shoot with everyone’s furry friends.

10. Go old school with a crafting day.

Remember the days when you used to make friendship bracelets at recess? How about the handmade Valentines you used to create? Channel your inner elementary school kid and have a crafting day with your besties in honor of the day celebrating all things love.

11. Give back like Leslie Knope and volunteer.

Get your friends together for a day of volunteering. Pick up trash at your local park, work with kids or spend the day serving a meal at a homeless shelter. Whatever you do, make like Leslie Knope and be kind to others—spread love, it is Valentine’s Day after all!

12. Do a Secret Santa style gift exchange, Galentine’s style.

This time of year, stores like Target and Jo Ann Fabrics are teeming with adorable Valentine’s Day trinkets. Do a Secret Santa/Snowflake style gift exchange with your ladies and make it a small $10-$20 limit. Get ready to ooo and aww at cute mugs, necklaces, wall hangings and more.

13. Visit a nearby winery.

Celebrate Galentine’s Day this year at a local winery. If there aren’t any near you, plan a quick weekend getaway to one with your bffs.

14. Binge watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

Invite your girls to come over in their most comfortable sweats for a day of binge watching a show that celebrates women in a big way.

15. Head to a drag brunch.

Going to a drag brunch is something I’ve always wanted to do but never have had the chance to yet. Grab your group and head to your city’s nearest drag brunch for a seriously fun Galentine’s Day.

Throw an epic Galentine’s Day with these 15 fun ideas.

Gratitude for Non-Romantic Relationships: Embrace the Love in Your Life

November 28, 2019January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes we don’t have love like in the movies and it gets us down. You know?

Big sweeping, ring on fingers, declarations of happy ever after, or even someone to come home to each night. It’s natural to want something that you have been told you should have and something so many people around you have, but not having it does not mean there isn’t an abundance of love in your life.

For a very long time I could not see the love in my life, and I felt very alone. But, over time my brain started to clear up and I looked around and saw that I am surrounded by people who want me in their life. In accepting that there are people who love you, it opens you up to BE love to those around you.

Love doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. Here’s how to see the love you already have in your life.

Invitations

Your roommate who invites you to their game night. Sometimes we are annoyed by people who invite us to things we aren’t interested in instead of realizing that there is someone who wants our company. I’ve definitely made every effort to disconnect from people who want me to engage with them because sometimes it’s draining, but the overwhelming sense of despair that comes with the thought that no one cares about you is also draining!

So, say yes to game night.

Of course, you do not have to go to every game night you’re invited to, but what if you did just this once? Maybe it’ll be the most fun night or maybe it’ll be an okayish night but maybe it won’t hurt. I’ve made every effort to decline Dungeons and Dragons invites, but next time my roommate asks me I’m going to say yes!

Road Trips

Your co worker who you’ve known for years and are pretty friendly says they are going to Maine and they ask you if you want to come.

Now, you’ve never been to Maine. Heck, you’ve never been to The Bronx.

Your first instinct is to say no, because that is always your first instinct, but you’ve known this person for a while and you actually trust them enough and they’re sort of like your family.

Stephen King books are set in Maine and you love Stephen King. You tell yourself you don’t have enough money but maybe you do for a two day trip because you never spend the money doing anything else anyway!

The friend who invites you to Maine is saying to you, “I value your company and I value you enough to go on an adventure with you.”

Embrace Friend Fans

You’re a talented artist. You have an art exhibit coming up. Actually, you’ve had several art things over the years and your peers say they want to come see. You tell them no because “your work is not that good”, or “it’s uncomfortable having people you know judging your work” not realizing that ultimately they just want to support you.

Since you have art shows all around town maybe you’re actually quite good and your friends just want to be a part of something that matters to you. Even if you aren’t good it’s nice that people want to be apart of something that matters to you because they want to know what you care about and care about it too.

Let friends celebrate you.

Receive the Gift of a Playlist

Your sister keeps recommending artists she likes to you, but you really hate Jazz music. But, it’s kind of cool that someone says here are somethings I like I want you to like it too. Of course, you may never like Jazz, but maybe the sound may not be your forte but could the lyrics be? Maybe you can recommend your K-pop faves to your sister? She doesn’t like K-pop? That’s fine. You don’t like Jazz. But maybe knowing what each other loves is a step closer to bonding. Perhaps, you find that music is not where you click, but your both big fans of crochet and voila you’ve found a friend in your sister!

What I’m saying is love comes to us in many ways through many people and even if we don’t have romantic love, we can find good love in our lives: if we see it, if we accept it, if we engage.

I give thanks for love.

Getting Past 6-8 Weeks

July 22, 2020January 22, 2024 by Anna Morgensternin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I’ve seen quite a few relationships suddenly end after the first 6-8 weeks for many friends and clients. This is the first of three relationship hurdles. You’re still getting to know each other in the first 2 months and it should be the most fun time of a new relationship. Everything seems to be going great and then all of a sudden it ends and you have no idea why. You were spending more and more time together, making future plans and telling each other your hopes and dreams. Why the sudden cold shoulder?

This is the time where you both are figuring each other out. People tend to overlook some red flags early on because they are happy to have found someone to spend time with, rather than really evaluating the other person. I don’t recommend seeing each other more than twice a week in the first 2 months. While you may want to spend all of your time with this person, it’s good to take it slow and reflect if this is someone you want to invest in. Sit down and journal what you like about the relationship and how they make you feel. Do you feel secure and happy or do you feel confused and unsure how they feel about you? Many times the reason someone backs off early on is because they are feeling pressure from the other person and the relationship stops being fun. Think about why you might be pressuring the other person. Is this someone you really want to be in a serious relationship with or are you just scared you won’t find anyone else?

While you may have lots of questions, look for actions instead of answers. Everyone has experienced a relationship where the other person said all the right things but their actions didn’t meet their words. It’s much better to be with someone who shows you that they care, rather than just telling you. So instead of asking them where things are going and if they like you, look at how they treat you. Do they prioritize you? Do they try to do things to make you happy? Or are they making plans then bailing on you? There are plenty of people you could end up with so don’t stick with someone just to be with someone. If this person isn’t meeting your needs, ditch them and find someone who will. The sooner you get out of an unfulfilling relationship, the sooner you can enter one that will meet your needs. You have to take emotion out of it a bit and really evaluate your relationship. While your heart might be telling you one thing, listen to your brain as well.

A friend of mine once told me to stop dating passively. Take control of your life and make actionable decisions. If you’re unhappy in a situation, get out of it immediately rather than waiting for that person to decide for you. You’re an adult, time to make adult decisions.

So, maybe you were feeling like you just can’t get past the first two months in a relationship but maybe now you’re realizing that the people you were investing in were not right for you. Maybe you’re realizing you were dating passively. Next time you enter a new relationship, take it slow and look at you list of qualities you need in someone and see if they fit that list. If not, let them go so you can find someone who does.

xo,