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SEX: 13 Things Only Married Women Understand

by zfortadminin Sex

He actually wants you to come first.

1. You know that sometimes you have unexciting sex and that’s OK because you have approximately 5 million more times to get it right. ​You know that sometimes sex isn’t always a magical roller coaster ride of puppy dogs riding on unicorns and that’s cool. You don’t obsess over it because you know it’s no biggie. Besides, you guys will just crush it next time because you’re amazing like that.

2. He knows not to push your head down because he does not want to die. That’s just Married Science. He doesn’t want his story to end up on an episode of Law & Order​, so he knows not to be a pushy weirdo.

​3. He actually wants you to come first. This should be nos. 1–50, for real. Its importance cannot be overstated.

​4. He’ll never make you feel weird about not being ready to try anal. Which in turn makes you feel a lot more chill about trying anal with him. The world works in mysterious ways.

5. He treats your smaller boob with respect. Just because she’s tiny doesn’t mean she is without needs! He knows you have nerve endings in both your breasts and uses his mouth accordingly.

6. You’ve come to mutual agreements about which positions are just too hard. I’m looking at you, 69. Now that you’re married, you can drop the facade that it’s super fun and sexy to twist yourself into an actual pretzel just to put a dick in your mouth.

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Ways to Feel More Confident and Sexy

by zfortadminin Body, Mind, Wellness

It’s not just about attracting someone — real sexiness is the total confidence that can make you feel smarter, funnier and better in every area of your life. Here’s how to be a bit more like that every day.

A FOR EFFORT
“Feeling confident about your appearance is the first step to genuine sex appeal,” says says Eve Marx, author of Beddington Place: Watch Your Back, Cover Your Tracks and contributor to thirdage.com. Give yourself permission to invest in how you look — whether that means a visit to the makeup counter or a new haircut. It’ll change what’s inside, too.

GET OUT OF TOWN
Take an art class. Or book a last-minute weekend getaway. “Novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac,”says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., and founder of mypleasure.com. When you live in the moment, anything’s possible — and that’s exciting, and sexy.

TOUCH YOURSELF
After a hot shower, massage your body with lotion, instead of just slapping it on. Or give yourself a relaxing neck rub. “I brush my skin with a soft brush every morning when I wake up,” says Mary McGuire-Wien of New York City. “It makes my skin feel much more alive.” Natural health advocates believe that dry brushing reduces toxins, sloughs off dry skin, and may help fight cellulite.

CHANGE IT UP
Play up your eyes with a new eyeliner, or try a different gloss on your lips. Or, if you normally go natural, put on heavy mascara. “When you feel beautiful, you feel sensual,” says Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light. Take the extra three or four minutes to primp yourself and feel pretty — just for you.

MOVE THINGS AROUND
Part your hair on the other side, a teeny move that has a whopping effect. Oh, and every once in a while, you’ll have to toss the falling strands back – and you know the coquettish hair toss does to men.

ALL BUTTONED UP
Wearing something with lots of buttons will naturally turn undressing or a wardrobe change into a striptease as you linger over each button.

READ SOMETHING RACY
Just knowing you’re reading something risque in public sure to give you a teeny confidence boost. “Erotic novels give women ideas.” Says Marx. “They respond to stories that fires up their imagination.” Mr. Grey, here we come.

GET BUSTY
When was the last time you invested in a good bra? “Most women are wearing the wrong bra,” Marx says. “Don’t be scared to spend money on good lingerie. The right foundation will make you feel like a million bucks.”

TAKE IT SLOW
Slow-dance. Really close. Fitting together so snugly and swaying in sync is unbelievably sensual and intimate. It’s almost like making love.

BACK TO BLACK
Wear slightly smudgy black eyeliner for that smoldering temptress look. Appearing slightly unkempt — as if you just had a roll in the hay — is incredibly provocative.

YOU FLIRT!
Honestly, when was the last time you really doted on your guy? Forever ago? Well, pretend he’s a new beau and chuckle at his jokes, suggestively touch his forearm and make coy comments. You’ll feel kittenish — the way you did when you first started dating.

GO AU NATUREL
Every now and then, take a break from blow drying and styling your hair. That slightly tousled, sexily untamed mane will bring out your wild side.

ACT OUT
Ever wish you were Joan Holloway from Mad Men or Eva Mendez any day of the week? Pretend to be them! “It’s fun to get out of your head and role play,” Marx says. Next time you’re in a funk and want to feel sexier, emulate your favorite leading lady, and feel your confidence skyrocket.

LOOK HIM IN THE EYE
“How do you ask for sex,” wonders Catherine Cardinal, Ph.D., author of The Ten Commandments of Relationships? “You probably mumble it with downcast eyes — couples make less eye contact as years go by. Look directly at him the next time. It’ll remind him of the days when he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”

HAND OVER FOOT
Get in touch with your body by treating yourself to a sensual foot massage. You have thousands of nerve endings in your feet, and stimulating every one will send bolts of electricity through you. Start with your thumbs in the center of the bottom of your foot and walk them up toward your big and pinkie toes so they’re gradually moving away from each other. Then, alternating thumbs, stroke along your arch. Finally, massage each toe, rubbing from bottom to top while pulling it slightly and rotating it in a circle.

LACE UP
Just because it’s winter and you’re all bundled up doesn’t mean you can’t expose yourself a little. “Invest in nice tights,” Marx says. “Great hosiery is a boost to feeling sexy.”

PEEP SHOW
Don a silky cream-colored bra (no padding, please). Your guy will go gaga seeing the outline of your nipples through the glossy, smooth material – and it’ll be a whole lot more comfortable than some lacy number.

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE, DOUBLE YOUR FUN
“Add the element of doubling,” says Barbara Keesling, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. “Hold his kiss for twice as long. Take twice as much time to unbutton every button.”

LIGHT UP YOUR NIGHT
Light a scented candle in your den or break out those candlesticks for a romantic dinner. Candlelight casts a warm, cozy glow over everything and everyone in the room and is so much more flattering than harsh lightbulbs. You will — literally and figuratively — see yourself in a new light.

HERE KITTY, KITTY
You may not be auditioning for an ingenue role, but it’s fun to pretend! While he’s watching you, arch your back so your butt sticks out seductively, lengthen your arms up over your head so your exposed stomach is pulled taut and reach for the heavens. It’s invigorating…and titillating. The worst that happens: you giggle and come away with a cute story.

MAKE A RUN FOR IT
Just casually run your hands over your hips as if you’re smoothing down your skirt or pull the neck of your top over toward your shoulder and adjust your bra strap. These moves are so feminine, you’ll feel like a total sexpot. Plus, men go crazy watching a woman caress her own skin.

ROCK A SPECIAL PERFUME
Is there a perfume that reminds you of a particularly spicy night with your man? Wearing that certain scent throughout the day will act as an aphrodisiac, making you feel and smell sexy.

FLIRT HARMLESSLY
We know you love your husband, but sometimes it’s an ego boost to get a little harmless attention from someone other than your man. “Innocent flirting is meant to make you, and hopefully the other person, feel a little bit better about yourselves. Just be careful who you engage in this recreational flirting with,” Marx says. “Keep it light, keep it brief, and most of all, don’t do it at work.”

WALK IT OUT
How can you not feel hot-to-trot when you strut your stuff? The how-to: Loosen up your hips and let them swing from side to side; if you put one foot right in front of the other, it’ll force you to naturally sway. Remember to stand up straight and stick out your chest a bit. And heels (even low ones) do wonders for a woman’s sashay.

FEEL THE BEAT
Not a good dancer? Who cares? Turn on your favorite tunes and just let go. “When you move your entire body to a beat, you start to love how it feels and embrace what your body can do,” says Vanessa Isaac, the creator of Hip Brazil Dance and Fitness. “Awakening your inner rhythm awakens your sensuality.”

SLEEP IN THE NUDE
Just because you’re going to sleep doesn’t mean you can’t take a few minutes before bed to indulge in some sexiness. “Take a shower before bedtime, then skip the PJs or nightgown,” Marx suggests. “There’s something undeniably erotic about slipping freshly shaved, bathed and moisturized, naked between the sheets.”

DING, DING
Make a pact with your husband to set tomorrow’s alarm 30 minutes earlier, and rise and shine for some naked cuddle time before the day overwhelms you.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Are You Projecting Sexuality or Femininity?

by Gina Cloudin Body

Ladies, ask yourself the question am I projecting sexuality or femininity into my world? What’s the difference? It’s energy and intent and it’s a powerful attractor even if you’re clueless to its existence. It’s your vibration which brings EVERYTHING in your life right to your front door. It’s energy Fed Ex.

If you’re projecting (or vibrating to) sexuality, you’re in essence saying ” come do me.” From this place you will attract men looking to get laid. So if you’re looking for an emotionally intimate relationship, you won’t find it with this energy as your bait, as this vibe will bring men who want you in a sexual way, plain and simple. Projecting from sexuality means DOING something to get attention, generally via your appearance, and a lack of belief in your inner wealth as a woman. For the most part a projection of sexuality is shallow, acknowledging only one small part of your beauty, your gifts, your magnificent energy as a woman. It’s the part the media and the marketing world can’t live without, your sexiness, but it robs you of a deeper experience in your life when you pander to this idea that your true value resides here. It’s like saying, my value as a woman is in my appearance and as a sex object. The word object itself refers to something OUTSIDE of you. And understand projecting sexuality has NOTHING to do with how you dress and more with how you express. A man recently told me that when he was in Italy that the women there dress in these very short dresses and high heels, that here in Hollywood would make a woman be perceived as a hooker, but there, because of their internal energy, they are so beautiful and alluring. That energy is femininity.

Femininity is an exquisite quality that ALL women possess. Some feel it and dismiss it as weakness. Some feel it and are afraid of its power. Some choose Feminism instead . Some simply don’t feel it at all, because it makes them feel too vulnerable. And I’m not surprised, because our modern world does not support the very things that would allow a woman to tap deeply into her feminine essence and to offer that to everyone she meets and engages. Our world in all its masculine ways doesn’t create a space for women to feel SAFE enough to allow that vibration to flourish. And we as women have slowly but surely abandoned what keeps us connected to our core. Those of you who follow my work know that a key one is our menstrual cycle. Disconnection from this alone is responsible for more women living like men and projecting only sexuality without connection to the depth of our feminine.

Femininity is pure power in its essence. It’s magnetic. It’s in our BEING as women, not our doing. A woman projecting femininity can wear baggy overalls and no makeup and yet her radiance will be felt a mile away by both men and women, and she will be desired on MANY levels. Sexuality is part of femininity. But femininity is not necessarily part of sexuality. Why do I say this? Because the projection of sexuality is truly about using our external appearance to create lust in an attempt to bring a man to you. It creates an energy whereby in essence we allow ourselves to be used. It is one-dimensional, whereas true femininity is endlessly dimensional. It’s like seeing one piece of a puzzle, instead of the whole puzzle. Just think about those Victoria’s Secret catalogues that men love to look at. I don’t think they’re wondering what it would be like to get to know those women in a relationship. When men want you for the way you look or for the sexual energy you project, and ONLY for this, you will never feel seen, acknowledged or valued. And you will feel insecure. So why go out there projecting this energy in the first place?

If you are longing to be in a relationship but you are projecting sexuality when you go out into the world, your longing won’t be met. The men that will “relate” to you will want sexual relationships because you are overtly offering this to them through your energetic expression. And the energy driving our expression is more powerful than the expression itself. Do you believe you have to seduce with your appearance and your body to get a man? If you do, then you will attract a man who wants your body and is drawn to your appearance. You will be projecting sexuality. If you are projecting femininity, a man will want to relate to ALL of you, as your mystery as a woman will draw him into YOU, not just your body. Your sexuality expressed THROUGH your feminine energy will take you both to places of pure ecstasy. This is the whole puzzle.

So ask yourself what you believe about your value, your worth as a woman and what will draw a man to you. Is it YOU, your feminine essence, or is it your sexuality? Take time to examine this question and to observe what you believe and feel as you move through the world. And if you’re in a relationship already, these questions are still important. Did you attract from sexual projection or from being in your feminine essence? What have you manifested and is it working for you? And remember, projecting your feminine energy whether you are seeking relationship or not, will bring you into more harmony with YOURSELF, and that is truly most important. So be deliberate and intentional in how you use your energy and what you choose to create in your life, and in your world as a W.O.M.A.N.

Just some things to ponder…let me know your thoughts or leave a comment below this post.

If you liked this, please share, and visit my website, join my mailing list, and take advantage of free and paid for stuff on my products page. I have two webinars in June for you, Ladies, so check them out on the webinars page. Guys, please share this post with the women (and men!) you feel would benefit. And thanks for letting me be of service to you in your life.

Love and Blessings,

Gina

Communication: A Foundation to a Great Marriage

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

What is the importance of communication to a successful marriage? Oftentimes we ask why our marriage fails. Read more about the pillar to an amazing marriage: communication.

You likely don’t need to be convinced that communication is foundational to a great marriage. If you’ve been married for any length of time, you know how hard it can be to understand that person to whom you’ve pledged your life. You’ve seen molehills transformed into mountains because of miscommunication and misunderstood. You’ve experienced the frustration of feeling like you’re not being heard.

If a couple knows how to talk to and listen to one another with understanding and respect, there are few problems that can’t be overcome. On the flip side, when the communication skills are lacking, it doesn’t take much to break a marriage.As you evaluate your own relationship, here are some things to focus on.

Communication Begins with Listening

If you’ve ever tried to talk to someone who just wouldn’t listen, you know it doesn’t work too well. Instead of creating understanding and connection, it produces frustration and isolation.

All of us, men and women, have got to learn to listen patiently. It isn’t easy though. Sometimes we assume we understand what our mate is saying, and instead of really listening to them when they are talking, we spend the whole time plotting our response. We mentally shoot down points that they may not even be making, and we miss their point entirely.

My spouse deserves to be heard. I need to fight the temptation to “know what she is going to say.” I must be quiet, stop and listen to her – and I don’t just mean physical quietness, either. I need to refrain from mentally rehearsing my argument and really give her my full attention and focus. My undivided attention validates who she is and conveys my respect for her feelings. It gives her a sense of value, and it fosters co-operation, rather than competition, between us.

In many couples there is one person who is more verbal than the other. Two thirds of the time the woman is more verbal than the man, but sometimes it is the man who talks more. It is especially important for the talker to learn good listening skills and to give your mate the time to talk. If you feel like your spouse isn’t communicative enough, make sure you’re giving them a chance to open up. If you are filling the air with words, your spouse won’t be able to share unless they are willing to fight for “air time”. That isn’t likely to happen, and instead it drives them deeper into privacy.

If you want to improve the communication in your marriage, start here. Invite your spouse to share what’s going on in their heart. Shut everything else out – the TV, the computer, the phone – and focus on them, resisting the urge to pass judgment or argue. Keep an open mind and hear out their perspective.

Make the Effort to Truly Understand

How many times have you and your spouse had an argument, only to discover that the fight could have been avoided if you had truly taken the time to understand one another? My wife and I have had times where, as we worked through an area of disagreement, we discovered that we didn’t really disagree at all…we only thought we disagreed because we were too impatient to fully understand one another.

Too often we’re just listening to the words and not really to the heart. We have to listen to the whole message. There needs to be a clear commitment to listening to what my spouse is trying to say, and to be a safe environment in which they can share their deepest feelings.

The key word here is empathy – where I’m trying to see what it‘s like to look at life through their eyes. Sure, my viewpoint is so clear to me and my position seems so right, and I’ve got my points that I want to make in this discussion. But winning the argument can’t be what it’s about. As it says in Phil. 2:3-4, “look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” We’ve got to work hard to empathize; to see life from our spouse’s perspective. And when we do that, we can connect so much better because we’re stepping into their world. It feels so good to be understood.

We need to listen with more than just with our ears; we really need to go below the surface. Researchers estimate that 65% or more of our communication is non-verbal. Paying attention to body language and your spouse’s actions will help you grasp what they mean by the words they say. And the more our spouse senses that we are truly hearing them, the more secure they will feel to continue sharing at deeper levels.

The deeper we go, the more intimate the relationship becomes. A good marriage is one in which the couple is continuously growing in transparent disclosure. We need to seek to understand our spouse to their core. Rather than growing complacent or trying to fit them into your own mould, put in the effort to get to their heart. Just listen and let them express who they are. As you get to know their heart, you’ll likely grow in your desire to be with them.

Authenticity and Sensitivity

If we want to grow in our marital intimacy, it requires that we be authentic with one another. There is no place for deceit or dishonesty within marriage. The intimacy we are pursuing is one in which we are fully known, and yet fully loved.

Full transparency is risky, because it requires us to lay our heart bare for another to see. We fear sharing at this depth because there is a chance we will be rejected when the person sees us for who we really are. And that’s why it’s so critical to foster a sense of safety. My spouse needs to know that if she shares what’s really going on inside, I’m not going to reject her or drop the hammer on her. She also needs to know that she can take my words at face value and believe what I’m saying to her. If that trust doesn’t exist, then we have no communication.

Of course, if we are really being honest with one another, there are going to be times when we have to share our disappointments and frustrations towards one another. The key in these instances is to do it in a sensitive, positive way: to speak the truth in love. Truth should never be used to bash the other person, with the defence that “I’m just being truthful.” Truth need not be conveyed harshly; there is always a way to say things kindly. Ephesians 4:29 puts it like this: “Do not let any unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it might benefit all who listen.” We need to be gentle and use words that encourage one another, and remain open to working things through in an honest but positive way.

Forgiveness

Some couples are not on the same page because they haven’t worked through issues of forgiveness. It is impossible to develop meaningful communication in a marriage apart from a willingness to freely forgive one another. Every marriage goes through tough times, and if we are going to pull through those things we have to cut each other some slack and be willing to put things behind us.

Someone put it this way: If friendship is like the bricks in the wall of your marriage, understand that the mortar is forgiveness. Forgiveness is what holds the friendship together. I tell couples when I have the privilege to marry them, “There should be nobody in this world that you will be more patient with than the one whose hand you’re holding now at the altar.” But the funny thing is, I can be the most impatient and the most unforgiving with my spouse. I’ll be gracious to other people and everyone thinks that Dave’s such a nice guy. Meantime, I don’t cut my wife and kids the slack that they deserve and they’re the ones I love the most. It needs to be the opposite.

If you are reading this and you know there are issues between you and your spouse, look each other in the eye and say “You know, we want to move on from here. We want to work things out. We want to have a great marriage.” And to forgive feely is the real secret to that. Forgive as the Lord forgave you – completely and unconditionally. As you release your spouse, you’ll discover that it is a gift to yourself as much as it is to them.

Learning to communicate with your spouse is a lifelong process. There will be ups and downs – times when you’re clicking on all cylinders, and times when you feel worlds apart. But if you commit yourselves to working to understand one another, sharing yourselves transparently and forgiving through the hard times, you will have a strong foundation upon which to build a marriage that you love being a part of.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Sex Tips: Women Share Intimate Tips on How to Make Them Orgasm

by zfortadminin Sex

Best ways to make her orgasm: WOMAN share honest advice on how to give them better orgasms. Read more.

Making a woman reach the big-O can be a daunting task for even the most experienced lover.

Female orgasms can also be a subject that people find incredibly hard to talk about.

So a group of women have anonymously written a collection of 72 shorts essays enlightening men on the key to a great orgasm.

Simple named ‘How to Make Me Come’, the blog speaks openly about how to pleasure a woman.

Women were asked: “Imagine you could give this essay to a past or future sexual partner, free of judgment or repercussion. What would you want them to know?”

The results are some extremely frank sex tips that combined create a wealth of knowledge on how to be a stallion in the sack.

Many of the posts have humorous titles, but each of them make pleasurable points.

Here are some of the top sex tips shared on the blog:

GIVE HER ORAL – BUT BE GENTLE

One woman said: “When you are going down on me, begin by just making out with my pussy. Just lay sweet kisses all over it, then focus on my clit. Be gentle. I repeat, be gentle.

“Circles with your tongue are great. I hate flicking. I see it in porn all the time and I don’t get it. Let your tongue be wide and slightly firm, I HATE that thing when a tongue gets all hard and pointy at the tip.”

While another expressed the importance of oral sex.

“I dated a man for 6 months. He went down on me a total of 2 times and I didn’t orgasm once,” she said.

“Oral sex is the Mecca, it’s the feeling to end all feelings.”

BE PATIENT WITH HER ORGASMS

In a post titled ‘The Closest I’ve Cum to Cumming’ an anonymous, 32-year-old woman reveals that she’s never had an orgasm and invites people to ask her questions about it.

She writes: “Be kind to yourself. Don’t focus so much on climaxing during sexual experiences try and focus on sensations, what feels good.”

“Choose generous, loving partners who are patient and warm. Be honest with your sexual partners and let them know where you’re at.”

“If they are good guys or girls, they will stick around and explore with you. There can be no intimacy if you’re faking it or performing.”

While another pointed out that, when it comes to the female orgasm, patience is key.

“It takes a while. Sometimes I’ll masturbate for 45 minutes before I get anywhere,” she said.

STAY FOCUSSED ON HER

In one post a woman described how her ex would look visibly bored while attempting to pleasure her.

“You would finger me and would clearly be so annoyed by how long it was taking. It made me incredibly anxious. Every. Single. Time.”

TALK TO EACH OTHER

A lot of the women said they were too nervous to tell their partner what they really wanted to their face.

“Somehow the idea of a man being told what to do to please a woman sexually has come to be seen as insulting,” said one woman.

While another wrote: “I would be too ashamed to say, ‘Hey, this isn’t working for me’ because I would want them to think I was easy going and had had tons of experience.”I’d be so concerned with their finishing that I’d ignore my own. I would be too frightened to admit I wasn’t sure I knew what I wanted.”

These essays are just a tiny glimpse into the female orgasm and each woman is different. However, if you ask her what she wants, really listen and have patience you’ll get there in the end.

Curated by Karinna
Original Article

Cheating, if Your Marriage Is Good but Your Sex Life Isn’t?

by Virginia Jonesin RELATIONSHIPS

Sex is many things: it can be a drug, it can be a connector, it can be an escape, it can be a distraction.

In 2001, a dating website designed for married people, and named after two popular children’s names of that year, was launched.  The CEO, Neil Biderman, appeared on every TV and radio outlet explaining and promoting the site, while audience members accused him of being morally reprehensible.  It was a pretty sexy idea that people liked to argue about, but Biderman maintained that he was just creating a product to serve a need, that he was not creating a market of cheaters, and that he himself is married and monogamous.

Fourteen years later, on July 15, that website was hacked by a group called The Impact Team.  The hackers said that if the website was not shut down, they would leak the information of all 50 million people who had ever used the service, many of whom were told that their information had been scrubbed when they left.  The Impact Team claimed that the hack, potentially violating the privacy of millions of people, had “ethical intentions.”

Facebook and Twitter exploded in a sanctimonious “YAYYY” and “GLORIOUS” and “HA HAAA” as users posted articles on the hack, commenting that cheaters would pay and it was just desserts for participating in a website designed to help people cheat on their marriages with other married people.  But why do we think it’s our business?

Noel Biderman claims that infidelity can help a marriage: if you have a good partnership and a nice life together but the sex is missing, you can use extramarital sex as a supplement to keep your marriage going and keep you, as an individual, more fulfilled.

We certainly equate sex only with romantic love and relationships, but sex is many things: it can be a drug, it can be a connector, it can be an escape, it can be a distraction.  It plays many different roles in a marriage, from procreation to pair bonding to stress relief.

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How Men Describe Their Dream Girl

by zfortadminin LOVE

Dreamgirl: Noun; One’s ideal vision of a female companion.

Romantic girl in a wreath of wild flowers playing her guitar. SuDoug, 26
“My dream girl would be a girl who has a sense of humor, likes country music, and doesn’t mind being a model for my photography. She would have a great personality while not being one of those high class girls that needs a lot of maintenance.”

Sean, 32
“My dream girl does not live on this planet.”

Kevin, 36
“My dream girl consist of a pretty girl of course, who loves to laugh a lot. Has a sense of humor and doesn’t take life so serious. She would be athletic (take care of herself). Being spontaneous is a plus too.”

Michael, 36
“When I see my dream girl I envision sunshine. Opening my eyes in the morning and seeing a radiant smile. I see a supportive best friend and someone I can rely on and be present for as well. I see someone who is full of life and passion. Someone who doesn’t get discourage during trying times and finds the good in everything. I see a woman that I can lock eyes with across the room and we can share the same thought without sharing a word. A woman of great virtues to pass onto our children. And a woman that I can sit next to when we’re older and laugh at all the great moments we shared throughout our years.”

Joe, 30
“My idea of my dream has changed all through the years. When I was in high school it was the “popular” girl with the hottest body, just purely physical (immature I know). The more mature I’ve become, you realize that there is much more to a woman and I stress the word WOMAN. A man wants a woman in their life, not a girl. A woman is someone who has morals, cares for other people, and someone you can count on no matter what the circumstance. My idea of the perfect woman is someone with a great sense of humor, has great family values, strong willed/minded, has the same lifestyle and career goals as I do. Be able to talk and communicate on a very open level without being criticized. Most importantly, a positive attitude and makes the best of every situation with poise and determination.”

Gil, 40
“I always thought I’d meet and marry someone who no matter what would always have my back as I hers. A couple is a union that has ups and downs. It’s the downs, which everyone goes through, that really defines a couple. I look at my mom and dad and no matter what the argument or hick up is, at the end of the day their love for each other and their common goals to foster a loving environment for their kids prevailed. I may be gullible to think that these relationships are unicorns; that they don’t exist. But I won’t stop believing.”

John, 25
“My dream girl is a girl that accepts me for who I am, we don’t necessarily have to have everything in common, I actually prefer for us to have our own hobbies but be supportive of one another. Most importantly a strong personality that our relationship would be complimenting each other’s lifestyles more than dependent.”

Kyle, 24
“A smart with a college education, very nice and loving. Puts my needs before hers and will do anything to make me happy. Has a good moral background and has family values. Wants to have kids and a family. A girl who will always appreciate what I do for her no matter how little or big. About 5’2 115 pounds. Goes to the gym and stays fit. Has a toned body. Nice breasts like a c cup. Perfect white teeth and amazing smile. Loves to dress up and wear heels.”

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How to Be Confident in Bed

by zfortadminin Body, Sex

As a woman, do you know what it takes to be more confident, ballsy and sexy as hell in bed? Find out more.

Let’s face it, sometimes feeling sexy can be hard. Like, really hard. You might ooze confidence during a work presentation, but it’s a totally different ballgame when it comes to sex. “It’s hard to be open with your sexuality—for anybody—because you feel vulnerable to rejection,” says sex expert Jane Greer, Ph.D., author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. “The trick is to know your comfort level and then to push it just a little bit—that’s all you need.”

Now, we know it can be intimidating to make the leap from tame girl to sex goddess overnight, but a few small tweaks can make you feel wilder and more self-assured in bed. “There’s a misconception that taking charge has to be something big,” says Greer. But in reality, tiny acts can give you a major confidence boost. Test out these 10 feel-sexy-right-now moves tonight. Samantha Jones would be so proud.

Splurge on racy lingerie. Sure, you look great in a bra and underwear, but wearing something that is totally not you (like bright red lace or a sexy-as-hell corset) will make you feel like you’re actually playing into the role of a seductress, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. You don’t need to break the bank for a pearl thong—just get sexy-wear that’s a bit more risqué than your normal tastes. Find the hottest looks for your shape right here.

Play an unfamiliar character. We know, we know, we know: Sexual dress-up is so been-there-done-that. But we’re not talking about dolling up head-to-toe in a French maid uniform. Step outside the box and portray a totally new persona whose sexiness you want to emulate—like Nicki Minaj with an awesome neon wig, says psychologist and sex therapist Brandy Engler, Ph.D., author of The Men on My Couch. You’re basically channeling your sexual spirit animal (whether that’s Katy Perry or Rihanna), which will help you get into character and mask any insecurity from your everyday personality.

Make dirty talk dirtier. It is possible to make a no-brainer even sexier. Use your finger to trace a word on your partner’s body—like “kiss” or “blowjob”—and have them guess, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of NeuroLoveology: The Power to Mindful Love & Sex. If they’re right, perform the move. If they’re wrong, well, use your best judgment.

Blast a libido-pumping song. It doesn’t have to be as slow and romantic as John Legend’s “All of Me.” Listen to something that makes you feel a little wild and sensual, says Kerner, like something that would make you lose your inhibitions and dance like crazy in a club. Not only will it drown out any nerves (and any awkward noises), but it’ll also create a vibe like you’re actually sneaking away in a crowded party to hookup. What’s hotter than that?

Dim the lights. According to our recent survey, both men and women prefer dim lights for sex. It’s pretty obvious why—it’s just enough light to see what you’re doing and it gives you both a soft, flattering shadow. Use these tips to install a dimmer switch—trust us, once you have one, it’s like a two-second way to set the mood and feel so much sexier.

Spritz a special perfume. You know the bottle—it’s the one you only spray for weddings, first dates, and business dinners. Engler recommends applying this eau-du-jour before you get it on to give yourself an instant confidence boost.

Lather on oil. Essential oils make your skin look smooth, shiny, and so damn sexy. It’s the perfect alternative to lingerie that requires little to no effort (or money), says Engler. Just rub a little on your body and take a glance at yourself in the mirror. Yep, you basically look like a swimsuit model.

Accessorize. There’s something surprisingly hot and novel about keeping just one or two things on during sex, says Engler. So strip down to just your jewelry—like dangly earrings, bangles, or a long necklace—to keep that feeling of wearing an “outfit.” (If you go with fancier jewelry, make sure the clasps are tight—you wouldn’t want to lose grandma’s diamond pendant.) Or keep on those super-hot red heels that always make you feel like walking sex. These are pieces that make you feel ballsy and confident on an everyday basis—why not let them pull double duty?

Take the reins. Experts say that taking initiative is one of the top things men crave in bed—so feel free to get a little bossy. Use a soft, sensual voice and tell your guy exactly what you’re going to do to him (or what you want him to do to you), says Engler. When someone’s very specific about their demands, it can make the other person feel desirable—like they’re the only person who can satisfy these needs.

Strip in slow motion. Performing a choreographed striptease takes your focus from feeling smokin’ hot to making sure your audience has a good show, says Engler. (Not to mention, who has time for dance rehearsal?) So tone it down a notch and focus just on taking off each item of clothing in a slow and sensual way. Maintain eye contact while you gradually show hints of skin, says Engler. And don’t let your partner touch you until every piece of clothing is on the floor. This painfully slow build will make you feel totally in control and completely irresistible.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The Anniversary Letter

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

Do you ever wonder how your love effects your friends and family?
A deeper look from an astute daughter for her parents on their 25th Wedding Anniversary.

Dear Parents,

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

Indian Brides Hands Holding BouquetThank you so much for everything you both have done for me. I know I’m not good with expressing my emotions but I’m giving it a try today. You’ve provided me with everything I have ever wanted and much more. I am eternally grateful. I’ve been told about how humble and modest I am by my friends and quoting Jaju, “it is all because of your upbringing by your parents”, so well done both of you.

I’ve never seen a more stable couple, adjusting to each others needs and desires in a more healthier and more understanding manner. You fit together like two puzzle pieces. You compliment each other like no one else can. You make up for each others shortcomings, never leaving the other one’s side. Basically, I think you were ‘made for each other’. So thank you Chachu for bringing them together and providing me with the best set of parents anyone could ask for.

You have both always supported me through everything; my whining, my tantrums and my bad days. You have never forced me to do anything your way, letting me make my own decisions and still standing by my side through thick and thin. Thank you for trusting in me and shaping me into the young woman I am today. They say “you are a product of your parents”. So, I think it is safe to say you have created a pretty decent product. Wherever I am today, all my accomplishments have only been possible because of the two of you. If there is a bright future ahead of me, I only have you two to thank for it.

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Sex Adventures: Awesome for Every Couple

by zfortadminin Sex

Are you looking for more excitement and fun in your sex life?

Sometimes as a couple we encounter boredom in our relationship with our partner and that includes sex and intimacy. One of our solutions is to ask the help of relationship experts or do counseling.

Oftentimes, some solutions can be found from many different sources such as this video.

In this video you can find a list of sex adventures for every couple to try and spice up their sex life.

xoxo

Sexy Home Dates

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

What is your favorite fun date at home—with food or without?

When my husband and I were first married, we were both working full-time and had no kids, so each week we would head out to dinner or a play or a concert or a movie . . . date nights were so fun and easy!

Fast forward 9 years and three kids under the age of 6. We have a student loan debt the size of Alaska (thank you Physical Therapy school) and can’t afford a babysitter every weekend. Plus, I don’t want to leave my 4 month old baby with just anyone!

So, we have had to be creative with our dating life. We still make it a priority to set aside one night a week where we turn off the computers and focus on just being together. Here are some of our favorite at-home date ideas that we have tried (and loved!)!

Plus . . . even if you don’t like these ideas, there are links to approximately 350 MORE date ideas at the bottom of this post. You have no excuse! That will take care of date nights for the next 7 years! You are welcome. :)

1. Play – Would You Rather? You will learn a lot about a person that you never knew when they are faced with a crazy question . . . you can find a lot of questions here.

2. Forget Wine and Cheese . . . how about a Chocolate Tasting night? You can get all the info right here, along with a cute printable to make it happen.

3. Watch a sports game together (or record one on the DVR and watch it together later). Eat nachos and hot dogs and cheer for your favorite team. Make bets on who will win and choose a fun prize for the winner.

4. Give each other massages. Use Google or You Tube to learn some proper techniques and get to rubbing!

5. Have a “finger foods only” dinner and feed each other.

6. Invest in an ice cream maker or a bread maker (you can actually get some pretty decent ones for really cheap at a local thrift store or consignment store) and invent your own concoctions.

7. Go on a picnic. If it’s warm enough, try to go outside (even if it’s in your own backyard). And if it’s too cold, spread a quilt out on the floor, make some sandwiches, and keep your picnic indoors.

8. Have a karaoke night! Find songs with lyrics on You Tube and sing your heart out. This is funniest if you can find some heart-wrenching ballads to belt out. :)

9. Decorate mugs for each other. You can pick up mugs at the Dollar Store and use a sharpie marker to decorate it. It will be such a fun reminder of how much you love each other as you drink from it each morning (oh, how I love cute, cheesy love!)! Here is a cute example.

10. Play the Newlywed Game! See how well you really know one another. Have prizes for every correct answer. You can check out some fun questions here.

11. Make Homemade Donuts. This recipe for Homemade Spudnuts is my favorite and it makes a TON so you can totally share some with the neighbors (or eat them all yourself . . . I won’t judge).

12. Have a Video Game night. Seriously, I did this after we had been married for a couple months and we stayed up playing video games until 3 am . . . and my husband pretty much knew then that I was the best wife ever.

13. Make it a theme night! Choose a theme and center everything you do around it. For example, if you choose an Italian theme, you could eat spaghetti and gelato, then watch a movie like The Italian Job or Life is Beautiful. Some other fun theme ideas: Mexican, Asian, Christmas, Kid’s theme, 1950’s (or any decade), etc, etc.

14. Have a romantic candle light dinner. It doesn’t matter if you are eating hot dogs and macaroni and cheese . . . anything eaten by candlelight is romantic (like our Crazy Dinner!)

15. Have a Fondue Night. Don’t have a fondue machine? No worries! You can melt chocolate or other dipping sauces in a slow cooker or even on your stove top! Check out my favorite Rocky Road Fondue dip.

16. Host a Book Club . . . for two! Check out two copies of the same book at the library and discuss the book as you read it.

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A Moving Tribute to LOVE from Maya Angelou

by zfortadminin LOVE

“I am grateful to be happy in love and to be loved now and to be able to love because it liberates. LOVE liberates…”
maya angelou

“… supposed I am gonna be somebody. She released me. She freed me to say I may have something in me…. that will be of value. Maybe not just to me… that’s LOVE.”
maya angelou_003

This powerful sharing of Maya Angelou about the love of her mother for her and how that freed her to be who she came here to be.

Eros Energy

by Mike Lousadain Sex

Our sexual energy is commonly also called erotic energy.  The word erotic derives from the Greek god Eros.  Eros was the god of love but it is the love of life that he celebrates.  The word erotic has come to be reduced to meaning sexual but its true meaning is far broader.  Since the term “erotic” has too many modern cultural limitations I prefer to call it Eros energy.

To the ancient Greeks, Eros energy was wild, passionate, fiery and fierce.  Eros It was the raw power of life force itself.  That power may express itself in many ways, of which sexuality is only one aspect.  When we allow our bodies to dance without limitation, when we roar with joy at a sporting victory, when we throw ourselves into any physical activity with our totality, this is Eros energy.  When we are total in our lovemaking, this is Eros energy.   Eros energy gives rise to pleasure.

When we feel pleasure we feel it in our bodies.  It is this Eros energy that we are feeling, whether it is sexual pleasure or simply the pleasure of some delicious food or the pleasure of having done some really good exercise.  These pleasures are of the body, felt and experienced in the senses, which we may feel as sensual or sexual, depending on the nature of the experience.

However, pleasure and the accompanying Eros energy can feel dangerous.  They may feel uncontrolled or unpredictable.  Eros, for the ancient Greeks, was something to be embraced cautiously, mindful that it could get out of control.  The raw potency of uncontained Eros energy could be disruptive and destructive.   It became important then to contain and control this energy, to ensure that stability and order are maintained in society.  Too much Eros energy and too much pleasure could mean that people do not go to work, they do not honour their relationships, they become focused selfishly on their personal hedonistic pleasure without thought of others and their boundaries.  So the pleasure principle and this Eros energy were suppressed.

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My Interview with My Parents on Love, Sex and Intimacy

by Sunah Bilstedin RELATIONSHIPS

I sat down with my parents over some wine and nostalgia to see if I could decode, and hopefully recreate, the components of a good marriage someday.

I’m in my late 30’s and have yet to marry.  I am, conversely, a product of two wild, unique, and beautiful loving parents who have been happily married for 47 years.  I’ve always had a sneaky obsession with asking long-term couples what their secret is. As if, through magical osmosis, their wisdom will become a part of me and I can then find forever happiness in a mate. My parents, along with my brother, Tauno, and I immigrated to New York City from Copenhagen, Denmark in 1986. Before Denmark, we lived in Vancouver, Canada, where I was born. They met in Calgary in the winter of 1967 and married at July 28th, 1968 at City Hall in New York City.  My father purchased a $1 ring from St. Marks Place for my mother. It broke the next day. She threw it out. They never wore wedding rings again.  English is a second language for them both. They spent a total of four times together before they got married.  I can barely get a man to commit to storing my number and full legal name into his cell phone.  I sat down with my parents over some wine and nostalgia to see if I could decode, and hopefully recreate, the components of a good marriage someday.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

The first time they met, my mother was stuck in the kitchen. She had been given the job of personal chef for a dinner that her older brother had planned.  According to legend, when my father came in the kitchen, my mother was in the middle of making a delicate roux. The sizzle she felt standing next to him ruined the sauce and her single life forever.  They met again at a party a few weeks later. This time, my mother was not relegated to the kitchen. When he saw her getting ready to leave the party he created a moment in a staircase and stole a kiss.  She kissed him back.

DAD: Yngve Biltsted – 72 years old, married mom at 25 – Danish: I didn’t want to let her go without making an impact

MOM: Leyla Biltsted – 68 years old, married dad at 21– Turkish: It was the smoochiest smooch I ever had! (Translation. It was really hot. )

He wanted to make an impact. I wonder if that’s what we all want. Someone to cast a ripple in our water.

Dad: Although we didn’t speak any words that first night, I already had chemistry with Leyla.

Mom: There are no words for it. I looked into your father’s eyes and that was it. And there’s no rhyme or reason for it. I have to say there’s a certain feeling. When I first met him, I felt emotionally safe.

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

They had only spent 3 nights together, mostly at parties and in groups, when my father moved from freezing Calgary to rainy Vancouver.

Dad: We started writing each other. That’s when the feelings really started to come out.

Mom: But we already knew each other. Intuitively.

Dad: We had already decided that it was pretty much it.

They already knew they were it? Without having sex?  Despite the fact that the subjects of this love-stigation are my parents, I needed to know more about how their initial attraction played out in the bedroom. I took a long terrifying breath, and pounced.  I asked them about their first time. He planned a visit to go see her, making it the fourth time they’d ever laid eyes on each other.

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