7. You know that married people have more sex than most people think. Because you’re living proof that your vagina doesn’t cover itself in cobwebs the second you say “I do.”
8. Your sex life is a varied and splendid thing. Sometimes you’re too tired for sex, but also sometimes you have sex THREE TIMES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON. In your face, comedians who built their entire tired stand-up sets based on the fallacy that married women hate doing it!
9. He’s super chill about period sex. Because he’s an adult human being who understands that you’re an adult human being with bodily functions.
10. You know you don’t have to swing from a trapeze to get him off. And he doesn’t have to spell out the Hungarian alphabet on your clitoris to drive you crazy. Yeah, the tricks are great sometimes, but often just having sex with someone you love is the very best.
11. You know how to deal with his balls. You’ve mastered the art of handling his nuts. You know each one is like a little baby miracle that responds to stimulation in its own way. You are the Master of the Balls. (Well, at least you are the master of his balls. If you get divorced and have to start over, lord help you.)
12. It’s not a total nonstop sexual smorgasbord. Just because you live with someone and sleep in the same bed every night doesn’t mean you’re both always in the mood to get busy. Just like in most relationships (unless you’re the two horniest people alive and then: Mazel!), sex isn’t always on the table. (Sometimes it’s on the floor! Bada bing! Don’t forget to tip your waitress!)
13. You try stuff that’s out of your comfort range but usually come back to the old standards. You’re adventurous because it’s fun (and also you kinda have to be so you don’t die) but usually end up doing the ol’ one-two (you know, whatever that means for you guys) because you both love it and that’s what sex is about, right?
Curated by Erbe