My Interview with My Parents on Love, Sex and Intimacy

I sat down with my parents over some wine and nostalgia to see if I could decode, and hopefully recreate, the components of a good marriage someday.


I’m in my late 30’s and have yet to marry.  I am, conversely, a product of two wild, unique, and beautiful loving parents who have been happily married for 47 years.  I’ve always had a sneaky obsession with asking long-term couples what their secret is. As if, through magical osmosis, their wisdom will become a part of me and I can then find forever happiness in a mate. My parents, along with my brother, Tauno, and I immigrated to New York City from Copenhagen, Denmark in 1986. Before Denmark, we lived in Vancouver, Canada, where I was born. They met in Calgary in the winter of 1967 and married at July 28th, 1968 at City Hall in New York City.  My father purchased a $1 ring from St. Marks Place for my mother. It broke the next day. She threw it out. They never wore wedding rings again.  English is a second language for them both. They spent a total of four times together before they got married.  I can barely get a man to commit to storing my number and full legal name into his cell phone.  I sat down with my parents over some wine and nostalgia to see if I could decode, and hopefully recreate, the components of a good marriage someday.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

The first time they met, my mother was stuck in the kitchen. She had been given the job of personal chef for a dinner that her older brother had planned.  According to legend, when my father came in the kitchen, my mother was in the middle of making a delicate roux. The sizzle she felt standing next to him ruined the sauce and her single life forever.  They met again at a party a few weeks later. This time, my mother was not relegated to the kitchen. When he saw her getting ready to leave the party he created a moment in a staircase and stole a kiss.  She kissed him back.

DAD: Yngve Biltsted – 72 years old, married mom at 25 – Danish: I didn’t want to let her go without making an impact

MOM: Leyla Biltsted – 68 years old, married dad at 21– Turkish: It was the smoochiest smooch I ever had! (Translation. It was really hot. )

He wanted to make an impact. I wonder if that’s what we all want. Someone to cast a ripple in our water.

Dad: Although we didn’t speak any words that first night, I already had chemistry with Leyla.

Mom: There are no words for it. I looked into your father’s eyes and that was it. And there’s no rhyme or reason for it. I have to say there’s a certain feeling. When I first met him, I felt emotionally safe.

GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

They had only spent 3 nights together, mostly at parties and in groups, when my father moved from freezing Calgary to rainy Vancouver.

Dad: We started writing each other. That’s when the feelings really started to come out.

Mom: But we already knew each other. Intuitively.

Dad: We had already decided that it was pretty much it.

They already knew they were it? Without having sex?  Despite the fact that the subjects of this love-stigation are my parents, I needed to know more about how their initial attraction played out in the bedroom. I took a long terrifying breath, and pounced.  I asked them about their first time. He planned a visit to go see her, making it the fourth time they’d ever laid eyes on each other.

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My Interview with My Parents on Love, Sex and Intimacy

About The Author
- Sunah Bilsted is a stand up comic, writer, and personlady. Her award winning short #twitterkills is an exclusive on Funny or Die and you can see her live every Thursday at 8PM in The C Word Show at The Comedy store in Los Angeles.TV credits include commentating on shows like MOCKpockalypse, worlds Dumbest, and Foursome: Walk of Shame and scripted shows like Party Down, Hung and The Office. Her recent film credits include The Angriest Man in Brooklyn opposite Robin Williams. Raised on the Lower East Side of New York City, after surviving public school and actual seasons, she now resides in Los Angeles.