My Interview with My Parents on Love, Sex and Intimacy

Intercourse?

Mom: Yes. Intercourse. I did trust him. But I also think he knew that if he fucked up and went to that place, I’d be gone in two seconds flat.

My dad stayed silent for much of this. I asked him about jealousy. My dad tells the story of a life changing moment when he was 19.

Dad: I had a girlfriend. Then we broke up, I can’t remember why. I was a little infatuated. Like almost stalking. Until one day I finally realized. What are you doing, you idiot? And then I quit. That was it.  I stopped. Just like that. It was almost like quitting smoking. And I’ve never been jealous since. I didn’t like what it did to me.

KIDS

It’s weird asking about this since I am one of their two products. Hoping for the best, I asked them how having children affected their marriage.

Dad: They are a necessary evil.

My father knows me well. He knows that this will make me laugh and not feel bad. My father and I are very alike. We laugh. I love him.

Mom: I think we were one of the lucky ones somehow. We had the opportunity to get to know each other at our very young age. Before having kids.

Dad: Yeah, we didn’t get married because she was pregnant. That was kind of important.

Mom: We didn’t think about it, we didn’t philosophize about it, we didn’t economize about it. We cleaned the house, we painted the apartment, we had the kid.

Dad: We dealt with it the way we were supposed to deal with it, I think.

Mom: Having a child didn’t change anything. It just enriched our life.

Dad: You still gotta cook every day. You still have to clean every day. You still have to do all the things you normally do. But now you have to put diapers on the kid. It’s just one more thing. It’s just a kid.

Mom: We were lucky because at the time we had children it was accepted that you could take your children with you. So we still went out to parties, but we took them with us. Children don’t stop you from your life.

Dad: You may not be able to go bungee jumping or sky diving. (My father has done neither. Ever.)  But there are different kinds of fun. Before we had kids we’d go out; dancing, parties, smoke some dope. There’s less of that. But fun should never stop. Whether you have kids or not.  We were a little bit hindered monetarily. So we had to make up for that and have fun in the life we had.

Mom: I loved having children!

Dad: You want more??

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My Interview with My Parents on Love, Sex and Intimacy

About The Author
- Sunah Bilsted is a stand up comic, writer, and personlady. Her award winning short #twitterkills is an exclusive on Funny or Die and you can see her live every Thursday at 8PM in The C Word Show at The Comedy store in Los Angeles. TV credits include commentating on shows like MOCKpockalypse, worlds Dumbest, and Foursome: Walk of Shame and scripted shows like Party Down, Hung and The Office. Her recent film credits include The Angriest Man in Brooklyn opposite Robin Williams. Raised on the Lower East Side of New York City, after surviving public school and actual seasons, she now resides in Los Angeles.