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Growing Up Catholic Impacted My Dating Life More Than You Might Think

February 15, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Growing up, I never gave that much thought to how dating would go being Catholic. It was always just part of my life and a huge part of who I am.

I attended Catholic elementary school and an all-girls Catholic high school. I didn’t date in high school and honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing.

I had the freedom to explore who I was and I never once had a boy define me. I don’t remember my prom date’s name, only that he arrived with a hat and cane (which I laugh at to this day).

Moving on to college, things were a different story. I didn’t date much in college either, just briefly at the end of my senior year. Much to my surprise, I ended up becoming close to two men. They became my two closest friends and we did everything together, even touring Europe when we were 25.

Over the years I would come close to thinking about exploring a deeper relationship with both of them, but the friendship we had was too good to mess with. I think that being friends with these two men, I ended up learning about everything I missed out on, such as how to not blush at the mention of sex, what men really want in a woman, you name it.

One of the guys even gifted me a book, The Catholic Girls’ Guide to Sex as a joke for my birthday. I read it cover to cover and still own it to this day. It definitely is a source for some laughs!

The “talk” from my father came when I was leaving for college.

When I left for college, my dad told me to always remember my faith and my family. My family is incredibly close and I’ve taken the faith aspect to heart.

In fact, once when one of those male friends and myself came close to exploring a deeper relationship, I was nervous about staying up too late and missing Mass (basically church services for those who are unfamiliar) the next day. It turns out, I ended up making it with plenty of time to spare.

Post-college, I had a couple dates that ended up forging friendships. One man even invited me to his wedding in Texas—his husband and he have been happily married for years. We still text and laugh about our time together. I always believe if a relationship doesn’t work out, a friendship is always a possibility. A little “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” if you will.

All the while, I knew that I didn’t want to lose my virginity to any of these men. My reasons were a little bit romantic, as I wanted to wait for the perfect man and the perfect moment. Other reasons had to do with the way I was raised—in the Catholic church.

I almost always mention at some point or another how I am Catholic. I never, ever try and “shove my religion down people’s throats,” as I believe religion should be a personal and completely intimate choice. However, sometimes I wonder if me being religious makes some men see me as a conquest, an “oh I can get the Catholic girl to have sex with me.” I’ll admit, it is tempting.

I met a man when I was 26 who I figured out was the nephew of a famous photographer. After our first date getting drinks, he walked me to my door and I invited him in. I mixed another drink and he didn’t seem interested.

Instead, he just went right for the kill and started making out. He reached behind and unhooked my bra then started for my jeans. I immediately knew it didn’t feel right and stopped him, asking to get to know him more first. He unfortunately ghosted me soon after. It’s a great story to tell now.

But then I met the perfect person.

After another miss in the relationship department, I met a really genuinely good guy. I have been dating this wonderful man for almost six years now. He’s gone to church many times with me, for funerals and weddings and other family events.

He was raised Christian and he thinks it’s awesome I am a church usher and have become friends with two 80-somethings at my church. My boyfriend has even expressed interest in learning more about the Catholic church, which I think is really amazing. He’s respectful and kind and has taught me so much about what it means to be in a truly mature, adult relationship.

After years of misses and praying for a good match, I think I’m finally where I’m meant to be with who I’m meant to be with. I just needed a little faith in myself.

Being religious and dating doesn’t always have to be boring.

Being raised Catholic certainly didn’t mean the author led a boring dating life. From her prom date to her most recent boyfriend, author Kate Oczypok explores what life is like dating as a modern Catholic woman.

Interested in a funny take on virginity? Check out this piece on being a 30-year-old virgin.

How Valentine’s Day Has Completely Changed For Me Through the Years

February 14, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

From grade school shoe boxes full of Valentines to red roses from my longtime boyfriend, Valentine’s Day has certainly evolved for me.

Valentine’s Day was always a day I enjoyed telling my closest friends and family how much I loved them. Over the years I’ve had plenty of stories to tell, but they’ve all gone back to one central theme—love.

Whether it was choosing the perfect themed Valentine’s to write out to my class, going to the yearly “date dance” in high school or celebrating a deeper kind of love with my longtime boyfriend, I made sure everything on Valentine’s Day revolved around love.

Here are how Valentine’s Day has changed in my life from my childhood through my teenage years.

Valentine’s Day during childhood is the most adorable time ever.

Remember those boxes of Valentines you could get at your local K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target or CVS? They often revolved around what was popular among the youth zeitgeist of the time. I lived for those! I’m aging myself here, but Beauty and the Beast Valentines were an absolute must in second grade.

Later in junior high, Spice Girls Valentines were definitely something I begged my parents for. I remember sorting through the 30 or so Valentines in each pack and making sure my crush always got the one that was extra flirty (this never ended up working in my favor).

The worst classmate of mine always got the ugliest one and my best friend always got my favorite, of course.

In my family life, my parents always did something so simple that made me feel like I had so much worth. On Valentine’s Day morning, my brother and sisters and myself would each receive a heart-shaped box of candy. Just a little something to say I love you, I later have adopted this practice in my adult life. I am so grateful we grew up with parents like ours.

Valentine’s Day as a teen was like Galentine’s Day before it was a “thing.”

I didn’t date anyone until I was in college and went to an all-girls high school. Needless to say, Valentine’s Days during my teenage years were spent with friends.

Some of my favorite memories were spent on a riverboat where I grew up in Pittsburgh. My school had a yearly Valentine’s Day dance called “Date Dance.” The rules were ridiculous, that you absolutely had to bring a date so many of us awkward teens attending our all-female school had trouble finding dates (like yours truly!).

We all ended up just asking friends of friends to accompany us as our “dates” and we often abandoned the guys and danced the night away together. I still have a keychain of myself and seven of my closest girlfriends from a Valentine’s Day in the early 2000s. Chances are we had just finished dancing to some old school Britney, Backstreet Boys or N*SYNC.

The best Valentine’s Day come from the days I spent as a young adult.

My best Valentine’s Days from my young adulthood were all about self love. Every year I would head to this local restaurant just a few blocks from my apartment and get a slice of their mud pie.

This wasn’t just any mud pie, it was literally heaven on a plate. I’d always do something else too, like take a yoga class or take myself to see the Garry Marshall movie Valentine’s Day or He’s Just Not That Into You. Seeing He’s Just Not That Into You on Valentine’s Day by myself was so completely liberating.

I learned a lot about myself during those years. I learned to enjoy my own company and that spending a day about love solo really isn’t so lonely after all.

While I spent a lot of time on my own, I also started a very important tradition to me in my young adult years. When Nora Ephron’s “Julie and Julia” was released in 2009, I instantly fell in love with the film and the spirit of Julia Child.

From that year forward, I’ve made Julia Child’s boeuf bourguignon for a fancy dinner party with my closest friends. I love getting everyone together in honor of Valentine’s Day. This year will be our ninth in a row.

Today, things are different. Very different.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for six years now. We have had plenty of Valentine’s Day memories that we laugh about and love to reminisce about too. There was a year where we were planning on going out to a fancy dinner, but a huge snow squall hit on Valentine’s evening.

We stayed in and watched Netflix with our dog and had the best time. Then there were three separate years I won the same restaurant’s Valentine’s Day contest. It got embarrassing by the third year and my boyfriend and I laughed how each consecutive year we would get just a little less prizes—eliminating roses, wine and free dessert.

They are still three of the best meals we’ve ever had with the best restaurant staff! My boyfriend always likes to buy me flowers or a sweet card or just a little something to make the day extra special too. Of course we always spoil our English bulldog Moe too. The memories we’ve made have created a deeper sort of love.

Throughout my life, I’ve always loved and appreciated Valentine’s Day. While its meaning has changed over the years, or I’ve focused more on a particular kind of love (friend love, familial love, self love, the love I have for my partner) the central theme has always been love.

I believe the world can always be a kinder place, so this Valentine’s Day, no matter what you choose to do, be kind and show some love. Chances are, someone may need it!

Valentine’s Day is great, but what about showing love all year ‘round? Check out this piece.

Puns, Regicide and Snowball Fights: One Couple’s Celebration of St. Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2018January 22, 2024 by ElisaShoenbergerin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Some couples have romantic dinners or go on exotic vacations for Valentine’s Day. We took a different route.

My husband and I find something decidedly unsexy to celebrate this day in February. Even from the very beginning, we’ve found creative ways to play with the concept of the day.

Nothing says I love you like Shakespearean regicide.

Our first Valentine’s day was spent seeing A Year in Magical Thinking by Joan Didion that was her true story of her attempt to deal with the death of her husband and daughter in the same year. Sexy, no? It still remains one of the best plays I’ve ever seen.

The following year, we made a point of seeing Shakespeare’s Richard II that deals with a man child whose bad decisions end up resulting in the loss of his throne and his life. Not one of Shakespeare’s better known romantic plays. And so on and so forth.

Two times, we’ve done crisis rooms as Valentine’s day adventures. The first was part of “The Last Defenders” where we had to dress in orange jumpsuits and work with 15 other people to try to prevent a nuclear holocaust. Sadly, we failed and everyone died.

Last year, we gathered a group of friends together in order to solve a crisis room, one of those new interactive puzzle rooms where you have an hour to solve a problem. We succeeded in escaping from a runaway train car through a combination of collective problem-solving and inspiration.

Another year we were teetotalers for the Chicago Poetry Bordello, waving signs against the forbidden drink and protesting outside the venue in a snowstorm. But that’s an entirely different story.

For me, Valentine’s Day was always a little silly.

I don’t mean that the holiday is silly in itself. I have yet to shake the initial meaning of the day as a child. In grammar school, I loved Valentine’s Day since it meant punny valentines and candy. Think “I Choo-Choo Choose You” valentine from The Simpsons.

It felt like a lesser Halloween but in the middle of the winter. Sometimes, I would even hand make the valentines because it was good to make things by hand.

Even later on in my life, I still found myself drawn to the joviality of the day. I felt disconnected from the romantic overtones, the marketing that said that you were less than fully in love unless you bought them XYZ.

Even in college, I remember buying ridiculous animal valentines with punderful sayings and giving them to my friend. I even sent one in an envelope to a friend in another state.

I learned in college that not everyone felt the same way.

Everyone had a ticket on the Anti-Valentine’s Day Train. It was everyone. It didn’t matter your gender or your relationship status. I heard nothing from my friends who I sent valentines to in other states. Talking to folks in college, Valentine’s Day was perceived as this Hallmark holiday, another mark of our over consumptive society. It was a holiday to make single people feel bad. If it was noted at all, it was with a groan. And maybe a shopping spree for discount candy on the 15th.

Even my then boyfriend was vehemently opposed to it. I asked him about it and his reply was “Shouldn’t you be treating your loved one well everyday?” I had no response to that. So we didn’t do much for the day.

In graduate school, I once asked a friend to dinner on Valentine’s Day. I remembered that it was the holiday since I bought her and her boyfriend silly Valentine’s day gift. It was two of those biting sticks with dinosaur heads. The ones where you had a head on a long stick and pressed a button to open and close the mouth.

Only after dinner, did it even occur to me that perhaps they wanted to have a romantic night. (She was delighted at the gift and clearly did not have strong Valentine’s Day opinions.)

Things changed delightfully when started dating my now husband

My now husband didn’t seem to have the same strong opinions about the day. And I still enjoyed the wackiness of it.

We treated most of these special events as a bit of a lark. Two weeks before our wedding, we had a joint bachelor party playing laser tag where we were on opposite teams. It made sense given the nature of our relationship. At karaoke, we sing classic love songs like “This is Halloween” or the Clash’s “London Calling” or on very special occasions “God Save the Queen” by the Sex Pistols.

Naturally, our Valentine’s day would continue our strangeness.

This year, as we begin planning for Valentine’s Day, we’re going in a slightly new but entirely appropriate direction. We are thinking more combative…like a snowball fight. But that depends on snow. Or perhaps laser tag like our joint Bachelor’s party.

Either way, we are going to celebrate Valentine’s day in our own way.

Looking for more adventures for Valentine’s Day? Check out The Best Unconventional Date Movies For Your Valentine’s Day or look for ways you can show your community love with How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day.

10 Valentine’s Day Activities That Won’t Require a Significant Other

February 13, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Because mushy feelings are for everybody.

So, Valentine’s Day. A day of pink and red, and couples flaunting their couple-y ness…or so it may seem when you’re very, very single. I am very, very single and consider V-Day a great opportunity to be good to yourself, along with the other lovelies in your life because romantic couples don’t have a monopoly on love (obviously).

You have just as many options for activities as couples do on February 14.

1. Go to a sex shop

I said Valentine’s Day was a great day for self loving — what better to do so than treating yourself. Cash out on that vibrator you’ve been eyeing. Or buy your first one. Or just giggle at how many genital-shaped things there are.

Either way, I encourage making a purchase; chances are it’s on sale too, since you won’t be the only one looking to get sexy on that day.

2. Eat a heart-shaped pizza all by yourself

I did this last year and it was wonderful. Pizza is already wonderful, but heart-shaped pizza is super cute and Instagram worthy. Plus there’s something about eating heart-shaped pizza that just makes you feel good. I’ll probably do this every Valentine’s Day, to be honest. At least until I have someone to make dinner plans with, because I’m not sharing pizza.

3. Volunteer

If it’s hard for you to shake off some sad feelings about a solo Valentine’s Day, you can turn that sadness into productivity! As someone who works at a volunteer run organization, I know that February 14 is a day when people bail on shifts due to evening plans. Pick up for a shift at a shelter, or food bank. Only good can come out of putting more love into the world.

4. Book a trip for one

I am, and always will be, a strong advocate of solo travel. I love going places alone. I love doing things at my own pace, eating all the chocolate I want, and just generally using the time to recharge myself. All the more reason this is a great Valentine’s Day activity if you’ve got some cash burning a hole in your pocket! Consider a few places off the beaten path. Even a brief road trip a few towns over will do.

5. Treat yourself to a hotel room

If you can’t book tickets to get away, rent yourself a hotel room, pick up some bubbly, and take an extra-long, luxurious bath. If you’re feeling extra gutsy, go to the hotel bar and get some fun drinks. Who knows, you might meet someone cute. Either way, you’re having a grand, luxurious time. Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

6. Galentine’s Day

I think “Galentine’s Day” a really cheesy name, but I’m into the concept. I love my friends. One V-Day I made plans to drink champagne and eat strawberries with one, although she bailed on me…but trust and believe, it’s happening this year.

Dress up with your friends (they don’t all have to be “gals”) and make some good food together. Or order some. It’s a sure way to end the night with a heart bursting from love.

7. Make actual valentines

Remember in elementary school when everyone just made valentines for everyone and it was sweet with no romantic pretense? I miss those simpler times.

But I love paper crafts and generally sending my friends things in the mail, so channel all your love energy into some sweet cards. Load up on lots of paper, stickers, glitter and good markers. Or you could just go store bought. Nothing says I love you like a Hello Kitty card.

8. Decorate your space

People don’t decorate nearly enough. If birthdays, New Years’, and Christmas are occasions to deck out your home, I don’t see why Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be.

For the past couple weeks I’ve been eyeing the heart-shaped mirrors, heart banners, pink streamers, and pink lights at target. Half of them are in the dollar section, too. If you’re into decorating, turn your abode into a soft oasis of pink. Why? Because you can.

9. Watch some unromantic movies

My favorite holiday movies are always the unconventional ones (think Bad Santa, the Ice Harvest, Edward Scissorhands). If you’re really one of the “I hate V-Day” crowd, watch some really uncheesy, devoid-of-tenderness movies.

Forget When Harry Met Sally. Try Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Plus it’s Oscar season, so there are way too many movies worth seeing on the big screen. Pick one that’s not super sappy and enjoy being in a couple-free room. Even if it’s not couple free, it’s too dark to tell.

10. Ball out on dinner

Many restaurants run Valentine’s Day promos. Most are of the buy-one-get-one free variety, so bring a friend along or pocket the leftovers for yourself!

While I adore eating out alone, I realize that not everyone is so comfortable being out and so obviously single. Try to pick a place that isn’t particularly romantic. Or, better idea, clear off your dining table, light some candles, break out the good china, and order some gourmet eats.

This is only a list of 10, but the possibilities go much further! If you want, dream about sharing V-Day with someone next year. Or do what I’ll do, which is enjoy a whole heart pizza to myself. Because f*ck sharing.

Want some more ideas? Check out some Valentine’s Day activities you can do if you’re hiding inside all day for the holiday or even some ideas if you want to show your community some love on V-Day.

Where to Find Last-Minute Valentine’s Lingerie Just in Time for the Day of Love

February 13, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin Sex, SEX TIPS

It’s possible to have a steamy Valentine’s Day without breaking the bank.

V-day is just around the corner, and you know what that means, having a little extra bit of fun with your partner. You obviously want to look the part, but say you’ve found yourself mere days away from Valentine’s Day without any sort of lingerie to commemorate the holiday.

What can you do at this point to make your look extra-special? Here are a few suggestions to make your day great, even at the last minute.

Amazon Prime

I swear by Amazon Prime for absolutely everything. Cheap prices, no extra fees, and quick shipping times are more than enough reason to rely on Amazon for any holiday shopping. Personally, I buy all of my burlesque costumes and lingerie here, as there is obviously a very wide selection.

Whether you want your Valentine’s Day look to be extra shimmery, long and lacy, or in the spirit of the holiday itself, you can find almost anything on Amazon to suit any of your Valentine’s Day needs. Why not pick up some roses while you’re at it?

Target

Another quick-and-easy go-to. It seems Target stores are everywhere, and they are a seriously underrated source for any sort of clothing. Lingerie is no different. They have a wide selection of basic lingerie for a reasonable price.

Targets are also pretty reliable in their stock from store to store, so if you’re worried about shipping, it’s safe to say that you can find what you need locally. If not, shipping is free with orders over $35, and can be delivered in two days.

Check out this Gilligan and O’Malley babydoll lingerie. The beautiful red velvet is perfect for V-Day, and is sure to impress your lover. Or, if you’re looking for something a little less conventional, try this velvet and lace bodysuit. It’s easy to hide under your clothing, so it’s perfect for surprising your S.O. when you get home from date night.

Yandy

One of the most unique and lesser-known online lingerie sources is Yandy.com. With its wide selection, it’s easy to see why it’s so many peoples’ first choice when it comes to undergarment shopping. Lingerie sets average about $30, with about $7 flat-rate shipping (usually two to three days), so while it isn’t the cheapest, it’s certainly a reliable option.

The variety that comes with Yandy is almost overwhelming. The amount of choices in color, style, and material allows you to find exactly what you might need for Valentine’s Day. You can go traditional, like this vibrant red bustier, or try something a little different, like this lace harness teddy. And keep an eye out for coupon codes- they’re pretty easy to find on the site.

Frederick’s of Hollywood

Frederick’s has always been a staple in the lingerie game, and continues to produce high-quality and classy intimate wear. While your local mall might be a good bet in finding a Frederick’s store, their website is currently advertising 50% off all Valentine’s Day wear with $10 flat-rate shipping. They clearly want to make sure you get your lingerie in time for the big day, showing that they truly care about their customers.

There is an excellent amount of variety on their website when it comes in intimate apparel. Their Red Hot Sexy Lingerie collection boasts a number of fiery red numbers, while their Sheer Seduction line produces elegant and lacy robes, teddies, and corsets. Also check out their Megan Fox Collection, full of crushed velvet and an array of colors.

Make sure your Valentine’s Day is a sexy one this year. You may not be able to justify investing in that expensive Victoria’s Secret bodysuit for just one day, so try looking in one of these places to find that special piece that won’t drain your wallet. If all else fails, try looking in your local sex shop. No matter what the cost may be, it is possible for you to find something that works beautifully for you, not just for the sake of your partner, but also as a confidence booster for yourself.

If you’re looking for Valentine’s lingerie in different sizes, check out The Best Lingerie for Hard to Find Sizes Just in Time for Valentine’s Day.

What to do When You Have to Work on Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes life and responsibilities get in the way of love. For that, we’ve got some ideas for the working couple.

Since Valentine’s Day falls on a Wednesday this year, it may be hard to find time to spend with your significant other. If you work a typical nine to five job, you have a very limited amount of time in the morning and evening to do something to commemorate the holiday. Other types of shifts you may work, whether it’s retail, food service, or any other job with different hours, may make it even harder.

So how do you keep V-day special during a work day? Here are some ideas to maintain your holiday traditions.

Breakfast in bed

It might be a little cliche, but who doesn’t love waking up to the smell of pancakes in the morning? Wake up a little earlier than your S.O. on Valentine’s Day, and prepare their favorite breakfast. Give yourself time to eat together instead of rushing around like you would on any other morning. Make their special tea or coffee. Maybe get a vase put a little bouquet of flowers on the tray for a nice flourish. It’s a refreshing and lovely way to start your day.

Grab lunch at your favorite restaurant

The best dates involve food, and never fail to bring people together. If you work relatively close to each other, find your favorite restaurant in the area and meet up for a quick meal during your lunch break. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, you are still in your work clothes after all. Treating yourself to your favorite food together keeps the day a special occasion, and makes for a nice breather from a busy work day.

Send some flowers to the office

Or wherever it is that you might work. Make your partner’s coworkers envious by sending them a special delivery of roses, chocolates, or even an edible arrangement. It’s a simple and sweet reminder that you’re thinking of them amidst the stress of the workplace. A small card proclaiming your love is a nice touch as well. It keeps the spirit of the holiday alive, even when you have to be apart.

Have a movie night

After a long, tiring day at work, it’s likely that you and your partner won’t even want to go out. So keep it at home, and spend the night watching your favorite movies. It doesn’t have to be a Nicholas Sparks movie or any other stereotypical romantic flicks, but could instead be a movie that has brought you together in the past (check out my article on my partner and I’s favorite unconventional date flicks). Order some take out, watch some Netflix, and chill out for the night.

Enjoy the long weekend

Valentine’s this year may fall on a weekday, but luckily it happens to also be the same week as President’s Day. If you have this day off, plan a long weekend for you and your partner to spend together. Whether that may be taking a trip to a romantic getaway, or just staying in and binge watching a new TV show, the extra time spent with your S.O. will make up for the fact that you might not have had a chance to spend much time on the actual day.

All in all, any time spent with your partner on Valentine’s Day is time well spent. Whether you’re with them all day, or for just an hour, there are a number of possible ways to keep the holiday fun. However you may define it, Valentine’s Day is ultimately about the reasons why you love your partner, and a celebration of what brought you together.

If you’re looking for more ways to show your love, check out Valentine’s Day Is Great, But Here Are My Favorite Ways to Show Love All Year Round and How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day.

The Best Lingerie for Hard to Find Sizes Just in Time for Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin Sex, SEX TIPS

If you’re anything like me, finding lingerie that fits can be hard.

I am a plus-sized woman with small breasts. I have larger hips and broad shoulders, but am narrower in between there. Finding lingerie can often be a nightmare. I’m sure many of you can relate.

Two years ago, I had the opportunity to meet plus-size model Ashley Graham through a work event. I immediately felt the need to approach her and tell her thank you—thank you for being a role model, for showing me that it’s so important to feel comfortable in your own skin. She told me that having confidence comes from within, then she told me I was gorgeous. I’ll never forget that brief meeting and very time I see Ashley modeling lingerie, I remember I can do that too if I really wanted to!

If your wish is to look extra sexy this Valentine’s Day, here are six different body types and some recommendation pieces of lingerie for those hard to find sizes.

1. For plus-sized women with smaller breasts.

I recommend Torrid for plus-size lingerie for women with smaller breasts who may still have larger band sizes. This gorgeous red and white bra and panty set perfect for Valentine’s Day goes up to size 44B. If a seriously sexy black is more your style, you’ll want to try this set that also goes to 44B.

2. For curvy women with large breasts.

Curvy women with larger breasts who want something on trend and provocative enough for Valentine’s Day, Lane Bryant is a wonderful option. This provocative strapless number was such a best-seller it’s only available in a size 40G—perfect for curvier ladies. If your wish is for something a little more unexpected, this fishnet lace high-neck French balconette bra is a great choice.

3. For ladies with small busts.

Small busts have just as much problems as larger ones trying to find the perfect piece of lingerie for a special night like Valentine’s Day. Luckily, sites like Agent Provocateur carry plenty of sizes for our smaller breasted brethren. There’s even a gorgeous Valentine’s Day collection!

4. For long and lean ladies.

I’ve always adored Aerie and their cute choices for undergarments. If you’re planning on a low-key Valentine’s Day give one of their pieces a try. This day to play plunge push-up comes in a provocative black and this padded plunge bralette is a casual way to take Valentine’s Day off and enjoy it in bed with your partner.

5. For short and curvy girls.

The tried and true Victoria’s Secret has so many choices, many of which short and curvy girls will find a good fit. There’s a sexy floral lace plunge teddy perfect for Valentine’s evening that comes in five different colors. There’s also a simple and sweet satin and lace slip that’s a sure bet for a fun Valentine’s Day (or any day for that matter!).

6. For larger-hipped ladies.

Hips & Curves has sizes from large all the way to 6x. Larger hips are accommodated with absolutely stunning lingerie like this Mon Amour Charmeuse Corset. Flatter hips with pieces like this tie bust babydoll with rhinestone buckle and marabou.

Shopping for lingerie doesn’t have to be frustrating.

Hard to find sizes don’t have to be hard to find with this list of great places for gorgeous lingerie. Whether you have large breasts or are long and lean, there’s something for everyone.

Make this Valentine’s Day one to remember with spectacular lingerie.

Interested in proposing this Valentine’s Day? Check out our ideas in this piece.

The Differing Valentine’s Day Plans from Seven Couples Around the U.S.

February 10, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Valentine’s Day is on a Wednesday this year. What are you doing for the big day?

Ah, Valentine’s Day. That simultaneously loved and hated holiday that marks the fact that winter will be finally be ending in just a few short weeks.

If you’re wondering how others will be spending the holiday commemorating all things romance, here are just a few ways your fellow women will be celebrating the big V-Day. I always loved Valentine’s Day because it was a day I got to tell my friends and family how much I loved them without them looking at me like I was crazy. Whether I was single or taken, I always managed to have a fun and loving day.

While my plans were never anything all that special, I wanted to know what fellow females were up to on this special day.

Here are some of the plans ladies are doing this Valentine’s Day. I bet you can relate to many of them!

“Our first valentines Rob and I decided we were going to embrace the holiday for all its cheesiness! We were long distance at that point so we wanted to go all out. I flew to Michigan and we made a decision to find the most ridiculous but cheap candy or toy we could find in the store and find the most over-the-top card.

“On top of that we decided to pick a restaurant we would never normally go to so went to hibachi. Every year since then we have kept the tradition and the cards keep getting better and cheesier. We also almost know the hibachi routines by heart. I have bought him everything from a furry heart with beef jerky, funny game controller and this year a candy fishing tackle box!” – Dillon, VA

“I don’t have any official Valentine’s Day plans on the books, but if I were a betting woman my money would be on getting wine drunk on my couch with some girlfriends while having a movie (and food) binge.” – Jessica, VA

“It’s a Wednesday so it is going to be spent stabbing each other at fencing club. Real romantic. Haha.” – Katelyn, MD

“Haha I’m working 2 p.m. ‘til midnight on Valentine’s Day this year so I’m afraid my answer isn’t very exciting.” – Liz, D.C.

“Every year he’s ‘surprised’ me with a gift exchange and then we do dinner and the comedy club. We love laughing for Valentine’s Day.” – Christie, PA

“I have grad school that night, so I’ll be in class until 8ish. Then, I’ll go home and review my lesson plan for the next day and probably go to bed. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a pink sweet and I may make Valentines for my students.” – Erin, D.C.

“I doubt we’ll do much. My grandpa used to send me flowers every year whether I was in a relationship or not. It was something that always made my day, made me smile, and made me feel so loved and appreciated. As I slowly watch him decline, I know he won’t remember to send me anything. It’ll be a hard day thinking about the one person in my life who always loved me no matter what and who never once failed me. I will, however, forget about the fact that he’s not supposed to have sugar and send him chocolate.” — Sarah, D.C.

No matter how you choose to spend Valentine’s Day, it’s important to remember to do what’s best for you.

It’s okay to be single, it’s okay to do something sappy and romantic too, and it’s okay to remember those you love. Have fun and celebrate love. After all, that’s what the day is all about!

Let us know in the comments section below what you’ll be doing on Valentine’s Day and what it means to you.

Want to show us what #LoveIs and win big? Check out the contest we’re holding here.

5 Ways to Discreetly Declare Your Love to Someone by Next Week

February 9, 2018January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes, it can be challenging to confess your love to someone or tell them that you like them.

For me, it is always hard to tell people that you like them, so you fear you will die alone because you want people to be able to read your nonverbal cues, but what if you your nonverbal cues were actions?

Maybe you won’t hold a boombox over your head outside of their window, and maybe you don’t have your own Cyrano de Bergerac (but you’re also a Cyrano de Bergerac who doesn’t have a Christian) so the one you love won’t accidentally fall in love with you.

So, how can you discreetly tell the one you love that you love them without being too obvious? Here are some options:

Try getting a movie pass.

Tell them you haven’t used movie pass since it went down to $10/month even though you’ve had it since it came down to $10. Say to them the only way you’re going to watch a movie is if someone holds you accountable.

This will work if they are a fan of movies and are also behind on watching movies. Say, you need to watch all the Oscar Nominated movies that are still in theaters. Hard to do if you’re in small town, but you could always check out the DVDS via Netflix.

Since, you’re allowed to watch one movie a day using Netflix you can spend 28-31 days with this person and actually get to know them. And if they’re not interested in Oscar movies, you can always just rewatch Black Panther in 2D.

Pay attention to their interests.

If they say they like a book, a movie, a TV show, a band I recommend you read, watch, and listen to what they’re interested in. If you like someone it can give the two of you something to talk about if you’re also interested in what they have to say and what they think.

After you read, watch, listen you can ask them questions, offer your opinions, suggest things they can read, watch and listen to. Reciprocate, my friend.

Make a few affectionate mix tapes.

Mix tapes are not just spotify playlists, but if your crush has a CD player, you can send them a mix tape (mix CD). Of course, if you “pay attention,” you’ll learn if they are the type of person who wants mix tapes. Or, at the very least, tolerate them. Some songs I recommend:

Baby, I’m Dyin’ by Lolawolf
Don’t You Wanna Stay by Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean
Check On It by Beyoncé (featuring Bun B and Slim Thug)
Sex With Me by Rihanna
Moments by Tove Lo
Whatever You Like by T.I.
I’ve Got This Friend by The Civil Wars
Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap
Yayo by Lana Del Rey
Starving by Hailee Steinfeld & Grey
Heaven Sent by Keyshia Cole

Mind you these may be not so discreet and quietly subversive, but should get the message across. But, please know who they are before you send them mix tapes

Make sure you know what’s happening on their blog.

So, your crush has a weekly blog where they talk about their life, or critique pop culture, or offer advice? Like their posts every week. Comment every week.

All bloggers love the attention that’s why the blog. It gives you great things to bring up in conversation. i.e. “I loved your blog last week about what Pluto being reclassified means to a generation and how it’s shaped your view of yourself and your ability to return to who you’ve always been, but bigger and better.”

This is almost like “pay attention” but is strictly about bloggers and blogging. Seriously, they write because they want you to engage in what they wrote, so engage.

Add them as your “plus one” to events.

Invite them as your plus one to every event you can invite a plus one. I have been invited to birthday parties, to shows, and game nights (none of which I have attended) but I was always allowed to bring a plus one.

If you keep showing up to these events with the same person soon enough people will ask you if you two are together. Of course, you’ll deny it, but the seeds are planted.

Honest to God, two of my friends who have been married for 8 years now got together because someone asked them if they were together. The thought “never” entered their mine, but once they thought about it, they asked if it was something they both wanted try and it worked out! It’s not just for rom coms!

This might seem like a lot to due by next week, but you’ve got some time and you can keep working at it after Valentine’s Day. You know that calendar you have? Start making a to do list. You don’t have a calendar? Go buy one and prepare!

Check out more interesting ideas for Valentine’s Day with your crush like: The Best Unconventional Date Movies For Your Valentine’s Day or start your relationship off right with these 10 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship According To Experts.

Things to Do on Valentine’s Day If You’re Staying Inside Alone

February 7, 2018January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Single on Valentine’s Day? It can be a challenging day for many people, but it absolutely doesn’t have to be!

Watching others with their stuffed animals, balloons, chocolates, and lovers can be soul crushing. Don’t let yourself go there, because, more than anything, you are worth loving.

So, here are some things you can do for yourself all day and away from the traditional hearts and flowers. After all, it’s actually not a bad idea! There are alternative things to do to show yourself how you’re loved.

1. Declutter

Have you been meaning clear up you’re living space? Do you have five of the same shoes in different colors? Do you need them all? Do you want them all? What about that shirt you had since 7^th grade? Sure, it fits, but you’re 30 now so maybe you don’t need it. Besides, it’ll give you an excuse to go buy yourself something new!

What better day to get rid of things you don’t need than on Valentine’s Day. To declutter is a great way to start fresh. You will feel immensely productive; it will probably take you the whole day, and if you’re feeling a bit of the blues you might even find it easier to throw things away.

Time to forget sentimental ties to things that don’t matter and move forward

2. Cook

If you’re like me you only eat processed foods that don’t require anything other than microwave.

On this Valentine’s Day try cooking a meal that takes several hours. It’s not Thanksgiving, but why not put a Turkey in the oven? Or prepare meals for everyday of the week. That way you won’t have to eat out, buy more food, or even go outside at all for 7 days!

Even better if you wanted to try veganism, but never had the time, prep a week of vegan meals for you for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. No better time to really put your energy into making food you don’t normally eat.

3. Work out

Going to the gym can be a challenge. It takes drive. But, YouTube exists, so how about spending Valentine’s Day showing your body how much you love it by getting fit.

You can start the day with an hour of yoga. Then you continue with zumba. Then learn a few new dance routines. Beyonce’s “Formation?” Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi?” Michael Jackson’s “Thriller?” How about all of the above?

Of course, consider showering and eating in between.

3. Write

Are you a writer who likes to avoid writing? Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to draft your half hour/hour pilot you’ve been dreaming up. Or your 2-hour length feature script. Maybe you’ve never ever written and you want to try writing. Reddit has a few ideas with an entire subreddit dedicated to writing prompts.

If you’re a booklover, go start your novel! Valentine’s Day is a great day to begin a new career path.

4. Sleep

If you are someone who doesn’t get enough sleep let Valentine’s Day be the day you actually relax. Stay in bed. Close your eyes. Meditate. Avoid social media. Avoid all screens. Avoid all human contact. Just spend the day drifting in and out of your dreams. You deserve some rest.

I stayed in bed for most of today and I would like to have done it longer, but I had to write this! Catch up on all your sleep. You’ll be ready to take on the day that follows!

5. Watch every single movie nominated for an Oscar that is out on DVD, streaming or blueray.

Are you one of those people who hates the Oscars because they don’t nominate movies that you’ve seen? Well, try watching those nominated movies!

Or, if you’re the type of person that always tries to watch all of them, but haven’t had the time, Valentine’s Day is 24 hours long. You’ll probably be up for 12 of those hours which are enough to at least watch up to 6 movies. Try watching a foreign film nominee while you’re at it.

6. Declare your love

This is the most radical idea on this list.

On Valentine’s Day, I am asking you, a single person, to tell the person you like that you like them. Not just so you’re not single, but so you can start a new path and a new adventure.

Maybe you’re single because you don’t tell people how you feel. Or you close yourself off. If there is someone you have had your eye on and they’re single too, go tell them!

You might get utterly rejected but you did it and lived your true authentic self! Then you can move on to decluttering, working out, cooking, and sleeping.

But, maybe the person you have feelings for is scared to tell you how they feel about you too. If you feel the same way about one another then you don’t have to spend Valentine’s Day alone and the holiday can end up being the start of something new.

Let us strive for more great days!

Want other ideas for Valentine’s Day singles? Check out How to Annoy People in Love on Valentine’s Day: Top 10 List and get ready for one heck of a hilarious adventure!

What Does The Future Hold for Valentine’s Day?

February 7, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

It’s February, and I know the drill: candy aisles filled with heart-shaped boxes, jewelry ads bombarding my web feeds with Valentine’s Day.

For what initially started as a brutal Roman holiday, Valentine’s Day has become a capitalist wet dream. According to Hallmark, over 151 million cards are sold annually. Which is funny to me, since I’ve bought Valentines (think the pack of 32 that come with stickers and candy sometimes) but never an actual card.

I’ve always been single for V-Day. I’m in good company; as of 2014, Gallup says that 60% of people ages 18-29 have never been married. Another survey says that 58% of millenials view V-Day as overrated.

With student loan debt through the roof, and plenty of millenials living paycheck to paycheck, lots of us don’t have the means to splurge on gifts. So, how will a holiday that thrives on compulsory gift giving and flower buying bode for a decidedly anti-capitalist generation? Well, I have some ideas. Picture this: it’s 2118 and Valentine’s Day means…

Including lovers of all varieties (not just romantic ones)

The Spice Girls said it best: “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Except in this case, lovers can take a backseat.

Over the past few years, self-care has become a buzzword, a movement, and a market all at once. So yes, self-love, but this also means not placing as much importance in romantic relationships, and whether or not you’re a part of one.

With phenomena like “Galentine’s Day” taking off, millenials are over this couples-only world. More adult are single folks. More women are growing comfortable in living perfectly stable, fulfilled lives without a romantic partner. I’ve always liked the idea of a Valentine’s Day that uplifts all the people we love, not just the ones we’re romantically intimate with.

In 2118, Marketers realize that unabashed singles are an untapped market. If you try to sell me something on a couple’s pretense, I’m not interested. But in the name of self-care? Take my money, why don’t you!

Advertisers Switch Up Their Tactics

Not too many people genuinely enjoy ads, but I prefer to avoid them altogether. I hit the “skip ad” button on YouTube so quickly. If that’s not an option, I mute them. The case is even more extreme for younger millennials; Generation Z is the most difficult audience to market to yet.

Not only are younger generations less tolerant of commercials, but also the most sexually varied generation. This is a problem when V-Day largely caters to straight couples.

We are the most queer generation ever. We also have an awareness of different intersections of identity (racial, ethnic, sexual) that’s unprecedented. It’s simply not realistic for all marketing toward us to be a white man and a white woman kissing. Evolve or die, as they say, and I imagine V-Day evolving.

Since Millennials value authenticity above else, I picture more folks getting their Valentine’s paraphernalia from places like Depop and Etsy, rather than big box stores. Or, V-Day cards in the Hallmark aisle with a bunch of different categories (women loving men, women loving women, men loving men, nonbinary, asexual). Instead of e-cards, think meme cards.

Overall, I imagine a more underground V-Day celebration. Which brings me to…

Renegade Holidays Will Pop Up

We’ve seen this happening with the reclaiming of Columbus Day as Indigenous People’s day. For we non-Christmas celebrating folk, there’s Festivus. As a generation that’s already combating gender and sexuality norms, and all other norms, it would make sense for many millennials to flat out reject V-Day with our own alternative holiday.

We already have that in Galentine’s Day. Some places are ahead of the curve: in Finland, February 14 is National Friendship Day.

In 2118, I forecast celebrations like “Asexual Awareness Day”, “International Vibrator Day” or “International Singles Day,” many of which, incidentally, already exist, taking over. Because commercialism is boring and the internet is a wildly imaginative place.

I’m no psychic, so I may be off target. What I do know is that the existing Valentine’s Day model (dates, heart-shaped chocolates, nice jewelry) isn’t very old at all. Millennials aren’t your mother’s generation. And getting a stale box of Russell Stover’s chocolates is something I can do for myself, thank you.

V-Day 2118 may still have the big box store vestiges of white, pink and red. But before long, the holiday will largely be in the hands of the independent retailers. No matter what V-day looks like in future, some things won’t change. There will always be folks who, like me, celebrate the holiday on their own accord by eating heart-shaped pizza and watching raunchy comedies.

How to be a Great Vegan Lover

February 6, 2018January 22, 2024 by Maya Gottfriedin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Vegans are passionate people, which is a great quality between the sheets!

Committing to a vegan lifestyle, eschewing animal products in our lifestyles, applies to every aspect of our multifaceted lives, even the time we spend with our lovers between the sheets.

When I went vegan I was warned by some of those close to me that my love-interests might be put off by my cruelty-free lifestyle, but I stood proud in my vegan shoes.

Being vegan means I’m compassionate and considerate of others’ feelings, I have ambitions to make the world a better place, and I’ve been told that my skin has that mysterious vegan glow. To me, that all seems sexy. Would I want to be with someone who was turned off by those qualities? Of course not.

I’ve also heard from more than one lover of a vegan that we taste better than meat-eaters. Very sexy.

Valentine’s Day offers a wonderful opportunity to spread vegan love

We vegans are great lovers because of the passion and compassion we bring to the bedroom. There are also some tools we can take into our dating lives and to bed to supercharge the vegan love.

Being a fantastic vegan lover can mean sharing the delights of vegan food, and most dates appreciate the effort of a meal prepared by their love-interest.

For Valentine’s Day, why not seduce your love with a delectable vegan lasagna followed by sweet cruelty-free cookies and coconut milk ice cream for dessert? You can serve it all picnic-style on your living room floor, lounging on pillows and lit by soy candles.

For vegans, there are lots of fun ways to get sexy

When it comes time to slip on protection, it helps keep things hot to be fully prepared. When we avoid animal products, that means doing a little more research into our protection that looking at the brands on display at the drugstore.

Some condoms contain casein, a milk derivative, and others are made from lamb intestines. Not vegan.

With a little research ahead of time, sexy vegans will know to pack a brand like Sir Richard’s condoms when going on dates, which are vegan certified. Being prepared will keep you safe, keep you in the mood, and keep you vegan. Other brands offering vegan condoms include Glyde, L., and Durex (their non-latex options are vegan).

You can heat up Valentine’s Day with sexy cruelty-free lingerie

Though many of us like to cut to the chase, some of us prefer to slow things down, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to invest in some fun lingerie to enjoy as part of a romantic evening with a lover.

However, being vegan means avoiding animal products in our clothing, including silk, which is the result of insects losing their lives. In fact, every pound of silk comes at the cost of the lives of thousands of silkworms. So not sexy.

There might be an historic association between silk and sexy lingerie, but there are plenty of gorgeous cruelty-free options available for those who want to avoid the suffering caused by the fabric. We can be great vegan lovers by decorating ourselves in tantalizing pieces that are made without harm to animals.

My all-time favorite lingerie designer is Agent Provocateur and lucky for us vegans they offer plenty of beautiful silk-free pieces including garter belts and corsets, bodysuits and bras (like the gorgeous Daliah bra made out of 100% polyamide). Just remember to check the fabric content to be sure your piece of choice is cruelty-free.

The Brand Luva Huva also offers beautiful lingerie in fabrics other than silk. Their beautiful Cosette Bamboo Slip is slinky and sexy and completely cruelty-free.

Vegan lubricants may take sex to the next level

For many, lubricants take sex to the next level, with a magic touch. For others, they are necessary due to pain caused by medical conditions. Whatever the case, they are a wonderful addition to an intimate evening with your lover.

To be great vegan lovers, we can tote one of the assortment of cruelty-free lubricants available. The brand Sliquid boasts 60 vegan products for between the sheets, including Sizzle lubricant which cools on contact and warms with friction. A great way for vegans to heat things up in bed.

Also available from Sliquid are vegan flavored lubricants in cherry vanilla, strawberry pomegranate, and other tasty options. For the adventurous, these are a great way to invite creativity into the bedroom and have fun more fun with your lover while keeping things 100% vegan and cruelty-free.

Some myths might have you believe that vegans aren’t as sexually engaged as omnivores, but with a great deal of passion, delicious lingerie, and some fun tools in bed, those who avoid cruelty to animals make fantastic vegan lovers.

Check out Vegan: An Expert Guide to Plant-Based Dating by the same author.

Valentine’s Day Is Great, But Here Are My Favorite Ways to Show Love All Year Round

February 5, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

On a mission to set my marriage up for success, I’ve made a plan to bring Valentine’s Day to every month.

I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day.

As a kid, I always looked forward to collecting paper Valentine’s Day (especially the ones that came with candy or temporary tattoos). As I got older, I loved going out for special dates and getting spoiled with gifts or flowers. Plus, no matter what my age or relationship status, I’ve always looked forward to the day after Valentine’s Day when I can score all the half-priced candy.

All around, it’s a good holiday in my book.

And yet, I’m always left wanting more. Not to say that the holiday is disappointing, but I wish that Valentine’s Day didn’t end so quickly. I want to celebrate my relationship, and have an excuse to do something special, all year long.

This year is my fiancé and my last Valentine’s Day as a unmarried couple, and as our wedding gets closer, we want to do everything we can to set our marriage up for success. So, we’ve been focusing on bringing the spirit of Valentine’s Day to every part of the year and practicing showing each other love whenever we can.

Boy, has it made a difference! It’s amazing what a small gesture can do, and how easy it is to make your partner’s day. It brings you closer together, makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and reminds you both of how much you love each other.

Here are some ways that you too can bring Valentine’s Day to every month:

1. If your partner likes flowers and chocolates… buy them more often

Last year, I made a point to make pies during the Summer. Why? I love pie, and I realized I hadn’t had a slice for months. I only thought to buy or make pies during November and December, because I thought of them as a “holiday only” dessert.

I had ten whole other months to enjoy pie that I wasn’t taking advantage of. And that’s just silly.

It’s the same thing with Valentine’s Day.

Every year when February hits, stores stock up on their flowers and chocolates. It’s always fun to see the heart-shaped candies and beautiful roses in vases, but we shouldn’t be waiting for February to get our partners some chocolates or buy them flowers.

If your significant other likes those chocolate turtles (don’t we all?), surprise him or her with a box of them any time of the year. If your honey loves fresh flowers, you’ve got a whole 12 months to buy them. Plus, different flowers will be in season at different times, so you can bring home a different bouquet every time.

I love dark chocolate, and it means so much when my fiancé brings some home just because. It’s a nice way to say he was thinking of me and getting a special treat always makes me happy.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit: some things are strictly seasonal. You’ll have to wait for that pumpkin spice latte and it’s hard to find peppermint bark in June. Just don’t miss out on an opportunity to surprise your sweetie with a special treat he or she loves.

2. Valentine’s cards aren’t just for February, share your thoughts whenever you can

I love Valentine’s Day cards. They’re cute, romantic, and sometimes a little dirty.

Giving your partner a card on Valentine’s Day is nice, but it might mean even more when you give them one out of the blue. Surprising your love by writing some nice things in a card and slipping it into their bag before work, or packing it with their clothes before a business trip, can go a long way.

It’s sweet, flirty, and could really brighten up their day. Play with the idea of getting a few romantic cards during the Valentine’s season, and using them all year. You can write a funny poem, list some things you love about your relationship, or write something sexy. It’s sure to make your partner feel special and appreciated.

Not into the card idea? Maybe stick to text. I’ll never forget the time my fiancé sent me some photos he’d taken of flowers in a garden, saying he was thinking of me. It was such a simple thing, and only took a minute to do, but it really brightened my day and reminded me of how much he cares about me.

3. Plan romantic date nights all year round

My fiancé and I are so busy with work, grad school, and life in general, that our date night dinners usually turn into scarfing down Chipotle in front of the TV before going to bed.

Oh, the romance.

You don’t have to wait until February (or you anniversary) to have a special meal together. Make a plan to have those romantic date nights on non-holiday times.

When my fiancé and I want to have a romantic meal, we love going to this cute little Greek restaurant down the street. But don’t assume that you have to go out to have a good time. You can stay home, dim the lights, pour some wine, and even light some candles.

If you and your honey work late or have kids, downsize the same idea to a late-night dessert. Even with less time, you’ll get the same benefit. You’ll spend some uninterrupted alone time together and get a chance to turn up the romance.

4. Breakfast in bed isn’t just for special occasions

Speaking of meals, I love breakfast in bed. It’s one of those Valentine’s Day traditions that should really be an “everyday thing.” Yet, somehow, most of us have to go to the kitchen for breakfast every single day. Exhausting.

Make one day a week (or maybe one morning a month) a “breakfast in bed day.” It doesn’t have to be a big deal: toast a couple slices of bread, scramble some eggs, pour that coffee, and share it with your honey in your room. It could make a lazy Saturday the best day of the week.

Or, if you’re not sure you can get out of bed in the morning without waking your light-sleeping cutie, plan a stay-at-home breakfast date. I love to put on my cute pajamas, slip on those bunny slippers, and make breakfast with my fiancé.

You can flip pancakes while your honey squeezes orange juice, then sit down to watch some saturday morning cartoons. It’s a nice way to relax together, and this special date is the perfect way to show you care without breaking the bank.

5. Give “just because” presents

There’s always pressure to give gifts at holidays or anniversaries, but I find that the more I expect to get gifts, the less I really enjoy them. I already know I’m getting a present, so when it’s not exactly what I want, I might feel a little disappointed, rather than thankful, like I should.

And yet, whenever my fiancé brings home a DVD of a movie I wanted to see but missed in theaters, or orders me a funny cat t-shirt off Amazon, I’m always amazed and incredibly grateful. I wasn’t expecting anything, so even the smallest, silliest thing will seem so sweet.

Surprise your cutie with a little something every now and then, it doesn’t have to be much: maybe just grab a trinket the next time you’re in Target or buy a magazine you think your partner will like when you’re at the grocery store. A little can go a long way, and it tells your special someone that you were thinking of them, which makes it even better.

6. Walk down memory lane

Sometimes we forget to appreciate each other, and all the things we’ve done together. Bringing up a fun date night or looking at some old pictures can really spark those romance vibes and remind you of fun memories.

I like to surprise my fiancé with a framed picture from a special day or even just share a post on Facebook from this time last year. Looking back on memories you’ve shared can make you both feel especially appreciative of your relationship.

7. Plan an event

You don’t need to wait for a special day to plan an event. It’s popular to buy tickets for a show or concert to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but there are fun events going on all year.

Planning an activity is a nice gesture that tells your partner that you want to do cool things with them, and it’s a great way to bond over memorable experiences.

My fiancé and I love seeing comedy shows, so we’re always on the lookout for when our favorite comedians are coming to town. It’s so much fun to go out and do something extra special once in a while, and we get to share something we both love.

Of course, not everyone’s bank accounts will allow for an event every weekend, but getting tickets to a midnight movie or concert a few months in advance will give you something to look forward to together, and that’s half the fun.

8. Remember to listen

While little surprises and kind gestures will go a long way, communication may be the most important thing in your relationship.

I always try my best to show an interest in what my fiancé says, because I know how important it is to feel listened to.

There’s nothing more romantic, and nothing that will show how much you care, more than listening to your partner. Focus on their stories, ask questions about their day, and take care to remember what they talk about so you can ask about it later. Showing how interested you are in their successes, and their challenges, will mean so much to your beau, and will help your love thrive.

Because I always have so much fun on Valentine’s Day, I use these practices to bring the Valentine’s Day spirit to my relationship, and soon, my marriage, all year long. Hopefully some of my tips will help you and your partner to show your love all year round too.

Need some more ideas for Valentine’s Day? Check out 17 Ways to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day if You’re Tired of Flowers and Candy, How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day, or Perfect Bedroom Tips for Valentine’s.

10 Creative Proposal Ideas Just In Time For Valentine’s Day

February 3, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

If your wish is for a completely untraditional proposal, you’ll want to read these 10 ideas for some inspiration.

If you’re thinking of popping the question this Valentine’s Day, you’ll want to read up on these creative proposal ideas.

There’s nothing better than being completely surprised by a marriage proposal. These ideas make for a memorable moment in the history of your partner and you. Taking the next step in your relationship is huge, why not make it special?

For couples who want a completely creative proposal experience, here are 10 one-of-a-kind wedding proposal ideas.

1. Use your furry loved one.

If your significant other and you own a dog or cat, tie the ring on a ribbon on their collar. Use one of those chalkboard signs like this cute bone-shaped one to write “Will you marry me?” on it. You can also design a pet-sized t-shirt that pops the question. I’m hoping our adorable English bulldog is how my boyfriend chooses to propose to me someday.

2. Hide the ring in a new article of clothing.

Set up the scene for a typical date night with a fancy twist—make dinner reservations or maybe get tickets to a musical. Here’s the twist—get your partner a new piece of clothing.

One of my best friends did this for his wife. He bought her a dress with pockets and laid it out for her before seeing the opera. She, being a woman who loves pockets on a dress, instantly stuck her hands in them and boom—there was the ring. Cue the awws!

3. Take out an ad in the newspaper.

As a journalist, I just swoon over this idea. Take out an ad in the newspaper and pitch a morning of croissants and coffee at your favorite park. Watch the surprise of your loved one as they find an ad that says “will you marry me?”

4. Use those glow-in-the-dark star stickers from your childhood.

Remember those glowing stars you used in your bedroom as a child? Spell out “WILL U MARRY ME?” on your ceiling or a wall. Take your significant other into a room, turn out the lights and make them look up. Grab some champagne and toast “underneath” the stars.

5. Create a custom puzzle.

I love making custom gifts for the holidays. This site has the opportunity to create a customized puzzle. Make it say “Marry me?” with your favorite picture of you two. Give it as a birthday or holiday gift. Wait until the perfect snowy or rainy afternoon comes up and suggest putting it together. Watch your future fiancé’s face light up as he or she begins to read what the puzzle says.

6. Channel Love Actually.

Everyone’s favorite holiday movie actually has the perfect proposal idea that’s glaring us all right in the face. Grab some poster board and channel Mark pining over Juliet with his message while “carolers” played.

This one works especially well if you live separately. Knock on your love’s door and get ready for some serious happy tears.

7. Use your partner’s co-workers or students.

I used to love watching The Office and thought that Jim and Pam’s wedding scene was tear-jerkingly perfect.

See if you can get your partner’s co-workers or students (if they’re a teacher), for a line dance or special proposal reveal. I’m not going to lie either, I still entertain the idea of making my future bridal party do a “Forever”-style dance down the aisle!

8. Grab a cereal box.

Remember the prizes inside cereal boxes you used to covet as a kid? This one is super cute—stuff the ring at the bottom of a cereal box and ask for help getting the prize out over breakfast one morning. Try not to give away how excited you are!

9. For TV fanatics, use Stranger Things

This one is definitely for the tech-savvy. You know how Joyce Byers had her ABC wall of holiday lights to communicate with Will? Set a similar one up and make it say “Marry me?” Chance are your Netflix-obsessed loved one will say yes in a heartbeat.

10. Breakfast in bed.

This may seem so simple and sweet but getting creative with food is always a fun idea. You can use blueberries atop fluffy pancakes to spell “WILL U MARRY ME?” or use bacon too if you’ve got a meat-loving significant other.

Use creative and unique ideas to propose this Valentine’s Day.

Sometimes, it seems like every fun proposal idea is taken. You’ve seen every down-on-one-knee, flowers in hand, perfect scene.

To wow your partner, try something new like these 10 unique proposal ideas that will make the day you get engaged one to remember.

Wondering if you’ll change your name after getting engaged? Check out this piece on changing your name after you’re married.

The Best Unconventional Date Movies For Your Valentine’s Day

February 2, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes The Notebook just doesn’t cut it.

Movies have always been a staple in date ideas. Sitting in the back row, watching a movie with your partner (but not really watching the movie, if you catch my drift) is an appealing concept. So intimate, getting to share the experience of the movie world together, while also getting to take part in something that the rest of the world is watching as well. It can lead to stimulating conversation, and can allow you to learn more about your partner through their taste.

However, being the lover of all movies I am, I tend to see movies with partners that stray from the typical romantic fluff or current blockbuster. I like to really test my partner through the movies I show them. Here’s a few of my most memorable date movie experiences.

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

This film is my personal litmus test of whether or not I can truly date someone. Little Shop has something for everyone- a romantic subplot, musical numbers, horror elements, 1980’s comedy stars- you name it. It’s a campy movie that will literally make you laugh and cry within minutes. Not to mention it was my childhood favorite, so liking this movie really does mean a lot to me on a personal level.

The Room (2003)

Every person I’ve ever dated has loved The Room. This unintentionally funny cult movie directed by and starring the legendary Tommy Wiseau takes the stereotypical romance movie to new heights.

The dialogue is filled with cringey gems that you’ll be quoting for the rest of your life, and will be a wholesome and fun bonding experience with your partner. Even better, pair it with The Disaster Artist (the new film about the making of the room starring James Franco), and make it a double feature.

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982)

This is truly my partner and I’s movie. There was one day, before we dated, where I was taking a nap in his living room while he was in his bedroom watching this film. I woke up to the creepy stylings of the movie’s theme (“Happy happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween…”), and without even seeing it, I was immediately hooked. We watched it when we started dating, and I fell in love with this underrated classic (even if Michael Myers isn’t in it).

The To-Do List (2013)

My first official date with my first real boyfriend consisted of sitting in his grandma’s living room and watching this movie on demand.

This awkward comedy about a teenage girl (Aubrey Plaza) trying to lose her virginity before college was a surprisingly great way to break the ice between us, also being young and sexually inexperienced. Afterwards we watched Juno. That, on the other hand, is not a movie I would recommend on a first date.

Carrie (1976 and 2013)

It seems like this movie follows me with every relationship I’ve been in.

I met my first boyfriend as a teenager (who I dated for five days, or a “business week” as we called it) at a performance of Carrie: the Musical, which yes, is a real thing. After that I met the following boyfriend at the midnight premiere of the Carrie remake. And of course, strangely enough, a week after my current partner and I started dating, the original Brian DePalma classic ended up being on TV.

I don’t know what it is about this movie, but I’m not complaining. It’s a great movie.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1976)

Another instance of “if you don’t like this one, we can’t date.”

This one is kind of cheating, since my current partner and I are both part of a Rocky Horror shadowcast. We met as co-stars, and bonded over our love of the movie. He had been a fan since practically kindergarten, and had been part of the cast for 15 years. I was new to shadowcasting, but I had been going to screenings since I was 12. It brought us together, and is definitely the most important movie in my life.

Sometimes the most romantic movies are the most unexpected ones. Every couple has those films, the ones that really bring them together. Whether it’s through humor, fear, or sadness, a film can bring out emotion between you and your partner in a way that you might not get from other shared experiences. For your next date night, consider showing your partner your favorite movie. Maybe you’ll learn something new about them.

Honestly, I think I’d have a hard time dating someone who didn’t share the same weird taste as me. It’s surprisingly a big part of any relationship. Having something like that in common can be hugely beneficial. Movies can say a lot about your personality and interests. And who knows, perhaps after watching, they’ll fall for you even more.