Need expert advice on love? We got you.
Meeting someone you really care for is fun and exciting. You want to make sure your relationship is a mutually fulfilling and stable one. But how do you know it’s healthy for sure?
As much as advice from our friends or family may help, an impartial and experienced perspective might give your relationship the check-up it actually needs.
Here are 10 signs of a healthy relationship according to various experts:
1. You completely trust each other.
According to psychiatrist Abigail Brenner, M.D, “Trust means that you believe that your partner has what it takes to weather the storms of life and come through them standing by your side.”
You know that your partner is there for you, through the good and the bad. You love and respect each other throughout life’s ups and downs. She adds, “Trust implies the unshakable confidence that no matter what happens, your partner will remain loyal to you and the relationship, will honor their commitments, will not lie, and will remain open to working out whatever difficulties arise.”
Ultimately, you both have each other’s backs.
2. You make room for each other’s dreams.
As much as we want to create a shared life together, it is still very important to maintain or own goals and dreams. Not doing so can lead to problems down the road. Often times couples initially put aside some of their individual goals to build a life together.
“Partners who respect and support those buried desires want them to happen,” says Dr. Randi Gunther, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor. “They know that some of their relationship priorities may have to be rescheduled, and the resources to make that happen must be willingly reallocated.”
A great relationship means knowing your partner believes in you and wants you to fulfil your hopes and dreams.
3. You speak your mind.
Devon Corneal, writer for RealSimple states, “Relationships thrive when couples can express themselves freely and honestly. That means no topic is off limits, and you both feel heard. Consistent communication is vital to building a lasting life together.”
That being said, it is always done tactfully and respectfully. You want your partner to know what you are thinking and where you are coming from dso that they can truly know you.
4. You fight fair.
Conflict is a normal part of any close relationship. But it is how you handle it and how you treat each other during the conflict that matters most. Using it as a way to resolve the issue and move forward is one of the best signs of a healthy relationship.
“A good relationship is one where the two of you fight fair. In other words, you don’t curse, scream, talk down to each other or dismiss each other,” says relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch.
5. You accept each other’s imperfections.
No one is perfect, and expecting perfection from your partner is toxic. You are realistic about your expectations of others.
“No guy or girl will be able to put you first 100 percent of the time. No partner will be willing to stay up late on every single work night just to talk to you about life. No significant other can always drop what they’re doing to be available when you need them,” reflects Marisa Donnelly, author and poet.
We have to be able to cut our partner slack and accept that they will not always react perfectly. They will make mistakes and let us down at times.
She adds, “Real love is not about holding out for the perfect person or finding someone who meets all the criteria on your list. Real love is about finding an imperfect person and building a messy, beautiful love.”
6. You are kind to each other.
“Nothing is more important than treating the person you love with care, consideration, empathy, and appreciation,” says Devon Corneal.
You treat your partner with the same kindness and generosity as your best friends and close family members. You find yourself doing this because you want to, not out of obligation.
7. You have similar values.
“Ideally, you’re on the same page about key life issues — family values, raising children, religious and spiritual life, even politics. Having a similar way of looking at life creates a shorthand way to relate to each on important issues” suggests Dr. Abigail Brenner.
You aren’t the same in every way, but you are on the same page about the important things in life. This helps you plan for accomplishing life goals together and on the same timeline.
8. You keep your promises.
You keep your word and your partner trusts that you will. You keep your promise even if you partner will not find out if you broke it.
“When you experience true love, your moral conscience becomes very strong when it comes to this one special person,” says writer Elizabeth Arthur at Love Panky.
You also don’t say you will do something you have no intention of doing just to keep the peace. You say what you mean and mean what you say.
9. You value each other’s individuality and boundaries.
Dr. Abigail Brenner states, “Our individual differences should never be seen as being “less than” someone else’s, but as opportunities to gain a new perspective. A healthy relationship nurtures and embraces each of our special qualities.”
This also means you spend time apart to focus on your own interests. You understand that you each need time alone and with your own friends.
10. You feel really happy.
“Just watching this special person smile or laugh out loud fills you with intense happiness, even if you’re suffering or having a hard day,” notes Elizabeth Arthur.
You enjoy each other’s company and brighten each other’s day. You both can’t wait to share good news with each other and fill them in on what is happening in your life.
When you see these signs of a healthy relationship, 10 out of 10 experts would agree: you’re in a loving partnership.
The road to love may be difficult at times, but that’s to be expected. Keeping good and optimistic advice on your mind may not only make the journey a bit smoother, but also more rewarding. Who doesn’t want that?
For more articles about lasting love, check out “True Love Lessons from Sierra: Be Yourself” and “20 Relationship Memes That Will Give You All The Feels If You’re In Love.”