Girl Who Doesn’t Go Big On Valentine’s…How About You?

February 13, 2017January 22, 2024 by Jennifer Ashley Greenein DATING ADVICE, LOVE

I have nothing against romance, love, or intimacy, in the least; I just enjoy doing things on my terms.

I’ve never been the type of girl who goes big for Valentine’s Day.

Scratch that. When I was a little girl, it was arguably my favorite holiday as I was nothing short of obsessed with those little conversation hearts. I ate them as if they were about to be discontinued. Now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure those hearts are majorly to blame for each of my cavities. Fast forward to adult life, when the fun of exchanging Valentines with classmates (and hopefully your crush) is replaced with the pressure to buy into Hallmark’s idea of the “perfect” Valentine’s Day and you end up where I am, desperate to do anything else other than act romantic on this silly holiday. Yes, anything.

Anticipation

My lack of anticipation around #Valentine’s Day could also be attributed to the years of #Valentine’s Days I spent as a waitress, mainly existing as a vehicle to ensure that some other couple enjoyed their evening together. Call me cynical, but I just don’t agree with the notion of being forced to celebrate your relationship along with millions of other couples, on one specific day.

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It’s Not the Climax Date on the Calendar That Matters

February 13, 2017January 22, 2024 by Lisa Lauretain RELATIONSHIPS

This plan couldn’t be beat…until it was.

I’ve never cared much about Christmas, or Thanksgiving. I don’t go “home for the holidays.” I haven’t given Valentine’s Day a second thought since I was a teenager.

Precious Days

I’m not completely devoid of sentiment. I do have a couple of special days a year that I celebrate “religiously.” Halloween and New Year’s Eve have always had great significance to me. Halloween because it’s when everyone acts the way they wish they could the rest of the year, and New Year’s Eve because it’s symbolic of a new beginning, a wiping of the slate, a celebration of accomplishments from the year before and an acknowledgement of goals and dreams about what’s to come. Those are precious days to me and as such, I try to spend them doing special things with people who I find invaluable to my life.

This year, I spent Halloween with a friend rather than my partner, because my partner was out of town for a couple of months. When he’d announced his plans to be gone over my favorite holiday, I was slightly heartbroken, but understood. It was for the trip of a lifetime and I wasn’t going to let a one-day, city-wide costume party get in the way of that for him. It just meant to both of us that New Year’s Eve would be even more special.

Unforgettable Date with Mom

His mom was in town on over the holiday weeks, so on New Year’s Eve Day we went to a small island off the coast of Southern California and did some cave kayaking. It was amazing. I saw wild foxes, seals, dolphins and some whales; truly an unforgettable day. That night, however, was for us and his mom understood that, so she said we should take it for ourselves and do something special.

Epic Climax Date Plans

When he had asked me what I wanted to do, being the overly amorous gal that I am, I told him my only real goal for the night was for us to be climaxing during the countdown, and for a full release at “Happy New Year!” He agreed that would be an epic New Year’s plan. All that was left was location.

We’d originally intended to go camping, somewhere not too far, like Joshua Tree. However, the weather had other plans, deciding that torrential downpours followed by sub-zero temperatures would be a better way to spend New Years. So J Tree was out, however, there were closer places we could go. We explored all of our options, and as wet and cold as it was going to be, it seemed like the best plan would be to just stick to a hike somewhere close. We would get to the top of a mountain, screw each other’s brains out until the countdown was over, and then head home.

Dehydration…a Kicker

This plan couldn’t be beat…until it was. My partner, who avoided drinking water during our all-day kayaking trip because he didn’t want to pee in his wet suit, was extremely dehydrated. We took in a bunch of fluids and made some macaroni and cheese. Did I mention he’s lactose intolerant? Just a little bit, but apparently something like that is greatly exacerbated by a weakened system due to dehydration. Needless to say, he started to not feel very well.

Should I Stay or Should I Go

We took a quick nap before our hike and I woke up ready to go! He woke up…slightly less excited. I couldn’t tell at that point whether he just didn’t feel like going out or he was really ill. So I said I could go on my own. This was in no way meant out of spite or passive aggression, and he knew that. I simply wanted to be outside at midnight and I don’t like dragging people along when they don’t want to be there. He insisted on coming with me. He just kept saying, “I wanna be with you.”

What I should have said was, “okay, let’s stay here then.” But I still didn’t fully realize just how bad it was, until we got to the mountain. We got out of the car with our backpack filled with Trader Joe’s fireworks chocolate, sparkling apple cider, and a blanket. He wasn’t looking great, so I asked him if we should go back. “NO! I want it to be special.” Just minutes into the hike it became apparent to me just how ill he was. We were stopping every few minutes for him to collect himself. This was certainly going to be a special night. But not the type of special either of us had intended.

The Mountain at Midnight

We made it up to the mountain and during the midnight count down he was off in the bushes taking care of some nasty business while I toasted myself for my achievement of keeping cool and not being too grossed out. We headed back down the mountain and I drove us home. By this time more than ever I felt terrible for making him come with me and being so insistent on this being a special night.

Best Laid Plans Became a Care Package

I took care of him the rest of the night and the entire next day. While I nursed him back to health I realized something. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older now and don’t party anymore, or if it’s because I’ve finally found someone who I’m calm and comfortable with, but it didn’t matter to me that it wasn’t ideal. This night was actually the opposite of ideal. It was kind of the worst. I watched disgusting things happen to the person I was supposed to be doing altogether other kinds of disgusting things with. But despite this, I was glad to have spent the night with him. I was happy to have been able to take care of him and I was glad he was around. This leads me to ask the ever important question: what happened to me?!

Another Day for a “Special” Date

We made a deal to do a countdown later on this year, which we’ve set a date for. We’ll recreate New Year’s Eve well past its actual date, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’ll be together, and that we were together.

So this Valentine’s day, I urge you, dear reader, to treat it like any other day: special. Special not because it’s February 14, but because of the company you’re with and the moments you share. Even if those moments turn out gross.

I’m Taking Valentine’s Back: A Curable Romantic

February 14, 2017January 22, 2024 by Virginia Jonesin LOVE

I have had an awful superstition about Valentine’s day. You?

Growing up, I loved Valentine’s day. I really did. I loved writing little cards for my friends, doling out the extra big cards to the kids I REALLY was nuts about, making little candy bags, decorating a shoebox mailbox to within an inch of its life.

I loved it as an adult, getting dressed up and going out with someone special. I would make handmade cards for my friends at work and was generally a Valentine’s weirdo. I loved Valentine’s day for both platonic and romantic love. I loved having an excuse for telling people I cared about them.

One year, I got up at five in the morning and drove to a white-tiled tunnel in Portland. It would get grimy from car exhaust and you could write in it. I wrote KENNY BE MINE with a yellow sponge mop, knowing that the same Kenny would drive past it on the way to work and wonder if it was for him. As it turns out, most of his office knew and teased him mercilessly. But I loved doing it.

A few years later, I got asked out on a first date on Valentine’s day. It was such a preposterously bad idea I agreed to it, like wearing a jumpsuit to a wedding. We went out for drinks and I said, I heard you were still married, and he said yeah, but she doesn’t live here anymore. At the time, I gave this a pass, but today I’d say if you ask a person if they’re married and they say yes, you shouldn’t continue to see them.

We got serious very quickly and were married a year later.

Ten years later, he asked me for a divorce on Valentine’s day, because he was seeing a friend of mine and he wanted her to live in the house where I lived and he thought it might get crowded. I felt really blindsided. I knew we weren’t the best marriage ever, but I thought we were functional. I had hoped it would improve, but now it wouldn’t.

So, I moved out to Los Angeles, and got a stupid haircut, and did all the stuff divorced women are supposed to do. Dated people who were too young for me. Lived in a fancy apartment full of other divorced ladies. Got many pedicures, bought myself flowers. A year later on Valentine’s day, I was in Bangkok, Thailand, and my friend wrote me an email and said, hey, how you doin’, and I said, not that bad, and she said, are your text messages turned off, and I said yeah, it’s too expensive here, and she said Oh! Well, we’ll talk when you get home. So, when I landed at LAX, I finally turned on my text messages and my phone started going off like a slot machine bring barrring barrring barrring and for a second I thought, am I famous for something? So, I have all these messages because everyone wants to tell me that my husband got married on Valentine’s day, to the girl he left me for, on the radio, so that pretty much everyone I knew heard it. True to form, he had married her in about a year. Just likes being married, I guess.

This is his third marriage, and I wish the third wife the best of luck, because, you know, he cheated on the first two! But probably they don’t need luck, because according to his facebook posts, their love is special.

One of the first things I learned when I got divorced, is that they’re all sad. Even your friend who bitched about her husband constantly is sad when he’s not her husband anymore, because it’s a wish that didn’t come true, and a promise they couldn’t keep- so, when someone tells you they’re getting a divorce, please keep in mind that the correct response is never- that’s great!

Another of the gifts of being divorced is that it makes everything else seem not so bad. It’s like bombing onstage in comedy, once you’ve truly tried to share your worldview with a roomful of people who want no part of it, once you’ve been talking onstage to just sheer, thick, unadulterated silence, and you survive that, you know you can survive a lot of things. So, every traffic ticket or lost credit card I’ve had since then, I have real perspective on, like, well, I didn’t just get unceremoniously dumped! It could absolutely be worse. It always can.

For several years, I have had an awful superstition about Valentine’s day, and have panicked and ended relationships around then, and have regarded with suspicion it like you might give a wary eye to the corner where you had a bad car accident- it doesn’t mean it will happen again, but now you know that it could.

It’s been six years now, and my Valentine’s day breakup doesn’t strike me as tragic anymore, it’s just annoying, more like a papercut or a stubbed toe rather than a stabbing feeling in one’s chest. It’s not Valentine’s day’s fault. It’s just a dumb little holiday that the Romans started when they noticed that the weather was a little warmer and all the animals around them were doing it. I can still love my friends. I can still share feelings with a partner. So, this is the year I’m taking it back. I’m going to make dumb little cards and make romantic plans. But I’m not going out to dinner. That’s for suckers.

My Complex Life and Lessons Around Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2017January 22, 2024 by Kelley Lynnin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I wish you were more romantic. I wanted to feel special today, and you forgot.

On Superbowl Sunday in the year 2005, my then “boyfriend”, soon to be fiance and then husband, drove a Penske moving truck with his cat in his lap and his life in boxes, from Florida to New Jersey, to begin a new life with me. We had been through a 7-year long-distance relationship together, and after saving lots of money and doing lots of planning, the love of my life decided to finally make his move and leave his friends, family, and job as an EMT in Florida.

Ten days later, it was Valentine’s Day. Our first one as a couple, living together. Don was still unpacking his 50,000 boxes and thousands of various random items, life was chaotic, and we were both still getting used to the idea of being each other’s new “roommates.”

When Valentine’s Day came, the hopeless-romantic girl part of me took over, and I guess I expected my man to do something epic. I was picturing beautiful hand-written poetry or cards, gorgeous floral bouquets, a romantic gourmet dinner made by him (even though the man couldn’t boil water, literally), spontaneous slow-dancing in our living room, chocolate-covered strawberries (my favorite) being fed to me as we gazed into each other’s eyes; the works. I don’t know why, really. Maybe all the years of this Hallmark, commercial holiday had finally gotten to me. Maybe the pressures of society and seeing endless girls getting roses at the office and none for me, played on my heart. Maybe I was so depressed and sad in past Valentine’s Days, because I pretty much never had a Valentine, that I was convinced THIS was my year to finally reap the rewards of true love and romance.

I don’t know what made me expect and picture those things, but those things were not what I got. The spontaneous dancing never happened, and the flowers never came. Instead, my guy parked himself down on the worn-out couch, let out a big sigh, and exclaimed: “Damn. I’m exhausted.” I proceeded to run into the bathroom and cry.

“How could you forget Valentine’s Day?’,I selfishly wailed to him through the door. “I wish you were more romantic. I wanted to feel special today, and you forgot.” I continued to cry for way longer than was necessary, and then I made him feel really bad and really guilty for forgetting, on our first Valentine’s Day together. Now, looking back on this moment that I am NOT proud of, this would have been the perfect opportunity for my beloved, to grab his 500 million boxes and his cat, and run screaming away from me as fast as he possibly could, and into the arms of a normal woman, who is sane. It also would have been the perfect time for him to call me out on being a total whiny bitch about nothing. But he didn’t. That is not who he was. Ever. Instead, this dear man said very sincerely and genuinely and with a bit of a smirk: “Oh boy. I think I’m in trouble here. I’m sorry, sweetie. I just moved in and I was so tired from the move, it just slipped my mind. I promise I’ll do better next year. I won’t forget. I’m sorry.”

Later that year, we got engaged, and in 2006, we got married. Him forgetting Valentine’s Day became an ongoing joke with us throughout our almost 5 years together, and each year from then on, he would get me 2 cards instead of one, 2 bags of candy instead of one, and 2 bouquets of roses instead of one – all to make up for the “one” he forgot the first time around. When we laughed about it, which was often, I would ask him why he didn’t pack up his shit and leave me right then and there, to save himself from a life of living with an unappreciative girly-bitch. He laughed it off and said: “I will admit to getting a bit peeved when you said I’m not romantic. All I could think was: ‘Not romantic? I just packed up my entire LIFE and moved to freakin’ NEW JERSEY, for you!!! Who moves to New Jersey? This place sucks! You don’t get more romantic than THAT, woman!” This theme became such an inside joke for us in our time together, that he repeated that question as part of his self-written wedding vows to me. “My love for you sometimes defies all logic. After all, who moves to New Jersey? On purpose?” Our friends and family roared with laughter.

Now, today, five and a half years after my husband’s sudden death, it is Valentine’s. I can’t help but think about all the many ways in which I have changed since losing him, and all the many things I wish like hell I could tell him I’m sorry for. Before I knew my husband, I spent way too many years being upset and sad that I didn’t have anyone on Valentine’s Day. And then I DID have someone on Valentine’s Day, FINALLY! Not only did I have someone, I had someone who changed his life for me, changed where he was living for me, took a risk on love for me. And I didn’t appreciate it. Not that first year. I was too focused on my perception of what Valentine’s Day meant, and what I should be “getting” as a result of it. The whole time, the greatest gift of my life, was sitting right there on my couch, exhausted from just moving his entire life – for me. For us. From that day forward, the entire idea of Valentine’s Day, and love itself, changed for me. I started caring less about why he didn’t spontaneously get me flowers, and started seeing all the incredible things this man did for me every single day – things that matter. Now, I’m not going to bullshit anyone here. I am STILL a hopeless romantic. I love flowers, I love spontaneous dancing in the living room, and I’m still waiting for my gourmet romantic dinner – made with love from a person who cares about me. I still get giddy and silly-happy from all of those things.

But now, I appreciate those things with a fire I can’t quite explain. When the person I have feelings for sent me roses on my birthday this past fall, I couldn’t stop smiling. I also must have thanked him 17 times, minimum. It just never feels like enough times to say thank you or show my appreciation, because I can’t ever thank my husband again for all he did for me, and that breaks my heart.

I believe, truly, that one of the ways in which the people we love who have died, stay with us, is when we take on some of their best character traits. My husband was kind, big-hearted, and appreciative and aware of doing the small things that were actually big things. I have now become this way, and I am truly thankful whenever someone does something nice for me, especially when it is unexpected. He gave that gift to me, and that piece of him has stayed inside me, literally. My husband was not “romantic” in the way that most people would define that word. He was not the type of guy that would pick up flowers for no reason, or make me dinner. (Again, he was the worst cook in the universe, and he would often joke that if anything ever happened to him on the job and he didn’t come home, he promised he would send me my own personal chef.) But looking back now, the things that my husband did on a daily basis, were absolutely beyond incredible. Everyday that I’m alive, I wish I could thank him for doing these things. I wish I could tell him how much I appreciated all of it. I am honestly not sure if I told him that enough. It feels like I didn’t, and I hate that. All I can do now, is see what’s in front of me going forward, and recognize the kinds of things someone does for you, when you are their priority. When your happiness, is their priority.

This Valentine’s Day, I would love it so much if I were to get some flowers, and I would once again appreciate them on a whole new level. I would love some chocolate-covered strawberries or a thoughtful little card, letting me know I am being thought of by someone important to me. But even more than that, I will be looking for those little things that are actually the big things – and I will feel lucky to know love like that, and to have had love like that. I miss my husband every single day of my life, and this time of year it feels more raw, because we were jut starting our life together, and now that is a life that cannot be. I cannot ever tell him that I saw and I felt all the little, big things he did for me. But I can tell you. On this upcoming Valentine’s Day, I would like to list just a few of those unromantic, romantic things, that my beautiful husband did for me, every single day.

Maybe if I tell you all, he will somehow know, that he has forever changed my definition of romance, love, and Valentine’s Day, and that I am grateful for it. Thank you.

1. Always handed me the keys to his car with a full tank of gas, and the oil checked, so that Id be safe.
2. Often left himself with NO money in his wallet before work, so that he could give his last $10 to me.
3. Reminded me that I was beautiful, often, and meant it.
4. Helped me to the bathroom, and waited on me hand and foot for a whole week, when I threw out my back.
5. Held my hair and washed my face off with a washcloth when I was puking my guts out from a bad reaction to Percacet.
6. The way he looked at me when I was performing or speaking onstage, like he was in awe of me.
7. He asked for my dad’s permission to marry me.
8. The way he would do things he didn’t want to do (like taking 8 weeks of ballroom dancing lessons so we could do a Foxtrot at our wedding reception), just to make me happy.
9. The way he made me feel safe from everything scary in the world.
10. Holding my hand and explaining things in a calm voice to me, when I would freak out on airplanes.
11. I trusted him with my life. He would have taken a bullet for me, or given his life for me. No doubt.
12. Held my hand until I was asleep, and then longer.
13. He moved his life from Florida to New Jersey, one week before Valentine’s Day, because that’s what it was going to take to be with me.

I love you, sweet husband. Thank you for changing the way I see everything.

17 Ways to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day if You’re Tired of Flowers and Candy

January 25, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Tired of the same old flowers and candy? Here are 17 ways to make your V-Day memorable.

Many have a love-hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. Sometimes, the same old roses and chocolates routine year after year can get boring.

Personally, I love doing something different every Valentine’s Day, even if it’s just a simple movie and making dinner at home. My favorite romantic meal to make is steak, veggies and popovers, but the options are limitless.

For couples who want to spice up their Valentine’s Day, here are 17 ways to make it a great one.

1. Book a boudoir photography session.

This will take a bit of planning before the big day. Find a local photographer and book a sexy boudoir session with them. Sometimes there are even Groupons.

Boudoirs are reminiscent of pin-up girls and are often intimate and romantic. Be sure to pose in your significant other’s favorite lingerie of yours for an erotic touch. Gift the photos to your partner on Valentine’s Day to get them in the mood. Then get ready for a night of bedroom fun.

2. Start the day off with some shower sex.

Even if you don’t have any plans, given that Valentine’s Day is on a Wednesday, start your work day off right and surprise your loved one with some good old-fashioned shower sex. Chances are, it will leave them wanting more post-work fun.

3. Consider adding some edible accessories to the mix.

If you’ve always wanted to try adding some flavor to sex, consider the ever ubiquitous whipped cream or some flavored lube. Some flavors are actually really tasty! You could even buy a few different flavors an do a taste test.

4. Volunteer together.

Valentine’s Day is all about love, right? Show some love to others and change up your Valentine’s routine with a volunteer session. VolunteerMatch.org pairs you with the best option for you.

5. 50 Shades it.

Get seriously sexy and take a page from the popular 50 Shades of Grey books and movies. There’s nothing like a little BDSM to spice up the most romantic day of the year. You don’t have to be a billionaire to tie your partner up and most floggers are available for under $50.

6. Get home from work before your partner and transform your place.

Leave work early on Valentine’s Day and transform your home into a romantic wonderland. Light candles, turn on a playlist of your favorite love-making music and lock the door so you have to answer it wearing just a little babydoll chemise.

7. Go hands free.

Post dinner when things get sexy, instead of touching each other with your hands, use every other part of your body—breasts, thighs, hair, tongue—the possibilities are endless.

You have incredibly soft parts of your body you don’t even think about. You might be surprised how great it feels to have a soft nose tracing up your neck or little sucking kisses on different places like the back of your knees or inside of your elbow.

8. Play middle school games.

It might sound silly, but there’s something fun and cute about remembering when you were first learning about falling in love or dating.

Make some cocktails then play a game of Truth or Dare (the sexier dares the better!). Later, you can even make some room in your closet for a little Seven Minutes in Heaven.

9. Send some naughty flowers.

Send a bouquet to your partner’s work. This seems innocent enough right? Make the note extra dirty with a fun message about what you plan to do to them when work’s over. Last year my boyfriend went the sweet route and surprised me with a bouquet of roses. He was traveling over Valentine’s Day and I didn’t expect anything at all!

10. Breakfast in bed.

A simple and sweet gesture like breakfast in bed can be an incredibly romantic way to start your Valentine’s Day. My boyfriend and I started this tradition and every Sunday we have breakfast in bed.

11. Take a couple’s massage class—then try out what you learned on each other.

Research and find a reputable local couple’s massage class. When you’re home and cozy, practice on each other.

The best part about this is that it’s the gift that keeps on giving. It’s great to get a sexy massage on your anniversary or Valentine’s Day, but when my love gives me a relaxing massage it always leads to something else.

12. Get naughty at dinnertime.

If you’re heading out to dinner, get a little naughty under the table in between courses. Use your hands or your feet to make him feel a little extra excited for what comes after dessert.

13. Make dessert—and eat it off each other.

Some of my favorites are whipped cream, sprinkles, a scoop of ice cream, chocolate dipped fruit—the possibilities are endless.

14. Have sex before dinner.

There’s nothing more surprising than initiating a steamy love-making session before you leave for dinner. It’s enough to make you burn with passion over your appetizers and melt your dessert with lust.

15. Role play.

Even Modern Family’s Phil and Claire like to get a little role play going on Valentine’s Day. If you’re clueless on how to even start role playing, start simple—think of everyday scenarios between two people.

You could be teacher and student, doctor and patient, or repairman and homeowner.

16. Use a toy in front of your partner.

There’s just something I find utterly arousing about turning myself on while a significant other watches. Right before you finish, have a little romp together.

17. Take a staycation.

Book a hotel room or Airbnb together and enjoy fresh surroundings. Sometimes that’s all you need to rekindle the romance.

There are so many beautiful places that are different or creative. Boutique hotels or a bed and breakfast are all great options. One thing I love to do is find an Airbnb with a hot tub.

Enjoy fun and easy ways to spice up your Valentine’s Day.

Sometimes, this time of year can be downright depressing. Days are shorter and winter can be long and cold. Make your Valentine’s Day memorable this year with these suggestions. Hopefully it will be all you need to kick start your romance during the coldest time of the year.

Single this Valentine’s Day? Check out this guide to owning Valentine’s Day this year.

How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day

February 1, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, Mind, Wellness

Trying to give back this year? Here are some great ways to show your community some love on Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is all about love, relationships, and romance. It can be so much fun, but it can get a little cliché too. Okay, okay, it can get a lot cliché.

If you’re in a long term relationship, you might not feel like doing the traditional chocolate-and-flowers-thing every single year, and if you’re living the single life, Valentine’s might feel like one giant eye roll.

This year, why not consider celebrating Valentine’s in a different way?

While so many of us get into the giving spirit during December, most people forget to give back during the rest of the year. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to help your the community and show love to those who need it the most.

Whether you’re celebrating being single, or you’re looking for an original date idea for you and your beau, these ways to give back on Valentine’s will surely warm your heart, and make someone’s else’s holiday much brighter too.

1. Your date isn’t the only one who likes flowers. Help brighten a room at a nursing home.

In college, I helped plan a Valentine’s Day event with lots of balloons, flowers, and so much pizza. Of course, at the end of the night we were left with a giant mess, but we were told to save the centerpieces.

Someone on the party planning committee had the idea to pack up all the flowers and send them to the local retirement community. It sounded like a good idea until I found out that it was my job to put the vases filled in boxes and wake up early the next day to drive them over.

When I got there, I expected to unload the boxes and be on my way, but one of the women at the front desk stopped me. She said they didn’t have anywhere to put them in the lobby, and I’d have to drop off the flowers to the individual rooms.

Honestly, I didn’t want to pass them out, I didn’t know anyone in the hospital and I wasn’t in the mood to socialize, but the moment I shuffled into the first bedroom, I knew how important it was to do just that.

I met a lot of seniors who weren’t doing well, who were sick and lonely, and I loved dropping off some flowers to brighten their day. Plus, most residents really appreciated getting to talk to someone new, and knowing that I had made their morning a little better really made my Valentine’s Day.

This year, consider bringing a stranger flowers. You don’t have to throw a party to find some florals, but you also don’t have to break the bank getting bouquets. You can get involved with a charity like Random Acts of Flowers, and pass out flowers as a team. Or, if you want to fly solo, any stores have Valentine’s Day arrangements on sale on the 15th, and picking some up and bringing them to your local retirement home or hospital will make any resident feel special.

2. Everyone Deserves a Valentine’s Day Card

While passing out florals might sound nice, maybe flowers just aren’t your thing. Instead, you might consider making a few cards.

I adore Valentine’s cards: they were so much fun to collect in elementary school and now I love getting sweet cards from my fiancé every year. But these Valentine’s cards don’t have to stop with people you know. The My Golden Valentine project has been making a difference by writing cards for people who may not have many people around for the holiday.

This year, they’re hoping to deliver 10,000 cards to assisted living and nursing homes in North Dakota and Nebraska. That’s a lot of love!

But even even if you’re not in the North Dakota/Nebraska area, don’t think you can’t get involved. You can write your own cards and deliver them to your local nursing home. Plus, you can make an event out of it by inviting friends to write cards and watch Valentine’s-themed movies. Or, if you have kids or young nieces and nephews, this could make for a great kid-friendly Valentine’s activity.

3. Bring Valentine’s Day to your local children’s hospital

On Valentine’s Day, kids should be in school making hearts out of construction paper for their parents, but many kids are missing out.

This Valentine’s, you can make a difference by volunteering at your local children’s hospital or joining a toy drive. I used to volunteer in a children’s hospital, talking to long-term patients and keeping them company. It was so rewarding, but there are so many other ways to get involved too.

One barber shop has worked hard for more than a decade to collect stuffed monkeys to give to children in hospitals and children who have been neglected.

Something as simple as a stuffed monkey can brighten a child’s day and make them feel special on Valentine’s.

So, whether you’re donating toys or if you plan to get more involved with a hospital, like with the CHOC Children’s Hospital volunteer program, your effort could mean a lot to a child in need of some Valentine’s spirit.

4. Show your love to some furry friends.

One of my favorite places to volunteer is at animal shelters. Come on, what better way to spend your time than with cute, lovable animals?

And the animals, and the shelters, really appreciate your effort.

There are so many animals that don’t have homes and they need a lot of love, so shelters often depend on volunteers to help show love to those pups and kitty-cats.

Celebrate V-Day by taking a shelter dog for a walk or playing with some animals at your local rescue. These furry friends will appreciate your attention, and who knows, maybe you’ll fall in love and bring one home as a Valentine’s Day gift to yourself.

5. Donate Blood

This gives a whole other meaning to “heart day.” While romance might get your blood pumping, donating blood can help you show love to the people who need it.

Of course, at first I was squeamish about giving blood, but I’ve found that it is totally worth it to know that you are making a difference. Plus, it’s the perfect way to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

It doesn’t take long to donate, it costs nothing to do, and you get a cookie out of the deal. And hey, you deserve some extra sweets on Valentine’s Day! Check out blood drives near you, The Red Cross is always out and about, and could be hosting a blood drive near you!

6. Give a gift that really means something

For me, the hardest part of Valentine’s Day isn’t finding something to do, it’s finding the right gift. I always get something for my fiancé, but I also like to get something for my mom, and who could forget my BFF (gotta celebrate Galentine’s Day!)

I would usually end up buying a few trinkets and maybe a picture frame or two, but I know that a lot of these presents were ending up just being clutter.

This year, make a pact with your sweetie or your best pals to get each other a donation to each other’s favorite charities. It will mean a lot to the charity, and you’ll feel good doing it.

Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to get involved in your community and show your love to those who will need it the most. With these six ideas, your Valentine’s Day will be as memorable, and meaningful as ever.

Show Us What #LoveIs To Win A Love TV Membership!

February 2, 2018January 22, 2024 by Sarah Burrisin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

We want to know what #LoveIs!

We’re so excited to announce that we’ve partnered with PicsArt for a Valentine’s Day photo editing challenge! You can now use the colorful and sparkling LOVE TV stickers to start spreading the love through the #LOVETVchallenge.

You start by taking a photo that shows us what love means to you. Declare your love for your sweetheart and show us what that looks like in a photograph.

But it doesn’t have to just be your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner or undeclared aspirational love. Do you love your pets? Love your mom or your sister? Tell us about loving your best friend. Show us what you do every day to express your love to those around you or to your community. Do you love the weather, the sunshine, or the beach? Do you love your favorite coffee shop, bar, or park bench?

Show us everything that you love and tell us why you love it and you just might win a free LOVE TV membership.

Submit your love images to the challenge in PicsArt and the top 10 edits (as chosen by LOVE TV) will be featured on their site and social channels. Share your submissions using #LOVETVchallenge #LoveIs and #PicsArt.

Visit our #LoveIs challenge page on Picsart to learn more and show us your love!

Also, be sure to check out the details and fine print below.

Details

Enter your love edits from 2/2-2/9.
Use your own photos or #FreeToEdit images on PicsArt to create an edit that fits the LOVE TV challenge theme.
Submissions are limited to three entries per user.
Voting for the challenge will take place 2/10-2/12.
Winners will be announced on Valentine’s Day, 2/14.

Fine Print

The Challenge closes at X PT on February 9th.
Winners must be 18+ to claim prize.
Winners will receive the following — 1st place- 1 Year Membership to LTV; 2nd place 6 Month Membership to LTV; 3rd place- 3 Month Membership to LTV; 7th-10th place -1 Month Memberships to LTV.
Winners acknowledge that in claiming their prize, they will be sharing their personal information with PicsArt and LOVE TV.
Winners will be contacted via email or direct message and will have 10 days to claim their prize.

The Best Unconventional Date Movies For Your Valentine’s Day

February 2, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes The Notebook just doesn’t cut it.

Movies have always been a staple in date ideas. Sitting in the back row, watching a movie with your partner (but not really watching the movie, if you catch my drift) is an appealing concept. So intimate, getting to share the experience of the movie world together, while also getting to take part in something that the rest of the world is watching as well. It can lead to stimulating conversation, and can allow you to learn more about your partner through their taste.

However, being the lover of all movies I am, I tend to see movies with partners that stray from the typical romantic fluff or current blockbuster. I like to really test my partner through the movies I show them. Here’s a few of my most memorable date movie experiences.

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

This film is my personal litmus test of whether or not I can truly date someone. Little Shop has something for everyone- a romantic subplot, musical numbers, horror elements, 1980’s comedy stars- you name it. It’s a campy movie that will literally make you laugh and cry within minutes. Not to mention it was my childhood favorite, so liking this movie really does mean a lot to me on a personal level.

The Room (2003)

Every person I’ve ever dated has loved The Room. This unintentionally funny cult movie directed by and starring the legendary Tommy Wiseau takes the stereotypical romance movie to new heights.

The dialogue is filled with cringey gems that you’ll be quoting for the rest of your life, and will be a wholesome and fun bonding experience with your partner. Even better, pair it with The Disaster Artist (the new film about the making of the room starring James Franco), and make it a double feature.

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982)

This is truly my partner and I’s movie. There was one day, before we dated, where I was taking a nap in his living room while he was in his bedroom watching this film. I woke up to the creepy stylings of the movie’s theme (“Happy happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween…”), and without even seeing it, I was immediately hooked. We watched it when we started dating, and I fell in love with this underrated classic (even if Michael Myers isn’t in it).

The To-Do List (2013)

My first official date with my first real boyfriend consisted of sitting in his grandma’s living room and watching this movie on demand.

This awkward comedy about a teenage girl (Aubrey Plaza) trying to lose her virginity before college was a surprisingly great way to break the ice between us, also being young and sexually inexperienced. Afterwards we watched Juno. That, on the other hand, is not a movie I would recommend on a first date.

Carrie (1976 and 2013)

It seems like this movie follows me with every relationship I’ve been in.

I met my first boyfriend as a teenager (who I dated for five days, or a “business week” as we called it) at a performance of Carrie: the Musical, which yes, is a real thing. After that I met the following boyfriend at the midnight premiere of the Carrie remake. And of course, strangely enough, a week after my current partner and I started dating, the original Brian DePalma classic ended up being on TV.

I don’t know what it is about this movie, but I’m not complaining. It’s a great movie.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1976)

Another instance of “if you don’t like this one, we can’t date.”

This one is kind of cheating, since my current partner and I are both part of a Rocky Horror shadowcast. We met as co-stars, and bonded over our love of the movie. He had been a fan since practically kindergarten, and had been part of the cast for 15 years. I was new to shadowcasting, but I had been going to screenings since I was 12. It brought us together, and is definitely the most important movie in my life.

Sometimes the most romantic movies are the most unexpected ones. Every couple has those films, the ones that really bring them together. Whether it’s through humor, fear, or sadness, a film can bring out emotion between you and your partner in a way that you might not get from other shared experiences. For your next date night, consider showing your partner your favorite movie. Maybe you’ll learn something new about them.

Honestly, I think I’d have a hard time dating someone who didn’t share the same weird taste as me. It’s surprisingly a big part of any relationship. Having something like that in common can be hugely beneficial. Movies can say a lot about your personality and interests. And who knows, perhaps after watching, they’ll fall for you even more.

Valentine’s Day Is Great, But Here Are My Favorite Ways to Show Love All Year Round

February 5, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

On a mission to set my marriage up for success, I’ve made a plan to bring Valentine’s Day to every month.

I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day.

As a kid, I always looked forward to collecting paper Valentine’s Day (especially the ones that came with candy or temporary tattoos). As I got older, I loved going out for special dates and getting spoiled with gifts or flowers. Plus, no matter what my age or relationship status, I’ve always looked forward to the day after Valentine’s Day when I can score all the half-priced candy.

All around, it’s a good holiday in my book.

And yet, I’m always left wanting more. Not to say that the holiday is disappointing, but I wish that Valentine’s Day didn’t end so quickly. I want to celebrate my relationship, and have an excuse to do something special, all year long.

This year is my fiancé and my last Valentine’s Day as a unmarried couple, and as our wedding gets closer, we want to do everything we can to set our marriage up for success. So, we’ve been focusing on bringing the spirit of Valentine’s Day to every part of the year and practicing showing each other love whenever we can.

Boy, has it made a difference! It’s amazing what a small gesture can do, and how easy it is to make your partner’s day. It brings you closer together, makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside, and reminds you both of how much you love each other.

Here are some ways that you too can bring Valentine’s Day to every month:

1. If your partner likes flowers and chocolates… buy them more often

Last year, I made a point to make pies during the Summer. Why? I love pie, and I realized I hadn’t had a slice for months. I only thought to buy or make pies during November and December, because I thought of them as a “holiday only” dessert.

I had ten whole other months to enjoy pie that I wasn’t taking advantage of. And that’s just silly.

It’s the same thing with Valentine’s Day.

Every year when February hits, stores stock up on their flowers and chocolates. It’s always fun to see the heart-shaped candies and beautiful roses in vases, but we shouldn’t be waiting for February to get our partners some chocolates or buy them flowers.

If your significant other likes those chocolate turtles (don’t we all?), surprise him or her with a box of them any time of the year. If your honey loves fresh flowers, you’ve got a whole 12 months to buy them. Plus, different flowers will be in season at different times, so you can bring home a different bouquet every time.

I love dark chocolate, and it means so much when my fiancé brings some home just because. It’s a nice way to say he was thinking of me and getting a special treat always makes me happy.

Okay, okay, I’ll admit: some things are strictly seasonal. You’ll have to wait for that pumpkin spice latte and it’s hard to find peppermint bark in June. Just don’t miss out on an opportunity to surprise your sweetie with a special treat he or she loves.

2. Valentine’s cards aren’t just for February, share your thoughts whenever you can

I love Valentine’s Day cards. They’re cute, romantic, and sometimes a little dirty.

Giving your partner a card on Valentine’s Day is nice, but it might mean even more when you give them one out of the blue. Surprising your love by writing some nice things in a card and slipping it into their bag before work, or packing it with their clothes before a business trip, can go a long way.

It’s sweet, flirty, and could really brighten up their day. Play with the idea of getting a few romantic cards during the Valentine’s season, and using them all year. You can write a funny poem, list some things you love about your relationship, or write something sexy. It’s sure to make your partner feel special and appreciated.

Not into the card idea? Maybe stick to text. I’ll never forget the time my fiancé sent me some photos he’d taken of flowers in a garden, saying he was thinking of me. It was such a simple thing, and only took a minute to do, but it really brightened my day and reminded me of how much he cares about me.

3. Plan romantic date nights all year round

My fiancé and I are so busy with work, grad school, and life in general, that our date night dinners usually turn into scarfing down Chipotle in front of the TV before going to bed.

Oh, the romance.

You don’t have to wait until February (or you anniversary) to have a special meal together. Make a plan to have those romantic date nights on non-holiday times.

When my fiancé and I want to have a romantic meal, we love going to this cute little Greek restaurant down the street. But don’t assume that you have to go out to have a good time. You can stay home, dim the lights, pour some wine, and even light some candles.

If you and your honey work late or have kids, downsize the same idea to a late-night dessert. Even with less time, you’ll get the same benefit. You’ll spend some uninterrupted alone time together and get a chance to turn up the romance.

4. Breakfast in bed isn’t just for special occasions

Speaking of meals, I love breakfast in bed. It’s one of those Valentine’s Day traditions that should really be an “everyday thing.” Yet, somehow, most of us have to go to the kitchen for breakfast every single day. Exhausting.

Make one day a week (or maybe one morning a month) a “breakfast in bed day.” It doesn’t have to be a big deal: toast a couple slices of bread, scramble some eggs, pour that coffee, and share it with your honey in your room. It could make a lazy Saturday the best day of the week.

Or, if you’re not sure you can get out of bed in the morning without waking your light-sleeping cutie, plan a stay-at-home breakfast date. I love to put on my cute pajamas, slip on those bunny slippers, and make breakfast with my fiancé.

You can flip pancakes while your honey squeezes orange juice, then sit down to watch some saturday morning cartoons. It’s a nice way to relax together, and this special date is the perfect way to show you care without breaking the bank.

5. Give “just because” presents

There’s always pressure to give gifts at holidays or anniversaries, but I find that the more I expect to get gifts, the less I really enjoy them. I already know I’m getting a present, so when it’s not exactly what I want, I might feel a little disappointed, rather than thankful, like I should.

And yet, whenever my fiancé brings home a DVD of a movie I wanted to see but missed in theaters, or orders me a funny cat t-shirt off Amazon, I’m always amazed and incredibly grateful. I wasn’t expecting anything, so even the smallest, silliest thing will seem so sweet.

Surprise your cutie with a little something every now and then, it doesn’t have to be much: maybe just grab a trinket the next time you’re in Target or buy a magazine you think your partner will like when you’re at the grocery store. A little can go a long way, and it tells your special someone that you were thinking of them, which makes it even better.

6. Walk down memory lane

Sometimes we forget to appreciate each other, and all the things we’ve done together. Bringing up a fun date night or looking at some old pictures can really spark those romance vibes and remind you of fun memories.

I like to surprise my fiancé with a framed picture from a special day or even just share a post on Facebook from this time last year. Looking back on memories you’ve shared can make you both feel especially appreciative of your relationship.

7. Plan an event

You don’t need to wait for a special day to plan an event. It’s popular to buy tickets for a show or concert to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but there are fun events going on all year.

Planning an activity is a nice gesture that tells your partner that you want to do cool things with them, and it’s a great way to bond over memorable experiences.

My fiancé and I love seeing comedy shows, so we’re always on the lookout for when our favorite comedians are coming to town. It’s so much fun to go out and do something extra special once in a while, and we get to share something we both love.

Of course, not everyone’s bank accounts will allow for an event every weekend, but getting tickets to a midnight movie or concert a few months in advance will give you something to look forward to together, and that’s half the fun.

8. Remember to listen

While little surprises and kind gestures will go a long way, communication may be the most important thing in your relationship.

I always try my best to show an interest in what my fiancé says, because I know how important it is to feel listened to.

There’s nothing more romantic, and nothing that will show how much you care, more than listening to your partner. Focus on their stories, ask questions about their day, and take care to remember what they talk about so you can ask about it later. Showing how interested you are in their successes, and their challenges, will mean so much to your beau, and will help your love thrive.

Because I always have so much fun on Valentine’s Day, I use these practices to bring the Valentine’s Day spirit to my relationship, and soon, my marriage, all year long. Hopefully some of my tips will help you and your partner to show your love all year round too.

Need some more ideas for Valentine’s Day? Check out 17 Ways to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day if You’re Tired of Flowers and Candy, How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day, or Perfect Bedroom Tips for Valentine’s.

How to be a Great Vegan Lover

February 6, 2018January 22, 2024 by Maya Gottfriedin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Vegans are passionate people, which is a great quality between the sheets!

Committing to a vegan lifestyle, eschewing animal products in our lifestyles, applies to every aspect of our multifaceted lives, even the time we spend with our lovers between the sheets.

When I went vegan I was warned by some of those close to me that my love-interests might be put off by my cruelty-free lifestyle, but I stood proud in my vegan shoes.

Being vegan means I’m compassionate and considerate of others’ feelings, I have ambitions to make the world a better place, and I’ve been told that my skin has that mysterious vegan glow. To me, that all seems sexy. Would I want to be with someone who was turned off by those qualities? Of course not.

I’ve also heard from more than one lover of a vegan that we taste better than meat-eaters. Very sexy.

Valentine’s Day offers a wonderful opportunity to spread vegan love

We vegans are great lovers because of the passion and compassion we bring to the bedroom. There are also some tools we can take into our dating lives and to bed to supercharge the vegan love.

Being a fantastic vegan lover can mean sharing the delights of vegan food, and most dates appreciate the effort of a meal prepared by their love-interest.

For Valentine’s Day, why not seduce your love with a delectable vegan lasagna followed by sweet cruelty-free cookies and coconut milk ice cream for dessert? You can serve it all picnic-style on your living room floor, lounging on pillows and lit by soy candles.

For vegans, there are lots of fun ways to get sexy

When it comes time to slip on protection, it helps keep things hot to be fully prepared. When we avoid animal products, that means doing a little more research into our protection that looking at the brands on display at the drugstore.

Some condoms contain casein, a milk derivative, and others are made from lamb intestines. Not vegan.

With a little research ahead of time, sexy vegans will know to pack a brand like Sir Richard’s condoms when going on dates, which are vegan certified. Being prepared will keep you safe, keep you in the mood, and keep you vegan. Other brands offering vegan condoms include Glyde, L., and Durex (their non-latex options are vegan).

You can heat up Valentine’s Day with sexy cruelty-free lingerie

Though many of us like to cut to the chase, some of us prefer to slow things down, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to invest in some fun lingerie to enjoy as part of a romantic evening with a lover.

However, being vegan means avoiding animal products in our clothing, including silk, which is the result of insects losing their lives. In fact, every pound of silk comes at the cost of the lives of thousands of silkworms. So not sexy.

There might be an historic association between silk and sexy lingerie, but there are plenty of gorgeous cruelty-free options available for those who want to avoid the suffering caused by the fabric. We can be great vegan lovers by decorating ourselves in tantalizing pieces that are made without harm to animals.

My all-time favorite lingerie designer is Agent Provocateur and lucky for us vegans they offer plenty of beautiful silk-free pieces including garter belts and corsets, bodysuits and bras (like the gorgeous Daliah bra made out of 100% polyamide). Just remember to check the fabric content to be sure your piece of choice is cruelty-free.

The Brand Luva Huva also offers beautiful lingerie in fabrics other than silk. Their beautiful Cosette Bamboo Slip is slinky and sexy and completely cruelty-free.

Vegan lubricants may take sex to the next level

For many, lubricants take sex to the next level, with a magic touch. For others, they are necessary due to pain caused by medical conditions. Whatever the case, they are a wonderful addition to an intimate evening with your lover.

To be great vegan lovers, we can tote one of the assortment of cruelty-free lubricants available. The brand Sliquid boasts 60 vegan products for between the sheets, including Sizzle lubricant which cools on contact and warms with friction. A great way for vegans to heat things up in bed.

Also available from Sliquid are vegan flavored lubricants in cherry vanilla, strawberry pomegranate, and other tasty options. For the adventurous, these are a great way to invite creativity into the bedroom and have fun more fun with your lover while keeping things 100% vegan and cruelty-free.

Some myths might have you believe that vegans aren’t as sexually engaged as omnivores, but with a great deal of passion, delicious lingerie, and some fun tools in bed, those who avoid cruelty to animals make fantastic vegan lovers.

Check out Vegan: An Expert Guide to Plant-Based Dating by the same author.

What Does The Future Hold for Valentine’s Day?

February 7, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

It’s February, and I know the drill: candy aisles filled with heart-shaped boxes, jewelry ads bombarding my web feeds with Valentine’s Day.

For what initially started as a brutal Roman holiday, Valentine’s Day has become a capitalist wet dream. According to Hallmark, over 151 million cards are sold annually. Which is funny to me, since I’ve bought Valentines (think the pack of 32 that come with stickers and candy sometimes) but never an actual card.

I’ve always been single for V-Day. I’m in good company; as of 2014, Gallup says that 60% of people ages 18-29 have never been married. Another survey says that 58% of millenials view V-Day as overrated.

With student loan debt through the roof, and plenty of millenials living paycheck to paycheck, lots of us don’t have the means to splurge on gifts. So, how will a holiday that thrives on compulsory gift giving and flower buying bode for a decidedly anti-capitalist generation? Well, I have some ideas. Picture this: it’s 2118 and Valentine’s Day means…

Including lovers of all varieties (not just romantic ones)

The Spice Girls said it best: “If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.” Except in this case, lovers can take a backseat.

Over the past few years, self-care has become a buzzword, a movement, and a market all at once. So yes, self-love, but this also means not placing as much importance in romantic relationships, and whether or not you’re a part of one.

With phenomena like “Galentine’s Day” taking off, millenials are over this couples-only world. More adult are single folks. More women are growing comfortable in living perfectly stable, fulfilled lives without a romantic partner. I’ve always liked the idea of a Valentine’s Day that uplifts all the people we love, not just the ones we’re romantically intimate with.

In 2118, Marketers realize that unabashed singles are an untapped market. If you try to sell me something on a couple’s pretense, I’m not interested. But in the name of self-care? Take my money, why don’t you!

Advertisers Switch Up Their Tactics

Not too many people genuinely enjoy ads, but I prefer to avoid them altogether. I hit the “skip ad” button on YouTube so quickly. If that’s not an option, I mute them. The case is even more extreme for younger millennials; Generation Z is the most difficult audience to market to yet.

Not only are younger generations less tolerant of commercials, but also the most sexually varied generation. This is a problem when V-Day largely caters to straight couples.

We are the most queer generation ever. We also have an awareness of different intersections of identity (racial, ethnic, sexual) that’s unprecedented. It’s simply not realistic for all marketing toward us to be a white man and a white woman kissing. Evolve or die, as they say, and I imagine V-Day evolving.

Since Millennials value authenticity above else, I picture more folks getting their Valentine’s paraphernalia from places like Depop and Etsy, rather than big box stores. Or, V-Day cards in the Hallmark aisle with a bunch of different categories (women loving men, women loving women, men loving men, nonbinary, asexual). Instead of e-cards, think meme cards.

Overall, I imagine a more underground V-Day celebration. Which brings me to…

Renegade Holidays Will Pop Up

We’ve seen this happening with the reclaiming of Columbus Day as Indigenous People’s day. For we non-Christmas celebrating folk, there’s Festivus. As a generation that’s already combating gender and sexuality norms, and all other norms, it would make sense for many millennials to flat out reject V-Day with our own alternative holiday.

We already have that in Galentine’s Day. Some places are ahead of the curve: in Finland, February 14 is National Friendship Day.

In 2118, I forecast celebrations like “Asexual Awareness Day”, “International Vibrator Day” or “International Singles Day,” many of which, incidentally, already exist, taking over. Because commercialism is boring and the internet is a wildly imaginative place.

I’m no psychic, so I may be off target. What I do know is that the existing Valentine’s Day model (dates, heart-shaped chocolates, nice jewelry) isn’t very old at all. Millennials aren’t your mother’s generation. And getting a stale box of Russell Stover’s chocolates is something I can do for myself, thank you.

V-Day 2118 may still have the big box store vestiges of white, pink and red. But before long, the holiday will largely be in the hands of the independent retailers. No matter what V-day looks like in future, some things won’t change. There will always be folks who, like me, celebrate the holiday on their own accord by eating heart-shaped pizza and watching raunchy comedies.

Things to Do on Valentine’s Day If You’re Staying Inside Alone

February 7, 2018January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Single on Valentine’s Day? It can be a challenging day for many people, but it absolutely doesn’t have to be!

Watching others with their stuffed animals, balloons, chocolates, and lovers can be soul crushing. Don’t let yourself go there, because, more than anything, you are worth loving.

So, here are some things you can do for yourself all day and away from the traditional hearts and flowers. After all, it’s actually not a bad idea! There are alternative things to do to show yourself how you’re loved.

1. Declutter

Have you been meaning clear up you’re living space? Do you have five of the same shoes in different colors? Do you need them all? Do you want them all? What about that shirt you had since 7^th grade? Sure, it fits, but you’re 30 now so maybe you don’t need it. Besides, it’ll give you an excuse to go buy yourself something new!

What better day to get rid of things you don’t need than on Valentine’s Day. To declutter is a great way to start fresh. You will feel immensely productive; it will probably take you the whole day, and if you’re feeling a bit of the blues you might even find it easier to throw things away.

Time to forget sentimental ties to things that don’t matter and move forward

2. Cook

If you’re like me you only eat processed foods that don’t require anything other than microwave.

On this Valentine’s Day try cooking a meal that takes several hours. It’s not Thanksgiving, but why not put a Turkey in the oven? Or prepare meals for everyday of the week. That way you won’t have to eat out, buy more food, or even go outside at all for 7 days!

Even better if you wanted to try veganism, but never had the time, prep a week of vegan meals for you for breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. No better time to really put your energy into making food you don’t normally eat.

3. Work out

Going to the gym can be a challenge. It takes drive. But, YouTube exists, so how about spending Valentine’s Day showing your body how much you love it by getting fit.

You can start the day with an hour of yoga. Then you continue with zumba. Then learn a few new dance routines. Beyonce’s “Formation?” Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi?” Michael Jackson’s “Thriller?” How about all of the above?

Of course, consider showering and eating in between.

3. Write

Are you a writer who likes to avoid writing? Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to draft your half hour/hour pilot you’ve been dreaming up. Or your 2-hour length feature script. Maybe you’ve never ever written and you want to try writing. Reddit has a few ideas with an entire subreddit dedicated to writing prompts.

If you’re a booklover, go start your novel! Valentine’s Day is a great day to begin a new career path.

4. Sleep

If you are someone who doesn’t get enough sleep let Valentine’s Day be the day you actually relax. Stay in bed. Close your eyes. Meditate. Avoid social media. Avoid all screens. Avoid all human contact. Just spend the day drifting in and out of your dreams. You deserve some rest.

I stayed in bed for most of today and I would like to have done it longer, but I had to write this! Catch up on all your sleep. You’ll be ready to take on the day that follows!

5. Watch every single movie nominated for an Oscar that is out on DVD, streaming or blueray.

Are you one of those people who hates the Oscars because they don’t nominate movies that you’ve seen? Well, try watching those nominated movies!

Or, if you’re the type of person that always tries to watch all of them, but haven’t had the time, Valentine’s Day is 24 hours long. You’ll probably be up for 12 of those hours which are enough to at least watch up to 6 movies. Try watching a foreign film nominee while you’re at it.

6. Declare your love

This is the most radical idea on this list.

On Valentine’s Day, I am asking you, a single person, to tell the person you like that you like them. Not just so you’re not single, but so you can start a new path and a new adventure.

Maybe you’re single because you don’t tell people how you feel. Or you close yourself off. If there is someone you have had your eye on and they’re single too, go tell them!

You might get utterly rejected but you did it and lived your true authentic self! Then you can move on to decluttering, working out, cooking, and sleeping.

But, maybe the person you have feelings for is scared to tell you how they feel about you too. If you feel the same way about one another then you don’t have to spend Valentine’s Day alone and the holiday can end up being the start of something new.

Let us strive for more great days!

Want other ideas for Valentine’s Day singles? Check out How to Annoy People in Love on Valentine’s Day: Top 10 List and get ready for one heck of a hilarious adventure!

5 Ways to Discreetly Declare Your Love to Someone by Next Week

February 9, 2018January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes, it can be challenging to confess your love to someone or tell them that you like them.

For me, it is always hard to tell people that you like them, so you fear you will die alone because you want people to be able to read your nonverbal cues, but what if you your nonverbal cues were actions?

Maybe you won’t hold a boombox over your head outside of their window, and maybe you don’t have your own Cyrano de Bergerac (but you’re also a Cyrano de Bergerac who doesn’t have a Christian) so the one you love won’t accidentally fall in love with you.

So, how can you discreetly tell the one you love that you love them without being too obvious? Here are some options:

Try getting a movie pass.

Tell them you haven’t used movie pass since it went down to $10/month even though you’ve had it since it came down to $10. Say to them the only way you’re going to watch a movie is if someone holds you accountable.

This will work if they are a fan of movies and are also behind on watching movies. Say, you need to watch all the Oscar Nominated movies that are still in theaters. Hard to do if you’re in small town, but you could always check out the DVDS via Netflix.

Since, you’re allowed to watch one movie a day using Netflix you can spend 28-31 days with this person and actually get to know them. And if they’re not interested in Oscar movies, you can always just rewatch Black Panther in 2D.

Pay attention to their interests.

If they say they like a book, a movie, a TV show, a band I recommend you read, watch, and listen to what they’re interested in. If you like someone it can give the two of you something to talk about if you’re also interested in what they have to say and what they think.

After you read, watch, listen you can ask them questions, offer your opinions, suggest things they can read, watch and listen to. Reciprocate, my friend.

Make a few affectionate mix tapes.

Mix tapes are not just spotify playlists, but if your crush has a CD player, you can send them a mix tape (mix CD). Of course, if you “pay attention,” you’ll learn if they are the type of person who wants mix tapes. Or, at the very least, tolerate them. Some songs I recommend:

Baby, I’m Dyin’ by Lolawolf
Don’t You Wanna Stay by Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean
Check On It by Beyoncé (featuring Bun B and Slim Thug)
Sex With Me by Rihanna
Moments by Tove Lo
Whatever You Like by T.I.
I’ve Got This Friend by The Civil Wars
Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap
Yayo by Lana Del Rey
Starving by Hailee Steinfeld & Grey
Heaven Sent by Keyshia Cole

Mind you these may be not so discreet and quietly subversive, but should get the message across. But, please know who they are before you send them mix tapes

Make sure you know what’s happening on their blog.

So, your crush has a weekly blog where they talk about their life, or critique pop culture, or offer advice? Like their posts every week. Comment every week.

All bloggers love the attention that’s why the blog. It gives you great things to bring up in conversation. i.e. “I loved your blog last week about what Pluto being reclassified means to a generation and how it’s shaped your view of yourself and your ability to return to who you’ve always been, but bigger and better.”

This is almost like “pay attention” but is strictly about bloggers and blogging. Seriously, they write because they want you to engage in what they wrote, so engage.

Add them as your “plus one” to events.

Invite them as your plus one to every event you can invite a plus one. I have been invited to birthday parties, to shows, and game nights (none of which I have attended) but I was always allowed to bring a plus one.

If you keep showing up to these events with the same person soon enough people will ask you if you two are together. Of course, you’ll deny it, but the seeds are planted.

Honest to God, two of my friends who have been married for 8 years now got together because someone asked them if they were together. The thought “never” entered their mine, but once they thought about it, they asked if it was something they both wanted try and it worked out! It’s not just for rom coms!

This might seem like a lot to due by next week, but you’ve got some time and you can keep working at it after Valentine’s Day. You know that calendar you have? Start making a to do list. You don’t have a calendar? Go buy one and prepare!

Check out more interesting ideas for Valentine’s Day with your crush like: The Best Unconventional Date Movies For Your Valentine’s Day or start your relationship off right with these 10 Signs Of A Healthy Relationship According To Experts.

The Differing Valentine’s Day Plans from Seven Couples Around the U.S.

February 10, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Valentine’s Day is on a Wednesday this year. What are you doing for the big day?

Ah, Valentine’s Day. That simultaneously loved and hated holiday that marks the fact that winter will be finally be ending in just a few short weeks.

If you’re wondering how others will be spending the holiday commemorating all things romance, here are just a few ways your fellow women will be celebrating the big V-Day. I always loved Valentine’s Day because it was a day I got to tell my friends and family how much I loved them without them looking at me like I was crazy. Whether I was single or taken, I always managed to have a fun and loving day.

While my plans were never anything all that special, I wanted to know what fellow females were up to on this special day.

Here are some of the plans ladies are doing this Valentine’s Day. I bet you can relate to many of them!

“Our first valentines Rob and I decided we were going to embrace the holiday for all its cheesiness! We were long distance at that point so we wanted to go all out. I flew to Michigan and we made a decision to find the most ridiculous but cheap candy or toy we could find in the store and find the most over-the-top card.

“On top of that we decided to pick a restaurant we would never normally go to so went to hibachi. Every year since then we have kept the tradition and the cards keep getting better and cheesier. We also almost know the hibachi routines by heart. I have bought him everything from a furry heart with beef jerky, funny game controller and this year a candy fishing tackle box!” – Dillon, VA

“I don’t have any official Valentine’s Day plans on the books, but if I were a betting woman my money would be on getting wine drunk on my couch with some girlfriends while having a movie (and food) binge.” – Jessica, VA

“It’s a Wednesday so it is going to be spent stabbing each other at fencing club. Real romantic. Haha.” – Katelyn, MD

“Haha I’m working 2 p.m. ‘til midnight on Valentine’s Day this year so I’m afraid my answer isn’t very exciting.” – Liz, D.C.

“Every year he’s ‘surprised’ me with a gift exchange and then we do dinner and the comedy club. We love laughing for Valentine’s Day.” – Christie, PA

“I have grad school that night, so I’ll be in class until 8ish. Then, I’ll go home and review my lesson plan for the next day and probably go to bed. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a pink sweet and I may make Valentines for my students.” – Erin, D.C.

“I doubt we’ll do much. My grandpa used to send me flowers every year whether I was in a relationship or not. It was something that always made my day, made me smile, and made me feel so loved and appreciated. As I slowly watch him decline, I know he won’t remember to send me anything. It’ll be a hard day thinking about the one person in my life who always loved me no matter what and who never once failed me. I will, however, forget about the fact that he’s not supposed to have sugar and send him chocolate.” — Sarah, D.C.

No matter how you choose to spend Valentine’s Day, it’s important to remember to do what’s best for you.

It’s okay to be single, it’s okay to do something sappy and romantic too, and it’s okay to remember those you love. Have fun and celebrate love. After all, that’s what the day is all about!

Let us know in the comments section below what you’ll be doing on Valentine’s Day and what it means to you.

Want to show us what #LoveIs and win big? Check out the contest we’re holding here.

What to do When You Have to Work on Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2018January 22, 2024 by Rae Meghanin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes life and responsibilities get in the way of love. For that, we’ve got some ideas for the working couple.

Since Valentine’s Day falls on a Wednesday this year, it may be hard to find time to spend with your significant other. If you work a typical nine to five job, you have a very limited amount of time in the morning and evening to do something to commemorate the holiday. Other types of shifts you may work, whether it’s retail, food service, or any other job with different hours, may make it even harder.

So how do you keep V-day special during a work day? Here are some ideas to maintain your holiday traditions.

Breakfast in bed

It might be a little cliche, but who doesn’t love waking up to the smell of pancakes in the morning? Wake up a little earlier than your S.O. on Valentine’s Day, and prepare their favorite breakfast. Give yourself time to eat together instead of rushing around like you would on any other morning. Make their special tea or coffee. Maybe get a vase put a little bouquet of flowers on the tray for a nice flourish. It’s a refreshing and lovely way to start your day.

Grab lunch at your favorite restaurant

The best dates involve food, and never fail to bring people together. If you work relatively close to each other, find your favorite restaurant in the area and meet up for a quick meal during your lunch break. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, you are still in your work clothes after all. Treating yourself to your favorite food together keeps the day a special occasion, and makes for a nice breather from a busy work day.

Send some flowers to the office

Or wherever it is that you might work. Make your partner’s coworkers envious by sending them a special delivery of roses, chocolates, or even an edible arrangement. It’s a simple and sweet reminder that you’re thinking of them amidst the stress of the workplace. A small card proclaiming your love is a nice touch as well. It keeps the spirit of the holiday alive, even when you have to be apart.

Have a movie night

After a long, tiring day at work, it’s likely that you and your partner won’t even want to go out. So keep it at home, and spend the night watching your favorite movies. It doesn’t have to be a Nicholas Sparks movie or any other stereotypical romantic flicks, but could instead be a movie that has brought you together in the past (check out my article on my partner and I’s favorite unconventional date flicks). Order some take out, watch some Netflix, and chill out for the night.

Enjoy the long weekend

Valentine’s this year may fall on a weekday, but luckily it happens to also be the same week as President’s Day. If you have this day off, plan a long weekend for you and your partner to spend together. Whether that may be taking a trip to a romantic getaway, or just staying in and binge watching a new TV show, the extra time spent with your S.O. will make up for the fact that you might not have had a chance to spend much time on the actual day.

All in all, any time spent with your partner on Valentine’s Day is time well spent. Whether you’re with them all day, or for just an hour, there are a number of possible ways to keep the holiday fun. However you may define it, Valentine’s Day is ultimately about the reasons why you love your partner, and a celebration of what brought you together.

If you’re looking for more ways to show your love, check out Valentine’s Day Is Great, But Here Are My Favorite Ways to Show Love All Year Round and How To Show Love By Making a Difference This Valentine’s Day.