7 Rules for Tapping Your Intuition in Love

April 20, 2017January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

From mind-reading on a date to tuning into psychic alarm bells, how you can use your sixth sense to find the perfect man…

Are you fed up looking for love in all the wrong places? It might be time to tune in to your intuition. As a psychic consultant, I believe the real reason we struggle to find the perfect partner is because we ignore our instincts.

We turn our back on our inner wisdom and listen to what people tell us rather than using our sixth sense. The results are confusion and heartbreak. You might think love is complicated, but when you use your instincts you’ll see it’s simple.

Follow my steps for getting in touch with your intuition and you’ll be able to mind-read your dates and suss out the Mr Rights and Mr Wrongs — and find a partner who is perfect for you…

YOUR SECRET POWERS

Did you know you can read minds?

We all have intuitive power. All of us have had feelings about people that have been correct, yet we can’t put our ﬁnger on why we felt the way we did.

We often know when a partner is lying to us, even if every logical sign is to the contrary. The problem arises when we choose to ignore these feelings.

‘I knew something wasn’t right from the start,’ my client will tell me, a month after her date has run off with her best friend. ‘But I hoped for the best.’ If only she’d listened to her inner wisdom.

How to tap into that intuition

Often, our minds are ﬁlled with daily chores, worries and problems. When our mind is full like this, we’re far away from our intuition and, as a result, we make bad decisions — particularly when it comes to relationships.

So set aside half an hour a day to clear your mind. Turn off the radio, TV and your mobile phone, close your eyes and let go of your thoughts and worries.

Intuitive thought comes from a calm place, but it also comes from taking notice of the signs the world is giving you . . .

SEVEN RULES OF INTUITION

Rule One: Believe In Yourself

The minute you begin to doubt yourself, your intuition stops talking to you.

Rule Two: Relax

The mind must be calm to let the right energy come through.

Rule Three: Listen to your dreams

Intuitive thoughts often come to us in dreams. So when you wake up, jot down as many details as you can remember, which will help make clearer the messages your dreams are trying to give you.

Rule Four: Notice coincidences

If you bump into an old friend, keep in touch. The universe is trying to send you a message — let your intuition be your guide.

Rule Five: Don’t ignore your feelings

Don’t try to suppress negative feelings with a chocolate bar. Instead of snacking to make yourself feel better, face up to what is making you unhappy.

Rule Six: Pay attention to your body

How often have you heard people say such things as ‘He makes me sick to my stomach’? Take time to listen to what your body is saying.

Rule Seven: Practice

No one would take an exam without study. It’s the same with intuition — use it every day to build up your powers.

UNDERSTAND YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS

Love cycles

Do you understand why past relationships ended? I’ve counselled many clients who have lived out the same bad relationship over and over again. Their partners change, but the relationship is the same.

Here are the ﬁve negative love cycles I see clients repeat over and over again:

You never get past the first few dates;
He leaves you for his ex;
He stops calling you;
He cheats on you;
He’s never good enough for you.

Don’t ignore psychic alarm bells

Now that we’ve identified the cycles, it’s time to take responsibility for your past relationships. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck with negative feelings. What warning signs did you ignore in the relationship?

Have you ever replayed a situation in your head after a relationship has ended and said to yourself ‘I knew something wasn’t right when he said that’? That’s a psychic alarm bell.

Look at your past two relationships or dating experiences and see if you can identify the alarm bells.

Write out three or four pages about each one, from how you met to how it all ended. Now, take a good look at what you’ve written and work out which warning signs you chose to ignore.

Did he ever talk about his former girlfriend and, if so, how did you feel at the time? Were there any unexplained date cancellations? What were the situations that gave you cause for alarm, but you brushed over?

You will see there was at least one alarm bell, and most likely four or ﬁve. Here is the important part: Learn from them. Look out for them in your next relationship.

Asking painful questions

Ask your intuition why you seek out these kinds of relationship. It might be painful, but it’s only in taking responsibility that you can move on.

If you never get past a few dates, is it because you are picking partners you aren’t suited to? If so, why?

If you keep going for men with former girlfriends in the wings, is it because you don’t think you really deserve a man with a clean slate?

And if no man is ever good enough for you, is it really because a bad relationship or complicated family background left you terrified of being hurt?

The biggest block to finding true love is self-esteem. Tune in to your higher self to access the confident, happy, loving you.

‘SEE’ YOUR SOULMATE

Now that you’ve reconciled your past, it’s time to look to the future.

I’m always amazed by how few people have taken the time to consider who is their perfect partner — Mr Right.

The Power of 100

This is a psychic tool to imagine your perfect mate. Take a piece of paper and write out at least 100 things you would like in your future partner.

You could include ‘qualities’ such as ‘loves watching EastEnders’ and ‘can ride a bike with no hands’. Write only positive statements.

Once you’ve noted the qualities you would like, you will have a picture of the person with whom you want to spend your life.

Believe it or not, that person exists and is on his way. Your soulmate might be a new person or an old friend who drifts back into your life at exactly the right moment.

DATING

Mind-reading when you meet

Feelings are the messengers of the intuition. Pay attention to how you feel when you’re spending time with a new love interest. Most people have a few nerves when they’re dating, especially if they’re really interested in someone, and this is ﬁne. But do you feel anything else? Happiness? Comfort or discomfort? Unusual levels of anxiety? Take note.

How to spot Mr Wrong

You might meet people who aren’t good relationship material — you’ll need your intuition to be on the alert for men who aren’t what they seem to be.

There are three types of Mr Wrong: Married Men, Players and Commitment-phobes. Each comes with his own early warning system. If he pays only with cash and can’t see you at weekends — is he married? If he says charming things, but his actions say he couldn’t care less — is he a game player?

Listen to those psychic alarm bells.

How to spot Mr Right

Once you’ve got past the first few dates, how do you know love is long-term? Your intuition has a special way of showing you that a man genuinely cares.

There are many psychic love signs — he might choose dates that match your taste — but mostly it is just a feeling. Finding Mr Right will make you feel warm, contented, special and safe.

By tuning in to your powers of intuition you will find this true love.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Millennials: What Do ‘Grown-Up Relationships’ Look Like?

April 21, 2017January 22, 2024 by RJ Newellin LOVE

Have you seen these headlines?

‘Millennial Commitment-Phobia Threatens the Future of Love.’

‘Are Dating Apps the End of Romance?’

‘Love is Dead, and Millennials Killed It.’

Thanks for the laughs, Google. I wholeheartedly disagree.

While everyone is different, I believe that most Millennials do believe in love and commitment in some form or another. The fact that we’re free to feel otherwise and/or change our minds can actually strengthen our ultimate resolve to have these needs met. Millennials want joy and fulfillment in our relationships, in whatever way we feel is best for us.

Maybe that’s the key difference that’s scaring everyone. We don’t choose partners based on “whatever society says is best,” or even “what our parents think we should do.” We love in whatever way we feel is best for us.

The ways in which today’s singles ‘hunt and gather’ in relationships looks drastically different than previous generations, but that’s not necessarily new. Our parents’ love lives were different from their parents, just as their parents’ were different from their grandparents. As technology and culture jump forward, so do the ways in which we live our lives. Call it evolution, development, advancement, whatever – change can be uncomfortable for some, but it’s important.

In the 60s, ‘free love’ was said to be the end of relationships. Was it?

When women began prioritizing their education and careers, they were said to be ‘destroying traditional family values.’ Did they?

When divorce was legalized, it was an outrage. “Commitment is dead!” they said.

Fast forward to 2017: same kids, new toys. Millennials are not the first generation to shake things up, and it’s okay. Commitment phobia, ‘ghosting’ and one-night stands are not new concepts. We just have flashy new apps, websites and catchphrases for them now.

Instead of going out for milk and never coming home (as great-grandpa did back in the day), we can just press ‘block,’ ‘delete’ and then go on with our lives. It’s cheaper and safer than the old-fashioned alternatives, especially if marriage hasn’t entered the picture. Millennials aren’t forced to enter legal contracts before they’re ready (risking long-term unhappiness, family dysfunction, infidelity and more). We are free to pick and choose the kinds of relationships we actually want.

So why isn’t everyone celebrating?

As great as evolution is, these advances do make things a little more complicated.

In Scientific American, Helen Fisher (a relationship expert at Rutgers University and chief scientific advisor at Match.com) has said that she does not subscribe to the idea of a ‘relationship apocalypse.’ Instead, she describes modern dating trends as “slow love,” meaning that Millennials are taking more time to experiment and find out what they don’t want before they settle down with what they do want.

Thanks to dating apps, we have infinitely more choices when it comes to selecting a partner. This makes love more complicated than it was for our grandparents, dating only within their own towns and cities.

If I’m offered three types of breakfast cereal to choose from, it might take five minutes to pick. But what about three hundred choices? I might be in the breakfast aisle forever.

I’m not fickle or indecisive for using multiple dating apps. Like any sensible human, I want to consider all the options before making a decision. It isn’t impulsiveness or fear that leads Millennials to jump around; it’s actually a sense of responsibility.

The behaviors we engage in are not new; our openness about them is. LGBTQ+ Americans have always been around, whether we were socially accepted or not. The gender spectrum hasn’t changed, our language for it has. Single parenthood, premarital sex, polyamory, fetishes, and infidelity are not new ideas. Neither is blaming ‘those damn kids’ for things that make us uncomfortable.

Being open about our needs has a number of positive benefits: safer sex, improved psychological health, better relationships, increased acceptance of ourselves and others, and fewer wasted years trying to hide and fit into lives that aren’t genuine. With that said…I get it. Dating is fine and dandy, but what about commitment?

In a generation that notoriously struggles to ‘adult,’ what do Grown-Up Relationships look like?

I remember sitting in the schoolyard at five years old, trying to picture myself at twenty. I imagined I’d be married, have a house, two kids and a dog. Now that twenty has come and gone, I can’t help but giggle at this outlandish fantasy. The vast majority of today’s twenty year-olds can’t afford their own rent, let alone support a family.

To understand why we most likely aren’t married (yet or ever), let’s consider some of the factors surrounding our life decisions. According to the Pew Research Center, Millennials are more educated but significantly less affluent than previous generations. Adults in their 20s and early 30s are more likely to still live with their parents; this comes not out of desire or laziness, but of need. Most of us can’t afford to throw a wedding in our twenties, let alone buy a house and start a family. While the bar for success has risen with our education, the odds for a stable career are lower than ever. Is it any wonder then, that most of us won’t marry young?

If by ‘grown up’ you mean financially stable, most of us aren’t there yet. But if maturity is a measure of emotional independence, personal commitment to improvement and working hard to attain stability – then yes, we’re all adults, here.

Millennial relationships are Grown-Up Relationships. And modern grown-ups don’t need to get married. We need love and support – and that doesn’t necessarily mean following blueprints set by our parents. Most of my Millennials friends don’t consider marriage a bad thing, but they also aren’t ready (or willing) any time soon.

I married my partner, but I am definitely not a “grown-up” with a house and two kids the way my five-year-old self had anticipated. Our world is not that of our grandparents, so today’s typical marriage looks a little different. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to make the same choices as me, or vice versa. My grown-up relationship is not your grown-up relationship, just as my day-job is not your day-job. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Don’t let outdated standards determine your modern needs.

Perhaps instead of worrying that our love lives aren’t ‘mature’ by ancient standards, we can look at the big picture and accept that we are exactly where we’re supposed to be for this time in history. If you’re one of 1.8 billion Millennials navigating love in an unprecedented world, I applaud you. You’re not alone, you’re not the first, and you’re certainly not the last.

Welcome to Millennial Love. What does it mean to you?

Relationship 911: Unpacking Shame

April 25, 2017January 22, 2024 by RJ Newellin LOVE

The ways we perceive the actions of others reflect how we see ourselves. I knew I had a problem with shame because of how I’d been treating my partner.

It began innocently enough.

“Are you really going to eat all of that?” I’d ask playfully, as if monitoring his eating would negate my own cravings.

“You did what in high school?” I’d gasp, appalled at whatever crazy anecdote came up. As if I were Mother Theresa.

I was looking at his past under the same negative microscope with which I judged my own. This served to confirm my belief that my mistakes made me a bad person.

Shame was deeply rooted in my relationship history, but I covered it with false bravado, impulsiveness and deflection. Subconsciously, I kept focus away from my own negative qualities by looking for them in others. Even in those I loved.

At the time, I saw this as a positive behavior. I would point to something I saw as a fault in my lover, then actively assert myself in “helping” him fix it. I thought that this made me a good partner. But in truth, I was anything but.

I didn’t know how to love someone without trying to improve him or her somehow – even if my words said otherwise, and even if I didn’t really want to change them. I couldn’t help myself. Judgment, blame and shame were all that I knew, even when life was good.

“Blame is [a] defensive cover-up for shame. Blame maintains the balance in a dysfunctional system when control has broken down.” – John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You

I could say that I developed these habits because of my religious upbringing, where love came with conditions. Or I could blame my actions on past relationships, because they all seemed to have been dysfunctional in this way. But to actually solve the problem, I would have to look at the common denominator in these factors: me.

I didn’t know how to love myself without pretense or perfectionism. And because I didn’t take the time to admit this before I entered the relationship, it took a big toll on my partner. I was ruining my life, without even realizing it.

At the time, I was convinced that I was in the right. I believed that caring for people in spite of their shortcomings was the same as unconditional love. The very foundation of my relationships had been poisoned by shame. I acted defensively by default, manifesting of my own deepest fears. I truly loved my partner, but I was doing it wrong.

It took a great deal of therapy, self-reflection and rock bottom moments for me to finally have the guts to look in the mirror and acknowledge the fearful person staring back at me.

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Dancing With the Stars: This Week’s Love Meter Review and Shocking Elimination!

April 27, 2017January 22, 2024 by Kelley Lynnin LOVE

On this week’s favorite ballroom blitz extravaganza reality show, eight couples remained. For the first time ever, the show did a new theme where pairs danced to iconic Boy Bands and Girl Groups, and former contestant, runner-up to the winner, and Backstreet Boys member Nick Carter, sat in as guest judge. Also this week, was a TEAM DANCE broken up into teams of men vs. the women. As always, the 4 judges on the panel gave their opinions and scores on the dancing and choreography, but we here at LOVE TV will critique what really matters – the couple’s chemistry. Now unless you are a professional like me, please do not try to rate the couples at home. This must only be done in a professional environment, using my special scientific formula (I made it up). Just come here, and read on. Oh, and you’re welcome. Let’s get started with this week’s action:

SIMONE AND SASHA: EGG ON THE FACE

They did the Samba to a Destiny’s Child song. During rehearsal footage, Simone was asked if her partner was sexy, to which she responded, “Hmmm, thats pushing it. Sexy? No. Rashad is sexy!” (and she is right) Their dance got mixed reviews, with mostly high marks, and with Len saying “the timing was suspect, like my bladder.” Okay, maybe I made up that last part. But you can’t prove it. Backstage, Erin Andrews further embarassed Simone by bringing up her sexy crush on him. She giggled like a schoolgirl, which she is, technically.

Judges Scores: 9/8/9/9

Love Meter Score: This week, I’m giving this couple a score of EGG ON THE FACE, because it must have been slightly awkward having to practice with Sasha for 17 thousand more hours, right after saying he isn’t sexy in the slightest.

BONNER AND SHARNA: COOL DOWN

They did the Rumba, to a Backstreet Boys song, with Nick Carter being a former member AND also being Sharna’s former dance partner. So, the pressure was on. The dance was lovely, but i feel like some of their former spark has started to dim a bit, or maybe they are over each other already. There was a definite hot chemistry factor with these two, the first few weeks, and although it’s still there, its getting more lukewarm for some reason. Nick said: “I can’t be more proud of what I just saw.” Bonner claimed in rehearsals, to cameras, that he is the worst dancer on the show. Yeah, but he also has the best naked chest, and is the cutest. So, there’s that.

Judges Scores: 8/8/7/7

Love Meter Score: Giving these two a scientific score of COOL DOWN PERIOD. To be determined as to whether or not their hot status re-appears in the future.

NANCY AND ARTEM: FRIENDS

They danced to the Girl Group EnVogue, and they did the Paso Doble. Nancy was very overly critical of herself during footage, and Artem tried to comfort her while still being the firm and supportive coach. Their dance was quite nice, and you could feel the supportive and caring nature coming from her partner in their movements. Carrie Ann called it “spot on. Well done.” Nick said “My mind is blown. You have blown my mind.” Bruno made a sound that only Bruno can understand. Len napped in his Cream of Wheat.

Judges Scores: 9/8/8/8

Love Meter Score: Giving these two a chemistry reading of FRIENDLY COACH, because I’m guessing that Artem is way sweeter and more friendly than any of the Olympic coaches Kerrigan is used to. They can be tyrants.

NICK AND PETA: SIBLINGS

Their dance was to the Beach Boys classic “Fun Fun Fun”, and it was a Jive. The routine had the feel of a 1950s scene, with the TV appearing black and white as if in an old music video or movie. They were pretty adorable together this week, and she was great with him in rehearsals about helping him let go of his insecurities as a dancer. Len said it was “lacking polish and finesse, like my …. oh, never mind.” Now, I may have misheard him, but I could have sworn that Bruno said the dance was “a bit like a stroke”, which was absolutely hilarious and also extremely wrong. Maybe he said something else, but Nick Carter and Carrie Ann sort of gasped when he said it, so who knows. Nobody ever knows what the hell that guy says, because nobody can understand him. Except Charo. Charo could understand Bruno, because she spoke the same crazy language.

Judges Scores: 7/7/7/7

Love Meter Score: This week, they get a score of BIG SIS AND LITTLE BROTHER vibe, because that’s how it felt.

NORMANI AND VAL: SIZZLE

They did the Salsa, and their theme was that Val was a hot and sexy construction worker, grabbing her off the street for a sexy dance. It was very hot, and the chemistry was great this week. Bruno had the funniest and wackiest, most innuendo comment with: “It melted all my wiring, and blew out all my boxes!” Carrie Ann said that Normani’s body lines were perfection. And if it weren’t for Grumpy Len, their scores would have also been perfection. You can’t really blame him though. They woke him up from his nap.

Judges Scores: 10/10/8/10

Love Meter Score: Hot, hot, and even more hot! Like SIZZLING FAJITAS!!!!

DAVID AND LINDSAY: PAPA DON’T PREACH

They did the Argentine Tango to an N’Sync song. I always love these two. They are so darn cute, and he is the most genuine guy. The way the Chicago Cubs and his former Boston Red Sox teams support him on the show is so cool. Lindsey told him she is his coach, and he responded with “I see it like this. You’re my teammate.” He was a bit stressed out this week due to busy schedule and tension, and she helped him relax. Carrie Ann said “you don’t seem like yourself tonight.” Bruno pointed out that he almost dropped Lindsey while on a lift. David replied with: “I might come off as grumpy when I’m trying to just be serious. Was trying to be sexy for this dance, but Lindsey is like my daughter, so it’s weird.” Love them.

Judges Scores: 7/8/7/7

Love Meter Score: Since Lindsey is like a daughter to him, I’m giving them a PAPA DON’T PREACH score this week.

RASHAD AND EMMA: DRILL SERGEANT

They danced to the Four Tops, and had the Tango. During rehearsals, Emma was working Rashad like crazy, and he noticed when he said to cameras “This girl ain’t playin around. She’s serious.” It paid off, because their connection and hard work showed in the dance. Bruno said creepily: “You wanted to show us what you’ve got, and you’ve got plenty!”

Judges Scores: 9/10/9/9

Love Meter Score: Giving their fierceness and determination DRILL SERGEANT status this week, because Emma wasn’t playin!!!

HEATHER AND MAKS: STUNNER

So, after a few weeks nursing his injury and being replaced by another pro dancer as Heathers partner, Maks was finally back, and their connection was stronger and better than ever. They did the TLC song “Waterfalls”, and they had the Rumba. She was joking with him that she wanted to get the “Disney 10 score” last week and didn’t, and he promised her that she would get the 10 score this week with him. The movements were perfect, and they seemed extremely happy to be back together again. Len said: “Beautiful leg action, knockout dance.” Nick called it his “favorite dance of the night.” It was super sexy and passionate, and she is a kick-ass dancer.

Judges Scores: 10/10/10/10

Love Meter Score: SIMPLY STUNNING!

TEAM BOYBAND: The men and their pro-dance partners did a fun medley that had a bit of “Magic Mike” quality to it, and was super fun. Their chemistry together as guys was a blast. They were like old friends having a great time.

TEAM GIRLGROUP: Fun chemistry, lots of athletic movement, but didn’t seem as flowing as the men’s number.

ELIMINATION:

Well, here comes the shocker. Who went home this week? Not Nick, the bachelor who can only “sort of” dance, on a good day. Not the baseball player, because he is so sweet and funny and not too terrible, and everyone just loves him to pieces. Who went home, was the girl who everyone thought would be in the Finals. The girl who got her PERFECT TEN scores tonight, as promised by Maks. The girl who had to work with a different partner on the fly, because her original one was injured. Yup. Heather went home, and you could tell that she was just as shocked as everyone else. Also, the massive BOOING coming from the audience showed their disdain for the results. Hey, at least she didn’t go home before Mr. T. Or the horror show that was Chris Kattan. Could somebody wake Len up? Who is going to tell him that Heather was eliminated? Bergeron, that will be your job. He likes you best.

Why I Prefer for the Woman to Make the First Move

May 3, 2017January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

For 23 years, I’ve always felt like it’s been my responsibility to make the first move in dating situations.

It’s not like anyone has ever formally told me this would be my responsibility either.

It’s just one of those concepts that has been instilled in me by society — whether through popular culture or other forms of media — for about as long as I can remember.

And I’m not sure why.

I feel we’re at a place right now, as humans, where gender shouldn’t affect our behavior — or, at the very least, shouldn’t restrict it.

I’m sure there are women at the bar who would love to approach a guy they’re interested in but stray away from doing so because of conventional dating standards.

At the same time, I’d love for a woman to approach me. Here’s why.

1. I’m shy, also.

It’s difficult to always be the one responsible for making any type of first move.

If I don’t make an attempt to approach you, it doesn’t always mean I’m not interested in you — it’s just that we, as men, can get shy too. And rejection isn’t always how we’d like to end the night.

It would definitely be refreshing for you to approach us once in a while, especially if you’re just sitting around hoping we’ll approach you.

At the end of the day, the first move is just that — the first of many potential moves.

We might just be too shy to make it, early on.

2. I won’t spend half the conversation wondering if I’m bothering you.

It’s difficult trying to create something out of nothing, and conversation is definitely not the exception, especially when you’re approaching a complete stranger at the bar and can’t really tell whether or not he or she is into you — or just entertaining your presence out of politeness.

And while we appreciate your efforts to conserve our egos, if your intentions aren’t on the same plane as ours, it’s really only leading us further down the rabbit hole.

For that reason, if we’re not 100 percent certain there’s chemistry, we may end up pulling the plug on our next move entirely, just to avoid bothering you.

3. I like a girl who knows what she wants.

Women who aren’t sure what they want are usually the ones who end up getting hurt, further down the road.

With that said, part of maturity is understanding what qualities to look for in another person and striving towards that.

It’s attractive to see a woman who is mature enough to act on her desires, regardless of any social “norms” that would suggest against it.

It will also lead to more successful relationships as a result of her being proactive about her own wants.

4. You don’t settle.

Nowadays, people are terrified of being single; they’ll settle for the first person who walks into their lives and shows them some attention.

Naturally, this is not a recipe for success. This is actually the fast lane to failure.

In my mind, “settling” comes from a place of insecurity. The way I see things, if you know your own self-worth, you’ll make sure you get something — or someone — you deserve.

It might take time, and it definitely requires more effort than just waiting for your number to get called — regardless of who’s calling it.

5. It’s intimidating, and I find that sexy.

If a woman ever approached me at the bar, to be quite honest, I think I’d be a bit taken aback. But not in the bad way, frankly, I think I’d be impressed.

See, a woman who makes the first move shows she can thrive on the offensive side of things, too — and that can be intimidating.

But it’s also extremely sexy — the same way Angelina Jolie maintains equal parts intimidation and sexy.

In fact, I feel like Angelina Jolie has no trouble picking up guys at the bar, or had no trouble doing so back when she was single.

And I’m all about that.

6. I know your intentions from the jump.

I feel like the whole concept of flirting or courting another human being is a game; you want to show the other person you’re interested, but at the same time, you don’t want to show your hand too early on and risk coming on too strong.

A lot of times, however, men will misread the “signals” within this game of dating.

I mean, you might think you’re “playing hard to get,” but I might just take it as you’re not into me and back off.

When a girl takes it upon herself to make the first move, I won’t have to worry about trying to read — or misread — signals; I’ll already have a head start on deciphering your intentions from the get.

7. It shows me you’re confident.

Confidence is the most attractive human quality imaginable, so to see you walk up to me — without any fear of rejection — will always be sexy.

It also tells me you’re not insecure about certain aspects of your character or appearance, which is why you chose not to hide in the corner of the bar like the rest of the girls.

When I see a confident woman, it only makes me want to find out exactly what it is behind it — or what’s driving it.

That’s the basis of intrigue, and it will only encourage a more upfront, give-no-f*cks dynamic to the chase.

8. I know you don’t want to be “just friends.”

There’s nothing worse than pressing a certain girl for days, even months, only to find out she’s made reservations for your ass in the “friend zone” since the very beginning.

I mean, it’s not that you’re uninterested in being friends with her; it’s just that you haven’t been on the same page as her, which becomes frustrating.

If women made the first move more often, we’d be able to distinguish between “friends” and “potential dating options,” which suddenly makes everything clearer.

After all, in most cases, it’s better to keep those eggs separated.

9. You defy convention.

It’s 2015; there shouldn’t be “norms” that still hold the greater population hostage to certain social situations.

If you’re a woman who sees a guy she likes, go talk to him. I doubt we — the entire male gender — will decide to just abandon any responsibility to reciprocate.

It’s not like that. We’re all humans here, humans with needs and wants — and we should all feel free to act upon these desires, regardless of our gender.

10. You’re not the type of girl who waits for things to come to her.

The fact that you possess the ability to see something you want and go and get it is a testament to your overall ambition.

It will show us you’re not complacent relative to matters of life. More importantly, it shows us you’re not complacent regarding the people in your life, either.

It doesn’t make you any less “feminine” to go approach a male at the bar. I’m not sure how gender even comes into play, quite frankly, with respect to making the first move.

When you see something you want, you should feel free to pursue it — regardless of gender or any societal norm urging you to wait for someone else.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Romance Has Been at a Standstill in My Life, Not This Summer.

May 12, 2017January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

ACCEPT THE INVITATION

One time I was totally having a wonderful conversation with a guy and near the end of our time at work he asked me what I would be doing at the end of the shift. I took that as an indication that he was no longer interested in having a conversation with me, so I told him I had to go pay rent money to my roommate which was true, but it wasn’t until after, that I realized that he was probably going to invite me to hang with him. I totally misread the situation. If someone asks you what your plans after the thing you’re doing are, don’t assume that it’s because they are just curious. It is their way of gauging you’re availability so they can ask you to hang out. If only I could go back to this day. I would have answered it like this: “Umm…nothing really. Why?” This could have totally shifted the course of things. I haven’t seen him in several months, or has it been a year, after our gig ended and now I am without this friend, possible potential boyfriend.

I also did this years ago when a guy I was totally into asked me to hang out, and me being the developmentally arrested girl I was, still drinking from her mother’s teat, said “Sorry can’t. Mom won’t let me.” I was like early 20s! And what if he met me in 2017? What if he asked me that question today? I am a totally different person now.

Sometimes, I mourn for the boys I crushed on because they met me at a more sheltered time in my life. Me, today, sheltered, but not in the way I once was, would be up for adventure. I could be in Shanghai right now on a weeklong adventure with him!

It’s so sad when things happen to you before you’re ready for them!

STOP USING YOUR LACK OF FUNDS AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO DO THINGS!

I am queen of “I have no money. I’m too broke. Sorry, can’t socialize.” But, you can’t live your life like this. I recently spent way too much money on a steak meal because I never do. Because I’ve conditioned myself to believe that money is only to be saved and when used should only be used for practical things and only frugally. But, no if he invites you to his $15 concert go! Just go. Say no to Starbucks or cigarettes for a week and save that money and go see his band play. We have to show people we are interested. Our fears can’t be the driving force in our lives. By saying I don’t have the money I’m choosing to be scared of living life. No one’s saying you gotta go see every show ever, but at least once or twice. Go to a movie even. Movies are totally overpriced, but if you go to one or two in a month the world will still turn. Maybe I’ll go see that $39 Broadway show with the guy I have the hots for should he ask. Or should I ask!

AGE AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A NUMBER!

Within reason. Let’s be legal please. But, I have this huge hang up about dating guys younger than me. Like four years younger than me. Five years younger than me. I consider them to be children and the idea of dating them makes me sick, but that’s my own personal hang-up. It’s not like I’m dating an 18 year old. If I’m 30 and he’s 25 or if I’m 27 and he’s 23, it’s not the end of the world if we go out to eat. Sure, younger guys can be immature and lame, but we’re not talking marriage here. Just, “Hey he’s attractive, let’s go to a party!” The president of France’s has step children born in the same decade as him. He’s doing alright. You’ll be alright too.

This summer I don’t want to be closed off. Romance has been at a standstill in my life since the beginning of time. The last time I attempted to give it a shot, was a summer, and it went horribly wrong and it took me a long time to recover. But, New Year, new me! I don’t want to live in the shadows. You don’t either. Let’s not be complacent in hiding.

5 Reasons to Have a Summer Fling

May 15, 2017January 22, 2024 by Jennifer Ashley Greenein DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Summer lovin’ had me a blast. Summer lovin’ happened so fast.

I know, technically it’s still spring, but let’s be realistic, people are solidifying their Memorial Day Weekend plans and then all of a sudden it’s summer and if we don’t start thinking about it now, we’ll be ill prepared when everyone else is all geared up (and paired up) for those steamier days (and nights!) So back to summer love I go! What’s the appeal of a relationship that only lasts three months? What’s the point? This is how I answered my friend recently when she asked me if I’d ever have a “fling”. Admittedly, I didn’t know people used this term in real life so once I stopped laughing at her and was able to have a serious discussion about it, I was surprised to discover that we both agreed it might not be the worst thing.

Here’s why I changed my whole perspective on the fling thing. The idea of getting involved with someone when there’s a timestamp on the whole experience gave me a bit of pause at first, sure, but when I spun it differently (and there ‘s always more than one way to look at any given situation) it actually sounded kind of exciting to me. I started thinking about not having to wonder where my relationship is headed, or if we both want the same things. The stuff he does that bugs the hell out of me? Who cares? Soon enough those annoying habits will be someone else’s problem! The idea of just being present and focusing on enjoying our time together without worrying about expectations or plans for the future is all too appealing. I can just be myself and feel comfortable and not have to change a single thing about me.

That sounds lovely doesn’t it? Being yourself in a relationship? What a notion! I don’t know about you, but I struggle with this seemingly easy concept more often than not. Speaking my mind, communicating my needs, setting boundaries, all the while being myself and having fun? I’m sorry, what? It can be totally overwhelming trying to find the delicate balance that relationships require. So when I think of taking the thing that overwhelms me the most- the future- off the table, and just focus on the ‘now’ part, then, um, yeah, I think I’ll give this whole summer love thing a shot. When I think of all the fun things associated with summer- beaches, pools, vacations, picnics, outdoor concerts, fireworks, etc, and then having someone to do these things with? Yes please! Why wouldn’t I be open to this?

In case you’re not sold on flinging yet, allow me to really drive my point home with some of the benefits I found to being open-minded to this kind of non-commitment:

Being in a less serious relationship helps to take some pressure off and has gotten me in the mindset of enjoying dating (yes, it’s possible!)
I have the perfect opportunity to make some mistakes! Look, dating can be super challenging; no one is going to argue that. Here’s a chance for me to do all the things I might not do in a serious relationship.
You know all those events we get invited to in the summer? I do, and I dread going to them solo. Barbeques, weekends at the beach, weddings? Having someone to attend with? Someone to satisfy everyone’s constant probe, “are you seeing anyone?” Sign me up!
It’ll encourage me to break the pattern of my usual “type”. Who doesn’t have a dating pattern? Mainly attracted to athletes? Ethnic guys? Financiers? I am. I’m going to take a risk and date someone outside the norm for me. Maybe a politician. Who knows? That in and of itself is super exciting and enough to make me want to give this a shot. Even if it ends up being as epic a fail as breakaway track pants, I’ll have learned something from the experience!
It’s not easy to do things solely on your terms in relationships. Things get really tricky when considering the feelings of everyone involved. Having a short summer romance might actually help me to find my voice, and gain more confidence when it comes to stating my needs in a future (serious) relationship.

All I’m saying is I’m going to give this a shot. There are way worse things than opening myself to the possibility of happiness. And even if I just discover it’s not for me? Awesome. Now I know. And I’ll also have a really fun “fling” story to share with my friends. My online dating stories are getting old anyway.

Dancing With the Stars: The Semi-Finals Love Meter Review!

May 19, 2017January 22, 2024 by Kelley Lynnin LOVE

SHOCKING ELIMINATION: It’s all about the Chemistry

This week was Semi-Finals Week on everyone’s favorite dance show, and each of the remaining four couples were judged one last time before seeing who would make it into the Finals. As always, the judges panel on the show were in charge of scoring the choreography, dance moves, and technical abilities of each couple. But we here at LOVE TV have a different but just as important purpose – judging the chemistry between each couple, and sometimes the chemistry in other random places where it’s appropriate (such as the chemistry between Len and his grumpyness, or between Bruno and extra-grumpy Len, when he hasn’t had his nap. ) With only 4 couples left this week, the elimination took another surprising turn, which had the judges gasping with shock at who went home. Let’s take a look:

NORMANI AND VAL: Sweet!

They did a Vienesse Waltz, which was quite lovely, and they were both very sweaty. You could barely see their faces because there was so much sweat coming off of the both of them together. Julianne said the dance was “stunning. You dance as one. ” Yes, and they sweat as one, too! Bruno said: “Sin city! Get out of there! Sexy! ” No. Seriously. That is what he said. Nobody else knows what it means either. A funny exchange proving this followed, when Bruno yelled: “Everybodys so pumped up!”, and Tom Bergeron replied: “Well, clearly YOU are!”

Judges Scores: 10/10/10/10

Love Meter Score: Giving them a score of SWEAT BUDDIES, because they were sweating like fools out there, and their chemistry is very buddy-like.

DAVID AND LINDSAY: So Cute!

They did the Foxtrot, and as always, they were adorable and so likable. This guy could WIN this thing, due to all his very loyal Cubs player fans and Cub FANS fans. (Trust me, it makes sense) In any case, Bruno said: “Lots of margaritas! Joy! Fun! I watch you everyday!” Was he drunk? He was making even less sense than usual this week. Carrie Ann called the dance “much improved. You bring it!” Len called David “the boy that brings joy!” Wow, all this cute rhyming.

Judges Scores: 9/8/9/8

Love Meter Score: AWWWWWWWW!!! Their relationship just screams that phrase. Everytime I see them together , I think “Awwww!!!” They are so damn cute, and so likable, and each week, their dance isnt the best dance, but people love it to death, and they are just a big ball of “Awwwww!!!!” And they may win the whole show because of “Awww!”

SIMONE AND SASHA: Brady Bunch!

These two are pretty darn good, VERY good actually. She is like a professional dancer most weeks. They did the Jive, and it was an Arcade theme. Bruno said: “Wreckless sassy attitude!” I swear, I dont know what meds he is on this week, but I wish someone would give me some. Carrie Ann said “You danced with soul tonight.” Their dances were clearly the best of the night, and their chemistry has gotten a lot closer over the weeks. Its sort of a sibling love I feel coming from them, one of respect and mutual admiration. And they are fun. They have fun together.

Judges Scores: 10/10/10/10 Perfect scores all night long

Love Meter Score: Because they are so darn cute and also sibling-like, I am giving them a score of “BRADY BUNCH!” vibe. They are like Cindy and Bobby Brady. So cute. So innocent. So Brady. The funny part is, Sasha is probably too young to even get the reference.

RASHAD AND EMMA: Delicious!

They did the Quickstep, and it was lovely. He is a great dancer, and I lovve his personality. She is a bit quirky and I love her accent, and they sort of are like two people whom you dont expect to work together, but do. They are a surprising delightful treat together. Len said something about “It was hard, then soft. Then big, then small.” Ummm, no comment. Julianne thought the dance was great, calling it “all improved. Well done.”

Judges Scores: 9/9/10/10

Love Meter Score: SCRAMBLED EGGS AND HOT SAUCE!!! You dont think it goes together, but it does!!! And its quite delicious, and strange!!! And delicious!!! I think they will be in the Finals.

SHOCKING ELIMINATION: It’s all about the Chemistry

So the bottom two couples after votes were Lindsay and David, and Sasha and Simone.

Simone and Sasha went home.

After getting two scores of Perfect Tens.

It was shocking. The judges looked mad as hell. The chemistry between the audience at home and Simone isnt as good as the love between the fans at home and David Ross of the Chicago Cubs. They just love that guy, even if he is only a mediocre dancer. Just goes to show, its that love connection and chemistry, from audience to celebrity, that counts. They love his personality. His humor. His humility. He might win. But in the meantime, Sasha was sent home one week before the Finale. And everyone was booing that choice.

Next week is the Finale, and the best part of the show, when each couple gets to do their “Freestyle” dance. Will Bruno start making some sense? Will the audience ever stop booing from this week’s elimination? Who will win the Mirror Ball Trophy and zero money? Stay tuned next week to find out ………

Love and Obsession: How to Tell Them Apart and Leave One Behind

May 22, 2017January 22, 2024 by Virginia Jonesin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

I’ve been the target and I’ve been the obsessed and neither of them feel great.

Scenario One: You can’t stop thinking about him. You go to sleep thinking about him and wake up wondering what he’s doing. When you wake up, you already have a message from him saying that he can’t stop thinking about you either.

You’re in new love!

Scenario Two: You can’t stop thinking about him. You go to sleep thinking about him and wake up wondering what he’s doing, and hope you’ll see him soon. You feel like your connection is so strong, you’ve just got to be together. You think you’re in love.

You’re not. You’re obsessed.

Obsession and unrequited love can seem extremely romantic, and are frequently romanticized in works of fiction. Love stories like The Princess Bride, Pretty in Pink, Edward Scissorhands and The Notebook all have love stories that originate in one-sided obsession. In many films, this single-minded pursuit is rewarded by the return of that love. In real life, that could happen, but more frequently it does not.

Music is rife with obsession- in Late Night, Maudlin Street, Morrissey (the OG romantic obsessive) says “I could list the detail of everything you ever wore or said or how you stood”- Stevin Merritt’s The Magnetic Fields lets a girl know that he’s just a fan who remembers every dress she ever wore. Pretty much all Evanescence songs are about obsession or stalking. Look out for fans of that band.

If you’re not loved back, obsession can lead to unhealthy attachment, stalking, or just profound unhappiness as the obsessed person refuses to let go of the object of attachment, perhaps believing that they have no power to do so, and missing out on other possible partners while they are blinded by their pursuit of one. In the circular logic of obsession, the obsessed person will sabotage new relationships to self-fulfill their belief that they can only be happy with the object of their obsession. “SEE, THERE IS NOBODY FOR ME BUT CARLA!”

Real love is much more practical than people think- attraction is magical and capricious, chemical in many ways, but in the day to day, love is something two people make together with words and deeds, because they are attracted to each other and care for each other, and it’s not something you can do with yourself. Like the tango, it takes two. If you say to yourself, “If only they knew how much I loved them…” you can stop right there. You’re not in love, you’re obsessed.

I’m Not Really Obsessed, Am I?

Sometimes the slide from normal crush to unhealthy obsession feels gradual, and you might not even notice- but if you’ve been interested in a person for a while, you’ve made your interest known, and it’s not returned- it’s time to back off and try to leave that idea behind. You’re not in love, because you don’t really know this person. You’re imprinting on some traits you like and filling in everything else with information of your own making. You’re in love with an idea of them, and that person you think you love likely doesn’t exist.

I’ve been the target and I’ve been the obsessed and neither of them feel good. If you know someone cares for you and you don’t feel the same way, you feel pity and guilt and can feel like a failure for not feeling the same way. If you’re obsessed with someone who doesn’t care for you, it feels like you’ll never care for anyone else.

A friend of mine was telling me about going to a wedding of a woman he was obsessed with, and how he thought it was important that he go and support the bride, even though it made him want to collapse as he stood in a room of happy people watching her pledge her eternal love for another man. He spoke about his feelings for her, the length and depth and passion of those feelings, and it would be easy to assume that she was an ex lover, but they had never been anything more than friends. This didn’t keep him from feeling betrayed, from being miserable, and from cutting other dating pursuits short because they failed to measure up to her, his impossible goal.

OK, I’m Obsessed. How Do I Get Out?

You might think that you’re stuck obsessing over someone, because they’re perfect for you and WHY DON’T THEY SEE THAT?, but you control your own mind and thoughts and feelings. You do! You can let go of obsessive thoughts and feelings and make healthier choices. Try the following:

Distance yourself from the object of your obsession, don’t go to places you know they are, don’t stop by their coffeeshop, etc. etc. If you’ve been stalking them on Facebook (which is sort of like an obsession machine in of itself), consider hiding or blocking them until you feel more clarity.
Don’t feed your obsessive thoughts.

Humans love being sad, or feeling sorry for ourselves- it is pleasurable to scratch that itch that makes us miserable. We also love being in love, and sometimes obsessive thoughts can feel like that, you can get a little shot of endorphin thinking about them. What if you see them today? Will they pursue you? Etc. But you do control your thoughts. Your thoughts are made by you. When you start thinking about the object of your obsession, try to let it go. Replace it. Have a thought or phrase handy ready to replace it, like a mantra. It can be something or nothing, it can be a nonsense phrase- just have something ready to reset your unhealthy thought cycle.

Distract yourself- with a new hobby, book, or activity. Go to the gym and concentrate on yourself. Don’t let idle thoughts go to the person.

Think of this as practicing good mental hygiene, keeping your brain clear- you’ll be amazed at how quickly you retrain your brain to stop dwelling on one person- and one day you’ll see them at the Trader Joe’s and be surprised at how ordinary and non-magical they seem! You’ll be more open to meeting people who like you back, and whom you can find something real with.

Marriage 101: Expectations Vs. Reality

May 24, 2017January 22, 2024 by RJ Newellin LOVE

Once upon a time, two newlywed lovers rode off into the sunset.

It was a perfect end to a perfect day: The Bride (wearing an off-beat vintage dress that totally said “I’m not like other brides”) took a celebratory swig from a flask in the passenger seat. Her Groom squinted like a sultry James Dean, driving toward the horizon with wind in his hair. The sexy beats of Arctic Monkeys accompanied them as they drove; they thought of the red-hot road trips they took when they had first been dating. This new beginning was just a continuation of a love that was already good.

The couple held hands and agreed: this was perfect, they were perfect, and the future was going to be perfect.

Being married wouldn’t change a thing, they swore. This was the happy ending they’d always wanted. Two lifetimes of buildup and anticipation, all those years of searching…everything led up to this moment.

Soooo…what now? Neither one knew for sure.

The Bride kept drinking her whiskey and the Groom kept playing the same songs on repeat and they tried to do the same things they did before the ceremony, before the proposal, before moving in.

It worked, for a while. But the sunset had to end sometime. What would they do in the morning?

Clouds moved in to cover the stars. The Bride and Groom were now Wife and Husband, and they tried their best not to mess things up.

“What do married people do?” they asked themselves. Both came up with their own answer, based on what they’d seen their parents, friends and TV couples do.

Wife made a nice dinner and set the table for Husband, because she heard she should prioritize quality time. Meanwhile, Husband picked up an extra evening shift at his job, because he heard he should save to buy nice things for Wife.

All it took was a phone call to disappoint them both. Gone were the days of long drives and free flying and throwing bouquets out the window. Now, he was a husband who worked long hours and she was a wife who ate pot roast alone.

“Why does he make me so sad?” She sighed. “This doesn’t seem like us.”

“Why does she make me so angry?” He groaned. “I thought that we would be different.”

She expected a date night; he chose a night with the boys. He expected they’d spend their day off at the beach; she preferred couples’ counseling. On and on and on it went.

One year later, this perfect pairing was dissatisfied in every way. Why?

Things weren’t really that bad, were they? He didn’t cheat, she didn’t lie, and neither one spent all their money. Plus, they were trying so hard! It didn’t make sense that they’d be so unhappy. Was marriage itself to blame?

True story: When my husband and I were married, we were convinced we’d never be like “other” couples. We felt like two single people who just happened to be getting married. “Nothing would change!” we vowed.

In five years, we imagined that of course we’d have romantic evenings of punk records and bourbon on the rocks. And in ten years, naturally we’d have the same careers and wear the same styles of clothing. And in twenty years, obviously we’d be the coolest parents/best friends/partners on Earth. Everyone would envy how non-traditional and happy and open we were. “Traditional” marriage was for the birds, we said!

These weren’t bad intentions at all. But eventually, our unconscious expectations of what should be threatened our conscious dreams of what could be. It took a great deal of listening on both sides to dissect the reasons why we expected the things that we did. And it was hard to admit that people weren’t lying when they warned us that marriage would change things.

Here’s where we went wrong: My expectations and his expectations did not match our collaborative goals. And the higher our expectations, the greater our potential for disappointment.

As much as we denied it, that piece of paper became more than ‘just a piece of paper’ the second we went beyond “I do” and claimed our “supposed tos” and “should.” And it’s okay. I believe that most couples go through this, at some point.

The first few years of committed cohabitation are specifically primed for chaos. The people you both were when you met will have changed by the time you walk down the aisle. And it’s often not until the glow wears off that you notice that anything’s changed. When that happens, it’s not necessarily bad. Just hang on. It takes love, patience and a sense of adventure to navigate what happens next.

I’d thought marriage would be just like dating, just with both of our names on a contract. I imagined we’d be the same people, forever. But that’s like saying “if I win millions in the lottery, I’ll still act like I do making $20,000 a year!” How silly.

When an event or person changes your life, your identity must be affected somehow. If this didn’t happen, no one would grow or evolve. We’d all still be raging toddlers, learning nothing and accomplishing nothing. But while change is a good thing, it’s stressful.

Sometimes opportunity feels like a crisis. Even something as wonderful as finding your soul mate can spark a personal breakdown. But the difference between a breakdown and breakthrough is the way you go about handling it. Change works in your favor, if you let it.

Expansion requires letting go of old limits, and this includes unrealistic expectations. And it’s not as scary as you might think. You can lower your expectations without compromising your standards.

It’s common for couples to articulate the same vision for their marriage, but display conflicting expectations through their actions down the road.

Nobody’s immune to unrealistic expectations, even the most non-traditional of couples. Overcoming this pattern is a challenge that can only make you better, together.

I’m grateful for all of it, now. Good and bad. We’ve been through a lot, and we’re stronger for it. We’re clear on what our relationship is and have chosen to accept and love it for what it is now, not what it “could” or “should” be down the road. At first, I thought letting go would mean accepting failure. But the results proved me wrong in the best way.

Now that we’ve stopped judging ourselves by old rules that don’t work, we’re free to meet the ideals we’d envisioned at the start! Our worst fears were never realized, once we learned to let go of them.

Love is not a perpetual ride into the sunset. Sometimes it’s two flat tires in a blizzard. And that’s fine! At least it’s not boring.

When that sunset ride ends and you run out of gas, get out of the car and push. Hold on to each other through the next morning, the next sunset, the next disaster and dream come true. Have faith in your future beginnings, because there will always be more.

P.S…Laugh, if you can. It helps.

Dancing With the Stars FINALE: The Last “Love” Meter Review

May 26, 2017January 22, 2024 by Kelley Lynnin LOVE

Well, kids. It’s been lots of fun writing up these “Love Meter Reviews” for this great dance show, on behalf of LOVETV. But this week, “Dancing With the Stars” came to an end, with an epic, 2-night conclusion including several dances, performances, clips, and the return of the whole crazy cast, back together again. In the end, amongst the 3 remaining couples, a winner was crowned and received the coveted (cheap) Mirror Ball Trophy prize. The 3 couples in the Finals were David and Lindsay, Normani and Val, and Rashad and Emma.

For the season, I have been judging and rating each couple on their chemistry from week to week with one another, using our official and scientific Love Meter sale (I made it up.) This week, however, since it was the finale and it’s special and grand, I have instead rated each couple and their chemistry throughout the season with the judges, and with the audience / fans. But before we break down each of the final three couples, let’s talk a bit about the Finale and the season itself.

This was a fun season, and host Tom Bergeron was his usual witty and wonderful self. (and I’m not just saying that so that his big Hollywood head will love it and he will retweet this review on his Twitter page. Okay, maybe that’s some of why I’m saying it. But it’s also TRUE!) Bergeron is by far, the funniest and most entertaining of all the TV hosts, and his partnering the past few seasons with Erin Andrews as co-host, has been very natural and lovely. Whereas former co-host Brooke Burke Charvey often looked as if she had been dropped off at the TV studio and was unsure why she was there, Andrews seems to fit right in, and her humor and sarcasm are a good match with Bergeron. So I’m giving this pair of co-hosts a PERFECT TEN for chemistry, and cuteness.

The show’s finale was filled with humor and fun as well, and some great dance numbers by the pro dancers and the stars themselves. One of the highlights in the humor department was a video segment about the strong “Bro-mance” between pro dancer Maks Chmirokovsky and “The Bachelor” Nick Viall. It showed them wearing t-shirts exclaiming their love for one another, sipping cocktails together, dancing cheek to cheek, and other hilarious things. On the Love Meter Scale for the season, I give Nick and Maks a score of “LADY GAGA BRO ROMANCE!!!!!”

The show was also filled with the return of other cast favorites, such as the frightening Charo, who performed a number playing guitar on a stool. Bergeron hilariously responded when it was over: “I’ve never seen a guitar look so scared before.” The awful dancer Chris Kattan, who was booted in episode one, returned and didn’t really do much except stand around. It looked like he was forced to be there via his contract. Bonner was there, looking hot as ever, and his nude chest looking even hotter. Mr. T was back, and took part in an embarassingly unfunny parody of “The A-Team”, that never should have left the editing room floor. Also included was a hilarious construction worker themed dance with Val and Normani, and also with Len and Bruno as construction workers on the sidelines. The best part, aside from watching Bruno get all freaky-like with his weird body movements on the dance floor, was afterwards, when Tom Bergeron said to Bruno: “I’ve wanted to do this all season long.” Then he held up the wooden score paddle, giving him a “4.” Bruno then removed his shirt and swung it at Tom, at which point Tom replaced his 4 with a 3. Hilarity ensued.
Now, onto the 3 Finalist couples ….

DAVID AND LINDSAY:

They have both connected hugely with the audience and the judges all season long. The proof of that is that David Ross is even IN the final three. He is pretty good, but he is in no way better than others that were voted off the show earlier, because they simply didn’t have the same fan support that David does. His Cubs team, Red Sox team, tons of celebrities, and fans all over the country just really really like this guy, and I’m one of them. He is a family man, down to earth, hilarious, and humble. And hes a hard worker. The judges love him too. Carrie Ann called him “the heart of the competition”, and even Bergeron called him “the pleasant surprise’ of this season.

LOVE METER SCORE with Judges: “R.E.S.P.E.C.T!!!! Find out what it means to me!” The judges had mad respect for David, and showed it each and every week .

LOVE METER SCORE with the Fans/Audience: To put it in baseball terms, “GRAND SLAM!!!” The fans love this guy. Period.

RASHAD AND EMMA:

Nobody, including Rashad himself, thought he would be in the finals, or that he would be THIS great of a dancer, but he is a natural. He also worked the hardest and longest of anyone else on the show this season, logging in 362 hours of practice time, which is over 100 more hours than any other star on the show. He wanted to win, he wanted to work hard, and he said that nothing in life has ever been handed to him before. He has worked for everything he has, and he wanted that Mirror Ball. Emma has never won either in 7 seasons, so it meant a lot to her as well to win this year. Their relationship with the judges was very fair and they seem to really love and know his work ethic. The fans got to know a different and softer and fun side to this NFL player, and they loved it. And him.

LOVE METER SCORE with Judges: Giving a score of “WORK IT, GIRL!” for his awesome work ethic and hard work.

LOVE METER SCORE with Fans/Audience: Let’s go with ice-cream. The fans love him like ice-cream. They see that ice-cream truck pulling up to their TV, and they just want more, more, more.

NORMANI AND VAL:

Because Normani has a shy and reserved personality, I think it took a while for the audience to warm up to her, and some never really did. She seemed aloof or stuck-up, but really, she was just sort of quiet and her personality came out shining more and more over the last few weeks. She said herself, she feels like she became a woman on this show, and she love that Val was able to “pull things” out of her. Val said it best when he said: “This show is about people, not dancing.’ Normani finally connected with the audience once they saw her vulnerable side, when she did the Contemporary Dance about being bullied when she was younger. The judges, on the other hand, have loved her from week one, calling her “born to do this”, and “brilliant.” She really impressed them on every level.

LOVE METER SCORE with Judges: ‘STUNNING!’ They were in awe of her.

LOVE METER SCORE with Fans/Audience: Giving a score of SEEDS AND PLANTS, because she took a while to grow on us, but now she’s beautiful and flourishing.

And now, the WINNERS of the show ………

RASHAD AND EMMA!!!!

Congrats to this awesome couple. I have never seen any pro dancer as happy and as shocked, as Emma was, upon winning. It was really sweet, and they totally deserved it. Their Freestyle Dance to a medley of Bruno Mars songs was EPIC, and Rashad was such a hard worker all season long, improving each week and becoming a very strong and natural dancer.

So, that’s the season, everyone! Hope you enjoyed our LOVE METER REVIEWS, as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them. We will see you next season, for more debouchery and shananigans. Hopefully, by then, Len will have had plenty of time to sleep, get his naps in, and be a lot less cranky. Nah. That’ll never happen.

Relationship Games and How to Break the Cycle: True Love Lessons with Sierra

May 26, 2017January 22, 2024 by Sierra Mercierin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Watch as Sierra Mercier and her husband Andre give us ‘True Love Lessons’…

Sierra and Andre discuss:

Relationship or dating games and some examples.
Tips on how to break the cycle.
Starting a long-term relationship with your partner.

Do you believe true love exist? I do.

I’m Sierra. My husband Andre and I were the first couple to win the Knot Dream Wedding.

Follow me as I share how I attracted True Love into my life.

I’ll share tips and stories that will help open your heart to all of love’s possibilities.

We’re going to share lots of love stories…

Don’t play games!

Sierra: Well, for a chance…

We’ve all been there before. Trying to play the games of relationships…

I am not going to call for three days. Otherwise, I can come too eager… No! Stop playing games.

Are you looking for a real, solid relationship? Let the person you’re interested in know right upfront. Examine what you want.

Scare someone away? They’re not the right person for you.

Here’s an example… For most of my dating life, I’m used to ‘go with the flow’ type. I’d start to like someone and think to myself, we’ll just see what happens. Go with the flow. Wrong!

After several instances, of these leading to disappointment, I decided: First, I was ready for a long-term relationship and second, I was going to let the next person I date know right upfront.

When I met Andre, the very first time he kissed me, I told him I was ready for a relationship. And if he wasn’t, that’s okay. We’ve make great friends.

Andre: That caught me a little off guard but I appreciated her honesty and I had a really good feeling about it. So, I said – alright, I’m ready for a relationship too.

Sierra: We were officially boyfriend and girlfriend one week later.

Saying what you want right from the get go will save you precious time, painful heartache and will lead out toads from the prince charmings.

Tune in next time for more True Love Lessons with Sierra…

Andre: …and Andre

Sierra: Love you.

Andre: Love you.

Same Sex Marriage Rights: Taiwan Leads in Asia

May 27, 2017January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin LOVE

Taiwan’s highest court paved the way Wednesday for Asia’s first law allowing same-sex marriage, a reflection of widespread support for LGBTQ causes that has sprung from three decades of democracy.

The Constitutional Court ruled that it is illegal to ban marriages between two people of the same sex and ordered parliament to change the civil code within two years to bring it in line with the constitution, a court official said. Today’s conditions are “in violation of both the people’s freedom of marriage … and the people’s right to equality,” the judiciary’s secretary-general, Lu Tai-lang, said.

About 200 jubilant supporters of same-sex marriage gathered outside parliament as the announcement was broadcast live from a news conference.

“It is a milestone for the LGBT movement in Taiwan,” the Taipei-based gay rights advocacy group Taiwan Tongzhi Hotline Assn. said in a statement.

Wednesday’s decision reflected Taiwan outlier status in Asia for tolerance on LGBTQ issues, but seems unlikely to inspire similar moves in the region anytime soon.

A large percentage of the public in Taiwan has accepted the idea of same-sex marriage because leaders have elevated liberal social causes to show the island’s democratic credentials in the face of China, a political rival that restricts free speech and association.

China regards Taiwan as a renegade province. The island has been independently administered since the communists took control in Beijing in 1949.

In Taiwan, people are nice to gays, so we feel safe here. … There’s pressure, but nothing like political repression or from schools.
— Jovi Wu, a Taipei saleswoman

“I think Taiwan’s freedom of speech gives it the best environment,” said Tsao Cheng-yi, a senior project manager with the Taiwan Tongzhi Hotline Assn. “Japan is conservative. South Korea has rightists and Christians. I think Taiwan has a chance to be the first place in Asia with a same-sex marriage law.”

While Japan and South Korea are also democracies, Japan has less of a sense of multiculturalism and South Korea is strongly influenced by Christian conservatives, creating impediments to same-sex marriage, said Jens Damm, associate professor in the Graduate Institute of Taiwan Studies at Chang Jung University in Taiwan.

Indonesia and Malaysia, because of the prevalence of Islam, would find little backing compared to Taiwan despite their democratic governments. Countries under authoritarian rule limit social activism, a common prerequisite for government attention to LGBTQ causes. Taiwan lifted martial law in the 1980s after decades of authoritarian rule.

Vietnam technically allowed same-sex marriage in 2015 but did not follow up with codes.

“Around the world, including in Asia, we see that the main impediments to marriage equality or LGBTQ rights more broadly are conservative religious doctrines and social mores, repressive political regimes that limit civil society organizing, and opportunistic politicians who stir up homophobia and transphobia as political tools,” said Jean Freedberg, deputy director of the American civil rights advocacy group HRC Global.

Gay and lesbian rights in Taiwan got their first boost in the 1990s, Damm said, when Taipei Mayor Chen Shui-bian spoke out for LGBTQ causes to help Taiwan stand out in Asia as an open society. Chen later pushed a socially liberal agenda as president from 2000 to 2008.

About two thirds of Taiwanese are Buddhists, and their religion does not prescribe rules on sexual orientation. About 5% are Christian.

Gay pride parades in Taipei every year draw thousands, with 80,000 people showing for the most recent one in another sign of acceptance. Many in their ranks have pushed for the same-sex marriage legislation. President Tsai Ing-wen, the first woman to lead Taiwan, endorses the legislation as well.

“In Taiwan, people are nice to gays, so we feel safe here,” said Jovi Wu, 36, a Taipei saleswoman who added that she would like to marry to share custody of her 4-year-old. “We don’t fear family and companies. There’s pressure, but nothing like political repression or from schools.”

Today, LGBTQ characters appear in films, on television and online. On the Internet, younger people especially are “proudly being themselves,” said Jay Lin, Taipei-based director of the Taiwan International Queer Film Festival.

That said, support for same-sex marriage is far from universal.

Opposition has become more evident since parliament took up the legislation in November. In December about 30,000 people showed for a demonstration in central Taipei opposing same-sex marriage.

Christian churches joined activists supporting traditional Chinese family values favoring households headed by one man and one woman. Some argued that the death of a same-sex spouse would leave the survivor dependent on government support because many same-sex couples would not have children to support them in old age, a common phenomenon in Chinese societies such as Taiwan.

Children in same-sex marriages would find it hard to form relations with the gender not represented by their parents, opponents have also argued.

The ruling Wednesday was sought by the city of Taipei, which asked the court for clarification on whether it could legally register same-sex couples. It will let legislators amend the civil code — or pass a whole new law — to make those unions legal throughout the island of 23 million people. Lawmakers gave initial approval in November, but had held off on a final vote until the justices made a decision.

Taiwan would join 20 countries around the world in allowing same-sex marriage, HRC said.

Curated by Timothy
Original Article

Why Speed Dating Is Working for Me Today

May 30, 2017January 22, 2024 by Jennifer Ashley Greenein DATING ADVICE, LOVE

About six months ago, I was hired to be a host at a speed dating event. As someone whose prior (and sole) experience involving speed dating was based on the movie Hitch (moment to swoon over the thought of Will Smith please), I was more than a little apprehensive when I agreed to take the job. Call me crazy but I just don’t love getting involved in things I don’t fully believe in. But it was a job and it paid, so I convinced myself to give it a shot. I figured if all else failed, it would make for an interesting story, and that was enough incentive for me.

As the event neared, and I had spoken in great length with the organizer (who lives out of state, hence hiring me to represent her business) I became even more skeptical. Here we had close to 30 participants registered, and then me, slated to run the whole thing, even though Will Smith hadn’t returned my calls and by the looks of it, wasn’t going to attend. Bummer. As prepared as I was to host the evening, I didn’t know what to expect.

A Delightful Dating Surprise

Cut to the event and the delightfully surprise ending it had. In the end, less people attended than had registered (I’m sure the pressure got to them, which I understand!) Yet of the people who were in attendance, these were some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. Everyone was so open to the idea of meeting someone, which led to some of the most genuine and kind conversations I’ve yet to witness. Also, as all participants were in the same boat as they arrived and no one really knew what to expect, it was really easy to find common ground and connect with each other.

The event turned out to be a pleasant surprise for several reasons. One, it went off without a hitch (see what I did there- Hitch?) and everyone really enjoyed themselves, so from an organizational standpoint, it was a success. Two, as we had more men than women registered, I was happy to chat with the extra man each round and make sure he felt comfortable. In doing so I found myself involved in really interesting conversations with some wonderful men. And three, it helped me to see that I truly had nothing to be skeptical about, and left me with a really great impression of speed dating. I’ve hosted two since, and will continue to host as it fits into my schedule.

Why Speed Dating Is Interesting to Me

Now, should I try it myself? Here’s why I think speed dating is a really interesting concept in today’s world. With technology as predominant as it is in every single facet of our lives (I just downloaded a meditation app this morning) we are ultimately trying to make the most of our time, right? I, for one, constantly find myself telling people “there’s an app for that”. Our time is so precious, and we’re all simultaneously trying to hold down a job (or two), maintain a fitness regime, a social life, run errands, prepare meals, etc. We have so much to do that meeting new people can become really daunting. After a day of working two jobs, fitting in a workout and going grocery shopping, I personally, just want to crash on the couch and binge watch Master of None.

Two Months of Dating in One Night

With speed dating, in one night I can realistically do two months worth of dating in one night. I don’t have to feel the guilt of “stacking” or “double booking” dates because the event is literally designed for that purpose. And there’s no pressure of sitting through an entire meal, worrying about who’s going to pay at the end, etc. I could very well go on 15 different dates; even if I connect with 2 of them, that’s great! I can still make it home for the 10 o’clock news! I didn’t have to make a plan, gather a group of girlfriends, research a good bar for singles and then spend a bunch of money only at the end of the night to discover that the night was a total bust.

It’s been a happy accident that I’ve been able to participate in the speed dating events as more than just a host, one that has even resulted in four dates (with three different guys). My experiences have totally changed my opinion on speed dating and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn’t tried it or has been holding out. Even if the “date” is going really poorly, it only lasts 5 minutes. And who knows, maybe the next guy to rotate in will be Will Smith. If you’re lucky!

Are You Using the Right Gender Identity Words to Describe Yourself and Others?

June 9, 2017January 22, 2024 by RJ Newellin LOVE

Happy LGBTQ Pride Month!

According to a recent survey, 20 percent of Millennials identify as LGBTQ. LoveTV is proud to celebrate love and conscious connection for all genders, orientations and partnership configurations!

How to talk about identity and sexual preferences without making things awkward.

“Hold on…what does gender have to do with love? For those of us who identify as pansexual, the answer is “not a whole lot!” But for the unaware, under-educated and/or totally confused among us, gender can be a tricky subject to discuss on first dates, family gatherings or intimate conversations. To avoid any future awkwardness, how about a quick vocabulary lesson?

Whether you’re looking to learn the basics or reaffirm what you know about yourself or your loved ones, welcome to the conversation. Let’s talk!

Gender Identity 101

Whether you’re exploring for yourself or someone else, the first step in understanding gender topics is familiarizing oneself with the appropriate language. Below are a few common terms to expand your gender vocabulary, with links to further exploration. Feel free to ask questions or share this with others.

Common Terms:

Sex: Regarded by many as the legal and/or medical category one’s genitals fall under. A baby born with a penis is considered legally male. A baby born with a vagina is medically categorized as female. A baby born with genitals not entirely ‘either-or’ is considered intersex. (Fun fact: intersex babies are nearly as common as redheads.)

Gender: Regarded by many as a cultural or social construct, which may or not match one’s legal “sex.” Your gender and sex may match, or they may not. Both may be subject to change.

Gender Identity: This term describes your inner sense of gender. Just as our given names may or may not suit us, our assigned gender may or may not match our identities. But unlike simply changing your name, gender identity is not a choice.

Cisgender: This word is used to describe an individual whose gender identity aligns with the gender assigned at birth. If you’re born with female genitalia, and identify as strictly female, you are considered a cisgender female.

Cisnormative: The assumption that all (or most) people are cisgender. This is a negative term, because regarding cisgender as ‘the norm’ excludes those who are not cisgender. Cisnormative thinking is faulty thinking because it assumes that non-cis people are somehow abnormal.

Nonbinary: Gender is not black or white, male or female, one or the other. To identify as nonbinary means to acknowledge that one falls somewhere on a spectrum, rather than “either-or.” Nonbinary individuals express their identities in diverse ways. This is more of an umbrella term, under which a number of more specific words exist. (See the resource links below for more information.)

Transgender: An individual whose identity does not match the gender assigned to them at birth. (For example, an individual who was born male, but self-identifies as female, is a Transgender woman – whether or not she goes through with surgical reassignment is a personal choice.) In speaking of and to a trans individual, it is important to refer to them according to their preferred gender pronoun, not the one they were born to/grew up with.

Gender Spectrum: Gender is a personal journey. Using the Gender Spectrum in referring to yourself or others is a great way to avoid binary thinking. If “male” is on one end of the spectrum, and “female” is on the other, many people fall somewhere in the middle. You may be closer to one end than the other, but it’s healthy to acknowledge the spectrum for what it is – a sliding scale of individual identity.

Gender Roles: Have you ever watched children play house? If the little girl bakes cookies while the little boy pretends to fix a toy car, they are acting out traditional (and utterly outdated) “roles” assigned to their gender. Reinforcing these stereotypes can be damaging to people of all identities. If the little boy would like to bake cookies while the little girl fixes the car, that’s great! They are simply behaving according to their personal needs and not worrying about ‘playing the part.’ People struggling with their true gender identities may perform assigned gender roles to hide. A more self-accepting individual may wish to disrupt the role they’ve been conditioned to play, if they feel it restricts their identity.

Gender Expression: The way one chooses to present their gender identity. Gender can be expressed in clothing, movement, makeup, speech, creative endeavors and more. Sometimes, gender expression is forced (see: Gender Roles). Other times, gender expression unfolds naturally as the individual grows up and evolves. How you express your gender may be different from your partner, and that’s great!

Gender Attribution: How others perceive one’s gender, from the outside looking in. If strangers perceive me as cisgender, but I identify as nonbinary, then they’re viewing me from a binary (cisnormative) perspective. Gender Attribution can present many problems for transgender individuals, especially before or during transition. Regardless of where one falls on the spectrum, Gender Attribution can be an issue. It’s important for allies (of all genders, cultures and groups) to be open to diversity in others.

Ally: The Queer Dictionary defines an Ally as “a person who is not a member of an oppressed group but who supports civil rights and social movements associated with the group. An ally acknowledges his or her position of relative privilege and uses that position to create change within the larger culture and society.

Allies are important, no matter where on the spectrum you lie. Whether you identify as cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, etc – you can be an ally to others. This list of common terms is only the beginning – let this be your conversation starter!

If you’d like more information on gender identity, LGBTQ rights and more, here are some helpful resources:

The Queer Dictionary
The Trever Project
GLAAD Resources

Do you have a resource to recommend? Please share in the comments, below. Additional comments, thoughts and personal stories are always welcome, too!