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7 Tips to Be the Best Lover He’s Ever Had

by zfortadminin Sex

Ladies, if you are serious about satisfying him better than ever before – listen up.

Men aren’t as complicated as they may seem at first. If you want to conquer him and make him go insane over you, you have to give him the best sex humanly possible. You have to give him more pleasure in bed than he got from all the other women he’s been with before you. The thing is that you don’t have to be the best in the world, you just have to better than other women he comes across with. And that’s not that hard, considering that the average woman is clueless when it comes to satisfying a guy completely.

I won’t tell you what you would like to hear, I’ll tell you what actually works, in real life. If you to hear fairy tales, you are free to leave, if you want results, read on.

1. Learn how to give proper blow jobs. Really, this is an almost mandatory skill that you have to master. If he ever got better oral from a woman before you, he’ll expect at least the same quality for you. Men rarely go backwards sexually and if he got amazing oral before, he’ll wish to continue getting it from you as well. Learn the art of oral sex and you’ll immediately be among the top 10% of women that know how to satisfy a man completely. A woman that’s great in bed but has no idea how to give proper oral is just considered as incomplete. It’s worth learning it.

2. Do what other women will not. That’s the second step. To truly satisfy your guy you have to be ready to do what other women find “disgusting” or “yukee”. Show total devotion. If you really like this guy there is nothing that can disgust you about him. Swallowing shouldn’t even be a question. Do all the kinky stuff you can imagine and let go sexually. If you are constantly thinking whether doing “this” or “that” will make him think that you are S-word (you know what), you’ll never end up being the best he could have. Let go and be free, have fun with him and make his satisfaction your satisfaction. Deny nothing. If he wants anal, do it, try it. Be open for new things.

3. Show total devotion by being more submissive. It is natural that men want to dominate in bed, so let him do it. Most men feel more manly if they can take control and have sex with you all around the house, take control over you and dominate you. Let him do this, be his “slave” and submit to him sexually, let him do ( and enjoy it ) anything he wants to do with you in bed. Be flexible and open about new things. Be open for learning new things and experimenting, but don’t force things, make things fun instead of forced.

4. Start talking “sex”, or “sexier”. The right words can be like magic. If you know what to say, when to say it and most importantly How to say it, your man will explode from pleasure instantly. Learn what makes him go nuts and tell the right things at the right moments. Nothing is more boring that a woman that makes no sound in bed and when we have to wonder whether she’s dead or not.

Be active in bed, flexible, let him move you around. Also – if you say the wrong things and are afraid you might sound stupid, you probably will end up sounding stupid. Be confident. If you believe in what you say, anything you say will sound good. That’s why it’s more important how you say it than what you say exactly. Talk dirty to him and Be “dirtier” in every way possible. Be his personal Porn Star and he’ll love you for it.

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Falling In Love: Best Things That Happen

by zfortadminin LOVE

Falling in love is awesome! More so, if it is your first.

Here are 20 of the best things that happen when you’re first falling in love with someone:

1. The way your skin prickles up every moment they’re around you.

2. The way you never quite get used to them touching you, so that when they grab your hand, your heart lurches (in the best way).

3. The way you can just catch them looking at you out of the corner of their eye and your body goes limp.

4. The way you can’t stop looking at them, as if all you want to do is create a new sense that allows you to properly take them in, because your eyes don’t do them justice.

5. The way the world around you completely dissipates, like you two exist in complete clarity, and everything else is a blur.

6. The way you look back and wonder how you lived your life before them, and how there was a vacant space in the shape of them that happened to be open the moment you met them.

7. The way you fall asleep together in those first love-hazed months, all tangled into one being, feeling safe and loved in a way you couldn’t have even dreamt up.

8. The way their fingertips seem to hold the nerve endings to your skin.

9. The way they smell – no matter what time or day – and how you want to bottle them up.

10. The way they’ll leave an item of clothing behind and you’ll smell it throughout the day, momentarily forgetting that this is kind of creepy.

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How to Spice Up Your SEX Life

by zfortadminin Sex

This advice about spicing up your SEX life is from an expert on this field (Gloria Brame, Ph.D.). Answer your questions by reading through this article.

My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile. Our sex life has always been good, but lately it feels more like a routine than something we look forward to. What are some new and creative ways we can spice up our sex life and make things exciting in the bedroom again?

Sooner or later, even the most passionate couples go through phases when the sparkle seems to vanish from their love life. Those exciting new things you did together are now things you’ve done dozens of times. You find yourself having sex in the same old way, saying and doing the same old things and usually in the same old place too.

As a sex therapist, I can tell you that couples who use these lulls to experiment with new ways of having sex end up happy. And those who let these periods create a rift in their intimacy—by not dealing with it or playing the blame game—end up being ex-couples. So, for the sake of your sexual pleasure and the health of your relationship, my advice is that you view this as an opportunity to try new things rather than a stumbling block in an otherwise good relationship.

Here’s a hot list of five of the best ways for couples to break out of the bedroom blahs and spice up your sex life.

1. Do it in another place. Oddly enough, sometimes just changing the place where you have sex wakes you up from the sexual doldrums. If you always (or only) do it in bed, next time try it on the living room floor or on top of the kitchen table. If privacy is an issue, try a shower-for-two—the running water will muffle your moans. If you enjoy the outdoors, grab a tent and find a quiet spot where you can make love under starry skies. Add a dose of spontaneity (grab him by surprise when he walks through the door and have your way with him then and there) and it’s sure to liven things up.

2. Do it in a different way. How many different positions have you tried? You can pick up a guide to sex positions and try them with your boyfriend. The Kama Sutra lists scores of positions—some may leave you laughing, but you might find a handful that absolutely bliss you out. You could also read up on tantric sex, which focuses on techniques to slow sex down, how to enhance orgasm and how to savor every moment of sexual contact. Of course, you could just come up with your own positions. Try propping pillows under your hips for a better angle of penetration; make love side by side or standing up; have him sit in a rocking chair and lower yourself onto him gently, then let the chair rock you to orgasm.

3. Do special sensual things. A lot of people define sex as intercourse and oral sex and leave very little time for all the relaxing, intimate fun lovers can enjoy together, in and out of bed. Do you give each other massages or foot rubs? Have you fed each other chocolate in bed or sipped wine from the same glass? Has he ever run a rose petal over your body? Have you ever scrubbed his back in the tub? Maybe he could give you a pedicure. Sensual intimacies like these will wake up your passion in a hurry!

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12 SEX Tales in the Digital Age

by zfortadminin Sex

Here are 12 first person stories about the often hilarious, sometimes tragic, and often triumphant ways that technology has changed our sex lives.

Enjoy.

“Talk Sex” Skyping

I have long been a purveyor of private email filth. It’s a natural extension of the age that dawned during my college days, when people started writing email all the time about everything; of course messages to people I had sex with might include sexy content. I did think about hacking, but the worst-case scenario didn’t seem that bad: Someone would find out I write pretty good email filth.

But I never took or sent pictures. I pledged an even more adamant hell no when it came to video. So when a meandering video-chat at an early point in a relationship in 2011 turned heavily suggestive, I had my concerns.

The connection wasn’t secure. I wouldn’t know how to get a secure one, and let’s be clear, I have no idea what that even means. But my boyfriend lived in France, and though we’d met in person only three times, we were already in love, goddammit. Without video, we wouldn’t have seen each other for months at a stretch. We became a couple over video. Video was our relationship. As our relationship didn’t exist without video, neither would our sex life.

So there we were, that first time, wearing clothes—and then not. And then there we were on the regular, all our pieces and parts, our looks and sounds and moves, on display. Until one day, mid-act, the screen froze. I froze too. “What was that?” I asked, my heart racing (faster). “Did your screen freeze too? What was that clicking?” We paused, vulnerable. We discussed possibilities. Could someone be … tapping in?

Ultimately we continued on like nobody was watching. As with dancing, it’s really the only way to have Skype sex.

I still wonder sometimes whether an Estonian software engineer or NSA agent somewhere has a recording. If it ever got out, it would be an unspeakable defilement. I would start throwing up and never stop. But love is about taking chances. Currently those include a chance that I may someday have to run away to a country with less puritanism and worse Internet access. But we did it because the pros outweighed the (possibly imaginary) cons. If I ever have to go into Internet exile, I will know that intimacy-enabling technology got me a dream husband who’ll come along.
—MAC MCCLELLAND

The Fitbit Breakup

Ted* and I laughed all the time together. We laughed when I lay on top of him and made our naked bodies touch as much as possible—our noses, our lips, our kneecaps, our palms, our big toes. We laughed when we walked from Tribeca to the Upper East Side to log steps on his Fitbit after three days of eating tiramisu in bed—only to find out he wasn’t wearing his Fitbit.

For Christmas, Ted’s mom had given her kids Fitbits and connected scales. I’d set Ted’s scale up for us. He could step on it and, given his weight (about 165 pounds), it would identify him and send his data to his Fitbit profile. And when I stepped on the scale, the technology knew it was me (about 135 pounds). Each person’s info was inaccessible to other users of the scale.

It wasn’t all laughs: We’d broken up a couple of times, then quickly gotten back together. But after our latest drunken fight, I’d texted, We’re done. The next morning I woke up wondering what Ted had texted back. But there was no text. I decided to wait two more hours. He’d call. I lay staring at the ceiling. Four hours later, still nothing. I wasn’t going to reach out. He was the one who owed me an apology. I’d give him another hour.

He didn’t text. I rented a movie. And then another. Then I ordered food. I spent all day in my apartment, waiting, watching movies, checking my phone. Around 10 pm I turned off the TV, sat down at my desk, and opened my laptop. I clicked around my bookmarks—the Daily Mail for photos of celebrities I’d never heard of, Food 52 for photos of cobblers I’d never make, Fitbit for goals I’d make but never maintain.

But the number next to my profile read 126.6 pounds, logged at 9 pm. Hmm. I was pretty sure I was 136.6 yesterday. But I’d weighed myself around 9 am. 126.6 at 9 pm … today? That was an hour ago! Had the synchronizing gotten screwy? And then suddenly I imagined the naked backside of a 126.6-pound woman standing on the scale at the foot of Ted’s bed, and I realized: He wasn’t going to text, he wasn’t going to call, he wasn’t going to apologize.
—­BREE MORTIMER

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5 Ways Good Men Transformed Me Into a Better Woman

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

I adore men. I just adore them. But my relationship to the opposite sex wasn’t always so positive.

“I love you. Will you validate me? No? Screw you, asshole.” That’s how my relationships worked. I was hungry for love and validation, trying to get them from men who had nothing to give because they were also hungry.

Then I discovered that there are men who are already full. They’re overflowing with love and compassion for themselves so they’re able to be generous.

In my work as a connection and intimacy coach, I’ve had the pleasure of guiding countless men to show up more fully for themselves and their partners. I’ve seen that at every man’s core, under the defenses he uses to keep himself safe, lays a shining gem waiting to be uncovered and polished.

So for all the men out there, here’s some inspiration. The following are five ways good men have made me a better woman.

1. He knew I was real

Don’t we often go through life putting on facades, crafting our image to resemble people we think we should be like?

We hide our car selves, our bathroom selves, our alone selves, our smells and tastes. We don’t show how human we are.

We hide our sensitivity, how deeply affected we are. To admit that we need slowness, that we need to talk about that thing again because we’re still hurt, that we’re stuck and we don’t know how to fix it… To admit these things is so risky.

We’re afraid our humanness is unlovable.

A man once told me that perfection isn’t actually relatable. Because we all know our own imperfection so well, perfection in anyone else is alienating.

Another man who loved his own imperfection pleaded with me to show him mine. I put on my show for him—my new outfit, my pedicure, my perfect hair. He hardly noticed those things because he only cared about how he felt in my presence. The polished pop song didn’t touch his soul quite like the stripped down acoustic version.

He loved me to my core for no apparent reason. All of the fancy tricks I thought made me lovable barely blipped on his radar. Finally, I began to feel my own intrinsic worth.

2. He knew I was good

I spent much of my life at odds with men. I’d tiptoe around my desires, bracing for men to disapprove, to accuse me of trying to “get mine” at their expense. They’d felt taken advantage of by women and were on the defensive. It was hard to be myself with these men. I was treated as if I were harmful and that projection made its way into my identity.

Then I met a man who just knew I was good. If I hurt him, he’d assume I’d only done so out of pain or fear, never malice. He was able to see me this way because of how he treated himself: he knew he was good and he was compassionate with himself when he made his own mistakes.

Whatever we put our attention on grows, and this man’s attention on the good in me watered that seed. It isn’t that I needed someone else’s love in order to love myself. I’d just never had such a clear example of how to love oneself or anyone else.

3. He was just as self-conscious as I was

I’d always been self-conscious about my body and my sexuality. As I began to do work in the area of relationships and sex, I began to realize this was common among women. I began to see it as a woman thing—a thing we’d support each other in and normalize by comparing stories.

But one day a man let me see that it was a man thing too. He told me he was insecure about his body, that he felt it didn’t measure up to other men’s bodies. He told me he wasn’t always in the mood for sex the way he’d been taught that “real men” were. He revealed the pressure he felt to be confident about his body and have an insatiable sexual appetite; he’d learned his masculinity depended on it.

No man had ever shown me his self-consciousness in this way. A part of me that I’d thought no man could ever understand finally felt known.

4. He told me our sex didn’t feel connected

The first time a man told me our sex didn’t feel connected, I thought I would die. I figured since I was a hot girl willing to have sex with him, I’d obviously done my part and how dare he have any sort of standards beyond that? But he wanted connected sex and I had walls up. Our sex was draining for him because he could feel me performing. He made it clear that he only wanted the real me and that he wasn’t interested in the contrived version. For a woman who’d spent her whole life thinking she had to be something other than who she was, that was a big deal.

Years later, my boyfriend and I lightheartedly talk about whether our sex feels connected. If it does, great! If it doesn’t, we take it as an opportunity to find a new point of connection.

5. He would settle for nothing less than all-in.

Before meeting him, I’d always held back most of my love. I’d feared that no one would ever match my devotion so I’d never felt safe to reveal how deeply I wanted to be connected.

Our relationship started no differently, with each of us trying to prove that we were the one who wanted less. He tried to tell me it wouldn’t work this way, that it was too painful for him, but he couldn’t say what he knew he wanted: to be all-in. I interpreted his doubt as evidence that he didn’t want what I wanted, that no one ever would. We both felt hopeless. Hurt and discouraged, he broke up with me.

Months later he mustered the courage to reveal everything. He told me it hurt that we’d been hedging our bets, that we weren’t 100% invested, that we had let fear drive us.

He told me he simply couldn’t settle for less than all-in from me.

In all my life, no man had ever had the courage to ask so much of me. For the first time, I finally felt safe to let all my love out.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Why This Generation is Losing the Ability to Be In Love

by zfortadminin LOVE

Ever wonder what our generation will be known for in the decades to come? I ponder the question regularly.

There are so many great things we could be remembered for, but if history has taught us anything, it’s the negative that tends to last the test of time, not the positive.

My greatest worry is our generation will be looked at as the generation that gave up on love. We date for the sake of dating. The generation that forgot how to love — which is ridiculous. Most people have never had a good understanding of love, just a poor interpretation of it.

Generation-Y seems to be the first generation moving away from conventional takes on romantic, loving relationships.

The only question that remains is whether we’ll be remembered for being the first generation to accept a more logical and rational take on love or the generation that gave up on it altogether.

I guess you’ll be the one to decide.

1. We care more about instant gratification than we do anything else.

The most common trend amongst Generation-Yers is our need for instant gratification. We grew up and continue to thrive in a culture that allows us instant access to just about anything.

If we want food, we have it delivered with the click of a few buttons or we walk a block or two and grab dinner. If we are bored, we have endless distractions in the form of phone apps. If we need directions or a question answered, it only takes us a couple of seconds.

Such convenience is entirely a modern-day perk — previous generations never experienced anything even remotely close to it.

The problem is instant gratification is addicting and often becomes a habit, a habit that tends to seep into our love lives.

Love isn’t meant to be experienced in an instance, but in a lifetime.

2. We’ve built a culture driven by drugs and booze.

This goes hand in hand with our culture’s need for instant gratification. Drugs and booze are the most common form of self-medication.

When we feel sad or unhappy, we go out for drinks. When we’re stressed or unable to handle our lives, we may turn to more intense substances. Of course, not everyone drinks alcohol and/or does drugs, but it is a trend among our generation.

Drugs and alcohol often end up being love’s worst enemy. These substances give us the illusion of an alternate reality — a reality in which our emotions are heightened, and the love we experience becomes exponentially intense.

Unfortunately, all this does is confuse us, making us believe love is little more than the feelings we experience. Nothing could be further from the truth.

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Tantra: Much More Than Crazy Sex Positions

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

What is Tantra? “What happens for me when the heart and sexual energy come together?”

This was the fifth time I had done the workshop. I was lying on the floor, on my back. There was a bit of verbal guidance while my partner applied slow pressure to my legs. Eventually, she came up to my lower belly where she placed her hands. After a couple minutes, she put her chest on my lower belly/genital area.

“What happens for me when the heart and sexual energy come together?” That is, “What is the relationship between these two energies in me?” This was the question I was opening to in this moment (so, too, my partner).

As I had done the workshop numerous times, I’d had many human hearts touching this area, the doorway to my sexual energy. There was soft, simple music in the background. The meditation was guided such that everyone would come to this point of the meditation at around the same time.

My partner gently put her chest on my lower belly and left it there for a few moments. All of a sudden, my eyes popped wide open as I felt surges of energy rushing through my body. A pure, sweet, super alive and intense feeling writhed from the point of contact and opened up into my body. It was as if I was getting injected with a pure, sweet, powerful nectar — the nectar of life.

It happened a few more times during the course of a few weeks at that workshop. That was two years ago. I’ve had similar experiences spontaneously in the past year, but even more intense and without any precipitating outer, physical stimulation (just alone in a parking lot or in my room).

What to exactly make of these experiences, I don’t really know. There isn’t a framework for it that I grew up with; I was raised in Texas in a conservative, fundamentalist, Korean Southern Baptist church. But it all makes sense within the context of Tantric philosophy and practice.

In the West, the word Tantra has come to denote deep, mystical sex, 20-minute orgasms or creatively contorted coital positions. This association between Tantra and sex and orgasm, misses so much of the basic essence of Tantric practice and philosophy, and I hope to clear some of the confusion in this article.

Let me just say here that I am no expert on Tantra, nor do I practice it in any formal way (the workshop mentioned above was not officially a Tantric workshop). Those who know and have studied Tantra may have more to say about its ins and outs, but I’m not going for a technical explication of Tantra here.

I’m offering my perspective, which comes from my experience. I’ve been immersed in spiritual teachings, been an avid meditator and yoga practitioner, travelled through India and have dabbled in a variety of different spiritual modalities for the past five years.

I’ve also studied psychology for over a decade, and have a master’s degree in counseling from a school that is based in Eastern philosophy and spirituality, the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS). The workshop (which I’ll get more into later) was actually a class I took in graduate school.
Recently, I lived with a Tantrica (a Tantric yogi or practitioner), and it became clear to me that a lot of things I had come to realize on my path directly correlated with Tantric philosophy — at least in how she held it. This realization led me to write this article.

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10 Tough Love Advice From Marriage Therapists

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

A marriage therapist’s job is to listen to couples’ frustrations and try to help each spouse work through his or her issues. Sometimes, that requires doling out some tough love, hard-to-hear advice.

Below, 10 marriage therapists share the most blunt — but constructive! — piece of advice they’ve ever given a couple during a session.

“A couple had struggled for a long time with the following stubborn pattern: their arguments started innocently over minor things. Despite the couple’s best efforts, the tension escalated until the man was raging at his wife, leaving her afraid and ashamed. Then she would regain her courage and wall herself off from her husband, freezing him out. The wife’s frustration and hurt had grown to the point that she was just about ready to leave their 22-year marriage when I suggested the following: The husband wrote out five checks of incrementally increasing amounts to a cause he despised (in this case, the Republican Party). The couple agreed that the wife would send in the first check for $10 if he raged at her once, the second check for $20 if he raged again and so on and so forth. The raging stopped. The wife held onto the checks for years but they were never sent in! ” — Bonnie Ray Kennan, marriage and family therapist

“In my 35 years as a therapist, I have discovered that when one or both people have significant individual problems (an affair, depression or substance abuse, for example), we need to meet individually and straighten it out before I can really focus on the couple’s problems. I tell the spouses, ‘To begin marriage counseling without going through this process will be a waste of time, money and energy on the part of everyone.’ It simply isn’t possible to try to deal with major personal issues, and say, an affair, at the same time. Once both of partners are in a better place individually, we can began to tackle and hopefully resolve the relationship problems together.” — Beatty Cohan, psychotherapist, author of For Better, for Worse, Forever: Discover the Path to Lasting Love

“Couples all too often get caught up in the conflict and being right and lose sight of the triggering issue. When this happens, I tell them, ‘Give up on being right. Recognize this does not make you wrong! Do not deny your partner’s perspective to avoid being wrong. Be a good partner by validating his experience and understanding why he felt hurt. Give up on being right and focus on your partner and the relationship. Work on being connected instead of being right.'” — Anne Crowley, psychologist

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Breaking Up – Listen to Your Hurt

by Alexandra Norrisin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Do you need to hear this right now?

Breakups are the time when song lyrics often hold the most weight. It’s when we are shattered open, but also melodramatic enough that a song can “get” just what we are feeling, whether or not the intended meaning matches with our experience at all. Sometimes a song’s original meaning is much deeper than having our hearts ripped out, and other times, it’s just a bit of fluff, but one that we cling to as it shepherds us into to moving on. Below are some of the best break up songs.

Artist: Miike Snow
Song: Animal

There was a time when my world
Was filled with darkness , darkness , darkness
Then I stopped dreaming now
I’m supposed to fill it up with something , something , something

The opening hook brightly bursts in and deftly illustrates the mantra for the early stages of a breakup, when you feel most broken and empty, and have to remind yourself there is life outside of this relationship and figure out the parts worth holding onto. I repeated this to myself during the “housekeeping” phase of my last major breakup. That’s the part when you need to remain calm and tie up the loose ends like adults, restraining your bubbling rage which masks your hurt, which hides away your desire to be close to them, further clouding the dysfunction which is the painful root leading you to this song.

Artist: Drake
Song: Hold On, We’re Going Home

I got my eyes on you
You’re everything that I see
I want your high love and emotion endlessly
I can’t get over you
You left your mark on me
I want your high love and emotion endlessly

This song is for wandering around aimlessly at night while weeping to yourself. I preferred it as my drive-home music for whatever social event I could not fully engage with but tried to use as a distraction and be human. Powerful stuff, Mr Graham.

 

Artist: For the Mathematics
Song: A Versus

Ahh, this one is a deep cut. It takes me way back. Full disclosure, this was the band I toured with as their road manager around the same time I had my first “adult” relationship. I remember being picked up by the band in their converted airport shuttle retro-fitted into a mini-tour bus. It was the first moment of confusion in the early stages of our courtship. I hadn’t eaten all day, and after arriving home from day-job work, had started drinking a Smirnoff Ice like the cultured 20 year old I was, while waiting to be picked up for our next mini-tour date. That’s all it took. When they arrived to collect me, I recall a dramatic overture, questioning the very confused and exclusively male team as to why men are so hard to understand; before promptly dropping myself on the floor of the bus, leaned against one of their protruding knees, and immediately being reminded how fun it was being with my best friends, joking around on our way to a show. I was, more importantly, reminded how fulfilling it was contributing to their development as a group. It was the most supported I had ever felt and we often described it as a 6-way platonic marriage. When the relationship did finally run it’s course, my generous mother asked if I could turn this song down a bit. When I quietly protested, she turned it full volume, and allowed me absorb the song’s healing power while I wept cathartically in the passenger seat of her car, and was reminded by this song of how I still had value. I belonged to something beautiful. I never quite understood the lyrics to any of their music, but the wall of intricate and powerful sound hit me right where I needed it.

Artist:Parlovr
Song(s): Three Songs in A Tunnel

This video helped me through the first break-up in which I had lived with somebody. In the wake of the devastation, my brother had driven up to collect me from my hometown and delivered me to my family for recovery. I cocooned inside their guest room and binge watched episodes of the UK series The Green Wing; until my high school best friend collected me and we went to see Parlovr play a live show. The drummer had been a friend of mine back when I was running a small magazine and I had a tiny secret crush on one of the other members for years. At this show, I came out of my cocoon as the friend and I engaged in a thrilling discussion of everything and nothing and my friend turned to me discreetly and said “I don’t know what the situation here is, but he is INTO you” whatever it was, I felt lit up and had a joy come out from inside for the first time in many moons. To be flirted with by someone so charismatic, clever and charming, whom I had secretly carried a torch for, was the best medicine. I watched this video of the band performing in their beautiful city of Montreal for a pick-me-up whenever my emotions threaten to delve back into a case of the “why-me”s.

 

Artist: Madonna
Song: Hung Up

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait
No time to hesitate
Those who run seem to have all the fun
I’m caught up
I don’t know what to do.

Oh this; this old classic is the triumphant rejection of holding on. The antithesis of Drake’s crooning. You are fed up, you’re ready to move on and walk away. You are not staring at your phone, you are Getting. Your. Life! Listen on repeat when you are fed up and ready for pure freedom to bubble through you.

Artist: Santigold
Song: Disparate Youth

Don’t look ahead, there’s stormy weather
Another roadblock in our way
But if we go, we go together
Our hands are tied here if we stay

This can apply to a new love, but I prefer to direct it inward, to myself. After years of loving this, I just properly read the lyrics and I could write them all out for you because they are quite profound and applicable to this entire experience, but this intro is enough to get you started. Now you are free, this is you get up and go. I used this video, quite literally, to get myself out of bed while on a particularly arduous month long festival in the UK. I loved the work, but it was a mental challenge that required a shot of adrenaline to get moving. If there was ever anything I could recommend to set yourself flying out into the night, it is this.

Can you relate to the songs above?

The Mathematics of LOVE

by zfortadminin LOVE
hannah fry
Hannah Fry: The Mathematics of Love

Finding the right mate is no cakewalk — but is it even mathematically likely? In a charming talk, mathematician Hannah Fry shows patterns in how we look for love, and gives her top three tips (verified by math!) for finding that special someone.

Curated by Karinna
Original Video

Dating a Normal Guy

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

What it’s like to date a normal guy for once? Yes, Chloe thinks she’s found a normal guy.

When I woke up the next morning, I was in my own bed. Carter was next to me, stretched out on top of the covers, jeans on, a pillow squashed underneath his head. I rolled over carefully and did a self-assessment.

Foul taste in my mouth? Yep.

A little sweaty underneath the hot blankets? Oh yeah.

Knot in my stomach? Gone.

Shame of my actions? Nonexistent.

Hmmm. I felt brave enough to prop up on my elbows and look around. I was pretty certain, given his full dress and … I peeked under the covers … my own jeans and top, that we didn’t have sex. Or get even close to it, sadly. I closed my eyes and tried to remember more. The memory came fuzzy through the grip of a headache.

I’d told Carter about me and Vic. Then, I’d vomited. Apologized while … crawling to the bathroom? I winced and the man next to me rolled over. Opened his eyes and saw me, looking at him.

“Chloe.” He sat up and rubbed his face. “Good morning.”

“I slept with Vic. In Joey Plazen’s trailer.” It was like my vomit from last night. It wouldn’t stop repeatedly coming out.

He smiled. “Yes. I know. You mentioned that, several times, last night.”

“And you’re OK with that?”

He shrugged. “It’s over. Right?”

Was it over? I smiled and nodded. “Yes. Definitely.” The words sounded much more sure that I was. I was sure that I wanted it to be over. What I wasn’t as confident about was if it actually was over.

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12 Facts Most Doctors Don’t Tell You About Sexual Health

by zfortadminin Sex

Every year, millions of women give up or drastically compromise their expectations of having enjoyable, fun, satisfying sex ever again.

Even if these women are among the majority who actually dare to discuss sexual issues with their doctors, they are often left without productive answers about their lack of libido, lack of orgasms, and lack of pleasure.

The truth is, even otherwise fabulous doctors are not experts on the physical, hormonal and medical aspects of maintaining peak sexual health … and pleasure! All women who are experiencing physical and/or hormonal issues related to sexual function — menopause, incontinence, chronic lack of sleep — as well as those with medical conditions including heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and more, still can elevate their sexual awareness and health.

And, the good news is you don’t even need to don those attractive paper gowns or put your heels into stirrups.

Here are 12 examples of important facts about sexual health that your doctor has probably not mentioned:

1. A headache during an orgasm may indicate a serious problem.

You probably mentioned your bad headache to your doc. But did you neglect to mention that, oh, by the way, that headache happened simultaneous with an orgasm? If so, that’s something you want to check out sooner rather than later. Patients with a sub-arachnoid hemorrhage report that a severe headache at the time of climax was their first indication of a serious problem.

2. Diabetes may affect your ability to have an orgasm.

Your doctor asked about numbness in your feet, but not in your clitoris. According to a recent study, there is a likely correlation between diabetes and sexual dysfunction in women; this might have to do with decreased sensation in the clitoris from common vascular or neurologic changes.

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These Words From Einstein Will Change Your Relationship to LOVE

by zfortadminin LOVE

While this piece is controversial and might not be factual — What if Einstein really wrote this about love?

In the late 1980s, Lieserl, the daughter of the famous genius, donated 1,400 letters, written by Einstein, to the Hebrew University, with orders not to publish their contents until two decades after his death. This is one of them, for Lieserl Einstein.

“When I proposed the theory of relativity, very few understood me, and what I will reveal now to transmit to mankind will also collide with the misunderstanding and prejudice in the world.

I ask you to guard the letters as long as necessary, years, decades, until society is advanced enough to accept what I will explain below.

There is an extremely powerful force that, so far, science has not found a formal explanation to. It is a force that includes and governs all others, and is even behind any phenomenon operating in the universe and has not yet been identified by us. This universal force is LOVE.

When scientists looked for a unified theory of the universe they forgot the most powerful unseen force. Love is Light, that enlightens those who give and receive it. Love is gravity, because it makes some people feel attracted to others. Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have, and allows humanity not to be extinguished in their blind selfishness. Love unfolds and reveals. For love we live and die. Love is God and God is Love.

This force explains everything and gives meaning to life. This is the variable that we have ignored for too long, maybe because we are afraid of love because it is the only energy in the universe that man has not learned to drive at will.

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True Love Can Overcome ANYTHING

by Robin Tranin LOVE

Is true love more romantic than soulmate? I never knew what unconditional love was until I met her, but it didn’t come right away.  For most of my life, I considered “true love” to be the day you meet your “soulmate.”

When I came out as a transgender woman this year, I had no idea how my girlfriend would react to it.  I knew that I was potentially throwing my relationship away to be myself.  She is my everything, and coming out to her was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I never knew what unconditional love was until I met her, but it didn’t come right away.  For most of my life, I considered “true love” to be the day you meet your “soulmate.”  When she and I began dating, I felt a level of comfort and camaraderie that I’d never felt before, but it wasn’t the familiar feeling of turmoil that I’d always experienced in my past relationships.  Due to my dating history, my only frame of reference was to associate emotional pain with love.  I figured that she couldn’t be my soulmate.  I was too happy for this to be love.

As time went on, I let my guard down and allowed myself to open up to her.  We were so compatible.  Conversations came so easily.  We never got bored with one another.  We’d spend all our free time together and it still wasn’t enough.  It wasn’t long until we moved in together.  And in less than a year after meeting her, we said “I love you” to each other.

But our relationship didn’t come without fights, arguments, and disagreements.  We’ve had to partake in uncomfortable conversations where we set boundaries and spoke our truths, something that I’d always been afraid to do with my previous partners, and the feeling was mutual for her.  We felt like it was more important to endure a small amount of discomfort and anger in order to preserve our relationship in the long-run and minimize the chances of future resentment.

I agreed to meet her family, something I couldn’t fathom doing with my other partners, because I would’ve been too worried about what they thought of me.  But while meeting her parents, I wasn’t nervous about making a good impression because my initial concern was to make her comfortable.  She was my priority.  Our relationship was my priority.  My potential discomfort just seemed to pale in comparison.

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