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How to Spice Up Your SEX Life

This advice about spicing up your SEX life is from an expert on this field (Gloria Brame, Ph.D.). Answer your questions by reading through this article.

My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile. Our sex life has always been good, but lately it feels more like a routine than something we look forward to. What are some new and creative ways we can spice up our sex life and make things exciting in the bedroom again?

Sooner or later, even the most passionate couples go through phases when the sparkle seems to vanish from their love life. Those exciting new things you did together are now things you’ve done dozens of times. You find yourself having sex in the same old way, saying and doing the same old things and usually in the same old place too.

As a sex therapist, I can tell you that couples who use these lulls to experiment with new ways of having sex end up happy. And those who let these periods create a rift in their intimacy—by not dealing with it or playing the blame game—end up being ex-couples. So, for the sake of your sexual pleasure and the health of your relationship, my advice is that you view this as an opportunity to try new things rather than a stumbling block in an otherwise good relationship.

Here’s a hot list of five of the best ways for couples to break out of the bedroom blahs and spice up your sex life.

1. Do it in another place. Oddly enough, sometimes just changing the place where you have sex wakes you up from the sexual doldrums. If you always (or only) do it in bed, next time try it on the living room floor or on top of the kitchen table. If privacy is an issue, try a shower-for-two—the running water will muffle your moans. If you enjoy the outdoors, grab a tent and find a quiet spot where you can make love under starry skies. Add a dose of spontaneity (grab him by surprise when he walks through the door and have your way with him then and there) and it’s sure to liven things up.

2. Do it in a different way. How many different positions have you tried? You can pick up a guide to sex positions and try them with your boyfriend. The Kama Sutra lists scores of positions—some may leave you laughing, but you might find a handful that absolutely bliss you out. You could also read up on tantric sex, which focuses on techniques to slow sex down, how to enhance orgasm and how to savor every moment of sexual contact. Of course, you could just come up with your own positions. Try propping pillows under your hips for a better angle of penetration; make love side by side or standing up; have him sit in a rocking chair and lower yourself onto him gently, then let the chair rock you to orgasm.

3. Do special sensual things. A lot of people define sex as intercourse and oral sex and leave very little time for all the relaxing, intimate fun lovers can enjoy together, in and out of bed. Do you give each other massages or foot rubs? Have you fed each other chocolate in bed or sipped wine from the same glass? Has he ever run a rose petal over your body? Have you ever scrubbed his back in the tub? Maybe he could give you a pedicure. Sensual intimacies like these will wake up your passion in a hurry!