Blog - Page 24 of 89 - Love TV

Blog

She Desires You

by zfortadminin Sex

A Woman’s Empowered Sex Drive

Myths die hard.  There are a number of old myths about female sexual desire: women don’t value sex, women are less sexual than men, predictable orgasm is the key to desire, since men have more testosterone they have more desire, etc.. In addition, new myths have cropped up in recent years: the key to female desire is erotic fantasy and playing sexual games, achieving G spot orgasms will build desire, scientists will find a medication to ensure reliable desire, the solution is finding a new partner each year, etc. Myths make for dramatic bar talk and media hype; it creates a lot of heat, but little illumination or understanding.

What is scientifically true and what relevant guidelines promote female sexual desire? The new mantra in couple sex therapy is desire, pleasure, eroticism, satisfaction. Desire is the most important dimension.

Female sexual desire is different than but not inferior to male sexual desire. Female desire is more variable, flexible, and individualistic. A little-known reality is that when couples become non-sexual (having sex less than 10 times a year) it is almost always the man’s decision, made unilaterally and conveyed non-verbally.

Most women begin a new relationship as a “romantic love/ passionate sex/idealization” couple. This is an important, but fragile, relationship phase lasting between 6 months and 2 years. The challenge for the married or partnered woman is to develop a couple sexual style which promotes strong, resilient sexual desire. Unfortunately, this transition is not successful for as many as 1 in 3 women.

The challenge is to balance her “sexual voice” (autonomy) with being an intimate sexual team. The second challenge is to integrate intimacy and eroticism into their relationship.

Pages: 1 2 3

The Bully in You: How to Choose Love Talk over Critical Talk

by Clementine Francesin LOVE

Bullies exist. Sure. But, sometimes I think we are our own biggest bullies.

Think about it? If anyone were as mean to you as you are to yourself, would you want that person to remain in your life?

This kind of repeated, silent, antagonizing we do to ourselves every time we make a mistake affects our mood.  Although, verbally abusing yourself seems like a powerful thing, because you get to say the bad things before anyone else does, it doesn’t help you. So here is how can we choose love talk over critical talk….

  • You’re late.

Critical Talk:

What do you say yourself? I know I say things like, “Ugh you should have left earlier.” “You always do this.” “You’re irresponsible.” “It’s all your fault.” “Can’t you ever be on time for anything?” These are things others may say about you, or you may say about others, but usually behind their back.

Love Talk:

I arrived in perfect time for my participation. I will set my alarm 15 minutes ahead of what I usually do from now on. Arriving early is a good challenge that I will take on. I can choreograph my schedule so I have more time to get to places on time stress free.

Pages: 1 2 3

My Complex Life and Lessons Around Valentine’s Day

by Kelley Lynnin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I wish you were more romantic. I wanted to feel special today, and you forgot.

On Superbowl Sunday in the year 2005, my then “boyfriend”, soon to be fiance and then husband, drove a Penske moving truck with his cat in his lap and his life in boxes, from Florida to New Jersey, to begin a new life with me. We had been through a 7-year long-distance relationship together, and after saving lots of money and doing lots of planning, the love of my life decided to finally make his move and leave his friends, family, and job as an EMT in Florida.

Ten days later, it was Valentine’s Day. Our first one as a couple, living together. Don was still unpacking his 50,000 boxes and thousands of various random items, life was chaotic, and we were both still getting used to the idea of being each other’s new “roommates.”

When Valentine’s Day came, the hopeless-romantic girl part of me took over, and I guess I expected my man to do something epic. I was picturing beautiful hand-written poetry or cards, gorgeous floral bouquets, a romantic gourmet dinner made by him (even though the man couldn’t boil water, literally), spontaneous slow-dancing in our living room, chocolate-covered strawberries (my favorite) being fed to me as we gazed into each other’s eyes; the works. I don’t know why, really. Maybe all the years of this Hallmark, commercial holiday had finally gotten to me. Maybe the pressures of society and seeing endless girls getting roses at the office and none for me, played on my heart. Maybe I was so depressed and sad in past Valentine’s Days, because I pretty much never had a Valentine, that I was convinced THIS was my year to finally reap the rewards of true love and romance.

I don’t know what made me expect and picture those things, but those things were not what I got. The spontaneous dancing never happened, and the flowers never came. Instead, my guy parked himself down on the worn-out couch, let out a big sigh, and exclaimed: “Damn. I’m exhausted.” I proceeded to run into the bathroom and cry.

“How could you forget Valentine’s Day?’,I selfishly wailed to him through the door. “I wish you were more romantic. I wanted to feel special today, and you forgot.” I continued to cry for way longer than was necessary, and then I made him feel really bad and really guilty for forgetting, on our first Valentine’s Day together. Now, looking back on this moment that I am NOT proud of, this would have been the perfect opportunity for my beloved, to grab his 500 million boxes and his cat, and run screaming away from me as fast as he possibly could, and into the arms of a normal woman, who is sane. It also would have been the perfect time for him to call me out on being a total whiny bitch about nothing. But he didn’t. That is not who he was. Ever. Instead, this dear man said very sincerely and genuinely and with a bit of a smirk: “Oh boy. I think I’m in trouble here. I’m sorry, sweetie. I just moved in and I was so tired from the move, it just slipped my mind. I promise I’ll do better next year. I won’t forget. I’m sorry.”

Later that year, we got engaged, and in 2006, we got married. Him forgetting Valentine’s Day became an ongoing joke with us throughout our almost 5 years together, and each year from then on, he would get me 2 cards instead of one, 2 bags of candy instead of one, and 2 bouquets of roses instead of one – all to make up for the “one” he forgot the first time around. When we laughed about it, which was often, I would ask him why he didn’t pack up his shit and leave me right then and there, to save himself from a life of living with an unappreciative girly-bitch. He laughed it off and said: “I will admit to getting a bit peeved when you said I’m not romantic. All I could think was: ‘Not romantic? I just packed up my entire LIFE and moved to freakin’ NEW JERSEY, for you!!! Who moves to New Jersey? This place sucks! You don’t get more romantic than THAT, woman!” This theme became such an inside joke for us in our time together, that he repeated that question as part of his self-written wedding vows to me. “My love for you sometimes defies all logic. After all, who moves to New Jersey? On purpose?” Our friends and family roared with laughter.

Now, today, five and a half years after my husband’s sudden death, it is Valentine’s. I can’t help but think about all the many ways in which I have changed since losing him, and all the many things I wish like hell I could tell him I’m sorry for. Before I knew my husband, I spent way too many years being upset and sad that I didn’t have anyone on Valentine’s Day. And then I DID have someone on Valentine’s Day, FINALLY! Not only did I have someone, I had someone who changed his life for me, changed where he was living for me, took a risk on love for me. And I didn’t appreciate it. Not that first year. I was too focused on my perception of what Valentine’s Day meant, and what I should be “getting” as a result of it. The whole time, the greatest gift of my life, was sitting right there on my couch, exhausted from just moving his entire life – for me. For us. From that day forward, the entire idea of Valentine’s Day, and love itself, changed for me. I started caring less about why he didn’t spontaneously get me flowers, and started seeing all the incredible things this man did for me every single day – things that matter. Now, I’m not going to bullshit anyone here. I am STILL a hopeless romantic. I love flowers, I love spontaneous dancing in the living room, and I’m still waiting for my gourmet romantic dinner – made with love from a person who cares about me. I still get giddy and silly-happy from all of those things.

But now, I appreciate those things with a fire I can’t quite explain. When the person I have feelings for sent me roses on my birthday this past fall, I couldn’t stop smiling. I also must have thanked him 17 times, minimum. It just never feels like enough times to say thank you or show my appreciation, because I can’t ever thank my husband again for all he did for me, and that breaks my heart.

I believe, truly, that one of the ways in which the people we love who have died, stay with us, is when we take on some of their best character traits. My husband was kind, big-hearted, and appreciative and aware of doing the small things that were actually big things. I have now become this way, and I am truly thankful whenever someone does something nice for me, especially when it is unexpected. He gave that gift to me, and that piece of him has stayed inside me, literally. My husband was not “romantic” in the way that most people would define that word. He was not the type of guy that would pick up flowers for no reason, or make me dinner. (Again, he was the worst cook in the universe, and he would often joke that if anything ever happened to him on the job and he didn’t come home, he promised he would send me my own personal chef.) But looking back now, the things that my husband did on a daily basis, were absolutely beyond incredible. Everyday that I’m alive, I wish I could thank him for doing these things. I wish I could tell him how much I appreciated all of it. I am honestly not sure if I told him that enough. It feels like I didn’t, and I hate that. All I can do now, is see what’s in front of me going forward, and recognize the kinds of things someone does for you, when you are their priority. When your happiness, is their priority.

This Valentine’s Day, I would love it so much if I were to get some flowers, and I would once again appreciate them on a whole new level. I would love some chocolate-covered strawberries or a thoughtful little card, letting me know I am being thought of by someone important to me. But even more than that, I will be looking for those little things that are actually the big things – and I will feel lucky to know love like that, and to have had love like that. I miss my husband every single day of my life, and this time of year it feels more raw, because we were jut starting our life together, and now that is a life that cannot be. I cannot ever tell him that I saw and I felt all the little, big things he did for me. But I can tell you. On this upcoming Valentine’s Day, I would like to list just a few of those unromantic, romantic things, that my beautiful husband did for me, every single day.

Maybe if I tell you all, he will somehow know, that he has forever changed my definition of romance, love, and Valentine’s Day, and that I am grateful for it. Thank you.

1. Always handed me the keys to his car with a full tank of gas, and the oil checked, so that Id be safe.
2. Often left himself with NO money in his wallet before work, so that he could give his last $10 to me.
3. Reminded me that I was beautiful, often, and meant it.
4. Helped me to the bathroom, and waited on me hand and foot for a whole week, when I threw out my back.
5. Held my hair and washed my face off with a washcloth when I was puking my guts out from a bad reaction to Percacet.
6. The way he looked at me when I was performing or speaking onstage, like he was in awe of me.
7. He asked for my dad’s permission to marry me.
8. The way he would do things he didn’t want to do (like taking 8 weeks of ballroom dancing lessons so we could do a Foxtrot at our wedding reception), just to make me happy.
9. The way he made me feel safe from everything scary in the world.
10. Holding my hand and explaining things in a calm voice to me, when I would freak out on airplanes.
11. I trusted him with my life. He would have taken a bullet for me, or given his life for me. No doubt.
12. Held my hand until I was asleep, and then longer.
13. He moved his life from Florida to New Jersey, one week before Valentine’s Day, because that’s what it was going to take to be with me.

I love you, sweet husband. Thank you for changing the way I see everything.

I’m Taking Valentine’s Back: A Curable Romantic

by Virginia Jonesin LOVE

I have had an awful superstition about Valentine’s day. You?

Growing up, I loved Valentine’s day.  I really did.  I loved writing little cards for my friends, doling out the extra big cards to the kids I REALLY was nuts about, making little candy bags, decorating a shoebox mailbox to within an inch of its life.

I loved it as an adult, getting dressed up and going out with someone special.  I would make handmade cards for my friends at work and was generally a Valentine’s weirdo.  I loved Valentine’s day for both platonic and romantic love.  I loved having an excuse for telling people I cared about them.

One year, I got up at five in the morning and drove to a white-tiled tunnel in Portland.  It would get grimy from car exhaust and you could write in it.  I wrote KENNY BE MINE with a yellow sponge mop, knowing that the same Kenny would drive past it on the way to work and wonder if it was for him.  As it turns out, most of his office knew and teased him mercilessly.  But I loved doing it.

A few years later, I got asked out on a first date on Valentine’s day.  It was such a preposterously bad idea I agreed to it, like wearing a jumpsuit to a wedding.  We went out for drinks and I said, I heard you were still married, and he said yeah, but she doesn’t live here anymore.  At the time, I gave this a pass, but today I’d say if you ask a person if they’re married and they say yes, you shouldn’t continue to see them.

We got serious very quickly and were married a year later.

Ten years later, he asked me for a divorce on Valentine’s day, because he was seeing a friend of mine and he wanted her to live in the house where I lived and he thought it might get crowded.  I felt really blindsided.  I knew we weren’t the best marriage ever, but I thought we were functional.  I had hoped it would improve, but now it wouldn’t.

So, I moved out to Los Angeles, and got a stupid haircut, and did all the stuff divorced women are supposed to do.  Dated people who were too young for me.  Lived in a fancy apartment full of other divorced ladies.  Got many pedicures, bought myself flowers.  A year later on Valentine’s day, I was in Bangkok, Thailand, and my friend wrote me an email and said, hey, how you doin’, and I said, not that bad, and she said, are your text messages turned off, and I said yeah, it’s too expensive here, and she said Oh!  Well, we’ll talk when you get home.  So, when I landed at LAX, I finally turned on my text messages and my phone started going off like a slot machine bring barrring barrring barrring and for a second I thought, am I famous for something? So, I have all these messages because everyone wants to tell me that my husband got married on Valentine’s day, to the girl he left me for, on the radio, so that pretty much everyone I knew heard it.  True to form, he had married her in about a year.  Just likes being married, I guess.

This is his third marriage, and I wish the third wife the best of luck, because, you know, he cheated on the first two!  But probably they don’t need luck, because according to his facebook posts, their love is special.

One of the first things I learned when I got divorced, is that they’re all sad.  Even your friend who bitched about her husband constantly is sad when he’s not her husband anymore, because it’s a wish that didn’t come true, and a promise they couldn’t keep- so, when someone tells you they’re getting a divorce, please keep in mind that the correct response is never- that’s great!

Another of the gifts of being divorced is that it makes everything else seem not so bad.  It’s like bombing onstage in comedy, once you’ve truly tried to share your worldview with a roomful of people who want no part of it, once you’ve been talking onstage to just sheer, thick, unadulterated silence, and you survive that, you know you can survive a lot of things.  So, every traffic ticket or lost credit card I’ve had since then, I have real perspective on, like, well, I didn’t just get unceremoniously dumped!  It could absolutely be worse.  It always can.

For several years, I have had an awful superstition about Valentine’s day, and have panicked and ended relationships around then, and have regarded with suspicion it like you might give a wary eye to the corner where you had a bad car accident- it doesn’t mean it will happen again, but now you know that it could.

It’s been six years now, and my Valentine’s day breakup doesn’t strike me as tragic anymore, it’s just annoying, more like a papercut or a stubbed toe rather than a stabbing feeling in one’s chest.  It’s not Valentine’s day’s fault.  It’s just a dumb little holiday that the Romans started when they noticed that the weather was a little warmer and all the animals around them were doing it.  I can still love my friends.  I can still share feelings with a partner.  So, this is the year I’m taking it back.  I’m going to make dumb little cards and make romantic plans.  But I’m not going out to dinner.  That’s for suckers.

It’s Not the Climax Date on the Calendar That Matters

by Lisa Lauretain RELATIONSHIPS

This plan couldn’t be beat…until it was.

I’ve never cared much about Christmas, or Thanksgiving. I don’t go “home for the holidays.” I haven’t given Valentine’s Day a second thought since I was a teenager.

Precious Days

I’m not completely devoid of sentiment. I do have a couple of special days a year that I celebrate “religiously.” Halloween and New Year’s Eve have always had great significance to me. Halloween because it’s when everyone acts the way they wish they could the rest of the year, and New Year’s Eve because it’s symbolic of a new beginning, a wiping of the slate, a celebration of accomplishments from the year before and an acknowledgement of goals and dreams about what’s to come. Those are precious days to me and as such, I try to spend them doing special things with people who I find invaluable to my life.

This year, I spent Halloween with a friend rather than my partner, because my partner was out of town for a couple of months. When he’d announced his plans to be gone over my favorite holiday, I was slightly heartbroken, but understood. It was for the trip of a lifetime and I wasn’t going to let a one-day, city-wide costume party get in the way of that for him. It just meant to both of us that New Year’s Eve would be even more special.

Unforgettable Date with Mom

His mom was in town on over the holiday weeks, so on New Year’s Eve Day we went to a small island off the coast of Southern California and did some cave kayaking. It was amazing. I saw wild foxes, seals, dolphins and some whales; truly an unforgettable day. That night, however, was for us and his mom understood that, so she said we should take it for ourselves and do something special.

Epic Climax Date Plans

When he had asked me what I wanted to do, being the overly amorous gal that I am, I told him my only real goal for the night was for us to be climaxing during the countdown, and for a full release at “Happy New Year!” He agreed that would be an epic New Year’s plan. All that was left was location.

We’d originally intended to go camping, somewhere not too far, like Joshua Tree. However, the weather had other plans, deciding that torrential downpours followed by sub-zero temperatures would be a better way to spend New Years. So J Tree was out, however, there were closer places we could go. We explored all of our options, and as wet and cold as it was going to be, it seemed like the best plan would be to just stick to a hike somewhere close. We would get to the top of a mountain, screw each other’s brains out until the countdown was over, and then head home.

Dehydration…a Kicker

This plan couldn’t be beat…until it was. My partner, who avoided drinking water during our all-day kayaking trip because he didn’t want to pee in his wet suit, was extremely dehydrated. We took in a bunch of fluids and made some macaroni and cheese. Did I mention he’s lactose intolerant? Just a little bit, but apparently something like that is greatly exacerbated by a weakened system due to dehydration. Needless to say, he started to not feel very well.

Should I Stay or Should I Go

We took a quick nap before our hike and I woke up ready to go! He woke up…slightly less excited. I couldn’t tell at that point whether he just didn’t feel like going out or he was really ill. So I said I could go on my own. This was in no way meant out of spite or passive aggression, and he knew that. I simply wanted to be outside at midnight and I don’t like dragging people along when they don’t want to be there. He insisted on coming with me. He just kept saying, “I wanna be with you.”

What I should have said was, “okay, let’s stay here then.” But I still didn’t fully realize just how bad it was, until we got to the mountain. We got out of the car with our backpack filled with Trader Joe’s fireworks chocolate, sparkling apple cider, and a blanket. He wasn’t looking great, so I asked him if we should go back. “NO! I want it to be special.” Just minutes into the hike it became apparent to me just how ill he was. We were stopping every few minutes for him to collect himself. This was certainly going to be a special night. But not the type of special either of us had intended.

The Mountain at Midnight

We made it up to the mountain and during the midnight count down he was off in the bushes taking care of some nasty business while I toasted myself for my achievement of keeping cool and not being too grossed out. We headed back down the mountain and I drove us home. By this time more than ever I felt terrible for making him come with me and being so insistent on this being a special night.

Best Laid Plans Became a Care Package

I took care of him the rest of the night and the entire next day. While I nursed him back to health I realized something. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older now and don’t party anymore, or if it’s because I’ve finally found someone who I’m calm and comfortable with, but it didn’t matter to me that it wasn’t ideal. This night was actually the opposite of ideal. It was kind of the worst. I watched disgusting things happen to the person I was supposed to be doing altogether other kinds of disgusting things with. But despite this, I was glad to have spent the night with him. I was happy to have been able to take care of him and I was glad he was around. This leads me to ask the ever important question: what happened to me?!

Another Day for a “Special” Date

We made a deal to do a countdown later on this year, which we’ve set a date for. We’ll recreate New Year’s Eve well past its actual date, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’ll be together, and that we were together.

So this Valentine’s day, I urge you, dear reader, to treat it like any other day: special. Special not because it’s February 14, but because of the company you’re with and the moments you share. Even if those moments turn out gross.

Girl Who Doesn’t Go Big On Valentine’s…How About You?

by Jennifer Ashley Greenein DATING ADVICE, LOVE

I have nothing against romance, love, or intimacy, in the least; I just enjoy doing things on my terms.

I’ve never been the type of girl who goes big for Valentine’s Day.

Scratch that. When I was a little girl, it was arguably my favorite holiday as I was nothing short of obsessed with those little conversation hearts.  I ate them as if they were about to be discontinued.  Now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure those hearts are majorly to blame for each of my cavities.  Fast forward to adult life, when the fun of exchanging Valentines with classmates (and hopefully your crush) is replaced with the pressure to buy into Hallmark’s idea of the “perfect” Valentine’s Day and you end up where I am, desperate to do anything else other than act romantic on this silly holiday.  Yes, anything.

Anticipation

My lack of anticipation around #Valentine’s Day could also be attributed to the years of #Valentine’s Days I spent as a waitress, mainly existing as a vehicle to ensure that some other couple enjoyed their evening together.  Call me cynical, but I just don’t agree with the notion of being forced to celebrate your relationship along with millions of other couples, on one specific day.

Pages: 1 2 3

How “Secretary” Set the Bar for #Fifty Shades of Grey

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

How Lee (#Maggie Gyllenhaal) found confidence in kink?

Lee Holloway and E. Edward Grey did it first. And did it better.

Many people may think Ana Steele and Christian Grey of the “Fifty Shades” trilogy set the bar for a modern D/s (dominant/submissive) relationship. But that bar was cleared back in 2002 with “Secretary.”

If you haven’t seen the movie (and you really should), here’s what happens: Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal) gets a job at a law firm run by lawyer E. Edward Grey (James Spader). Grey orders Holloway around (in both personal and professional ways), and each person soon realize that the other is into it. This back-and-forth battle of wills then evolves into a mutual dominant/submissive relationship.

When “Secretary” arrived on the scene 15(!!) years ago, sexual mores were a lot different, especially regarding D/s and kink. BDSM was lot more closed off, and wasn’t as mainstream as it is now. (Hell, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian have both rocked high-end latex dresses, once seen as solely part of kink costume, at mainstream high-profile events.) Consequently, people may have held misconceptions about what a D/s relationship was.

“Secretary” showed a woman who was willing to explore her kink, learn about it, and grow with it. The film doesn’t demonize or judge the kink (though it places other supporting characters in those roles). It simply sits back and lets Lee evolve into her true self. As she evolves, Lee gains confidence in her newfound submissiveness. She displays a more polished appearance that hints at her sexuality (including employing the classic tight black pencil skirt) and becoming more vocally assertive. She also becomes more active in pursuing her sexuality, educating herself on submissiveness and answering kinky personal ads.

Pages: 1 2

Noisy Sex…Who Is Having It and Why

by zfortadminin Sex

So is vocalization during sex just a performance?

All you have to do is watch nearly any depiction of female orgasm on screen to get an idea of how a woman is “supposed” to react during sex.

From “When Harry Met Sally” to “Sex and the City” to your basic porn film, women in the throes of passion aren’t just shouting their ecstasy from the rooftops, they’re moaning with pleasure. Loudly.

But is this just cinematic license, or is there really something to noisy sex?

Experts wondered the same thing. In 2011, Gayle Brewer of the University of Central Lancashire and Colin Hendrie of the University of Leeds published their research on the topic — technically known as “copulatory vocalization” — in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. In the study, they asked 71 sexually active heterosexual women between ages 18 and 48 for more details about vocalization during sex.

The researchers found that many of the women did make noise but not necessarily while they were having an orgasm. Instead, 66% said that they moaned to speed up their partner’s climax, and 87% stated that they vocalized during sex to boost his self-esteem.

“While female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously with male ejaculation,” the researchers wrote. Women also reported making noise to relieve boredom, fatigue and pain/discomfort during sex.

So is female vocalization during sex just a performance for a guy’s benefit? (After all, Meg Ryan’s over-the-top moans were meant to prove a point to “Harry” that men are easily duped by a fake orgasm.)

Pages: 1 2 3

T&A Talk Sex – In Bed with Trisha Hershberger

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A hop in bed with Trisha Hershberger (from her Youtube series, The Naked Truth) to find out more about her relationships, favorite sex positions, and what’s it like to have sex with a baby growing inside!

Check out our 2017 New Year episode with Sina Amedson and Trisha Hershberger about what we learned in 2016 about relationships and what we plan do do differently in 2017. Episode 127! How will you make your relationship better in 2017? Podcast here

http://www.tatalksex.com/

7 Tips to a Fun and Sexy Valentine’s Adventure Even Without Someone Special

by Lisa Lauretain LOVE

Go do something awesome for yourself. 

Many people, myself included, actually couldn’t care less about Valentine’s Day. However, I wasn’t always so carefree about it. I used to let it consume me. Back in high school I would get really depressed thinking that I’d never have anyone to share special times with. As I got older, I realized that Valentine’s Day, like most holidays, just wasn’t that important to me. So when my partner told me he was going to be out of town on the big day, I thought nothing of it. But then I realized, this day is still really important to some folks. So, I decided to compile a list of things that people can do on Valentine’s Day if they don’t have a partner(s), or won’t be able to spend it with who they want to spend it with.

  • Take yourself out to dinner.

    Maybe there’s a restaurant you’ve always wanted to try. Maybe said restaurant is on your bucket list but no one else you know has ever expressed interest. This is a perfect time to try it out! If you don’t feel like seeing a bunch of couples out on the town, avoid the opportunity for sadness or loneliness to sneak in by making it a lunch date instead. During the day, you’re less likely to feel anything but satisfied and full from a delicious meal.

  • Go for a walk in the park.

    If you have a hiking trail nearby, even better! Spending time alone, surrounded by nothing but nature and your own thoughts can be extremely therapeutic. It beats the heck out of sitting at home and watching the boobtube all day into the night. Plus, you’re burning calories, which means you can feel less guilty about the what’s next on the list..

Pages: 1 2 3

A Valentine’s First Date? Why Not! Do’s and Don’ts

by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

A guide to impressing your first date on the most romantic day of the year.

If you’ve asked a girl out on a first date on Valentine’s Day, then kudos to you, good sir – you have inexplicably doubled the amount of pressure a first date usually places on a man’s shoulders by holding it on the most romantic day of the year.

In doing so, you’re likely going to need a few tips to ensure that you make it through February 14th with your dignity in tact. Luckily, we here at Crave Online have compiled a list of Do’s and Don’ts that should see you through the date.

DO: Make a big deal out of your spontaneity.

Valentine’s Day is usually a date reserved for existing couples, not for two people who have only recently met. This is why you need to assure your date for the evening that you do not make a habit of going on first dates on Valentine’s Day, but rather it was something that you decided to do in this one specific instance because you are spontaneous and mad and any other quirky personality trait that women seem to go for.

DON’T: Make yourself seem desperate.

If you’ve asked out a girl you don’t really know on Valentine’s Day, then she likely had one of two reactions:

  1. She thought it was really sweet.
  2. She thought it was kind of weird and desperate, but decided to give you a chance anyway because you might have just been trying to be sweet.
Pages: 1 2 3

Know Your Body Intimately

by Gina Cloudin Body, Sex, Wellness

GinaCology Principle No. 2 is that women (and men, too really!) should be intimate with their bodies, both from a health perspective and a sexual one.

Your health is YOUR responsibility and without an intimate relationship with your body, all aspects of your life become problematic; mentally, emotionally, spiritually and definitely physically.  Becoming aware of how aware or not aware you are of your own body is critical.

I made a video on this topic and share a lot on my philosophy about this, as well as give tips on how to approach and accomplish living connected to your body this way.  It’s part one, covering the health aspect. I’ll be sharing the second video on the sexuality aspect soon.

If you’re new to my work, please VISIT MY WEBSITE and join my mailing list to stay up to date with what I’m up to.  And please spend time on my blog, as I have many great topics I’ve written on that will really enrich your life!

And ladies, when you join my mailing list, you’ll receive a free body inventory assessment of 60+ questions to help you get more attuned with your body around this topic.

Much love,

Gina Cloud

Who Knew this LOVE Potion Actually Had Science to Back it Up

by zfortadminin LOVE

The box of chocolates used to be a first-date staple but has fallen out of fashion of late. Sarah Knapton, the Telegraph’s Science Editor explains why the tradition should be revived.

Turning up with a box of chocolates on a first date is about as naff as brandishing a bouquet of Tesco ‘seven-day fresh’ carnations.

Although the Milk Tray man charmed a generation of women into believing that stealthily depositing confectionary on a pillow was endearing (rather than criminally alarming), today’s calorie-counting singletons no longer want suitors proffering a tray of temptation.

Thus the chocolate box tradition seemed irrevocably consigned to the dustbin of history.

But wait! New research suggests that there could be something in it after all.

American academics at Purdue University found that tasting something sweet can increase the level of attraction you feel for a prospective partner.

Researchers tested the effect of sweet drinks and biscuits on a group of 180 volunteers and asked them to rate how alluring they viewed a potential date.

Intriguingly those who had the sugary treats were more interested in going out with the date than those who had stuck to water or crisps.

Scientists think that the same brain systems underlie sweet taste and feelings of love. Both trigger production of the pleasure chemical dopamine which may explain why we naturally crave both. They claim that activating one area, ‘may facilitate activation of the other.’

Pages: 1 2

How to Annoy People in Love on Valentine’s Day: Top 10 List

by Kelley Lynnin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Inspired by “I left the grocery store a few days before Valentine’s Day, in tears.”

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, life can be rough. Sometimes a routine trip to the grocery store can feel like an attack on every emotion. Aisles filled with red and pink everything. Plastic, tacky heart decorations and large teddy bears holding cheap chocolates permeating the shelves. Love and Hallmark wafting in the air:  Rows of cards with messages like:  “Marriage Means Growing Old Together.”, “I Want to Grow Old With You.” The final straw is: “We Will Be Together Forever.”

A couple years ago, I left the grocery store a few days before Valentine’s Day, in tears. When I got to the register, there was a couple in their 70’s or 80’s in front of me paying for their things. The husband was lightly teasing the wife; they were bantering and joking around. It was very sweet, and I was so jealous of them and their time together. As he put all the heavy items onto the counter for her, she looked at me lovingly and said: “My husband is so good at that! He always makes sure I don’t have to use my muscles.” She laughed warmly, meaning no harm. I smiled with my lips, and cried my way right out of the store and back into my car. She looked at me with confusion as they left the store, leaning on one another, literally.

That night, I remember going home and just crying for a really long time. After awhile, you kind of grow tired of crying, and you want to start taking action. So, this year, as we come up on about a week and a half before Valentine’s Day, I have decided to make a wish list of all the things I would LOVE to do on that day, but cannot, because I would surely be arrested.

Here are my Top 10 Ways to Annoy Those in Love on Valentine’s Day: (this is just for fun, and no people in love were harmed in the making of this Top 10 list. Thank you.

  1. Candy-Policing: 

Go into Walgreen’s, CVS, and other drugstores that sell cheap, stale candy like “Whitmann’s Sampler” – and wait for men to pick it up to purchase. Each time a guy picks up a box, look at him and say: “Really? This is what you’re going with? Seriously? If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother with the red tacky heart shaped balloon on a stick. Now you’re just being insulting.”

  1. Call Out the Cheapskates: 

Stand at a bus terminal, or the grocery store, or gas station, where men go to buy last-minute flowers. Stand in front of the display and yell out in a sales-pitchy voice: “Get your discounted, non-personal, I don’t give a shit about you at all, flower arrangements right here! These flowers are guaranteed to live for your entire car ride home – up to 10 miles. Tell your girl to ignore the weird, musty smell coming from inside the bouquet. We don’t know what it is either. Please don’t ask. She can water these, but it won’t help. These flowers WILL die, suddenly and without warning. Just like my husband!”

  1. Party of One: 

Go to a restaurant, put name on reservations list with the last name “Widow”, so they have to call out: “Widow – Party of One. Widow – Party of One???” Get a table in the center, alone, and wait for all the couples to show up together, celebrating Valentine’s Day. Once the place is filled with happy couples; start loudly talking and giggling to yourself, as if there is another person there with you. Act extra giddy. Laugh loudly, pull out a rose from under the table, present it to yourself, and say: “Oh baby! You SHOULDN’T have! For meeeee?” Bat eyelashes. Unbutton  top two buttons on blouse, look across the table and say: “Oooh! Here? Right now? You naughty, naughty boy!” Then get up, holding hands with imaginary lover, and exit, leaving them all completely confused and stunned.

  1. Depressing Hearts:

Start your own line of ” Anti – Valentines Day Conversation Hearts”, and replace all the normal ones in stores with them. They would have messages like:  “Everyone Will Die”, “Love Ends When One of You Dies”, “I Am Completely Alone”, “This Heart Was Made With Real Tears”, “Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m Dead!”, “Will You Be My Valentine … Cat?”, “Be Mine – Until I Die Unexpectedly”, “All We Are Is Dust In the Wind”, “You Might Choke on this Candy Heart and Die”, “There’s a Good Chance One of Us Will Get Sick Someday”, “Nobody is Promised Tomorrow” “Text Me! No Wait – Never Mind. My phone Is Disconnected Cuz I’m Dead.” Okay, most of these most likely wouldn’t fit onto a tiny little candy heart, but this is a fantasy, so let’s just pretend it does.

  1. Romantic-Tragedy:

Get a hold of every romantic comedy ever made in the history of time, go through and at the very beginning, add a shot of yourself saying into the camera: “SPOILER ALERT! None of this matters! Everybody Dies!” This way, each rom-com will now end the same exact way. With death.

  1. Hallmark Moment: 

Go through every card aisle of every Hallmark store on earth with magic marker, and put sad faces and giant penis drawings on all of the Valentine’s Day cards. Hide behind display and laugh.

  1. Chocolate-Covered Poop:

Pre-chew all of the Valentine’s Day chocolates, then put them back into their little wrappers. Replace identification signs like “Vanilla Cream” and “Rasberry Filling” with signs that say things like: “This tastes like Ass”, or, “Unidentifiable Orange Disaster”, or, “Smells of Poop.” Laugh loudly at the thought of candy victim eating this nasty chocolate later on.

  1. I Love You, Mommy:

Be the person in charge of the messages that get attached to all of the flower deliveries. Mix them all up so they go to inappropriate people. Send a dozen roses with the message: “I can’t wait to be alone with you tonight. You make me so hot!” to some dude’s mom, from her son. Creepy.

  1. Wedding Crasher:

Crash a wedding. Wait for the priest to say: “If anyone here does not approve of this marriage, speak now or forever hold your piece…” (Okay. Nobody actually says that in weddings. Ever. I have never once heard it in my entire life and I’ve been to a lot of weddings. But again … this is a fantasy, so let’s pretend.) When he says that, yell from the back of the church:  “I DO NOT CONDONE THIS UNION!!!” Then drop your pants and blast the Benny Hill theme song over the loudspeakers. When it ends, leave slowly and awkwardly; sans pants.

  1. Widow Card: 

Bring spouse’s death certificate all over the place, and keep presenting it at stores as if it’s a gift card or discount card for items purchased. “Excuse me, do you offer a Widow Discount? I have this death certificate …. ” “Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, and my husband died. I’d like to buy myself some flowers and chocolates. What is your policy on Widow Discounts? Here is the death certificate … ” “Can I just get HALF of a banana split? I have nobody to split it with, since my husband is dead and all. Please give me the Widow Price. Here’s the certificate…” Watch store clerks and others go insane with bafflement.

As much joy as all of these fun examples would bring to my life, I will mot likely not have the courage to do such silly things, and perhaps instead, sit home and stare longingly at the wall. I will remember years past and try to re-capture what it felt like, to be loved by the best man I ever knew. I will think about the future, and about the feelings I now have for someone else, and how those feelings will hopefully be reciprocated in the way that I want them to be soon. I will think about how my husband would want me to find some joy in life, and also how he would find this Top Ten List pretty hilarious. I will think about how incredibly lucky I was, that he chose me, and that I know what that kind of love feels like, and then I will try really hard to not be too sad, and to know that love grows more love, and that there will be more love in my life, because I loved and still love him, forever.

Anyone wanna get a nice widow girl some flowers?