Sexual Intimacy and Its Connection with Aural Energy

We have evolved both in terms of our thinking and approach towards life. The freedom to choose a sexual partner without any hesitation has also increased. But there is nothing such as casual or meaningless sex. When we get intimate with anybody we tend to receive their positivity or negativity and unknowingly incorporate it in our everyday lives.

Even if we do not meet the other person ever again, or if we do have a continuous physical intimacy with our partner, each time we get into the act, we receive a part of their energy into our aura and leave a part of ours into theirs.

So each time we have sex, we create an energy cord with our partner. Their thoughts, feelings, desires, etc., are left as impressions in our aura, which unless cleansed, stays with us. If the same is done under the influence of alcohol, we lower our natural protective field, which further exposes us to negative & discordant energies. If we have sex with a positive person, we are bound to receive her/his positivity and vice-a-versa with a negative person.

Jeffery Armstrong in his article, The Ancient Art and Science of Sexual Healing says, “..what could be accomplished by bringing the male and the female body together. The answer to this question is physical, biological, vital, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And since our bodies share characteristics with the animal realm, it is obviously possible for us to be pulled in both an upward and downward direction through our endowment of energies.”

Power behind the Act

Sexual energy is one of the most powerful form of energy available to living beings, but it is only man who has the intelligence to truly understand it. If we learn the true art of sexual healing, we can deduce a way to convert sexual energy into creative & healing energy.

Osho in his book ‘From Sex to Supeconscious’ emphasized the presence of God in the act of coitus and closeness to the divine in an orgasm. “The coupling of a man and a woman has a very deep significance: the ego evaporates in this assimilation of two human beings. A person who really understands the essence of this unity, of this longing for love and oneness, can also comprehend the meaning of yet another kind of unity – a yogi unites; an ascetic unites; a saint unites; a meditator unites. A person is also united in intercourse: his identity merges with that of the other person, and they become one.”

In spite of all these positive connections, we approach sex with indifference, guilt and shame, which devoid us from experiencing its true power.

8 Tips for Mindful Love-Making

Here’s how to improve your connection with your partner. 

Mindfulness is being in the present moment with total awareness. But the one area where we can be the least present is in our relationships, and that includes our most intimate ones.

Mindful love-making is a whole new approach to being intimate with awareness, which means having sex not only for the sheer pleasure of it, but with our mind, body, and spirit combined, and as thoughtfully engaged as possible. Loving your partner mindfully will enhance the quality of your sex, and increase the closeness you experience together significantly. Not only will it become the type of love-making you crave, but it will be the only type of love-making you desire to give your partner.

Here are several ways to connect with your partner mindfully, and be as fully present as you can in the bedroom:

The best lovemaking is when two people are 100 percent present with each other, which means they are completely aware and sensitive of one another’s needs. A good way to make that happen is to set aside a special time for you and your partner to have sex. That way, you know that you’re bringing your complete attention to them, and that they are getting all of you in the experience, which is a turn-on.Young loving couple isolated on white

Mindful lovemaking can happen when both people are fully present without distraction. Put your gadgets away. That means no phones nearby, or anything electronic that could go off and distract you. Being fully present with your partner means that you need nothing other than them to satisfy you.

Making love mindfully means being fully attuned to someone else’s body and needs. Communicate to your partner either verbally or through touch how much you want to satisfy them. Giving them all of your attention increases stimulation and satisfaction.

Think of what would make your partner happy or satisfy them. Showing your partner that you’ve taken the time to figure out what would excite them sexually lets them know that you care about them, and that they are very important to you.

Can Tantra Improve Your Sex Life?

Sex is one reason couples come to Tantra – either to help put the spark back into their relationship or in the hope of curing some kind of sexual dysfunction. Below are some key principles which can help couples to find sexual fulfillment.

  • Make time for love: Busy couples often make love at the end of a tiring day. Make special time for your love-making. Have a bath, exchange a massage, take a walk or meal together beforehand so you can let go of the day and spend time simply being together before making love.
  • Create a sacred space: Make your bedroom your temple. Clear away all the clutter, light candles, burn incense, place a special cloth on your bed – do whatever you need to do to create an atmosphere of sacredness and love.
  • See sex as sacred: When we are able to experience awe and wonder for the miracle of sex, we are in tune with godliness. To jump start this process, imagine your partner is a god or goddess – be creative! You could wash their feet, stroke their skin gently with reverence or gaze into their eyes – whatever helps you see the divine in them.
  • No goal: Forget about the goal of orgasm. Learn to just be together in a timeless zone. This becomes more orgasmic than any genital release can ever be.
  • Be total: breathe deeply and totally from your belly as much as you can – aliveness and let go are essential for the flow of sexual energy to become ecstatic.

Yoga Sex vs Drunk Sex

Yoga makes sex even more awesome than booze does.  Already, this entire article sounds like a lie.  I mean, when I come out of the gate with such a grand unbelievable statement like that, it surely must set off your smarty-pants alarm.  With all the things alcohol does to help sex, lowering the inhibitions, acting as a social lubricant, allowing the logic center of your brain enough of a stay-cation that you can bend your perception of reality into pretending that the guy from the barstool next to yours, who is currently flailing around behind you like a Muppet, is the ex you still love…it seems a little incredulous to think that there’s anything legal that could possibly do more to benefit your sex life.  I get that. I too was skeptical.  But it’s been proven true, and here’s a few reasons why:

1. Stress kills the libido, and chaos creates stress.

Yoga calms your mind through attention to breathing.  Smooth, even breaths naturally bring tranquility to the brain.  Our drunk minds aren’t calm they’re just not functioning at 100%, giving you less than your normal amount of chaos to handle.  And sure, that sounds great, but think of your mind as a classroom full of kids.  Getting drunk is basically filling them with birthday cake, root beer, and pixie stix, and letting them bounce off the walls.  Now, of course, a few of them are going to puke and have to go to the nurse’s office, leaving you with fewer to deal with, which seems easier to keep control over; but just because there’s fewer of them doesn’t mean they’ll be able to focus on math any better.  Regulated breathing, however, is like teaching those kids manners and discipline, giving them the tools they need to be able to sit at their desks and read quietly.  Now, I’m certainly no teetotaler, there’s nothing wrong with the occasional sugar bomb, but having the baseline of tranquility makes for a way smoother school year.

2. Being fully present makes for greater enjoyment of an experience.

In yoga, we link our breath with our movements, creating a connection between them, keeping us present in what we’re doing, which, with a regular practice, extends into our lives beyond the mat.  Staying present and attentive during sex lets us fully experience what’s going on, notice what feels good and what doesn’t, which brings us a greater awareness of our own sexual desires, needs, and wants.  I won’t speak for you, but when I get drunk, it’s usually with the goal (conscious or subconscious) of disconnecting, taking a break from reality, and on more than one occasion, I’ve tried something new in bed while drunk, and woken up the next day with no recollection of how I felt about it, beyond a sore muscle or aching orifice, which usually makes me only more leery of trying said sexual feat again.

3. On the note of sore muscles, I’ll move into the myriad of physical ways yoga helps sex.

To begin, there’s flexibility and strength.  A regular yoga practice increases that power pair, which helps us be more comfortable in various sexual positions.  For example, a greater range of motion in the hips allows for a wider leg-spread in missionary.  Stronger quads and core lets you enthusiastically stay on top longer.  Downward dog leads to happier doggie-style.  And having more physical stamina in general never hurt anyone (longer rolls in happier hay).  Yoga also improves our circulation, increasing blood flow to the entire body, pink parts included!  Increasing the blood flow enlivens our tissue and nerve endings, making us more sensitive to the tickles, tingles, and other tremendous titillations that come from my personal favorite of our national pastimes.

Yes, being drunk can also increase flexibility, but temporarily, by numbing pain receptors, which explains my sore muscles the next day. The alcohol-related lowered inhibitions led to being careless with preparations, explaining the aching orifices.  I’ve never had more stamina when I’m drunk. And I am only slightly ashamed to admit that I’ve passed out during drunken sex on more than one occasion.

I think that in my attempt to draw comparisons, I may sound really judgmental, so let me clear that up: Since the first time I paired drinking and fucking, I’ve loved drunken sex.  But in a very in-the-moment, life-of-spontaneous-adventure sort of way.  Yoga has just allowed me to have more complete, lasting appreciation of my sexuality.  So I’m not saying we should stop living our beautiful, wild lives, I’m merely encouraging the addition of a bit of balance to the engaging madness that makes us the unique treasures that we are. More mind-blowing orgasms, less face-melting hangovers?  I’ll absolutely drink to that, namaste!

Sexy Tantra Games You NEED To Try Tonight

We love exploring Tantra with our partners for extra sensual closeness!


Get ready for a unique journey of sensual and sexual exploration.

Tantra
is a Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) word that means to weave energy, specifically Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy, between two lovers. This energy includes our thoughts and feelings and physical and sexual actions.

I’d like to welcome you to a unique journey of sensual and sexual exploration that will prepare you for the 5,000 year old practice of Tantra. Tantra can improve intimate communication and enhance a relationship that has lost its sizzle and spice.

For women, Tantra can empower and fulfill their sensual needs; For men, it can open up a whole new world to intimacy. For couples, it’s an opportunity to create a more meaningful, intimate and spiritual connection.

This is an ancient form of worshiping and loving each other. So, get ready to explore new sexual territory with the following Tantric sexercises.

First, you need to prepare a few props to make your Tantra experience even more memorable and magical. Find a scarf that you can use as a blindfold to take away one of your lover’s senses. Make sure you have some massage oil, water based lubricant, and last but not least, some feathers. These will complete your prop list.

The following Tantric sexercises are all about enjoying the journey of sensuality as opposed to the destination of orgasm. Discover how to give love a spiritual dimension as renowned Sexologist Dr. Ava Cadell takes you to the realm of the Tantra to treat sexual concerns in an extraordinary way.Sex

1. Striptease

Take turns taking off three pieces of your clothing for your lover slowly and provocatively. Add music so that you move your body to the rhythm.

2. Symphony

Imagine you’re a musician, choose an instrument, and play a rhythm on your lover’s naked body for at least five minutes. Your lover has to guess what kind of instrument you are and what tune you’re playing. Then alternate.

3. Surrender

Surrender yourself to your lover and let him/her caresses and kiss you wherever he/she wants for five minutes, then alternate. Use a blindfold or even restraints.

Tantric Explorations Brings a Higher Plane of Sexual Ecstasy

Takeaway: If all you know about Tantra is something about Buddhism and Sting, think again. These Tantric tips are for anyone, and can help you have better sex in mind and body.

Sometimes sex can seem like a race toward orgasm. With so many tips, guides and articles for achieving orgasm (“guaranteed,” “multiple” and “mind-blowing,” get tossed around a lot) it’s no surprise that we sometimes forget that there’s more to sex than the finish line. Tantra, the Sanskrit word for “interwoven”, puts sex in a different perspective. Tantric sex is about slowing down, connecting with your partner, and becoming orgasmic rather than focusing on achieving orgasm. It began in India as a form of yoga that exalted the union of men and women. Today, it’s a way to experience your partner’s body and mind in a way that for many people is completely new.

Real tantra is something that must be explored and learned and discovered over time, but here are a few ways to start bringing some of its key elements into your love life.

Create and Intimate and Relaxing Space

In Tantra, sex is considered to be a full body and mind experience. That means that a big part of Tantra can involve satisfying all of your senses. Think of what smells relax you and your partner, or what scents might stimulate you. Lavender is typically said to relieve stress, and incense or candles can definitely be handy. Consider color, texture, music, even foods. Make sure you are dressed comfortably, with clothes that feel good against your skin. Remember that the space you create shouldn’t draw attention to itself. Instead, it should form a zone in which you’re able to focus on your partner.

Breathe and Make Eye Contact

Breathing is an excellent way to relax your body. Start by sitting down across from your partner, either cross-legged with your knees touching. Or, if you’d prefer more physical contact, wit with one person in the other person’s lap with your legs wrapped around each other.

Try drawing in a deep breath for four seconds through your mouth, then releasing air slowing for four seconds through your nose. Try also coordinating your breath with your partner’s to create a feeling of connection. Inhale when your partner inhales; exhale when he or she exhales. Alternatively, do a breath exchange: inhale when your partner exhales, exhale when he or she inhales. Focus your gaze on your partner’s eyes so you’re looking straight at each other. This may feel very vulnerable at first, but with practice, it’ll be an avenue to a feeling of deeper intimacy.

Good Sex Starts in the Mind

Knowing what turns you on is completely different than knowing the deep reason you enjoy your fantasies. Have you thought about your sexual needs on a deep level? Below we explore great questions to help you connect deeper with your deepest desires and why they are a part of you.


Sex is a body thing. Good sex is a mind thing. And, as with many matters of the mind, getting your groove on – in a fulfilling, meaningful manner – can take a little work and a lot of thought.

However, most articles and authorities on the subject seem to tackle concerns over coitus from the physical front. In so doing, experts are omitting a vital aspect of the sexual encounter: the psychological. Luckily, though, there are psychotherapists and so-called sexologists whose very work involves getting your mind right for a romp.

Here’s what they have to say…

Ask Yourself 2 Simple Questions

Ken Page, a New York-based psychotherapist and author who specialises in intimacy and its psychological correlates, writes that two simple questions are enough to teach you valuable lessons about your sex life.

The first question which Page proposes we ask is: What turns me on most in sex? Now, as simple as this seems, most of us might not be able to give a straight answer right away. Why? Because, as Page puts itour sexual turn-ons sometimes just don’t fit our self-image”. When this is the case, we fanaticise about something for which we feel ashamed.

However, whether or not we like to admit to them (for instance, many people may find that what they like seems “boring” in comparison to some more exciting fantasies) , the things which turn us on the most are “portals to a deeper experience of sex and of ourselves”.

What?

Page explains that these “turn ons” shine a light on parts of ourselves we just don’t know what do with. And we can really benefit from learning how to handle these sexual fantasies in a creative, fulfilling and – vitally – non-destructive ways.

Page recommends that we try to allow ourselves the freedom of play in our dream world: and to trust ourselves enough to try some of these deeply-held fantasies. If it gets uncomfortable, accept that this is normal, but monitor it, and – if the discomfort persists – enlist the support of a skilled psychotherapist to help you along the way.

For the most part, though, Page reckons, we will feel a. proud of ourselves for embracing what it is we want most, and b. more sexually fulfilled. Which brings us to his second “questions for optimal sex”.

What Touches You most Deeply in Sex?

Not literally. What Page is getting at here is, what is it – during sex – which touches you most emotionally? Page goes into this topic in quite a bit of depth in his book Deeper dating: How to drop the games of seduction and discover the poser of intimacy. However, for our purposes here, let’s consider the following points:

  1. Have you ever been surprised by how a sexual experience touched you emotionally?
  2. Have you ever felt a sense of love which overtook you – where sex surpassed sex and became something more?
  3. And, finally, what happened to make this happen?

Try to figure it out: is it a way your partner looks at you, or the way they stroke your back?

Page explains that “in sex and in life, most of us are both more wild and more tender than we feel comfortable with, but both aspects of our sexuality are portals to our deepest self and our richer expression in the world”.

So, he recommends we ask ourselves these two questions about sex as a way to guide us, and our partners, to those portals of intimacy.

We diminish – and even extinguish – the intimacy between ourselves and others when we hide our most vulnerable sexual needs. To keep any sexual relationship real and rewarding, Page explains, involves sharing with your partner the things in sex that move you most deeply, that turn you on most intensely.

Soul Sex: Transcending Lovemaking

Connecting on a deeper level than physical sexuality can unlock a deep well of passion and intense closeness. Have you transcended your lovemaking to Soul Sex?


Anyone can make love. Creating a love-making experience that takes you beyond orgasm is soul sex.

Ahhh! The art of love-making. Part I.

In today’s busy world where we fast forward through life often missing the best parts. We need to set aside dedicated time for quality sex if we want our relationship to survive. Soul Sex does not take place in 15 minutes. It requires patience, planning and will give you countless hours of exquisite pleasure.

In a series of 7 articles we will slowly go through the process of how to have the deep mind-body-soul connection that leads to great sex.

The ultimate love-making experience that goes beyond sex is where the expression, “I saw God!” comes from. This is the most amazing bliss that two people can have together. It is not an event that you can rush through to “get to the good stuff.” Orgasm is not the focus. Pleasure is. Building sexual tension slowly for a peak experience. You enjoy each moment as it comes. No pun intended.

Always begin with a squeaky clean body.  I guarantee you that the fresher you are from the shower, the more varied the activities that will take place.

Set The Mood

Music can set the mood for anything, including sex. From Barry White to Marvin Gaye, there is a wide variety to choose from. Make sure you have lots of music lined up, as one song will not do, unless it’s Ravel’s Bolero. A link is provided here:

ohttp://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/820681/7-Sexy-songs-to-hav…

Before you go any further, make sure you have your cell phones, and television turned off. Any interruption can jar you back to reality. You won’t want to be interrupted.

Blending Your Energies

Before the first touch, sit in front of each other, facing each other. Take a few moments to sit in silence and just breathe in the other. Without touching, close your eyes and enjoy your combined energy. This time will help you both get centered and calm from your day. Let each exhalation release all the negativity you have accumulated from the outside world.

Deep Eye Gazing

It begins with a look. A deep meaningful look where you gaze into your partners soul. You are not thinking about what to pick up at the grocery store, or texting while you are intermittently gazing into your partners eyes. With a soft focus on nothing else but each other. Keep your bodies from touching. Focus only on their eyes. You may laugh, or you may cry – be open to either. You have to able to allow your partner to see inside you. Be transparent. Do not try to hide or put up barriers to the other, you will miss the really deep intimacy you are creating.

Kissing

Kissing itself is an art. Some people can have an orgasm just by kissing. If you want your relationship to be more passionate or last, kiss more often. The hormone oxytocin is released as well as endorphins which make you feel good.

Think of velvet. Soft, gentle and delicate. Subtlety is an art. Instead of using your tongue and full-on lips, with lots of pressure, touch noses first, hesitate to join with your lips. Let the energy between you grow and build slowly. For more about Philemotology, the science of kissing follow the link.

Learn how to kiss in different ways. A kiss should not always be wet or with your tongue. Vary your styles and pressure. Your kiss is an indication of the kind of lover you are. It is the prelude of what is to come. You don’t always want to kiss in the same way.  Sometimes being in touch with your feminine and masculine sides can have tremendous benefits. Kissing and sex should be a delight of all the senses. Not just touch. There is a delicate balance between barely enough, to keep your partner begging for more and too much tongue, wetness or too forceful. You want to begin slowly. A delicate tug on your partner’s lower lip, almost a bite, without the pain. Pull back and look at your partner. Are their eyes dilated? Are they getting aroused? Try kissing in different places, like the palm of your partner’s hand.

This event is not for you to prove something, but to delight. Move forward again this time more slowly so that you can smell each other’s skin.

Now that you have kissed lightly, brushing each other’s lips, allow yourself to begin closing in and embracing fully, at the same time kissing deeply allowing your tongue to enter your partner’s mouth. Allow your passion to rise, as it does your partner’s will also.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Your Questions About Tantra Answered!

Are you curious about Tantra but filled with questions? You’ve come to the right place! The Care2 article takes a deep dive into the sensual world of Tantra and how you can apply it to your sex life.


There’s a scene in my women’s novel where the main character, Lorna, has an amazing sexual experience. It’s not because her partner has any special abilities in bed, but rather that Lorna, on a new quest to live spiritually in her everyday life, opens herself to the energy of source during the encounter. “The expression ‘best sex I’ve ever had’ seems a massive understatement,” Lorna marvels afterward. “This feeling of expansiveness, of being at one with the world, is the best anything I’ve ever had.”

I didn’t know until I recently spoke with Miranda Shaw, author of the book Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism, that what Lorna had glimpsed was a Tantric sexual experience. Shaw, an associate professor of religion at the University of Richmond, says Tantric sex is not so much about sex as many of us think. Instead, the intimate act is merely one of many vehicles practitioners use to connect with the cosmic flow. Western teachers who focus on boosting your sex life through Tantra have it wrong, she claims–the emphasis is more appropriately placed on boosting your enlightenment.

That’s not to say sex doesn’t enter the picture. Read on for more about this fascinating practice–and some of Shaw’s tips for bringing a piece of it to your own bedroom.

Can you describe what “Tantra” is?

Tantra emerged in India in the seventh century as a way to weave (that’s what the word Tantra means) every aspect of daily life, including intimate relationships and erotic experience, into the spiritual path. Strands of Tantra exist in the Hindu, Jain and Buddhist traditions, although my study is Buddhist Tantra.

So Tantra involves much more than sex?

Yes, there are many practices: methods for working with energy, images to contemplate, sacred sounds (mantra) to chant. The central goal is to realize the inherent beauty and perfection of the world and sacredness of all beings, including oneself. Romantic partnerships are a focus of Tantric practice because they are fertile ground for revealing the beliefs and emotions–the illusions–that cause us to suffer and act in ways that harm others. The goal is to see reality as it is and respond appropriately, with clarity and compassion, in a way that contributes to the evolution of the planet toward greater well-being and happiness for all living beings.

But sex is also a major part? Why?

Rather than something that detracts from religious life, sexual experience is a prime opportunity for spiritual cultivation if approached meditatively and as a yogic practice. The central purpose is to tap the cosmic energy that flows through the human body, heighten and concentrate the energy through sexual union, and then use the energy as fuel for spiritual transformation.

Tell me a little about a full-blown Tantric sex ritual as practiced by a serious practitioner?

I prefer the term “sexual yoga” to “Tantric sex.”  The practice is advanced and rather technical–a kind of inner “rocket science”–that incorporates mindfulness meditation, emptiness philosophy, yogic breathing, mantra recitation, visualization of deities and symbols, and movement of energy and inner fire (called kundalini) through the subtle yogic anatomy of channels and energy centers (chakras) along the spine.My book, Passionate Enlightenment, describes some practices–-ways to meditate and images to envision–to direct sexual union to spiritual ends.

Elevate Your Sex Life with Meditation

Are you craving a deeper connection to your lover?  Mind Body Green shows you 4 ways to take your sex life to the next level with meditation. 


Life is indeed like a box of chocolates. But here’s the question: are you fully appreciating what’s inside the box?

In other words, do you pop any of the chocolates into your mouth and finish in seconds? Or, do you take the time to look at the chocolates, figure out which flavor appeals to you most, and then experience eating it completely, activating all of your senses?

The automatic response is to go through life somewhat mindlessly. But when we take the time to look, listen, touch, smell and taste what’s available to us in this life, things get a whole lot better.

Sure, many of us incorporate superfoods like acai berries, maca, and even chocolate into our diets to healthily fuel us, I’ll argue that the most fun super-fuel is sex. Frequent great sex will boost your physical and emotional vitality, mental clarity and spiritual well-being.

The better quality the sex, the more empowered you will feel in all areas of your life. The best kind of sex makes us present, in touch with ourselves, and lets us be vulnerably, fully seen — both physically and emotionally “stripped down.” This is where meditation comes into play — literally!

Whether you’re a novice or expert in meditation, incorporating the practice into your sex life can put the “OM” into your “OMG!” Here’s why:

1. Meditation makes you realize the power of your mind.

And that recognition gives you sexual power. So why have the fast food version of sex when you can have decadent, transformative and energizing sex through your mindfulness practice? An intimate relationship allows us to rest and remove our daily armor and recharge, but too often we get in and out of the zone as if in a race to beat the commercials before resuming Game of Thrones.

When we make the effort to become more present with our sensory experiences, we realize the power of sexual energy. In fact, it’s one of the most readily available, internal forces that human beings have to harness their qi (life force).

Unleashing your inner Wild W.O.M.A.N.

I’ve promised to explore each of the letters in W.O.M.A.N, and so I want to begin with the “W,” wild.  When I speak of wild in all that I write, I am not speaking of the Girls Gone Wild, MTV version or the kind that emulates male promiscuity.  I speak of a primal wildness borne of the soul and rooted in our bodies.  It is a most crucial aspect of who we are as women, and sadly a place most never visit within themselves or share with another.  That other is the truly wild man (speaking as a heterosexual woman), and I’ll get to him a little bit later, but let’s focus on the Wild Woman for now.

As I often share from my life, I can speak about the Wild Woman from a place of deep personal knowing.  She is the creature that feeds and renews my soul, and always has been, even before I knew her name.  So often in my life people refer to me as a “creature,” and it always makes me smile, because it means that they can “see” that wildness in me, front and center.  There is a duality in us as women – a tenderness of heart and this wild creature.  We are socialized to love and treasure that heart, and burned at the stake when we celebrate the wildness.  As you read this, see if you can call up a memory, a time in your life that you felt truly free, alive and instinctual.  If you can, then you have known your Wild Woman.  But don’t despair if you haven’t.  She is and always has been with you.

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Of late, I’ve found myself ruminating on past relationships and realized that I have almost always let my heart, and not my Wild Woman choose my partners.  With the exception of one man, who was truly wild, they were not.  What I also realized is that because my Wild Woman was not part of that decision making process, but such a huge part of who Gina is, she ultimately was the one who made me move on.  I had not integrated her in my relationships, but she was fully present in my aloneness.  And so after what was usually several years, she would whisper or yell loudly, depending on my level of disconnect from her at the time, that she was bored and unfulfilled and would ultimately lead me out of every relationship of which she had not been a part from the beginning.  And then I would languish with her for a very long time in my aloneness.  This is part of the duality of which I speak.  Somehow we end up needing to be alone to feed her, and she will not go hungry, let me tell you!!!!!!  But having known one wild man, I know there are more.

Some women are afraid of their Wild Woman.  Many women experience her for the first time in dancing or in their sexuality.  Since society has tended to label us as promiscuous for enjoying our bodies and our sexuality (or witches!), most women subscribe to that in large or small part, and just send her packing.  But she will not be silenced for long.  For some reason in my own life, she has always been the voice I hear most clearly, and is the reason I crave freedom beyond all else.  I was never a woman who daydreamed about a wedding, and in actuality saw marriage as a prison for women.  I feel my wildness in my very core, and would rather be alone than to be with a man who is not truly wild.

So what is true wildness versus the idea that wildness equals naked bodies acting crazy?  We have all seen nature programs on TV.  When you watch wild cats or wolves stalk, hunt and devour their prey, you don’t judge them or call them bad.  You recognize that this is nature; natural, wild and pure,  that those animals are acting instinctually.  They don’t judge themselves or their actions.  They are simply free and true to what they are.  They live as their nature instructs them, through all of their senses.  They eat when hungry, sleep when moved to, have sex when it feels natural to.  They are naked and wild.  To live in harmony with our instincts and our senses, animated by our souls is what I speak of as wildness.
Does it make your heart race to see wild animals hunting one another?  Yes, but it is survival and it is part of being wild.

I love not knowing what I’m going to do next.  That might sound peculiar, but it’s the truth.  Living in total harmony with my Wild Woman means I don’t know what’s next.  I am a slave to the drives and hungers of my body most of the time, and what those are vary from day to day. Needless to say, being this way can scare people – men specifically.  My daughter also tells me that I scare her sometimes because I am unpredictable, though  not in a bad way.  What I have learned is that in honoring her, my Wild Woman, I can live, really live free.  Whenever I feel imprisoned in my life, it is because I have not fed and cared for Her.  And when I do, I am electric, fearless and attract-ive.

One of my favorite books is “Women Who Run With the Wolves,” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.  It is filled with stories about the various aspects of our instinctual natures as women.  She speaks of the duality of woman in this way: “Anyone close to a wildish woman is in fact in the presence of two women; an outer being and an interior criatura(creature), one who lives in the topside world, one who lives in the world not so easily seeable.  The outer being lives by the light of day and is easily observed.  She is often pragmatic, acculturated, and very human.  The criatura, however often travels to the surfaces from far away, often appearing and then as quickly disappearing, yet always leaving behind a feeling: something surprising, original, and knowing.”

She is the part of you that is inspired and unpredictable.  She is the part that draws people to you in an inexplicable and compulsive way.  They don’t know what it is about you, but they can’t take their eyes off of you.  She is the part that makes you feel comfortable in your own skin, especially when you are naked.  If you feel at all afraid of this part of yourself, please don’t!!  You must simply remember that she is YOU.  You can begin to get to know her at any time.  How?  It’s really very simple, as she requires little to feel fed.  Sensuality is a very big part of the Wild Woman, as it is in the animal kingdom.  Pay attention to how you move through space, what you smell, what you see, how things taste and feel, what you hear, and what you sense.  That sixth sense is so present in animals, and it is in woman as well.  Simply begin to explore it.  I suggest picking one sense a day and zeroing in on it as much as you can throughout the day, until you can begin to integrate all of them at once.  Eat with your hands.  There is something very sensual and primal about using your hands to put food into the mouth – yours or someone else’s. Let your hair down!  Seriously, if you tend to wear it up or control it with clips and bands, let it be free.  Try to stay as close to your natural state of beauty as possible.  For example, I have very curly hair, thanks to my ancestral gumbo.  When I have occasionally decided to wear my hair straight, I’ve found that I can’t take it.  It makes me feel contained and restrained!  I end up washing it by day’s end to get back my curls.  They are how I was born and they are a part of my integral wildness.  Find yours!  This may sound cliched, but take off your clothes and walk around naked.  Love your body as a woman’s shape, and let go of self-judgment about that size and shape.  Find some music that is dripping in percussion and dance to it until you are dripping in sweat. Move your hips, move your hips, move your hips!!!  They are the seat of a woman’s soul.   There is nothing like drums to bring you to your wildness and your primal truth.  And make sounds from your throat, especially when you are having sex, but when you are dancing, too.  When your hips are moving, let the sound move from your throat and past your lips.  Hips and lips are intimately connected.  A woman’s whose hips are free, can also express herself freely verbally.  There is an esoteric connection between the throat and the vagina.  To open them both is to achieve ecstacy – and to share it with your partner.  Estes offers this in her book: “The way to maintain one’s connection to the wild is to ask yourself what is it that YOU want.  This is the sorting of the seed from the dirt.  One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon to us and things that call from our souls.”

There could not be a discussion about wildness in its true, primal sense, without sex being part of that.  To really express it, we must free ourselves in our sexual expression.  That means that we need to have a partner that respects and understands our sexuality.  If you are wild and free and he is not, then you will not be able to go where you would like to.  If your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, or where you are  with your current sexual expression, it will not work.  Respect and trust in bed is primordial.  Be sure that you enforce your own boundaries, so that you can attempt to arrive at a place of no boundaries together.  Love and sex are unquestionably the best of all, as long as both lovers are free.  I really believe that love is a free spirit, and one must be free to embrace it, for the spirit of love dies in captivity.

And finally a few words about the Wild Man.  Not the promiscuous dog we all hear about.  Not the man addicted to pornography.  He is the Wild Woman’s mate, truly, and a very rare find.  I believe that men are looking for and long for him as much as we long to love and connect with our Wild Woman.  I just think they are lost and confused for the most part, as they are trapped in society’s imprisoning ideas of masculinity.  Here is what Clarissa Pinkola Estes says about the Wild Man: “We know that the creature, Wild Man, is seeking his own earthy woman.  Afeared or not, it is an act of deepest love to allow oneself to be stirred by the wildish soul of another.  In a world where humans are so afraid of “losing,” there are far too many protective walls against being dissolved in the numinosity of another human soul.  The mate for the wildish woman is the one who has a soulful tenacity and endurance, one who can send his own instinctual nature to peek under the tent of a woman’s soul-life and comprehend what he sees and hears there… so, the wildish task of the man is to find her true names, and not to misuse that knowledge to seize power over her, but rather to apprehend and comprehend the numinous substance from which she is made, to let it wash over him, amaze him, shock him, even spook him.  And to stay with it.  It will make her eyes shine.  It will make his eyes shine.”

We all know the expression that men are dogs.  Well, they are, but on a soul level, it’s a compliment.  Wild Man’s dog nature is his instinctual nature, that which allows him access to the Wild Woman.  Estes says, “It is the dog-self that learns to overcome superficial seductions and retain the most important knowings…the dog is one entire side of man’s dualistic nature.  He is the woods nature, the one who can track, who knows by sensing what is what”    (about Wild Woman.)

I’ve had these dreams lately about dogs.  I’m not much of a dreamer by night.  I think Carlos Casteneda would call me a stalker.  Usually I just crash.  My mind is so active by day, and so when I dream, I pay attention.  I’ve seen the dog nature of man in these dreams, and it’s not the colloquial slur.  They represented a deep love from the heart, a love that flows easily and long, forgives effortlessly and can fight to the death to protect you.  These are qualities that, to me, are very appealing in a man.

So find your Wild Woman.  Make regular dates with her.  Integrate her into the fullness of your life.  Let her scare you, but don’t walk away from her.   You can’t.  When we choose not to know Her, our lives fall apart and we lose touch with what it means to be a W.O.M.A.N.  Love her and let her love you.  She is pure, wild beauty.

If you’d like to take the first step to awakening your wild W.O.M.A.N., please join me for a 2-hour interactive webinar that will change your relationship to how you feel in your body, ELEVEN TOOLS TO HELP YOU LOVE THE BODY YOU LIVE IN.

And please share this post if it moved you…or made you feel like getting on all fours…

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With fierce, wild love,

Gina Cloud

Ways to Feel More Confident and Sexy

It’s not just about attracting someone — real sexiness is the total confidence that can make you feel smarter, funnier and better in every area of your life. Here’s how to be a bit more like that every day.


A FOR EFFORT
“Feeling confident about your appearance is the first step to genuine sex appeal,” says says Eve Marx, author of Beddington Place: Watch Your Back, Cover Your Tracks and contributor to thirdage.com. Give yourself permission to invest in how you look — whether that means a visit to the makeup counter or a new haircut. It’ll change what’s inside, too.

GET OUT OF TOWN
Take an art class. Or book a last-minute weekend getaway. “Novelty is the greatest aphrodisiac,”says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., and founder of mypleasure.com. When you live in the moment, anything’s possible — and that’s exciting, and sexy.

TOUCH YOURSELF
After a hot shower, massage your body with lotion, instead of just slapping it on. Or give yourself a relaxing neck rub. “I brush my skin with a soft brush every morning when I wake up,” says Mary McGuire-Wien of New York City. “It makes my skin feel much more alive.” Natural health advocates believe that dry brushing reduces toxins, sloughs off dry skin, and may help fight cellulite.

CHANGE IT UP
Play up your eyes with a new eyeliner, or try a different gloss on your lips. Or, if you normally go natural, put on heavy mascara. “When you feel beautiful, you feel sensual,” says Debbie Mandel, author of Turn On Your Inner Light. Take the extra three or four minutes to primp yourself and feel pretty — just for you.

MOVE THINGS AROUND
Part your hair on the other side, a teeny move that has a whopping effect. Oh, and every once in a while, you’ll have to toss the falling strands back – and you know the coquettish hair toss does to men.

ALL BUTTONED UP
Wearing something with lots of buttons will naturally turn undressing or a wardrobe change into a striptease as you linger over each button.

READ SOMETHING RACY
Just knowing you’re reading something risque in public sure to give you a teeny confidence boost. “Erotic novels give women ideas.” Says Marx. “They respond to stories that fires up their imagination.” Mr. Grey, here we come.

GET BUSTY
When was the last time you invested in a good bra? “Most women are wearing the wrong bra,” Marx says. “Don’t be scared to spend money on good lingerie. The right foundation will make you feel like a million bucks.”

TAKE IT SLOW
Slow-dance. Really close. Fitting together so snugly and swaying in sync is unbelievably sensual and intimate. It’s almost like making love.

BACK TO BLACK
Wear slightly smudgy black eyeliner for that smoldering temptress look. Appearing slightly unkempt — as if you just had a roll in the hay — is incredibly provocative.

YOU FLIRT!
Honestly, when was the last time you really doted on your guy? Forever ago? Well, pretend he’s a new beau and chuckle at his jokes, suggestively touch his forearm and make coy comments. You’ll feel kittenish — the way you did when you first started dating.

GO AU NATUREL
Every now and then, take a break from blow drying and styling your hair. That slightly tousled, sexily untamed mane will bring out your wild side.

ACT OUT
Ever wish you were Joan Holloway from Mad Men or Eva Mendez any day of the week? Pretend to be them! “It’s fun to get out of your head and role play,” Marx says. Next time you’re in a funk and want to feel sexier, emulate your favorite leading lady, and feel your confidence skyrocket.

LOOK HIM IN THE EYE
“How do you ask for sex,” wonders Catherine Cardinal, Ph.D., author of The Ten Commandments of Relationships? “You probably mumble it with downcast eyes — couples make less eye contact as years go by. Look directly at him the next time. It’ll remind him of the days when he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”

HAND OVER FOOT
Get in touch with your body by treating yourself to a sensual foot massage. You have thousands of nerve endings in your feet, and stimulating every one will send bolts of electricity through you. Start with your thumbs in the center of the bottom of your foot and walk them up toward your big and pinkie toes so they’re gradually moving away from each other. Then, alternating thumbs, stroke along your arch. Finally, massage each toe, rubbing from bottom to top while pulling it slightly and rotating it in a circle.

LACE UP
Just because it’s winter and you’re all bundled up doesn’t mean you can’t expose yourself a little. “Invest in nice tights,” Marx says. “Great hosiery is a boost to feeling sexy.”

PEEP SHOW
Don a silky cream-colored bra (no padding, please). Your guy will go gaga seeing the outline of your nipples through the glossy, smooth material – and it’ll be a whole lot more comfortable than some lacy number.

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE, DOUBLE YOUR FUN
“Add the element of doubling,” says Barbara Keesling, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. “Hold his kiss for twice as long. Take twice as much time to unbutton every button.”

LIGHT UP YOUR NIGHT
Light a scented candle in your den or break out those candlesticks for a romantic dinner. Candlelight casts a warm, cozy glow over everything and everyone in the room and is so much more flattering than harsh lightbulbs. You will — literally and figuratively — see yourself in a new light.

HERE KITTY, KITTY
You may not be auditioning for an ingenue role, but it’s fun to pretend! While he’s watching you, arch your back so your butt sticks out seductively, lengthen your arms up over your head so your exposed stomach is pulled taut and reach for the heavens. It’s invigorating…and titillating. The worst that happens: you giggle and come away with a cute story.

MAKE A RUN FOR IT
Just casually run your hands over your hips as if you’re smoothing down your skirt or pull the neck of your top over toward your shoulder and adjust your bra strap. These moves are so feminine, you’ll feel like a total sexpot. Plus, men go crazy watching a woman caress her own skin.

ROCK A SPECIAL PERFUME
Is there a perfume that reminds you of a particularly spicy night with your man? Wearing that certain scent throughout the day will act as an aphrodisiac, making you feel and smell sexy.

FLIRT HARMLESSLY
We know you love your husband, but sometimes it’s an ego boost to get a little harmless attention from someone other than your man. “Innocent flirting is meant to make you, and hopefully the other person, feel a little bit better about yourselves. Just be careful who you engage in this recreational flirting with,” Marx says. “Keep it light, keep it brief, and most of all, don’t do it at work.”

WALK IT OUT
How can you not feel hot-to-trot when you strut your stuff? The how-to: Loosen up your hips and let them swing from side to side; if you put one foot right in front of the other, it’ll force you to naturally sway. Remember to stand up straight and stick out your chest a bit. And heels (even low ones) do wonders for a woman’s sashay.

FEEL THE BEAT
Not a good dancer? Who cares? Turn on your favorite tunes and just let go. “When you move your entire body to a beat, you start to love how it feels and embrace what your body can do,” says Vanessa Isaac, the creator of Hip Brazil Dance and Fitness. “Awakening your inner rhythm awakens your sensuality.”

SLEEP IN THE NUDE
Just because you’re going to sleep doesn’t mean you can’t take a few minutes before bed to indulge in some sexiness. “Take a shower before bedtime, then skip the PJs or nightgown,” Marx suggests. “There’s something undeniably erotic about slipping freshly shaved, bathed and moisturized, naked between the sheets.”

DING, DING
Make a pact with your husband to set tomorrow’s alarm 30 minutes earlier, and rise and shine for some naked cuddle time before the day overwhelms you.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Tantra: Much More Than Crazy Sex Positions

What is Tantra? “What happens for me when the heart and sexual energy come together?”


This was the fifth time I had done the workshop. I was lying on the floor, on my back. There was a bit of verbal guidance while my partner applied slow pressure to my legs. Eventually, she came up to my lower belly where she placed her hands. After a couple minutes, she put her chest on my lower belly/genital area.

“What happens for me when the heart and sexual energy come together?” That is, “What is the relationship between these two energies in me?” This was the question I was opening to in this moment (so, too, my partner).

As I had done the workshop numerous times, I’d had many human hearts touching this area, the doorway to my sexual energy. There was soft, simple music in the background. The meditation was guided such that everyone would come to this point of the meditation at around the same time.

My partner gently put her chest on my lower belly and left it there for a few moments. All of a sudden, my eyes popped wide open as I felt surges of energy rushing through my body. A pure, sweet, super alive and intense feeling writhed from the point of contact and opened up into my body. It was as if I was getting injected with a pure, sweet, powerful nectar — the nectar of life.

It happened a few more times during the course of a few weeks at that workshop. That was two years ago. I’ve had similar experiences spontaneously in the past year, but even more intense and without any precipitating outer, physical stimulation (just alone in a parking lot or in my room).

What to exactly make of these experiences, I don’t really know. There isn’t a framework for it that I grew up with; I was raised in Texas in a conservative, fundamentalist, Korean Southern Baptist church. But it all makes sense within the context of Tantric philosophy and practice.

In the West, the word Tantra has come to denote deep, mystical sex, 20-minute orgasms or creatively contorted coital positions. This association between Tantra and sex and orgasm, misses so much of the basic essence of Tantric practice and philosophy, and I hope to clear some of the confusion in this article.

Let me just say here that I am no expert on Tantra, nor do I practice it in any formal way (the workshop mentioned above was not officially a Tantric workshop). Those who know and have studied Tantra may have more to say about its ins and outs, but I’m not going for a technical explication of Tantra here.

I’m offering my perspective, which comes from my experience. I’ve been immersed in spiritual teachings, been an avid meditator and yoga practitioner, travelled through India and have dabbled in a variety of different spiritual modalities for the past five years.

I’ve also studied psychology for over a decade, and have a master’s degree in counseling from a school that is based in Eastern philosophy and spirituality, the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS). The workshop (which I’ll get more into later) was actually a class I took in graduate school.
Recently, I lived with a Tantrica (a Tantric yogi or practitioner), and it became clear to me that a lot of things I had come to realize on my path directly correlated with Tantric philosophy — at least in how she held it. This realization led me to write this article.

Initiate Your Intimacy Needs

Are you looking for answers on how to spice up your love life? There are ways you can do to increase emotional intimacy in your relationship.


Here are 7 tips to help you relax with someone special

Increase Emotional Intimacy in Relationships

“It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.”Jane Austen

“He was as remote as the dark side of the moon. When he left, I returned his mail, having written on the envelopes ‘Never known at this address’. Because although we were married for nine years, I really do feel I never really knew him. And he didn’t know me at all.”

Strange one, this: how can we live with someone, see them every day, sleep with them (Biblically and otherwise), share all kinds of experiences, but still not feel emotionally intimate with them? Candice was telling me the reasons why she felt she’d had to divorce her husband.

“It wasn’t that he did anything wrong. It’s just that he doesn’t really do intimacy; looking back, we were never close.”

As she spoke, I pondered what ’emotional intimacy’ really means.

Getting emotionally intimate

Emotional intimacy is a sense of closeness to another person; a real sense of two-way empathy. When we’re emotionally intimate, we can share personal feelings, display affection, and not be dismissed or judged harshly but accepted ‘in the round’.

I love the idea that a real friend “is one who can see straight through you and still enjoy the view.” And some romantic partners describe their special person as their ‘best friend’ – a perfect combination of physical and emotional intimacy.

Emotional intimacy can exist between friends, family relations, and lovers. Some people even feel emotional intimacy with their pet. There’s no doubt that a sense of shared intimacy is important for both mental and physical health (1).

So you have intimacy when you feel spontaneous, natural, and trusting they feel as connected to you. But it goes deeper than that.

A sense of shared perception

I think emotional intimacy is also a sense of seeing life through the same eyes, sharing experiences in similar ways and feeling connected in knowing what one another would probably think about something, as in: “John would have loved this…”

Emotional intimacy is so important; but what if you find it difficult to let yourself feel close and intimate? Perhaps you find it difficult to relax and be intimate with people, even when you’ve known them for a long time. These emotional intimacy tips should help you to connect more deeply with people in your life.

Sex and Yoga Combined Equals Orgasmic Enlightenment

Sex and yoga have a lot in common. They’re both about opening and stretching into new places. Going deep inside yourself to find strength and endurance you didn’t know you had. Softening and letting go to remove your civilized layers and return to yourself.


You can use each to amplify the power of the other.

I went on a remote yoga retreat with my lover last fall. It was life-changing. I was cracked open wider and wilder than I have ever been before.

The combination of having a full week devoted just to us, quantum-leaped our connection. Doing yoga together daily stretched the crusty parts of us open and dissolve. Being immersed in an off-the-grid experience (no electricity, sleeping in open-air villas) reconnected us to our natural rhythms.

Sex is part of your natural rhythm.

Like yoga, the more you commit to it, and trust it and learn to let go, it will transform you. The little parts of you that get in your way, your defenses, your ego and chatter mind, can all be dissolved through a powerful yoga session.

Or an hour of life-shifting sex.

I recommend taking a weeklong sex date several times a year to get out of your routine, and into each other. You will revitalize your selves, cells and relationship.

In between those weeks, you can maximize your time in yoga classes and during your weekly sex dates.

Here’s where sex and yoga come together:

1) What happens in bed and on the mat carries out into life. What I love about yoga, is the microcosm. I physically open, stretch and cultivate a practice of letting go. When I leave the class, I feel more open, patient and relaxed.

Sex has the same impact on me: when I am assertive and strong in bed, it strengthens my assertiveness and strength in life. The more I allow myself to receive pleasure in bed, the more open to it I am (and expect it) in my day-to-day existence.

2) Sex and yoga rebirth you. Yoga helps you to leave your ego and the constructed parts of yourself behind. The more you practice, the more you relate to the world from a natural, un-self-conscious place.

After cataclysmic sex, I stumble out of the bedroom and the world feels new. I feel new. This is one of the major reasons why I am such an advocate for the spiritual and therapeutic benefits of sex: it transforms us.

There is a good reason why we call orgasm “la petite mort.”

3) Sanctuary. We all need a place to retreat. We take off our armor, sigh, and are held. Yoga gives you a space to unwind your tension and sink deep into yourself.

Sex does this twofold: you open and sink into yourself and into another person.

4) Breath is key. In yoga, the poses are a vehicle to move the breath. Yoga is like a breath-bath. Every nook and cranny of your being gets cleansed. The breath unclogs stuck energy and gets your system flowing optimally again.

During sex, breathe as consciously and fully as you would during yoga. The breath carries potent, sexual energy (even stronger than regular “chi” or “prana”) throughout your body, rejuvenating and healing you in the process. Deeper breathing also leads to full-body orgasms, multiple orgasms and stamina-building in men.

5) Balancing out with the feminine. Yoga is fantastic for getting you into your archetypal feminine energy: learning how to flow, be receptive and surrender.

In our busy, modern lives, most of us live from our “masculine.” We do more, stay active and driven in order to achieve. We forget that learning to open, attract and receive can be as powerful for getting things done.

The art of surrender is the key to powerful sex. Both sexes can tap into the state of learning how to receive, and how to be.

6) Flexibility in mind and body. The best sex is borne out of an open, non-judgmental way of being: everything is accepted. Plus, the physical ability to hold challenging yogic postures clearly transfers into a talent for marathon sex.

It goes both ways: the ability to cultivate four-hour orgasms will strengthen your yoga practice.

7) Pelvic power. Yoga tones the pelvic floor, bringing more conscious awareness. You will improve sexual sensitivity and boost your orgasmic potential and control.

Sex and yoga help to lubricate the hips and the heart: both crucial tools for day-to-day living and loving. Use both as tools to breakthrough to a state of yo-gasmic bliss.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article