The History of the New Year’s Kiss

December 30, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Why do we feel the need to smooch someone on the last night of the year?

When I began to think about New Year’s Eve, I wondered about why it’s customary to kiss a special someone while Auld Lang Syne plays in the background.

Here is a brief history of the New Year’s Kiss, with some personal anecdotes thrown in.

The Beginning of the New Year’s Kiss

New Year’s kiss traditions began in ancient Rome. They would throw a party on New Year’s Eve for the Festival of Saturnalia. Kissing and lots of reckless behavior would ensue. Sound familiar to New Years past?

Speaking of Saturnalia, the festival is partly to blame for the kissing under the mistletoe tradition. People would kiss under the plant in ancient Greece as it was associated with fertility and in Rome, it represented peace.

Later, English and Germans would kiss the first person they met at midnight on New Year’s Eve. The story behind this is that the first person you came across in the new year sets the tone for that year. This thought scares my anxious mind! If you knew your New Year’s kiss back then, superstition was that your smooch would sustain your new romance and made you closer to your loved one.

Europeans have also held masquerade balls on New Year’s Eve. Back then, masks were symbols of evil spirits from the previous year and when they were removed and the person was kissed, it was a cleansing act.

If you’re single and often feel left out on December 31st, you could always head to Scotland. Their celebration, called Hogmanay, involves kissing everyone in the room. The effort is to have people meet each other and perhaps might make single people feel more involved.

My Thoughts on the Tradition

I must confess, I’ve never been that big of a fan of New Year’s Eve. I think there’s always such anticipation for something huge and it almost always ends in disappointment. I’ve found so much more love and coziness at home. In fact, I’ve spent every New Year’s Eve at home with my family.

The last few years, my boyfriend has joined us and there’s nothing more romantic to me than curling up by the fire with him and our bulldog Moe as we watch the ball drop in Times Square. We do have a quick New Year’s Eve peck (hey my parents are usually there too!). That laid-back type of New Year’s has become my favorite way to spend the evening. I feel very loved on those New Year’s Eves surrounded by family.

However, that being said, my dream is for one year (just one!) to attend a New Year’s party much like the two Harry and Sally attended in my favorite movie When Harry Met Sally.

Movies and New Year’s Eve Kisses

Speaking of When Harry Met Sally, the New Year’s Eve scene will always hold a special place in my heart. It was the scene an ex-boyfriend used back in college to tell me how he felt about me. It always made me keep some magic alive about New Year’s Eve—and to understand the romance of it all.

Then there’s Bridget Jones’s Diary. I have always had a soft spot for the big end scene with one of the most romantic New Year’s Eve kisses ever. When Bridget Jones runs out half naked to Mark Darcy to finally share a passionate kiss, it’s everything. I’d like to think any New Year’s cynics are changed when they watch this scene.

Movies and New Year’s Eve Kisses

New Year’s Eve 2018

If there’s one thing I learned about New Year’s Eve is that you don’t have to be with someone to feel love. I have spent approximately six December 31sts in a relationship and the other 27 single. When I was old enough to date and single, I loved spending the last night of each year with people I love. Kissing someone like your parent on the cheek can be just as meaningful as kissing a significant other. Sometimes a little reminder about how much you are loved, no matter who the person is all you need. Happy New Year, LoveTV!

Want to read more on relationships? Check out this piece about not letting your insecurities get the best of you.

Preparing for my First Christmas as a “Mrs.”

December 18, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

How the holidays have changed after getting married.

Just five months ago, my long-term boyfriend and I finally got married. After a big wedding and an extended honeymoon, we’ve been looking forward to a relaxing holiday season.

We spent nine Christmases together as boyfriend and girlfriend, so we thought we knew what to expect of the celebrations. But as Christmas approaches (and with holiday parties getting underway) we’re starting to realize that this year, the season will be a lot different than before we were married.

From starting new festive family traditions, to tackling holiday time-management challenges, there are a lot of changes newly married couples should expect over the season. Here are some of the biggest changes to look out for.

1. Spending time with not two, but three, families

Lots of couples know the difficulties of splitting time between two families over the holidays. You and your honey are either stuck doing your own rendition of The Parent Trap by each spending all your time with your own family (but then missing each other all though the holidays) or you stick together but struggle to drive from your parent’s house to your partner’s, trying to save room in your stomach as you jump from feast to feast.

My husband and I faced this conundrum for years when we were dating, but now that we’re married it’s even more complicated. Not only do we feel pressured to see both sides of our family, but now there’s a third family we want to spend time with: our own.

Now, the two of us are our own family—so we want to spend time together on the holidays and maybe even start our own holiday traditions. This might include making breakfast at home on Christmas morning or watching holiday movies on Christmas Eve, but either way, more time at home will mean less time at our families’ and less time to travel from house to house. And while this might make for a challenge, taking the time to enjoy just being together is important, and will surely make for an extra special Christmas.

2. Expect questions about marriage (and babies) at family gatherings

Remember how you didn’t quite get enough time to talk to your great aunt Sylvia or your crazy cousin Bob at your wedding reception? Well, this holiday get-together is the moment they’ve been waiting for to ask you all kinds of questions about married life…and this time you don’t have a bouquet toss to escape to.

Not only will EVERYONE ask you when you’re going to start having babies (or, if you already have one, when you’ll have another) but they’ll also want to know about your marriage. Don’t be too surprised if questions get personal or if it seems like someone’s digging for gossip and first-year-of-married-life drama.

Most of my holiday party conversations go like this:

My family: “How’s married life?”

Me: “It’s amazing!”

My family: (slyly) “Good answer.”

Me: “But saying anything else would be a lie.”

My family: (slyly) “Another good answer.”

Me: “Okay…”

My family: “So, are you pregnant yet?”

People are just curious and want to hear updates on your lives together. Don’t let this bother you. Grab a glass of wine, enjoy time with your spouse, and enjoy telling stories from your first months as a married couple.

3. You’ll give less lavish presents

Before my husband and I got married, we saw gift-giving holidays as a great (albeit expensive) opportunity to impress each other. We’d both try to find the most fabulous gifts for each other and wrap them up in fancy paper.

But now that we’re married, it would be irresponsible to spend much money on things we probably don’t need. We share bills and expenses, and while we still want to find wonderful gifts for each other, cost does matter.

Gone are the days of buying fancy jewelry and tech gear. Instead, we’re getting creative: giving each other $15 or $20 price limits for presents or getting creative and crafting gifts. While it might not be as lavish as opening a pile of fancy presents, tt’s cost-effective and personal, which to me means it’s pretty perfect for a couple of newlyweds.

4. You can send out your own holiday cards

I used to think holiday cards were old-fashioned and unnecessary. I’m sure that in a time before Facebook it would be have been exciting to get a Christmas card from my cousin or old work friend. I could’ve learned what they did that year and gotten a family picture so that I could say “wow their kids have gotten tall.” But this isn’t the 80’s and if I want to see a picture of my extended family next to a Christmas tree, I’ll just open Instagram.

Then one day, my wedding pictures came in. I scrolled through them all on my computer and stopped on one particularly cute one of my husband and I looking at each other. “This would make a perfect Christmas card,” I thought. Before I knew it, I was ordering and addressing fifty cards. Maybe I didn’t think of myself as a big Christmas card sender before, but I love it when friends and family say “hey, I got your card! It’s so cute!”

Remember that a first family Christmas card is a fun way to use those wedding pictures, plus, it’s also a cute way to kick off your first holiday season as your own family.

5. Creating new traditions and ignoring others

Perhaps the most important part of celebrating the holidays after you’re married is creating your own traditions. It’s a time to embrace customs you love and ignore the ones you don’t like so much.

The tradition of decorating gingerbread cookies? Heck yes. The tradition of eating fruit cake? No thank you.

While before, you may have gone along with your family (or your partner’s family) traditions, now that you’re officially making a life together, you and your spouse can start thinking outside the box.

If you’re having trouble making up your own traditions, practice saying, “for christmas, my family does…” and then end the sentence with whatever you want. Do you want to rent bouncy castles every year? Do you want to watch Steve Martin movies and turn all the furniture upside down to make forts on Christmas Day? It’s your family and your chance to make the holidays your own.

After you’re married, the holidays can certainly be different, but they can also be amazing. You’ll have a partner to celebrate with and lots of memories to make. Look out for these changes, but most importantly, appreciate this happy time together.

The Best Books to Warm Up With This Holiday

December 11, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

If you think you need another body to stay warm, think again.

You never need an excuse to read, but if you do, winter is a whole season’s worth. The frigid temps and abundant snow, for some of us, stir up the need to get into a cozy nook with a good companion. Sometimes that companion is pages bound with a spine and covers. Need a book buddy this holiday? Here are some books that will awaken your senses and keep you warm, all on their own.

1. Like Water For Chocolate

is a rich marriage of food and love. Though adapted to a wildly successful film in 1992, the book holds its own merit. Tita is the youngest of three daughters, under a domineering mother in turn-of-the-century Mexico. When the love of Tita’s life marries her sister, Tita throws her passions into recipes for soups, cakes, and other foods that leave guests reeling with emotion. Tita’s touch in the kitchen is magical. Whether you’ve lost your first love, or still waiting for your first love, Laura Esquivel’s Like Water For Chocolate will certainly leave you steamy…and hungry! Curl up with a good, sharp cheese and a robust glass of red.

2. How Stella Got Her Groove Back

was also made into a box office success in the 1990s. The star of Terry McMillan’s novel is Stella, a successful, forty-something single mother in Marin County. Her big house feels empty while her son spends the summer with his father. On a whim, Stella books a trip to Montego Bay, promptly becoming enamored with a young local at working at her resort. Who happens to be half Stella’s age. How Stella Got Her Groove Back explores cougardom before it had a word. If images of tropical beaches and bright sun won’t warm you up, you can count on some heated love scenes (tastefully done, might I add.). Grab yourself some pineapple chunks for this one. Or hey, go for the whole pina colada.

3. Peel My Love Like An Onion

has summer written all through it, a welcome reprieve from winter. A disabled flamenco dancer reflects on her long-time love, an established, womanizing legend of the dance world. Carmen also welcomes a new love – her long-time lover’s nephew. Author Ana Castillo paints this love with the expected passion, along with compassion for her protagonist. You’ll be rooting for Carmen too, even as she does questionable things in the name for of love. Who among us hasn’t? Peel My Love Like An Onion is best enjoyed with some spicy hot chocolate. Maybe add a shot or two of Schnapps, if you really want to sink into it.

4. The Poet X

is an explosive read for anyone who remembers the intense yearning of adolescence. High schooler Xiomara butts heads with her religious mother, who seems to blame Xiomara for her fully-developed figure and the attention it draws. Xiomara builds a tough shield to defend herself against her mother, catcallers, and a world that’s often hostile for young girls. She finds solace in her school’s poetry club, penning her own verses. Xiomara also finds comfort in Aman, her love interest. She struggles to keep Aman and poetry club from her mother, but most things don’t stay secret for long. Written by Elizabeth Acevedo, a prominent slam poet, The Poet X is written in masterful verse. The Poet X would go well with your favorite forbidden fruit as a teen. Whether it’s beer or a Red Bull.

5. The Girls Guide to Hunting & Fishing

is a quintessential coming-of-age meets romance. Jane Rosenal spends her life feeling average. We see Jane as a daughter of a renowned surgeon, the little sister of a charming young brother, and later, a lowly editor at a big publishing house. Inferiority complexes follow Jane often, especially in her relationships. Readers follow Jane through her teens, twenties, and early thirties. This book was something of a revelation in the late 90s and early 2000s. While some parts are a tad dated, it still reads fresh today. I can relate to Jane’s search for self-fulfillment, both in her self and in the company of others. Enjoy The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing with something nostalgic and comforting. Or if you’re feeling like a girl’s night in, something light and bubbly.

Sweet Holiday Traditions for Two

December 6, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Fun and Romantic Traditions Just for You and Your Honey

My husband and I got married this year, and ever since we came back from our honeymoon, we’ve been talking about how excited we are for our first holiday season as a married couple. We’ll finally get to introduce each other as husband and wife at those big family gatherings, we’ll get to send out our first Christmas card together, and we’ll get to start our very own family holiday traditions.

There was just one problem: a lot of holiday customs we love (driving around the neighborhood to see the houses decorated with lights, going to the mall to see Santa, and writing up a gift wish-list) seemed more appropriate for a family with kids. I wondered if it would be difficult to find fun and festive traditions for just the two of us.

So, I contacted some friends and family to ask for their favorite “couple” traditions. What we found was amazing. We hear everything: from traditions that were romantic to super silly ones. I heard beautiful traditions that could help any couple grow in their marriage and modern family rituals that can be carried on even after having kids.

Here are 10 great holiday traditions you and your partner will love this holiday season—and for many years in the future.

1. A Movie Marathon…Featuring Any Movies You Want

A lot of people make a tradition of watching the same movies every holiday season, usually it’s something festive, like Love, Actually or The Muppet Christmas Carol, but when it’s just the two of you, you don’t always have to stick to the traditional, kid-friendly movies.

My husband has a friend who sits on the couch with his wife every Christmas Eve and watches the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy… (or at least they watch as much as they can before falling asleep). He says that every year is a little different: sometimes they order pizza and keep their movie night low-key, sometimes they decorate cookies through the evening, and once or twice they’ve invited friends over for the marathon. No matter what, he says they always have fun and it’s the thing he looks forward to the most during the holidays.

I love this tradition because it’s so easy to make it your own. When my husband and I heard this marathon idea, we were completely inspired. We decided to start our own tradition, every year we’ll watch a different iconic movie series: like Star Wars and The Hunger Games. This year we’re starting with The Godfather. We might not end up watching all the movies in one day, but we’re excited to add to our usual holiday movie lineup.

2. Love Letters to Open Christmas Morning

There’s nothing quite like reading a love letter from your honey, especially during the stress of the holidays.

I have a friend who found, early in her relationship, that she and her husband had more arguments during the holiday season. There would be disagreements about whose family to celebrate with, how much time to spend there, and how much money to spend on gifts. By the end of the year there’d be a lot of tension that wouldn’t dissolve until after the new year.

One year, the husband (then boyfriend) wrote my friend a little love note, saying how much he appreciated her all that year, and wrapped it with her christmas present. She was so touched by it that now, years later, they have a holiday tradition around it. Every Christmas they write each other little notes and leave them for the other to find on Christmas morning. Now they have kids so sometimes they read their letters on Christmas Eve after the kids are in bed, or Christmas day when the baby is down for a nap, but the tradition lives on.

While the love letter idea is wonderful in and of itself, I’d love to steal it and build on it. Perhaps collecting the notes form each year and putting them in a box or a book. Then after some time, maybe twenty years in the future, we could look back on all our Christmas love notes to each other and see how our love has grown.

3. List of goals for the new year

One of my friends from work says she and her long-term boyfriend don’t generally celebrate the holidays. However, over the past few years they’ve been making a tradition of writing a list of goals for the new year.

She says that some time at the end of the year, New Years Eve or maybe the day before, she and her boyfriend sit down together and make a list of things they hope to do over the next year. Some goals will be professional (like getting a new job or a promotion) some are personal (like taking a cooking class or going to the gym more) and they try to always include a few that are more relationship-focused. My friend says that the list-making isn’t always super romantic but she thinks that it helps bring the two of them closer together. They start the year reminded of each others’ goals and dreams, and that helps them understand each other better and continue to support each other.

4. Book Exchange

An old friend from college said that a few years back he learned there’s an Icelandic tradition where everyone in the family gets a new book on Christmas Eve and then spends the evening reading.

He loved the idea, and since he and his boyfriend are “book people” they decided to make a tradition of giving each other a new book every year for Christmas. Their tradition is a little different from the traditional Icelandic one, as they open their books on Christmas morning then sit down to read together on Christmas night, but he says he loves having some quiet time to sit together and read.

5. Christmas socks

My cousin’s family used to always get matching pajamas for Christmas. They’d open their plaid or snowflake covered pajamas on Christmas Eve and wear them all morning. Looking back, my cousin said he thought the tradition was a little “too 80’s” to continue, but I guess he still liked the gesture.

After he got married, he started getting his wife and himself matching fuzzy Christmas socks every year. Now they have kids and they’ve continued with the tradition (though he says he now has to go online to find matching socks that come in adult and kid sizes).

This tradition is so much fun… and versatile! If you and your significant other are sock lovers, this could be a perfect tradition for you. But if you’re a couple who likes to wear matching shirts, or if it’s cold where you live and you’d prefer matching mittens, you can apply this adorable tradition to anything you like.

6. Baileys and Hot Coco

A couple I know moved up to the mountains a few years ago, to a town where they expect snow every year. Being from the high deserts of southern California, they’re always amazed by the snow every winter. While it’s not necessarily an official holiday, they like to celebrate the first snow of the season by making plenty of Baileys and hot coco (with lots of whip cream) and simply sitting by the fire.

Being in a place where it never snows, I think this tradition is easily transferable to any time during the holidays: as a Christmas Eve treat, a drink to serve family after dinner, or even a new year’s toast drink.

7. Getting in the Kitchen Together

I have an old friend from college who would never hesitate to admit how bad her cooking was. She used to say that the only thing she could “make for dinner” were reservations.

Which is why I was so surprised to hear that she and her fiancé have a tradition where, on Christmas Eve, they set aside a few hours to try out a new dessert recipe. She says she always finds a recipe online for a unique dessert and the two of them try to make it. She says it’s so much fun to challenge themselves and she loves having alone time with her fiancé as they bake.

Still, she says that her favorite part of this tradition is saving recipes they like, and practicing making them again through the year. She hopes that one day, when they have kids, she can impress them by teaching them how to make fancy peach tarts or profiteroles.

While it’s fun to try a different recipe every year, it could also be fun to pick one signature dish (one that might be too difficult to make all the time) and make it for the holidays. It doesn’t have to be one of the more traditional desserts, like a pie or gingerbread cookies, either. Think outside the box by frying doughnuts or making apple strudel, it’s a great way to give the holidays your own personal touch.

8. Order In

While some may be trying to get better at cooking and baking, one of my husband’s old college friends has had about enough of it. He and his wife always host a big Christmas party a few days before the holiday and cook a feast for their friends. While they love cooking together, by the time the party’s over, they’re too tired to make anything for Christmas Day. A few years back they made a tradition of ordering a ton of Chinese food on Christmas Eve—and it stuck.

He says that every year he loves the holiday party they throw, but his favorite tradition is always sitting back and relaxing with a bowl full of noodles, watching TV and waiting for Christmas morning.

9. Volunteering together

A woman I used to work with said that she and her wife love to volunteer together every year. One year they helped stock shelves at a food bank, another year they helped plant trees, and another year they walked shelter dogs. She says that it’s so satisfying to give back, but she also loves the opportunity to spend time with her wife and do new activities together.

I think this is such a beautiful tradition that will not only bring happiness to others, but could strengthen your bond as a couple.

Of course, couples interested in volunteering don’t have to find a different charity every year, and they don’t have to feel like they have to stick with it through the seasons. Simply taking the time to go help at a local food bank, or pass out flowers at a retirement home at the end of the year, can make all the difference.

10. Decorate Your Tree With a New Ornament Each Year

One of my husband’s cousins says that one year she heard about a tradition of getting an ornament from wherever the couple vacationed that year. While she like that idea, she decided to do one better, and make their own ornaments that represent their favorite memories from that year. One Christmas they got a round piece of wood, drilled a hole in the top to put a string through, and wrote down their favorite memories from the year on the front and back of the ornament. The year they got married, they used two small glass panes to preserve a single flower from her bouquet.

She says they have so much fun getting creative and making ornaments every year, but what she loves about this tradition most is knowing that one day the tree will be full of dozens of amazing memories from years past.

There are so many ways to celebrate the holidays, and these traditions are only the beginning. You can change and update these traditions, or even combine some to make something completely new. The best part about creating your own holiday traditions as a couple, is your traditions can be uniquely… you!

6 Things Successful Couples Do to Appreciate a Significant Other

November 28, 2018January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

How do you show your partner that you appreciate them?

In a long-term relationship, feeling taken for granted sometimes is an easy trap to fall into. Most long-term couples find that occasionally the balance seems to shift, and one person takes on more of the labour, be it due to work commitments or a more gradual move into bad habits which become routine. We set out to find out how couples in long-term relationships stop their partners from feeling underappreciated by asking them “how do you show your partner they matter to you?”

“I do the chores they hate”

Far and away, domestic chores took the medal for being the most common demonstration of partner-appreciation. From taking the bins out, to doing the washing up, to changing the cat litter, household tasks were the biggest response. Not just any household tasks though; specifically the ones their partner most hated doing.

“I cook for them”

An unsurprising runner up – the way to everyone’s hearts, it seems, is through their stomach. Cooking a nice dinner when they’ve had a bad day, making breakfast every Saturday morning, and giving them the best bits of a meal all popped up as answers. It’s not just meals though; people also love buying chocolates for their significant other, or baking loaves of bread at the weekend, or making lunches for them to take to work. In the same vein, there’s also getting a takeout, and having someone else bring the food!

“I take them out on a date”

Ah, date night. This can fall by the wayside in a long-term relationship, especially as the weather cools and it’s nicer to stay indoors. But putting in a little bit of effort can go a long way. Some people said that they planned meals out – a date night with the added advantage of no dishes to clean afterwards. If there’s a film they’ve been wanting to see, you can have a couple of hours distraction-free instead of waiting for it to hit Netflix.

“I take care of them”

Letting the other person sleep in was a popular one, especially with new parents. An extra hour in bed in the morning might be more necessary than it seems, and helping out by getting up and taking care of the kids is a hugely symbolic gesture of appreciation. Imagine this doubled with breakfast in bed too! Care-taking gestures also included running them a bubble bath after a long day, and giving them a foot rub. Looking after someone is a great way of making them feel like they matter, and even more so if the gesture is acknowledging that they’ve had a bad day, or that they’re feeling a bit tired or run-down. Reminding them that they need to take some time for self-care is thoughtful, but going some ways toward carving out that time for them is even better.

“I buy flowers”

Everybody loves flowers, right? The problem is that they’ve come to symbolise apologies for wrongdoing, so flowers are sometimes a fraughtly given gift and have fallen out of favour a little bit. However, ‘Just Because’ flowers always go down well, because who doesn’t love a delivery of fresh blooms? Extra points for knowing their favourite flowers and including them in the bouquet. There were also people buying little gifts for no reason, too. Surprising someone with a gift they aren’t expecting, but that you know they’d love is a nice way of letting someone know that you value them, even if it’s something small.

“I send a text”

In our age of technology, we’re almost always connected, but an unexpected SMS or email is a nice gesture to let someone know that you’re thinking of them in that moment. Having someone pop up on your phone to randomly tell you that you’re on their mind is never a bad thing. It’s nice to be reminded that you’re thought of when you aren’t physically in the same room.

Overwhelmingly, though, it was the thought behind the gesture that meant more than the gesture itself – as much as foot rubs and flowers are lovely to receive, the feeling of being appreciated was far bigger than the action itself, and went much further.

What about you? Do you buy flowers, or are you more of a breakfast in bed person? What little things do you do to show someone you care?

How I’ve Related to Different Love Actually Characters As I’ve Aged

November 23, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

One of my favorite holiday movies for the past 15 years has had plenty of relatable characters

2003’s Love Actually is an ensemble romantic comedy that has been attempted to be duplicated many times but no other movie has quite lived up to its holiday perfection. Iconic characters like Laura Linney’s lovesick Sarah or shy schoolkid Sam to Mark, whose unrequited love for Juliet was heartbreaking were all memorable. Of course let’s not forget Natalie!

I’ve related to different Love Actually characters as I’ve aged. Here are just some of them.

Sam, age 18

Love Actually came out the Christmas after I turned 18. My newfound college friends from my floor in my dorm all got together and saw the movie at our neighborhood theater. We were delighted to be included in a video clip that the movie PR were filming for previews to get people to see the film.

While all that was fun, and I came out loving the movie, I was obsessed with Sam’s character at the time. The adorable blonde elementary aged child and I had a lot in common—he poured his heart into everything he did, most importantly his romantic interests. I truly felt for him and his love for Joanna.

I remember whispering to my roommate when Joanna was singing “All I Want for Christmas is You” and turns to Sam first. She then continues to point to just about everyone in the auditorium. Sam’s angry and shocked face that Joanna wasn’t serenading him was so me. I told my roommate, “Sam is so me!”

Throughout elementary school and high school I was always a friend for everyone but no one wanted to really be romantically involved. Looking back, I am glad that it all ended up being the way it was. That all being said, I still feel Sam’s pain because that was me growing up! I still wish I had the guts he did to (spoiler alert) kiss Joanna.

Natalie, age 23

Since I bought the Love Actually DVD it has been my tradition to watch it not only the weekend we set the clocks back (as a celebration of the holiday season to come) but multiple other times throughout the season. In my early 20s, I identified so much with Natalie. Sidenote: I’m still looking for a sweater and coat like she wore at the end of the movie!

Anyway, when she was starting out working for the Prime Minister and another female co-worker talked about her behind her back, I remember sighing heavily. That was me at one point when I was working full-time. Having to deal with female co-workers talking behind my back was something that weighed heavily on my self esteem at that age. I’ve since learned to put pettiness behind me.

Not to mention, at 23 I still had a sense of innocence where I still dreamed about what it would be like to be in love with a prime minister.

Mark, age 25

A few years later, I would tear up at the iconic scene where Mark declares his love for Juliet despite her being married to his best friend. While nothing like this has happened to me, I still felt for him. At one point when I was younger, I was in love with my two best friends (at two separate points in my life). While I am much happier with the way things ended up, at 25 I felt deeply affected by Mark and his unrequited love. To this day, I still admire his bravery for going to Juliet’s as a “carol singer” and declaring his love.

Sarah, age 27

As I got older and started dating more, I watched Love Actually and couldn’t help but laughing at the scene where Sarah invites Karl back to her apartment. The complete and utter giddiness of her character as she asks for a minute to freak out in private that a guy was there was so completely me.

Later, as we see them entering her bedroom she kisses and subsequently tosses her teddy bear underneath her bed. I’d be rich if I had a quarter for everyone who’s told me that is me over the years!

I felt like I could be friends with Laura Linney’s character, as I understood the painfully long process of getting to know a man then finally getting him on a date and then to your apartment.

Pageant teacher, age 33

This may be a random one but hear me out—I am a piano teacher and when I watch the movie again a few weeks ago, I identified with the harried teacher at the Christmas pageant in the snowflake sweater. When he introduces the children and says “for this, I am sorry” or something along those lines I couldn’t help but laugh.

You could tell the teacher loved his pupils and understood completely that kids are unpredictable—no matter how hard they may have practiced for the pageant, some of the children might fudge their parts.

I could imagine myself saying that to my own students’ parents at a recital, no matter how hard they practice something there’s always the possibility of something going wrong. However, I will love them unconditionally and am so proud of every one of them—even if Jingle Bells ends up sounding more like Jolly Old St. Nicholas!

Happy holidays, LoveTV readers!

Want to read more on relationships and the changing seasons? Check out this piece on moving on to a new season in love.

True LOVE Confessions by Sierra Mercier

November 15, 2018January 22, 2024 by Sierra Mercierin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Time for a confession…

I haven’t always been lucky in love. I mean, let’s be honest, few of us are. Love is a quest that requires training, it requires patience, and usually it involves devastating heartbreak. But it’s how we bounce back, it’s what we do with our circumstances that determines victory or defeat.

#METOO

When I was younger, I didn’t recognize my value, and this caused me to be vulnerable to situations where my value was taken advantage of. I was physically and sexually abused by a peer of the opposite sex, and I was sexually abused and assaulted by someone I trusted, someone in a position of authority, someone I looked up to.

Though the road to healing from these wounds has been long and windy, it’s my outlook, and choice to turn poison into medicine that’s enabled me to really work on loving myself, recognizing my value, and thus attracting the type of love that I truly deserve.

Girls, women, sisters… please hear me! Each and every one of you is a Goddess. Feel into that power, fuel that power with self love, self respect, and then share that love with the world. I promise you that if you do this, you will attract the most loving, healthy, happy relationships.

Out with the Old Season In Love

November 9, 2018January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

How our relationships are affected by the changing seasons

As we turn back the clocks and get ready for winter to really set in, autumn seems like a good time to give our relationships a little bit of a shake too – see what’s working, and what’s maybe getting a little bit stale. It’s easy to get into a cold-weather routine. Nights are longer, it’s cold outside, and it’s really much easier to close the curtains and stay indoors instead of venturing out. But that gets old pretty quickly. It’s a positive practice to let go of old things to make room for new growth, and this goes for relationships too. As the nights draw in, finding balance in your relationships can help lead into winter – creating new habits together and removing any blocks that might be stagnating your partnership.

Pay better attention

Listening to the other person is one of the most important features of a positive relationship. It works not only to make them feel like you care what they’re saying, but also means you both relate to each other more effectively, and that you find yourselves both more actively interested in each other. Paying attention is a quiet way of supporting your partner, and working on this as a skill can only ever be a good thing. Developing your listening skills can be as simple as putting your phone away when you’re talking, and making sure that you aren’t interrupting the other person. It goes both ways too, and you’ll usually find that if you make the effort to be a better listener to someone, they’ll reflect the same back to you. Most of the time, it’s about awareness, so head out to a quiet bar, leave your phone in your pocket, and make sure you’re spending some quality time with your partner.

Darker date nights

In the summer, it’s easy to be spontaneous. The sun is shining, it’s much nicer to spend time outdoors, and it’s easy to set up a last-minute barbeque or trip to the beach. As the daylight hours get shorter, we want to make the most of them, but accepting the darkness is an option too! Check out what’s going on where you live – there’ll be festive fairgrounds opening soon, and wrapping up to head out for mulled wine and fireworks is never a bad idea. When staying indoors is a better idea, check what’s on at local galleries or museums, where you can wander for a couple of hours. If that’s not your thing, lots of restaurants start switching to a winter menu, so you could make a list of places to try out together and find a new favourite spot.

Back to school

For better or worse, years of school mean that even as adults we are programmed to feel like the changing seasons equal new beginnings. This can spell disaster for relationships, especially ones that seem less exciting because you’ve settled in, but it doesn’t have to. Instead of lamenting the loss of learning, invest your time together in teaching yourselves something new. Many colleges offer six-week courses, or you can find all sorts of things on the internet. Enroll on a creative course, learn a language together, or try out something sexier, like a tantric workshop. Couples who participate in activities together find that their relationships are more rounded, and less likely to feel stagnant. Embarking on a new project together will mean you can both support each other as you go along, and you might find a new joint passion.

Build your nest

Of course, there’s always the option of actually embracing the feeling of wanting to stay inside and get cosy – and it’s always much nicer to netflix and chill with someone you love. There are some obvious benefits to staying in bed all winter, but there’s also another bonus: creating a wintery nest for you to hibernate in together! Cohabiting, or even just sharing a bed occasionally, is a good excuse to light some candles and stock up on cosy cushions and fleecey throws. Make a blanket fort for the two of you to hide in, and practice finding a balance together, ready for the winter.

Fall is a great opportunity to spend some time reevaluating your goals, and the best way to build your relationship is to talk through what you and your partner are looking for, together. Don’t be afraid to talk about stripping back old habits, to make room for the next exciting stages!

17 Affordable Dates to Celebrate Fall

October 31, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

After a long and hot summer, it’s time to celebrate fall with some cozy dates.

I’ve always enjoyed everything about fall. From pumpkins to bonfires to a new season of tv, there’s something cozy and fun about autumn.

Here are 17 affordable dates to ring in fall, from sweet to sexy.

1. Go pumpkin spice latte tasting.

Grab a pumpkin spice latte from area coffee shops near you. Bring them to a nearby park with the best fall foliage in town. Don’t forget a blanket and some pastries to eat while you sample. Hold your own pumpkin spice latte tasting together and see what shop’s drink you think is the best.

2. Check out a haunted house or haunted hayride.

This is a great idea for those who just started dating. When things get extra spooky, hold hands or put your arms around your significant other. There’s nothing better than holding onto each other during a frightening haunted house walk-through. Most are relatively inexpensive too.

3. Stay in bed all day and get your Netflix queue ready.

Make some warm pumpkin chocolate chip muffins (I personally love this mix from Trader Joe’s) and eat them in bed. Queue up a romantic movie and get snuggly. Don’t forget to plan this one for a particularly chilly day!

4. Use Halloween as an excuse to wear costumes in the bathroom.

Leave the dressing up as princesses and superheroes to the kids. Order some seriously sexy outfits for the bedroom—French maid, firefighter, you name it. Celebrate Halloween night by dressing up but keeping the tricks and treats confined to your bedroom only. The costumes don’t have to be expensive either. Amazon has sexy options and most are under $30.

5. Go camping for a weekend.

Dates that last the entire weekend are some of the most fun. Spend a weekend outside when the leaves are at their peak foliage. Camping is an affordable way to have some fun and there’s something just a little bit naughty about having a romp in the fresh air.

6. Visit a winery or brewery.

Head out to your closest winery or brewery on a gorgeous fall day. Most offer tastings or tours for affordable prices. Pack cheese, fruit and crackers for a picnic afterwards.

7. Go apple picking and bake a pie together.

Find out your nearest orchard and pay a visit for some apples. Once you’re home, bake a pie together. Make things just a little sexier with a little flour fight or perhaps licking some ingredients off each other’s fingers.

8. Celebrate Hygge by the fire.

Hygge, which is Danish for a cozy and comfortable mood of wellness and contentment, is a great concept to celebrate as fall ushers itself in. If you’re lucky enough to have a fireplace, get it going and curl up together for some serious snuggling time.

9. Shop your local farmer’s market.

Plan a cozy dinner date at home a la Harry and Meghan. Head to your local autumn farmer’s market and grab ingredients for dinner at home eat by candlelight.

10. Head to a local football game or tailgate.

Let’s face it—NFL games are super expensive. It’s sometimes more fun to tailgate during a game instead. If the NFL isn’t your favorite, visit your college alma mater or old high school for a game together.

11. Host a group date bonfire.

Find someone with a backyard and make sure you can burn. Roast marshmallows and make some s’mores or roast some hot dogs for an affordable and fun time wIth other couples.

12. Make a fort and watch a scary movie.

Channel your inner child and make a fort together like you did when you were young. Snuggle up together and turn on a scary movie. At the jump scares, hold on extra tight to your significant other.

13. Go on a scavenger hunt.

When the weather cools off, it’s fun to get out in your city or town. Look for a nearby scavenger hunt and sign up together. See if you two can win the whole thing.

14. Head to a mystery dinner theater.

A mystery dinner theater is a great way to usher in fall and Halloween season. Get dressed up and ready to have a spooky good time.

15. Carve pumpkins and have some apple cider.

Go to your nearest pumpkin patch and grab some pumpkins and apple cider. Spend the evening together and see who can carve the best pumpkin. Roast some pumpkin seeds after and feed them to each other as you admire your handiwork.

16. Go stargazing.

Borrow a friend’s pickup truck (or use your own if you have one) and head out to the country. Snuggle up together for a night under the stars.

17. Rake leaves and jump into the piles.

Rake the leaves in your yard and when you’re done, jump in the piles. Fall’s version of a snowball fight is a good, old-fashioned and flirty leaf fight.

Fall weather is the best for dating. We tell you why with this piece.

Four Times My Emotional Intelligence Helped Me Make Smart Dating Decisions

October 26, 2018January 22, 2024 by Ola Faletiin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Because sometimes your IQ isn’t enough.

Dating in 2018 can be tricky territory. Between getting ghosted, fielding unsavory Tinder hookups, and a whole gamut of other things, it’s hard to remember how to date healthily. By dating healthily, I mean being open to building new relationships and meeting new people. I also mean knowing when to end a situation that won’t give you what you want.

Emotional intelligence is a buzzword these days. While I won’t call myself an emotional genius, I can think of ways that my emotional intelligence guided my decision-making in the dating realm.

1) Be a good judge of character

On Tinder I met this man, once. He had a beautifully bushy beard and was extremely attractive. On our first date we met at a bar in December, sitting near an open fire. We talked, but really, HE talked. A lot: about his daughter, about his Ph. D program, about his undergraduate experience, about his studies in Afrocentric thought. All that talking he did should’ve been a red flag. We met subsequently after and he literally charmed the pants off me. The physical intimacy was a stellar encounter that I replayed in my head for weeks. But something clicked the fourth time we met – this guy was a self-involved asshole. All he cared about was talking about his life and trying to prove me wrong at every turn. Trying to undermine my intelligence because I was, in his words, “a baby” (we had an eight-year age difference).

It’s easy to get caught up in good sex (“dickmatized” is one of my favorite words). But I do consider myself a solid judge of character, even if it takes a few dates. I read the tone of his voice when he was about to say something condescending. I read his barely-concealed sighs when I would retort with my own rebuttals. It was the body language of someone who didn’t take me seriously.

2) Have Self-Awareness

To be a good judge of character, one must know thyself. Which means knowing strengths, weaknesses, what you want and what you definitely don’t want. B was someone I went out with two years ago. He was a sweet and chivalrous type, always opening doors and insisting on paying when we went out. He treated me and my body with respect. The problem was that we had different ideas of how often we should see each other. Once every three-four weeks was enough for him. I could have gone out with him longer, had I been looking for a noncommittal situationship. With age, I’ve learned that I’m not a casual type of girl. And I hate gray area. That sealed my decision to end things at the three-month mark.

Being alone is better than settling for what you don’t want. Having a clear idea of who you are and the things you find important should always be at the forefront of your quest for romance.

3) Know when to apologize

The learning curve was big when I was in my first relationship. He was a friend first, one that I had intensely crushed on for months before mustering the courage to tell him my feelings. I thought that would be the hardest part. Nope. The hardest part was managing expectations. Even together, I felt like I was still pining for his attention. All I could think about was the attention he wouldn’t give me. I didn’t stop to think how he might feel until we talked things out (right before he dumped me, but it was useful nonetheless). He felt like I pressured him at times. “You just think about what you want, and not what I might want.”

A light bulb came on. He was right. I apologized for my lack of consideration. Our dating was new for him too; he had never gone out with a woman before. I think about that first relationship a lot, as brief as it was. Not being able to relinquish the ego holds you back from a lot of lessons.

4) Don’t Hold Grudges

Feeling like someone wronged you hurts. I get that. My summer 2017 wasn’t the best, partially because of an almost-romance gone sour. I say “almost-romance” because we weren’t dating per se, just two friends exploring what it was to be more than friends, living in the gray “friends with benefits” territory. The things that happened between us made me see him in a different light. I found him flaky, unreliable, and sending mixed messages left and right. The tipping point was when he abandoned me at a time I needed a friend the most.

It would be easy to resend him forever, to fall into a victim narrative of how he treated me badly. Of how much he sucks and how I’ll never trust him again. But a) that’s exhausting and b) serves no one. He was dealing with some personal turmoil, and nobody’s at their best when they’re trying to keep their head above water. I understand that. Most importantly, I understand how much lighter my soul is when I forgive him and move forward with my life.

Fall Is the Best Time to Find Someone

October 19, 2018January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Is cuffing season backed up by science?

According to Urban Dictionary, “Cuffing Season” is the time of year when people are more likely to look for relationships they can settle down into than looking for casual dating scenarios. As the weather turns cooler, staying cosy with someone is a more attractive option, with the added bonus of having someone to take to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year parties. Running from November until Valentine’s Day (when the cuffing becomes official, or when the weather warms up enough to start venturing out on dates again), we looked at whether this trend had any factual basis, and it turns out that actually… it does. Don’t worry, Cuffing Season doesn’t technically start for a week, so you’ve still got a bit of time to brush up on your science and get some potentials lined up.

Autumnal Aphrodisiacs

We all know that oysters and chocolate act as aphrodisiacs, but we’re well out of oyster season and a way off from Valentine’s Day, so what should we be looking out for in the meantime? Fall means that pumpkins are plentiful, and Jack O’Lantern is an oft overlooked aphrodisiac. Pumpkins are full of antioxidants, and their seeds are packed with zinc and magnesium. Together, those are great for raising testosterone, boosting blood flow, and upping libido. As well as pumpkin carving being a great date idea, the scent of pumpkin pie caused the highest levels of arousal in both male and female participants of a study by Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. Cinnamon also rated pretty highly, so autumnal scents really topped the test. Bring on Pumpkin Spiced everything!

Rare Flesh

With autumn comes the addition of what feels like an extra layer of clothing every day, but humans might actually be programmed to find each other more attractive as we get more covered up. Researchers discovered that a lack of skin on show in winter made women more alluring to men. Responding to stimuli, the male participants of a trial were more turned on in winter than they were in the summer. It may sound surprising, but those results suggest that the gents in question had become overstimulated to seeing bared bodies just three months earlier. The rumour that everyone looks better in a sweater actually has some truth to it, it would seem. We’re also of the opinion that more men grow beards in the cooler months (to keep their faces warm, we assume), and, like a sweater, every man looks better with a beard.

Don’t be SAD

The nights drawing in are one of the worst parts of the changing seasons. With lower light levels through the day, and darker mornings and evenings, levels of Seasonal Affective Disorder are on the rise. SAD symptoms can be alleviated with special light lamps, or a Vitamin D supplement, but research has also found that physical touch can also provide a massive boost to our wellbeing. As infants, touch is the first of our senses to develop, and science suggests that people who are touch-deprived are more likely to suffer with depressive episodes. Skin to skin contact is vital for humans to feel bonded with others, with benefits starting after just twenty seconds so all the more reason to snuggle up with someone.

Happy Hormones

The seasons have a huge impact on our hormone levels, with testosterone levels peaking – in both men and women – in fall. Studies show that testosterone in men can increase by as much as 31% in late fall and early winter, with sperm counts also rising after taking a dip caused by summer heat. In the US, the highest number of babies are born in August and September, as fertility levels for both men and women are at their peak in November and December. We’d suggest making sure your potential baby-mommy or -daddy have passed the Cuffing Season playoffs before testing out this particular scientific theory, though. Science hasn’t yet shown what it is about the changing seasons that triggers this boost in fertility, but it could be a combination of decreasing daylight, evolutionary survival techniques, and overindulging on the festive eggnogs.

Why Young Hollywood is Getting Engaged and Married Super Early…Should You?

October 11, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

You’ve seen the headlines—Pete and Ariana, Justin and Haley—young Hollywood seem to be getting engaged and married earlier than ever.

As someone who is most likely going to marry later in life, I was intrigued by the trend of young Hollywood starting to engage and marry young. It worked decades ago, will it work now? Here is an examination of young Hollywood and everything you’ll want to know about marrying young.

Here is an examination of young Hollywood and everything you’ll want to know about marrying young.

Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande

The Saturday Night Live star, 24, and singer had a quick courtship and within weeks were engaged. Davidson told Variety that he never planned to get married. He also never thought he’d meet anyone like Grande, calling her the “coolest, hottest, nicest person” he’s ever met. Davidson constantly gushes about how lucky he is to be engaged to Grande (most recently he appeared on the season premiere of SNL talking about it).

Grande, 25, has seemed just as equally smitten with Davidson. She named a song after him on her newest album Sweetener. She also admitted on an episode of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon that she had a big crush on Davidson from the time she first met him while hosting SNL. She even joked to a manager that she would “marry him” one day.

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin

The “Baby” singer, 24, and Baldwin, a model, married in mid September 2018 after almost a decade of being on-again, off-again. The two first met back in 2009 at The Today Show and were introduced by Baldwin’s dad Stephen. Baldwin, 24, and Bieber stayed in touch and by 2014, the two were denying that they were dating.

By January 2016, the two became “Insta” official. Throughout the next few years, Bieber and Baldwin went quiet, around the time he reignited his relationship with Selena Gomez. Finally, in May 2018 they became friendly again and four months later, they wed.

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner and Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra

While Joe was 28 when he asked Turner to marry him. Turner, however, was just 21. The two became “official” in January 2017 when Turner Instagrammed a photo of Jonas holding a cigar on a boat in Miami.

News of the relationship came out officially in June 2017 when it was reported Joe was “taking the relationship very seriously.”

Joe’s brother Nick, 26, took the opposite route and asked the 10-years-his-senior actress Priyanka Chopra. Despite having four years left until he hits 30, Nick is known in his age group as mature.

Why might they be getting engaged and married young?

Think of it this way—many of us wait nowadays to marry in order to establish ourselves in our careers and earn money. Celebrities like Justin Bieber and the Jonas brothers may be engaged and married because they’ve found their success already at such a young age. They managed to make millions before even being eligible to vote or drive.

This article from E News said it best: famous people in their early 20s sort of grow up in reverse. While they were busy earning money we were teenagers with our first cell phones, watching the beginnings of reality TV.

If you’re worried about whether or not you’re settling down later in life, don’t fret. These celebrities never had their teenage years like we did. They grew up in the spotlight where every little move they made was scrutinized. We were allowed to mess up, date and become our own people with a sense of anonymity.

In fact, we are all actually in the majority. According to a Pew Research Center study, the median age of a first marriage in the country has risen to 27 and 29 for women and men. Four decades ago the ages were 20 and 23, respectively.

For celebs who crave traditionality, getting engaged and married may be one of the few “normal” things they do in their lives.

Is marrying young right for you?

If your significant other and you are young and thinking about getting married, it’s important to think about a few things before you take the plunge. To give you a bit of hope, a research study by the National Institutes of Health said that the ages of 22 to 25 is the alleged sweet spot to get married (so perhaps there’s hope for young Hollywood!).

Wanting kids is another reason for marrying young. Just think, you’re younger and most likely healthier and more energetic, making it easier to run after little ones.

While marrying young is often a controversial topic, it’s crucial to think not only about age when you decide to get engaged. Your partner should share similar values as you, be able to tell you everything and vice versa, respect you and make you strive to be the best version of yourself. After all, age really is just a number, right?

10 of the Sexiest Cocktails to Get You in the Mood

October 5, 2018January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin Sex, SEX TIPS

Sure, going to a fancy bar is fun and all but there’s something adventurous about making cocktails at home.

I’ve always loved strong, traditional drinks like martinis and manhattans. My boyfriend on the other hand prefers sweeter cocktails. I was inspired to compile a list of delicious cocktails with sexy names that look and taste equally sexy and yummy.

Here are 10 of the sexiest cocktails to get you in the mood.

1. The French Kiss

Remember how risqué French kissing was in junior high? Relive those innocent times with this cocktail.

Recipe: 1 oz. gin, ¾ oz. St. Germain, ¼ oz. Aperol, ¼ oz. lemon juice, top with sparkling rosé and garnish with an orange twist.

Best for: cozy snuggling at Netflix, role playing your junior high days in your old uniform skirt

2. The Hanky Panky

The name of this cocktail speaks for itself. The strong and vaguely citrusy flavor will get you relaxed and feeling sensual.

Recipe: 1.5 oz Martini Rosso vermouth, 1.5 oz. Bombay Sapphire gin, garnish with an orange peel. Stir ingredients in a mixing glass, strain into a chilled martini glass and then garnish.

Best for: before a night out with the girls, a fancy dinner at home with your significant other

3. Between the Sheets

Remember the best sex you ever had? Channel that feeling again with this tantalizing beverage, a take on the classic sidecar.

Recipe: 1 oz. white rum, 1 oz. triple sec, ¼ oz. lemon juice, 1 oz. cognac. Shake the rum, triple sec, juice and cognac with cracked ice then strain into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish with an orange peel.

Best for: sipping after a romp between your own sheets, making before a fancy party with your significant other.

4. Afternoon Delight

If you’ve ever fantasized about leaving work in the middle of the day for a long lunch—and dessert in the form of a quickie—then mixing up this drink is a great idea.

Recipe: 3 oz. Bacardi 151 rum, 3 oz. Southern Comfort peach liqueur, 16 oz., cranberry juice, 16 oz., Gatorade, 2 oz. ginger ale

Best for: actually leaving work early for a little “afternoon delight.”

5. The Full Monty

If bums are your thing, you’ll want to celebrate your love of them with this cocktail.

Recipe: 1 measure Smirnoff vodka, 1 measure Galliano liqueur, cracked ice and grated ginger or gingseng. Shake the vodka and Galliano over ice until it’s well frosted. Strain into chilled cocktail glass and sprinkle with ginger or ginseng.

Best for: before shaking your bottom at the club, dancing in front of your mirror while getting ready.

6. Amaretto-Cranberry Kiss

The nostalgia, romance and sexiness of the holiday season are rolled into one with this drink.

Recipe: (makes 8 cocktails) 2 cups cranberry juice cocktail, 1 cup vodka, ½ cup amaretto, 3 tbsp. Orange juice, ice cubes and clementines, peeled and separated into segments

Best for: being paired with your favorite red dress this holiday season.

7. Strawberries & Cream

This cocktail is meant to be enjoyed poolside in your favorite bikini with your partner. The drink is crisp and refreshing.

Recipe: 2 oz. strawberry vodka, 1 ½ oz. whipped vodka, 2 strawberries, thinly sliced (+ more for extra garnishes), soda water. In a shaker, add ice and both vodkas, shake and set aside. Uddle the strawberries and then fill the glass with ice and top of vodka. Stir gently and garnish with an additional strawberry.

Best for: summertime soireés, after-hours skinny dipping with your love.

8. Vanilla Old-Fashioned

Sometimes good old vanilla sex is just what you want. Adding a tasty matching cocktail makes things more fun.

Recipe: ¼ oz. simple syrup, 3 dashes Angostura bitters, 3 dashes orange bitters, orange peel twist, 1 ½ oz. vanilla whiskey. In an old-fashioned glass, combine the simple syrup and bitters. Fill glass halfway with ice, then stir. Add enough ice to fill the glass then squeeze an orange peel over the glass to extract oils, add peel to the glass then add whiskey. Stir just until the drink is cold and serve.

Best for: Good old-fashioned vanilla sex with your partner, a nightcap.

9. Sweet Orange + Tequila Cocktail

The first sign of spring and warmer weather always gets everyone in the mood. This equally sweet and strong cocktail is the perfect way to ring in sunnier weather.

Recipe: 1 oz. triple sec, 1 ½ oz. 1800 Blanco Tequila, 2 oz. orange juice, 3 oz. tonic water, navel orange slice, ice. Put triple sec, tequila, OJ, tonic water and ice into a cocktail shaker. Stir with a long-handled bar spoon. Strain into a chilled margarita glass filled with crushed ice. Garnish with a slice of navel orange.

Best for: that first dinner on the patio together, making out under the stars on a warm night.

10. Bit of Tongue

Surprised and a bit turned on, there’s always that first time your new boyfriend or girlfriend and you are making out and they slip you a bit of tongue. This drink recreates all that uncertainty and excitement.

Recipe: 1 oz. aperol, ¾ oz. grapefruit shrub, 1 bar spoon of Copper & Kings absinthe superior, cava to top.

Best for: the first time you invite your new boyfriend or girlfriend over for drinks.

Cocktails taste even better when you make them yourself. Get in a sexy mood with these 10 drinks.

Arranged Marriages and Problem Solving: Is TV’s ‘Married at First Sight’ on to Something?

September 28, 2018January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

It might seem like just another reality show… but Married at First Sight brings up important points about love and relationships.

Recently I’ve been obsessed with Lifetime’s hit Married at First Sight, now in its 7th season. In this reality show, relationship experts match three sets of strangers who have agreed to meet (and marry) their future spouse at the altar. The show follows the first months of their marriages, and in the final episode, the couples decide if they want to stay married or get a divorce.

At first, the show’s concept sounded absurd to me.

It used to be that reality shows were about answering quiz questions or eating worms… not getting married. Sure, there were relationship shows— but signing up to play The Dating Game or going on NEXT was one thing. Getting legally married on TV? To a stranger? That’s another.

But after watching a few episodes, I started to think that maybe these couples aren’t so crazy after all. It occured to me that maybe this show was on to something. Here are the top four relationship lessons I learned from Married at First Sight:

1. Looks (really) aren’t everything

Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of single friends swipe left on potential matches because, “her hair is weird” or because, “I don’t like his nose.”

With all these dating apps where the picture pops up first, it’s almost too easy to make decisions based on appearance. But Married at First Sight proves that looks aren’t always a good indication of a good match.

Season 1 star Jamie didn’t like her husband when they first met. She wasn’t attracted to him physically and, on day one, considered giving up on her marriage. But it’s lucky she didn’t, because today, they’re one of the show’s greatest success stories. Jamie and Doug are one of the few couples from the show who are still married, and now they have a baby girl.

Meanwhile, Season 2 stars Davina and Sean were immediately attracted to each other when they met at their wedding—but things went bad quickly. They fought about where to live and ended up barely seeing each other over the course of the show. Their passion fizzled out and it was no surprise when they got a divorce.

Whether this changes the way you Tinder (or not) it’s definitely something to think about. It’s funny to think that if Jamie had first seen her now-husband Doug on a dating app, she would have swiped left and that would have been the end of it. But if Davina and Sean had seen each other on an app they probably would have been a match.

It’s proof that looks can be deceiving.

2. It doesn’t always matter how long you’ve been together

When it comes down to it, the show is simply about arranged marriages, a tradition that was very popular for many generations and is still practiced today. While a match maker can’t always guarantee marital bliss, there were (and are) many loving, life-long, arranged marriages.

But even if you’re not up for the whole arranged marriage thing, there’s a lot to be learned by watching these Married at First Sight couples because, as it turns out, their relationships aren’t that much different from many other new marriages.

They still have to worry about finances, their living situation, and family planning. They also set goals together and they enjoy their honeymoon phase… just like any other married couple. Of course, these TV spouses have the added challenge of not knowing each other well, and that can add a lot of stress, but a lot of their issues, problems, and even their joys are similar to ones any newly married couple would have.

When I started watching Married at First Sight, I thought I would have nothing in common with these people who were marrying strangers… after all, my husband and I were together for nearly ten years before we got married. But as it turns out, I definitely saw similarities.

When Ashley and Anthony from Season 5 were decorating their new place together with mementos from their wedding, it reminded me of the fun my husband and I had putting up wedding pictures. When Mia and Tristan from Season 7 first considered moving for Tristan’s work, it reminded me of how hard it was for my husband and I to decide to move.

Like anyone trying to make a life together, these new couples practice communicating, try to account for each others’ needs, and even learn how to best show affection. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how long a couple has been dating, marriage will always carry new challenges, new perks, and plenty of changes.

3. In a relationship, and especially a marriage, it’s important to not give up too fast

Throughout the show, every couple hits roadblocks. They fight about where they’ll live and how many kids they want. They argue about families and chores and careers—all typical things for couples to clash on at one point or another—but that doesn’t make it any easier. Like many couples who are faced with one of their first big disagreements, they sometimes talk about calling it quits.

Of course, these Married at First Sight couples can’t do that so easily. They’re married (and, I suppose, have a TV contract) so they can’t simply walk out of each other’s lives. But in typical new relationships, a lot of people decide to do just that.

Shawniece and Jephte from Season 6 had some issues early on, mainly about Jephte not opening up. Shawniece would get frustrated and start saying that she couldn’t be in a relationship with Jephte if he didn’t change. There would be a lot of tension, like they were about to break up, but after a talk, or a counselling session with one of the show’s relationship experts, the problem would be solved and everything would be fine.

The problem, which had seemed like grounds for divorce at the time, ended up being nothing. In fact, a lot of times those fights ended up being an opportunity to bond and get to know each other better.

It’s important to remember that sometimes small arguments can seem like a big deal, but that doesn’t mean you’re incompatible or you can’t build a relationship. Shawniece and Jephte ended up staying together after the show ended, and now have a baby on the way.

4. Know when to not waste your time

While Shawniece and Jephte made it work, that doesn’t mean that sticking with a relationship is always the right choice. Some couples are simply not meant to be together, sometimes people change, and often breakups and divorces are the best option.

Season 6 couple Molly and Jonathan had a difficult time from the beginning. Molly didn’t feel comfortable getting physical, they had explosive fights, and it seemed like they never got along. So, it was no surprise when they decided to get divorced before the show ended.

They knew that the marriage wasn’t going to work and they didn’t want to waste their time. They came to the season finale to talk about their decision and left on good terms.

While there is value in not giving up on a relationship, of maximizing the best parts of your chemistry and not dwelling on your challenges, there is a point where a couple has to acknowledge when they’re simply not compatible.

While you may want to put all your energy and time into a relationship to try to make it work, sometimes you shouldn’t. And that’s okay.

These Married at First Sight stars took a big risk when they agreed to marry a stranger, and while most of us would never agree to get married at first sight, we can still learn something from these couples. Their relationships show viewers how to get passed differences, how to find and create love, and how to create a life together. Not every relationship is built to last, but some are worth fighting for, and I think, in the end, that’s all that really matters.

I Went on a Date Every Day of the Week. Here’s What I Learned.

September 21, 2018January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

7 Dates in 7 Days? I’m older, wiser (and exhausted).

Monday was Dr. Corey from Bumble. Tuesday was Grant, a setup from a fellow comedian. Wednesday was Kevin, a super hot Tinder dude from Chicago. Thursday was Chris, another Tinder guy who worked in Marketing. Friday was writer James AND creative director Logan, a Bumble & Bumble. Saturday was Sean, a guy I met at a local bar. Sunday, I rested. JK! Sunday was a coffee date with a producer. I work for YOU!

So, in the spirit of sex, romance and everything in-between, here are seven things I’ve learned about people (especially myself) after going on seven dates in seven nights (and sometimes more). You’re welcome!

Drinking Dates Are Great (But Be Careful)

According to doctors and any non-alcoholic, I drank way too much last week. Way too much. And no, it was not healthy. I’m a big fan of the happy hour date (cheap, and I love a cocktail to ease any awkwardness) but if you’re going to date a ton, stagger those date activities! I’m a gal who can definitely handle her booze, and even I was negotiating what I’ll lovingly call “Pinot Fatigue” by Thursday.

Be Aware Of Repeating Yourself (Or Forgetting What You Said)

There’s so much backstory and chat built into a date- when you meet, when you text, the lead up, the conversation after- if you’re going on a bunch of dates all at once or just one every once in a while, review your text chain before you meet up to make sure you know exactly what they know about you, and what you know about them. Believe me, it can be embarrassing when you say, “So, what was it like growing up in Jersey?” When they’re from the Bay Area. Cool move, Rebecca. Cool move.

Be Thorough About Hygiene

I know you’d do that anyway, but when you’re meeting a bunch of new people in such little time, you’ll want to be hyper-vigilant about this. Depending on who you are, you probably wear makeup, or product, or something when you go on a date. Well, if you’re going on one date a day, you’re going to be doing a lot of prepping, making up, eyelining, cologne-ing, etc. So it’s really, really important to shower regularly and make sure you get ALL the makeup off upon the conclusion of your evening. Nobody likes to show up to a date with the person looking raggedy AF. Am I right?

The Blowout Is Your Friend

That being said, one distinct hair style for dates will cut your anxiety-laden prep time in half! I’d suggest a blowout or a flattering go-to ‘do to have in your back pocket (mine was wavy, my hair’s natural texture, with a cute, high ponytail) so it’s one element of the date you just don’t have to think about or roll the dice with. There are lots of decisions to be made on dates- place, time, how many drinks, what to wear, if you should drive…your hairstyle doesn’t have to be one of them!

Dating Is Expensive (Even With Gender Norms In Place)

I’m definitely a pay-my-way kind of gal, and while most of the men I went on dates with paid, there was definitely a financial cost to this “experiment.” Drinks, some of the time, of course. And food after you got a little too drunk (cough cough, Bumble & Bumble Friday, cough cough), and gas if you’re driving across town or worse, taking Lyft, Uber or a Taxi. There’s also data charges on calls if a date is really into texting (though admittedly that was less of a concern than my 3 am Taco Bell run). So if you’re going to date and not go full diva by demanding the other person pays or always drives your neck of the woods, prepare to take a hit to the ‘ol Wells Fargo.

The Cream Will Rise To The Top

When you’re dating a bunch of people, it’s really, really easy to compare conversation, humor, behavior, attractiveness and kindness. You’ll know right away which people are worthy of a second date much better if you’re dating a LOT, and if they’re proactive enough to keep the momentum going. Keep inventory of this! Don’t second guess your gut. You have many options when you’re going on seven dates in a week or some such crazy dating binge (who would do that? An insane person!). In this case more than others, you should never feel desperate. Ever. People are everywhere and you, my friend, are a queen!

People Love Questions

If the date is going super well or becoming a trainwreck (that was hyperbolic, I mean, if it’s REALLY going that badly, just leave!), a quick way to not feel horrifically awkward is ask questions. Turns out, people love this, it always keeps the convo going and it will take you from treading water conversationally to back into the game. It’s a no-fail way to seem desirable, social and in control. Sexy qualities, grasshopper!