Tag: sex advice

Oral Foreplay — What’s Sexy and What’s Not

by zfortadminin Sex

If you’ve ever given or received oral sex, then you already know that doing it for the first time comes with more than a few surprises.

When I think about the first time I had oral sex, I remember it being as disappointing and awkward as it was hilarious — and I don’t think my story is a unique one. The truth is, there’s just a lot of things no one tells you about oral sex. If you’ve ever given or received oral sex, then you already know that doing it for the first time comes with more than a few surprises. Some of these surprises are pleasant ones; others, not so much. Regardless, there’s just a lot of things about it that you can only learn from experience.

Though I think I’m pretty skilled at the act of giving head now, and I genuinely enjoy doing it, it’s only because I’ve had plenty of practice. Whether you love it or hate it, though, I think we can all agree there’s a lot of things no one tells you about oral sex. Lots of sex education passes right over it. Romance novels would have us believe that receiving oral sex results in multiple orgasms, typically within five minutes. The majority of heterosexual porn makes giving head to men look straight up painful and degrading. None of these depictions are accurate (and also, no one bothers to tell you that giving head for very long at all will make your jaw sore AF the next day).

So if you’ve never had oral sex and you want to know what to expect, or you’re an oral sexpert who wants to remember what it was like when you started out, then read on. Here’s 13 things no one tells you about oral sex.

You’re Probably Going To Suck At Oral In The Beginning

Yes, the pun was intended in the headline. Hey, you could be the one person in history who’s a champ at oral sex from their very first time. Realistically, though, you’re probably not going to have any idea about what you’re doing in the beginning, even if you’ve studied a lot. And that’s OK. Oral sex isn’t as easy as it looks. Whether you’re giving oral to a man or a woman, your mouth, throat, and jaw are doing all sorts of things that they’ve never done before. So don’t be upset if you’re not a head-giving rock star when you’re just starting out.

2. Giving Oral Can Be Super Fun

Maybe someone told you this prior to your first experience with oral, but no one told me — and I wish they would have. Although I’ve never had oral sex with a woman, I can tell you from experience that giving oral sex to my male partners has generally been super fun, and I never expected that.

Before I ever had oral sex with a man, I viewed it as something women endure during heterosexual sex out of the kindness of their hearts — it’s what people and popular culture told me. In actuality, unless my sexual partner gets too aggressive during the act, giving head can be a very serious turn on. I love making my partners feel good, and the feeling of being in charge for a little bit.

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Falling in Love and Having Sex in Spanish

by zfortadminin Sex

In Spanish penis is polla, chicken is pollo. And you have no idea how many times I’ve ordered a dick sandwich. 🙂

We were back at his apartment after a long night of partying in my Madrid barrio, La Latina. On his couch, kissing sloppily, with our arms reaching and grabbing at body parts in the dark, I got my hands down to his belt buckle and undid it with a ferocious appetite. He exhaled a long drawn out “siiiiiiiii.” I flicked the button to his pants open and pulled down his zipper with what I thought was surprising dexterity, considering just how many vinos blancos I had.

Then thinking I was the embodiment of sexuality itself, I slowly made my way up to his ear. Breathing heavily, I placed my lips up to his lobe as I felt a shiver run through his body. Then in my best Spanish and with all the confidence in the world, I said: “Mmmm … I want to suck your chicken.”

You see in Spanish, the words for chicken and dick are extremely similar. I guess it makes a certain amount of sense: what is a chicken but a cock by any other name? In Spanish penis is polla, chicken is pollo. And you have no idea how many times I’ve ordered a dick sandwich. These are just some of the issues you run into when you are screwing/dating/in a relationship with someone who doesn’t speak the same language as you. On the other hand, lovemaking with a language barrier can also be a beautiful thing.

I moved to Madrid, Spain in 2010 right after college. The U.S. was in a recession and I had a degree in anthropology and political science. I figured I’d rather live in a different country working at a job I was overeducated for than in the States working such a job. So some friends and I got our TEFL certificates, packed our bags and set out to be English teachers in Madrid.

I hardly spoke a word of Spanish when I arrived. My high school Spanish was long forgotten, and I took Russian, a language I was already fluent in, as my required language in college for an easy A. The first month or so in Madrid was stressful. My friends and I tried to maneuver around the city, asking for directions to job interviews in bastardized Spanish and lots of hand gestures. We eventually landed our first jobs and got a shithole apartment with no windows in La Latina.

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Is He Only Interested in One Thing? Here is How to Tell.

by zfortadminin Sex

Women, forgive us. When we men are horny, we have a tendency to behave like dogs— pawing, panting, and begging like you’re wagging a bone in front of our faces.

But we’re not always horny. So for the other 98 percent of the time, you have every right to expect us to act like adult humans. Unless you and your guy have decided to stay in the booty-call zone, if you’re sleeping with him, he should at some point show interest in something other than getting you naked. So, worried that you’re with a guy who’s only after a good hookup? Here’s what to look for:

He skimps on foreplay.

You’ve gone down on this guy how many times? And he never repays the favor? Well—it sounds like he’s getting screwed, and you’re getting screwed over.

He doesn’t introduce you to his friends.

If he really wanted to integrate you into his life, he’d start with the dudes he hangs with.

He never asks about your friends. Or your family. Or your job.

Same logic—if a guy’s just looking for a f— buddy, he’ll avoid all the messy stuff. But as soon as he’s ready for a relationship, your personal life won’t seem messy to him.

He’s a little too busy to make plans.

You: “We should do something this weekend.”
Him: “Yeah, we’ll see.”
You: “No seriously! We should go to a movie or something.”
Him: “Well, maybe. I get kind of restless in movies.”
You: “What about dinner? You have to eat, right?”
Him: “Of course, but I might have to do this other thing anyway.”
He’s blowing you off. And even if you haven’t tried to initiate a non-sexual hangout, he should. At some point, he should just sit across from you and talk. No lingerie, no groping, just conversation.

He texts you when he’s out, but he just wants you to meet him back at his place.

A booty call is fine if you’re comfortable with it. But a booty call is not a date. Don’t convince yourself otherwise.

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These Sex Health Benefits Are Just What the Doctor Ordered

by zfortadminin Sex

Sex has no barrier. No matter the differences between the partners involved, race, colour, age, or class, sex dissolves them instantly.

It needs no interpreter as sex speaks a universal language and aims to achieve same goal anywhere in the world. And no matter what name we want to call it, or our psychological disposition towards it, the fact is, sex is a beautiful and natural part of adult relationships which science and research has continued to reveal its benefits and importance to the human race.

If you are one of those with a negative attitude to sex, I have listed a couple of reasons you must drop them right away and improve your sex life.

And if you are already enjoying the fun of it, now it is time to explore sex for the great benefits you can derive from it because a good sexual health can improve your physical and psychological health, putting you in a positive frame of mind. One thing must be noted however, if you are not doing sex right, you are not likely to enjoy these benefits.

Sex promotes healthier sexual organs

Studies have shown that men who have five or more ejaculations per week while in their 20s cut their risk of prostate cancer by a third. Also, 21 or more ejaculations per month are linked to a lower risk of this cancer in older men, compared to men who have only four to seven ejaculations per month.

Sexual activity increases the flow of blood to male and female genitalia, causing it to function better and maintain a healthier condition. Women’s vaginal muscles also stretch and contract during sex, which makes them stronger. For the women, getting down could actually help our reproductive health. The more sex we have, the more we produce hormones that help to increase sexual desire, thus wanting more sex.

More sex increases the level of Estrogen in women which helps protect against osteoporosis, alzheimer’s, prevent endometriosis, regulates menstrual cycles and even helps to trigger the onset of labour and speed up delivery in pregnant women. Sex can help reduce the risk of breast cancer for women who have never given birth. A study showed that if a female increases the frequency of sex, she decreases the risks of breast cancer. Also, lovemaking strengthens the pelvic floor muscles that control the flow of urine, improving bladder control.

A study published by The Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that women who have sex less than twice a month fell sick more often than those who have regular orgasm. Another report by researchers from the Women’s Health Program at Monash University in Australia found that women who had more orgasm had higher level of energy, fewer illnesses and a better psychological outlook to life.

In a related research work, A psychologist at the University of Albany, Gordon Gallup, has discovered that semen consumption helps prevent morning sickness in pregnant women. Gordon affirmed that morning sickness is a reaction of the body to a foreign substance, and that regular consumption of semen will build the body’s tolerance, diminishing the effects of morning sickness.

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Don’t Assume Your Issue Is Resolved… Several Rules on Make Up Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

The best part of arguing, some might say, is what comes after: make up sex so good it could heal all wounds.

Make-up sex is a way to maintain your intimacy and bond together despite the disagreement. But before you jump into bed after a bickering match, experts say, there are a few rules you must follow.

1. Never have make-up sex out of spite

You can’t carry your anger into the bedroom, our experts warn. It can backfire. Instead, learn to channel your anger and frustration into passion. It’s all just energy. Make-up sex can be healing if you allow it to be. Allow your vulnerability to shine through.

And while you can’t go to bed still bickering, Greer believes make-up sex can be more passionate than your normal between-the-sheets action. It’s okay if this sex is a little more intense or aggressive, or not necessarily your usual style. Both parties are coming at it with heated feelings that may still be bubbling up from your disagreement. It’s okay to release that in your lovemaking.

2. Don’t assume just because you are having sex that the issue is resolved

Tabling your serious talk for dirty talk doesn’t mean you’ve magically healed your heated argument. Do not think make-up sex is a substitute for problem solving the underlying issue. It’s a bridge to help you get to where you’re going, but it’s not the destination.

Instead, think of make-up sex as a magic pause button that will help you bond before you get back to the real issue. Sometimes make-up sex can be a pause from your argument so that you can come to a resolution. You don’t have to agree about what you were fighting about to have make-up sex. It may allow you to agree to disagree.

3. Make-up sex shouldn’t be the only kind of sex you are having

You need a regular repertoire of sex that includes making up, but is not defined by it. Some couples notice that they develop a dysfunctional pattern of needing to fight before sex in order to have any passion. If this is your default type of sex, you may want to look at the relationship as a whole.

You should also never pressure your partner into make-up sex if he or she isn’t feeling this healing experience. If they don’t want it, respect their feelings and needs. Perhaps they need to maintain their space by not being physical.

4. Make-up sex can be a tool to help you forgive

It’s important to use sex as a tool to heal your hurt in the same way you do using open and honest communication. Not only can an orgasm relieve the tension you’re likely feeling post-fight, “make-up sex can allow you to connect with your partner’s vulnerability and remind you what you love about them.

Getting physically intimate can actually calm your central nervous system and help you derail hurtful dialogue by doing something more positive.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

A Consent Uprising and My Own Sexual Assault

by Carlyn Hudsonin Mind

I think about this word often, because I was raped when I was 15. In fact, that’s how I lost my virginity.

A friend of mine recently posted on his Facebook asking what he should teach his young daughter. Immediately, the word that popped into my head was, “consent.” I think about this word often, because I was raped when I was 15. In fact, that’s how I lost my virginity.

It’s not an accident that I’m writing this on the heels of the Stanford rape case. Like so many others, I’ve been incredibly moved by the sharing of the survivor’s letter, the condemnation of his father’s words “a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action,” and by other friends coming forward, waving their hands, and saying “hey, I’m one of those 1 in 5 women who’ve been sexually assaulted, and I don’t want to be silent anymore.” Neither do I.

Here’s my story.

I grew up in a small town in Texas, where our sex “education” was an abstinence-only course called “Your Gift.” We were taught that our virginities were the ultimate gift to our husbands, and if you’ve already given it away, no problem, just wrap it up again!

Two pregnant classmates sat in my row. That year, Texas had the second highest teen birth rate in the nation, and we had the on-campus daycare center to prove it. Point is, kids were having sex in my town, and a lot of it.

At the beginning of sophomore year, I had just turned 15 and was the lead in the school play, Beauty & the Beast. To be more specific, I was the understudy, but I was promoted when the original Belle got (you guessed it!) pregnant.

Every day after rehearsal I sat behind the theatre and watched the soccer guys leave practice before my parents picked me up. I had a massive crush on one of them, and sometimes he would smile at me and say “Hey Carolyn” and pronounce my name incorrectly. He was supposedly some kind of sock model, too, which is crazy that we even had those in Seguin, TX! But I believed it.

At this point, the only boy I’d kissed was the Beast in rehearsals, who was gay and always smelled like hot cheetos. I had braces, hadn’t started my period yet, and generally had a gangly, colt-like figure that didn’t exactly draw all the boys to the yard.

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How to Up Your Intimacy Game in Your Relationship

by zfortadminin Sex

I’m not going to lie: I often walk down the street and stare at hot power couples in envy, thinking “Boy, I bet they have so much good sex.”

Sure, that might be a little weird and voyeuristic of me, but who doesn’t wonder about the sex lives of others (even perfect strangers)? It’s natural to be curious, and it makes total sense to want to emulate the habits of couples who have lots of sex.

The sad truth about long-term relationships is that, whether you’ve been dating for five months or five years, you can fall into a sexual rut (sometimes more than once). Issues like mismatched libidos, high stress levels, poor communication — all these things can keep you from having the healthy, awesome sex life you deserve. Only by being proactive and making changes to your routine — both individually and as a couple — can you see results.

I spoke to Lauren Brim, a sexual wellness coach and author of The New Rules of Sex, to find out how you and your partner can have the most satisfying (and frequent) sex. After all, sex is vital to relationships.

“Sex is often seen as something we outgrow or can easily go without, but sexuality and intimacy are an expression of our life force, creativity and love, and must be expressed to be fully realized as a people,” Brim tells Bustle. “If our sexuality isn’t being expressed, it will show up as problems in other areas of our body and life. Plus, sex is just too damn good for you to live your life without it!”

Preach, sister. If you’ve fallen off the sex wagon and are looking to get back on track in the bedroom, here are nine habits for you and your SO to adopt ASAP.

1. They Flirt Often

“The most important thing to keep your sex life healthy in a relationship is to keep the sexual energy simmering in-between the act,” Brim says. “This could be commenting when your partner looks extra hot, gently slapping, squeezing or pinching them when you pass them in the kitchen or raising your eyebrows in an ooh-la-la [way] when you see them undressing to jump in the shower. Noticing your partner’s attractiveness will make them feel desired and keep you both wanting each other in bed.”

2. They Communicate Well

I can’t possibly quantify how many times I’ve said that communication is key for healthy relationships (both in and out of the bedroom). Couples who can talk about their emotional issues as well as their sexual wants and needs are more likely to get it on more often, because they know exactly what to do to please their partner.

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What Spots May Inspire You to Get Down and Get Sexy

by zfortadminin Sex

Don’t knock ’em til you try ’em

You know that recurring sex dream you have about getting it on under the stars with your partner (or, you know, Ryan Gosling)? Well we think you should totally make that a reality—the outdoors part that is. And we’re not the only ones. Expanding your sexual experiences by having sex outside the bedroom can bring you closer to your partner, teach you about what turns you on, and help you feel sexually empowered, says sex and relationship expert Emily Morse, Ph.D., co-founder of Emily & Tony.

Changing locations removes you from things in your home that stress you out and gets your adrenaline pumping, which helps you get even more aroused than usual, says Morse. And get this: Sharing feelings of excitement can help couples get connected during the experience and after. “If you have these cool experiences together, you can pull from those memories when you’re having sex at home and channel that excitement,” she says.

One thing to keep in mind: Getting it on in a new location is more about having a new thrilling experience than trying to achieve a mind-blowing orgasm, says Morse. The fact is, some women could struggle to reach the big O because they might not be focused or they are limited in the kinds of positions they can do. But don’t let that stop you. It’s definitely possible to have great sex without an orgasm, and the experience will be totally worth it. Here, 11 places you should put on your sex bucket list.

Your Backyard

Morse says getting busy in your backyard is a great way to get all the benefits of having sex outdoors and away from home—without having to worry that you’ll get caught. Plus, you can always pitch a tent so your guy can, um, pitch a tent in private.

On the Couch

Maybe you’ve covered this base already, but did you know that the living room staple could actually help you orgasm? Morse says that stacking up the cushions under your lower back makes it more likely that you’ll reach an orgasm. Or you could lean over the side for an awesome twist on the usual doggy style.

At a Hotel

“Hotel sex is amazing because there isn’t any clean up. You can just check in and it can be all about sex,” says Morse. She suggests getting out of your comfort zone by doing some role-playing (you’re now officially two hot strangers on vacation). If you’re looking for something a little wilder, Morse also says that sex on a private hotel balcony is super hot—you know, if it’s actually private. “No one knows you, it’s dark, you can look over the city, and you’re still close to your room.”

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Advice: How to Relax into Sex

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

One of the best ways to help your girlfriend to feel more relaxed about sex may be to stop having it for a while.

Q. My girlfriend is self-conscious during sex. She seems unable to fully let go and really enjoy herself.

She’s in her early 30s and has had a few partners, so it’s not lack of experience.

How can I help her to feel more comfortable so that we can enjoy a good love life?

A. Although your girlfriend has had a few previous partners, they either didn’t notice, or weren’t willing to challenge this issue, so she is lucky to have found a partner who cares enough to try to help her let go.

There are a million and one reasons why your girlfriend might be finding it difficult to relax during sex.

Some women are worried about not being able to orgasm, others just can’t switch off their inner critic.

However, if she is very sensitive, there is a risk that she will interpret what you are saying as a criticism, so a conversation about it needs to be broached with great sensitivity.

You need to let her know gently that you can feel her discomfort and reassure her that your sole motivation is to help, not to humiliate.

Whatever the cause, one of the best ways to help your girlfriend to feel more relaxed about sex may be to stop having it for a while.

That might sound counterintuitive, but sex therapists commonly use a system called “sensate focus” to help couples with sexual difficulties to go back to basics and build trust and intimacy — essential for truly great sex.

Sensate focus is not useful for couples who are having relationship problems, or who are dealing with sexual dysfunction, but it can be a very enriching exercise for couples who want to become more sexually connected.

The idea is to create an environment where you and your girlfriend can learn how to receive and give pleasure to each other.

Sensate focus is intended to be an experience in itself, so it is not a prelude to “sex” or a form of foreplay.

The central tenet is non-sexual touching and, in the initial phase, all other contact is restricted.

Instead, you focus on creating and experiencing sensation by taking turns exploring each other bodies.

Because this is non-sexual, it is non-threatening and your girlfriend should be able to respond by telling you what tickles, what scratches and what feels really, really good.

It is important to separate this experience from sex because the more relaxed she feels with touching and being touched in this phase, the more likely she is to remain relaxed when you escalate to genital touching in phase two.

Although the entire exercise is focused on helping her to relax, phase two offers you the opportunity to explore sexual responses.

When you progress to genital touching, you will be able to see how, with stimulation, her body changes as she becomes aroused.

The skin on her chest and torso will become flushed — stimulating her nipples will magnify these sensations.

Keep it slow and gentle at first, and ask her to tell you what she likes and what she doesn’t like.

Every woman has a different sensory threshold.

When it is her turn, make sure to give her positive feedback to build her confidence.

When your girlfriend is comfortable with phase two, you can move on to penetrative sex, but let her dictate the pace and always include non-genital and genital touching beforehand.

This slows everything down and ensures that she is fully aroused before intercourse.

Even at this stage, the only ‘goal’ is intimacy and connection, but orgasm is permitted.

Although sensate focus can sound like a rather prescriptive remedy, it will give your girlfriend the opportunity to unravel negative sexual associations so that she can begin to associate sex with fun, not fear.

That’s the greatest gift you could possibly give her.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

PanRomantic, ARomantic and the New Glossary of Intimate Identification

by zfortadminin Mind

In this new, orderly dystopia, all human emotion has been “switched off” through fetal inhibitors that basically turn people into robots, productive and compliant servants of the greater good.

Let’s get the exposition dump out of the way first: In Drake Doremus’ leaden sci-fi/romance Equals, an apocalyptic Great War has eradicated nearly all mankind and rendered 99.6% of the land uninhabitable. The surviving humans have colonized under the governing body called “The Collective,” which has taken drastic steps to repopulate the species and eliminate the threat of another conflict wiping them out again. In this new, orderly dystopia, all human emotion has been “switched off” through fetal inhibitors that basically turn people into robots, productive and compliant servants of the greater good. (Forget sex, too. Conception is regulated through artificial insemination.)

So what about the folks who come down with an acute case of the feels? Those poor souls are diagnosed with “Switched On Syndrome” (SOS, if you’re looking for clunky acronyms), an incurable condition that eventually lands them in “the den,” where they’re permanently confined and prodded. Constant surveillance makes it hard for anyone to get out of line, but there are a handful of people called “hiders” who can experience emotion, but are skilled enough at acting like dull automatons to pass themselves off as normal. In this seemingly infertile future-world, their tremulous emotions are like green shoots through cracks in the pavement.

There’s plenty of sci-fi precedent for the Orwellian chill of Equals, but many of the particulara — the all-white color scheme, the emotional inhibitors, the outlawed sez — bring it in line with George Lucas’ 1971 debut feature THX-1138. No matter. Doremus does not take the speculative elements of his film seriously, which is a relief, because they don’t make any sense and they would have no thematic resonance even if they did. Doremus isn’t making a statement about totalitarian governance or the surveillance state or anything else that might have some connection to the modern world or insight into the human condition.

What he’s made is an old-fashioned love story dressed up as speculative science fiction, as if the future could conform to the strictures of turn-of-the-20th-century high society. Set in a time when emotions are suppressed and physical contact is forbidden, Equals is engineered to give a touch of the hand an erotic charge, to say nothing of more advanced forms of hanky-panky. And yet its own conceit works stubbornly against it: When two would-be lovers are required to behave like automatons every waking moment, it’s not easy to stop being boring when no one is looking.

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You’re Hot When… You Believe in Yourself

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A

‘Sexuality is based on attraction.  And attraction is based on what you put out in the world which means, in order to be hot, sometimes you gotta go deep and look at numero uno, yep, that’s YOU’

‘In this episode, A’s dead mom comes to her in a dream and tells her the #1 disempowering thing she’s doing to herself… which you may be doing too!’

Freeing the Nipple and Intimate Trends

by zfortadminin Sex

Something has got to be pretty awesome when it is considered trendy in the world of sex.

It doesn’t take a psychic to predict that plaid will be in for fall and that florals will be hot in spring. But what’s the latest in popular sex trends? “Sex trends?” you may ask. “Is that a thing that exists?” Is it possible that the seven billion people inhabiting our planet might agree that, sexually, some things are just way cooler than others? Imagine getting together with a few billion of your closest friends and deciding exactly which positions were the most awkward to try to do IRL. Of course, everyone has their sexual preferences, their favorite kinks, and their go-to positions, but you know something has got to be pretty awesome when it is considered trendy in the world of sex.

Now, just because some things are trending for the time being doesn’t mean they’re only temporary obsessions. I’m hoping the whole body positivity thing and respecting how people identify are here to stay, because that is how things ought to be. As for trendier concepts, like rocking orange bodysuits and roleplaying OITNB? I can’t really say how long that one will last. Probably until Netflix launches its next show filled with gorgeous women. Which is totally OK with me.

1. The (Almost) Free Nipple

When you search #FreeTheNipple on Instagram, the content generally “isn’t available,” and that’s because women’s nipples still aren’t entirely free. From laws limiting reproductive rights to some states having no penalties for revenge porn, there are still many hurdles to overcome on behalf of women’s rights — in particular, their rights in regard to their bodies. However, one way women have been taking ownership over their bodies has been through social media. It has become more commonplace for women to post sexy, even nude, photos on their social media accounts, just to share with the world how fabulous they are. With celebrities posting cheeky topless pics left and right, and the public following suit (especially on Twitter!), we’re embracing the female form in a very open way. One in five American adults has received a nude photo in their life, and in the name of being #bodyposi, that can be considered an empowering thing — because having the confidence to send one is awesome.

2. Gender-Neutral Sex Toys

It’s a bird … a plane … no, it’s a sex toy for everyone! Amazingly progressive sex toys are all the rage (freaking finally), and toys that accommodate genders of all kinds are at the forefront. The Picobong Transformer acts as a clitoral massager, G-spot stimulator, cock ring, prostate massager, and various other sex toys — all in one! I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen an image of such perfection. Even if it looks a little like an alien’s finger, it’s a surefire way make everyone’s orgasm on point.

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What Sexual Inheritance Did We Receive from Victorians, Romans and the Renaissance

by zfortadminin Sex

What would you like to receive as a intimate inheritance?

Some things never change but sex isn’t one of them. Marcus Field looks back on some surprising episodes in the centuries-long evolution of Western sexual attitudes, from the ancient Greeks to the present day

Let’s start with the Greeks

Aphrodisiac, eroticism, homosexuality, narcissism, nymphomania, pederasty all these terms are derived from the language of ancient Greece which tells you something about its society. The myths of Homer and Plutarch told stories such as that of Aphrodite, goddess of sexual intercourse, who emerged from the foaming semen of her father’s castrated testicles. Then there were the mortal heroes such as Hercules, who it is said ravished 50 virgins in a single night, but who also had an affair with his nephew Iolaus and fell in love with “sweet Hylas, he of the curling locks”.

From the early 6th century to the early 4th century, the culture of pederasty flourished in Athens, with adult men taking adolescent boys to serve as their lovers (although how much physical sex actually happened is a matter of some debate). Women in ancient Greece were generally the property of men and rarely enjoyed the exalted status of the young homosexual partner. But we know that there was a strong culture of female prostitution, with the most successful courtesans often wielding power and wealth and with brothels paying a state tax on their profits. Neglected wives found ways to satisfy their desires. Lesbians (called tribades) certainly existed, and the culture is associated most particularly with the island of Lesbos “where burning Sappho loved and sung”. There are also plenty of literary references to the use of dildos, which in ancient Greece were made of padded leather and anointed with olive oil before use.

And then along came the Romans…

In Rome, as elsewhere in the ancient world, wives and children belonged to the man of the family. A woman caught in the act of adultery could be killed by her husband on the spot, while a wife who drank more than a moderate amount of wine gave grounds for divorce. Despite this, the orgiastic culture of legend certainly existed during the Bacchanalian festivals, when all restraint was abandoned. Such was the hedonism and lawlessness of these rites, with rampant couplings of both heterosexual and homosexual nature, that public worship of Bacchus was finally outlawed in 186 BCE. Prostitution was widespread and legal, and the Greek tradition of pederasty was significant enough to cause concern when the Roman birth rate dropped. Much attention was given to the development of contraception.

Pliny recommended “mouse dung applied in the form of a liniment” or pigeon droppings mixed with oil and wine. Much more successful was the method devised by the gynaecologist Soranus of Ephesus who suggested a wool plug for the uterus impregnated with gummy substances. However, it is more likely that outbreaks of plague and disease led to the catastrophic fall in the population of the Roman empire than the success of primitive contraception.

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How Many People Check Their Phones During Sex?

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

62% of women and 48% of men had interrupted sex to play with their phone.

I don’t know about you, but I was taught not to be rude. In any situation (if I can help it). And that respect extends to my bedroom, and whatever partner is lucky enough to occupy it with me for that time.

This includes minimizing distractions so I can concentrate on getting it on and getting off. And in our super-connected state, what could be more distracting than your phone? Turns out others were also curious about that, and now there are, not one, but two, studies that exist on the topic.

A 2013 study done in England surveyed 1.7K+ men and women. The results found that 62% of women and 48% of men had interrupted sex to play with their phone. It broke down into specifics: Answering a call was 34% of the time, answering a text was 24%, and answering an email comprised 22%. Weirdly, the results didn’t break down the specifics by gender.

Oh yeah, and 34% of respondents claimed to be OK with the fact that their partner had turned their attention to their phone during the act. Sure, sounds legit. (I’d be mad as hell, but that’s just me.)

Also, we don’t know the ages of the respondents. I’d be tempted to speculate that the people who can’t leave their phones alone during sex would be of the millennial cohort (since my generation’s phones are practically appendages), but of course I can’t be certain.

But wait, there’s more!

Earlier this year, researchers at the University of Virginia presented findings focused on how our phones are distracting us from everything. Including, yes, sex.

(Side note: the scientists presented said research at the aptly-named Association for Computing Machinery’s Human-Computer Interaction conference. Who knew one existed?!)

Anyway, here’s an interesting discrepancy: only 10% of people admitted picking up their phones during sex. That’s a large gap between the 48-62% that the English study claimed. I don’t know whether this boils down to different social/sexual/technological mores across the pond, but that’s a huge gap in self-reporting.

Either way, it doesn’t matter. Come on, using your phone during sex is just inexcusable. Give your partner your full attention!

If you’re one of those people, do your current/future partners a favor and put that shit on airplane mode when you’re getting down.

Stress Relief and Self Pleasure …How to Reap the Benefits

by zfortadminin Sex

Personally, I’m not particular about when I masturbate, but I would say it’s most often at night, just before I go to bed.

Everyone has a different masturbation routine. Some do it daily, some weekly, some in the morning, some in public bathrooms … the list goes on. No matter when, where, or how you do it, there are so many positive effects of masturbating — and it’s fun! It can help you stay in touch with yourself and your sexuality, and is also an extremely satisfying way to pass the time. Whether you’re horny, frustrated, stressed, or just plain bored, masturbation will always be there for you.

Personally, I’m not particular about when I masturbate, but I would say it’s most often at night, just before I go to bed. This is partially out of convenience; I sleep naked, so of course it’s easy to make that transition to sexy-time when I’m already lying in bed sans clothes. There’s almost nothing more exciting after a long day than the thought of crawling into my giant, comfy bed, where my vibrator is patiently waiting for me.

Even if you’re typically a morning orgasm kind of person, consider switching to a nighttime routine to reap some of these awesome benefits. The worst thing that can happen is more orgasms; and come on, how bad can that be?

1. Better Sleep

Releasing endorphins is a well-known way to help you relax, which is why working out regularly helps you sleep better and more deeply. Sure, sex is physically exhausting in and of itself, but the act of having an orgasm can also cause sleepiness. If you’re anticipating a toss-and-turn kind of night, it might behoove you to consider having an O before you start counting sheep. Bonus: If you have long-term issues with sleeping, masturbation may also help with insomnia!

2. Stress Relief

Is there anything worse than going to bed with your head full of negative, stress-filled thoughts? For a quick fix, treating yourself to some me-time before bed will release chemicals like endorphins (mentioned above), as well as dopamine. The combination of the two can make for some seriously stress-free slumber. That feeling of euphoric pleasure is sure to wipe away any nasty residual stress from your day.

3. Sexy Dreams

This may be a long shot, but if you spend some quality time concentrating hard on a sexy scenario, you may be fortunate enough to have that situation, person, or feeling reflected in your dreams. Just lay back, relax, and think about Ryan Gosling (or whoever, I guess) while you pleasure yourself. If you’re #blessed, you’ll see him again in your dreams all night long. Who wouldn’t want to wake up with those memories fresh in mind? Talk about waking up on the right side of the bed!

4. Treat Yo’ Self

What more reason do you need? If it’s been an especially long, grueling day at work or school, think of a late-night pre-zzz’s masturbation session as the perfect reward for all your hard work. At the end of the day, masturbation is all about self-love. If you’re feeling down, who’s to say that you can’t offer yourself a sexy pick-me-up? You do you, girl.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article