Be Proud of Your Body During Sex

January 14, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin Sex

Getting intimate is the high point of any relationship and the feeling after a good sexual encounter is what makes the moment even more beautiful.

But are we body positive and do we feel nice after an enjoyable act? We decode why it is important to feel good about your body and how it’s perfectly fine if you keep the lights on during the act.

Are you body positive?

The fact that you feel good about your body, despite its flaws is important. Stand in front of the mirror with nothing on, and make sure you look at your body very closely. See how you feel to know the answer. Factors that determine body positive sex

Unconditional love

It’s all about looking at each other beyond the physical, mental and social parameters. Mira Nehra, a relationship counsellor, says, “It is about making sure both the partners experience extreme pleasure while having sex, in spite of the several imperfections they have.”

Acceptance

With love comes acceptance. The fact that you know your partner has certain flaws and you still love him/her, determines body positive sex. Psychologist Raina Gopichand, feels that acceptance of one’s body is the biggest achievement in life. “We always strive to look our best. Hence, loving yourself is something that each one of us should practise. It helps us improve our confidence and the quality of our relationships, especially the quality of sex,” she adds.

Enjoying the act

If both the partners thoroughly enjoy lovemaking, then there is absolutely no scope of feeling awkward about their bodies. It is important to make each other feel comfortable while having sex. Foreplay is an important aspect here. Exploring each other’s body before the act helps you get into the comfort zone. “If both the partners derive immense pleasure while having sex, it does not leave a scope to find faults. In fact, it is not just about people who have imperfect bodies; it is about each one of us who aspire to have the perfect body to enjoy sex. Intimacy is not all about your body shape, it’s about how you feel during the act,” says sexologist Dr Rajan Bhonsle.

What is the movement about

This online movement hopes to convey what it means to be healthy. The movement also reinstates that body acceptance is not just about losing weight. It challenges stereotypes of what larger bodies can accomplish and that body acceptance is the recognition and celebration of your body.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Ask Him Out! Here’s How.

January 15, 2016January 22, 2024 by MONROKin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

The tables have turned. Women are in charge, there are now even dating apps that immediately put the ball in our court to open the conversation with a man of interest. So why not do it on the street?

I was 24 years old. One morning, I went to breakfast with a friend. I noticed a man with olive skin, and slightly longer hair that took my breath away. My friend said that I should say something, but I was too timid. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t eat anything; there was just something about this guy. My friend finally decided that she was going to say something. She walked over to his table and told him that her friend was interested in him. He asked “What friend?” She turned around and I had jumped the fence of the restaurant and was hiding in a clothing store next door. “Uh, she was just here, anyway, here’s her number…”

He called. We arranged to meet that night. He ended up coming to a Comedy Show I was performing at. He joined to grab a bite with all the comics afterwards and ended up picking up the entire bill. Thus began the passionate affair with a serious gentleman that lasted for the next three years. (I know this would be better if I said “ …and now we’ve been married for x years,” but it was a significant relationship and an experience that I learned a lot from.) He totally Pretty Woman’d me (except I wasn’t a prostitute, just a young, nerdy kid). Regardless, the relationship helped me bloom into the woman I am today.

That is an example of what can happen when you say something (albeit it, my friend spoke on my behalf). This was in 2006, it is now 2015, and fewer and fewer men have the gumption to approach a woman in public. The tables have turned. Women are in charge, there are now even dating apps that immediately put the ball in our court to open the conversation with a man of interest. So why not do it on the street?

How many times do you see someone in public that you find cute but are too shy to do anything about it? The next time you are on the elevator with someone that peaks your interest, or see someone at a coffee shop, just walk up to the guy and introduce yourself. What do you have to lose? It’s so easy to hide behind your computer screen or be glued to your phone that you could in fact miss an opportunity right in front of your face. Look up folks! There are men everywhere; who says we can’t speak to them? I know, it might seem super creepy and weird at first, but it’s actually not that bad. Turns out, guys are really easy to approach. THEY LOVE WOMEN and don’t mind talking to us!

I have since been helping friends have the confidence to approach men and have two relationships under my belt. Most guys think it’s sexy and a turn-on, very few feel “intimidated” by it and come on, who wants a guy that feels intimidated by a woman anyway? Confidence is always attractive regardless of gender. It shows that you aren’t afraid of failure, and that is a great quality to have in life.

How about you? Do you make the first move?

Model Responds to Kendra Wilkinson’s Post-Baby Body

May 19, 2016January 22, 2024 by RJ Newellin LOVE

…it’s fun to celebrate your sagging skin and be grateful to your body for creating life.

You may have seen Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett’s “brave” Mother’s Day post, in which she showed off her stomach after childbirth. The Instagram photo (which has since been removed from her account) has been shared on a lot of mothering websites, and for good reason. It’s inspiring to see a beautiful mother celebrating her body, especially when that body is so famous. I’m grateful for the positive impact Kendra’s photo had on social media, but it’s time to talk about the very real issues behind our response to it.

Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett proudly flaunts her post-baby body, via instagram. — Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett proudly flaunts her body, after having kids. She has been called “brave,” “risky,” and even “crazy” by the media for doing so.

Admitting that motherhood changes your body is not “crazy” or “risky.” It’s something to be proud of. It shouldn’t be seen as an act of ‘bravery’ for Kendra to be honest about her natural post-birth belly. That’s what Hollywood wants you to think – because “bravery” implies breaking the rules. In this instance, the “rule” is that women aren’t allowed to be anything other than ‘sexy’ to the men who own the media.

Pages: 1 2 3 4

How Loving My “Little” Helps Me Build Confidence

December 9, 2016January 22, 2024 by Lisa Lauretain Mind, Wellness

Since I was eight or so years old I’ve made many attempts at utilizing various forms of traditional “western” therapy to no avail. In the past couple of years, I’ve begun to work with more mystical therapists like healers, hypnotherapists and intuits. It just so happens this is the right direction for me. As someone who over analyzes nearly every event and moment of her life at a constant, incessant rate, I’m not the type to benefit from “talking it out.” All my brain does all night long is talk it out. I need people who can help me calm down, meditate, and find proper and more intuitive coping mechanisms.

I went to see therapists originally as a child because of my father’s imprisonment for child abuse. Surprise surprise, I’m a comedian with daddy issues! These issues often come into play for me, but so do a whole bunch of other life issues. When I get upset, I don’t always know what to do, as I wasn’t raised with super effective coping mechanisms or a lot of proper communication. I find myself particularly lacking when I feel fear. Fear has always been pretty big for me. I’m afraid to put my head under water, afraid of heights and steep drop-offs when hiking, which really sucks because I LOVE hiking, afraid of driving on the highway, which super sucks because I live in LA, basically, you name it, I can come up with a reason to be afraid of it. I used to get really mad at my fear. I would yell at myself, “toughen up, power through it, quit being a baby!” This was not helpful.

What I got to see once I pushed through.

I started speaking with a hypnotherapist who took me on a journey into a beautiful meadowy field that I created in my own mind. I met a little version of myself there and I started to have a conversation with her. We called her, ever creatively, “Little Lisa.” Little Lisa is the version of me before the shit hit the fan in my life. We all have this small person, even those of us without heavy traumas. There’s at least one point in each of our lives where life started to get real, where our childlike wonder and amusement took a more serious turn. This happens to a lot of people in middle school because we turn into “adults” and horrendous things start happening to our bodies, in addition to being asked by those older than us to start taking more responsibility. However, those of us with childhood traumas have younger littles. And some of us have a lot of littles. My major little is me at around four or five years old. This is how old I was when I first started feeling depressed. It was when I started getting made fun of a lot. It was when, for whatever reason, I realized life wasn’t JUST about having fun and being a goofball.

One of the way easier parts of the trail, but not at its toughest because I couldn't manage taking a pic while also trying not to fall to my death. — One of the way easier parts of the trail, but not at its toughest because I couldn’t manage taking a pic while also trying not to fall to my death.

My hypnotherapist asked me what my little said I should do when I feel badly. Little Lisa said, “Just dance, ya goof!!!” and then began to dance around like a crazy, goofy Muppet. Because this left me with such a great feeling, I began to go to this little girl whenever I felt distressed. I would ask her to help me, especially when I felt scared. But it wasn’t really effective in my day-to-day life.

Then I spoke with my intuit. We weren’t even talking directly about my fear when she too brought up the concept of Little Lisa. Her suggestion to me was to go back to that little girl. I said, “I do, but when I ask her what to do, she doesn’t really know.” She replied that it wasn’t really fair for me to be asking my little for guidance. She was probably more afraid than I was. Why would you ask a scared child for advice? That child needs to be loved.

Then she told me what I really should be doing when I go back to this little girl. I needed to hold that little girl, cradle her in my arms, stroke her hair and her cheek and tell her that everything is okay, that nothing is her fault, and that she’s a good person who deserves good things and that above all, she’s safe. Soothe her, tell her that she is loved, over and over again.

So I did just that. I lay in bed that night, closing my eyes, imagining my little five year-old self, and cradled her lovingly until adult me actually fell asleep. It worked!

This didn’t exactly change my life overnight, but by being kinder to my inner littles, I’ve actually become kinder to the adult version of myself that exists in the now, and thus have been able to accomplish more. Like when I was alone on a very difficult hike in Hawaii. I was faced with a steep drop off and the trail was getting progressively narrower. I wanted to push on because it was so beautiful, but I felt I couldn’t, I was so overcome with fear, I froze. Before, I would have told myself to “Shut up. Just get through it. Quit being stupid! Quit being weak!” But with my new-found wisdom I took a seat on the ground, breathed deeply and said something more along the lines of, “You’re doing great. You’re being very brave, and you’ve gotten through so much. This is very scary, so you should be very proud of yourself once you’ve done it.” With patience and kindness, I got through it. There were tears and some shaking, of course, but it was amazingly beautiful on the other side of that fear, and I was so glad pushing through paid off.

I’ve used this tactic in my day-to-day life since then. When I’m afraid of a situation, when I get jealous, when I stress out because something didn’t go the way I wanted or needed it to, or when I suffer a tragedy, or even just a minor set back, I find a little. I go back to whichever one feels triggered. Sometimes it’s that 4-5 year-old. Sometimes it’s me from only a few years ago when I was sexually assaulted and felt defenseless. Sometimes it’s me from just a couple of years ago when I was physically assaulted and felt helpless and voiceless. Sometimes it’s me as a teenager, sometimes a pre-teen, and sometimes even a baby. Whoever it is, when I let her know she’s loved, and that yes, sometimes life isn’t fair, but she deserves better and is safe, it makes the me of now feel loved, and safe, and as though life might just be okay.

So find your little, or littles, give them big hugs and kisses, and tell them that though life is full of challenges, they are loved.

I’m Embracing Vanity. Here’s Why You Should, Too.

January 18, 2017January 22, 2024 by RJ Newellin LOVE, Mind, Wellness

I believe we should redefine the word ‘vanity’ for ourselves.

Confession time.

I’ve been guilty of hating on other people’s Instagram selfies. I’ve unfollowed other women in the past, because their photos made me feel insecure about myself. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and wish that I could wear a filter in real life. How dare I feel beautiful? Self-acceptance feels unreachable…forbidden, even.

But on other days, when I’m feeling lucky, I look in the mirror and think: “Damn, I look good today.” But before long, shame drags me down. The cycle of self-loathing begins all over again.

Why did so much of my confidence come to hinge on passing feelings, or validation from others online? Since when did comparison start ruling my life? And why can’t I just freakin’ love myself consistently?

It’s because of a little word called ‘vanity.’

The dictionary defines Vanity as “excessive pride in or admiration of one’s own appearance or achievements.”

I realize I’m being vain. Then the shame kicks in.

I grew up in an environment where self-love was a sin. Taking any pleasure in my appearance was wrong. I was instructed that Vanity was a woman’s downfall. The guilt still creeps in when I least expect it, sucking me dry of self-esteem. And the hatred I’ve developed towards my appearance comes out as insecurity, jealousy, and social anxiety.

Vanity. I’d be committing a sin for liking myself at all, so I just choose not to. It’s a virtue to be humble, right? Maybe someone, somewhere will notice how pious I am in my self-deprecation. They’ll say I’m pretty, but I won’t believe it. Somehow, that will make me worthy of their love.

After all, poor little Cinderella didn’t get to be a princess until a handsome prince fell in love with her. In a chick-flick, the geeky girl doesn’t get to know she’s hot until someone takes her glasses off.

“Hot Girl Who Doesn’t Know She’s Pretty” is one of the most popular female archetypes in TV and film. On the other hand, confident women who flaunt their beauty are almost always painted as “the bitch.”

Somewhere, right now, in a high school bathroom: a group of girls are standing around the mirror, competing for lowest self-esteem:

“I’m so fat.”

“No, you’re not! You’re so skinny. I’m the one with a tummy.”

“Well, at least you have boobs. I’m so flat.”

“But all the guys like you. None of them notice me.”

…Chances are, the youngest girl might not have thought to hate herself until this very moment. If all of her older, prettier, more popular friends hate their bodies, then who does she think she is?

Vanity. We have all been conditioned to fear it, in some way or another. I realize now that this kind of shaming was designed to keep women from realizing their worth. I’ve come to believe that someone, somewhere invented “vanity” to keep his wife at home.

Shame is a cage we build to keep the heart in check. If I feel inferior to my partner, he’ll always have the upper hand. Even if he’s abusive. Even if I’m unhappy.

This might be why so many beautiful, intelligent women find themselves in unhealthy, codependent relationships. Our self-worth relies on the validation of others.

It’s not our fault. After all, we’re conditioned to be this way. Our society demands that women compete with one another for attention – romantically, professionally and physically. Most of us are expected to spend considerable amounts of time on our appearance each day, changing how we look in order to fit in.

Blaming someone for their low self-esteem is like blaming the body for feeling pain. It’s not the symptom that needs attention. We have to find the source, and change it.

Here’s one way to start:

I believe we should redefine the word ‘vanity’ for ourselves.

There’s a difference between confidence and narcissism. We should stop labeling women as “attention seekers” for celebrating their beauty. We should congratulate girls who score well on tests, speak up for what they believe in, and say ‘no.’

The moment we apologize for voicing our position, we lose our freedom to have one.

There’s nothing wrong with being smart, looking good, and knowing both are true. Let’s eradicate the shame that muddies your daughter’s reflection, before it’s too late.

When a woman looks in the mirror and loves what she sees, nothing can stop her.

I try to remember this when I put on my makeup every day. My concealer wasn’t made to diminish me. My lipstick is not applied to steal attention. My eyeliner is not for anybody else. And so what if my cat-eye isn’t perfect – I’m having fun.

Now, I wear makeup because it makes me feel powerful. I post photos of myself when I’m feeling brave. My online selfie is not a cry for validation – not anymore. Photos have become my way of expressing of self-love, without needing permission. Publishing my words online is how I celebrate my voice and invite others to do the same.

It’s not self-promotion; it’s self-possession. This is me, taking ownership of myself in a way that makes me feel empowered.

As you embrace your own confidence, it’s important to encourage it in others. I think we should stop judging other women for being hot/self-centered/sexual/oversharers, period. Everyone is entitled to free speech. And yes, this includes gratuitous selfies.

Often, individuals who seem the most self-involved are actually the most self-critical. It took me a long time to realize this. Judging other women for their “narcissism” is ultimately a reflection of my own insecurity. By the same token, encouraging others makes me feel good, too. How we treat others is a reflection of the way we see ourselves.

So here’s what I wish for you to know, if you’re still reading. You’re allowed to know you’re attractive. You’re encouraged to recognize your own brilliance. You are also allowed to acknowledge the beauty in others, with no risk of diminishing your own.

Vanity, redefined, is self-love.

It’s gratitude. It’s expression. Own it. Live it. Celebrate it. Share it.

This is not about makeup or selfies or #goals. It’s about you, beneath the filter.

If someone were to call me “vain” nowadays, I’d smile and say “thank you.” I don’t feel like I’ve committed a sin by calling what I see. The gods have not come down to smite me for admiring their creation. I haven’t hurt anyone by loving myself. In fact, I feel that embracing ‘vanity’ has made me a better person.

Lucille Ball once said, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”

The future is a girl. She stands in front of the mirror and loves what she sees. She wears red lipstick if she feels like it; she wears nothing when she wants to. And she is not ashamed.

Working Out Isn’t About Being Skinny — It Should be About Uplifting your Mind and Body

March 1, 2018January 22, 2024 by Lindsay Hayesin Body, Mind, Wellness

If working out to be thinner or stronger isn’t your jam, try thinking of it as better mental health with a side benefit of increased fitness.

My vision of women in ballet barre classes are tall, lithe, ballerina-like women in expensive ath-leisure. This is not me. I am not tall. I am not skinny. I have never, ever been to a ballet class.

But here I am, in my 50th barre class. I’m addicted.

I hated barre classes

A few years ago a girlfriend asked me to buy a Groupon for 5 barre classes. I did not care for them. In fact, I may have genuinely hated one of those instructors. But last fall I found myself in a fitness rut. And perhaps in a life rut.

I wanted to avoid sliding from a rut into something resembling depression (it took me years to recognize the need for this, let alone how to put knowledge into action). I knew I needed to shake up my workouts. I also wanted to find something that lifted me up. Something or somewhere that could be my happy place.

Through Class Pass I tried yoga, pilates, aerial acrobatics, and other classes and gyms.

Don’t judge a book by its cover, don’t judge a gym by it’s classes

Wanting to give it an honest try again, I went to three different barre studios. They were vastly different. One made me remember why I had hated the class years ago, another was just too damn hot, and the third wasn’t an immediate love affair but I liked it and kept coming back.

Four months later I encouraged a girlfriend to come with me. It was then that I realized that studio had become a happy place for me. During class, I can’t check my phone and I’m working too hard to stress about life or work. This is me time that I don’t feel guilty about because I’m building a stronger body AND mind. At some point I started to value the classes because I always left feeling better than when I arrived.

I am happier and I am stronger

I have more muscle in my arms (though there’s still an annoying jiggle). My legs are stronger than they used to be. But more importantly, I have added another happy place I can feel grateful for. I take pleasure in making the time to go to the studio twice a week. I am grateful for instructors who uplift, inspire, and encourage me. They push me harder than I will push myself. So I have learned I am stronger than I thought. It’s a wonderful feeling to make this surprise discovery.

Tips to find your workout bliss

Start close to home

If you can find somewhere that fits into your drive to or from work, it’s easier to make the time. If you work in a business complex, chances are you have a studio nearby that caters to busy professionals like you. Start Googling.

Shop around for the perfect class

Sites like Class Pass, FitReserve, and offer packages to help you explore different classes, gyms, and activities. If you don’t have Class Pass in your area check out the websites of gyms and fitness studios near you. Many offer a free or discounted first class. And don’t forget about the YMCA– it’s affordable and has a surprisingly robust selection of classes.

Be fearless

Everyone in these classes was new once. They are probably concentrating too hard to judge you anyway. You got this! Really!

To learn more about ways you can improve yourself, join LOVE TV today!

True Love Lessons with Sierra: Self-Worth

June 13, 2018January 22, 2024 by Sierra Mercierin LOVE, Mind, RELATIONSHIPS, Wellness

Self-worth!

This lesson keeps popping up for me and those around me, so let’s jump in!

What does it mean to have self-worth?

I believe it means discovering AND believing in your deep inherent value, which in turn, gives you a standard of how you deserve to be treated.

Know that you, just as you are, are a rare and precious jewel with unlimited love to give.

Recognizing that is what polishes your inner jewel making you sparkle from the inside out!

Self-worth is interconnected with self-confidence and self-respect.

These 3 powerhouse energies COMBINED are certain to help you attract an excellent match!

Tune in next time for more True Love Lessons & Confessions with Sierra.