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Category: Sex

12 Facts Most Doctors Don’t Tell You About Sexual Health

by zfortadminin Sex

Every year, millions of women give up or drastically compromise their expectations of having enjoyable, fun, satisfying sex ever again.

Even if these women are among the majority who actually dare to discuss sexual issues with their doctors, they are often left without productive answers about their lack of libido, lack of orgasms, and lack of pleasure.

The truth is, even otherwise fabulous doctors are not experts on the physical, hormonal and medical aspects of maintaining peak sexual health … and pleasure! All women who are experiencing physical and/or hormonal issues related to sexual function — menopause, incontinence, chronic lack of sleep — as well as those with medical conditions including heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and more, still can elevate their sexual awareness and health.

And, the good news is you don’t even need to don those attractive paper gowns or put your heels into stirrups.

Here are 12 examples of important facts about sexual health that your doctor has probably not mentioned:

1. A headache during an orgasm may indicate a serious problem.

You probably mentioned your bad headache to your doc. But did you neglect to mention that, oh, by the way, that headache happened simultaneous with an orgasm? If so, that’s something you want to check out sooner rather than later. Patients with a sub-arachnoid hemorrhage report that a severe headache at the time of climax was their first indication of a serious problem.

2. Diabetes may affect your ability to have an orgasm.

Your doctor asked about numbness in your feet, but not in your clitoris. According to a recent study, there is a likely correlation between diabetes and sexual dysfunction in women; this might have to do with decreased sensation in the clitoris from common vascular or neurologic changes.

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Tantra: Much More Than Crazy Sex Positions

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

What is Tantra? “What happens for me when the heart and sexual energy come together?”

This was the fifth time I had done the workshop. I was lying on the floor, on my back. There was a bit of verbal guidance while my partner applied slow pressure to my legs. Eventually, she came up to my lower belly where she placed her hands. After a couple minutes, she put her chest on my lower belly/genital area.

“What happens for me when the heart and sexual energy come together?” That is, “What is the relationship between these two energies in me?” This was the question I was opening to in this moment (so, too, my partner).

As I had done the workshop numerous times, I’d had many human hearts touching this area, the doorway to my sexual energy. There was soft, simple music in the background. The meditation was guided such that everyone would come to this point of the meditation at around the same time.

My partner gently put her chest on my lower belly and left it there for a few moments. All of a sudden, my eyes popped wide open as I felt surges of energy rushing through my body. A pure, sweet, super alive and intense feeling writhed from the point of contact and opened up into my body. It was as if I was getting injected with a pure, sweet, powerful nectar — the nectar of life.

It happened a few more times during the course of a few weeks at that workshop. That was two years ago. I’ve had similar experiences spontaneously in the past year, but even more intense and without any precipitating outer, physical stimulation (just alone in a parking lot or in my room).

What to exactly make of these experiences, I don’t really know. There isn’t a framework for it that I grew up with; I was raised in Texas in a conservative, fundamentalist, Korean Southern Baptist church. But it all makes sense within the context of Tantric philosophy and practice.

In the West, the word Tantra has come to denote deep, mystical sex, 20-minute orgasms or creatively contorted coital positions. This association between Tantra and sex and orgasm, misses so much of the basic essence of Tantric practice and philosophy, and I hope to clear some of the confusion in this article.

Let me just say here that I am no expert on Tantra, nor do I practice it in any formal way (the workshop mentioned above was not officially a Tantric workshop). Those who know and have studied Tantra may have more to say about its ins and outs, but I’m not going for a technical explication of Tantra here.

I’m offering my perspective, which comes from my experience. I’ve been immersed in spiritual teachings, been an avid meditator and yoga practitioner, travelled through India and have dabbled in a variety of different spiritual modalities for the past five years.

I’ve also studied psychology for over a decade, and have a master’s degree in counseling from a school that is based in Eastern philosophy and spirituality, the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS). The workshop (which I’ll get more into later) was actually a class I took in graduate school.
Recently, I lived with a Tantrica (a Tantric yogi or practitioner), and it became clear to me that a lot of things I had come to realize on my path directly correlated with Tantric philosophy — at least in how she held it. This realization led me to write this article.

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12 SEX Tales in the Digital Age

by zfortadminin Sex

Here are 12 first person stories about the often hilarious, sometimes tragic, and often triumphant ways that technology has changed our sex lives.

Enjoy.

“Talk Sex” Skyping

I have long been a purveyor of private email filth. It’s a natural extension of the age that dawned during my college days, when people started writing email all the time about everything; of course messages to people I had sex with might include sexy content. I did think about hacking, but the worst-case scenario didn’t seem that bad: Someone would find out I write pretty good email filth.

But I never took or sent pictures. I pledged an even more adamant hell no when it came to video. So when a meandering video-chat at an early point in a relationship in 2011 turned heavily suggestive, I had my concerns.

The connection wasn’t secure. I wouldn’t know how to get a secure one, and let’s be clear, I have no idea what that even means. But my boyfriend lived in France, and though we’d met in person only three times, we were already in love, goddammit. Without video, we wouldn’t have seen each other for months at a stretch. We became a couple over video. Video was our relationship. As our relationship didn’t exist without video, neither would our sex life.

So there we were, that first time, wearing clothes—and then not. And then there we were on the regular, all our pieces and parts, our looks and sounds and moves, on display. Until one day, mid-act, the screen froze. I froze too. “What was that?” I asked, my heart racing (faster). “Did your screen freeze too? What was that clicking?” We paused, vulnerable. We discussed possibilities. Could someone be … tapping in?

Ultimately we continued on like nobody was watching. As with dancing, it’s really the only way to have Skype sex.

I still wonder sometimes whether an Estonian software engineer or NSA agent somewhere has a recording. If it ever got out, it would be an unspeakable defilement. I would start throwing up and never stop. But love is about taking chances. Currently those include a chance that I may someday have to run away to a country with less puritanism and worse Internet access. But we did it because the pros outweighed the (possibly imaginary) cons. If I ever have to go into Internet exile, I will know that intimacy-enabling technology got me a dream husband who’ll come along.
—MAC MCCLELLAND

The Fitbit Breakup

Ted* and I laughed all the time together. We laughed when I lay on top of him and made our naked bodies touch as much as possible—our noses, our lips, our kneecaps, our palms, our big toes. We laughed when we walked from Tribeca to the Upper East Side to log steps on his Fitbit after three days of eating tiramisu in bed—only to find out he wasn’t wearing his Fitbit.

For Christmas, Ted’s mom had given her kids Fitbits and connected scales. I’d set Ted’s scale up for us. He could step on it and, given his weight (about 165 pounds), it would identify him and send his data to his Fitbit profile. And when I stepped on the scale, the technology knew it was me (about 135 pounds). Each person’s info was inaccessible to other users of the scale.

It wasn’t all laughs: We’d broken up a couple of times, then quickly gotten back together. But after our latest drunken fight, I’d texted, We’re done. The next morning I woke up wondering what Ted had texted back. But there was no text. I decided to wait two more hours. He’d call. I lay staring at the ceiling. Four hours later, still nothing. I wasn’t going to reach out. He was the one who owed me an apology. I’d give him another hour.

He didn’t text. I rented a movie. And then another. Then I ordered food. I spent all day in my apartment, waiting, watching movies, checking my phone. Around 10 pm I turned off the TV, sat down at my desk, and opened my laptop. I clicked around my bookmarks—the Daily Mail for photos of celebrities I’d never heard of, Food 52 for photos of cobblers I’d never make, Fitbit for goals I’d make but never maintain.

But the number next to my profile read 126.6 pounds, logged at 9 pm. Hmm. I was pretty sure I was 136.6 yesterday. But I’d weighed myself around 9 am. 126.6 at 9 pm … today? That was an hour ago! Had the synchronizing gotten screwy? And then suddenly I imagined the naked backside of a 126.6-pound woman standing on the scale at the foot of Ted’s bed, and I realized: He wasn’t going to text, he wasn’t going to call, he wasn’t going to apologize.
—­BREE MORTIMER

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How to Spice Up Your SEX Life

by zfortadminin Sex

This advice about spicing up your SEX life is from an expert on this field (Gloria Brame, Ph.D.). Answer your questions by reading through this article.

My boyfriend and I have been together for awhile. Our sex life has always been good, but lately it feels more like a routine than something we look forward to. What are some new and creative ways we can spice up our sex life and make things exciting in the bedroom again?

Sooner or later, even the most passionate couples go through phases when the sparkle seems to vanish from their love life. Those exciting new things you did together are now things you’ve done dozens of times. You find yourself having sex in the same old way, saying and doing the same old things and usually in the same old place too.

As a sex therapist, I can tell you that couples who use these lulls to experiment with new ways of having sex end up happy. And those who let these periods create a rift in their intimacy—by not dealing with it or playing the blame game—end up being ex-couples. So, for the sake of your sexual pleasure and the health of your relationship, my advice is that you view this as an opportunity to try new things rather than a stumbling block in an otherwise good relationship.

Here’s a hot list of five of the best ways for couples to break out of the bedroom blahs and spice up your sex life.

1. Do it in another place. Oddly enough, sometimes just changing the place where you have sex wakes you up from the sexual doldrums. If you always (or only) do it in bed, next time try it on the living room floor or on top of the kitchen table. If privacy is an issue, try a shower-for-two—the running water will muffle your moans. If you enjoy the outdoors, grab a tent and find a quiet spot where you can make love under starry skies. Add a dose of spontaneity (grab him by surprise when he walks through the door and have your way with him then and there) and it’s sure to liven things up.

2. Do it in a different way. How many different positions have you tried? You can pick up a guide to sex positions and try them with your boyfriend. The Kama Sutra lists scores of positions—some may leave you laughing, but you might find a handful that absolutely bliss you out. You could also read up on tantric sex, which focuses on techniques to slow sex down, how to enhance orgasm and how to savor every moment of sexual contact. Of course, you could just come up with your own positions. Try propping pillows under your hips for a better angle of penetration; make love side by side or standing up; have him sit in a rocking chair and lower yourself onto him gently, then let the chair rock you to orgasm.

3. Do special sensual things. A lot of people define sex as intercourse and oral sex and leave very little time for all the relaxing, intimate fun lovers can enjoy together, in and out of bed. Do you give each other massages or foot rubs? Have you fed each other chocolate in bed or sipped wine from the same glass? Has he ever run a rose petal over your body? Have you ever scrubbed his back in the tub? Maybe he could give you a pedicure. Sensual intimacies like these will wake up your passion in a hurry!

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7 Tips to Be the Best Lover He’s Ever Had

by zfortadminin Sex

Ladies, if you are serious about satisfying him better than ever before – listen up.

Men aren’t as complicated as they may seem at first. If you want to conquer him and make him go insane over you, you have to give him the best sex humanly possible. You have to give him more pleasure in bed than he got from all the other women he’s been with before you. The thing is that you don’t have to be the best in the world, you just have to better than other women he comes across with. And that’s not that hard, considering that the average woman is clueless when it comes to satisfying a guy completely.

I won’t tell you what you would like to hear, I’ll tell you what actually works, in real life. If you to hear fairy tales, you are free to leave, if you want results, read on.

1. Learn how to give proper blow jobs. Really, this is an almost mandatory skill that you have to master. If he ever got better oral from a woman before you, he’ll expect at least the same quality for you. Men rarely go backwards sexually and if he got amazing oral before, he’ll wish to continue getting it from you as well. Learn the art of oral sex and you’ll immediately be among the top 10% of women that know how to satisfy a man completely. A woman that’s great in bed but has no idea how to give proper oral is just considered as incomplete. It’s worth learning it.

2. Do what other women will not. That’s the second step. To truly satisfy your guy you have to be ready to do what other women find “disgusting” or “yukee”. Show total devotion. If you really like this guy there is nothing that can disgust you about him. Swallowing shouldn’t even be a question. Do all the kinky stuff you can imagine and let go sexually. If you are constantly thinking whether doing “this” or “that” will make him think that you are S-word (you know what), you’ll never end up being the best he could have. Let go and be free, have fun with him and make his satisfaction your satisfaction. Deny nothing. If he wants anal, do it, try it. Be open for new things.

3. Show total devotion by being more submissive. It is natural that men want to dominate in bed, so let him do it. Most men feel more manly if they can take control and have sex with you all around the house, take control over you and dominate you. Let him do this, be his “slave” and submit to him sexually, let him do ( and enjoy it ) anything he wants to do with you in bed. Be flexible and open about new things. Be open for learning new things and experimenting, but don’t force things, make things fun instead of forced.

4. Start talking “sex”, or “sexier”. The right words can be like magic. If you know what to say, when to say it and most importantly How to say it, your man will explode from pleasure instantly. Learn what makes him go nuts and tell the right things at the right moments. Nothing is more boring that a woman that makes no sound in bed and when we have to wonder whether she’s dead or not.

Be active in bed, flexible, let him move you around. Also – if you say the wrong things and are afraid you might sound stupid, you probably will end up sounding stupid. Be confident. If you believe in what you say, anything you say will sound good. That’s why it’s more important how you say it than what you say exactly. Talk dirty to him and Be “dirtier” in every way possible. Be his personal Porn Star and he’ll love you for it.

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Pros-Cons: Is Having Sex With Your Roommate Okay?

by zfortadminin Sex

One word. Don’t. Don’t even think of it. Do yourself a favor.

Sex with your housemate alters the comfortable, familiar, even familial relationship you had before. Really. Sex is like that. There is a reason it is called making love. In reality, there are only two long-term scenarios going forward. One— you live happily ever after as a couple that might as well be married. Two—one of you loses your home.

The first scenario does happen. The second is much more common. Yahoo! Answers are full of young women agonizing about how to handle her feelings for the guy after a night…well, you know… They were watching a movie and he starts massaging and well, you know, one thing lead to another. Or they became very close when they both had relationships break up and, well, you know.. . Or they went out drinking, and, well, you know… Its easy to get caught up in the passion of the moment and to tell yourself, “its just sex.” Better to be wise, put on the brakes and ask yourself, “Is this worth it?”

The problem for housemates who have sex is that the relationship changes. Having carnal knowledge of each other, they are no longer just housemates. They might become a couple. They might even be a happy couple, for how long? How do they manage it if one person wants to break up? You see? Someone moves out.. But probably not before pain and hurt.

More common is that the relationship between the two who slept together goes wonky pretty quickly. One person’s fling is another person’s crush. Emotions are stirred, expectations created, the relationship is no longer easy and comfortable.

There is a loss of independence and privacy. What happens when one makes plans that doesn’t include the other? When you are upset and angry because you are hurt and you encounter each other in the kitchen? What happens when one goes out on a date? Or worse, brings home a different partner? In other words, someone – maybe both people – get hurt. Eventually, one of the housemates moves out but probably not without some stormy and painful experiences.

So if you want to keep your home a comfortable place to be, do not get sexually involved with a housemate.

For housemates to live together comfortably, it is good to impose a complete and utter taboo on sex with each other. I call it The Incest Taboo and it is my fourth principle for living with housemates successfully.

Yes, of course, there are exceptions to this rule. It might happen that two people who get to know each other in the daily rhythms of life find themselves falling in love. I heartily suggest a long conversation about what this means to you and how you will manage it before falling into bed. And if you can’t have a heart-to-heart real conversation about life and love, then you don’t have the communication to manage the changed relationship. If you are going to have a love affair, one of you should move out first, then see if the relationship works. I heard of a couple that did this. They met in a group home and started really liking each other. She moved out so that they could date. They are married now.

Do yourself a favor, have an incest taboo. With a firm taboo in place, a housemate relationship can be wonderful—kind of like having a brother or a sister.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Can Sexual Fantasy Boost Your Sex Life Naturally?

by zfortadminin Sex

The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. ~ Einstein

The sexiest part of the human body lies in the brain, specifically our limbic brain, where our libido resides alongside our processing of emotions, memory and scent.

One of the quickest and most assured routes to sexual arousal is through fantasy. We use our imaginative capacity all the time during our waking lives as we envision all the possible futures that our daily life could result in…or even in the most negative of circumstances when we allow ourselves to ruminate and overthink bad outcomes for our relationships and aspirations.

Yet when it comes to the mysterious sexual fantasy life that lives somewhere in all of us we often keep the door locked.

In this Green Divas Eco-Sexy episode, I talk about how fantasy turns on our engines. Listen, and then read on for more about embracing healthy fantasy.

Allowing yourself the freedom to explore your sexual fantasies by yourself or with your partner is one of the most common sexual acts we share as human beings. In fact, in a recent research study on sex in America, the majority of men and women reported having fantasies while having sex. Some studies report this percentage to be as high as 60-90 percent for both men and women.

The Kinsey research concurred with this data and showed even higher percentages during masturbation. In fact, using sexual fantasy as the fuel for early eroticism is for most of us our first sexual act. Boys start having sexual fantasies as early as 11-13. For girls, fantasy usually begins later in their teens and early 20s.

Tell your stories

Telling our stories is integral to being human, and sexual fantasies transform and inspire during sex. In fact, mounting research suggests that the ability and freedom to entertain fantasies actually increases the health of both sexual arousal and desire.

Yet many people feel uncomfortable with the stories that spontaneously occur to them in the course of their sexual adventures. This is one of the first and often persistent internal spaces where our doubts about our sexual “normalcy” are instigated. Most sex therapists recommend adopting a “no mind-crime policy” for your fantasy life. I remember the remarkable passion that emerged in my own sex life when I stopped trying to suppress the stories that emerged during intimacy.

Given that our sexuality is one of the most mysterious ways that we relate to our partners, it isn’t all that surprising that our range of sexual fantasies is as rich and diverse as we are. Erotica and pornography explore many common fantasy themes of submission, dominance, and even forms of pain infliction, which can be both arousing and disturbing at the same time.

Just because you have fantasies about being sexually overpowered does not mean that you actually want to have the experience. Even the very common fantasy of having multiple sex partners doesn’t necessarily translate into an interest in playing it out in 3D.

Although I often feel like my husband is interacting with me in my fantasies, I rarely ever verbalize my thoughts. For other couples I know, they have elaborate games where they both share and agree to act out their fantasies together. When it comes to a shared fantasy life, it’s critical to be both conscious and communicative about your comfort level and your boundaries. Being able to speak openly about the role of fantasy in lovemaking and agree on what should and shouldn’t be shared provides a respectful space for fantasy to exist between you.

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Your Vagina Is Your Oracle

by Gina Cloudin Sex

yoniAs I begin this post, I can feel that it will be raw, visceral and deep. So grab your beverage of choice and sit with me in a place of no distraction. This topic is important, for both women and men.

The primary focus of my work, as many of you know, is teaching women the powerful and unique language of their bodies as a path for transformation. Women’s bodies speak a particular language, via our reproductive experiences; namely the menstrual cycle, pregnancy and menopause, and also via our sexuality.

After a recent conversation with a woman about her sexuality and these body messages, I began to think about the vagina (often I will refer to as yoni) and its profound wisdom and vulnerability in our lives. There are a range of experiences women have which involve this portal, both literally and spiritually. In the normal spectrum, there is giving birth, to our monthly cycles, to sex, to the undesirable experiences of rape and sexual violence in all forms, as well as female genital mutilation. Our vaginas are messengers and teachers, yet many women have shame, fear, ignorance, and numbness, to name just a few, around this area of their bodies.

Vulnerability is defined most simply as capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt. For most men, and many women, the word vulnerability provokes discomfort. Why would anyone want to be vulnerable? Because without vulnerability, we are closed. When we are closed, we cannot receive love and the many other blessings which are possible within the range of our human experience. The key is to be vulnerable and to have discernment. This is a gift of the vagina. Whether women realize it or not, your vagina speaks to you via body messages even when you are not tuned in to your truths. It is a vulnerable space and yet it is capable of stretching to birth a child. It has a profound physical resilience. Its vulnerability lies in its connection to our hearts. Its discernment is mind-blowingly clear through the messages it delivers to a woman’s body as feedback.

In teachings on tantra and other sacred texts, there is a known connection and polarity between a woman’s heart and her vagina/yoni, and a man’s heart and his penis. In a woman, the positive pole is her heart/breasts and the negative is the vagina. In a man, his heart is the negative pole and his penis is the positive. When a man and a woman embrace in a normal hug and/or sexually, these poles are activated in the same way that battery cables work. For women, the vulnerability of our hearts is tied to our vaginas. Any woman knows, and men should, that when a woman opens her heart, her legs are powerless to remain closed. When a woman surrenders her heart, her sexuality comes alive. And this is where the vulnerability of the vagina begins. In entering a woman sexually, her heart is also entered, even if she feels closed, as in casual sex.

Many women today are engaging in sex without an awareness of this aspect of themselves. But the vagina knows, even if you are completely oblivious. When a woman allows a man to fuck her without a heart connection, or respect at a minimum, penetration becomes denigration. A woman KNOWS when his has happened because she feels used, empty, sad, depressed. There are many, many shades and flavors to sexuality. When the vagina is accessed without connection, women suffer on various levels. And your body WILL tell you when a man has no business being inside you. And this doesn’t apply just to casual sex, but also to any relationship or marriage. We all choose unwisely at times in our lives, myself included. But your vagina invariably knows the truth.

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8 Organic Couples Habits In and Out of the Bedroom

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex, SEX TIPS

There’s no cookie cutter formula for the perfect relationship. But research does show that a combination of both big and little things—from doing yoga together to sharing meals prepared with organic ingredients—helps maintain happier, more satisfying partnerships.

Here are the mindful habits that connected couples rely on.

Young Ethnic Couple On Kitchen Slicing Vegetables1. They Do Yoga Together
You can probably think of more romantic things than sweating it out in a vinyasa class. But making a date to do yoga or go on a hike through the forest with your partner can bring about worthwhile results in a relationship. The buddy system will not only help inspire you, but it will create a feeling of synchronicity between partners, highlighting a shared passion and common goals. Bonus: Working out together has been proven to help you burn more calories and possibly even spice things up in the bedroom.

2. They’re Open About What Goes On Between The (Bamboo) Sheets
It’s not just about the monkey business that happens in the bedroom. A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships concluded that young, monogamous couples—especially the males of these couples—reported both more sexual satisfaction and overall satisfaction with their relationship when they talked openly about bedroom preferences with their partners—right down to what kind of natural linens they like. Getting over fears or anxieties related to sexual disclosure and revealing more may lead couples to a higher level of intimacy.

3. They Stress Less
According to UC Berkeley researchers who tracked conversations between 154 married couples, those who used the words “we,” “our,” and “us” more than “I,” “me,” and “you” reported being more satisfied and showed fewer signs of stress. Strike a healthy balance between individuality and togetherness—whether that be spending an afternoon harvesting backyard tomatoes or engaging with neighbors while volunteering together at the community garden—and you’re one step closer to a strong, lasting bond.

4. They Understand The Value Of Sharing Homemade Meals At The Table
It may sound silly, but get this: A survey of newlyweds conducted by a mattress retailer found that a partner eating in bed tied with snoring as the number one pet peeve distracting couples from bedded bliss. It turns out that conflicting meal etiquette and discord over whether or not to use organic, GMO-free ingredients can lead to a crummy night’s sleep. A UC Berkeley study found that poor sleep can turn lovers into fighters. Even one rough night of sleep can have a negative impact on spouse interactions, causing more discord between couples, poorer conflict resolution, and decreased ability to gauge one another’s emotions the next day.

Mixed Ethnicity Gay Couple Kitchen5. They Give Constructive Feedback About Each Other’s Healthy Habits
Experts have theorized that, in the most contented pairs, the magic ratio may be five positive feelings, efforts, or exchanges for every one negative, such as complaints or criticisms. For example, share what organic habits you like (the new all-natural soap in the bathroom) when telling your partner that leaving the compost bin out with the lid off drives you nuts (it attracts fruit flies!). Think of the former as an antidote to the latter and make efforts to be a good listener, stay calm and non-defensive, and have empathy in times of disagreement. The power of positive thinking (and expressing) is especially potent in partnerships.

6. They Connect Over Nature
Relationship experts at The Gottman Institute (which helps couples achieve lasting, loving relationships through research) studied couples’ reactions to random small talk, like “Wow, look at the sunset.” Researchers categorize this as small but important requests for connection. They found that couples who regularly engaged each other in this kind of nature-loving small talk were the ones who ultimately stayed together.

7. They Share A Netflix Account With Animal Documentaries
You’ve heard that life imitates art, right? A study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology—in which couples watched one movie each week for a month—documents an interesting finding. It turns out that watching films featuring an intimate relationship as the main plotline (in this case, maybe it’s the monogamous mating habits of penguins) inadvertently sensitized these couples to issues in their own partnerships and triggered the desire to work through their own problems. The films acted as gateways for couples to reflect on their own relationships in a safe, nonthreatening environment.

8. They Emphasize Digital Detox
If your faces are constantly buried in your smartphones, you may be digging your way to a problem. It may seem dramatic, but a trio of researchers at Boston University’s Department of Emerging Media Studies found evidence that frequent use of social media in the presence of your partner—which can feel antisocial—negatively impacts overall relationship happiness and quality. Another analysis even found a correlation between heavy use of Facebook among partners and spikes in divorce rates. Try leaving your digital life to your daily commute and focus on inclusive activities with your spouse—like camping together or taking evening walks around the lake.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Women Want Sex, Too

by zfortadminin Sex

Although we have come pretty far as a society in understanding that women are just as sexual as men, the cliché still exists that when it comes to desires men have more of them and more often, too.

But, of course, that’s far from true and any woman who’s embraced her sexuality can confirm that wholeheartedly. But because stereotypes surrounding women and sex still exist, Kindara, a fertility awareness app, set out to see what stereotypes could be confirmed and what could be finally thrown out.

The survey by Kindara researched the sex lives of 500 women between the ages of 18 and 65. They examined sexual desire, orgasm frequency, and just how important women feel sex is to their relationship. Overwhelmingly, although not surprisingly, Kindara found that women do put some heavy importance on sex with the majority of them wanting it more than they’re getting it. Apparently once a week just won’t cut it for the majority of ladies out there.

What the results of the survey reveal, among other things, is that women are equal to men when it comes to sexual desires and to assume otherwise is wrong. Thinking that women are somehow less interested in sex is simply a decades-old thinking that needs to cease. Here are six facts about women’s sexuality that Kindara uncovered in their survey.

1. The Majority Of Women Think Sex Is Very Important To A Relationship

According to the survey, 89.2 percent of women think that sex is “very” or “somewhat” important to their overall relationship satisfaction, which makes perfect sex. Happy relationships are the ones where sex and intimacy reign supreme.

2. Over Half Of Women Want More Sex

Although we’re supposed to believe that it’s women who are holding out in the bedroom while men want more sexy times, Kindara found out something else: It’s the ladies who want more. Of those surveyed, 53.2 percent of women want more sex than they’re currently getting from their partner. In fact, less than half, at 46.8 percent, felt satisfied in having their sexual desires fulfilled.

3. Over 60 Percent Of Women Want Sex Three To Five Times A Week

In findings that really blew archaic stereotypes out the window, 60.8 percent of women desire sex three to five times a week. But for some women even that’s not enough! According to the survey, 10.2 percent of women want sex six to eight times a week ― who has enough time in the week for such a thing?!

4. Majority Of Women Put Emotional Connection Above All Else When It Comes To Sex

We hear a lot about how women love foreplay ― and we do! ― but as Kindara found what we like even more than foreplay is having an emotional connection. Of those surveyed, 53.2 percent felt that an emotional was essential for great sex, 23.6 percent believed foreplay was a deciding factor in awesome sex, and 10.4 percent rated communication as most important.

5. Most Women Orgasm At Least Once During Sex

Although women reaching orgasm still remains a struggle for many, the good news is that the amount of women who are able to orgasm at least once during sex is at 72.6 percent. Within that range, 38.6 percent had an orgasm once, 10.2 percent had multiple orgasms, and 23.8 percent could report that they had an orgasm “often.”

6. Stress Is The One Thing That Can Mess With A Woman’s Sex Drive

For 39.2 percent of women, stress is the top factor that can negatively affect their sex life. The other top culprits that can make a woman not want to get it on are being out of sync with their partners at 28.2 percent, not being in the mood at 20.2 percent, and struggling with their self-image at 20 percent. For 18 percent of women, there are no factors, like none at all, that stand in the way of them having sex.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Slow Sex or Hot Sex: What is More Fulfilling?

by zfortadminin Sex

Slow sex or Hot sex?

Couples often tell me they like their hot sex life and wonder why my partner, Tim and I are so enchanted by slow sex. The answer is simple. We both liked our hot sex life too but we were aware – as Tim had been reading spiritual teacher Barry Long’s books like – Making Love: Sexual Love the Divine Way – that there was another kind of making love available which meant we could rise to new levels of connection with each other in a soul/spiritual way.

Over the years, we have gradually learnt to be with each other in a different way, in a more present way, in a more heart-open way, in a way where we profoundly relax into each other because orgasm is not the goal, we find that another more soulful sexual energy arises.

Sometimes, I describe our sex life before as like paddling in a stream, whereas now we are swimming freely in the wide-open ocean. It’s a time we decide to spend together consciously where we might be gazing at one another while Tim’s penis is inside me, or he might be holding my breasts, or I might be holding his penis. Or simply lying together naked gently caressing each other. This and much more is all slow sex.

There is a misnomer with regards to slow sex, it does not mean being still all the time. Slow sex refers to the idea that you become more conscious and aware of what you are doing and how you are doing it, it means to take time to become present in your own body so that you can truly be present with each other. That’s the most significant guideline and it does take time and practice.

The other day I was talking to a male friend and he said that he and his ex-partner of 8 years, never gazed at each other when they were making love. He sounded sad when he said it. Often because it requires a level of vulnerability, couples find it difficult to connect intimately while having sex. Over the years, this is what we have discovered and why we’re so keen to support other couples find this new level with each other.

However there are no rules involved. Slow sex may include a lot of movement, and it may not. It’s very much about the freedom to be real with each other and to inhabit that moment as fully as possible. And it’s not about taking hours to do it. Sometimes, we spend as little as 20 or 30 minutes connecting in this way, and it’s enough to ground us in loving relationship which helps us feel bonded with ourselves and with each other for the rest of the day.

I recommend slow sex on other levels as well. For instance, it enhances my sense of well-being, my inner peace and increases my levels of loving generosity too, which in turn affects my other relationships and interactions in the world. It also has an effect on my creativity. I have some of my best ideas while hanging out making love.

In her book Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sex, Diana Richardson describes slow sex as a revolutionary practice for couples to enhance sexuality and reach a higher state of consciousness. She also talks about how slow sex is a way to increase sensitivity and that is certainly what has happened to Tim and I. Sex that focuses on orgasm as a goal means you are constantly looking ahead, not really present, while slow sex enables you both to simply focus on the myriad of subtle delightful feelings all along the way.

5 Keys to Slow Sex

1) Slow sex turns sex into a conscious decision rather than an accidental encounter.

2) Focusing on eye contact, subtle sensations and deep breathing, slow sex awakens the body’s innate mechanism for ecstasy.

3) Slow sex transforms sex into a meditative, loving union of complementary equal and opposite forces and energies.

4) With the emphasis on coolness rather than heat, this practice provides couples with a way to achieve higher consciousness.

5) The practice of slow sex includes deep penetration as well as soft penetration and offers a style that can be enjoyed well into old age.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Body Paint

by zfortadminin Sex

“ Would you like to be painted by your partner as an erotic activity?”

“The precision! A pretty woman with AMAZING art! Thank the artist!”
~ Wally Abaza

body paint

“He killed that paint excellent work I’m next” =)
~ Princess Carver

Sex and Yoga Combined Equals Orgasmic Enlightenment

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sex and yoga have a lot in common. They’re both about opening and stretching into new places. Going deep inside yourself to find strength and endurance you didn’t know you had. Softening and letting go to remove your civilized layers and return to yourself.

You can use each to amplify the power of the other.

I went on a remote yoga retreat with my lover last fall. It was life-changing. I was cracked open wider and wilder than I have ever been before.

The combination of having a full week devoted just to us, quantum-leaped our connection. Doing yoga together daily stretched the crusty parts of us open and dissolve. Being immersed in an off-the-grid experience (no electricity, sleeping in open-air villas) reconnected us to our natural rhythms.

Sex is part of your natural rhythm.

Like yoga, the more you commit to it, and trust it and learn to let go, it will transform you. The little parts of you that get in your way, your defenses, your ego and chatter mind, can all be dissolved through a powerful yoga session.

Or an hour of life-shifting sex.

I recommend taking a weeklong sex date several times a year to get out of your routine, and into each other. You will revitalize your selves, cells and relationship.

In between those weeks, you can maximize your time in yoga classes and during your weekly sex dates.

Here’s where sex and yoga come together:

1) What happens in bed and on the mat carries out into life. What I love about yoga, is the microcosm. I physically open, stretch and cultivate a practice of letting go. When I leave the class, I feel more open, patient and relaxed.

Sex has the same impact on me: when I am assertive and strong in bed, it strengthens my assertiveness and strength in life. The more I allow myself to receive pleasure in bed, the more open to it I am (and expect it) in my day-to-day existence.

2) Sex and yoga rebirth you. Yoga helps you to leave your ego and the constructed parts of yourself behind. The more you practice, the more you relate to the world from a natural, un-self-conscious place.

After cataclysmic sex, I stumble out of the bedroom and the world feels new. I feel new. This is one of the major reasons why I am such an advocate for the spiritual and therapeutic benefits of sex: it transforms us.

There is a good reason why we call orgasm “la petite mort.”

3) Sanctuary. We all need a place to retreat. We take off our armor, sigh, and are held. Yoga gives you a space to unwind your tension and sink deep into yourself.

Sex does this twofold: you open and sink into yourself and into another person.

4) Breath is key. In yoga, the poses are a vehicle to move the breath. Yoga is like a breath-bath. Every nook and cranny of your being gets cleansed. The breath unclogs stuck energy and gets your system flowing optimally again.

During sex, breathe as consciously and fully as you would during yoga. The breath carries potent, sexual energy (even stronger than regular “chi” or “prana”) throughout your body, rejuvenating and healing you in the process. Deeper breathing also leads to full-body orgasms, multiple orgasms and stamina-building in men.

5) Balancing out with the feminine. Yoga is fantastic for getting you into your archetypal feminine energy: learning how to flow, be receptive and surrender.

In our busy, modern lives, most of us live from our “masculine.” We do more, stay active and driven in order to achieve. We forget that learning to open, attract and receive can be as powerful for getting things done.

The art of surrender is the key to powerful sex. Both sexes can tap into the state of learning how to receive, and how to be.

6) Flexibility in mind and body. The best sex is borne out of an open, non-judgmental way of being: everything is accepted. Plus, the physical ability to hold challenging yogic postures clearly transfers into a talent for marathon sex.

It goes both ways: the ability to cultivate four-hour orgasms will strengthen your yoga practice.

7) Pelvic power. Yoga tones the pelvic floor, bringing more conscious awareness. You will improve sexual sensitivity and boost your orgasmic potential and control.

Sex and yoga help to lubricate the hips and the heart: both crucial tools for day-to-day living and loving. Use both as tools to breakthrough to a state of yo-gasmic bliss.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article