Openers or Nope-ners: What Kind Of First Message Should You Send On Dating Apps?

October 13, 2017January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

The new series of Master of None shows Aziz’s character using the same opener on every single Tinder swipe — does that ever work?

Series two of Aziz Ansari’s award-winning Netflix show, Master of None, features a standalone vignette episode called “First Date.” In the episode, Ansari’s character, Dev, matches with a dozen women on a dating app, and takes each one to the same restaurant, bar, and taxi journey.

Around halfway through the episode, we learn that not only are the dates identical, but the app openers are too.

going to whole foods — *“Going to Whole Foods, want me to pick you up anything?” says Dev to every match.*

Is it a good idea to just keep sending out the same thing — or is that a “nope-ner”?

A good opener is the thing that’s going to get you a conversation, and hopefully a date. A bad one adds you to the list of left-swipes. The “going to whole foods” message seems to be working for Dev, and sums up his foodie nature pretty accurately in just one sentence.

But, unfortunately for Dev, most of my friends’ responses to this stock-messaging was an absolute no. No one did it, and no one admitted to replying to obvious cut and paste openers.

There are swathes of instagram accounts, such as @tindernightmares, filled with screengrabs of the worst, most obvious nope-ners, and the overall response was that it really doesn’t, and shouldn’t, take too much effort to tailor an opener to someone you’re interested in.

One friend, though, admitted a standard cut and paste for her dating app exploits:

asking someone — *Asking someone what state they want to “eliminate” helped her get to know them AND is probably the least sexy question ever — a win-win that any woman could spot.*

Her afterthought made me despair as much as it made me lol — and this is the crux, maybe.

Women on dating apps, as noted in “First Date,” are mostly trying to avoid unsolicited dick pics.

Coming up with a standard opener that not only manages to check a person’s political inclinations, but also is almost impossible to subvert, is actually pretty smart.

I wanted to know, though, if wiping a US state off the face of the earth ever actually got her a date. When I asked, she put it at “an 80 percent success rate” of getting a conversation, which seems like fairly impressive odds.

One of my friends actually admitted to that dating app faux pas — the opening of “hey.”

In the interest of fairness, I also quizzed some boys on whether they ever used the same opening gambit on their dating app adventures. They all said no, but varyingly admitted that their chat depended on whether they were particularly interested in the first place.

I think every single person on a dating app has either sent or received a lazy “hey.” It’s one of the fundamentals of dating apps — you’re swiping left and right and not really paying attention. Maybe you’re multitasking, or maybe it isn’t even you doing the swiping because sometimes a group swiping session is necessary.

Dating apps are convenient. They’re sitting there on your phone, ready and waiting for when you have a spare few minutes. The lazy “hey” almost betrays the lack of care in who you’re actually meeting.

I pushed at this conversation a little bit more, intrigued at whether there was much difference in date-success rates. Somewhat disappointingly, lazy openers apparently ended up on about the same amount of dates as tailored ones. (The non-lazy dates went better, though, apparently.)

Dating apps exist in a strange limbo between the intimate and the impersonal.

Maybe a good cut and paste opener isn’t actually a bad thing (not that we’re advocating no-effort “hey” messages!). People are busy, and dating is time-consuming, especially on an app where you aren’t invested in any one person yet. You need some chat to get to know each other, and then make a decision based on that.

But, putting some effort into the process is a good idea, too, and maybe using the same openers all the time does acknowledge that. It’s a quick way of finding out if something important to you matters to someone else. If they hate the state you love, or if their idea of doing groceries is keeping condiment sachets from their takeaway in the fridge, those are things you’ll want to know pretty quickly.

In that spirit, then: can I pick you up anything from Whole Foods?

For more reading on modern dating, check out “Why I Am Loving The First Date” or “5 Hopeful Dating Tips, From A Woman Who Finally Found Love.”

Taking Up Aerial Yoga and Its Benefits for Health and Wellness

August 1, 2018January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin Body, Wellness

I am trying not to fall on my face. That’s not a metaphor for anything; I mean that I am quite literally trying not to fall on my face. I’m in a hammock, but rather than lying inside it, gently swaying in the breeze, maybe on a beach somewhere, I am crossways with it under my hips. My arms and legs are outstretched, and because “you go where your gaze is,” I am trying to look up and meet my own eyes in the mirrored wall in front of me, and not look down at the floor (causing aforementioned falling). This is my second aerial yoga class, and if anything it’s even more difficult than the first, because I’m now painfully aware of my lack of upper body strength.

Aerial yoga is a combination of yoga, stretching, and acrobatics.

It’s a small class, so that there is enough space for swinging around, and so that the instructor can get around to everyone. Silk-like hammocks are hung from the ceiling, and yoga mats are placed beneath them. I’m still unsure if these are more for cushioning than for the floor-yoga parts of the class. There are warm up stretches done on the floor, and then stretches move into the hammocks. Once everyone is warmed up properly, the inversion part of the class starts. This is where you’ll see people hanging upside down, or wrapping one foot in the hammock to shimmy up it with the other.

Camaraderie is built very quickly in an aerial yoga class, I’ve found. I think this is partly because every inversion feels like a huge accomplishment, and partly because when you are hanging upside down, holding on to the hammock with your ankles, it’s helpful to be able to ask the person who has already flipped through their own hammock which leg you are supposed to cross over where. The mirrored wall in the yoga studio is equal parts help and hindrance when trying to work out left/right and front/back whilst upside down.

Yoga – on its own – is good for your wellbeing. It forces you to focus on your breathing, and to take slow, measured breaths. Movements are purposeful, and generally a yoga class is a calm environment, where you gradually build up your practice into more challenging poses. Yoga isn’t goal-focused (which can be a challenge in itself), and it’s a small, quiet break in our hectic day-to-days. Aerial yoga has all of those benefits, with the additions of having to trust yourself, and of the endorphin hit of having realised that you have indeed managed to scramble up the hammock to the ceiling, and tuck your foot behind your head at the same time. It’s a yoga class, but amped up in the best possible way: more effective, more focused, and with more of an adrenaline rush.

The Hammock both supports your weight and helps you balance, so yoga stretches which are difficult unaided (I’m looking at you, standing splits) are made easier. With the help of the hammock, you’re more flexible because there’s less stress on your joints and muscles. It’s almost a complete body workout, because your core is constantly engaged whilst you’re stretching out your limbs, but because you’re supported by the hammock, and because inversions and poses are aided by gravity, there’s less effort involved than if you were in a HIIT class.

Swinging Like a Spider Monkey

On top of the physical benefits of aerial yoga, the adrenaline rush of finding yourself swinging around like a spider monkey does wonders for your mental wellbeing. It boosts your body’s endorphin, serotonin, and dopamine levels, making you feel happier and have more energy. There’s definitely something to be said for the feeling of achievement in finding yourself in what you thought was a difficult pose. Mostly, though, aerial yoga is a lot of fun. It feels almost childlike, to be suspended upside down, rummaging around inside a giant silk scarf, and using muscles you had forgotten you had. More than once, someone in the class has yelled “woo!” as they fly through a 180. It’s a playground for grown-ups, a workout that feels nothing like working out. It’s more difficult than I imagined it would be before I started, but it’s also much more rewarding.

We’re at the end of the class, and now – finally – comes the lying down, swaying gently part. I highly recommend savasana-ing in a dark green silky cocoon. It’s very relaxing. As the lights come on, and people emerge from their hammocks, there are smiles all around.

Fall Is the Best Time to Find Someone

October 19, 2018January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Is cuffing season backed up by science?

According to Urban Dictionary, “Cuffing Season” is the time of year when people are more likely to look for relationships they can settle down into than looking for casual dating scenarios. As the weather turns cooler, staying cosy with someone is a more attractive option, with the added bonus of having someone to take to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year parties. Running from November until Valentine’s Day (when the cuffing becomes official, or when the weather warms up enough to start venturing out on dates again), we looked at whether this trend had any factual basis, and it turns out that actually… it does. Don’t worry, Cuffing Season doesn’t technically start for a week, so you’ve still got a bit of time to brush up on your science and get some potentials lined up.

Autumnal Aphrodisiacs

We all know that oysters and chocolate act as aphrodisiacs, but we’re well out of oyster season and a way off from Valentine’s Day, so what should we be looking out for in the meantime? Fall means that pumpkins are plentiful, and Jack O’Lantern is an oft overlooked aphrodisiac. Pumpkins are full of antioxidants, and their seeds are packed with zinc and magnesium. Together, those are great for raising testosterone, boosting blood flow, and upping libido. As well as pumpkin carving being a great date idea, the scent of pumpkin pie caused the highest levels of arousal in both male and female participants of a study by Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation. Cinnamon also rated pretty highly, so autumnal scents really topped the test. Bring on Pumpkin Spiced everything!

Rare Flesh

With autumn comes the addition of what feels like an extra layer of clothing every day, but humans might actually be programmed to find each other more attractive as we get more covered up. Researchers discovered that a lack of skin on show in winter made women more alluring to men. Responding to stimuli, the male participants of a trial were more turned on in winter than they were in the summer. It may sound surprising, but those results suggest that the gents in question had become overstimulated to seeing bared bodies just three months earlier. The rumour that everyone looks better in a sweater actually has some truth to it, it would seem. We’re also of the opinion that more men grow beards in the cooler months (to keep their faces warm, we assume), and, like a sweater, every man looks better with a beard.

Don’t be SAD

The nights drawing in are one of the worst parts of the changing seasons. With lower light levels through the day, and darker mornings and evenings, levels of Seasonal Affective Disorder are on the rise. SAD symptoms can be alleviated with special light lamps, or a Vitamin D supplement, but research has also found that physical touch can also provide a massive boost to our wellbeing. As infants, touch is the first of our senses to develop, and science suggests that people who are touch-deprived are more likely to suffer with depressive episodes. Skin to skin contact is vital for humans to feel bonded with others, with benefits starting after just twenty seconds so all the more reason to snuggle up with someone.

Happy Hormones

The seasons have a huge impact on our hormone levels, with testosterone levels peaking – in both men and women – in fall. Studies show that testosterone in men can increase by as much as 31% in late fall and early winter, with sperm counts also rising after taking a dip caused by summer heat. In the US, the highest number of babies are born in August and September, as fertility levels for both men and women are at their peak in November and December. We’d suggest making sure your potential baby-mommy or -daddy have passed the Cuffing Season playoffs before testing out this particular scientific theory, though. Science hasn’t yet shown what it is about the changing seasons that triggers this boost in fertility, but it could be a combination of decreasing daylight, evolutionary survival techniques, and overindulging on the festive eggnogs.

Out with the Old Season In Love

November 9, 2018January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

How our relationships are affected by the changing seasons

As we turn back the clocks and get ready for winter to really set in, autumn seems like a good time to give our relationships a little bit of a shake too – see what’s working, and what’s maybe getting a little bit stale. It’s easy to get into a cold-weather routine. Nights are longer, it’s cold outside, and it’s really much easier to close the curtains and stay indoors instead of venturing out. But that gets old pretty quickly. It’s a positive practice to let go of old things to make room for new growth, and this goes for relationships too. As the nights draw in, finding balance in your relationships can help lead into winter – creating new habits together and removing any blocks that might be stagnating your partnership.

Pay better attention

Listening to the other person is one of the most important features of a positive relationship. It works not only to make them feel like you care what they’re saying, but also means you both relate to each other more effectively, and that you find yourselves both more actively interested in each other. Paying attention is a quiet way of supporting your partner, and working on this as a skill can only ever be a good thing. Developing your listening skills can be as simple as putting your phone away when you’re talking, and making sure that you aren’t interrupting the other person. It goes both ways too, and you’ll usually find that if you make the effort to be a better listener to someone, they’ll reflect the same back to you. Most of the time, it’s about awareness, so head out to a quiet bar, leave your phone in your pocket, and make sure you’re spending some quality time with your partner.

Darker date nights

In the summer, it’s easy to be spontaneous. The sun is shining, it’s much nicer to spend time outdoors, and it’s easy to set up a last-minute barbeque or trip to the beach. As the daylight hours get shorter, we want to make the most of them, but accepting the darkness is an option too! Check out what’s going on where you live – there’ll be festive fairgrounds opening soon, and wrapping up to head out for mulled wine and fireworks is never a bad idea. When staying indoors is a better idea, check what’s on at local galleries or museums, where you can wander for a couple of hours. If that’s not your thing, lots of restaurants start switching to a winter menu, so you could make a list of places to try out together and find a new favourite spot.

Back to school

For better or worse, years of school mean that even as adults we are programmed to feel like the changing seasons equal new beginnings. This can spell disaster for relationships, especially ones that seem less exciting because you’ve settled in, but it doesn’t have to. Instead of lamenting the loss of learning, invest your time together in teaching yourselves something new. Many colleges offer six-week courses, or you can find all sorts of things on the internet. Enroll on a creative course, learn a language together, or try out something sexier, like a tantric workshop. Couples who participate in activities together find that their relationships are more rounded, and less likely to feel stagnant. Embarking on a new project together will mean you can both support each other as you go along, and you might find a new joint passion.

Build your nest

Of course, there’s always the option of actually embracing the feeling of wanting to stay inside and get cosy – and it’s always much nicer to netflix and chill with someone you love. There are some obvious benefits to staying in bed all winter, but there’s also another bonus: creating a wintery nest for you to hibernate in together! Cohabiting, or even just sharing a bed occasionally, is a good excuse to light some candles and stock up on cosy cushions and fleecey throws. Make a blanket fort for the two of you to hide in, and practice finding a balance together, ready for the winter.

Fall is a great opportunity to spend some time reevaluating your goals, and the best way to build your relationship is to talk through what you and your partner are looking for, together. Don’t be afraid to talk about stripping back old habits, to make room for the next exciting stages!

6 Things Successful Couples Do to Appreciate a Significant Other

November 28, 2018January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

How do you show your partner that you appreciate them?

In a long-term relationship, feeling taken for granted sometimes is an easy trap to fall into. Most long-term couples find that occasionally the balance seems to shift, and one person takes on more of the labour, be it due to work commitments or a more gradual move into bad habits which become routine. We set out to find out how couples in long-term relationships stop their partners from feeling underappreciated by asking them “how do you show your partner they matter to you?”

“I do the chores they hate”

Far and away, domestic chores took the medal for being the most common demonstration of partner-appreciation. From taking the bins out, to doing the washing up, to changing the cat litter, household tasks were the biggest response. Not just any household tasks though; specifically the ones their partner most hated doing.

“I cook for them”

An unsurprising runner up – the way to everyone’s hearts, it seems, is through their stomach. Cooking a nice dinner when they’ve had a bad day, making breakfast every Saturday morning, and giving them the best bits of a meal all popped up as answers. It’s not just meals though; people also love buying chocolates for their significant other, or baking loaves of bread at the weekend, or making lunches for them to take to work. In the same vein, there’s also getting a takeout, and having someone else bring the food!

“I take them out on a date”

Ah, date night. This can fall by the wayside in a long-term relationship, especially as the weather cools and it’s nicer to stay indoors. But putting in a little bit of effort can go a long way. Some people said that they planned meals out – a date night with the added advantage of no dishes to clean afterwards. If there’s a film they’ve been wanting to see, you can have a couple of hours distraction-free instead of waiting for it to hit Netflix.

“I take care of them”

Letting the other person sleep in was a popular one, especially with new parents. An extra hour in bed in the morning might be more necessary than it seems, and helping out by getting up and taking care of the kids is a hugely symbolic gesture of appreciation. Imagine this doubled with breakfast in bed too! Care-taking gestures also included running them a bubble bath after a long day, and giving them a foot rub. Looking after someone is a great way of making them feel like they matter, and even more so if the gesture is acknowledging that they’ve had a bad day, or that they’re feeling a bit tired or run-down. Reminding them that they need to take some time for self-care is thoughtful, but going some ways toward carving out that time for them is even better.

“I buy flowers”

Everybody loves flowers, right? The problem is that they’ve come to symbolise apologies for wrongdoing, so flowers are sometimes a fraughtly given gift and have fallen out of favour a little bit. However, ‘Just Because’ flowers always go down well, because who doesn’t love a delivery of fresh blooms? Extra points for knowing their favourite flowers and including them in the bouquet. There were also people buying little gifts for no reason, too. Surprising someone with a gift they aren’t expecting, but that you know they’d love is a nice way of letting someone know that you value them, even if it’s something small.

“I send a text”

In our age of technology, we’re almost always connected, but an unexpected SMS or email is a nice gesture to let someone know that you’re thinking of them in that moment. Having someone pop up on your phone to randomly tell you that you’re on their mind is never a bad thing. It’s nice to be reminded that you’re thought of when you aren’t physically in the same room.

Overwhelmingly, though, it was the thought behind the gesture that meant more than the gesture itself – as much as foot rubs and flowers are lovely to receive, the feeling of being appreciated was far bigger than the action itself, and went much further.

What about you? Do you buy flowers, or are you more of a breakfast in bed person? What little things do you do to show someone you care?

Summer Loving in London

May 29, 2019January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

London shows another side of itself when the sun comes out. After months of jumpers and umbrellas, the grey finally lifts and London reminds everyone just why the city is so great. The first warm day is marked with a sudden outpouring of milk-bottle limbs lying on every patch of green available. It’s not wholly unknown for Londoners to get their bikinis on for a lunch hour in the park. There’s another definite upside to the welcoming of summer, and that’s that we finally can venture outside for dates in the sunshine. Here’s our pick of London’s best summer date spots.

Primrose Hill

Technically part of Regent’s Park, Primrose Hill boasts arguably the best views in London. You can see the whole of London’s skyline, and you’ll have an almost 360 degree view of the surrounding area. Swing past a supermarket on your way into the park, and you’llhave the perfect picninc date be able to picnic (with a can of G&T) on the hill. Once all the mini sausages have gone, head back down to Regent’s Park, where you can walk along the canal past London Zoo. Depending on the time of day, you can watch the painted dogs from the other side of the river. Regent’s Park also has its own outdoor theatre during the summer.

If you and your date are looking for’re after more sunny wandering, the streets of Primrose Hill are covered in English Heritage blue plaques, and you can spot where Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath lived, as well as Dylan Thomas and Friedrich Engels. More recently, the Primrose Hill Set – Kate Moss, Sadie Frost, and Jude Law – and other celebrities have lived in the area, and you might spot them (especially around Chalcot Square) if you’re lucky!

Tube: Chalk Farm / Kentish Town

Columbia Road Flower Market

Heading East, Columbia Road’s famous Flower Market is not to be missed. Open from 8am on a Sunday morning until around 3pm, we’d recommend visiting either first thing or just before closing to beat the worst of the crowds. Losing your sweetheart in a jungle of monstera leaves doesn’t lead to the most romantic outing. If you go early, make a morning of it with a wander through the flower market and then up to Broadway Market (about a ten minute walk) for a brunch date. If it’s still sunny, and you’re both feeling like showing your summer bodiesy off, head to the Lido at London Fields.

If you’re planning an afternoon visit to the flower market, Hackney’s City Farm is super close, so you can take your datego there for a delicious lunch and to see the donkeys first, and then head down to buy your beaudate some peonies.

Top tips: never buy from the first stall, always take cash with you, and make sure you go home with a new plant!

Tube: Shoreditch High Street / Bethnal Green / Old Street

The Luna Cinema

What do you mean, you’ve never watched JAWS while sitting in a blow up rubber dinghy in a swimming pool? If that’s your idea of a perfect date night (and, let’s be honest, do you want to date someone who doesn’t think that’s fun?), then the Luna Cinema should be on your list. They’ve got popup venues all over London, but we’re calling Brockwell Lido in South London as the best one. You can share a dinghy in the pool, or there are deckchairs around the edges if you’re not quite ready for the loveboats yet.

Tube: Brixton / Herne Hill

Outdoor Dining

For somewhere so cold and wet for so much of the year, London is surprisingly good at dining al fresco.

Mercato Metropolitano in Borough is one of the best street food markets, open all day every day, and offering everything from pizza slices to jackfruit burgers to raclette. It’s an excellent summertime date night, especially if neither of you can decide what to eat. There’s a great cocktail bar, and a cinema tucked away at the back of the warehouse section.

Tube: Elephant & Castle

Gordon’s WIne Bar is another excellent option for outdoor dating. Thought to be London’s oldest wine bar, it’s tucked away in Embankment, where you can sit out on the river with a bottle of wine and a cheese board when the weather is nice. To ramp up the romance, head back inside and nab one of the candlelit tables downstairs.

Tube: Embankment

Get out of town

London in the sun is great, but it’s also closer to the seaside than you think. Hop on the train at London Bridge and you can be at the Brighton Pavilion in an hour. Brighton is a perfect date location, with winding lanes of vintage shops, quaint pubs on almost every corner to stop for a drink, and a plethora of fish and chip shops where you can get your meal wrapped up to take on the beach. On the pier, you and your date can head into the amusement arcade, or take a spin on the rollercoasters.

In the other direction, head up the Essex coast to Leigh-on-Sea, recently surveyed as the happiest place to live in the UK. With excellent fish restaurants, and a row of perfect pastel cockle sheds on the beach, Leigh is an instagram dream. If you’re looking for a date that’ll look great on your Stories, this is the one.

Trains: London Bridge / Fenchurch Street / Liverpool Street

5 Best Romantic Cities in Europe Now

July 2, 2019January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

We know that Paris is the city of love, but if you’re looking for something less cliched, we’ve got you. Europe has a whole host of surprisingly romantic cities to whirl off to for a weekend.

Ljubljana, Slovenia

Ljubljana (try to say it quickly — it’s “lyoo-bly-anuh”) is one of Europe’s most underrated capitals. The wealthiest of the former Yugoslav states, Slovenia leans far more towards art nouveau than communist bloc in its architecture, with pastel buildings and pretty bridges.

There are boat cruises along the river, and once you’ve disembarked, you can while away a few hours at the riverside cafes. If you’re looking for a slightly different way to explore the city, you can rent Stand Up Paddleboards to go along the Ljubljanica instead.

Tivoli Park is a great daytime date location – there are tennis courts and mini golf, and a promenade which doubles as an art gallery in the summer. Take a picnic with you, and sit in the gardens for as long as you like.

If you’re staying a little longer than a weekend, the trip out to Lake Bled (around 55km from the city) is well worth it.

Istanbul, Turkey

For a really unusual date, visit the Basilica Cistern. It was built to supply water to the Byzantine palace, but now is open to the public. With classical music reverberating around the domed archways, it’s a truly impressive experience.

Hammam is usually a same-sex activity, but some of the hammams in the city now offer couples massages; you’ll need to book in advance, but it’s worth it. Itsanbul’s hammams are some of the best.

Just a short boat ride from the capital city are the Prince Islands; nine beautiful islands where cars are banned and instead you’ll be transported by horse drawn carriage. Buyukada is the biggest island, but you can hop between them, dining on the freshest seafood as you go along.

Porto, Portugal

Just a short train ride from livelier Lisbon, Porto is an excellent alternative for a romantic trip. Find a Fado show, and listen to Portuguese guitar over a shared bottle of green wine, or glasses of Port. The Fado shows usually include dinner, so they make for a great evening out.

Porto also offers some great views across the ocean — there are viewpoints dotted all the way along the coast, and if you wander too far, you can hop on a tram to get back and take in the views as you travel.

Budapest, Hungary

Built on a series of thermal spas, Budapest is a great weekend getaway spot. Stroll along the Danube before heading into one of the many spas — in the summer, both indoor and outdoor pools are open. The Széchenyi is the largest medicinal baths in Europe, while the Gellert Spas offer some stunning architecture to stare at while you soak.

If you do choose the Gellert, you can walk up the hill above the spa afterwards too, to see the spectacular views of the city. Watch the sun set (or drag yourselves out early for the sunrise, if you’re early birds), and then have dinner in one of the traditional Hungarian restaurants at the bottom of Gellert Hill.

Naples, Italy

Home of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan series, as well as Neapolitan ice cream, and (of course) the best pizza in the world, Naples is a much more interesting choice of city break if you’re heading to Italy. Visit the castle fort of Castell dell’Ovo on the island of Megaride (accessible by footpath), and walk up to the village of Borgo dei Marinari for dinner and to discuss the superstitions of the fortress.

You can also visit the ruins of Pompeii from Naples. Preserved by the ash falling after Mount Vesuvius’ huge eruption in 79AD, you can walk through the city itself, and see its amphitheatre and temples. To delve even further into the area’s history, head to Herculaneum. It’s another town that was destroyed by the volcano, but is better preserved, with mosaics and frescos still intact.

If you’re feeling fancy, hop on a boat to Capri — the trip to the island takes around two hours and ferries run fairly frequently. Wander around the harbour and take in the view of Naples from afar.

Away on Holiday Sex

July 16, 2019January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin Sex, SEX TIPS

With holiday season upon us, we were interested to know just how different the sex we’re having on vacation is, compared to the sex we have at home. Whether it’s the weather or the break in routine, we set out to discover how couples respond to each other on holidays, and if they’re really having more sex or not.

We set up some polls on twitter, and it turns out, perhaps unsurprisingly, that most couples do have more sex on vacation, with 100% of the people we asked saying that they spend more time having sex on holiday than they do at home. The people we additionally asked in person weren’t quite as sex-driven on vacation, but the majority said that yes, they did have more sex away from home. We wanted to know why, too: 33% thought that the reason was that they are more relaxed on a trip, and 40% found a break from their usual routines was the biggest contributor. Another factor was the amount of time couples spent together; whereas at home they were distracted with work and family commitments, a holiday was a solid amount of time spent together, and so there’s more opportunity for having sex.

Routine, it’s frequently said, is the killer for most sex lives. We go to work, we go home, we go to sleep. Once we add in a few nights out with friends, or visits to see family, there’s not much time left over, and sometimes quality time with a partner slips on the list of priorities. Taking a vacation as a couple can be a good time to remedy that. A loss of libido can have many different causes – find some natural ways to boost yours here.

For the few who said that they had less sex on holiday, it was mostly due to the proximity of family members, and we get it. Sharing a holiday rental with your in-laws is probably not going to turn you on. If you’re in a situation where penetrative sex isn’t an option, here are some intimacy techniques to try.

Activity-based holidays were a factor too. Sharing hobbies is a great way to reconnect with a partner, but sometimes, you just want to sleep, especially if you’ve spent the day hiking, or if you’re in a cramped tent adventuring somewhere in the great outdoors.

But what about a different kind of holiday adventure? Most people we asked (71%) didn’t have (or didn’t want to have) more adventurous sex on holiday — they said that they would rather be in their own homes, especially if they were planning to try something completely new. But some said that a vacation is a good excuse to try out more adventurous sex, especially if the trip was mostly for relaxing, with no family or activities around. “For me, this totally depends where we are and what kind of holiday we are on,” was one response.

Shaking up your sexual style totally depends on the relationship you have, and how comfortable you are with being more adventurous away from home plays into that. Your hotel room might have some opinions about you installing a swing, but a lazy vacation can be a great time for trying out new toys. (Don’t forget that lithium batteries can’t go in your checked baggage!) If roleplay is your thing, being in a new setting can give you some inspiration.

Finally, solo vacationers were sometimes having more sex too – though the kind of holiday had the most impact. A boozy beach week away with friends was more likely to end in hooking up than a culture soaked city break.