Why Foreplay is So Important

You and your partner are relaxing together on a Saturday night. One person gets horny, and suddenly things start to heat up.

Once the clothes come off, don’t just have sex right away. You have to be intimate with your partner and let it happen naturally. Enjoy the buildup to sex; engage in foreplay.

Foreplay not only helps you get more intimate with your partner, but also makes things lively in bed. It’s something both you and your partner should have fun with. Whether it’s cuddling, touching, or kissing, foreplay is important because it makes sex more enjoyable.

Foreplay is about building an emotional connection and getting the excitement going, according to Everyday Health.

Being emotionally connected to your partner can give you some of the best feelings ever, and the intimacy will bring you both closer to one another once you’re done. If you and your partner never discussed what you both like and don’t like sexually, then talking about it will make things easier. When you establish what you want, then foreplay should become fun for both you and your partner.

Couple In Love

Once you both talk about what you specifically want from each other, go all the way with it. Kiss your partner all over their body. Touch the spots of their body that make them tingle inside. Experiment with each other.

What would sex be without foreplay? I’m pretty sure it would be boring. If you and your partner neglect to engage in foreplay, then you should consider getting into it if the sex isn’t that good.

Before sex, you want to make sure that you are really aroused.You and your partner should probably do everything sexual to keep the excitement going. However, you don’t have to do this for hours (unless you really need it). A few minutes or more is all it should take to get both of you aroused.

Without foreplay, it would just be a “quickie” instead of long-lasting, amazing sex. If you skip out on foreplay, then you’re missing out on the “warmup” to good sex. Foreplay is like the buildup to the finale in a good movie. It makes the climax better. Not to say that your expectations of foreplay should be similar to my analogy, but it should feel special to everyone in some way.

So don’t be afraid to do sexual things with your partner. If you both know what you want, then engage in foreplay before sex. If you don’t, you’re missing out on what could be really exciting for both you and your partner. Sex should be great for both of you and foreplay is just the beginning of what could turn out amazingly.

Curated by Erbe

Original Article


4 Easy, Erotic Ways To Get Your Man BEGGING For More

Who doesn’t want their partner on the edge of their seat ready for sex? 

With these tips, you’ll have him begging for more.

Learning how to satisfy your man sexually is a lot easier than you think. You don’t need to be a porn star or a some sort of sex crazed nymphomaniac to make sure that you give him a good time. In this article I want to teach you how to have sex to give your man the most pleasure he’s ever had in his life.

1. Find Out His Kinks, Fantasies And Fetishes:

Every guy has certain things that are massive turn ons for them. It could be when you wear an extra tight pair of jeans or a pair of sexy heels or that top that reveals your cleavage more than usual. But with that being said, it could perhaps be something a little more wild. He might love the idea of seeing you with another woman or even another man. Or maybe he really wants to try anal sex with you. Or maybe he has a thing for feet.

If you are serious about satisfying your man sexually in the bedroom, then the most powerful thing that you can do is find out what his kinks, fantasies and fetishes are and then do them with him. Doing them with your man is actually the easy part. Finding them out and getting your man to open up is the hard part. Often your man may be slightly embarrassed or reluctant to talk about them with you. To get him to relax and open up to you is not that easy unfortunately.

One way to approach it is to tell him some of yours first. Being the first to share is a great way to get him to reciprocate. Another way is to just say that you want to try lots of different things with him. As you explain to your man each thing that you want to try with him, try to judge his reaction. Obviously he is going to look more keen and excited about certain ideas than others.

Sexy couple in the car2. Learn How To Talk Dirty:

Yes, we all know that men are turned on mostly by what they see. But what you may not know is that if you want to vastly increase his sexual satisfaction when you are in bed together, then you need to learn how to talk dirty to him. Talking dirty to your man takes a little practice and work. But once you master it, you’ll have another skill in your sex toolset that most other girls don’t possess. The first stage to talking dirty to your man doesn’t actually involve words. It simply involves you getting louder and louder during sex. You need to accentuate your moans and groans. This is quite easy. A

ll you are going to be moaning is, “Mmmmmm” or “Ooooooo” or “Ahhhhh.” Easy, right? The next stage to talking dirty is just using 1 or 2 words. Try slowly saying, “Yes” or “That’s it” or “Yes, Yes” or “Keep Going.” When you are saying these 1 or 2 word phrases, try drawing them out and moaning as you say them.

Many women don’t ever even get to the second stage. So if you do, you are already ahead of them! Getting dirtier is actually pretty easy if you’ve mastered the first 2 stages. You just need to start telling your man what you enjoy about him and what he is doing, “I love how big you feel” or “Keep hitting that spot” or “Keep going, harder” or “You feel so good inside me.” But dirty talk during sex is only a start! Don’t forget that you can talk dirty to him during the day as well as through text if you want to turn him on and keep him satisfied.

30 Sexy Fantasies To Turn Into Reality

Make your own fireworks with these steamy fantasies!

Because a sex life filled with imagination is a better one.

Whether you’ve been together for two years or sixteen, you know how important passion is in your relationship. But did you know how key fantasies are in having a happy relationship? Being able to communicate your desires to your partner, keep things new and add imagination to sex will do wonders for you—both in the bedroom and outside.

And you’re not alone: About 95 percent of people report that they have sexual fantasies. According to a study conducted at the University of Granada, “women have pleasant romantic fantasies more frequently than men—a few times a month. Men, however, fantasize more frequently about sexcapades involving “being promiscuous”, “being a swinger”,”participating in an orgy.”

But don’t let these preferences hold you back, there are tons of fantasies to try with your significant other. Shares your desires, experiment and discover out what works best for you both as a couple.

You may surprise yourself—and get closer to your partner in the process.

1. Boss & Employee Fantasy
Just a few months ago, we told you that 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies about getting it on with coworkers in their office. So why not dress up in your work attire, get behind the desk and re-create the hot new hookup scenario that’s been on your mind? The allure of having sex with a coworker, especially your boss has to do with power—gaining it.

2. Ravishment Fantasy
According to a study from UCLA, 64 percent of women fantasize about this passionate and forceful kind of love. Why? Researchers felt that by imagining the man telling her what to do, the woman is able to give herself “permission to do the raunchy, hot sex stuff she feels a little embarrassed about, but deep down really does want to try.”

Now does the Fifty Shades Of Grey frenzy make more sense to you? YourTango expert Tammy Nelson explains that being ravished makes sense on an anatomical level for women, too. “A woman has to physically let go in order to orgasm.”

3. Storybook Lover Fantasy
This fantasy is more based on love that can be found in romance novels than the kind that takes place in the Victorian era. See how one woman’s sex dream came true when she told her boyfriend about her Clark Kent fantasy.

4. Be An Exhibitionist 
In his study of sexual fantasy, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?, Brett Kahr found 19 percent of people fantasize about being watched during sex — and another 5 percent fantasize about taking it off in public. In for the risk? Put on a show. Get it on near the windows in your home or hotel room.

5. Be Voyeuristic
Does watching the show from the sidelines turn you on? Whether you’re spying on the neighbors or the couple getting it on at the beach, this fantasy is a common one. One easy way to make it happen? Go to nude beach or a sex show with your partner.

6. Watch Each Other Masturbate
Put a twist on your voyeuristic fantasy by watching your partner masturbate — or let them watch you. It will help them understand more of what you desire, and of course, it’s an instant turn on.

7. The Stranger Fantasy
Sharing a fantasy for the very first time? Here’s an easy one both men and women enjoy. There’s something sexy and mysterious about anonymity. In fact, the LELO Global Sex Survey discovered that having sex with a stranger is on the rise this year. Easy way to get in on the trend? Turn yourselves into strangers. For as long as you’ve known your partner, pretend you don’t. Different clothes, new hairstyles, different personalities, different names. Start by meeting at the bar and then take your new friend home — keep in character the entire time.

8. Make A Sex Video
Listen up, fellas, while you may be the more visual sex, women are interested in porn, too. A Stanford University study found that women reach peak arousal after just two minutes into an erotic flick. According to Men’s Health, it’s not just celebrities who want to make sex tapes — 40 percent of women want to made a homemade flick with their partners. In 2012, 28 percent of women made a sex video with their guy and in 2014, that number is expected to climb to 52 percent. So get on it while it’s hot. After you watch it make sure to hide it safely or quickly delete it.

His 9 Pleasure Triggers to Sexual Bliss

Have you explored these zones? 

As you know, the male body is definitely a hotbed of feel-good zones. But now experts are saying there are nine special, cream-of-the-crop spots that do double duty when it comes to sexual gratification. We’re talking about passion points hiding in plain sight that even he may not be clued in to. Touching and teasing them the right way will turn on all of his senses and make him feel so good, he’ll think he’s gone to pleasure heaven. “These are places on his body that are literal hot spots, loaded with supersensitive nerve endings that instantly rev him up when stimulated,” explains Patti Britton, PhD, Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist and author of the The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Sensual Massage. Here, check out our guide to those nine naughty triggers, as well as the specific lick, squeeze and stroke technique for each that will send him into orgasmic overdrive.

The Outside of His Lower Lip

The male mouth is an obvious moan zone. But zeroing in on that slope between his outside lower lip and chin will bring ultraintense bliss to his kisser. We’ve discovered that this tiny, delicate curve is packed with extrasensitive nerve receptors, says Lou Paget, author of The Big O and a certified sex educator.

Manhandle-him move: While making out, suck his lower lip into your mouth. Use the tip of your tongue to stroke up and down mere millimeters below it. “That motion stimulates the whole erogenous zone in a teasing way, which will put him on the erotic edge,” says Paget. “And by keeping his lower lip inside yours, you magnify the sensation. It’ll feel as if electric currents are shooting from his mouth straight to his member.”
Topless couple indulging in foreplay with woman licking man's th

The Front of His Neck

Women tend to pay oral attention to the sides of his neck between his ear and his collar — but it turns out they’re missing the major stimulation spot: just below his Adam’s apple. “The thyroid, a butterfly-shaped gland about halfway down the front of his neck, is closely linked to the sex organs, according to ancient Chinese medicine,” says reflexologist Master Mantak Chia, author of Sexual Reflexology.

Manhandle-him move: Have your guy lie on his back with a pillow plumped behind his head so his neck is exposed and slightly arched forward. Warm him up by brushing your wet lips against the hollow of his throat. Next, run the soft flat of your tongue straight up until you’re licking his Adam’s apple. The thyroid is just beneath it; dip down and pause here and massage the area in wide circular motions with your tongue. “Teasing him in circles ensures that you excite the entire thyroid, so he gets maximum pleasure,” says Chia. He’ll be so hot and bothered, he’ll gurgle your name in gratitude.

His Nipples

You know that your nipples are a carnal command center. Yet experts found your guy’s headlights might be even more sensitive, since most men aren’t used to having these sexy switches lavished with attention. “For a lot of men, their nipples are uncharted territory — an erogenous zone they haven’t experimented with,” explains Britton. Touch them, however, and you’ll send shock waves of pleasure radiating through him, she adds.

Manhandle-him move: Our ultimate manipulation trick is called the ice cream swirl. While he’s stretched out on his back, “slowly lick in a circle starting outside his areola, circling closer toward the nipple as you would an ice cream cone,” says Britton. Keep tantalizing him by zeroing in closer with your tongue. Finally, quickly flick the nipple, then very gently bite it. “Men love when you slowly build up the pressure like that,” she says. So don’t be afraid to nip him harder than you would like to be.

To up the erotic ante, suck on an ice cube before you begin. Your cold tongue will supercharge the concentrated cluster of nipple nerve endings.

New Foreplay Sweet Spots to Explore

Foreplay can be very important to make your love-making last longer and be intense. Did you know there are way more spots on your body to stimulate that you may be overlooking?

Chances are, you and your guy have a few go-to moves that are guaranteed to get you both hot and primed for action. And while it’s great that you know what works on your bodies, sticking to the same old thing (an ear nibble here, a nipple lick there) won’t lead to a bed-shaking finale. “When you touch each other in a familiar way every time, your body becomes desensitized, and it won’t feel as arousing,” says Lori Buckley, PhD, a sex therapist in Pasadena, California.

So, on the hunt for new tricks, we consulted top foreplay experts and discovered uncharted erogenous zones so packed with powerful nerve endings, just touching them takes you from 0 to, um, 69. Read on to find out where they are and how you can electrify them tonight.


The Ultrasensitive Border Around the Lips

Okay, so you know how to kiss. But what you probably don’t know is that there’s an undercover pleasure transmitter, the buccal nerve, surrounding the edges of the mouth.

“This area is extremely sensitive to touch, but it’s often overlooked since most people focus on the plump part of the lips,” says clinical sexologist Rachael Ross, MD, PhD. If you try lightly tracing the tip of your finger around the edges of your mouth (like you’re putting on lip liner), you’ll experience a tingly, almost ticklish feeling.

When you’re making out, you don’t need to lick around his entire mouth to get the benefits — that would be weird. Instead, kiss him as you normally do, then use the tip of your tongue to trace the edge of his upper lip lightly. Pull back and playfully kiss him again, then trace the border of his bottom lip. “It subconsciously reminds him of your tongue swirling around the tip of his penis,” says Dr. Ross. The technique works when he does it to you too, triggering thoughts of what his tongue can do below the belt.Kissing And Playing In Bed


That Sexy Dip Where Neck Meets Chest

The entire area between your jawline and shoulders is an erogenous zone, but there’s one particular destination that’ll spark more goose bumps than any other part. “It’s that little indentation where the neck connects with the collarbone,” says Leah Millheiser, MD, director of female sexual medicine at Stanford Medical Center. “The skin is thinner there, and there’s not as much fatty tissue underneath, so the sensations are stronger.” In other words, touching this area feels damn good.

So as you kiss down his neck, trail the tips of your index and middle fingers from one shoulder to the dip in the center, lingering to swirl your fingers in a slow, circular motion. Then move your mouth over the spot and kiss it, using your breath to warm the area.

“The combination of the heat and touch relaxes the body, turning you on,” says Buckley. “Plus, when your guy touches you here, your entire chest becomes more sensitive, including your breasts, which increases your pleasure.”

10 Sheet Grabbing Foreplays

Finding foreplay repetitive? When it comes to getting in the mood, foreplay is by far the most important aspect of sex. But don’t worry there’s always something for you and your partner to enjoy. We butted heads with top sexperts and rounded up the 10 best foreplay tips guaranteed to make you and your partner go wild. Here’s what you need to know…

Sex should be fun, playful and anything but boring so why not invest some time and effort into your foreplay techniques? Trust us, it CAN go a long way!

Author of Sex Academy, Dr Pam Spurr says, “For no holds barred pleasure the best foreplay really teases your partner increasing their desire meaning they’re far more likely to climax.”

There’s always a time and a place for a tease and when you’re warming up before getting down, there’s no better time to use your foreplay skills to your advantage. Remember, it’s all about the anticipation.

So to help you make sex exciting again we got together with the best sex and relationships experts out there to share their advice on mind blowing foreplay. Ladies, here’s how to fire him up…

1. Eastern swirl and poke

Dr Pam suggests a little trick that your man can use to make you go wild.

“When you’ve started foreplay and you’re kissing and caressing, he should move on down your body and use the ‘Eastern Swirl and Poke’ kissing technique,” she explains.

“He relaxes his lips and allows his tongue to swirl around the tips of your nipples. Then he alternates this sensation with a gentle poking action from the tip of his tongue. He can also move down your body to use on you for oral-sex pleasure.” Show him how you like.

2. Go for the grind

Founder of Cliterati.co.uk, Emily Dubberly says it’s all about grinding to get you worked up.

Rather than going purely for penetration or clitoral stimulation, try grinding against your man’s thigh or opt for some good old-fashioned dry humping,” she suggests.” That way, you can stimulate your pubic mound and way more of your clitoris than usual – it can work just as well with your clothes on as off.”

One thing for your man to consider is paying more attention to your breasts. Sexpert and owner of online sex retailer Jo Divine, Samantha Evans says, “Most men love boobs but don’t give them much attention during foreplay, rushing to your more obvious body parts. Get your man to devote more time, lavishly massaging oil into your gorgeous breasts and concentrating on your nipples with both his fingers and mouth”. You’ll both enjoy it!

3. Moves like a movie star

Being a bit of a tease is a good thing when it comes to foreplay so when you’re getting down to it, why not try and keep up the anticipation for an entire film?

“If you want to really turn your guy on try lubing your hand thoroughly then gripping and releasing your man rather than sliding your hand up and down – this will make it easier for you to keep going for longer.

Position your thumb on the frenulum (the stringy bit that runs from the head to the shaft) as it tends to be the most sensitive. Try teasing him for an ENTIRE film, stopping just before climax then starting again for a truly explosive finish.” Works every time. Massage him with YES Organic Lube and watch him go wild.

How Long FOREPLAY and SEX Really Last

Ever wonder what real women in real bedrooms are doing under the duvet covers?

Glamour surveyed 1,000 young women for their answers on a typical night in, timed. Here’s how many minutes you say foreplay and sex last:


Average Length of Sex and Foreplay

Less than 5 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 23%
    • Sex: 8%

5 to 9 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 33%
    • Sex: 25%

10 to 14 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 24%
    • Sex: 28%

15 to 19 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 12%
    • Sex: 17%

20 minutes or more:

    • Foreplay: 8%
    • Sex: 22%

So, according to our survey, the majority of you spend 5 to 9 minutes on foreplay and 10 to 14 minutes on sex. How many minutes do you spend?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Foreplay With Your Feet, Here’s How

Kisses on the neck, a shoulder rubdown, a nibble on the nips—it’s all great foreplay, but hardly unpredictable.

Want to mix things up? Get your feet in the game. Your toes and soles are jam-packed with nerve-endings, making your tootsies one of the most sensitive parts of your body. Not a foot person? These six tricks might just win you over.

1. Tie ‘Em Up

If you haven’t tried bondage, make this your first foray. Using a scarf or necktie, loosely tie your partner’s feet to the bedposts or legs of a chair, says Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., Astroglide’s resident sex and relationships expert. He’ll feel vulnerable and get to zone in on whatever naughty, pleasurable thing you do to him next. Just make sure to switch turns.

2. Give a Rub Down

“There’s something sexy about playing the role of submissive and serving your lover, as long as it goes both ways,” says O’Reilly. Try washing your partner’s feet, then place a pillow on your lap and give him a massage. Use your fingers to squeeze and knead all over, or hold the ankle steady with one hand while rotating the foot clockwise and counterclockwise with the other.

3. Play Footsie

It may sound elementary, but rubbing your toes along your partner’s calves, feet, or inner thighs under the table is the perfect primer for sexy shenanigans, says O’Reilly. Slip your shoes off and don’t make eye contact at first—then, once you’ve built up enough anticipation, send over that mischievous ‘let’s get out of here’ glance.

4. Get Warm

Cold feet could literally be cock-blocking your pleasure: “Research suggests women are more likely to orgasm when their feet are warm, so have him rub them down with oil before you get frisky,” says O’Reilly. Giving the thermostat a boost before getting it on could help, too—and no judgment if your juices flow better with socks on.

5. Slip on Heels

Some dudes will notice a pedicure—most won’t. What they do see? Sexy, strappy heels and thigh-high stockings. Strut your stuff before having him unbuckle your shoes or roll down your tights in slo-mo.

6. Hit the Hot Spots

Glide your toes gently over your partner’s sensitive zones (think: hips,penis, small of the back, or breasts if he’s doing it to you.) “No technique is universally loved or loathed, but a number of my clients rave about partners who gently brush their feet up against the penis—it’s simultaneously pleasurable, taboo, and threatening,” says O’Reilly.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Oral Foreplay — What’s Sexy and What’s Not

If you’ve ever given or received oral sex, then you already know that doing it for the first time comes with more than a few surprises.

When I think about the first time I had oral sex, I remember it being as disappointing and awkward as it was hilarious — and I don’t think my story is a unique one. The truth is, there’s just a lot of things no one tells you about oral sex. If you’ve ever given or received oral sex, then you already know that doing it for the first time comes with more than a few surprises. Some of these surprises are pleasant ones; others, not so much. Regardless, there’s just a lot of things about it that you can only learn from experience.

Though I think I’m pretty skilled at the act of giving head now, and I genuinely enjoy doing it, it’s only because I’ve had plenty of practice. Whether you love it or hate it, though, I think we can all agree there’s a lot of things no one tells you about oral sex. Lots of sex education passes right over it. Romance novels would have us believe that receiving oral sex results in multiple orgasms, typically within five minutes. The majority of heterosexual porn makes giving head to men look straight up painful and degrading. None of these depictions are accurate (and also, no one bothers to tell you that giving head for very long at all will make your jaw sore AF the next day).

So if you’ve never had oral sex and you want to know what to expect, or you’re an oral sexpert who wants to remember what it was like when you started out, then read on. Here’s 13 things no one tells you about oral sex.

You’re Probably Going To Suck At Oral In The Beginning

Yes, the pun was intended in the headline. Hey, you could be the one person in history who’s a champ at oral sex from their very first time. Realistically, though, you’re probably not going to have any idea about what you’re doing in the beginning, even if you’ve studied a lot. And that’s OK. Oral sex isn’t as easy as it looks. Whether you’re giving oral to a man or a woman, your mouth, throat, and jaw are doing all sorts of things that they’ve never done before. So don’t be upset if you’re not a head-giving rock star when you’re just starting out.

2. Giving Oral Can Be Super Fun

Maybe someone told you this prior to your first experience with oral, but no one told me — and I wish they would have. Although I’ve never had oral sex with a woman, I can tell you from experience that giving oral sex to my male partners has generally been super fun, and I never expected that.

Before I ever had oral sex with a man, I viewed it as something women endure during heterosexual sex out of the kindness of their hearts — it’s what people and popular culture told me. In actuality, unless my sexual partner gets too aggressive during the act, giving head can be a very serious turn on. I love making my partners feel good, and the feeling of being in charge for a little bit.

Is He Only Interested in One Thing? Here is How to Tell.

Women, forgive us. When we men are horny, we have a tendency to behave like dogs— pawing, panting, and begging like you’re wagging a bone in front of our faces.

But we’re not always horny. So for the other 98 percent of the time, you have every right to expect us to act like adult humans. Unless you and your guy have decided to stay in the booty-call zone, if you’re sleeping with him, he should at some point show interest in something other than getting you naked. So, worried that you’re with a guy who’s only after a good hookup? Here’s what to look for:

He skimps on foreplay.

You’ve gone down on this guy how many times? And he never repays the favor? Well—it sounds like he’s getting screwed, and you’re getting screwed over.

He doesn’t introduce you to his friends.

If he really wanted to integrate you into his life, he’d start with the dudes he hangs with.

He never asks about your friends. Or your family. Or your job.

Same logic—if a guy’s just looking for a f— buddy, he’ll avoid all the messy stuff. But as soon as he’s ready for a relationship, your personal life won’t seem messy to him.

He’s a little too busy to make plans.

You: “We should do something this weekend.”
Him: “Yeah, we’ll see.”
You: “No seriously! We should go to a movie or something.”
Him: “Well, maybe. I get kind of restless in movies.”
You: “What about dinner? You have to eat, right?”
Him: “Of course, but I might have to do this other thing anyway.”
He’s blowing you off. And even if you haven’t tried to initiate a non-sexual hangout, he should. At some point, he should just sit across from you and talk. No lingerie, no groping, just conversation.

He texts you when he’s out, but he just wants you to meet him back at his place.

A booty call is fine if you’re comfortable with it. But a booty call is not a date. Don’t convince yourself otherwise.

How to Reenergize Foreplay

One of the secrets to a more satisfying sex life is by mastering more enjoyable foreplay.

And while we here at LELO treat foreplay as serious business (because it’s our business after all – and business is good), having even more fun before you get frisky is a great way to connect with your partner; so take it from us, and you’ll be a foreplay pro in no time!
But first…

Why is Foreplay Important?

Here’s the thing; while a guy can take just 3 minutes to orgasm during sex, we ladies need a little more time and TLC to get us to climax. The orgasmic plateau – where climax is imminent – takes most women more than double the time it takes for men, so the added intimacy of a little foreplay can go a long way to your complete intimate enjoyment.
With that in mind, we’ll begin by looking at how we can extend foreplay to where you’re ready to enjoy a satisfying climax, and making him absolutely ravenous to get to the main event.

Foreplay Tip #1: Start Early

Send him a sultry sext message to start off his day thinking about what you’ll be doing to him at the end of it. After he’s arrived at work – please don’t encourage texting and driving – receiving a message from you saying something along the lines of ‘I can’t wait for you to come back tonight so I can rock your world!’ will have his mind racing until it’s time to punch out.
Having trouble thinking of the right words to send to your partner in sexual crime? Check out our list of tried and tested Best Example Sexts to get your creative juices flowing.

Foreplay Tip #2: Positive Reinforcement

When you’re in the middle of foreplay, use the power of communication and tell him what it is you like and how you enjoy being touched. For example, whisper that you ‘love being touched here’ and then guide his hand to wherever that may be for you. Knowing that he’s doing something right will make him want to keep doing it for the sole reason that he knows you like it – simple, right?

Top Tips for the Best BJ

People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done.

Ever wonder what goes down behind closed doors at blow job workshops? Wonder no more!

Below, sex educators and other experts from around the country share their best advice from BJ classes. (NSFW material ahead!)

1. Start slow.

“It’s fun to start soft. Let your partner get hard in your mouth, without any motion. Just let them experience the warmth of your breath and wetness of your tongue then gently begin to suck. Anticipation will make your partner even hotter.” ― Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

2. Don’t shy away from lube.

“People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done. It’s actually best to add a bit of lube to get started: either water-based or silicone. After a few minutes, you may build up enough of your own juices to keep the action going. Sucking on a hard, sugar-free candy can also help you build up saliva.” ― Melissa Jones, a sexologist and executive director of the Sexology Institute and Boutique in San Antonio, Texas

3. Get handsy.

“Remember: A good blow job is 50 percent hands. Using your hands, with even pressure and friction in concert with your mouth, does more than what your mouth can do on its own. It can make or break a blow job experience.” ― Elle Chase, a sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life

4. Ask questions.

“Ask questions before you start and even during if you aren’t sure he’s having a good time. Every man is different. They don’t all like the same thing. Don’t ask broad questions like ‘Is this good?’ Instead, ask yes or no questions that give you concrete information, like, ‘Would you like it faster?’” ― Trevor Jones, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

Are You Being Denied Foreplay?

Sex is amazing, right? Well, yes. But sex isn’t one thing. Sex is lots of things.

Sex can mean a passionate kiss, with your bodies pressed up against each other in a hallway; it can me him in your mouth, or you in his; it can be hours of penetration or the lightest touch in the right place. Or any combination. And lots of others. But for this reader, sex is only one thing, and it’s getting a little tiring.

*I have been dating this guy for a few months now and it’s been wonderful…except for when it’s time to get intimate. He wants to go straight into sex and no foreplay whatsoever. Each time I’ve tried to initiate it, he would say “Babe, you are my girl, you don’t have to do that.” Overall that’s sweet I guess but than the problem is, I don’t get oral (he mentioned a time that he did it on a girl and the girls odor/taste that he could not handle). How or what can I do to make him feel comfortable with me to eventually perform oral sex before the actual sex? *—Foreplay Deprived

One reason sex can’t be one thing is because it’s not the same thing for everyone. That means we have to compromise. When we’re lucky enough to meet someone with the exact same sexual interests as ours, those compromises tend to be minimal: sometimes she gets to be on top when you want to be; sometimes he gets to come first; etc.

In this situation, BF isn’t really meeting anyone halfway, he’s just getting exactly what he wants. Not fair. Many of the women I know, most of them in fact, have difficulty coming without some form of clitoral stimulation, before or during. By your guy denying you foreplay, he’s basically saying “only I get to come,” which is obviously not ideal.

Sounds like he had a bad experience once with giving head and has decided it’s not for him. That’s like having a bad first day of school and deciding that education is for other people. I think you should ask him to consider trying again.

If he’s really dead-set against it, you can remind him that there are other ways to have fun before penetration: fingers, licking other parts of you, playing with toys, etc.

The most important thing is to let him know that what’s going on isn’t fair. He’ll probably change his tune. If he doesn’t, then you have an issue that actually has nothing to do with sex.

Curated by Erbe
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