Sex Archives - Page 13 of 29 - Love TV

Category: Sex

Do You Want This More Than Sex?

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

The majority of women have told me that they want more intimacy in their relationships. Women want to feel connected with their partner and genuinely loved.

When referring to the complex area of sex, making blanket statements such as men want………..and women want………… is difficult to do because it oversimplifies an extremely personal and individualistic issue.

Clearly there is a wide variety of kinds of sexual relationships and experiences that people can share and enjoy.

To be more precise, what men and women each want in the area of sex needs to be defined on an individual basis. Thus, whatever a person is missing or longs for with regards to the subject of sex is simply what that person needs at that time in their life. For example, some women enjoy having a lot of tenderness and affection but crave a little intensity in the bedroom. Other women may experience their share of intense, physical sex but desire more affection, consideration, and gentleness for balance.

Yet when looking at the population as a whole and talking with a great number of people, some conclusions can be drawn based upon the majority.

Over the years what women have told me they want spans quite a diverse range. Yet the majority of women have told me that they want more intimacy in their relationships. Women want to feel connected with their partner and genuinely loved. They usually want to be told why their man loves them, and what it is about her that he recognizes as special. Women have often said they want to be held more, kissed more, caressed more, touched more, and talked to more. If they were to have more sex, they want it to be more passionate love-making. They want more intimacy in and out of the bedroom.

Women also need to be acknowledged for what they contribute to the family and their man’s life. They need to be respected as intelligent and capable, and appreciated for all of their wonderful attributes and special features. The average woman wants more hugs, more affection, more intimacy regularly. They want to be told often that they are beautiful, that their partner enjoys them, and that their man wants to be with them.

Often men can get along without reinforcement and intimacy for long periods of time, and so they assume the same is true for women. Unfortunately quite a few men still think they can sustain a woman with occasional bursts of intimacy, such as a nice gift, or a rare verbal acknowledgment. But most women need and want more than just sporadic maintenance intimacy. They need daily attentionto keep them running smoothly and happily.

After couples marry, many men only put forth the effort to show what they think is the necessary amount of romance. They sometimes base their conclusions on how much they need, and then give just a little more.

It’s not the flowers, chocolates, poems or gifts that women really want. What they really want are the gestures that show that their partner loves them and cares enough to expend some energy showing it!

Women typically expect and appreciate much more involvement from their relationships. They usually want more consistant and enthusiastic expressions of love and affection. They want to know, regularly, that they aren’t being taken for granted.

Many marriages eventually end because men never really take their partner’s needs seriously.

Many of the married women that I’ve talked with who have had extramarital affairs said they fell for men who were interested in them, who talked with and listened to them. The men they were drawn to were enthused about them and showed it. The feelings of respect, appreciation, and passion were missing in their marriage. It is my belief that missing those feelings of intimacy has led more women to have affairs than a mere sexual attraction.

Women who have high self-esteem and believe in equality aren’t satisfied with just being a sexual object. They want to be seen as much more than that, and rightfully resent some men’s attempts to have them be just a sex toy. Many women resent a man’s ability to, or interest in having uninvolved sex. Many expect more from their partner than just sex.

Most women aren’t satisfied if the physical sex is all they have. Even if they regularly experience orgasms, most women will get bored if that’s all their sex life consists of. They must feel love and connection with their partner as well. While this may not be news to women, quite a few men either don’t know this or don’t really take it seriously.

For many women, even though they may enjoy orgasms and the physical sensations, sex is more of a vehicle for making love and sharing affection and intimacy with their partner. The more a man understands and respects this the better off he’ll be in the long run. Since women often say they need to feel more loved, if they did, they may feel more inclined to have more sex, which is what many men say they would like.

Thankfully, for both genders, an increasing number of women today feel free to take more initiative and allow themselves to experience sex for pleasure and intimacy. Today more women are able to ask for more of what they want and need from their partner. Successful relationships usually include a man who respects this quality in his female counterpart.

Curated Article
Original Article

Why There’s No Such Thing as Casual Sex

by Gina Cloudin Sex

There’s no such thing as casual sex.

I was reflecting on this idea of what people commonly call casual sex, which is pretty much most sex these days it seems,  and it occurred to me when someone sticks their most intimate part of their body into my most intimate part of my body, that’s not casual on any level. Not for either person. Just because so many times people hardly know each other before they decide to get naked and explore each other’s genitals in one form or another, doesn’t mean that it isn’t something that  affects us profoundly, and on layers and levels of our psyches and souls that we can’t fathom consciously.

I recently wrote a blog post about the wisdom and vulnerability of the vagina that has been making the rounds and many of you may have read it. If you haven’t, when you finish this one you should check it out in the archives here.   It speaks in great detail to this idea for women in particular, so go check it out after you read this post.

So let’s explore how it is even conceivably possible that genital contact is casual. We can extend it to oral sex but the place where I find it most compelling to examine is of course in intercourse.

How could the merging of these two anatomical components of human existence that create new human existence be called casual in any sense? Seriously, stop and think about this. Ladies, any time you sleep with a man, any time you allow him to enter you, you have just had an intimate experience. If this man is a stranger, you basically have just participated in your own home invasion, LOL.

Guys, when you don’t know this woman, you really are using her as a receptacle, as a vehicle for your own pleasure, not saying that a woman may not be doing the exact same thing because that, after all, is the general intention in casual sex but, guys, come on, you protect your precious family jewels and then you just willy-nilly, (I really didn’t intend that pun, but let’s go with it), you find yourself inside  a stranger with your most vulnerable asset aside from your heart. You’re literally inside a woman’s body, one with her for all intents and purposes, and you’re going to tell me that’s casual? And why don’t you have enough self-respect to think with the head on your shoulders instead of the one in your pants?

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Hands on Sexual Healing from a Man

by zfortadminin Sex

When you get paid to perform sexual healing on women with intimacy issues, you need patience, sensitivity, and a willingness to put her pleasure before yours. And also condoms. Lots of them.

If surrogate partner therapy (SPT) sounds like something straight out of Masters of Sex, it is: In 1970, William Masters and Virginia Johnson published their findings on an innovative treatment in which a surrogate partner makes clinical appearances in the office—and the bedroom. Working as a member of a three-part therapeutic team, the surrogate partner helps construct a series of experiences to introduce the client to healthy forms emotional and physical intimacy. Yes, that can mean sex.

SPT rode a wave of popularity through the seventies that came to an abrupt end with the AIDS epidemic. Maybe it’s because of shifting attitudes toward sex, maybe it’s because sexually transmitted infections don’t carry the same fatal stamp they used to, but SPT is starting to make a comeback. In particular, therapists are finding more and more women are seeking the services of male surrogates.

Enter Shai Rotem, a forty-something Israeli who has lived and worked in Los Angeles for the past decade. He is one of a small (but growing) handful of male surrogates left to satisfy this rising demand. Here, Rotem shares the naked truth about his unusual job.

“I knew early on I wanted to work with people. Starting at the age of 20, I realized that nearly all the girls I had dated had some issues around sexuality, intimacy, and relationships. They either never had a boyfriend, were virgins, or had some history of sexual trauma. I got used to it. One of my best friends said, ‘Hey, Shai, what’s going on with your dating life? It’s not normal.’ He was referring to the fact that I had had six relationships, and five out of the six women had a history of sexual abuse, sexual trauma, had been raped, or molested by a family member. I just saw it as ‘This is life. I’m honored to help these women.’ That’s the day I called a center in Tel Aviv that offers surrogate partner therapy. I was accepted for the training, graduated, and I’ve been doing this ever since.

“Many clients are very, very shy, embarrassed or closed-off. If it’s a woman who’s a virgin or who has had sexual trauma or sexual problems, she doesn’t feel safe with guys. And I’m a man, so on one hand, she wants to contact me; on the other, the emotional feelings and fears are starting to surface. Many times it will start with an e-mail. I’ll respond, and then we’ll start writing back and forth to each other. Clients need to gain trust. Each client goes at her own pace. Eventually, I’ll refer them to a therapist and we’ll move to a three-way meeting. That’s when the process really starts. The client sees the therapist once a week, she sees me once a week, and the therapist and I as a team will talk in between sessions.

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When You Haven’t Had Sex with Your Partner in a Long Time

by zfortadminin Sex

I’m attracted to him, but I haven’t been able to get closer.

My husband and I have not had sex in a year and a half. We’ve had sex maybe 10 times in the last five years. I am a sexual trauma survivor. These two things are directly related, but it’s taken me years to make the connection.

Our sex life wasn’t always like this. For the first six months of our relationship, we had sex all the time. Passionate, mind-blowing sex, in fact. Knock-your-socks off sex. So you can imagine my husband’s confusion when I suddenly seemed to lose interest.

It was around the time we moved in together, and I didn’t know what was wrong. We thought it was hormonal, and I switched birth control. We thought it was related to some major life changes, so we waited it out. We thought it was a difference in libido, so we tried things like taking sex off the table for a month. We tried hooking up but not having intercourse. I started going to therapy. The problem only got worse.

My husband began to feel like I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. He stopped trying to initiate things. He grew resentful. We talked about options like opening our marriage. We had a lot of conversations about the fact that this wasn’t fair or what he wanted in a relationship. Since I have also been interested in women, he questioned whether I was attracted to men at all.

Meanwhile, I felt despondent. I felt detached and numb. I knew I was attracted to my husband, because I felt it. But I didn’t want to have sex. I wanted to kiss and cuddle without it leading to anything else. Sometimes I’d give into some form of sexual activity, but I always felt empty and used afterwards. There was always an elephant in the room. It felt like it was between us when we got into bed at night.

What’s funny is that I’m a certified rape crisis counselor. I can talk about the effects of sexual trauma on sex until I’m blue in the face. But I couldn’t internalize it and apply it to my own life. I was sure that there was a different problem. I swore that my trauma hadn’t affected me to that level. And for years, I used sex as a coping mechanism.

In the years leading up to meeting my husband, I found myself joining the “sex positive” movement. I wore it like a badge of liberation. I was determined to take back my body. I found BDSM and kink, and I jumped in with abandon. I thought I was free. It’s only now, with clear vision, that I can look back and see that I was not in an emotionally healthy place to be making these kinds of decisions. At the time, I viewed a lot of these activities as consensual but I recognize now that I was not emotionally healthy enough to be consenting. It is absolutely possible to participate in fully consensual BDSM. But for me, at that time, I wasn’t capable of it and I didn’t realize it. And the result of this is that it traumatized me more.

That all came to a head for me when my husband and I moved in. What I know now, that I didn’t know then, is that all of this is normal. What I know now, that I couldn’t internalize then, is that I was coping in the best way I knew how. And it’s because of the safety that I finally felt with my husband and in our relationship that the symptoms of my trauma finally shone through. And now I’m left undoing not only the harm that other people have done to me, but the harm I caused myself under the guise of sexual liberation.

Today, my husband and I are seeing a wonderful counselor. What we’ve learned, together, is that it’s normal for sex to be great at the beginning and to taper off when the survivor begins to feel “safe.” My dissociation and numbness around sex are also normal. It was hard for him to understand at first, because dissociation doesn’t look traumatic to someone witnessing it; it just looks like lack of enthusiasm. Which is why, for so long, my husband thought I just wasn’t into sex with him. As we, and I, start to work through this stuff, I get triggered. It gets hard. It gets uncomfortable. But I choose to think of it as progress, as a sign that I’m beginning to move through the numbing phase and onto the healing phase.

We both know that we have a long road ahead of us. We know that we won’t go back to having wonderful, consistent sex tomorrow, or even next week. But now that we’re both on the same page and the problem is clear, we feel a freedom and a closeness that we haven’t felt in a long time. The fact that we’re tackling this together brings us an intimacy that we lost when we stopped having sex. And while having regular date nights and finding activities to do together doesn’t bring quite the same intimacy that sex does, we’re taking steps in the direction of healing and we both finally feel hopeful that one day, we’ll have sex again.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

A Foot Turn On

by zfortadminin Sex

“If we go out to dinner with friends, he’ll put his feet in between my legs and start massaging me.”

After breasts and booties, feet are the body part that turns us on most. But what is it about feet that does it for so many people? In this week’s Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com speaks with one woman and two men about having a foot fetish.

How old are you?

Woman A: Twenty-eight.
Man A: Twenty-three.
Man B: Thirty-three.

And do you date men, women, or both?

Woman A: Men.
Man A: Women.
Man B: Women. (I’m married.)

When (and how) did you first realize you had a thing for feet?

Woman A: I was 20 years old when I went from being a tomboy who didn’t really pay attention to my feet to a girly girl who went to the nail salon to get her first pedicure. I loved seeing guys go to the salon to get their feet massaged and their toenails cut. I loved how clean and soft-looking their feet were. I watched the women in the salon massage and caress the guys’ feet, and liked seeing how nice they looked after they put on their sandals. That’s when I started liking feet and I became curious to try something new with my boyfriend.
Man A: I think I was 17. Since I was young, I considered legs to be sexy, but I didn’t care much about feet — as long as they weren’t terrible-looking, I was fine. Around that age, a classmate mentioned he liked to watch videos on YouTube where women showed their feet on purpose. I knew about the fetish but still thought it was a little weird, then one day I became curious and saw some of those videos only to realize I also thought some of them were sexy. That’s when I started to notice feet.
Man B: Probably 15 or 16. I just realized that instead of the standard boobs and bums, I was obsessed with staring at women’s feet and toes, imagining them in my mouth or rubbing them on my face.

What do you like about feet?

Woman A: Men’s feet can be very soft and smooth-looking; they’re big and the shape is nice. I love the arch of a man’s foot, how it is masculine with the toes and ankles that are strong with muscle.
Man A: They’re usually soft, the shape is cute, but my favorite thing about them is that they are very curvy. There are curves everywhere, the toes, ankles, heels, insteps, and the best one, the arches.
Man B: Everything. I’m a feet man through and through.

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The Hottest New Sex Tape

by zfortadminin Sex

Here’s the psychology behind why people love making and watching sex tapes, and how it can revive or deaden a relationship.

Lights, camera, action!

In a relationship, we’ve all once thought about closing the curtains, getting undressed, and hitting “record” on the camcorder. Videotaping ourselves having sex with our partner sounds naughty, especially for the modern couple looking to do more than the conservative. But while standing in front of the camera, possibly stricken with performance anxiety, have we ever wondered why we’re so desperate to film our carnal acts? Even more so, why do we enjoy watching them later?

1. The Birth Of The Sex Tape: Celebrity Overnight

We have actor Rob Lowe to thank for bringing one of the first sex tapes into mainstream media in 1988, possibly giving way for a new American sex norm. A video leaked of the actor with two women, one underage, in an Atlanta hotel room. Fast forward to nine years later, Pam Anderson and then-husband Tommy Lee’s raunchy vacation movie became one of the first viral sex videos.

These “leaked” celebrity sex tapes subsequently became an object of fascination, and even inspired some of us to record our bedroom encounters with the risk of the uninvited world tuning into our private time.

“I think that celebrity itself has a powerful influence in the general public,” Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills psychotherapist, author of The Self-Aware Parent, and expert panelist on WE TV’s Sex Box told Medical Daily.

Kelly Chisholm, a certified sex therapist and intimacy coach, says aside from celebrity sex tapes, porn usage has also influenced couples to film sex tapes.

“[W]ith the increase of porn usage, many couples are intrigued by being a porn star in their own home,” she said.

Who suggests the dirty flick, however, may often be the male. But why?

2. Visual Sexual Stimulation: Men Vs. Women

It is known sexual stimuli differ for men and women, because they respond more strongly to it than women do. This is why pornographic magazines and videos are more directed at men, since they consume it on a greater scale. Out of approximately 40 million adults who visit porn websites annually, 72 percent are male, while only 28 percent are female.

So, does this make men inclined to pitch the idea of a sex tape?

“Men are visual. All you have to do is take a quick glance at the profits for the porn industry to know I’m right. And if they have a partner who’s ready and willing to make a sex tape, which is porn, it doesn’t get much better for them. They get to have sex and watch the sex, while possibly having more sex, creating levels of pleasure.” April Masini, relationship expert and author, told Medical Daily.

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11 Sex Tips for the Newlyweds

by zfortadminin Sex

Finally, alone at last! Top experts offer their best tips for keeping your relationship hot and exciting long after the honeymoon.

One of the fabulous things about marrying your soul mate is experiencing a unique connection and level of familiarity. But when things are too comfortable in the bedroom, it can cause problems. “Before you’re married, your sex life has little competition in your relationship,” explains Debra Macleod, coauthor of Lube Jobs: A Woman’s Guide to Great Maintenance Sex. “But after you’re married, sex has to compete with conflicting schedules, money concerns, in-laws and eventually children. It takes a toll on your sex life, especially when compounded by the increase in sexual familiarity and the decrease in honeymoon hormones flowing through your veins!”

Though it’s important to recognize that your love life will change over time, there’s a lot you can do to maintain that spark. Here, tips for keeping things hot long past the honeymoon.

1. Reach Out & Touch Someone

Several studies show that the simple act of hugging for between 30 and 60 seconds increases levels of oxytocin, a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain and contributes to a sense of attachment, notes Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man. Kissing and holding hands reap those same unique benefits.

2. Let’s Talk About Sex

Though you’d think a sex expert as famous as Dr. Ruth would give advice that was, well, sexier, she says communication is the key to bedroom bliss throughout your marriage. “If you keep your needs and desires inside your heads, then the likelihood is that your sex life will slowly diminish in strength and intensity,” says Dr. Ruth. “But if you explain your likes and dislikes, then together you can create a very good, long-lasting sex life.” No one’s saying this is a topic that’s easy to discuss– even with someone as close to you as your mate—but doing so today is like an insurance policy for the future. “With a solid foundation, even if there are valleys in your sex life, such as during the years when small babies are around, you can climb back toward those peaks,” says Dr. Ruth.

3. Hold on Tight

Sex therapist Ian Kerner emphasizes the importance of having as much physical contact as possible on a daily basis.“It may sound obvious, but once you’re married you tend to become less lovey-dovey and more complacent as you sit side by side, tapping away on your laptops, rather than holding hands or hugging.”

4. Prioritize It

After that walk down the aisle, life gets busy with daily routines and your To Do list gets more crowded, sending sex tumbling to the bottom. Worse, once you’re living together it’s easy to assume that you can have sex whenever you want, and thus you don’t make time for it. But if you don’t prioritize your love life at the beginning of your marriage, it’ll be harder to do so in the future. Kerner advises consciously making sex part of your daily schedule. For example, take a shower together each morning or go to bed half an hour earlier. If the thought of scheduling sex makes you cringe, you still should leave enough room for sparks to fly. “After all, sex can’t happen if you’re on Facebook for hours and finally collapse into bed at midnight,” says Kerner.

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Keep Your Vagina Healthy and Happy

by zfortadminin Sex

Keep your vagina healthy and happy with these tips.

After all, she IS your pride and joy!
When was the last time you thought about … how your vagina is feeling?

Does that seem like a crazy question? It’s not! And here’s why …

With your never ending daily to-do list, you don’t give your vagina the attention she needs.

Discomfort, pain, itching and burning are your vagina’s way of communicating that she needs some tender loving care. But numbness is another way she lets you know she’s feeling neglected.

And this matters because — when your vagina isn’t happy, neither are you.

Long before menopause you can experience changes in your vaginal health because of stress, side effects of medication, as well as hormonal changes. These changes occur in your early 20s and 30s, as well as into your 40s and beyond.

They also affect the vitality of the tissue, lining and walls of your vagina. The lining, which once protected your vaginal walls and tissue, thins as you lose estrogen, which causes discomfort in the forms of pain, tissue tearing, and dryness (which in addition to affecting general comfort, obviously impairs sexual pleasure, as well).

The good news is, there are simple things you can start doing now to keep your vagina healthy and happy. No matter what your age, it’s never too early (or too late) to start taking care of your vagina — here are six simple ways to do so:

1. Work Out!

Kegels are exercises you can do anytime/anywhere that strengthen your vagina muscles; keeping them strong supports you in enjoying sex more, having more intense orgasms and hopefully not developing incontinence later in life.

You can do Kegels while you’re watching television, driving (a great way to kill time at red lights), and even working on your computer — so there’s NO EXCUSE.

2. Go Commando Or Au Cotton — Your Choice!

Wear cotton paneled underwear or pop Go Commandos cotton patches into your pants. If you don’t like underwear or want to let your vagina breathe while feeling cleanly, the Go Commandos patch is the next best thing to wearing nothing at all. Your vagina will love the freedom!

Why does breathability matter? Synthetic fabrics that don’t allow your vagina to breathe lead to trapped moisture and irritation which leads to infection. It’s no surprise that yeast infections are so common today.

3. Self-Pleasure is Self Care.

If you don’t know how to please yourself, how do you expect someone else to succeed at it? If you don’t experience sexual pleasure regularly, you are depriving yourself of a basic human need.

Self-pleasuring is a way to get to know your body so that you can experience pleasure, release and be able to communicate those turn-ons to your partner.

A survey conducted by Cosmopolitan found that women are severely orgasm deficient. So ladies, make sure you know how to please yourself so you’re always taken care of — whether you’re in a relationship or not.

Either way, knowing your body and what makes you feel good is a win-win!

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Female Orgasm Myths, Debunked

by zfortadminin Sex

Jenny Block just busted a few myths about female orgasms.

Block, sex expert and author of the new book O Wow, sat down with HuffPost Live’s Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani on Oct. 28 to discuss how women can achieve more orgasms and to debunk a few age-old myths about climaxing.

“For a [straight] woman needing clitoral stimulation, preferably external clitoral stimulation, if you’re just doing a little bit of the old in and out you’re probably no where near the clit,” Block said.

Sex that is designed to put sperm inside of the woman’s body is not necessarily designed for a woman to have an orgasm, and yet we keep having that sex.”

The number one myth Block said she’d like to dispel about the female orgasm is that most women climax without clitoral stimulation. “If you really want a full on hard-core orgasm there needs to be external clitoral stimulation,” she said. “That’s all there is to it.”

Block later added that, contrary to popular opinion, safe sex doesn’t ruin sex: “Enthusiastically-consented safe sex is the most fun because you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Sounds good to us.

Curated by Timothy
Original Article

When Did Sexy Become Being Naked?

by MONROKin Sex

I have lived in Los Angeles for 10 years. Each year, I see more and more clothes come off. This year, the latest look is walking around in shorts with both bottom cheeks hanging out and a crop top or bra. I have seen women of all shapes and sizes in this ensemble in Whole Foods, at the dentist, and out to dinner.

Now I am by no means a conservative. I’m a registered Democrat and I’m voting for Bernie Sanders. I am a girl who had fun in college. I passed out from being drunk, hooked up with guys so they would assemble furniture for me the next day, I have had a one night stand, ONE. I am by no means a prude.

What happened to just BEING sexy? Sexy used to be a thing you WERE. It used to be the way you fluttered your eyes, or the way you walked, or the energy you had. When did being sexy become being naked? There are other ways to lead with your sexuality besides baring your goods, and benefits.

Let me describe to you what I consider the best feeling in the world. The best feeling in the world is when a man, who really has no idea what your body looks like, sees it for the first time. Now, this only happens when there has been a build up. You meet, you go on a few dates, or maybe he’s a friend that you have decided to be intimate with. That moment, when he takes off your (chemise or fitted sweater, :P) and sees you in the nude for the first time is one hell of a confidence boost. Trust me, it is SO MUCH BETTER than him finding out as you walk down the street.

We say we should be able to walk around however we choose and feel safe, sure every woman is entitled to safety, but respect is EARNED. We, as women, are the gatekeepers of sexuality. The right to our bodies should be earned and not put out on display as if for sale. Dressing a little more modestly shows that you have respect for yourself, and your body.

If you are feeling sick reading this and NO ONE IS TELLING YOU HOW TO BE SEXY, just hear me out. These looks have worked for me and make me feel both confident and desirable.

Skinny leggings/jeans and a loose top.

In this look we are featuring our legs, so if you have long, sexy legs, work them. This look is great with ballet flats or even a mid level heel if you want to dress it up a bit.

The shape of your bosom should just be slightly discernable.

A tube style dress that is longer in length.

This look is great for showcasing your upper body, neck, and collarbone (which can be very sexy) The dress falling at or just above the knees is a really flattering length.

A fitted, long sleeved dress.

I adore this look. Your entire upper body is covered but your silhouette is perfectly framed. The length can vary, go ahead and show off those legs again if you like.

The key is to leave at least one body part to the imagination. And when that moment comes, when you are unveiled for the first time, you won’t regret it. BEST. FEELING. EVER.

How do you dress SEXY?

8 Lovemaking Techniques to Create a Deeper Connection With Your Partner

by zfortadminin Sex

Here’s how to improve your connection with your partner.

Mindfulness is being in the present moment with total awareness. But the one area where we can be the least present is in our relationships, and that includes our most intimate ones.

Mindful love-making is a whole new approach to being intimate with awareness, which means having sex not only for the sheer pleasure of it, but with our mind, body, and spirit combined, and as thoughtfully engaged as possible. Loving your partner mindfully will enhance the quality of your sex, and increase the closeness you experience together significantly. Not only will it become the type of love-making you crave, but it will be the only type of love-making you desire to give your partner.

Here are several ways to connect with your partner mindfully, and be as fully present as you can in the bedroom:

The best lovemaking is when two people are 100 percent present with each other, which means they are completely aware and sensitive of one another’s needs.

A good way to make that happen is to set aside a special time for you and your partner to have sex. That way, you know that you’re bringing your complete attention to them, and that they are getting all of you in the experience, which is a turn-on.

Mindful lovemaking can happen when both people are fully present without distraction.

Put your gadgets away. That means no phones nearby, or anything electronic that could go off and distract you. Being fully present with your partner means that you need nothing other than them to satisfy you.

Making love mindfully means being fully attuned to someone else’s body and needs.

Communicate to your partner either verbally or through touch how much you want to satisfy them. Giving them all of your attention increases stimulation and satisfaction.

Think of what would make your partner happy or satisfy them.

Showing your partner that you’ve taken the time to figure out what would excite them sexually lets them know that you care about them, and that they are very important to you.

Try surprising your partner by doing something you know they would love.

Have a bath ready with candles around it, or cover the bed with rose petals.  Have their favorite music playing, or aromatherapy oil wafting from a diffuser. Think of creative ways to set the mood for optimum lovemaking.

Ask your partner if they would like to be massaged before you hurry into lovemaking.

Make sure not to rush, and to take it slow. By being fully in the present, your senses are much more alive, which makes everything you’re touching and everything you’re feeling much more enhanced.

Make sure to put your partner’s pleasure before your own.

Show them how much you want to please them, and let them know how much you love being with them intimately. Make them feel that they are the most desirable person in the world to you. Your passion for them ignites their own even more.

After lovemaking, hold your partner.

Allow yourself to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Shocking Facts: What Women Really Desire From Their Lover

by zfortadminin Sex

WOMEN have opened up about the strange traits they actually look for in men.

Man-measuring-penis-472968

SIZE MATTERS: Women actually want men with smaller penises

Put down the dumbbells and grab yourself another biscuit, because women don’t want tall, handsome, ripped guys (apparently).

From men with beer bellies to guy’s that are lacking in the height department, what women really look for in prospective lovers will shock you.

The Thought Catalogue spoke to several ladies about the things they find attractive in the opposite sex and here are some of their stranger preferences…..

FAT MAN WITH HAIRY CHEST

 

SEXY: Ladies also revealed that they like unfit and hairy men

“Out of shape – I don’t like when a guy is too fit,” admitted 30-year-old Mel.While Tierra, 28, says she

doesn’t like tall men. In fact, she wants someone smaller than her.

“I don’t like when a guy is too fit”

Mel

“I actually like guys my height or shorter. So many people are shocked by that, but for some reason I really like the way it feels,” she said.

“Guys who feel ‘compact’ if that makes any sense. I’ve always liked the slightly muscular, shorter guy look. For the record I’m 5ft 7.”

Hanna admitted a rather weird and specific preference in a future lover.

“It’ll probably never happen, but I have a SERIOUS fetish for guys with snakebite piercings,” she said.

COUPLE HAVING SEX

 

INTIMATE: Another woman says she only likes sharing a bed for sex

While 23-year-old Bella likes to cuddle-up with skinny guys.”I love really f****** bony guys. Collarbones, ribs, hipbones, all of it. I want to feel like I’m cuddling with a skeleton. Lol… seriously,” said Nicole, 28.”I love guys with lots and lots of chest hair. If I can seriously braid that s***, sign me up,”

Other positive traits included NOT being creative or romantic and having a small penis – really.”I like guys who are not creative at all. Like, they can be creative thinkers, but I don’t like when they are ‘creatives’ who practice art/writing/music/etc,” said Jamie.”I generally don’t like creative male personalities, and since I’m a creative professional, I don’t want to feel any competition.”Lindsay added “It’s always weird to me when women talk about wanting a guy who plans things/surprises/etc.”For me, I love having control over the social element of my relationship and I don’t like surprises. If I can plan every dinner and holiday, that’s awesome. I don’t like guys who get slick with celebrations. Also, I want to pick the restaurant.”

And one woman even said she’s not into sharing a bed with her spouse “except for sex”.”I don’t like the feeling of someone next to me all the time, and I also need my personal space,” said Alice. “So far, I’ve only had one serious relationship where the guy was okay with that, and we dated for three years.”When we broke up, I was like ‘oh s***, now I have to find another guy who’s happy with paying for a second bedroom’,” she said.A recent study also revealed that women are less likely to cheat on men with small penises.Yes, that’s right – the LARGER your schlong, the more likely your partner will be dissatisfied in the bedroom.

Who knew being fatter, shorter and lacking in the trouser department was a good thing!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Giving Hugs Can Lower Blood Pressure

by zfortadminin Sex

A mere hug from a friend or a loved one has the power to uplift your mood, when feeling down.

Additionally, hugging your loved ones on happy occasions doubles the joy and instils a feeling of confidence to conquer the world. It is a sign of showcasing love and affection that not only provides emotional support but also renders numerous health benefits. Here are top 7 reasons why you need to hug your loved ones more often.

Combats common cold and flu

According to a study conducted by Carnegie Mellon University, hugging (especially when you are stressed out) aids in relieving common cold and flu. It showed that hugging was effective in protecting people from stress-induced susceptibility to infection such as viral infection. This is why, a hug a day to your loved ones is recommended to keep stress-related infections and common cold at bay.

Strengthens the immune system

When you hug someone, you exert pressure on the sternum (breastbone) and an emotional charge is created. This activated the solar plexus chakras which in turn stimulates the thymus gland. This gland regulates the production of WBCs (white blood cells) in the body, thereby, keeping you healthy.

Acts as a natural stress reliever

A research published in the journal Psychological Science claims that being hugged by a trusted person may act as an effective means of conveying support. Apart from this, increasing the frequency of hugs might be an effective means of reducing the deleterious effects of stress. So the next time you see your loved ones stressed out, hug them!

Lowers blood pressure levels

When you hug or kiss anyone close to you, the levels of oxytocin, a hormone, goes up. This hormone plays a key role in the reduction of cortisol in the body, thereby, lowering blood pressure levels. In addition to this, when someone hugs, Pacinian corpuscles, a type of pressure receptor present on the skin, are activated. It sends signals to the brain nerve that lowers blood pressure.

Burns calories

You may not believe that hugging your loved ones burns around 12 calories. This means that every time you hug someone, you burn calories, thereby maintaining your weight.

Relaxes muscle tension

A hug can release tension in the body by combating pain and improving your blood circulation. It also aids promotes blood flow in the soft tissues, thereby aiding in relaxing tensed muscles. So, apart from relieving mental stress, a hug can work wonders on your physical health and muscle activity.

Promotes brain health and memory

A hormone named oxytocin is released into the blood stream when you hug a close friend or loved ones.  This improves memory power along with reducing tension. Apart from this, it also stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system thereby helping you to strike a balance between activeness and calmness.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Are You Dissatisfied With Sex? That’s Good!

by Gina Cloudin Sex

When they come to me, often they feel there is something wrong WITH THEM… what I am seeing over and over is fear and disconnection, brought about by a woman’s own body wisdom.

Whenever I sit down to write these posts, I truly never have any idea how long they will be.  A title comes to me and, like a midwife, I sit down and allow myself to be used as a channel.  So before you read this, scroll down and see how long it is and if you have the 5-10 minutes to read it.  This one feels important, even before I begin to write the meat of it.

Lately I’ve had quite a few women come to me and express dissatisfaction with their sexuality/sex life.  When they come to me, often they feel there is something wrong WITH THEM because they aren’t feeling sexual, and as I begin to work with them to help them unfurl the petals of this vital part of their feminine nature, what I am seeing over and over is fear and disconnection, brought about by a woman’s own body wisdom.

Throughout my life I have always said that the most important things I’ve ever learned I have learned through my body.  Living in a world that from a very early age teaches women and girls NOT to listen to their innate body wisdom has caused a massive shut down in our ability to discern what is healthy from what may be dysfunction. We trust more what we hear outside of us, instead of what we hear from within.  So many women who feel disconnected sexually are actually in a place of awakening, as their body wisdom has taken over where the mind has failed them.  In their deepest heart, they KNOW that this version of sex they are being sold is all wrong for them, but because there is no body trust for most women, it becomes depression and a subscription to the mainstream mindset that there must be something wrong with you.

Sexuality in our culture has become a lot like fast food, and just as devoid of nutrition and satisfaction.  We are hungry for something that we know we are supposed to get via sex, both women and men, yet after living on junk food, we are physically sick and more in need of nutrition than ever.  That nutrition is the energetic component of sex that is all but lost in the way we do sex now, and yet women’s bodies are rebelling against this, even as women’s minds subscribe to the BS that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want sex or aren’t having it.

You see the words “women’s sexual dysfunction” all over the place these days.  Women are being led to believe we are broken in our sexuality as we have been led to believe we are broken in our bodies because we get periods, have babies and go through menopause.  The more we are bombarded with these negative concepts via media messages, personal exchanges, and personal beliefs, the more “depressed” we become.  But that depression is your soul calling you to awaken and take ownership of your powerful sexuality as you reject the mainstream models.  We are in a hook up/porn culture, where sex is just something you do, for stress relief, recreation, or procreation, but there’s a whole other universe, literally, when two people who are REALLY connected merge their flesh.  Like all of what I share/teach/speak and write about, I live these truths, and my sexuality has been a FORCE in my life that has taught me so much, and I know that if I had been listening to the mainstream spewing of crap, I wouldn’t have had the powerful experiences I’ve always had.

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Top 10 Reasons to Kiss

by zfortadminin Sex

…there are actual Kiss Scientists who study kissing.

I’ll admit it, I have a beautiful professionally framed copy of “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt hanging in my home. I was fortunate to travel a lot while growing up, and I spent a lot of time in museums. For some reason, I became fascinated with seeing paintings of people kissing.

Was it something that people did everywhere?

I began to notice how open to PDA people were country to country in their kissing. I couldn’t stop watching.

By junior high, I remember asking my friends how often they saw their parents kissing and was surprised many said never. See, I loved seeing my parents kiss each other: It made them seem more real to me. I didn’t realize at the time, but there are actual Kiss Scientists who study kissing. They are called Philematologists and they have discovered a wide range of benefits of kissing such as:

1. Kissing lowers stress.

It decreases the stress hormone cortisol and increases serotonin levels in the brain. Kissing has also been measured to lower anxiety and has similar benefits to meditation.

2. Kissing makes us happier.

It improves our mood by increasing endorphins, which are our feel-good hormones.

“Happiness is like a kiss – it feels best when you give it to someone else.” ~ Author Unknown

3. Kissing keeps us healthy.

It improves our immunity by releasing antibodies that kill bacteria. And kissing helps us prevent cavities by increasing saliva that washes our teeth. It has also been shown that our saliva secretes natural antibiotics when we kiss.

“Never a lip is curved with pain?That can’t be kissed into smile again.”? ~ Brete Harte

4. Kissing calms us down and promotes pleasure.

It increases levels of oxytocin otherwise known as the “love hormone” which calms us. Kissing also reduces pain through our saliva which contains a kind of anesthetic and increases pleasure by releasing dopamine.

“Your hugs and kisses are like the stars that light up my life when things get dark.” – Author Unknown

5. Kissing strengthens our relationships.

It promotes togetherness and couples who kiss regularly live five years longer than those who don’t.

“A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time.” ~ Levende Waters

Top 10 Reasons To Kiss List:

  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Decreases cortisol stress hormone
  • Increases serotonin
  • Reduces pain
  • Increases oxytocin
  • Improves immunity
  • Fights off cavities
  • Increases dopamine
  • Improves mood
  • Lowers anxiety

There are plenty more benefits to kissing…but I am guessing that you already have your favorite reasons.  What’s my favorite kissing moment, you ask? When you can feel your partner smiling as you kiss each other. Kissing makes us smile more!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article