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Category: Sex

Why You Should Sleep Naked

by zfortadminin Sex

Skin-to-skin contact can lower your blood pressure, decrease stress levels and really just make you happier. 

Only about 8 percent of Americans doze off in their birthday suits, but many more should consider going to bed in the buff. In addition to not having to launder any jammies or crank up the A/C, there are some major, healthy benefits to snoozing au naturel:

You’ll sleep better.

The body is wired to drop its temperature during shut-eye, and the process is necessary for quality sleep. Fuzzy pajamas can keep the body too warm, preventing you from achieving an optimal temperature. This can lead to tossing, turning and restlessness. Your skin works naturally with the rest of the body to cool down so you can drift off, and cozy clothes just make it harder for the body to do its job.

The skin-to-skin contact will relax you.

If you share a bed with your partner, the two of you can benefit from resting unrobed. Skin-to-skin contact can lower your blood pressure, decrease stress levels and really just make you happier.

You might even fall harder for your partner.

A 2014 poll that surveyed about 1,000 married British people found that naked sleepers were most content in their relationships. Fifty-seven percent of people who sleep naked reported feeling happy in their relationships, while only 48 percent who sleep in standard PJs reported the same. Just 15 percent of those who sleep in onesies said they were satisfied with their partner. Moral of this story? Burn your onesies.

Naked sleeping might also lead to having sex more often, which is great for your relationship, your immune system and your sleep quality. Bow chika wow wow.

You’ll get the chance to air out.

Sleeping in underpants creates a warm, moist environment for bacteria and yeast to thrive. Snoozing in your birthday suit reduces the risk for yeast infections, among other ailments.

Yes, sleeping naked is the new black. Just make sure to keep a robe nearby, because being caught naked on the street in the case of a late-night fire alarm isn’t totally en vogue.

Curated by Timothy
Original Article

Intimate Cuddling Positions For Bonding With Your Man

by zfortadminin Sex

One of the best ways to bond with your man is snuggling. It releases the hormone oxytocin, your body’s love signal.

Physical contact is also a fun way to spend time together, and gives you lots of opportunity for pillow talk. The best cuddling positions are dependent on your mood and situation, but here are ten great options for day or night.

1. GETTING SPOONED

This cuddling position is one of the absolute best ways to spend super-close, super-snuggly time together. Spooning involves lying on your side in the same direction as your guy, and cuddling up with your rear up against his front just like in the picture above. Plus, most women are smaller than men, which means they fit perfectly into the contours of their favorite guy’s body.

This is an all-purpose position that doesn’t require a soft bed or couch, since you’re lying on your side, so it works well for picnics in the park, camping, and other outdoorsy moments.

2. SPOONING YOUR MAN

Of course, you can also reverse this cuddling position. Men like to feel cared for and protected too, so give your guy those feelings he craves by wrapping your arms around him and cuddling up to his back. This is a perfect way to incorporate a backrub too, which is sure to up your guy’s love for you. Or reach around and grab his hands for total entwinement.

3. LYING ON HIS STOMACH

We tend to think of cuddling as an after-sex activity, but some cozy snuggles can also get things going, and lying on your guy’s stomach is one of the best cuddling positions for this. When he’s on his back, turn over and lay partially on him, with your head on his chest and your torso on his torso.

This is a perfect arrangement for lying and talking for hours or slowly moving toward something sexier. For extra steaminess, start in this cuddling position with your clothes on and slowly take them off, piece by piece.

4. LYING ON TOP OF HIM

This position for cuddling requires some serious commitment, because you have to climb all the way on top of your man. Therefore it probably isn’t the best bet if you guys aren’t lying on something comfortable, but either way, it’s bound to be cozy for you! Have him spread his legs a bit so you can fit one of yours between his for extra closeness. It’s also the perfect position to start the Man Missionary position from.

5. SITTING IN HIS LAP

This position for cuddling is excellent for watching a movie, eating snacks, chilling out or watching the sun set. Because it’s far more appropriate than most of the lying-down positions, you don’t need to worry about keeping it ‘clean’ for your grandmother or little brothers. That makes it a good way to stay close even on a busy day or when there are lots of people around, which is good, because on these days you both often need an extra hit of love and TLC.

It’s also perfect for moving into something like the Back Seat Driver sex position.

6. LYING UNDERNEATH HIM

Of course, this is another of those cuddling positions that bears a large resemblance to sexy times, but it doesn’t have to result in amorous activities like the good old fashioned Missionary position. Lying underneath your guy is a great way to feel close to one another and to lay face to face, or can offer great opportunities for a little low-stakes making out that goes nowhere…perfect for a quiet evening in.

7. SNUGGLING FACE TO FACE

One of the coziest cuddling positions for talking, snuggling face to face offers you lots of opportunity to gaze lovingly at your man. Simply turn toward each other in the bed or even on a couch, holding hands or putting your arms around each other like in the Lotus position. If you like, you can even curl your legs up into a fetal position and he can bend his body around you for even more closeness.

What’s not to like?

But keep in mind that during the day, this position offers lots of opportunity for your guy to notice your hair and face, so it may not be the best approach after a late night or when your mascara needs washing off.

8. HOLDING HANDS WHILE LYING ON YOUR STOMACHS

This cuddling position gives you both a little more freedom of movement. Simply lie down on your tummies and reach into the shared space (which some of us think of as “the neutral zone”) to hold hands. This is perfect for slowly falling asleep with some contact, or for talking till dawn. More of a back sleeper? No problem … this works equally well for those that prefer to lay on their bums, and can even be adapted so that one member of the couple lies one way and one lies the other.

9. INTERTWINING YOUR LEGS

If you enjoy snuggled up legs, you might like a cuddling position that leaves your torsos and arms free to do what they like and entwines your legs together. This position can work with you facing each other, with one of you spooning the other, or with both of you on your stomachs or backs. Simply entangle your legs, wrapping yours around his and playing footsie if you get the opportunity!

10. CUDDLING BACK TO BACK

A great cuddling position for falling asleep, snuggling up back to back allows you to feel your guy’s warmth and appreciate his proximity without having to do much. It’s best for cozying up under warm blankets as you drift off and gaze out the window or enjoy a little late-night pillow talk. You can even reach behind you and grab a hand.

Working on your relationship can take many forms, but one of the easiest and most enjoyable ways to do it is simply to snuggle up. Take every opportunity you can to get close to your man in the living room, out in public, and especially in the bedroom. You’ll be glad you did!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Better Sex as a Fit Woman

by zfortadminin Sex

Are you fit enough for a better sex?

Over the past few years, researchers have made some important discoveries about the body and brain connections of sex and exercise. “Being physically active seems to be a potent aphrodisiac for women,” says Tina M. Penhollow, Ph.D., an associate professor of health promotion at Florida Atlantic University, who has published research on how exercise affects sexual self-esteem.

Passionate Couple In Bed…BOOSTS FOCUS

All too common: He’s kissing your neck, but you’re thinking about that major work deadline. Exercise can help sync your mind to your body, as well as quiet your racing brain so you can focus on the task at hand, says Lori Brotto, Ph.D., director of the Sexual Health Laboratory at the University of British Columbia in Canada.

…ACCELERATES AROUSAL

Studies have shown that women who frequently exercise become aroused more quickly and are able to orgasm faster and more intensely. University of Texas at Austin researchers found that female study participants were 169 percent more aroused (as indicated by blood flow in genital tissue) while watching a short porn flick after 20 minutes of vigorous cycling than when they watched it without riding beforehand. When you get excited, blood surges into the clitoral bulbs, making the entire region around the vagina responsive to pleasure. Cardiovascular exercise can help blood pump faster to the right parts of your body; it can also reduce chronic inflammation, which can damage blood vessels and decrease circulation, putting a damper on your sexual bliss.

…BUILDS STRONGER PIPES

A healthy pair of lungs helps express your elation with more gusto, of course, but you’ll have a lot more to scream about if you learn to control your breath. Partners who breathe in tandem may create a bigger buildup, which can intensify pleasure. And women who take short, quick breaths as they reach climax—rather than holding their breath—may reduce carbon dioxide in the blood, possibly intensifying vaginal contractions. Yoga can help women focus on their breathing, while high-intensity interval training increases lung capacity—which ensures you’ll be vocalizing your gratification through the grand finale.

…REVS UP YOUR LIBIDO

During a single strength workout, your body produces higher levels of growth hormone and testosterone, hormones that play a pivotal role in muscle growth–and sex drive. A 2013 study found that hitting the weight room regularly (three days a week) keeps levels of these hormones higher. That, along with the stress-busting benefits of pumping iron, can stoke greater sexual desire, says Kim Chronister, Psy.D., author of The Psychology Behind Fitness Motivation.

…ENHANCES IN-THE-SACK ENDURANCE

Some women can take 12 minutes—or longer—to orgasm. If your body fizzles out prior to that, you may be missing out, says sex therapist Denise Onofrey. Regular physical activity improves stamina and trains your muscles to hold out longer by using energy more efficiently. The result? You won’t have to pause prematurely to give your aching arms or tired legs a break during your next epic sex session.

…GETS YOU FEELING SEXIER

Exercise transforms the way you view your body—and how you enjoy sex. Penhollow found that women who exercised frequently and reported higher levels of personal fitness were more likely to rate their desirability and sexual performance high above average. But it’s not necessarily because of a slim physique. Researchers found that women of all sizes who reported greater body appreciation (for their physical abilities, such as progress in the weight room) were more easily aroused, enjoyed sex more, and had more orgasms.

…LIGHTENS YOUR MOOD

Even feeling just a little down in the dumps can weaken desire, says Chronister. Exercise leads to an immediate rush of mood-lifting, stress-dissolving endorphins; it’s such a potent anti-depressant that some research suggests regular workouts are as effective as psychiatric medications.

…HELPS SHED INHIBITIONS

Some women get seriously distracted–even totally turned off–when their partner touches one of their less-than-favorite body parts mid-romp. A consistent workout routine can help: When Italian researchers put a small group of obese women with sexual complaints in a supervised weight-loss program (that included diet and about 10 hours of low-intensity exercise per week), they not only lost an average of 35 pounds but also reported higher levels of lubrication and sexual frequency after 16 weeks. Study authors note that weight loss does more than improve body image: It also helps improve insulin resistance. Overweight women whose bodies can’t use the hormone to process glucose also tend to have lower levels of testosterone, which dampens self-confidence and sexual response.

…MAKES YOU MORE SENSITIVE

And we don’t mean crying during sex. The tissue that forms the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibers that extend into the entire pelvic region, including the vaginal walls. Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that physical activity was able to prime a woman’s body for sexual activity by making her more sensitive to touch and increasing the efficacy of stimuli, likely by revving up a network of neurons known as your sympathetic nervous system, which controls your arousal, says Brotto.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Best Reasons to Hold Out (for Sex)

by zfortadminin Sex

The discussion about whether holding out is going to make a guy more interested in a serious relationship than he would be if you guys do the deed early–I’ll say that I agree with my guy friends.

My sense is that it doesn’t matter how long you wait to have sex.

Regardless, I recently decided I’m not going to have sex with any new guy until I’ve been dating him at least two months.

Why?

Well, I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. I’ve waited too long to have sex–and I’ve done it too soon. Neither is so great.

As I think I’ve mentioned, I didn’t lose my virginity till I was TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD–which is an example of waiting a little too long. I was waiting to find the one true love of my life, so I told myself. That kind of thing might work out well in certain Amish, Hasidic or Muslim communities, but I run with a crowd that is, dare I say, a little more hip than that. And if I had to do it all over again, I’d have gotten the whole virginity thing out of the way A LOT SOONER. Waiting for marriage does not seem terribly worth doing, to me.

After becoming de-virginized, I have waited different amounts of time to have sex, depending on the guy. For instance, I knew my pal Jake Stein for more than a year before we even started dating. On the other hand, I slept with another guy on our second date–not usually the way I roll. But it felt so right–and he was so willing to wait, and so sweet about doing whatever I wanted to do–that I didn’t question it at all. He and I agreed that night to stop seeing other people, and we went on to date for four months, which is close to a record amount of time for me.

However, very recently, I had a bad experience after having sex too early on–after dating a very mature 25-year-old guy for less than a month. Before we met, he’d made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship; and after we met, he told me he’s planning on leaving New York once he finishes up grad school next year … whereas I have no plans to leave anytime soon. Regardless, I thought I could handle having a short-term thing with him (perhaps in part because I was so intoxicated by his ridiculously sexy body). So eventually, I decided, eh, what the hell, I’d give in to his demands! I’d go for it. So we did the deed a few times. But shortly thereafter, saying he wanted to save both of us the pain of getting more deeply involved in an affair that would have to end before long (huh?), he called it off. It felt very abrupt, and it was very painful for me.

So yes, I’ve decided to wait for two months. Here are all the arguments in favor of my decision:

1) Women (esp. me) have much stronger emotional reactions to sex than men do.

Studies have shown that the bonding hormone, oxytocin, gets released in both men and women when they’re touching, holding hands, kissing or snuggling. But oxytocin INCREASES in women after sex, while DECREASING in men, post-ejaculation. Interesting, right?Now, I’m the type of person who feels connected to my check-out guy at Trader Joe’s after a two-minute conversation about almond butter. And after having sex with someone–apparently due in part to all the oxytocin that is released–I feel amuch bigger connection to him. (Uh, no, I’ve never had sex with the Trader Joe’s dude.) By holding off while getting to know someone, I’ll save myself from additional pain if things don’t work out.

2) Holding out helps you protect your feelings.

I used to think I’d cut out all the “self-destructive” behavior in my life: After all, I quit using drugs, quit smoking and quit drinking (for the most part). I exercise all the time, eat as healthfully as I can, and am very careful about getting enough sleep. But after the experience with 25-year-old Mr. Heartthrob described above, I realize I can still be rather emotionally self-destructive. In the Heartthrob case, I hurled myself head first into a difficult situation, telling myself it will be worth it for the opportunity to get to know an interesting and very smart person who shares many of my interests–poetry, experimental music, fiction, theater, classic movies. (And for the opportunity to have hot hot sex with him!) I was thinking of only the pleasures. I wasn’t thinking of the pain, and the havoc the situation might wreck on my emotional stability.

3) Deciding on an a priori time frame helps you control your libido.

If I’d told myself I was going to hold off a full two months before getting horizontal with Mr. Heartthrob, it would’ve been easier to resist him. Instead, because I didn’t have a rule in mind, I let my sexual urges override my common sense.

4) Deciding on a priori time frame makes you feel (and seem) more in control of the situation.

That’s always nice, right?

5) Holding off can give you more clarity on the situation.

See points #2 and #4 above. When I start having sex with someone, a lot of what makes me crazy for him is simply the sex. I become a junkie! And that can make me lose sight of everything else.

6) Casual sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Sometimes I think I should be living it up more–and thereby having more casual sex, in this post-Carrie Bradshaw era. But as I know from my experience with Mr. Heartthrob, the intoxicating nights of fun aren’t worth the subsequent psychological hangover. Ouch.

7) You have a very healthy relationship with your vibrator, don’t you? (You should.)

My battery-operated device gives me all the sexual pleasure I need … and then some. So it’s not like I’m in desperate need of an orgasmic fix. What’s more, most men don’t leave me feeling anywhere near as satisfied as my vibe does. (Although, of course, being with a human being–as opposed to a piece of plastic–has its own rewards.)

8) Is one more short-term relationship going to help you find a long-term relationship?

I think I’ve had my fill of short-term relationship experience. Now, I’m ready to wait till something more serious comes along.

9)When you do have sex with someone you’ve known for two months, it’ll probably be more awesome than it would’ve been otherwise.

Right?

So … that’s where I’m at.

Go ahead: tell me what you think. Call me crazy. Tell me I’m finally wising up. Lay it on me. Just don’t get laid on me before you’ve been dating two months–unless you know you’re all right with it.

xxx

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Sex with Robots?

by zfortadminin Sex

Will humans soon enjoy the option of having sex with robots? We discuss the technology behind this progressive idea, along with legal, moral and ethical implications. How will this humanlike-bot alter reality? Will relationships suffer as a result?

sex_robots

Originally aired on October 6, 2015

Guests:

Emma Yann Zhang @yannc2021 (London, United Kingdom)
PhD Student, City University London

Neil McArthur @morallust (Winnipeg, Canada)
Associate Director, Centre for Professional and Applied Ethics, University of Manitoba

Kathleen Richardson (Cambridge, United Kingdom)
Director, Campaign Against Sex Robots; Senior Research Fellow in Ethics of Robotics, De Montfort University; Anthropologist

Matt McMullen @AbyssCreations (San Diego, CA)
Creator, RealDoll

Host:

Caitlyn Becker
@caitlynbecker

Featured image credit: Huffington Post

Curated by Timothy
Originally appeared in Huffington Post

Oxytocin-Based Sexual Connection

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sex is one of the most common ways we feel deep euphoric bliss in our lives. It creates a feeling of pleasure, liberation and euphoric release, releasing bio-energy within our body.

Of course, sex can also cause a lot of problems in our lives. There can be negative consequences associated with sex when it is not engaged in or perceived in a sustainable, connected and bliss-giving way. It can affect our self-esteem and throw our intimate relationships out of whack, particularly when it is viewed only as a way to achieve orgasm, not as a shared energetic connection.

By understanding the trends of the underlying hormonal activities associated with sex and orgasm, and how the change in our chemistry affect our moods, behavior, desires and wants, we can work with our body’s hormonal system to make sexual interaction a more spiritual and rewarding experience.

Understanding the Hormones

The main player among the wellbeing hormones is dopamine, also known as the reward hormone. Then there is prolactin, the hormone of satiation, and oxytocin, the love and bliss hormone. All these hormones interact powerfully affecting our moods and desire for intimacy and bonding. And although we might believe that dynamics within the relationship has a conscious element to it, there is also a deep physical hormonal element that contributes to our experience.Copy of chakra sex

Within our brain there is a code that tells us what we need to do to be happy, healthy, wealthy, glowing and living within our life’s purpose. When we do those things, and we experience things such as social interaction, pair bonding and orgasm, our endocrine system responds by releasing oxytocin.

When we first fall in love we become bonded by rising levels of oxytocin, which is the love and cuddle hormone, and we also feel a peak in our dopamine levels. When we start having sex with that person, we experience a big release of dopamine, which comes like a huge wave in the brain during the orgasm. It feels amazing! However this is then followed by a significant drop in dopamine levels immediately after orgasm, which brings hangover-like effects. Generally speaking, the timing of this hangover varies by gender; the reaction tends to be immediate in males and slightly delayed in females.

Crossed Wires

You’re falling in love, making a deep intimate connection and becoming vulnerable. You have sex with the one you’re falling for, and you have an orgasm — followed by a steep decline in dopamine levels.

At this point, the male impulse goes more or less like this: “Ok, I’m done. I don’t have any more energy, I’m just gonna go to sleep” or “I’m gonna watch TV for a bit”. The female may feel disappointed or rejected; she still wants to cuddle, stay connected and lay in this loving space.

After the orgasm, the man and the woman enter different biological and hormonal cycles that can cause a disconnection, as they are not on the same page. The male is responding to the decline in dopamine and testosterone while the female is high in oxytocin levels, the intimacy hormone.alexgrey-lovers

As most of us don’t have much awareness of this hormonal experience, it is not uncommon for females to begin creating stories in our mind to explain our male partner’s sudden withdrawl — that he doesn’t like us or he just used us for sex, that there’s something missing in the relationship or not enough intimacy, that we might be better off with a more spiritually evolved partner who would stay in this loving space with us, and so on and so forth. We might even start remembering the connection we shared when we first met (when oxytocin levels were at their highest) which seemingly disappeared after our relationship became sexual, or diminished as time went by.

In reality, we are each just experiencing our biological nature.

Oxytocin by itself is considered to make us indiscriminate in its bonding influence. Under its influence, we may feel a bond towards “any” person that we are sexually or even physically intimate with.

Cravings for Novelty and Dopamine

Our levels of dopamine, the reward hormone, tend to rise in response to the excitement that of things that are new and novel. Think about the time, for example, when you bought your car – how excited you were. And now, when you look at it every time, most likely you don’t feel anything towards it.

When we get into a relationship, it comes with a sense of novelty and newness created by this reward-like system. You were looking for a partner, and boom — there’s someone you’re connecting with, having an interaction or a sexual encounter. And because your needs are being met, you’re experiencing a sense of a reward, a biological prize of sorts. Over time, there’s less of that sense of novelty as the peaks of dopamine, testosterone, and prolactin levels subside. We may feel symptoms of hormonal withdrawal, almost like addiction, which can make us feel helpless and dejected.

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Shower Sex Positions

by zfortadminin Sex

Let’s face it. Shower sex is as easy as fitting a king sized bed in a New York City apartment. Unless your shower is the size of a walk in closet, your options are limited. 

Here are four positions that can make shower sex more fun.

1. Manos en la Pared (Hands on the Wall)

Stand up straight with your hands against the wall and legs spread slightly. Your man will enter you from behind. Tip: Be sure to aim your shower head as downward as possible so the water isn’t hitting you guys directly in the face. That can be distracting and things will get really wet — not in a good way.

2. Afeitado? (Shaving?)

Know how you lift your leg up and set it at the edge of the tub to shave? That’s an awesome sex position (tried and true, just saying)! Just make sure you have something to grip on. You don’t want to fall out and get a head injury or something.

3. La Silla (The Seat)

This one always works and you don’t risk busting your ass in a slippery bath tub. Have him sit down with his legs stretched out or slightly bent at the knee if he’s tall. Straddle him and go to town. The water hitting your back lightly will feel extra good.

4. Hacia Arriba (Straight Up)

Stand up straight with your back against the wall, lift one leg up and wrap it around his lower back. Tip: It will be easier for him to have full control if he presses his hands against the wall you’re leaning on.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Can You Achieve Multiple Orgasms?

by zfortadminin Sex

We’ve all heard whispers and rumors, but actually having multiple orgasms? Well, that’s on par with having hair like a Victoria’s Secret angel and a metabolism that can burn right through morning bagels.

But sexperts are here to reassure us all that multiple orgasms really do exist and—even better—that we can all have them!

“I had a client who would regularly have 30 to 40 orgasms in a session with her man. She may be the extreme, but having one to five is totally normal and doable for any woman,” says holistic sex and relationship expert Kim Anami.

Obviously, we don’t need to convince how great an orgasm is, but there are actually benefits beyond just pleasure. “Touch, pleasure and orgasms all have a host of health benefits including boosting your immune system, regulating sleep cycles, alleviating anxiety and depression, and creating emotional wellbeing,” says Chris Rose, sex educator at PleasureMechanics.com. Plus, she adds, the more pleasure you feel, the more adept your body becomes at releasing the pleasure hormones, so it becomes a positive feedback loop. In addition to the chemical and hormonal benefits, orgasms also lead to greater degrees of emotional release and openness for the woman.

And if one orgasm is healthy, imagine how much better off you’d be with two or more!

So, the question on all of our minds is, how?! “Many women don’t allow themselves to get fully aroused, and arousal is what fuels multiple orgasms,” Rose explains. This is a long road, and one you might not reach the end of on the first try, but Rose and Anami have a pretty thorough guide to help you get there. To achieve maximum arousal and multiple Os, follow these seven steps:

Check Your Emotions

Building arousal and experiencing multiple Os in one go is definitely about physical technique (don’t worry, we’ll get there), but first step is setting your thoughts and emotions straight. “Becoming a multiorgasmic woman is a mindset more than anything,” Rose says.

It’s as easy as believing it’s possible for you personally to climax more than once, Anami says. Next is learning to relax: “Deeper orgasms are all about a very intense state of release, so you have to be willing to dive into the unknown and let go,” Anami adds. Once your attitude starts to shift, two or more orgasms may well become your new normal, Rose says.

Slow Him Down

“Male stamina is crucial in women being able to reach higher states of pleasure and orgasm more,” Anami says. In fact, the average man takes anywhere from three to seven minutes to climax, while the average woman requires anywhere from 10 to 20—a discrepancy researchers call “the arousal gap.” How do you close that time frame? Female-focused foreplay is one of the best techniques, because it allows you to start down the excitement path earlier than him, which leads us to…

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PlayBoy… Full Female Nudity Over

by zfortadminin Sex

Weigh in… Playboy centerfold just doesn’t have the same sexual zing?

I was mildly surprised when I read today that Playboy has decided it will no longer feature full female nudity in its pages.

I mean, I haven’t seen the magazine in years, but I think it’s probably fair to say that Playboy, and its relatively tame photos, have touched the psyche of any American kid who came up in the age of Hefner, that is to say the second half of the 20th century.

Almost everyone I know has a Playboy story or two. Perhaps they once found their father’s stash. Perhaps their mother once found their stash. For an American teenager at one time, sneaking a Playboy was almost a rite of passage. I have a couple of stories myself.

Around 1972, my parents bought a beachside cabin in Baja, between Rosarito and Ensenada. It was a shack, really, and the sole bedroom was barely big enough to contain a bed. The previous owner, a Navy man, I believe, named Chester C. Crush (memorable name, plus his initials were carved into the doors), had papered the ceiling of the teensy bedroom with Playboy centerfolds.

My mother was totally grossed out.

She chopped up a bunch of Sunset magazines, and glued photos of landscapes and gardens over the rampant ceiling boobage. As a joke, though, she left one pair of breasts uncovered. I would lie on the bed with my friends and ask, “Do you see anything unusual on the ceiling?”

Many years later, I was asked by the Detroit Free Press magazine to write a story about a young Michigan woman who had been selected to pose as Playboy’s Playmate of the Month. I’d worked at the Detroit Free Press as a fashion editor and columnist for several years, and when I took a job at the L.A. Times in 1990, the Free Press asked me if I could squeeze in a freelance assignment.

What feminist wouldn’t want to write about the antediluvian custom of photographing naked women for the pleasure of horny dudes? I leaped at the chance.

Frankly, I did not have a huge objection to pictures of nekkid ladies, although I have never bought the idea that women who choose to pose nude, or dance nude, are exercising true agency over their own sexual lives. They are allowing themselves to be exploited for cash. That’s not my definition of empowerment. But hey, as long as there is no coercion involved, I can live with that.

At the time, I was told by Playboy spokespeople that I was the first reporter ever to be invited to cover an actual playmate shoot. Was that true? Really, I have no idea. But of course, that made the assignment even more enticing.

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Erotic Intimacy and Tantra

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Ironically, I learned about this concept without a partner. In my single years, I executed a crazy experiment where consciously, I decided not to have an orgasm for a year.

No touching or canoodling—nada.

Suspecting the spiritual nature and sexuality were connected, I wanted to test abstinence’s effect on my spiritual self-actualization. Walking around like a monkish pleasures-of-the-flesh-abstinence adept, I hoped to transmute the latent sex energy into something awesome. My body would become a living alchemy of crazy sex energy, bursting with power.

Ultimately, this method would provide me with a river of rapid flowing energy discharged for quick manifestations.

In tandem, I yoga’d out and built a meditation practice om’ing three times a day to cope without my usual orgasmic release, which even without a partner, was (ahem) considerable.

At the time, the experiment yielded some fascinating results.

I wrote a book in six months, found an incredible loving partner and saw a major increase in my spiritual expansion. But recently, I was feeling my partner’s absence as something more unsettling. After spending over a week in the Costa Rican rainforest, the lack of my partner’s touches had me feeling the pang of truth from the old adage.

Like the times before without the release, I felt my head was going to pop off.

While lamenting to my best girlfriend about my recent ‘urges’ percolating, she mentioned Tantra as a sexual practice. She’d been to a couples workshop in Colorado led by tantric veteran Caroline Muir. She encouraged me to let the current of bubbly sex energy build, ride the wave and read Caroline’s work to my husband after I got home.

Partner Pleasures

Granted, we already had a pretty rockin’ sex life, even after eight years, but my being away for this stint awakened a strong desire to be more creative in the sack. We’d never broached the subject of Tantra, but if Sting was into it, how bad could it be? I wanted to carry that heart pounding absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder thing back to Alaska and knock his woolly socks off like a Lioness.

I had images of my hair wild, singing Carol King’s, “I feel the earth move under my feet” writhing over top of him like a nature Goddess, riding our wave of ecstasy.

I like to follow the philosophy of the Tao and watch what is present. So when I searched for Caroline Muir and couldn’t find her book online I purchased Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas instead—I wasn’t disappointed.

Carrellas goes into vivid detail and great depths on using the tantric way for mutual stimulation and arousal. She teaches how to literally breathe more life into sex through more traditional tantric techniques like yoni and lingham massage, to more alternative methods like S & M and fetishes; she covers a wide swath.

Thankful for Barbara’s visual aids and along with her compelling voice and stories, I was ready to trust the Tantra.

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Does This Smell Good to You? Hawaiian Mushroom That Makes Women Orgasm

by zfortadminin Sex

I have good news and bad news. Let’s start with the good news:

Scientists have discovered an orange mushroom in recent Hawaiian lava flows that can induce instantaneous orgasms in women just from the odor it gives off. That’s right, fellas. You can get your girl to bust nuts all over the place just by having her sniff this thing.

This orgasm triggered by fungus, or “fungasm,” is due in part from hormones in the mushroom that are close in similarity to the same ones picked up by our own neurotransmitters. Basically, the smell of this shroom makes the female body think it’s having sex. Imagine walking into a sorority house with your pockets filled with these mushrooms.

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Take your time, I’ll wait. Really let your mind paint that picture, and enjoy it while you can. Because here comes the bad news:

The orange mushroom smells orgasmic to women and literally caused nearly half of the volunteers for the study to climax. Unfortunately, it smells like week old horse shit to men. In the International Journal of Medicinal Mushrooms, the discoverers of the orange fungus, John C. Holliday and Noah Soule, concluded that all the male test subjects were repulsed by the fetid smell.

So if you’re bad in bed and need a little bit of help, go find these mushrooms and hide a bunch of them under your bed. Then grab a clothes pin for yourself. Thank me later.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article
Photo Credit: Deviant Art

The Other Virginity: To Be or Not to Be

by Susanna Leein Sex

“If you’re confused, I’ll just say that it’s the most common one to be kept the longest (by non-Catholics).”

My parents never had “the talk” with me.  We never discussed sex, not the technical how-to, nor the philosophical meaning.  They were busy, preoccupied with their own chaos, so I gathered my information about it as I went along, from books and friends and friend’s older brother’s porn collections..  I figured out what I needed to know, but I didn’t realize that virginity was a thing that some people save for true love, or some semblance thereof, until I only had one virginal penetration point left.  You know the one…if you’re confused, I’ll just say that it’s the most common one to be kept the longest (by non-Catholics).   Now, since I am a true romantic at heart, I thought the idea of saving something for true love was really sweet, and decided to save my anal virginity for someone special.

For years after making that decision, it never came up.  I’m not sure if that’s because it was the 90’s, and backdoor play didn’t really come into vogue focus until post-millennium, or because I was mostly sleeping with guys after last call, who were too drunk to do anything that required effort (bc any drunken fool can fall into an open vagina, but a lady’s bum requires a considerable amount more finesse).  Then, when I was 25, I fell in love.  However, it was with a man who was…gifted…with very, very large equipment.  So I rethought my plan, and decided to wait until marriage, thinking that if this guy would be the one, I’d have an entire lifetime to work up to the feat, and if this man was not to be my betrothed, whoever was would surely have less manhood to work with, making the special act less intimidating.

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Call it Secondary Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

I have never stopped desiring sex and I have never identified as asexual. In fact, I frequently want to have sex with people, but I simply do not.

When I called my health clinic last month to refill the birth-control pill prescription I have had for 10 years, I was put on the line with a doctor — not my normal gynecologist — who began asking questions about my health.

“It says on your form that you’re interested in both men and women but that you do not use alternative forms of birth control outside of the pill,” he said.

“That’s correct,” I said. To pre-empt a safe-sex lecture, I told him I hadn’t had sex in two years, so it was really a moot point.

“So you’re secondary abstaining then,” he said, surely making note of this somewhere in my records.

“Well, I think ‘accidental abstaining’ is more appropriate,” I said jokingly, attempting to maintain some dignity in this conversation with a man I likely would never meet who seemed to view me as some kind of morally reformed or seriously disturbed woman in my mid-20s.

After we hung up, I Googled “secondary abstaining” and learned that it refers to someone who is sexually experienced but has chosen to no longer be sexually active, usually for reasons relating to religious faith, unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.

I am without faith in almost all respects, I have never been pregnant, nor have I had any STD’s. I have never stopped desiring sex and I have never identified as asexual. In fact, I frequently want to have sex with people, but I simply do not.

I’m “secondary” in a lot of things these days: secondary vegetarian, secondary sober, secondary nonsmoker. But here is how my secondary abstaining departs from my secondary everything else.

I quit eating meat because I developed a deeper concern for the environment. I quit smoking because it’s bad for you. I quit drinking because I have a problem with alcohol. But I never actually quit having sex. Sex just stopped being a thing that happened in my life.

My most recent sexual experience was two years ago in a barn in Kentucky with a photographer I had met in Ohio eight days before. I was temporarily living on a farm in Independence the day he drove from Columbus to spend the afternoon with me.

I bought a bottle of Larceny bourbon the night before in preparation and had consumed half before he arrived. I had never had sober sex with a new partner, and I wasn’t about to start with a guy I barely knew.

I know many people are adept at this sleeping-with-strangers thing. I have never known how to do this. I have never known how to go from, “So what’s your name?” to having you in my bed or me in your bed or us in the back of a car in the parking lot of a Target.

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10 Sheet Grabbing Foreplays

by zfortadminin Sex

Finding foreplay repetitive? When it comes to getting in the mood, foreplay is by far the most important aspect of sex. But don’t worry there’s always something for you and your partner to enjoy. We butted heads with top sexperts and rounded up the 10 best foreplay tips guaranteed to make you and your partner go wild. Here’s what you need to know…

Sex should be fun, playful and anything but boring so why not invest some time and effort into your foreplay techniques? Trust us, it CAN go a long way!

Author of Sex Academy, Dr Pam Spurr says, “For no holds barred pleasure the best foreplay really teases your partner increasing their desire meaning they’re far more likely to climax.”

There’s always a time and a place for a tease and when you’re warming up before getting down, there’s no better time to use your foreplay skills to your advantage. Remember, it’s all about the anticipation.

So to help you make sex exciting again we got together with the best sex and relationships experts out there to share their advice on mind blowing foreplay. Ladies, here’s how to fire him up…

1. Eastern swirl and poke

Dr Pam suggests a little trick that your man can use to make you go wild.

“When you’ve started foreplay and you’re kissing and caressing, he should move on down your body and use the ‘Eastern Swirl and Poke’ kissing technique,” she explains.

“He relaxes his lips and allows his tongue to swirl around the tips of your nipples. Then he alternates this sensation with a gentle poking action from the tip of his tongue. He can also move down your body to use on you for oral-sex pleasure.” Show him how you like.

2. Go for the grind

Founder of Cliterati.co.uk, Emily Dubberly says it’s all about grinding to get you worked up.

“Rather than going purely for penetration or clitoral stimulation, try grinding against your man’s thigh or opt for some good old-fashioned dry humping,” she suggests.” That way, you can stimulate your pubic mound and way more of your clitoris than usual – it can work just as well with your clothes on as off.”

One thing for your man to consider is paying more attention to your breasts. Sexpert and owner of online sex retailer Jo Divine, Samantha Evans says, “Most men love boobs but don’t give them much attention during foreplay, rushing to your more obvious body parts. Get your man to devote more time, lavishly massaging oil into your gorgeous breasts and concentrating on your nipples with both his fingers and mouth”. You’ll both enjoy it!

3. Moves like a movie star

Being a bit of a tease is a good thing when it comes to foreplay so when you’re getting down to it, why not try and keep up the anticipation for an entire film?

“If you want to really turn your guy on try lubing your hand thoroughly then gripping and releasing your man rather than sliding your hand up and down – this will make it easier for you to keep going for longer.

Position your thumb on the frenulum (the stringy bit that runs from the head to the shaft) as it tends to be the most sensitive. Try teasing him for an ENTIRE film, stopping just before climax then starting again for a truly explosive finish.” Works every time. Massage him with YES Organic Lube and watch him go wild.

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