What is Tantra?
Tantric sex taps into the erotic energy between two people, no matter what level of sexual experience.
Building this energy is the key to more powerful and longer orgasmic experiences. Practiced routinely, this erotic energy aligns with the other facets of life, including our relationship, more joy, spiritual expansion and intimacy.
Despite my confidence and feeling all big and indestructibly sexy, Carol King Lioness and all, I felt an underlying insecurity. I hadn’t ever practiced Tantric sex—It’s not like being a teenager and practicing your tongue technique by kissing your forearm or working your tongue action in the mirror. On the flight home, I started to consider the fact that I’d be taking a slight risk trying Tantric sex.
Risk can be a good thing.
It’s refreshing and energizing but, in terms of this feeling of insecurity, I couldn’t help Spike Lee’s movie Girl 6coming to mind. It’s based on the life of a phone sex operator. Girl 6 flawlessly rolls with each caller’s desires. In each scene, she gives erotic directions, chats her listener into a heightened state of sexual bliss, leaving them wanton and orgasmic. I on the other hand, although able to write my emotions, have a very hard time talking a man into any kind of steamy scenario.
I lived in my head.
I’m like Woody Allen to Girl 6’s Hustler: neurotic and tongue-tied.
My sexual creativity just doesn’t roll that way and I’ve accepted this to a certain degree. With practice, I’m sure I could gain some higher skill level but the emotional risk to venture there is terrifying.
Besides, there are well known sexual differences between men and women.
It is commonly accepted that men’s arousal levels are processed through visual stimulation. Women, on the other hand, are more emotionally receptive. With this in mind, I had a shudder of anxiety—what I feel will be a home run in the sexy department might be a real turn off for my partner.
Taking any kind of risk with a sexual partner can be psychologically daunting because it isn’t just a physical intimacy issue; it’s an emotional risk as well. All the information in the world wasn’t going to lessen that small insecurity of baring my naked soul, vulnerability and exposure I felt over putting my Tantric Lion self out there—no matter how long we’d been married.
I decided to push past my insecurity and be brave.
The sexy bug bit me through all my reading on Tantra and I decided it was worth it to challenge myself. I was glad I did. After I got back home, it was like a whole new playing field. There were some big successes and a few minor pitfalls.
First, let me share this cautionary warning if you read Urban Tantra. When it comes to 
the Twist and Shout, a stroke for pleasuring men, take the teenager route and try a few times on a banana to gauge your strength and grip before working it on your man.
I’m serious, she doesn’t call it theTwist and Shout for nothing.
Another thing I’ve learned from my adventures in Tantric Sex is this: start slow. Beginning anything new takes practice so wade in gently. Try a few techniques—what I call ‘risky exposure.’ If successful, if your partner is open to trying more, take it a step further.
Over all, tantric sex, with its erotic energy surely can replace the more rigorous method of abstinence to induce the alchemy of spiritual energy and instant manifestation.
With a willing and honest partner it can become a practice much like yoga that opens up the heart and infuses it with a warm liquid heat of eroticism fueling deeper passion and connection to the inner-self. Tantra brings with it new meaning to the word fulfillment.