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6 SEX New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

These resolutions sure beat dieting and promising to go to the gym.


Enough with the resolutions about diets and gym memberships. As midlifers, we know there are more important changes to make in your life for improved health and well-being, stronger self-esteem and better relationships. And while a few may involve the kitchen (wink, wink), nobody is talking about dieting here. H/T to Leah Millheiser, Nuelle’s chief scientific officer, for these marvelous Sexolutions:

1. The bedroom will not be used for electronics unless they vibrate.

No, we don’t mean your phone on vibrate mode. Bedrooms are for sleeping, relaxing and love-making. There is no room for smart phones, iPads, laptops or televisions. Bedrooms are sacred spaces and should be afforded their due.

2. Exercise all your muscles.

Working out stimulates the body and the brain and of course helps burn calories and releases endorphins. All good stuff, notes Millheiser. But, ahem, aren’t you forgetting something? The Kegel muscles — AKA the love muscles — wrap around the vagina and anus. Working them helps strengthen the pelvic floor, which supports the bladder, rectum, uterus, and vagina. Kegel exercises can improve your general health, give you better control over urinary and bowel functions, and also make sex sensational again because strong Kegels heighten your arousal, enhance your orgasms, improve blood circulation to the genitals, and increase vaginal tone and lubrication.

3. Think arousing thoughts.

Be in touch with your sensual self. Building self-confidence in your sex life will only improve it, Millheiser notes. Build a mind-body connection. News flash: You won’t be the first person in the world to see George Clooney when you close your eyes.

4. Install a bedroom door lock.

Maybe Millheiser has met your Golden Retriever who moves from the foot of the bed to between Mom and Dad when things start to get interesting. She says it is wise to keep the kids and pets at bay and distractions to a minimum. Clearly she knows from whence she speaks.

5. Talk more, fester less.

Let your partner know what you want. The more you discuss your likes and dislikes, the easier it is to have your needs met. Nobody is a mind reader. Being upset because you think your partner “should know” something makes no sense — and won’t improve your relationship or sex life. Tell them, not your best friend, when things aren’t happening for you.

6. Make it fun.

Sex toys, role-playing, whatever gets your engines revving — go for it.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Sex, Food and the Priorities of the Male Brain

Science has disproved that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach when researchers found that men’s need for sex can override his need for food.


Researchers from the University College London found that the male brain has specific neurons that can override the desire to eat for sex, according to their study published in the journal Nature. The researchers actually discovered this in the brains of nematode worms, but they believe human brains have those neurons as well.

The scientists used the Caenorhabditis elegans in their research. This worm species has two sexes: male and hermaphrodite. The hermaphrodites – in essence modified females – carry their own sperm and can reproduce asexually. The newly discovered brain cells, named by the researchers as MCMs or “mystery cells of the male,” only appear in males that are sexually mature.

The worms are conditioned to think that they could go hungry if salt was presented to them and learned to avoid the material as much as they could. However, if males are in the same vicinity of the females, even with the presence of salt, the male worms still seek out their mates.

This proved to the scientists that the desire to copulate was stronger than the threat of hunger for male worms.

“Though the work is carried out in a small worm, it nevertheless gives us a perspective that helps us appreciate and possibly understand the variety of human sexuality, sexual orientation and gender identification,” study co-author and professor Scott Emmons from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine said.

He added that, while it is yet to be proven true in humans, their findings imply the possibility that the human male brain may be wired differently from the human female, at least in this aspect.

“This may change how the two sexes perceive the world and their behavioral priorities,” Emmons said.

Interestingly enough, the female worms don’t express the same urge as they continue to avoid the salt at any cost, even if it meant avoiding potential mates.

The difference in behavior between sexes provided researchers with a better insight on how each gender perceived the priorities of their needs. In this situation, the males’ neural composition allowed them to prioritize sex in future situations.

“In the broader picture, it gets at this question of how do men and women think and behave differently,” said University College London researcher Richard Poole. “We always wonder, do we have different learning aptitudes or is it social, and in this case, it happens to be genetic.”


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Original Article

Passionate Sex Every Day for The New Year—Here is How

Three couples make the vow to relight their fires in January … but which of them can keep it?


MANY couples feel their sex life flagging after the festive season left them feeling tired, stressed, broke and overweight.

But the three here have made a New Year vow to relight their fires in January by making love every day.

DIANA APPLEYARD hears how they got it on, or not, during week one.


‘It’s passionate and wild and we both orgasm loudly before each collapsing in a heap’

HOUSEWIFE Heather Banks and her builder husband Wayne, both 39, have sons of six and four in Shepton Mallet, Somerset. Their busy life had seen them having sex weekly, if that. Here’s Heather’s take on their sexy 2016:

JAN 1: Both hung over, and I’m depressed about us both turning 40 this year and the fact I put on half a stone over Christmas. Wayne snuggles up to me to remind me of our pledge but I push him away. I feel fat and tired. But then I take a deep breath and pop open the top button of my nightie. That’s all Wayne needs and, as he buries his head in my breasts, I feel turned on. The act doesn’t last long but we feel much closer and later sleep in each other’s arms.

JAN 2: We are back on form, recovered from New Year. The kids are asleep by 8pm and, after a couple of glasses of wine, I go upstairs to get all dolled up, in sexy lingerie and full make-up. Wayne pulls out the sofa bed in the living room and, when I return, he is lying naked but for a giant foam finger protecting his modesty. I stifle a giggle then jump on him. There is not a lot of foreplay but it’s passionate and wild and we both orgasm loudly then each collapse in a satisfied heap.

JAN 3: Wayne makes dinner and I ask him to wear nothing but the apron. He’s got a great bum and treats me to a sexy dance. This time we focus on foreplay more. When we first got together, eight years ago, I impressed Wayne with my oral skills. Sadly, they got rusty. But tonight I’ve still got it. I pull tricks out of the bag from my student days, he’s groaning in ecstasy and I love the fact I can still turn him on. I pretend to be a porn star and my confidence grows. We have our best sex yet.

JAN 4: I am just not feeling it tonight. The kids go back to school tomorrow and, despite Wayne trying his hardest, I can’t stop my mind wandering. “Are the lunchboxes done? Did I set the alarm? Are the PE kits washed?” Wayne notices I’m distracted and it is made worse for both of us by the fact we’re trying to cut down on booze this month. We feel awkward. Eventually we have sex but it is an effort.

JAN 5: To get in the mood, we discuss other people who turn us on. Top for me is David Beckham, while Wayne astonishes me by saying he fancies Miranda Hart’s screen mum on her TV show. We also discuss fetishes that turn us on. We haven’t spoken like this for ages. The sex is great, fuelled by our fantasies.

JAN 6:Once Wayne’s on top of me and we really get going, I start talking dirty and it gets him even more aroused. I say things I’m going to do to him and what I want him to do to me. We both orgasm – then eat chocolate. Perfect.

JAN 7: Wayne comes home for lunch today, the kids are at school and . . . bingo! This week has put flirtation back in our marriage and I was sending him sexy texts all morning, teasing him about what I was going to do for him when he came home – and it did not involve shepherd’s pie. I even sent him pictures of sex toys I have ordered online. This is going to be quite a year.

— SHE SAYS: This has brought back the fun. We’ll definitely keep this up.

— HE SAYS: We’re back on track. But Heather is so kinky, I never know what she’ll suggest next. I’m excited but scared. I’ll just have to man up.

Be Proud of Your Body During Sex

Getting intimate is the high point of any relationship and the feeling after a good sexual encounter is what makes the moment even more beautiful.


But are we body positive and do we feel nice after an enjoyable act? We decode why it is important to feel good about your body and how it’s perfectly fine if you keep the lights on during the act.

Are you body positive?

The fact that you feel good about your body, despite its flaws is important. Stand in front of the mirror with nothing on, and make sure you look at your body very closely. See how you feel to know the answer. Factors that determine body positive sex

Unconditional love

It’s all about looking at each other beyond the physical, mental and social parameters. Mira Nehra, a relationship counsellor, says, “It is about making sure both the partners experience extreme pleasure while having sex, in spite of the several imperfections they have.”

Acceptance

With love comes acceptance. The fact that you know your partner has certain flaws and you still love him/her, determines body positive sex. Psychologist Raina Gopichand, feels that acceptance of one’s body is the biggest achievement in life. “We always strive to look our best. Hence, loving yourself is something that each one of us should practise. It helps us improve our confidence and the quality of our relationships, especially the quality of sex,” she adds.

Enjoying the act

If both the partners thoroughly enjoy lovemaking, then there is absolutely no scope of feeling awkward about their bodies. It is important to make each other feel comfortable while having sex. Foreplay is an important aspect here. Exploring each other’s body before the act helps you get into the comfort zone. “If both the partners derive immense pleasure while having sex, it does not leave a scope to find faults. In fact, it is not just about people who have imperfect bodies; it is about each one of us who aspire to have the perfect body to enjoy sex. Intimacy is not all about your body shape, it’s about how you feel during the act,” says sexologist Dr Rajan Bhonsle.

What is the movement about

This online movement hopes to convey what it means to be healthy. The movement also reinstates that body acceptance is not just about losing weight. It challenges stereotypes of what larger bodies can accomplish and that body acceptance is the recognition and celebration of your body.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

What is Your Couple Style… Emotional or?

When sex is going well in a couple’s relationship, it provides a positive influence that enhances each partner’s feelings of connection and vitality.


Conversely, when sex is avoided, dysfunctional or causes conflict, the couple may experience lack of desire and relationship instability. Understanding your Couple Sexual Style can help you to enjoy the benefits of shared pleasure, greater intimacy and the ability to withstand the pressures that threaten the marital bond.

Barry McCarthy, PhD., along with his wife, Emily, have written extensively on the subject of marital sex and have identified the four most common Couple Sexual Styles: Traditional, Best Friend, Emotionally Expressive and Complementary. No one style is right for all couples, and each has its benefits and challenges. Discovering your Couple Sexual Style can help you build desire and avoid the struggle over how you should be having sex. Let’s look at the four styles to determine which best describes you:

Traditional:

These couples follow a traditional pattern of male/female gender roles when it comes to the bedroom. The husband is the sexual initiator and focuses on intercourse frequency, while his wife is more concerned with feelings of affection and intimacy. These folks often value marital sex from a religious viewpoint and emphasize the importance of family and children. They know their sexual roles and rarely experience conflict regarding them.

Traditional couples may struggle when the wife’s need for intimacy and closeness feels ignored by the husband’s focus on intercourse. Additionally, as they grow older, the husband’s inability to produce spontaneous erections as he always had, may cause him to avoid sex altogether. This further reduces the intimate aspect of their connection, thereby leaving the wife to be further dissatisfied. In order to combat this problem, twice-yearly partners are responsible to plan a specific sexual encounter, designed to ignite their Traditional Style. The wife plans an erotic or sexually playful date where she can choose whether it will continue to orgasm or intercourse. For the husband’s date, he will engage in intimacy that does not proceed to intercourse or orgasm.

Best Friend:

Those couples with the Best Friend style are soul mates who feel quite loving towards one another, sharing good communication and intimacy. They report a sense of acceptance by their spouse and are often very affectionate. A crucial aspect of their relationship is mutuality, where they seek to have experiences together. Their secure emotional attachment is the strength of this couple and they feel well bonded.

Due to the closeness of this couple, they are prone to miss out on eroticism and the excitement that sex can add to their relationship. As best friends, they neglect the sexual aspect of couplehood, choosing to be emotionally close instead. When Best Friends do have sex, they seek to ensure both are in the mood and equally satisfied, which leads to lesser sexual encounters overall. They don’t take risks sexually, resulting in monotony and predictability. In order to overcome these issues, every six months each partner is responsible for suggesting a sexual date that is erotic for just one person. This encourages them to be sexy or playful without waiting for agreement from both parties, thus expanding their sexual repertoire and frequency.

Emotionally Expressive:

These couples have the wild, frequent, highly charged sex life that other couples envy. They reject the constraints of traditional rules around sex and are open to exploring new erotic activities to spice things up. Role-playing and pornography may be valued as a means to creative sexual expression. Sex soothes the pain of affairs or turbulent outbursts for these individuals.

The downside to this extremely emotive couple style is that eventually these folks can grow weary of all the drama. While they can use sex to kiss and make up, there may come a time when too many infidelities can finally take a toll on their relationship. When they have a negative sexual experience, Emotionally Expressive couples are apt to make hurtful comments that cause permanent damage out of frustration or anger. For this sexual style, it is critical to learn not to express oneself with a painful comment while lying in bed after an unsatisfying sexual encounter.

Complementary:

Favored by sex therapists, this couple sexual style is ideal because each partner knows their sexual voice and feels empowered to both make requests and decide not to engage, all the while seeing themselves as part of a sexual team. They value both eroticism and intimacy in their sexual encounters and feel being sexual to be a shared pleasure. These couples enjoy variable sexual options and are comfortable with an outcome that may only satisfy one partner, so long as it is not at the expense of the other.

The problem for Complementary couples is that they can neglect their sex life and fall into routines that become uninteresting, and sexuality falls to the wayside. Sex may work fine, but there is lack of desire due to monotony. The solution to their sexual rut is to encourage these couples to take turns initiating something new and fun to enliven their sex life.

After identifying the Couple Sexual Style that best describes the way you and your partner interact sexually, accentuate the strengths that enhance your relationship and be aware of the pitfalls that can diminish your sexual bond. To learn more, the McCarthy’s book, Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style, can increase your knowledge and provide useful tools to ensure that sex adds that positive boost to your partnership. You might also want to consult a sex therapist, specializing in sexuality issues, to rev up your sex life or resolve problems that hinder your connection. Remember that sex cannot be treated with benign neglect, but rather needs attention and intention to promote couple satisfaction in your relationship.


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Original Article

Could You Imagine Sex in Your Place of Worship? How Sex Inspired These Temples

What is Kama sutra?


The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Hindu text widely considered to be the standard work on human sexual behavior in Sanskrit literature written by Vātsyāyana. A portion of the work consists of practical advice on sexual intercourse. It is largely in prose, with many inserted anustubh poetry verses. “Kāma” which is one of the three goals of Hindu life, means sensual or sexual pleasure, and “sūtra” literally means a thread or line that holds things together, and more metaphorically refers to an aphorism (or line, rule, formula), or a collection of such aphorisms in the form of a manual.

kamasutra

Contrary to popular perception, especially in the western world, Kama sutra is not just an exclusive sex manual; it presents itself as a guide to a virtuous and gracious living that discusses the nature of love and other aspects pertaining to pleasure oriented faculties of human life.

kamasutra


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Original Video

Are You Just Scratching an Itch or Making Love? Find Out.

How do you know if you’re having SEX or ‘making LOVE’?


You wonder what difference it makes whether you call it making love or having sex. Well, if you really think, it makes a whole lot of difference. Having sex is just an act but making love is what puts soul, sense and gratification into that mere physical act. Moreover, sex can just be physically satisfying, but love-making is more soul enriching and makes you feel special and bonded to your partner.

Here are ten signs that can tell you how to differentiate between the two.

1. There is no foreplay: This is one element that makes your sex life either great or sucky. If foreplay is missing and you or your partner just wants to get into the main action, clearly you are not trying to bond but just satisfy your sudden sexual urge.

2. You don’t talk to each other: Dirty talk might not your forte, its okay. But if you fail to praise your partner or don’t whisper sweet nothings, your main action is going to be really dry and dull.

3. You are scared to talk about your fantasies: There is nothing vulgar between two people who are madly in love with each other and enjoy sex regularly. When in bed, modesty be damned, but if you are not able to talk or enact your fantasies, it clearly says that the action lacks love.

4. You don’t explore each other much: Not everyone gets aroused if you just touch down there. People have erogenous zones which remain unexplored most of the time. If your partner doesn’t make that extra effort to pleasure you and rushes into the act, then there is no question of lovemaking.

5. You want to get over the act really fast: A satisfying sex session isn’t about how long you spend time in bed but how well you bonded. At times, even quickies can be more satisfying if you both are in sync. But if you just want to rush into the act and finish it off, it is purely sex.

Is Pornography a Modern Crisis?

Pornography is becoming a primary sex educator for boys and young men, displacing explanations from parents, formal instruction in schools, and even conversations with peers.


A committee in the Utah legislature has voted to classify pornography as a public health crisis. Although this is merely a resolution and not a law, it could mark a new stage of awareness of the harms of pornography.

“Everything in the resolution is supported by science and research,” said the state senator who introduced the resolution, Todd Weiler. “It’s not just a kooky thing that some politician from Mormon Utah came up with. It’s bigger than that.”

The news was ridiculed across the internet and on social media by people who asserted that pornography is neither addictive nor harmful.

“I personally believe it is,” Weiler responded. “I think the science shows that it is. I believe that’s a discussion we should be having because it’s impacting divorces, it’s impacting our youth, it’s undermining the family”

“Public health crisis” is a term which has been used to describe Ebola, SARS, the Chinese milk scandal and smoking. Is porn really as destructive as these?

Pornography is a huge industry, although hard figures are difficult to obtain. According to a report in The Economist, there are possibly 700 to 800 million individual porn pages, 60 percent of them in the US. A portal for pornography, PornHub, claims that it had nearly 80 billion video viewings in 2014 and more than 18 billion visits.

It’s obvious that we live in a pornography-saturated culture. The figures vary from study to study but across national boundaries, the story is the same: young people are consuming lots of pornography. Michael Flood, an Australian researcher in the sociology of pornography, notes that in one Swedish study from 2007, 92 percent of young men and 57 percent of young women aged 15-18 had watched a “porno film”.

Sexless Relationship. Is It Ok?

As many as 40 million Americans in romantic relationships scant on sex — and some of them are perfectly happy with it. Here’s how to tell if your sexless marriage is healthy, or in need of some sizzle.


Tune into any TV show, the radio, or your Twitter feed, and the message is clear: If you’re in a relationship, you should be having hot, mind-blowing, on-top-of-the-table sex … all the time.

Yet research shows that 10 to 20 percent of romantic relationships in the United States are “sexless,” according to Robert Epstein, PhD, a San Diego-based research psychologist and founder and director emeritus of the Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies in Beverly, Mass. That accounts for about 40 million people in the United States.

And that may be an underestimate, because people are reluctant to ‘fess up about no-sex relationships. Because of society’s obsession with sex, some couples feel ashamed to admit that they’re not experiencing a certain level of sexual frequency or satisfaction.

In fact, one survey found that 30 percent of male participants in their 40s and 34 percent in their 50s who were in a relationship hadn’t had sex the previous year. For women in their 40s and 50s, about 21 percent reported no sex with their partner in the previous year.

So what’s really going on in America’s bedrooms?

What ‘Sexless’ Really Means

Technically, a sexless relationship is defined as when a couple has sex less than once a month or less than 10 times a year, says Dr. Epstein.

What does that mean for your relationship? One thing is for sure — it doesn’t mean your relationship lacks love, says Jennifer Freed, PhD, marriage and family therapist in private practice in Santa Barbara, Calif. She estimates that about 5 to 7 percent of the couples she sees in her practice are perfectly happy in their sexless marriages.

If you’re in a sexless relationship, the main thing you should ask yourself is: Are you and your partner content about not having sex?

The Birds and the Bees …Has Adult Content Become the Tutor?

THE other day, I got an email from a 21-year-old college senior about sex — or perhaps more correctly, about how ill equipped she was to talk about sex.


The abstinence-only curriculum in her middle and high schools had taught her little more than “don’t,” and she’d told me that although her otherwise liberal parents would have been willing to answer any questions, it was pretty clear the topic made them even more uncomfortable than it made her.

So she had turned to pornography. “There’s a lot of problems with porn,” she wrote. “But it is kind of nice to be able to use it to gain some knowledge of sex.”

I wish I could say her sentiments were unusual, but I heard them repeatedly during the three years I spent interviewing young women in high school and college for a book on girls and sex. In fact, according to a survey of college students in Britain, 60 percent consult pornography, at least in part, as though it were an instruction manual, even as nearly three-quarters say that they know it is as realistic as pro wrestling. (Its depictions of women, meanwhile, are about as accurate as those of the “The Real Housewives” franchise.)

The statistics on sexual assault may have forced a national dialogue on consent, but honest conversations between adults and teenagers about what happens after yes — discussions about ethics, respect, decision making, sensuality, reciprocity, relationship building, the ability to assert desires and set limits — remain rare. And while we are more often telling children that both parties must agree unequivocally to a sexual encounter, we still tend to avoid the biggest taboo of all: women’s capacity for and entitlement to sexual pleasure.

It starts, whether intentionally or not, with parents. When my daughter was a baby, I remember reading somewhere that while labeling infants’ body parts (“here’s your nose,” “here are your toes”), parents often include a boy’s genitals but not a girl’s. Leaving something unnamed, of course, makes it quite literally unspeakable.

Nor does that silence change much as girls get older. President Obama is trying — finally — in his 2017 budget to remove all federal funding for abstinence education (research has shown repeatedly that the nearly $2 billion spent on it over the past quarter-century may as well have been set on fire). Yet according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, fewer than half of high schools and only a fifth of middle schools teach all 16 components the agency recommends as essential to sex education. Only 23 states mandate sex ed at all; 13 require it to be medically accurate.

Even the most comprehensive classes generally stick with a woman’s internal parts: uteruses, fallopian tubes, ovaries. Those classic diagrams of a woman’s reproductive system, the ones shaped like the head of a steer, blur into a gray Y between the legs, as if the vulva and the labia, let alone the clitoris, don’t exist. And whereas males’ puberty is often characterized in terms of erections, ejaculation and the emergence of a near-unstoppable sex drive, females’ is defined by periods. And the possibility of unwanted pregnancy. When do we explain the miraculous nuances of their anatomy? When do we address exploration, self-knowledge?

I Haven’t Lost My Virginity

When one person “loses” while another one “takes,” is it any surprise why so many of us feel shame years after that disappointing first time? 


It’s awkward to think about the first time. Some people are lucky enough to have become sexually active in a pleasurable way, but I didn’t. And I know I’m not alone. Most of us don’t talk about it, and a lot of us try not to think about it, either. But when my mind wanders back in time, why do I feel so ashamed?

It was consensual, I will say that. But saying “yes” to sex often means accepting what comes with it – whether it’s good, or bad.

It’s true that the way you lose your virginity can become the initial blueprint for a lot of sexual experiences afterwards. Emotional scars may resurface years later in the form of shame, blame, and fear. Both men and women blush when recalling that uncomfortable first time. It was the best of times, or (more likely) the worst.

It’s been nearly a decade since my first sexual experience. I’ve matured a lot, since then. You’d think I’d have moved on by now, and I thought I had. But sometimes, in vulnerable moments, I find myself still mourning that younger version of me.

  1. Did I “give it up” too soon?
  2. Have I truly lost my innocence?
  3. Or am I subscribing to an outdated rule that keeps women (and men) from owning themselves?

….I’m going with number 3. Here’s why.

“Virgin,” is a word usually used to describe someone who has not yet had sex. But according to the dictionary, virgin also means “not yet touched, used, or exploited.” As a young girl, I was told to “save it” for marriage. I was led to believe that if I had sex, I would be losing my innocence. As a girl, I was supposed to be a delicate flower, whose value diminished with the opening of her petals.

To “lose my virginity,” (in this old way of thinking) meant that I was giving my body to a man solely for his pleasure. “Losing it” meant that I would be used up, damaged, and degraded. My partner would be “taking” my virginity, and in essence, stealing my worth.

Don’t Want to Fight? Tips from Couples Who Don’t

I sometimes like to think of these people as lucky, but really they’re just smart. They approach their relationship the right way, and because of it are extremely happy.


Likely you know at least one couple that you sometimes look at and think, “How are they so happy together all the time? Do they know a secret that I don’t?” Chances are, they might. It’s quite possible that very couple practices some habits of couples who never fight, and therefore are as happy as could be with each other. If you’re in a relationship where fighting happens every day, take a breeze through this article and check out the helpful hints as to why some couples never fight. It could end up changing the way you approach your relationship, especially if your partner is on board with making a few changes as well.

Let’s be honest — it’s doubtful there has ever in the creation of time been a long-term couple who hasn’t gotten into at least a teeny disagreement. It’s just impractical to think partners will see eye-to-eye on everything all the time. However, there are the blessed individuals who are in a relationship where varying views on things are discussed rationally, rather than through arguments. I sometimes like to think of these people as lucky, but really they’re just smart. They approach their relationship the right way, and because of it are extremely happy. They might be making us all jealous, but perhaps we can emulate what they’re doing and get to that happy place ourselves, too.

For those who want to increase that happiness in their relationships, here are six habits of couples who never fight for you and your partner to try on for size.

1. They Prioritize Each Other

Of course, having career goals and aspirations is incredibly important; however, happy couples know that they also need to make their partner something of importance in their life as well, according to Relevant Magazine.The outlet said that happy couples know that even when they’re stretched for time, the one area they won’t cut back on is spending time with their partner. As with many things in life, relationships require the right kind of nurturing.

2. They Compliment Each Other

You know what the couples who aren’t fighting are spending their words on? Compliments. First off, anyone knows getting a compliment from anyone makes you feel good (and is a mega-ego booster), but when it comes from your partner it can feel even better. According to PsychCentral.com, telling your partner how amazing they are is a bona fide way to keep you happy — and avoid unnecessary fighting. According to the article by social worker Marcia Naomi Berger, “compliments set a positive tone for collaborative discussion.” Also, it helps encourage each partner to do nice things for each other, another major bonus.

3. They Practice Forgiveness Regularly

The motto here is forgive and forget, according to Real Simple. The outlet cited forgiveness as one of the main things practiced by happy couples. It makes sense — the more you hold on to anger the more it seems to boil up, which would lead to a potentially explosive fight. Forgiving quickly and moving on seems much better all around.

4. They’re Touchy-Feely

It’s been said time and time again that couples who show affection are the happiest. According to Psychology Today, happy couples prioritize emotional and physical intimacy — even things as simple as holding hands or hugging. Happy couples, the outlet said, are the ones who often express affection in gestures (and in words, too, like the compliments we discussed).

5. They Make Sex A Regular Thing

You know when people say, “Sex isn’t everything”? Well, they are semi-correct in that it’s not everything, but it surely is important in terms of happiness. According to an analysis reported on by Reader’s Digest, 60 percent of extremely happy couples have sex three or four times a week. Yes, this includes people who have been married for decades.

6. They Communicate

Communication is top of the chain in regards to having a healthy and happy relationship — and a good way to prevent fighting, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). This communication between happy couples runs across all topics, from daily household responsibilities to personal subjects like work, to things that might seem difficult to talk about. The APA said bottling up emotions and feelings can lead to resentment (and you guessed it, big fights). Also worth noting is that those in happy and healthy relationships, according to APA, are kind when communicating, and avoid negative communication patterns like anger.

If your relationship is littered with arguments, consider implementing some of these habits as a means of cutting back the fights. You and your SO might be able to turn it all around, and reach that truly happy place where arguments rarely exist.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Can You Guess? What Times We All Like to Have Sex

There’s no right or wrong time to have sex, but for whatever reason, certain days and times seem to be more popular than others.


In fact, according to a survey by the married dating site IllicitEncounters.com, there’s one time that everyone seems to be rallying around: 10:24 P.M. on Saturday nights.

It’s not too surprising, really. People don’t usually have work the next morning and couples are getting back from date nights or wrapping up romantic nights in. Whatever the reason, that’s what the survey of 1,000 couples found. People also said they hit their peak arousal at 5:35 P.M. on Saturdays, which means they must be waiting five long hours.

Generally, Saturdays were the most popular day of the week to have sex, with 42 percent of respondents saying it’s their favorite day for the activity. The least popular was Mondays, with only 1 percent of couples preferring it.

It also looks like sex drives vary by season, with 62 percent preferring to get busy in the summer, despite research suggesting higher temperatures can actually hinder our sex lives. Only four percent cited fall as their favorite time of year to get it on, and despite its reputation as “cuffing season” and its popularity among online daters, winter was the chosen season of only 20 percent of people.

For many couples, though, the timing of sex is just a matter of convenience: 45 percent said they literally schedule it to make sure they have the time. Hey, whatever works. You might even want to try scheduling it for 10:24 P.M. next Saturday to see what all the fuss is about.


Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How P*rn is Like Drugs

“Porn is all of the sex — without the body… It gives you every aspect of a sexual encounter without the physical touch or the smells.” – Dr. William Struthers


GREENSBORO, N.C. — Top medical researchers explained earlier this month at a pastors gathering in North Carolina how pornography use physically affects the human brain, revealing information not well-known outside of the medical and scientific communities.

“Porn is all of the sex — without the body,” Dr. William Struthers, a professor of neuroscience and psychology at Wheaton College in Chicago, told TheBlaze. “It gives you every aspect of a sexual encounter without the physical touch or the smells.”

During his presentation at the event, dubbed “The Set Free Summit,” Struthers explained and elaborated on many topics, from how the human brain changes under repeated pornography use to how the brain naturally has its own “mirroring” effect to how natural bodily hormones — such as oxytocin — can bond a person to pixels on a screen.

In a sit-down interview with TheBlaze, Struthers revealed why a person can become addicted to pornography.

“When we talk about pornography as a drug, we’ve really got the cart before the horse. Really, the only reason why any drugs are addictive is that they act on the brain’s natural pleasure systems,” he said. “Sex is a great example of what the brain is made for when it comes to pleasure. Sex is very pleasurable for human beings the majority of the time.”

“The brain has these natural pleasure circuits — these circuits that are designed to give us the feeling of closeness, of excitement, of love — and so the only reason why these drugs, like crack, morphine, methamphetamine, or any of those have any pleasurable consequences at all is because they act on these natural systems that are already there,” Struthers continued. “So a better way to talk about heroin is that heroin is actually injected orgasm.”

Here’s the Hidden Meanings of Women’s Sounds During Sex

Does sex feel different based on the amount of noise you make? Here’re the true reasons behind why women moan during sex.


A couple of nights a week, I hear my next door neighbor having sex. At first, I honestly thought it was one of her little yappy dogs barking, but then I realized it was her moaning in pleasure. I could also hear her boyfriend smacking her on the ass, making her moan even more. It occurs to me that yelling, “Who’s your daddy?!” through the wall would be a bit inappropriate, although highly tempting, so I usually just bang on the wall a couple of times after they’ve finished their noisy sex and begun their noisy arguing. It seems to be their rhythm.

I also wonder if they ever hear me having sex on those rare occasions I get laid.

Do I moan? Yes. Do they hear it? I have no idea. But the real question is: Even if they do hear it, could I NOT moan? What causes women to moan when they have sex?

I’ve narrowed it down to these 10 reasons. While I know I’m probably missing a reason or two, this list is based on personal experience and interviews with other moaning women. I did not interview my neighbor; that would be awkward. Take a look at this list and see if one of these numbers is yours.

1. Automatic Response to Pleasure

One of the most common reasons women moan during sex is simply because it’s an automatic response to pleasure. Just like sighing when you sink into a hot tub, the pleasure you get from sex can cause an audible and involuntary response.

2. Automatic Response to Pain

Of course, women also moan in pain. If your man is going a little too rough, or he’s hitting that place inside you that feels uncomfortable, or even if you’ve suddenly developed a leg cramp, you’re just as likely to moan in response to pain during sex just as you are in response to pleasure during sex.

3. To Increase Your Libido

It’s hard to move past the day and get over the stress of real life. Even during sex, some of those emotions can seep into your brain, or you could just be so overwhelmed with things to do that you’re busy concentrating on the grocery list and not the sex. Moaning is a way of getting your head back in the game so to speak. By moaning, you take your mind off your chores and put it back into the sex where it belongs—which is exactly where it should be.