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T&A IN BED WITH Jayson Thibault from Punch Drunk Sports Podcast

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A hop in bed with Jayson to ask him personal questions, and he sure delivers honest answers – so fun! 

t&a in bed

Wow, we totally had a show topic for this week- and then Jayson Thibault from Punch Drunk Sports happened! Which made for an epic episode. His candid discussion about all things relationships, sex, family, and growing up with lesbian parents bring us to a higher level of honesty! How does a young boy growing up with all women affect him as a man? How does T growing up with her father affect her as a grown woman? A shares her personal story about her mom’s ovarian cancer, and how she handled the experience. And so much more real talk happens in this episode. Enjoy!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tatalksex/2016/10/20/why-waste-87-laps-around-the-sun-jayson-thibault-speaks-his-truth

Here’s What Not to Do In the Bedroom

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

You probably didn’t need a study to tell you this, but research confirms that sex is one of the ingredients that’s most crucial to making long-term relationships thrive. Early on, feeling sexy and passionate isn’t hard—but things can get trickier as the years go on. Hoping to bust out of a dry spell or prevent those embers from fading? Don’t make these common mistakes.

Mistake #1: Thinking you need a “date night” to connect

If you’re like most couples, the first thing you do when you want to reconnect with your partner is put a “date night” on the calendar. “The idea is that after a fancy dinner, candlelight, and wine, you’ll come home and want to jump each other,” says Tammy Nelson, PhD, a sex and relationship therapist and author of The New Monogamy. But what really happens after a meal of rich food, a few glasses of wine, and a late night out? “Most couples want nothing more than to go to sleep,” Nelson points out.

The fix:

Send the kids out while you and your partner stay home alone. “Think of this as a sacred time for the two of you to practice ‘planned’ spontaneity,” Nelson suggests. “It’s a much better way to act out all of your fantasies, without feeling bloated and hungover the next day.”

Mistake #2: Forgoing sex because you’re not in the mood

“Having a grown-up life is exhausting, and stress and fatigue can decrease desire,” acknowledges Nelson. But if you wait to have sex until you have plenty of free time and boundless energy, you may be waiting a long time.

Plus, “for many people, particularly women, desire comes after arousal, not the other way around,” Nelson notes. “That means once your body is sufficiently aroused, you may find you are more into sex than you realized.”

The fix:

Just do it, and you’ll probably be glad that you did. If you’re genuinely crazed from obligations and short on time, you can still fit in a quickie, says Nelson. “The sexual contact will make you feel connected to your partner and can reduce the stress in your marriage.” Sex also helps release endorphins and dopamine, serotonin, and other brain chemicals that can reduce your stress during the day and help you sleep better at night.

Mistake #3: Falling into a rut

There’s something to be said for sex so familiar that you can anticipate what’s coming next. “Each of you knows the buttons to push for the other, and if you have a routine that’s giving the other a good orgasm, then by all means, keep at it,” says Nelson. That’s said, it’s not uncommon for couples to get entrenched in habits that aren’t working. They just aren’t sure how to change them or worry that speaking up will hurt the other’s feelings.

The fix:

“Pick one day a week to do something different,” suggests Nelson, “maybe a morning or an afternoon when you have more leisure time to expand on the erotic connection in your relationship.” Start by telling your partner three things you appreciate about him sexually, plus one bedroom move you’d like more of. Then listen as your partner does the same.

“Talking about sex can increase the sexual tension between you, and if you do this exercise in bed, it can really turn up the heat,” Nelson says.

Mistake #4: Worrying how your sex life stacks up

From leaked sex tapes to the latest episode of Game of Thrones, we’re inundated with sexual images—which can put an outsized amount of pressure on us to look or act a certain way in the bedroom. “Sex isn’t supposed to look like porn,” says Amy Levine, a sex coach in New York City and founder of IgniteYourPleasure.com. “Sex in real life can be awkward, takes practice, and has the potential to be incredibly intimate and vulnerable.”

The fix:

Be open-minded, Levine says. “Be present, know what feels good to you, communicate your wants and desires, be yourself, and find your confidence.” In other words, approach sex with your partner, she says, “without judgment or expectations.”

Mistake #5: Taking your emotional connection for granted

When was the last time you really spoke to your partner, other than to confirm what’s for dinner or who’s on duty to pick up the kids after soccer practice? Thanks to hectic, overscheduled days, the majority of time we spend with our partners takes place when we’re asleep, notes Paul Hokemeyer, PhD, a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York City. “But quality relationships require an intimate emotional connection during awake times,” he says.

The fix:

Carve out 30 minutes of connection with your partner before shutting your eyes, Hokemeyer advises. “Turn off all electronics and snuggle or discuss the events of the day.” And while you love your kids (or the family pet) dearly, having them around at this time will “squeeze out the romance,” he notes. “Set clear boundaries and enforce them.”

Mistake #6: Not talking about sex

“The inability to have open and honest communication is at the heart of many couples’ problems in the bedroom,” says Elona Landau, a sex educator in Portland, Oregon. “Even with the people to whom we’re committed, we can’t openly talk about our wants, desires, and needs.” We either never learned how, she says, or keep quiet for fear of being judged, shamed, or shut down.

The fix:

Your partner isn’t a mind-reader, and neither are you. Want to have sex more often, try something new, or have concerns about your waning libido? Speak up. Meanwhile, ask your partner to weigh in on the state of your physical union. Just as relationships grow and evolve over time, so does your sexuality.

“Listen with ‘fresh ears’ and try to hear what your partner wants without putting it through your own filter,” says Landau. Pay attention to how you’re responding, whether you’re intrigued, uncomfortable, or somewhere else on the spectrum—and approach that with curiosity as well. “Being willing to hear the other person, acknowledge their vulnerability, and be empathetic to their needs can go a long way.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

T&A IN BED WITH Lora of Between the Sheets with Lora Somoza

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A hop in bed with Lora from the podcast Between The Sheets with Lora Somoza. She answers some silly questions with honesty and humor about sex and her preferences!

t&a in bed

On the Podcast:

Giving Thanks for Vibrators, Small Breasts, Big Lips, and Daddy Issues Ep.121
It’s Thanksgiving week, which means time for T&A to reflect on all the things they’re grateful for this year- the not so suitable for the dinner table things. Lora Somoza from the podcast, ‘Between the Sheets with Lora Somoza’ joins this roundtable chat which sparks scintilating conversation on vibrators, masturbation, their body issues growing up as kids and even some deeper family issue stuff. Fun and entertaining, yet always deep, Happy Thanksgiving from T&A!

Thx guys!
C

T&A Talk Sex – In Bed with Trisha Hershberger

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A hop in bed with Trisha Hershberger (from her Youtube series, The Naked Truth) to find out more about her relationships, favorite sex positions, and what’s it like to have sex with a baby growing inside!

Check out our 2017 New Year episode with Sina Amedson and Trisha Hershberger about what we learned in 2016 about relationships and what we plan do do differently in 2017. Episode 127! How will you make your relationship better in 2017? Podcast here

http://www.tatalksex.com/

Defining Your Normal: Some Like Having It a Lot and Some Don’t

by zfortadminin Sex

Society, the media, politicians, and religions are often obsessed with sex as an idea – not as it really happens in the flesh.

The idea of sex is most often portrayed in extremes.

Sex is, at times, depicted as a sure path to unwanted pregnancy, STIs, and hellfire.

At the other end of the spectrum, sex is portrayed as the core motivation for all human pursuits, selling everything from cologne to makeup to magical weight loss yogurt, because it’s that amazing and vital!

The reality of sex is that some people have it, some people don’t, some people have lots of it, some people have little of it, and life doesn’t revolve around avoiding it or chasing it.

The reality is that there is no such thing as a “normal” sex life, even though sex in and of itself is a normal part of life.

All that being said, it probably doesn’t deserve nearly the amount of attention it gets from all of us.

And I’m including feminists in that “all of us” because both here at Everyday Feminism and out there in the broader feminist world, we talk about sex a lot.

And rightly so! There are plenty of questions to be asked about what most of us have been conditioned to believe is normal or right when it comes to sex.

And some of the assumptions we should challenge are that sex is necessarily a part of a healthy, socially acceptable, and liberated life.

In other words, the pressure that we get from the outside world to pursue the idea of sex can be as damaging to our culture and self-esteem as the shame many women receive for being sexual on their own terms.

It’s a damned if you do it, damned if you don’t situation.

And folks who aren’t having sex or don’t want to – be they asexual, abstinent, low libido, triggered by sex, medically unable, and so on – may find themselves alienated by the ways sex gets inadvertently (or purposefully) pushed down our throats.

Peer pressure, well-meaning doctors and therapists, spouses, this article (how many times have I used the word “sex” at this point?) – they can all send the message that having a sex life is always the healthy, sociable, regular thing to do.

If a person desires sex, pursues sex, and has sex with someone else who wants to, then great.

But what if a person who is less than enthusiastic about sex pursues it only to fulfill a social expectation, only because they’ve been perversely sexualized from a young age, or only because they view being sexual as central to their own self-worth and self-identity?

Not great.

In fact, any time our culture imposes a “should” on us – women should be adventurous to “keep” their men, men should be virulent, we should not die virgins, all romantic relationships should also be sexual – there’s a problem.

Sex Is Not a ‘Should’

There is no obligation ever to have sex for any reason.

Not when you’re 15 and think everyone else is doing it (they’re not), not when you’re 21 and think everyone else is doing it (they’re not), and not when you’re 45 and think everyone else has done it (they haven’t).

My point here is that regardless of a person’s sexual orientation or lack thereof, sex isn’t about anyone else’s expectations. There doesn’t have to be shame around being uninterested, celibate, or emotionally unprepared for sex at any age.

That’s because sex is not a spectator sport (unless that’s what you’re into). It’s about the pleasure, desire, and experience of the people having the sex, not the prevailing assumptions of the people around them.

The same goes for people who deny others sexual orientations based on what kind of sex they’ve had.

No, lesbians and gay men don’t have to sample the opposite sex to know their orientation, nor do they have to have sex at all. The “how can you know unless you’ve tried” line of reasoning is like casting the first stone – only the person who’s tried it all is allowed to say it to anyone.

Sex Isn’t Super Amazing for Everyone

The other thing about sex is that it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

Some people may find it pretty neat, but otherwise not see what the big fuss is about. Others are completely uninterested. And though there are those whose lack of interest comes from trauma or medical issues, they aren’t the only people who aren’t into sex.

I distinctly remember that after going through sex education as an adolescent, I walked away with the assumption that every person who crossed over to the other side of puberty experienced sexual attraction.

So if I’d have heard about someone who said “meh” to sex, my assumption also would have been that there was something medically or mentally wrong with them. And if that medical or mental problem were fixed, sexual desire would return.

The problem with that line of thinking is that it pathologizes a low or nonexistent desire for sex, even one with no apparent cause. And it paints the picture of the sexually interested person as necessarily more healthy and whole.

Though sex can definitely be part of wellness for someone who is sexual, the insinuation that those who want it less are missing a fundamental part of their humanity can be problematic.

Sex Is Important – But It’s Not

It’s really not that big of a deal.

As wrapped up as the media and advertisers are with sex, it isn’t central to what makes people worthwhile, attractive, and interesting human beings.

We need to reject the idea of sex, which dictates that Hollywood actresses are overly airbrushed and barely employable once they’re past a certain age. The idea of sex is obsessed with youth, the male gaze, a lack of agency, a link between a person’s value and how much they are valued as sexual objects.

In reality, our worth as human beings is related to things much bigger than our sexualities. It’s a part of us, but it’s not as much of us as we sometimes believe.

So it’s all right to not give a damn about being sexual on someone else’s schedule. Or ever.

Having sex is not obligatory, nor does it lead to the ultimate state of bliss. It’s neither as ideal nor as demonic as some would have you believe.

There also isn’t one way to experience it.

Not everyone is as capable of orgasm or sexual attraction as the next person, and that’s okay.

There is no one way to experience sexuality, and attempts to shame or stigmatize people for a lack of sex or attraction, even indirectly, are fraught with assumptions about how things “should” be.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

T&A Talk Sex: In Bed with Comedian Malie Mason

by T A Talk Sexin Sex, Watch

In this podcast episode, Malie Mason guest cohosts with Christina Hepburn (aka T), as we talk with Bryony Cole from the Future of Sex podcast about …the future of sex and technology!

t&a in bed

Where’s it all going? Do these toys improve or hurt our sex lives? And how can we integrate sex tech into our lives for the better? Laugh, listen, and learn with these dames!

Find all of our videos, podcasts, blogs, & more: http://www.tatalksex.com/

Why the Greeks Have More Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Greece has been revealed to rank atop the list of the world’s most sexually active nations, averaging 164 sessions a year, or more than three times a week, German newspaper Bild reports.

According to an international survey by a condom manufacturer, which is published by the German tabloid, Greeks are far ahead of Brazil, which ranks second with 145 times a year, followed by Russia and Poland with 143 times a year.

The chilliest citizens on the planet are found to be the Japanese, who have sex a meager 48 times a year, or less than once a week.

The world average is 103 times per year, or just less than twice a week.

According to the survey, having sex isn’t of the same importance all around the world, as 80 percent of Greeks find having sex very important, and top the list again, opposed to citizens of Thailand, only 38 percent of whom believe that sex is important.

Greeks also score high in reference to duration of sexual intercourse, ranking second with 22.3 minutes on average, following Nigeria in first place with 24 minutes.

The top 10 most sexually active countries are:

Greece: 164
Brazil: 145
Russia: 143
Poland: 143
India: 130
Mexico: 123
Switzerland: 123
China: 122
New Zealand: 122
Italy: 121

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Size Never Matters, Trust Me.

by Amy Albertin Sex

Mark had established a bit of a reputation for himself within the small window of time that he was employed at this restaurant as quite the Lothario because of the fact that he was blessed with what was rumored to be a huge penis.

When I was in my early 20’s I spent a summer waitressing at this sweet, kitschy restaurant in the Bay Area when out of nowhere the guy I had been dating, who I was utterly obsessed with, dumped me. I was crushed! Like, “broken, crying in a Target dressing room, writing shitty sad songs on my guitar that I could barely play, watching back-to-back Ally McBeal episodes to cope” crushed. A bartender, who we’ll call Mark, had been working there for a couple of months, and even though I wasn’t attracted to him, I liked the attention he gave me was, for all intents and purposes, totally harmless. Mark had established quite the reputation for himself within the small window of time that he was employed at this restaurant as quite the Lothario because of the fact that he was blessed with what was rumored to be a huge penis. One of the women who was supposedly impressed with it described it as “a baby’s arm holding an apple” and another called it the “anaconda”. My best gay friend who worked with me would constantly ask questions about said “huge” penis after it was revealed that one of our co-workers would have a run-in with it. He loved hearing all the dirty details about this guys wang. I would laugh and gasp and feign being all into it as they would describe every curve and angle of this man’s anatomy, but really it sort of grossed me out! Why would I want something described as an infant’s appendage grasping a piece of fruit anywhere near my vag? Ew!

As the end of my shift rolled around one eve a couple of weeks after me getting dumped I was glumly cashing out my checks for the night at the kitschy bar of the kitschy restaurant. Mark made me a drink and asked what was going on. I told him how I was heartbroken and just destroyed about it. I confessed that I thought I was in love with this guy, and when I learned that he was seeing someone else the entire time we were dating I was so humiliated! Mark listened intently to my sob story, nodding at the appropriate times while refilling my glass when it got half empty.

About an hour and a half and two thirds into my third drink later, he gently tucked my hair behind my ear and said, “You know, I have a great way to get you over that guy.” He smiled and suddenly looked very cute to me. I laughed awkwardly and told him I didn’t want to mess up our friendship. He agreed, but said he was always available to me if I ever wanted to “have the best night of my life.”

“It’s the only sure fire way to move on, in my opinion. I’ll rock your world, I promise.”

I excused myself to the bathroom and stood at the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I had never really done anything like that before, just slept with a guy to make myself feel better. But…maybe he was right? Surely a guy who’s confident like that must be great in bed! Maybe this guy’s legendary dick would be just the elixir to cure my blues! Maybe I was about to have the best freakin’ night of my life and my world rocked! So I marched out to the bar, grabbed my bag and told him I would follow him home.

45 minutes later I’m at Mark’s apartment and we’re making out in his kitchen. We had a little trouble getting on the same page in terms of the kissing, but I figured I was a little tipsy, and he could be too, so maybe that was it. Then he takes my hand and leads me into his bedroom, which had posters of girls with huge hair in ripped half tops with the bottom of their nipples hanging out, like he was 15. “Well”, I thought, “he clearly likes girls, so that’s good!” We start getting undressed and I noticed that he ripped his clothes off with such enthusiasm that he reminded me of a little kid tearing into a Christmas gift. He turns around to face me and I see it. The “Baby’s arm holding an apple”. The “Anaconda”. This “huge” penis. And it’s pointed right at me. Watching me. I felt like if I tried to move around the room it would follow me, like the Mona Lisa.

We get into bed and he immediately mounts me without any warning or foreplay. Just in a, “Hello, welcome to my body weight pressing the breath out of you because women think being crushed is super hot!” type of way. His face was right on my face smashed together, which felt way too intimate for the moment, and now that I think of it is probably way too intimate for any moment ever. He asks me if I’m “good and ready”, to which I reply with a “yup” that I wheezed out because I couldn’t breathe due to his man body carelessly draped across mine, and a thumbs up, always an appropriate way to start sex when you’re getting ready to have the” best night of your life!”

Then it “started” And by that I mean a solid 20 minutes of him grunting and sweating on me while his giant penis went from an “Anaconda” to one of those balloon dudes who alert people to a sale or a new car wash after they had been deflated and were just weirdly flopping around with the wind. He kept slapping it on my thigh, squeezing his eyes shut and whispering, “Come on, man!” to whom I can only assume was his penis.

At one point he abruptly stood up and went over to the corner of his bedroom, like a scene out of The Blair Witch Project, where he got really quiet. I figured he trying to reason with it, talk it out like bros. When he returned to his bed, which didn’t have a fitted sheet by the way, there was a glimmer of hope in his eye, so I assumed they had worked out their differences and were ready to proceed as scheduled. Unfortunately it appeared that the penis and the man were on two different pages completely that evening.

Eventually I told him I had to go. “Early morning.” I said, like I was a regretful fella dressed in a cheap suit in an 80’s movie who just cheated on his wife with his best friends fiancé, “Gotta get my beauty sleep.” I got up and started to get dressed as fast as I could. I didn’t feel the need to hang out and make it even more uncomfortable than it was. He just lay in his bed on his side with his head propped up in his hand, nodding and telling me he “had to get up early too, so it was probably a good move to hit the sack.” I pulled on my shoes and waved goodbye and I exited his place so quickly I practically left a cartoon puff of smoke in my wake. I walked to my car noting to myself that in the future I should ask what one’s definition of rocking a world is, because I probably would’ve taken a rain check in this case.

The next day as I rolled silverware Mark noticed me and sat down at the booth. He casually mentioned that he had a “good time” the night before, but this time when he smiled he had reverted back to the version of himself that I didn’t find attractive at all. He asked me if I’d like to come by for “a little round two action”, which I politely declined. He told me that if I ever needed him again, I knew his number. “Oh, I got your number alright, stud.” I said under my breath as he walked away.

He walked back to the bar where he immediately started putting the moves on a woman sitting there alone,  and I realized that for the first time in a while I wasn’t bummed about the guy who dumped me. And while he certainly didn’t rock my world, or give me the best night of my life, I realized in that moment that I appreciated him and his baby’s arm for taking my mind off things and giving me a pretty decent bad sex story to write about many years later.

Are You Being Denied Foreplay?

by zfortadminin Sex

Sex is amazing, right? Well, yes. But sex isn’t one thing. Sex is lots of things.

Sex can mean a passionate kiss, with your bodies pressed up against each other in a hallway; it can me him in your mouth, or you in his; it can be hours of penetration or the lightest touch in the right place. Or any combination. And lots of others. But for this reader, sex is only one thing, and it’s getting a little tiring.

*I have been dating this guy for a few months now and it’s been wonderful…except for when it’s time to get intimate. He wants to go straight into sex and no foreplay whatsoever. Each time I’ve tried to initiate it, he would say “Babe, you are my girl, you don’t have to do that.” Overall that’s sweet I guess but than the problem is, I don’t get oral (he mentioned a time that he did it on a girl and the girls odor/taste that he could not handle). How or what can I do to make him feel comfortable with me to eventually perform oral sex before the actual sex? *—Foreplay Deprived

One reason sex can’t be one thing is because it’s not the same thing for everyone. That means we have to compromise. When we’re lucky enough to meet someone with the exact same sexual interests as ours, those compromises tend to be minimal: sometimes she gets to be on top when you want to be; sometimes he gets to come first; etc.

In this situation, BF isn’t really meeting anyone halfway, he’s just getting exactly what he wants. Not fair. Many of the women I know, most of them in fact, have difficulty coming without some form of clitoral stimulation, before or during. By your guy denying you foreplay, he’s basically saying “only I get to come,” which is obviously not ideal.

Sounds like he had a bad experience once with giving head and has decided it’s not for him. That’s like having a bad first day of school and deciding that education is for other people. I think you should ask him to consider trying again.

If he’s really dead-set against it, you can remind him that there are other ways to have fun before penetration: fingers, licking other parts of you, playing with toys, etc.

The most important thing is to let him know that what’s going on isn’t fair. He’ll probably change his tune. If he doesn’t, then you have an issue that actually has nothing to do with sex.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Time for a Paint Job? What Bedroom Color is Best for Getting Turned On

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS

Look to surprising revelations about bedroom wall colors to get more of what you want

More sleep and more sex? Yes, please! A new survey involving 2,000 Brits shows a strong correlation between the color of your bedroom walls and decor with how much sleep and sex you’re having. The takeaway: People with blue rooms appear to be getting the best night’s sleep, while people with caramel-colored walls are having the most sex. Let the mad dash to invent caramel-blue paint begin!

Here’s how the survey breaks it down.

Of course, you don’t see much color with your eyes closed and the lights off, but the color of your walls and decor affects how you sleep before you close your eyes, the survey found.

On average, the survey respondents sleeping in a blue bedroom get seven hours and 52 minutes of sleep, the most in the survey, which was conducted by Travelodge, a budget-friendly hotel chain in the U.K. Builders, teachers and civil servants tend to choose blue most often for their bedrooms, according to the survey.

The study surmises that since blue has long been associated with feelings of calmness — water, blue sky etc. — the color helps us chill out before sleep.

In fact, blue also is said to help reduce blood pressure and heart rate, for more sound sleep.

“This is an amazing result, as there are specialized receptors called ganglion cells in the retina part of our eyes, which are most sensitive to the color blue,” says Chris Idzikowski, a sleep expert at the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, in a press release about the study. “These receptors feed information into an area deep in our brain that controls 24-hour rhythms, and affects how we perform and feel during the day. That interaction between light, sleep and wakefulness is supremely important.”

An amazing 58 percent of Brits in the survey who sleep in blue rooms say they regularly wake up feeling happy. Cheerio!

Certain shades of yellow come in second in promoting the best night’s sleep: seven hours and 40 minutes on average per night.

Warm yellow relaxes the body by stimulating the nervous system and calming the nerves.

Green also creates a calm and soothing vibe, which is why it appears to be the third best color for getting sleep. People with green rooms get an average of seven hours and 30 minutes of sleep per night, and 22 percent of those surveyed say they wake up “feeling upbeat and positive.”

The survey suggests that a soothing silver bedroom mimics moonlight, which cues the brain to know that it’s nighttime and time for sleep.

People with silver bedrooms get an average of seven hours and 33 minutes of sleep, while 21 percent surveyed say they are more motivated to exercise in their bedroom.

Orange, surprisingly, is close behind, with people getting an average of seven hours and 28 minutes of sleep. The warm color also creates a “stable and reassuring atmosphere and can even help digestion too — especially if you have eaten a large or late-evening meal,” according to the survey.

The color has also been found to relax muscles, so you fall asleep more quickly.

Bankers and estate agents tend to choose gold decor, the study found.

Though similar to silver, gray, an incredibly popular house paint color, didn’t perform well in the study; people in gray rooms get an average of only six hours and 12 minutes of sleep per night.

It’s thought that brown and gray can be “dreary and depressing, especially in the bedroom, and make occupants feel emotionally isolated and uncomfortable — resulting in a restless sleep,” the study says.

What’s more, the survey found that Brits with gray rooms spend the most time shopping online in bed.

Those with a brown, cream or white bedroom are most likely workaholics who take their work to bed with them at least three times per week. Shop workers are most likely to have these colors in their bedrooms.

Purple bedrooms performed the worst for sleep. On average, people in purple bedrooms get five hours and 56 minutes per night.

While elegant and artistic, the color is thought to be overly mentally stimulating. Coupled with a busy day, purple walls can make it difficult to turn off a racing mind and switch into sleep mode. (I’m guessing the color has a different affect on chipper dinosaurs named Barney.)

Most interesting, to me anyway, is that the study found that couples in bedrooms with a caramel decor scheme have sex, on average, three times per week.

Unfortunately, the study doesn’t offer any possible reasons. Is the color tricking people into thinking about Milky Way candy bars and chocolate, making them more excited? Or is that just the case in my house?

Not much magic apparently happens in red bedrooms, where couples make love once a week on average. Maybe Roxanne should have put on a caramel-colored light?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The Best (and Worst!) Summer Sexcapades for 2017

by RJ Newellin Sex, SEX TIPS

Are you curious about sex on a beach? Do you want to visit a nudist resort, take a tour of Amsterdam’s Red Light District, or join a kinky sex club? Summer is the perfect time to spice things up!

If you’re an adventurous type (and I’ll assume you are, since you’re reading LoveTV), here’s a summer ‘to-do’ list…with a few naughty no-nos thrown in.

Option 1: The Summer Sex Vacation

‘Wanderlust’ is a fun word, especially with sex involved. Here are some recommendations from travelers just like you!

Must See:

1. Amsterdam: Red Light District (AKA De Wallen)

Amsterdam-May 1: Red light district (Wallen) at night on May 1 2015 in Amsterdam the Netherlands.“If you like art, go see the Mona Lisa. But if you like sex, then you’d better go to Amsterdam! The Red Light District is like the Louvre of love.” – Dave L., 34

There’s something for everyone in Amsterdam’s Red Light District. Here, live sex shows, peep shows, erotic museums and sex shops are just the beginning. So as long as you’re respectful [and totally willing], you can legally indulge in your wildest desires.

 

 

2. Treebones Resort: Big Sur, California

the rugged Big Sur California coast landscape“If you love nature, Big Sur is one of the West Coasts’ sexiest places. I get turned on just looking at the scenery!” – Kenneth O., 38

“My girlfriend and I had a wild experience in an Outdoor Human Nest at Treebones…You want to be quiet, since you’re outside in the open, but doing it under the stars blew my mind.” – Miranda S., 22

Yes, you read that right – human nest. Treebones is a lesser-known but totally worthwhile romantic getaway. Whether you want to nest under the stars, enjoy a 5-star sleep in luxury a Yurt, or make love in a giant Cocoon Tent, look no further. Come for the view, stay for the sex. (Link)

3. The Queen Mary Hotel: Long Beach, California

LOS ANGELES - August 20: Queen Mary and Russian Scorpion homeported on August 20 2009 in Long Beach Los Angeles California USA.“It was like making love on the Titanic. It doesn’t get better than that!” – Delilah B., 40

The Queen Mary is an iconic ocean liner from the golden age of sea travel. It’s even bigger than the Titanic, but don’t worry – it’s permanently moored at Long Beach. No sailing, no sinking, just sexy! Visit this floating hotel for lavish, antique accommodations and magnificent views of the harbor. But be warned – the ship is supposedly haunted, so you may not be the only ones going ‘bump’ in the night. (Link)

Proceed With Caution:

The Green Door: Las Vegas, Nevada

Apartment Number Seven and Eyehole Tinted in Green“We went there for my Bachelorette party and that was a huge mistake. I wasn’t prepared to see so many older men masturbating and watching people have sex. If you’re into orgies and solo viewing, the Green Door is for you. But I just ran home and hid in my bed. Sorry.” – Olivia G., 31

While it’s a wildly popular spot for sex tourists from around the world, The Green Door is not for everyone. Its orgy room, dungeon and infamous Sexagon are popular for swingers and voyeuristic singles, but visitors are often unprepared for just how much anything goes, here. You may love it, or you may hate it. Just make sure you know what you’re in for. Get that freak flag ready to fly! (Link)

Don’t Bother:

The Grand Canyon

View from Ooh Aah Point on Kaibab trail in the Grand Canyon“It was always on my bucket list to have sex at the Grand Canyon, but it’s actually super unpleasant. Don’t do it! The canyon is hot and dusty, there are scorpions and snakes to look out for, and honestly…the sex was beyond uncomfortable.” – Evan T., 24

 

 

 

 

Option 2: CHEAP, FREE AND DIRTY

Must See:

1. Camping Under the Stars

Couple outdoors at campsite talking and smiling“Seriously, there’s nothing like sex in a forest, desert or mountain setting. It’s freeing in every way.” – Ryan J., 23

Can’t make it all the way to Big Sur? Pitch a tent in the closest national park, light a campfire (laws permitting), and release your inhibitions. There’s nothing like nature to set off your deepest animal instincts.

2. Nudist Resort (At Our Place or Yours?)

“If there’s a nudist community in your area, it’s often cheap to join or visit. But you’ll find that nudism has little to nothing to do with sex, so if you’re wanting to get freaky, try it at home.” – Joseph H., 56

Nudist resorts are wonderful places to get some R&R. But if you’re looking to turn it up a notch, I highly recommend starting your own nudist “resort” in the comfort of your own home. It can be just you and a partner, or invite some adventurous friends over for a naked barbeque. For groups, playing sexy roles (like Nude Bartender or Swinging Chef) can make for a fun night of play. And for the monogamous, married or cohabitating, here’s a hint: certain household chores are more fun when you’re naked. So whatever your fancy, try it nude!

3. Popsicle Party

Homemade blueberry ice cream or popsicles decorated green mint leaves on teal rustic table, frozen fruit juice. Vintage style.“It was an especially hot day, so we stocked up on popsicles and ice cream treats and cooled ourselves off the fun way. I can’t believe we hadn’t thought of it sooner!” – Alice F., 30

Flavored ice cubes, fruity popsicles, sticky ice cream sundae treats – the possibilities are endless for a sensuous foodie on a hot summer’s day! There’s only one rule for ice cream play: no cones, spoons or bowls allowed.

Proceed at your own risk:

At the Movies

“We live in a super small town. It’s not uncommon for us to be the only ones watching a movie, especially on a weekday matinee. Having sex at the movies was the wildest thing we’ve ever done. But it’s super illegal, so make sure you’re alone and proceed at your own risk.” – Chelsey V., 19

Don’t Bother:

Sex on a Beach

guy and his girlfriend are on the beach

“It’s not as fun as it sounds. I got sand in all the worst places.” – James R., 27

“A lifeguard saw us and we both got arrested. And the sand…not sexy at all.” – Issa M., 30

Backyard Playtime

“Unless you’re surrounded by hedges, don’t even try having sex in the yard. Even with maximum privacy, come on. People have drones now. Someone is going to report you, and the sex won’t even be worth it. – Pamela W., 41

“Even if you don’t get caught, is your backyard really that sexy? Let’s save you some time: the answer is no.” –Andrew L., 26

Bonus Option: Try Something New, and Tell Us About It!

At LoveTV, we’re always on the lookout for hot ideas. What’s your greatest summer sexcapade? We can’t wait to hear about it!

I Was a 30-Year-Old Virgin and My First Time Wasn’t What I Had Expected

by Virginia Jonesin Sex

“I was relieved that a p*nis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.”

Hi, my name is Virginia Jones and I’m a comedian and writer. I made a girlfriend six years ago who was beautiful and smart and kind and fun to be with, and at one point she told me she was a still a virgin in her late 20s, and I was pretty surprised.

In the years since we met, she has transitioned into non-virginity, and she agreed to sit down and talk with me about it.

Historically, virginity has been so important in religion, in vampire lore, and in marriage, but now it doesn’t seem as significant, and I wondered what her thoughts were on the topic. In this interview, I’m calling myself by my initials, VJ, and I’m calling her Unicorn Charmer, because in Medieval times it was said that a unicorn would only lay his head in a virgin’s lap.

VJ: At what age did you lose your virginity?

UC: I was 30. When did you lose yours?

VJ: I was 15, which at the time I felt was ancient and now I am totally grossed out by. When I see 15 year olds, I think, well, these are children.

UC: Oh myyyy.

VJ: How many partners have you had since then?

UC: I’ve had five sex partners — spread out over the past five years. Two long-term boyfriends, three shorter term. You?

VJ: Some multiple of that. Have you ever had a one night stand?

UC: I tried to have one in Europe with a sexy European man, but he kept in touch and it became an affair that kept going for a while — so I still haven’t successfully had one. I guess I maybe had one with someone I had been in love with forever — but that feels more like a continuation of our friendship. Once I had sex for the first time, he was someone I wanted to circle back and have sex with.

VJ: What was the original motivation for keeping your virginity, and did that change?

UC: I was raised in a very conservative Baptist household and was definitely taught that sex was for married people, and lots of scary stuff about STDs. When a boy first kissed me, I was quite sure I had AIDS. I was engaged for three years starting at 19, and when that engagement ended, I decided, well, I don’t have to be married, but I’d like to have sex with someone who loves me and who I love back. So, that only took… another seven years.

VJ: That’s a minute.

UC: It was. It wasn’t all the guys’ fault. I’m sometimes… fickle.

“I missed sex with people who weren’t in love with me, which I feel is missable.”

VJ: Have you ever lost partners or relationships because you didn’t want to have coitus?

UC: None of them ever admitted it, but looking back, I think, yeah. I think it’s not something you want to say is the reason.

VJ: It’s not a good look. Do you regret anything about waiting?

UC: I don’t regret my age or the timing when I lost my virginity — but I would have liked my first to be a different person?

VJ: Why is that?

UC: I thought he loved me and that he was the right partner, but it turned out that he wasn’t faithful and didn’t care for me the way I thought he did. Later, I felt like I was a conquest. It seemed like the right person at the time, but looking back, could have been better

VJ: I think most of us feel that way.

UC: Ha! But I don’t regret waiting, either. All I missed over the years was sex with people who weren’t in love with me, which I feel is missable.

VJ: What are some positive responses people have had to your sex history?

UC: Women have been 100 percent positive, girlfriends all think it’s great. Lots of men, friends and ex-boyfriends have been respectful of my decision. One man I did sleep with said it made him feel extra special. Which he is!

“I had built a lot of my self-image on being a virgin, on being that girl”

VJ: What is something that you changed your mind about after having sex?

UC: Strangely, I have changed my feelings about oral sex, which for years was my main sexual activity — now it seems VERY intimate and kind of more precious than sex — like, I can have intercourse with someone way before oral sex. I have to trust them more.

VJ: I’ve heard that’s the feeling a lot of millennials have, that sex with a condom you can have with anyone, but oral sex is more intimate. It’s the opposite of when I was growing up. What were you surprised about after the first time you had sex?

UC: I thought it would be really bloody and painful, and it wasn’t. I was surprised that it wasn’t actually that big a deal — I wasn’t a different person, I wasn’t transformed in one way or another — it was strange, I had built a lot of my self-image on being a virgin, on being that girl, and I had to figure out who I was again!

VJ: Ha! Right, part of our worth as a woman is your sexual purity — It gives you the idea that you will be a different person once you have sex, but you’re not. Like a button is pressed and POOF you are a different being.

UC: I guess so! But I just had to train myself out of thinking of myself in relation to what I hadn’t done, and think about myself in the context of what I have.

VJ: Have you had any negative feedback on staying a virgin for longer?

UC: Unfortunately, yeah- it usually gets thrown in my face by partners or men when they’re angry with me or want to hurt me? Stuff about I’m frigid or not normal or can’t come during sex, which I can — Lots of men want to tell me that because I waited, I’m gonna have hang-ups or other issues, that I’ll never be normal in bed.

VJ: That’s cruddy.

UC: It is. One guy in particular has hit that one same note over and over, that I’m not normal, normal people just hook up a lot and don’t put a lot of importance on sex, but you know, I know those people, and they don’t seem that happy to me.

VJ: Maybe not.

UC: And I know that I’m worth more than that.

VJ: Well, I think everyone is worth more, both women and men. But we believe what people tell us, which is that the only thing available to us is hookup sex, so we’d better take it, or get nothing. (laughs)

UC: Ha! Right.

“I was relieved that a penis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.”

VJ: What were you relieved about when you lost your virginity?
UC: I was honestly glad not to worry about it anymore. Also…Oh, god…

VJ: What?
UC: I was relieved that a penis didn’t feel like a giant finger inside me.

VJ: Haaaaa!

UC: Well, I wasn’t sure.

VJ: Well, how could you be? Thank you for sharing your sex history with me, babe.

The Unicorn Charmer has just ended a serious relationship and is currently out meeting new dates and potential partners in her new city, and is having fun, mostly!

Are you reinventing your own love life? Work with the experts at LoveTV to have better sex, love and intimacy.

Want the Best Sex of Your Life? Start by Being Sober.

by Jessica Grahamin Sex

Great sex may be one (or several) mocktails away.

The first time I had sex I was intoxicated. Same thing the second time. And the third. I wasn’t up for any kind of intimacy or real connection with myself or my partners.

Plus, it seemed that most people I knew were having checked out sex. I was high, drunk, or emotionally shut down during most sexual interactions until I was in my late 20s.

Then I started a spiritual practice which involved daily meditation.

This radically changed my relationship with myself. I found that as I practiced focusing on thoughts and emotional sensations without judgment, my reactions and behaviors began to change. The more I sat still with my body and my mind, the more I wanted to be present in all things, even my sex life.

I started down the path of sober and mindful sex.

When I began having sober sex my world was turned upside down and inside out. I could feel so much more sensation in my body, so much more pleasure! I had a much greater intimacy with my partners. It felt like we were there together, rather than each on our own pumping away.

I went from checked out and stuck in my mind to fully present and grounded in my body during sex.

As I healed my sexual wounds and deepened my meditation practice, my sex life bloomed in beautiful ways. But it wasn’t just my sex life that transformed, my whole life underwent a major emotional and spiritual renovation.

My friends and family noticed the change in me and started asking what I was doing. I began to teach and coach in a casual way, but soon my teachers asked me to start teaching formally.

I began by offering lessons on mindfulness and spiritual awakening, but not long after that I incorporated mindful sex coaching. Lucky me, I got to combine two of my favorite things, meditation and sex!

Sober is sexy

If you told me 10 years ago that I would be teaching other people to have mindful and conscious sex, I would have laughed out loud. But the transformation that occurred for me when I brought my mindfulness practice into sex was just too good not to share. Now one of my greatest passions is to help others do the same.

One of my top suggestions for people new to mindful sex is to put the drugs and booze down while nurturing this new way of connecting sexually. Having a few martinis or a joint might make you feel randy or help you to relax; but, ultimately, being intoxicated will limit your ability to be present with your partner.

Sex just isn’t as good when you are cut off from your body and your full mental capacity. You lose the opportunity to deeply and intimately connect with your partner. Even wild, kinky, or multi-orgasmic sex will lose its luster and become rote if it continues to be exclusively unconnected.

It’s also much easier to have unprotected sex, or hook up with someone you later wish you hadn’t while intoxicated. When I’m working with a client who is single and dating, I always suggest that they stay sober for first dates and when having sex for the first time.

Our culture is all about “going for drinks,” which, if the date is going well, can lead to drunken sex and possible regrets. It’s a radical act to date without getting tipsy.

Without the social lubrication of alcohol, you are available to be truly present with this other person. While this might be uncomfortable at first, it will also be more real.

There will be no drunken (or even buzzed) filter, so you’ll get a chance to find out who this person really is, and if you want to get to know them better.

I’m not saying that it’s necessary to have sober sex all the time. It’s totally possible to have amazing and connected sex without being sober. But if you are like I was, rarely sober during sex, it’s well worth trying it out.

Hello, sexual hangups

You may find that a lot of emotions and even old traumas resurface when you have sex without the aid of libations.

When I started having sober sex I also had to face the reasons why I needed to be intoxicated in the first place. There was a lot of shame, trauma and grief to work through, and it wasn’t always easy. It’s hard to sit with those old, painful feelings.

The good news is if you truly face your past pain without resistance and with lots of love, you can transform. Working through the traumas of my past allowed me to open myself up to life on a whole new level. As those old layers fell away, my sexuality blossomed like never before.

Whether you are working with trauma or not, it’s a good idea to have lots of support as you venture into sober sex. A meditation practice, trusted friends, and therapy were very helpful for me.

If drugs and alcohol are a problem for you in general, you might want to check out a 12-Step meeting or some other form of addiction recovery support.

It’s also great to have partners that are willing to try some sober sex with you. You can treat it like an adventure, albeit a sometimes hilarious and awkward adventure.

At the very least, try writing your feelings about sex down in a journal. It can be your sex diary! Try writing a few pages, stream of consciousness, every day.

Embrace the awkwardness

If you are feeling nervous about the prospect of sober dating and sex, don’t fear. You are a human and it’s totally normal to have some butterflies in your stomach before a date or a first sexual interaction. The truth is the nerves are part of the fun! If you let go of the fearful thoughts and instead feel into the sensations in your body, those butterflies might start to feel good.

Sometimes anxiety is just excitement with a different name. Numbing out with alcohol or drugs keeps you from feeling all the subtle information your body is giving you. Our bodies have so much capacity for pleasure if we only drop in and feel it.

The best sex of your life

Embodied sex is good sex. The more you get to know your body, the more it will offer you. As you become more mindful of your body and more grounded in the present moment, you will begin to awaken sexually. Once you find out how great mindful sex can be, you’ll wonder how you ever did it any other way.

Sober doesn’t necessarily equal mindful, but it is a first step toward priming yourself for the best sex of your life. As you become more comfortable being fully present during sex you can start bringing good old mindfulness into the equation. Then you will start to experience the utter mind-blowing joy of sex.

The cool thing about sex, and life in general, is that the possibilities are endless. Having sober sex, even some of the time, opens you up to a whole new world of pleasure and intimacy.

I offer you the challenge of having sober sex for the next month. If you are dating, try sober dating for the next month too. Give yourself the chance to have a new experience. You just might like it.

Inspired? Here’s an article to learn more about improving your sex life with meditation.

This Cartoon Can Lead to Mind-Blowing Sex. Tonight.

by zfortadminin Sex

Here’s how to help your lover (or yourself) discover those spots. Trust us, you’re going to want to share this.

It should come as no surprise that it was a man, an Italian one no less, who claimed to discover the clitoris in the 1550s. Hundreds of years later, we’re still learning that the Little Man in the Boat is really just the tip of a white-hot iceberg.

Whether you’re on solo expedition or with a partner, why not make it a no-pants party? By simply exploring the capabilities of the whole clit, you could find that the best sex of your life is right at your fingertips, if you’ll pardon the pun. So, let’s roll up our sleeves (literally) and get to know our nubs, for to know them is to love them.

Know your history

Start with this quirky and charming cartoon by French animator Lori Malépart-Traversy as an icebreaker. Her award-winning three-minute short guides us through various men’s claims that they were the Chris Columbus of the clit. After viewing you might be a little closer to discovering the multifaceted areas of stimulation found on the clit or at least a little intimated.

Le clitoris – Animated Documentary Trailer (2016) from Lori Malépart-Traversy on Vimeo.

Now, let’s see what’s happening below the belt.

Know your body

Surely we’ve all met Captain Rosebud, the pink helmeted sentry above our vaginas. Often referred to as the female penis, blood rushes to the Commander in Queef when we’re turned on, yielding little lady boners.

While we are grateful for his years of service, turns out the Cap has minions fanned out in a wishbone-shaped formation (the legs) on either side of the vagina itching for active duty. The clit extends two to three inches down either side of your vagina and is populated with your own personal foot soldiers.

These overlooked “G men,” if not put to use, can atrophy just like a muscle.

Anxious lovers might rush to poke and press on your main chicklet like a stalled elevator button and often when we masturbate, we stick to the mountaintop and ignore the valleys.

A woman’s orgasm, however, is not just one and done. Stimulating the top dog (glans clitoris) with its 8,000 points of pleasure will, naturally, cause you to come faster, but a slow grind incorporating the entire clitoris (corpus cavernosum) can produce mind-blowing multiples, but also the elusive, deeper vaginal orgasm.

It can also be the gatekeeper of the G-spot, which we believe is a bundle of nerves located inside your vagina along the vaginal ceiling more towards your stomach than back. Whether or not it is an extension of the clitoris is a long-debated topic.

When you’re super juiced or even a few minutes after a session with the pocket rocket, explore your inner labia and apply pressure with your fingers or the entire palm of your hand. You may feel something akin to a pulse. That’s your clitoris at work! Now, take it one step further: Insert two fingers inside your sugar walls. Feel that little pebbly patch? That’s your G spot!

Psst! Want to learn more about your G-spot? Love TV’s got you. Become a member and learn more about how to hit the spot, so to speak.

Find your orgasm

All right, we made contact with the G-spot. Now, take it out for a spin. At this point, bringing yourself to climax shouldn’t require that much spelunking. Stick around for the fireworks and let yourself feel your own orgasm. You might find that your vaginal walls are actually pulsating and tingling. Mazel Tov!

Now, let’s mix it up, take it behind closed doors and explore sex positions with your partner targeting that area.

We’ve found that Doggie Style, the Valedictorian and the Pinball Wizard, positions where your partner’s pelvis knocks against your clit in more of a circular or up and down grinding motion, can produce neighbor waking/angel singing results. Toss in some cunnilingus and consider your world (and your partner’s) officially rocked.

Make tonight’s sex the best sex ever with 7 more intoxicating sex positions.