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Tag: Better Sex

Can Tantra Improve Your Sex Life?

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sex is one reason couples come to Tantra – either to help put the spark back into their relationship or in the hope of curing some kind of sexual dysfunction. Below are some key principles which can help couples to find sexual fulfillment.

  • Make time for love: Busy couples often make love at the end of a tiring day. Make special time for your love-making. Have a bath, exchange a massage, take a walk or meal together beforehand so you can let go of the day and spend time simply being together before making love.
  • Create a sacred space: Make your bedroom your temple. Clear away all the clutter, light candles, burn incense, place a special cloth on your bed – do whatever you need to do to create an atmosphere of sacredness and love.
  • See sex as sacred: When we are able to experience awe and wonder for the miracle of sex, we are in tune with godliness. To jump start this process, imagine your partner is a god or goddess – be creative! You could wash their feet, stroke their skin gently with reverence or gaze into their eyes – whatever helps you see the divine in them.
  • No goal: Forget about the goal of orgasm. Learn to just be together in a timeless zone. This becomes more orgasmic than any genital release can ever be.
  • Be total: breathe deeply and totally from your belly as much as you can – aliveness and let go are essential for the flow of sexual energy to become ecstatic.
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Tantric Explorations Brings a Higher Plane of Sexual Ecstasy

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Takeaway: If all you know about Tantra is something about Buddhism and Sting, think again. These Tantric tips are for anyone, and can help you have better sex in mind and body.

Sometimes sex can seem like a race toward orgasm. With so many tips, guides and articles for achieving orgasm (“guaranteed,” “multiple” and “mind-blowing,” get tossed around a lot) it’s no surprise that we sometimes forget that there’s more to sex than the finish line. Tantra, the Sanskrit word for “interwoven”, puts sex in a different perspective. Tantric sex is about slowing down, connecting with your partner, and becoming orgasmic rather than focusing on achieving orgasm. It began in India as a form of yoga that exalted the union of men and women. Today, it’s a way to experience your partner’s body and mind in a way that for many people is completely new.

Real tantra is something that must be explored and learned and discovered over time, but here are a few ways to start bringing some of its key elements into your love life.

Create and Intimate and Relaxing Space

In Tantra, sex is considered to be a full body and mind experience. That means that a big part of Tantra can involve satisfying all of your senses. Think of what smells relax you and your partner, or what scents might stimulate you. Lavender is typically said to relieve stress, and incense or candles can definitely be handy. Consider color, texture, music, even foods. Make sure you are dressed comfortably, with clothes that feel good against your skin. Remember that the space you create shouldn’t draw attention to itself. Instead, it should form a zone in which you’re able to focus on your partner.

Breathe and Make Eye Contact

Breathing is an excellent way to relax your body. Start by sitting down across from your partner, either cross-legged with your knees touching. Or, if you’d prefer more physical contact, wit with one person in the other person’s lap with your legs wrapped around each other.

Try drawing in a deep breath for four seconds through your mouth, then releasing air slowing for four seconds through your nose. Try also coordinating your breath with your partner’s to create a feeling of connection. Inhale when your partner inhales; exhale when he or she exhales. Alternatively, do a breath exchange: inhale when your partner exhales, exhale when he or she inhales. Focus your gaze on your partner’s eyes so you’re looking straight at each other. This may feel very vulnerable at first, but with practice, it’ll be an avenue to a feeling of deeper intimacy.

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Join Me in the Bedroom, Your Sexy Surprise Awaits…

by Jo Millerin Sex

How do you build up the tension with your partner, when you are planning a sexy surprise? Does planning your trysts keep a smile on your face all day?

“Go straight to the bedroom. Make yourself comfortable gorgeous, I’m fixing you a drink.”

I texted, as I slipped into the shadows of the darkened kitchen. “Bloody hell!” My husband was home early, and he’d caught me in the midst of the finishing touches to my “welcome home darling” handiwork.

Not ten minutes earlier, I had been attending to the seams of my come hither silky black stockings, lighting “everything looks better in candlelight” candles and gathering ingredients to make a delicious love potion (Dutch courage) before my phone alerted me that his plane had landed earlier than expected and my king was on en route to the castle.

My text delay tactic was a success, and he wordlessly took the hallway route directly to the bedroom, beautifully avoiding the slight scramble playing out in the kitchen. Having bought myself a few extra minutes, I returned to my preparations and to my Dutch courage.

I took a languid sip from my most lovingly crafted libation and smiled. “Damn that tasted good.” Casting aside my slippers, I eased my stocking feet into a pair of appropriately teetering stiletto heels. Another sip, another smile as I pressed the play button to release the strains of The Black Keys into the room.

I’d spent considerable time that day performing a mental scan of oh so many artists, oh so many songs, to choose the perfect playlist for my head fantasy. Another sip, another smile as I rewound the day and reflected on how this present moment had come to be.

It had all begun that morning, after school drop-off and on my way to the gym when the provocative rhythm of “Psychotic Girl” by The Black Keys came on the radio.

I’d had a week of solo parenting and after a marathon hamster wheel of juggling the jostling roles of resident short order cook, laundry department, worker bee, personal shopper, taxi driver, baseball Mum, errand girl, cleaning crew, homework tutor, caring mother/wife/friend/daughter/entrepreneur, I was very much looking forward to either some well earned beauty sleep, or a naughty play date.

Thanks to the inspiring hypnotic pulse of the Black Keys the naughty play date trumped beauty sleep.

This is a reoccurring theme. My mind’s movie reel flashed with a menu of potential choices for the evening’s feature presentation and my imagination was off to the races in conjuring up a most delightful and pleasurable reunion with my king.

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Good Sex Starts in the Mind

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Knowing what turns you on is completely different than knowing the deep reason you enjoy your fantasies. Have you thought about your sexual needs on a deep level? Below we explore great questions to help you connect deeper with your deepest desires and why they are a part of you.

Sex is a body thing. Good sex is a mind thing. And, as with many matters of the mind, getting your groove on – in a fulfilling, meaningful manner – can take a little work and a lot of thought.

However, most articles and authorities on the subject seem to tackle concerns over coitus from the physical front. In so doing, experts are omitting a vital aspect of the sexual encounter: the psychological. Luckily, though, there are psychotherapists and so-called sexologists whose very work involves getting your mind right for a romp.

Here’s what they have to say…

Ask Yourself 2 Simple Questions

Ken Page, a New York-based psychotherapist and author who specialises in intimacy and its psychological correlates, writes that two simple questions are enough to teach you valuable lessons about your sex life.

The first question which Page proposes we ask is: What turns me on most in sex? Now, as simple as this seems, most of us might not be able to give a straight answer right away. Why? Because, as Page puts it “our sexual turn-ons sometimes just don’t fit our self-image”. When this is the case, we fanaticise about something for which we feel ashamed.

However, whether or not we like to admit to them (for instance, many people may find that what they like seems “boring” in comparison to some more exciting fantasies) , the things which turn us on the most are “portals to a deeper experience of sex and of ourselves”.

What?

Page explains that these “turn ons” shine a light on parts of ourselves we just don’t know what do with. And we can really benefit from learning how to handle these sexual fantasies in a creative, fulfilling and – vitally – non-destructive ways.

Page recommends that we try to allow ourselves the freedom of play in our dream world: and to trust ourselves enough to try some of these deeply-held fantasies. If it gets uncomfortable, accept that this is normal, but monitor it, and – if the discomfort persists – enlist the support of a skilled psychotherapist to help you along the way.

For the most part, though, Page reckons, we will feel a. proud of ourselves for embracing what it is we want most, and b. more sexually fulfilled. Which brings us to his second “questions for optimal sex”.

What Touches You most Deeply in Sex?

Not literally. What Page is getting at here is, what is it – during sex – which touches you most emotionally? Page goes into this topic in quite a bit of depth in his book Deeper dating: How to drop the games of seduction and discover the poser of intimacy. However, for our purposes here, let’s consider the following points:

  1. Have you ever been surprised by how a sexual experience touched you emotionally?
  2. Have you ever felt a sense of love which overtook you – where sex surpassed sex and became something more?
  3. And, finally, what happened to make this happen?

Try to figure it out: is it a way your partner looks at you, or the way they stroke your back?

Page explains that “in sex and in life, most of us are both more wild and more tender than we feel comfortable with, but both aspects of our sexuality are portals to our deepest self and our richer expression in the world”.

So, he recommends we ask ourselves these two questions about sex as a way to guide us, and our partners, to those portals of intimacy.

We diminish – and even extinguish – the intimacy between ourselves and others when we hide our most vulnerable sexual needs. To keep any sexual relationship real and rewarding, Page explains, involves sharing with your partner the things in sex that move you most deeply, that turn you on most intensely.

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Are Sex Toys the Missing Link in Your Relationship?

by zfortadminin Sex

Do you get adventurous with your partner and play with Sex Toys together? JoDivine explores the great benefits of adding some play time with sexy adult toys. If you are still on the fence, we have answers to the common questions that might be holding you back.

Often thought of as a solo activity, the use of sex toys by couples can improve their sexual relationship. Using a sex toy is a fun way to spice up your relationship whilst boosting a couple’s intimacy. The benefits of using a sex toy are numerous, including keeping your Kegel muscles toned and your libido charged.

Why should I use a sex toy?

The benefits of using a sex toy are huge. Having great sex can promote health and well being by improving your mood and physically making you feel good. Using a sex toy can spice up a flagging sex life and bring a bit of fun into your life. A sex toy will make you feel great as well as promoting your circulation and the release of the “feel good factors” during an orgasm. It can also increase the tone and elasticity of the vaginal walls and promote the release of vaginal secretions which can decline as we get older, as a result of ill health or side effects of medication.

Sex is not just about having sexual intercourse which is only one way to have fulfilling sex. Using a sex toy can bring great pleasure to both of you if full intercourse is not possible. Many couples are unable to have sex due to physical or emotional problems so using a sex toy may help.

Will it ruin my normal sex life?

When used with your partner, sex toys provide couples with the opportunity to fully express themselves sexually and increase their sexual pleasure, especially when using them to stimulate their partner.

Couples can use sex toys to boost their sexual satisfaction, introduce variety into a relationship which may have become boring and make sex fun. Having sex with the same person for many years can become a bit stale but a sex toy can help to make sexual intercourse more fun, pleasurable and exciting. Becoming aroused with the help of a sex toy is no different to any other way and may increase your pleasure. Your partner may prefer to use a sex toy to arouse you to avoid an aching hand if it takes a while!sexy couple kissing and playing in bed

I want to but I’m too embarrassed

Since the famous rabbit vibrator was mentioned on “Sex and the City” it has become acceptable to own sex toys. According to recent statistics, nearly 60% of women own a sex toy and 75% of those who do are married. You may be surprised at how many of your friends own a toy: it is normally the quiet ones!

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Orgasm Together: You Can Do It!

by zfortadminin Sex

Having a an explosive, passionate orgasm can be the icing on the cake. But orgasming at the same time as your partner can be a very intense and rewarding moment. Cosmopolitan shares 8 ways to have the big O with your partner at the same time.

1. Give yourself the finger. If you need clitoral love during P in the V, buzzing a fingertip vibe—try the Frisky Finger ($11, PleasureChest.com)—on your clitoris during doggie is a game changer.

2. Get in before you start bar-hopping—not after. Alcohol makes you want to jump your partner’s bones, but it produces vasocongestion, down-there swelling that keeps him from going deep, which can make it harder for you to finish. Tequila is a cruel mistress.

3. Sex should not feel like Winter’s Bone. Lube the eff up, please (both you and your partner, before and/or during The Naughty). Almost 50 percent of women say lube makes it easier to orgasm. And forget the myth that it’s just for older women—all the cool kids are doing it.

4. Tell him to slide a finger (or two) into you while he uses his mouth on your Georgia O’Keefe. Internal and external play is twice as nice for your orgasm chances.

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Elevate Your Sex Life with Meditation

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Are you craving a deeper connection to your lover?  Mind Body Green shows you 4 ways to take your sex life to the next level with meditation. 

Life is indeed like a box of chocolates. But here’s the question: are you fully appreciating what’s inside the box?

In other words, do you pop any of the chocolates into your mouth and finish in seconds? Or, do you take the time to look at the chocolates, figure out which flavor appeals to you most, and then experience eating it completely, activating all of your senses?

The automatic response is to go through life somewhat mindlessly. But when we take the time to look, listen, touch, smell and taste what’s available to us in this life, things get a whole lot better.

Sure, many of us incorporate superfoods like acai berries, maca, and even chocolate into our diets to healthily fuel us, I’ll argue that the most fun super-fuel is sex. Frequent great sex will boost your physical and emotional vitality, mental clarity and spiritual well-being.

The better quality the sex, the more empowered you will feel in all areas of your life. The best kind of sex makes us present, in touch with ourselves, and lets us be vulnerably, fully seen — both physically and emotionally “stripped down.” This is where meditation comes into play — literally!

Whether you’re a novice or expert in meditation, incorporating the practice into your sex life can put the “OM” into your “OMG!” Here’s why:

1. Meditation makes you realize the power of your mind.

And that recognition gives you sexual power. So why have the fast food version of sex when you can have decadent, transformative and energizing sex through your mindfulness practice? An intimate relationship allows us to rest and remove our daily armor and recharge, but too often we get in and out of the zone as if in a race to beat the commercials before resuming Game of Thrones.

When we make the effort to become more present with our sensory experiences, we realize the power of sexual energy. In fact, it’s one of the most readily available, internal forces that human beings have to harness their qi (life force).

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Slow Sex or Hot Sex: What is More Fulfilling?

by zfortadminin Sex

Slow sex or Hot sex?

Couples often tell me they like their hot sex life and wonder why my partner, Tim and I are so enchanted by slow sex. The answer is simple. We both liked our hot sex life too but we were aware – as Tim had been reading spiritual teacher Barry Long’s books like – Making Love: Sexual Love the Divine Way – that there was another kind of making love available which meant we could rise to new levels of connection with each other in a soul/spiritual way.

Over the years, we have gradually learnt to be with each other in a different way, in a more present way, in a more heart-open way, in a way where we profoundly relax into each other because orgasm is not the goal, we find that another more soulful sexual energy arises.

Sometimes, I describe our sex life before as like paddling in a stream, whereas now we are swimming freely in the wide-open ocean. It’s a time we decide to spend together consciously where we might be gazing at one another while Tim’s penis is inside me, or he might be holding my breasts, or I might be holding his penis. Or simply lying together naked gently caressing each other. This and much more is all slow sex.

There is a misnomer with regards to slow sex, it does not mean being still all the time. Slow sex refers to the idea that you become more conscious and aware of what you are doing and how you are doing it, it means to take time to become present in your own body so that you can truly be present with each other. That’s the most significant guideline and it does take time and practice.

The other day I was talking to a male friend and he said that he and his ex-partner of 8 years, never gazed at each other when they were making love. He sounded sad when he said it. Often because it requires a level of vulnerability, couples find it difficult to connect intimately while having sex. Over the years, this is what we have discovered and why we’re so keen to support other couples find this new level with each other.

However there are no rules involved. Slow sex may include a lot of movement, and it may not. It’s very much about the freedom to be real with each other and to inhabit that moment as fully as possible. And it’s not about taking hours to do it. Sometimes, we spend as little as 20 or 30 minutes connecting in this way, and it’s enough to ground us in loving relationship which helps us feel bonded with ourselves and with each other for the rest of the day.

I recommend slow sex on other levels as well. For instance, it enhances my sense of well-being, my inner peace and increases my levels of loving generosity too, which in turn affects my other relationships and interactions in the world. It also has an effect on my creativity. I have some of my best ideas while hanging out making love.

In her book Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sex, Diana Richardson describes slow sex as a revolutionary practice for couples to enhance sexuality and reach a higher state of consciousness. She also talks about how slow sex is a way to increase sensitivity and that is certainly what has happened to Tim and I. Sex that focuses on orgasm as a goal means you are constantly looking ahead, not really present, while slow sex enables you both to simply focus on the myriad of subtle delightful feelings all along the way.

5 Keys to Slow Sex

1) Slow sex turns sex into a conscious decision rather than an accidental encounter.

2) Focusing on eye contact, subtle sensations and deep breathing, slow sex awakens the body’s innate mechanism for ecstasy.

3) Slow sex transforms sex into a meditative, loving union of complementary equal and opposite forces and energies.

4) With the emphasis on coolness rather than heat, this practice provides couples with a way to achieve higher consciousness.

5) The practice of slow sex includes deep penetration as well as soft penetration and offers a style that can be enjoyed well into old age.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Intimate Cuddling Positions For Bonding With Your Man

by zfortadminin Sex

One of the best ways to bond with your man is snuggling. It releases the hormone oxytocin, your body’s love signal.

Physical contact is also a fun way to spend time together, and gives you lots of opportunity for pillow talk. The best cuddling positions are dependent on your mood and situation, but here are ten great options for day or night.

1. GETTING SPOONED

This cuddling position is one of the absolute best ways to spend super-close, super-snuggly time together. Spooning involves lying on your side in the same direction as your guy, and cuddling up with your rear up against his front just like in the picture above. Plus, most women are smaller than men, which means they fit perfectly into the contours of their favorite guy’s body.

This is an all-purpose position that doesn’t require a soft bed or couch, since you’re lying on your side, so it works well for picnics in the park, camping, and other outdoorsy moments.

2. SPOONING YOUR MAN

Of course, you can also reverse this cuddling position. Men like to feel cared for and protected too, so give your guy those feelings he craves by wrapping your arms around him and cuddling up to his back. This is a perfect way to incorporate a backrub too, which is sure to up your guy’s love for you. Or reach around and grab his hands for total entwinement.

3. LYING ON HIS STOMACH

We tend to think of cuddling as an after-sex activity, but some cozy snuggles can also get things going, and lying on your guy’s stomach is one of the best cuddling positions for this. When he’s on his back, turn over and lay partially on him, with your head on his chest and your torso on his torso.

This is a perfect arrangement for lying and talking for hours or slowly moving toward something sexier. For extra steaminess, start in this cuddling position with your clothes on and slowly take them off, piece by piece.

4. LYING ON TOP OF HIM

This position for cuddling requires some serious commitment, because you have to climb all the way on top of your man. Therefore it probably isn’t the best bet if you guys aren’t lying on something comfortable, but either way, it’s bound to be cozy for you! Have him spread his legs a bit so you can fit one of yours between his for extra closeness. It’s also the perfect position to start the Man Missionary position from.

5. SITTING IN HIS LAP

This position for cuddling is excellent for watching a movie, eating snacks, chilling out or watching the sun set. Because it’s far more appropriate than most of the lying-down positions, you don’t need to worry about keeping it ‘clean’ for your grandmother or little brothers. That makes it a good way to stay close even on a busy day or when there are lots of people around, which is good, because on these days you both often need an extra hit of love and TLC.

It’s also perfect for moving into something like the Back Seat Driver sex position.

6. LYING UNDERNEATH HIM

Of course, this is another of those cuddling positions that bears a large resemblance to sexy times, but it doesn’t have to result in amorous activities like the good old fashioned Missionary position. Lying underneath your guy is a great way to feel close to one another and to lay face to face, or can offer great opportunities for a little low-stakes making out that goes nowhere…perfect for a quiet evening in.

7. SNUGGLING FACE TO FACE

One of the coziest cuddling positions for talking, snuggling face to face offers you lots of opportunity to gaze lovingly at your man. Simply turn toward each other in the bed or even on a couch, holding hands or putting your arms around each other like in the Lotus position. If you like, you can even curl your legs up into a fetal position and he can bend his body around you for even more closeness.

What’s not to like?

But keep in mind that during the day, this position offers lots of opportunity for your guy to notice your hair and face, so it may not be the best approach after a late night or when your mascara needs washing off.

8. HOLDING HANDS WHILE LYING ON YOUR STOMACHS

This cuddling position gives you both a little more freedom of movement. Simply lie down on your tummies and reach into the shared space (which some of us think of as “the neutral zone”) to hold hands. This is perfect for slowly falling asleep with some contact, or for talking till dawn. More of a back sleeper? No problem … this works equally well for those that prefer to lay on their bums, and can even be adapted so that one member of the couple lies one way and one lies the other.

9. INTERTWINING YOUR LEGS

If you enjoy snuggled up legs, you might like a cuddling position that leaves your torsos and arms free to do what they like and entwines your legs together. This position can work with you facing each other, with one of you spooning the other, or with both of you on your stomachs or backs. Simply entangle your legs, wrapping yours around his and playing footsie if you get the opportunity!

10. CUDDLING BACK TO BACK

A great cuddling position for falling asleep, snuggling up back to back allows you to feel your guy’s warmth and appreciate his proximity without having to do much. It’s best for cozying up under warm blankets as you drift off and gaze out the window or enjoy a little late-night pillow talk. You can even reach behind you and grab a hand.

Working on your relationship can take many forms, but one of the easiest and most enjoyable ways to do it is simply to snuggle up. Take every opportunity you can to get close to your man in the living room, out in public, and especially in the bedroom. You’ll be glad you did!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

7 Intoxicating Sex Positions

by zfortadminin Sex

For those times when you want to get a little bit ~intimate~.

Sometimes all you want is the kind of daring, delightfully dirty sex that would make Christian Grey wonder what the eff he’d gotten himself into. But on other occasions, you may prefer something that feels a little more emotionally raw, like you and your partner have fused into one amazing-sex-having being. Here, seven positions to try when you’re craving the sexual equivalent of the heart-eyed emoji.

1. Spooning

If you’re the big spoon, you get to play the role of the protector. As the little spoon, you feel enveloped in a cocoon of sexiness and security. Another point in this position’s corner: when you’re on the inside, your partner can try manual stimulation, penetration, or both if that’s what you’re into. Double duty is always a winner.

Netflix via shawshankedbylindsey.tumblr.com

2. Wraparound

Change things up from missionary position by wrapping your legs around your partner’s back so you can draw them in deeper. Not knowing where one of you ends and the other begins can translate into sex so good, you’re tempted to walk down the street with a megaphone and broadcast a play-by-play.

3. Sideways

It’s the face-to-face version of spooning, so you have the added benefit of being able to gaze into each other’s eyes, thus getting one step closer to peak sappiness. If you’re feeling inspired enough to turn your session into something sweeter than even the best of desserts, you can caress your partner’s face and whisper all the things that usually feel too intimate to say. Chances are they’ll return the favor.

4. Starfish

Yes, Marnie had a bad experience with a version of this on Girls (remember Booth Jonathan and the sassy doll?), but it can still result in electric sex with the right person. To get there, lie on your back, extending your arms and legs like you know you’re the prettiest starfish in the sea. Beckon your partner over and ask them to lie on top of you, matching each of their limbs up with yours. It’ll feel like you’re touching every inch of each other, and as a bonus, you can do a lot of kissing.

Pixar via mund0-meu.tumblr.com

5. Modified Doggy

This simple variation on doggy style can bring you closer, both literally and figuratively. Lie flat on your stomach and have your partner position themselves between your legs to enter from behind, or reach down with their hand. You’ll get full-body contact, and an easy turn of your head makes it possible to kiss throughout the action.

6. Straddling

Ask your partner to sit with crossed legs, then settle in on top of them, wrapping your legs around their hips. You’ll both benefit from the eye contact, and if you’re having sex with a guy, it’s tough to do regular old in-and-out thrusting. No matter who you’re trying this out with, you can rely on grinding and friction instead. It’s like switching from hyped up hip-hop to smooth R&B, except during sex so it’s way more fun.

7. However you like it!

Maybe you think the above moves are perfectly nice, but what really makes you feel more in love is submitting to someone else during role-play or looking down into their eyes while you do your thing on top. Even more than certain positions, vulnerability is what ups the emotional ante during sex. Something that seems hardcore to one person might translate into major swooning for you, and vice versa. In that case, the only thing you can do to figure it all out is lots of experimenting. Who knew homework could be so much fun?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Hotel Sex: Better Than Regular Sex?

by zfortadminin Sex

It’s not just you.

There’s something about getting down and dirty in a lavish hotel room, and it’s not that you don’t have to remake the bed. At least that’s not the only reason, according to the best excuse to book your next staycation ASAP.

Ian Kerner, a licensed psychotherapist and sex counselor, and best-selling author of She Comes First and Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man, explains to the Huffington Post that there are chemical reactions that occur in your brain upon screwing between unfamiliar sheets. These reactions don’t occur, at least not necessarily, in your own bedroom.

“The novelty of the hotel room is going to stimulate dopamine transmission in the brain, which pays a big role in arousal and sexual excitement,” Kerner says. The sensory stimulation of well-appointed accommodations also triggers a languorous feeling that can be translated as sexual.

But don’t forget to hang up that Do Not Disturb sign. The absence of distractions is another big factor in really enjoying the moment. And an overly determined cleaner is almost as effective a boner killer as a framed photo of your mother-in-law.

Just another casual reminder to use up your vacation leave before the year’s out.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Are You Paying Attention to Your Sexual Soul?

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex, Wellness

Ignoring this vital source of life has caused a lot of pain and distress for many people. Making peace with it, though, can open you up to deep wells of pleasure.

The human desire for connection runs deep, like a river that winds through an individual’s heart. If this river-like phenomenon can be compared to human sexuality, then it can run through different rhythmic patterns.

Some spots will be filled with passionate torrents; others will be serene and calm. Maneuvering along this river in a boat named “LIFE” is truly one of the human being’s greatest adventures. From a soul perspective, sexuality is a merging of both masculine and feminine energies into one. We all have these special gifts that lie within us.

Yet there can be so much confusion and angst within a person who is lacking this spiritual, sexual intimacy. An artist has found a way to bring these elements to life through their work. When the creative’s connection to intimacy gets stifled, then there is no energy left for creation. What causes this lack of creativity? It might be that the sexual soul has suffered an interruption in its internal program of love and light.

A picture, it is said, is worth a thousand words. One famous picture of art deftly displays the power of mixing masculine and feminine energy, awakening the sexual soul to life. In the artwork, both man and woman are represented as streams of energy merging together. The male’s energy enters the woman, and flows through her body to the crown of her head. The woman’s energy flows out from the crown of her head into the crown of the man’s head, thereby resulting in a never-ending circular stream of energy between both people.

The sexual soul’s purpose is to keep us alive and vibrant. Honestly, though, the struggle to make peace with this sacred part of our humanity gets short shrift. There are men and women who have suffered deep scars and wounds from sexual abuse and degradation in their formative years. Responsible adults took advantage of them, making these precious young souls their sexual playmates. I use the term “playmate” carefully because the harm that comes from this abusive way of life sends the sexual soul reeling for its own true path. People can get caught up in abusing their sexuality through daily use of prostitutes, pornography or even cutting themselves from the shame, guilt and fear that haunt them.

It is clear to me that some people find using prostitutes and pornography in their sexual lives as no big deal. So be it. Moralists definitely have trouble reconciling anything like this concept within them. Sometimes, it is the moralist who finds themselves engaged in these activities under the shadows of the night.

What does healing from this behavior look like? Certainly, there must be a better way than to cut off all sexuality from a person’s life. Look friends, while monks and nuns take vows of celibacy for their religious orders, it is hard to believe they don’t have sexual energy within them. They are living, breathing human beings. Therefore, they must have this vital source of life flowing through them, too. Of course, you can definitely make the case that this is not so and say that I’m reaching for some nebulous idea that makes no sense. That’s fine. Just remember, though, that the same energy that flows through you flows through me. It can be at different levels because of lifestyle, environment, false beliefs, true beliefs, etc. But I cannot deny the fact that I have a sexual soul. You do, too.

Writing about this subject matter for me is quite challenging. I have to dig deep within my own sexual soul to come up with words. There is nothing wrong with the fact that I have a desire for a healthy, loving, intimate, sexual relationship with a woman. Yes, I know there are men and women who will read this and are my LGBT brothers and sisters. I’d want the same thing for you, too. One theory bandied about among people looking for a more intimate path involves developing this type of connection through acts of service. From being involved with causes that matter to you personally or giving time to charitable organizations and groups, among many other types of service, it gets a man or woman out of their own inner struggle (if there is one) and allows a soul to mend. This can bring a lot of fulfillment and gratitude to an individual while he or she seeks nurture and security.

The sexual soul, again, is a vital part of life. It is the life force that helps bring human beings to life. Doesn’t it make a little sense to take time and really grasp what may cause you from enjoying this aspect of life? It would take another column for me to explain all the ups, downs and circles involving my own sexual soul over my lifetime. There have been relatively few healthy sexual experiences. I’ve delved into, for me, some of the darkest areas around sex that no person should be left to explore by themselves. The atypical “dark-room-and-socks” experience has typified my sexuality for far too long.

Thankfully, I’ve been able to move from this place into a spot where I can deeply appreciate my own sexual energy. I don’t waste it on experiences that deplete this source of love and intimacy. My sexual soul is active and vibrant, despite not having a girlfriend in my life right now. Opening myself up to new ways of intimacy is not easy. It’s scary and frightening, yet I’d rather take this path now than continuing on an internal mission of soulful destruction.

As much as my own sexual soul deserves attention, so does yours. I am definitely not the final answer when it comes to human sexuality, and for that you can be grateful. However it looks and whatever form or destination awaits you, I highly recommend giving your own sexual soul the love, attention, nurturing and grace that it so deserves. You will be a better person for doing so, and the world will bow at your feet.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Be Better in Bed this Year

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

Consider this your better-sex boot camp

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need a working knowledge of 52 sex positions or a background in porn to be ridiculously good in bed. Instead, it comes down to more subtle (and realistic) factors that you may already posses. And if you don’t, we’re here to help you hone the skills you really need to blow your partner’s mind.

YOU’RE NOT JUDGMENTAL

Whether it’s hearing out your partner’s fantasy or allowing yourself to really identify your own, being open to different desires and turn-ons is essential in a partner, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. “Remember it’s all in the realm of fantasy—it’s not something you ever have to do,” says Kerner. So put aside your judgments and really listen to the desires of you and your partner. You may find that you’re into some really interesting stuff. (And if that happens to be BDSM, here’s how to have the “bad girl” sex of your dreams!)

YOU’RE INNOVATIVE

We see the arm of a couch, you see a great prop for doggie style. We see a bra, you see a bondage tool. Being creative and looking for new ways to spice things up is crucial in a lover, says sex and relationship therapist Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples. “Someone who says ‘let’s dress up,’ or ‘let’s go into the closet,’ or anything that’s a bit more interesting is great,” says Schwartz. Get creative with these 11 places you need to have sex at least once in your life.

YOU THINK ABOUT SEX—A LOT

And we don’t just mean while you’re getting busy or whenever you see that so-sexy-it-should-be-illegal guy at your gym. “Sex has a strong mental component,” says Kerner. So pay attention when you have a sensual thought or feel randomly aroused throughout the day, and don’t immediately dismiss it. “Allow yourself to feel eroticized and observe what’s sexy around you,” says Kerner. Still don’t believe your brain and your libido are connected? Check out exactly what’s going on in your brain during an orgasm.

YOU’RE ABLE TO PUT SOMEONE ELSE’S NEEDS ABOVE YOUR OWN

Practicing compassion in every area of your life is clutch, but practicing it in the bedroom can make you a seriously good sex partner. We’re not suggesting youalways put the other person first (after all, your orgasms are important too), but it can be really hot to focus on pleasing your partner every once in a while, just for the sake of satisfying them. “Maybe it’s going for it in the morning when your boyfriend typically wants to have sex,” says Kerner. Or maybe it’s indulging in a position they love or treating them to oral that isn’t just a precursor to the main event, says Kerner. It’s not about being selfless all the time, but rather about treating your partner how you’d like to be treated. We promise, these generous acts will not go unnoticed.

YOU’LL TRY (ALMOST) EVERYTHING ONCE

“It’s hard to be good in bed if you only do what you know and don’t do anything but that,” says Schwartz. “You don’t have to be willing to swing from trees, but you should have that feeling of ‘it could be fun!’ or ‘why not?'” Obviously, if your partner is dying to have a threesome and you’re not into it, then it’s perfectly justified to say no. But when it comes to new tricks, tips, and techniques, we suggest giving it shot—like these six adventurous sex tips from erotic novelists. Hey, you might love it.

YOU ENJOY SOLO TIME

No, not with your Netflix, with your vagina. Someone who is in tune with her body and aware of what feels good will be a better lover and will enjoy sex more. Women can forget how fun and pleasurable masturbation can be, especially when they’re in a relationship; and although some may think that masturbating will make you less interested in sex, very often the opposite is true, says Kerner. So use these self-love tips and check out 21 ways to have even more fun with masturbation. And if you feel like you’re neglecting your partner, there’s no harm in inviting them to watch.

YOU’RE NOT SELF-CONSCIOUS

Think of the best sex you’ve ever had—chances are your partner was passionate, enthusiastic, and just oozing sex appeal. We’re willing to bet they weren’t worried about their body, making sure the lights were off, or complaining about their belly. We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: Confidence is the sexiest asset you can have. “Someone who says, ‘I’m sexy any way I look,’ pretty much has you believing it,” says Schwartz. For tips, read these 10 ways to be confident, ballsy, and sexy as hell in bed.

YOU KNOW WHEN TO GET A LITTLE LOUD AND CRAZY

Being able to let loose, let go, and be a bit uncensored is a great attribute in a partner. For one thing, you’ll be less inhibited, which is always sexy. Another reason: Men said that one thing they really want in a lover is for them to make some more noise, says Schwartz of a study she conducted for The Normal Bar. “Men aren’t always sure what women want and if she’s enjoying herself if she’s not giving them any direction. They want to use those sounds as direction.” This can be anything from a well-timed moan to words or phrases, like “harder,” “slower,” or “right there.” Get more advice on the art of dirty talk, right here.

YOU’RE SPONTANEOUS

When we asked real men about the hottest thing a woman has ever done during sex, a major theme emerged: taking the reins and doing something surprising or spontaneous. From waking them up with a blowjob or waiting on the bed in lingerie, these are little things that make a huge impact because they’re so out-of-the-blue. Get some ideas with these sex tips from real women.

YOU’RE PHYSICALLY FIT

Researchers know that being physically fit and active is a big aphrodisiac for women, but it can also make you better in bed. For instance, exercise boosts focus, revs up your libido, enhances your endurance, and helps you gain confidence. So pull double-duty with this better-sex workout.

YOU CAN LAUGH AT YOURSELF

Someone who is great in bed can see the fun and humor in any situation, because come on, sex should be a good time. As sex expert Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., recently told us, “You may not remember the strongest orgasm you’ve ever had, but you’ll remember the time you fell off the bed because you were so into it that you didn’t realize you were on the edge.” Weird noises, sounds, and failed positions happen, but if you can roll with it and still enjoy yourself, that’s what makes someone amazing in the sack.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Be Proud of Your Body During Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Getting intimate is the high point of any relationship and the feeling after a good sexual encounter is what makes the moment even more beautiful.

But are we body positive and do we feel nice after an enjoyable act? We decode why it is important to feel good about your body and how it’s perfectly fine if you keep the lights on during the act.

Are you body positive?

The fact that you feel good about your body, despite its flaws is important. Stand in front of the mirror with nothing on, and make sure you look at your body very closely. See how you feel to know the answer. Factors that determine body positive sex

Unconditional love

It’s all about looking at each other beyond the physical, mental and social parameters. Mira Nehra, a relationship counsellor, says, “It is about making sure both the partners experience extreme pleasure while having sex, in spite of the several imperfections they have.”

Acceptance

With love comes acceptance. The fact that you know your partner has certain flaws and you still love him/her, determines body positive sex. Psychologist Raina Gopichand, feels that acceptance of one’s body is the biggest achievement in life. “We always strive to look our best. Hence, loving yourself is something that each one of us should practise. It helps us improve our confidence and the quality of our relationships, especially the quality of sex,” she adds.

Enjoying the act

If both the partners thoroughly enjoy lovemaking, then there is absolutely no scope of feeling awkward about their bodies. It is important to make each other feel comfortable while having sex. Foreplay is an important aspect here. Exploring each other’s body before the act helps you get into the comfort zone. “If both the partners derive immense pleasure while having sex, it does not leave a scope to find faults. In fact, it is not just about people who have imperfect bodies; it is about each one of us who aspire to have the perfect body to enjoy sex. Intimacy is not all about your body shape, it’s about how you feel during the act,” says sexologist Dr Rajan Bhonsle.

What is the movement about

This online movement hopes to convey what it means to be healthy. The movement also reinstates that body acceptance is not just about losing weight. It challenges stereotypes of what larger bodies can accomplish and that body acceptance is the recognition and celebration of your body.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Better Sex After Childbirth

by zfortadminin Sex

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.

London: Resuming sex with your partner after childbirth may be a matter of two months on an average but when passion does return to the bedroom again, it comes with a new vigour, enabling couples to enjoy the act of lovemaking more, new research suggests.

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.

But new parents on an average wait for about 58 days before they resume sex with their partner, according to the study.

Although most women fear that their partner would not find them attractive after childbirth, the findings of the survey conducted by Britain-based parenting site Channel Mum showed that men actually prefer their partner’s post-birth figure as it is more curvy and fuller.

Just 14 per cent of new mothers feel body confident after giving birth, Daily Mail reported citing the study.

“Having a baby is the biggest change you can bring into a relationship, so it is wonderful to see it can bring couples closer together rather than drive them apart,” Siobhan Freegard, founder of Channel Mum, was quoted as saying.

The research, however, showed that men are more keen to have sex after the wait than women.

While fathers want sex twice a week on average, mothers remain content with sex just once a week.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article