Tag: advice about sex

How P*rn is Like Drugs

by zfortadminin Sex

“Porn is all of the sex — without the body… It gives you every aspect of a sexual encounter without the physical touch or the smells.” – Dr. William Struthers

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Top medical researchers explained earlier this month at a pastors gathering in North Carolina how pornography use physically affects the human brain, revealing information not well-known outside of the medical and scientific communities.

“Porn is all of the sex — without the body,” Dr. William Struthers, a professor of neuroscience and psychology at Wheaton College in Chicago, told TheBlaze. “It gives you every aspect of a sexual encounter without the physical touch or the smells.”

During his presentation at the event, dubbed “The Set Free Summit,” Struthers explained and elaborated on many topics, from how the human brain changes under repeated pornography use to how the brain naturally has its own “mirroring” effect to how natural bodily hormones — such as oxytocin — can bond a person to pixels on a screen.

In a sit-down interview with TheBlaze, Struthers revealed why a person can become addicted to pornography.

“When we talk about pornography as a drug, we’ve really got the cart before the horse. Really, the only reason why any drugs are addictive is that they act on the brain’s natural pleasure systems,” he said. “Sex is a great example of what the brain is made for when it comes to pleasure. Sex is very pleasurable for human beings the majority of the time.”

“The brain has these natural pleasure circuits — these circuits that are designed to give us the feeling of closeness, of excitement, of love — and so the only reason why these drugs, like crack, morphine, methamphetamine, or any of those have any pleasurable consequences at all is because they act on these natural systems that are already there,” Struthers continued. “So a better way to talk about heroin is that heroin is actually injected orgasm.”

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You’re Hot When… You Believe in Yourself

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A

‘Sexuality is based on attraction.  And attraction is based on what you put out in the world which means, in order to be hot, sometimes you gotta go deep and look at numero uno, yep, that’s YOU’

‘In this episode, A’s dead mom comes to her in a dream and tells her the #1 disempowering thing she’s doing to herself… which you may be doing too!’

T&A are In Bed With Tripp & the Podcast “How to Talk to Girls”!

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

ta-in-bed

T&A get personal with the man behind the smart and honest podcast, How To Talk to Girls. His experience has helped guys open up and develop themselves for the betterment of men and women dating. We are grateful!

On The Podcast: T&A get solid advice from a guy who’s learned the hard way about dating and talking to women. A social scientist of his own accord, Tripp shares some of his fascinating insights that are also- practical. From key differences in men and women’s communication styles, attraction and the friend zone, this is a great conversation to listen to if you want to be more natural, and succesfful, with women without having to follow douchy, dis-ingenuous ‘bro’ how-to’s. Listen here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tatalksex/podcast

Check Tripp out @Trippadvice

My Boyfriend Didn’t Believe I Had an STI

by Rachel Meghanin Sex

I got the call from my gynecologist while in a van with four of my friends.

I was sitting in the front seat when I got a call from an unknown number. Obviously I don’t usually pick up when there isn’t a caller ID, but for some reason that was the day I decided to do so. I picked up the phone to hear my gyno’s voice.

“I just wanted to let you know that the results of your Pap smear are in. You’ve tested positive for HPV.” He didn’t sugar coat it.

Hanging up the phone in shock, my friends started to ask me what was wrong. I’m really bad at hiding my feelings, so I told them. They encouraged me to call my ex-boyfriend and let him know. So when we pulled over for gas, I got out of the car and called him.

This was not a good time in my life for me. My ex was extremely abusive to the point where I had a breakdown and temporarily moved across the country to get away from him. But even then, he was still torturing me from a distance. He would call me and tell me how much he missed me, but would insert backhanded compliments and straight digs about me at a time where I was extremely vulnerable. I was only 20 then, and he was my first love, so I had no idea how to fully rid myself of him.

He picked up the phone, surprised to hear from me in the middle of the day. His voice was sweet, but I knew it was just a disguise for how menacing he could truly be. I timidly told him the news.

“So my gyno called.”

“…..and?”

“And….he said I tested positive for HPV.”

My ex was silent on the other line for a moment. I didn’t know what he would say. I was hoping for some sort of support. Instead, I got questioned.

“Are you sure you got it from me?”

“Yes. You’re the only person I’ve had sex with in the past year.”

“What about the guy you lost your virginity to?”

The guy I lost my virginity to was someone I had sex with when I was 18 to get my first time “out of the way”. He was also a virgin at the time, and ended up coming out of the closet two months later. I got tested immediately after having sex with him, and everything was completely healthy. So there’s no way it could have been him.

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This Cartoon Can Lead to Mind-Blowing Sex. Tonight.

by zfortadminin Sex

Here’s how to help your lover (or yourself) discover those spots. Trust us, you’re going to want to share this.

It should come as no surprise that it was a man, an Italian one no less, who claimed to discover the clitoris in the 1550s. Hundreds of years later, we’re still learning that the Little Man in the Boat is really just the tip of a white-hot iceberg.

Whether you’re on solo expedition or with a partner, why not make it a no-pants party? By simply exploring the capabilities of the whole clit, you could find that the best sex of your life is right at your fingertips, if you’ll pardon the pun. So, let’s roll up our sleeves (literally) and get to know our nubs, for to know them is to love them.

Know your history

Start with this quirky and charming cartoon by French animator Lori Malépart-Traversy as an icebreaker. Her award-winning three-minute short guides us through various men’s claims that they were the Chris Columbus of the clit. After viewing you might be a little closer to discovering the multifaceted areas of stimulation found on the clit or at least a little intimated.

Le clitoris – Animated Documentary Trailer (2016) from Lori Malépart-Traversy on Vimeo.

Now, let’s see what’s happening below the belt.

Know your body

Surely we’ve all met Captain Rosebud, the pink helmeted sentry above our vaginas. Often referred to as the female penis, blood rushes to the Commander in Queef when we’re turned on, yielding little lady boners.

While we are grateful for his years of service, turns out the Cap has minions fanned out in a wishbone-shaped formation (the legs) on either side of the vagina itching for active duty. The clit extends two to three inches down either side of your vagina and is populated with your own personal foot soldiers.

These overlooked “G men,” if not put to use, can atrophy just like a muscle.

Anxious lovers might rush to poke and press on your main chicklet like a stalled elevator button and often when we masturbate, we stick to the mountaintop and ignore the valleys.

A woman’s orgasm, however, is not just one and done. Stimulating the top dog (glans clitoris) with its 8,000 points of pleasure will, naturally, cause you to come faster, but a slow grind incorporating the entire clitoris (corpus cavernosum) can produce mind-blowing multiples, but also the elusive, deeper vaginal orgasm.

It can also be the gatekeeper of the G-spot, which we believe is a bundle of nerves located inside your vagina along the vaginal ceiling more towards your stomach than back. Whether or not it is an extension of the clitoris is a long-debated topic.

When you’re super juiced or even a few minutes after a session with the pocket rocket, explore your inner labia and apply pressure with your fingers or the entire palm of your hand. You may feel something akin to a pulse. That’s your clitoris at work! Now, take it one step further: Insert two fingers inside your sugar walls. Feel that little pebbly patch? That’s your G spot!

Psst! Want to learn more about your G-spot? Love TV’s got you. Become a member and learn more about how to hit the spot, so to speak.

Find your orgasm

All right, we made contact with the G-spot. Now, take it out for a spin. At this point, bringing yourself to climax shouldn’t require that much spelunking. Stick around for the fireworks and let yourself feel your own orgasm. You might find that your vaginal walls are actually pulsating and tingling. Mazel Tov!

Now, let’s mix it up, take it behind closed doors and explore sex positions with your partner targeting that area.

We’ve found that Doggie Style, the Valedictorian and the Pinball Wizard, positions where your partner’s pelvis knocks against your clit in more of a circular or up and down grinding motion, can produce neighbor waking/angel singing results. Toss in some cunnilingus and consider your world (and your partner’s) officially rocked.

Make tonight’s sex the best sex ever with 7 more intoxicating sex positions.

Becoming Sex Positive: The Tentative Journey of a ‘Good Girl’

by Lacey McKennain LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, Sex, SEX TIPS

Turns out the world (and sex) is less scary and more fun than I was told.

My husband and I have known each other for about 15 years and are polyamorous. But we didn’t start out that way. We opened our marriage up about 5 years ago and it has been a journey of self-discovery for both of us.

It’s also been a journey into a more sex positive philosophy for me. Sex-positivity is a philosophy of human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as healthy and pleasurable, encouraging sexual pleasure and experimentation rather than shaming it.

Growing up as a so-called good southern girl

I grew up in a small town in a conservative state. I also grew up watching “The Princess Bride” and “The Little Mermaid” so my ideas of love and romance (and sex when I grew older) were rooted in tradition. When I got married at 25 I was proud of the fact that I had only slept with two guys. It pains me to write this now but I thought that made me better than women who had “slept around.”

I look back on that and realize how archaic that is. I can also trace that attitude to what I now consider to misogynistic ideas of females and even rape culture. “Good girls don’t show a lot of skin” and “good girls don’t sleep with lots of guys.” Who is deciding what number constitutes “lots” anyway?

As I approached 30, I began reading some pretty salacious books thanks to ereaders and the proliferation of erotic romance. Without fully acknowledging it, I started to wonder if I had missed out on something having dated so little.

I truly was happy with my marriage or didn’t wish I’d ended up somewhere different. But I did start to wish I’d had more varied experiences along the way to my happy marriage. This is one of the reasons poly was a good fit for my husband and me.

Good southern girl

Also, check out LOVE TV’s A Beginner’s Guide To Ethical Non Monogamous Relationships. 

The good southern girl starts to explore

My first dating experience as a married woman was with a friend. It took me six months to admit to myself that I felt something for him and another 3 months to really do anything about it. But once I realized that the feeling wasn’t one-sided, the flood gates opened.

I threw myself into that relationship with abandon, knowing that it would end someday and that ending might be difficult. But I didn’t care. I’d spent so much time second guessing myself that it felt amazing to let go.

Once I got married I never thought I’d have sex with another man. I never thought to grow close with another man. I never thought I’d make French toast naked in someone else’s kitchen after a leisurely morning of sex. That relationship did end but I am grateful for all i learned from it.

All of this was a whole new world for me. For someone who never broke the rules, I was breaking lots of them and having crazy (for me) amounts of fun.

The good southern girl discovers the enrichment of new experiences

If this was so much fun, what other amazing experiences had I missed out on? Everyone else complained about dating. Even knowing that, I wanted to know what that experience was like. I wanted firsthand experience with the highs and lows of dating.

They say variety is the spice of life and I am only beginning to experience that variety. What else can I experience that will help me learn about the world? What can relationships with others help me learn? And what I can learn about myself in the process? I am excited about the possibilities.

Is this what they meant by “The world is your oyster?”

Life begins outside your comfort zone

I didn’t set out to find a casual sex partner but that’s what I did. Through online dating I met a man who was fun, smart, and pushed me into new experiences just enough. And although I wasn’t ready to open up with all my desires, he taught me new things and new a surprising amount about my body considering how long we hadn’t known each other. Casual sex? Check.

I vacationed in Europe one summer, most of it with my husband. I did however have a few nights on my own. I set a goal for myself to have a one night stand. It would be fun to sleep with a sexy European.

Thanks to the wonders of Tinder, I achieved my goal. After talking to a man for a few hours, I agreed to meet him. We went to a bar not far away and after a few drinks, I asked him if he wanted to come back to my room. I hope we didn’t bother the neighbors too much! It was fun and exactly what I wanted, only better. One night stand? Check. Affair (albeit short) with a sexy Italian guy? Check.

good southern girl makes out with cowboy

Lessons of your youth should die a slow death

I still have moments where I judge myself for my wants and desires. And I fear the judgement of others. But I know that’s the “Good Girl” talking and I have learned a lot about the world that she was never taught.

Being sex positive isn’t always easy for me. But I have close friends I can confide in and it helps to hear that they too have similar feelings and work to overcome them.

Missed opportunities turned into fully appreciated opportunities

I have moments when I regret that my world didn’t get bigger until my 30s. I said as much to one of my lovers. He told me he thought of it as “waiting until we could fully appreciate and learn from new experiences, and be mature enough have those experiences safely.”

That statement has really stuck with me. Would I have appreciated all the world has to offer in my 20’s? Would I have been responsible with these new experiences? It’s easy to regret not finding all this out when I was younger but regret is a waste of time. And I am all about maximizing my time and sucking the marrow out of life.

 

If you’re thinking about opening up your marriage or exploring new adventures in your marriage, become a full member of LOVE TV and talk with love gurus and relationship experts about your love and your life.