Sex Archives - Page 8 of 29 - Love TV

Category: Sex

Understanding Your Sexual Energy and Sexuality

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sexuality is a nature in us, as beings of life-energy, and, like every aspect in us, this nature also requires conscious balancing to ensure that we experience, and express, sexuality in a manner that’s aligned with wisdom along with enjoyment/appreciation of the same. As I’ve mentioned in the previous posts, there are 6 natures, or dimensions of thinking, in life-energy – Love, Joy, Hatred, Fear, Boredom and Sexuality. As a being, you cannot do away with any of these natures and finding an inner balance requires you to bring an aware understanding towards each of these natures, in you, and from this understanding let go of any imbalanced resistance/suppression, or over-identification, towards them, thus allowing for a balanced expression to become the norm.

The journey towards finding conscious balance is a very “personal” journey, and every “body” brings a unique challenge, or opportunity, towards finding this balance. It doesn’t matter how mature/enlightened you are as a soul (possibly having the experience of several lifetimes) you can still find it challenging to work with a human body, in conditions of physical living with other humans, especially when the body comes with its own imbalances (acquired from a gene pool) or when it comes with some specific physical make-up that makes it challenging to function within the “fixated” views of the society.

I get several emails and comments concerning the aspect of sexuality and sexual energy, and I would like to address some common themes here; this post would be mostly focused on gaining a balanced perspective/understanding of the various nuances of sexuality and the deal of finding inner freedom, and thus finding inner balance, towards sexual expression. Finding inner freedom is the foundation towards finding inner balance – without freedom you cannot align with wisdom, and without wisdom you cannot find a balance. When you are in a “bondage”, either out of fear-based suppression or over-indulgent identification, there is no space for wisdom and you are purely motivated, and pulled around, but your “imprisonment” – it doesn’t matter what excuses you make to justify it to yourself. And, this is true for all the 6 dimensions/natures in life-energy – you can be a prisoner to love, to hatred, to fear, to sex, to boredom or to joy. Finding inner freedom from all the 6 dimensions is the pre-requisite to finding an inner balance (and thus connecting with a balanced expression/experience of these dimensions/natures).

It’s very important to understand that inner freedom is just the “foundation”, it’s not supposed to be the “end-point” – a lot of spiritual teachings confuse people into believing that finding inner freedom is the end-point of some sort, and hence propagate some ambiguous pointers on “detachment” as some ultimate goal. Inner freedom is simply a foundation towards balanced living, it gives you the required “ground” to start enjoying the expression of your nature in a balanced manner.

The subject of sexuality usually entails the following aspects of discussion – sexual orientation/preferences, sexuality combined with relationships (expressions like monogamy, polygamy, polyamory and open-relationships in general), masturbation or self-pleasure, celibacy, kinks/fetishes, spiritual sex and sexual hang-ups.

Understanding sexual orientation

There is very common tendency to mis-understand sexual preferences with “relationship orientation”. For example, being gay/homosexual is not just a sexual preference it’s a relationship-orientation in a human. It’s very common for people to mis-understand homo-sexuality with bi-sexuality mostly because both the terms contain the word “sexuality” it’s assumed that both have to do purely with sexual preference, which is not really the case. Being gay is not just about sex, it’s also about emotions, it involves your “heart” – a gay person has the make-up to fall in “love” with another person of the same sex wanting expressions like emotional bonding, marriage, family, etc, just like regular couples (“Lesbian” in the true sense is a woman who is gay). A gay man/woman would feel the same tingling emotions of love, in his/her heart, towards a person of the same-sex, just as a straight man/woman would feel towards a person of opposite sex. Bi-sexuality, on the other hand, is simply an expression of sexual exploration based on curiosity, or need for an adventure or entertainment, as a preference. Just because you have a bi-sexual encounter doesn’t make you gay.

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Power up Your Libido for Blissful Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Great tips to naturally increase your libido for a pleasurable experience!

Low libido? How to turn yourself on and get your sex drive back in gear—no pill necessary.

My libido has never been particularly off the charts but, lately, I’ve come to feel that—due to the perpetually barren desert between my legs—I’ll never find my way out of this vast Sahara of a sex life. It’s disconcerting. It’s frustrating. But I’m not the only one.

Per ABC News, a study found that, of women between the ages of 18 to 44, about 10 percent complain about low sexual desire.

If that doesn’t make you feel any better (or at least less alone), then you should know that those low female libido levels are almost inevitable. After all, the cards are stacked against us! Your sex drive can be affected by a (huge) number of things, including stress, exhaustion, low body image, performance anxiety, depression, the medications used to treat depression, birth control pills, medical conditions such as chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, menopause, previous sexual abuse, and… well… really inept foreplay. Who among us hasn’t experienced multiple items on that list, some of them simultaneously?

And yet, despite being innocent victims of our own bodies, we still feel guilty. Self-conscious. Weird. Yup. Even in the midst of not wanting to get it on, many of us wish desperately that we… well… wanted to get it on.

Luckily, you can turn your libido around—and you don’t need a pill to do it. By simply attempting sex more often—despite how unaroused you may be feeling—you can train yourself to want it more. That’s why sex therapists like Ian Kerner suggest that couples try to have sex at least once a week. Beyond that, however, you can trick your libido into overdrive by doing the following five things:

1. Foreplay… all day long. We’re not suggesting that you grope each other throughout the day, patting bums and grabbing boobs. Because when it comes to desire, it’s about more than just the physicality of skin on skin. That’s why it’s tough for some of us to get turned on by a quick caress of the arm, followed by a beeline toward the boobage. Rather, we need to feel desired, lusted after, and… appreciated. Make a habit of flirting throughout the day, and making those small gestures that show you care… things like folding his socks for him or picking up his favorite (sort of disgusting) snack from the supermarket. Feeling appreciated will most likely make him want to show his appreciation, too, making your days a non-stop love-fest. But either way, even the act of making these small gestures can be enough to remind you why you’re with this guy, and how much you love him.

2. Non-demand touching. Intimacy is about more than full-on intercourse, and it could be that the anxiety you’re experiencing due to the recent lack of sex has caused you to forget this. If you’re feeling so much pressure to want sex that you’re not allowing yourself to relax and enjoy the rest of it, we have a problem. Why not take sex temporarily off the table? Indulge in a no-pressure makeout session, hump the heck out of each other, or just allow yourself to relearn the way intimacy with your partner can feel. Explore each other’s bodies, using different types of touch, and communicate with each other about what feels good, and what doesn’t. All that touching and rubbing and caressing could quickly get you hot again, and at a time when you’re not expecting it, or actively seeking it out.

3. Get your heart racing. And I don’t mean between the sheets. Giving yourself an adrenaline rush spikes the brain’s natural amphetamines—dopamine and norepinephrin—thereby making you more aroused. So do something unexpected and exxxtreme together, like hang gliding or jet skiing. Or do something less exxxtreme, but still new to the two of you. Take a wine making or dance class. Go for a spontaneous drive to anywhere. Simply put: have fun together.

4. Take care of yourself. We mentioned above that things such as exhaustion and stress could adversely affect your libido. So it’s only logical that getting plenty of sleep would help it. Other stress-busters? Regular exercise. Sunshine. Laughter. A healthy diet. And—Oh! What a coincidence!—sex. If your low libido makes the idea of sex unappealing, try bringing in some outside help: sex toys, lubricant or a sexual arousal oil like the one from our partners at Zestra, who are offering YourTango readers a free sample—click on one of the ads on this page to find out how you can get yours.

5. Put it at the top of your to-do list. Finally, be sure to make sex a priority. Because it’s so easy to let it fall to the bottom of your list and, as we mentioned above, practice makes perfect. If you have to, schedule it in, just as you would any other doctor appointment or business meeting. Because it’s that important. Scheduled sex may feel contrived at first but, soon, it will be something to look forward to. And, just as with training wheels, there will come a time when you won’t need that schedule anymore. Because you’ll be bumping like bunny rabbits.

How do you get yourself in the mood?

 

How To Reclaim Your Sexual Voice Through Orgasmic Yoga

by zfortadminin Sex1 Comment on How To Reclaim Your Sexual Voice Through Orgasmic Yoga

One of the more challenging things for many people when it comes to sex is to find out what really turns them on after having removed all of their shame and judgment. The next big step is to then state their desires aloud to themselves and to their intimate partners. It is easier said than done because it requires time, patience and dedication.

Recently, one of my sex coaching clients, Vicky, started our session by exclaiming “Holy shit. I think it’s actually revolutionary what I’m doing. I am practicing being sexual. I can now actually use the word ‘sex’ without feeling self-conscious or guilty. I am finding my sexual voice. And damn, it does take practice!”

Vicky has been practicing what is often referred to as “Orgasmic Yoga” which, in reality, is not about yoga or orgasms! It’s really just another name for developing a core erotic practice.

She has been on a 30-day practice schedule of working solo with her own body; exploring it on a physical and emotional level. Orgasmic Yoga is a pleasurable, intimate and transformative discipline that is practiced while sexually aroused. The goal is to develop or reclaim erotic capacities. Some individuals practice it to reawaken the awesome feelings in their body. Others practice it to discover those feelings for the first time.

Taking the time to participate in a mindful, planned solo erotic practice allows the individual to focus on what is substantial in their sexuality rather than what is superficial.

Vicky has also been working to identify her peak erotic experiences in order to understand what gives her authentic sexual pleasure. The desired result is to give herself the ability to better communicate her sexual needs to herself and to her partner. This takes guts, and it takes time. It can feel like a radical step to actually practice being sexual. But Vicky, like the countless women and men that I work with, have decided they really want to own their own sexuality; that it’s their time.

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Take Control, Initiate Sex with Your Partner

by zfortadminin Sex

You’ve heard all about the benefits of having sex—it can improve your health, help you sleep and, obviously, strengthen your relationship. And the best way to have more sex is to ask for it. But for some women, that’s easier said than done. It may be because you can’t figure out a way to get the message across, or you’re exhausted, shy or just plain out of practice, says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of Sex Talk. No matter what the reason, if you’re not sure how to give your man the hint, read on for nine tips to initiate romance.

1. Put it in writing.
Sometimes, saying, “I want you, now” out loud can feel intimidating or embarrassing, especially if that kind of talk doesn’t come naturally to you, says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., a couples and sex therapist and author of Getting the Sex You Want. But writing down your desires can help shake off your inhibitions, since you can get your point across without face-to-face contact. Pop a note in your husband’s coat pocket before you leave for work, send him an email (to his personal account!) or tap out a quick text message. What you say depends on your relationship, but, “Try to break out of your comfort zone to help build erotic anticipation,” says Dr. Nelson. Texting things like, “Can’t wait until tonight,” or “Having a naughty thought about you right now” can work to build excitement for what’s to come. Or, Dr. Nelson says, you can be more graphic than you might feel comfortable doing in person, saying something like, “Tonight, I’m getting into bed naked and will do XYZ to you…”

2. Establish an “I’m in the mood” code.

Between the two of you, come up with a word or phrase that is a secret call for sex. “Make it something that you can say in front of your kids, or even your in-laws,” says Dr. Nelson. The contrast between how ordinary the code sounds to others and what it really means to you stirs up excitement and fosters intimacy. Try something like, “Honey, can you help me balance the checkbook later?” or, “I really have a headache!”

3. Get—and stay––in the mood.

When it comes to summoning sex, getting yourself in the mood is half the battle. “You are more likely to initiate sex later if you pay attention to your own feelings first,” says Dr. Zoldbrod. Look at some erotic images, such as those in the Kama Sutra, or read a few passages from a favorite romance novel to put you in a sexual state of mind. If that’s not your speed, just spend some time thinking in detail about the last time you had sex, which will help rev your appetite. Dr. Zoldbrod also recommends going for a walk to boost endorphins, wearing lingerie to work or even thinking about your favorite celebrity crush. By reminding yourself to keep sex at the forefront of your mind all day, the positive vibes will last well until bedtime, inspiring you to make a move.

4. Send a nonverbal cue.

If verbal requests for sex are out of your comfort zone, don’t worry: non-verbal initiation can be just as powerful. Try a kiss on his neck or a little ear-nibbling while he’s on the computer or watching TV, suggests Dr. Nelson. Then escalate the gesture by stroking his arm while you’re sitting near each other. Ramping it up slowly like this serves two purposes: First, the element of surprise can boost sexual feelings; secondly, the non-verbal come-on can be unexpected, which could pave the way for spontaneous sex, says Dr. Nelson.

5. Try something new together.

Explore unknown territory as a couple, whether that means attending a free art class at your library, going to see a foreign movie or signing up for a volunteer opportunity in your community. “When couples do new things together they produce more dopamine, the feel-good brain chemical,” which will help make you feel closer, says Dr. Zoldbrod. And if you enjoyed that foreign film or art class and ended up making love when you got home? That tradition will likely catch on, so doing it after any excursion may become a delicious habit.

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7 Signs You’re A Total Sex Goddess In The Sheets

by zfortadminin Sex

If you can’t keep your hands off each other, you’re probably doing something right!

It’s something every girl has wondered: am I good at sex? Sure, like kissing, much of it may have to do with compatibility—what might be hot for one guy could be just plain freaky to the next. But no matter what your guy’s preferences are, here are the 7 signs to know that you’re rocking his socks off!

1. He clenches his hands and feet.

A physical sign that a guy is in complete ecstasy is if he’s clenching his hands and feet. When you see your guy doing this, take it as a sign he’s holding on for dear life, making sure that the encounter doesn’t end prematurely. After all, what you’re doing to him at the time might be just a little too good.

2. He wants to do it again right away.

When you’ve really blown his mind, he won’t be able to get enough. Just thinking about the sex you had will be so arousing that he’ll want to do it again. So, if he seems particularly virile, pat yourself on the back sister…you’re doing something right.

3. He remains really flirty afterwards.

Another sign that he can’t stop thinking about the sex you’ve had is if he stays heavily flirty afterwards. Many guys say that after an amazing time, they’ll send multiple saucy texts to their girl to show her how into her they are. And with the extra flirting, they’re building up anticipation for next time.

4. He’s very touchy feeling through out the day.

A guy who is into you will probably be touch feely (unless he’s really shy or completely opposed to PDA of course). A sign you’re having great sex is if he becomes even more touchy feely. Quite literally, he’s so aroused, he’s having a hard time keeping his hands to himself. While flirty texts may be his verbal reminder of how much he wants you, his constant touches are his physical reminder.

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Sexual Intimacy and Its Connection with Aural Energy

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

We have evolved both in terms of our thinking and approach towards life. The freedom to choose a sexual partner without any hesitation has also increased. But there is nothing such as casual or meaningless sex. When we get intimate with anybody we tend to receive their positivity or negativity and unknowingly incorporate it in our everyday lives.

Even if we do not meet the other person ever again, or if we do have a continuous physical intimacy with our partner, each time we get into the act, we receive a part of their energy into our aura and leave a part of ours into theirs.

So each time we have sex, we create an energy cord with our partner. Their thoughts, feelings, desires, etc., are left as impressions in our aura, which unless cleansed, stays with us. If the same is done under the influence of alcohol, we lower our natural protective field, which further exposes us to negative & discordant energies. If we have sex with a positive person, we are bound to receive her/his positivity and vice-a-versa with a negative person.

Jeffery Armstrong in his article, The Ancient Art and Science of Sexual Healing says, “..what could be accomplished by bringing the male and the female body together. The answer to this question is physical, biological, vital, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And since our bodies share characteristics with the animal realm, it is obviously possible for us to be pulled in both an upward and downward direction through our endowment of energies.”

Power behind the Act

Sexual energy is one of the most powerful form of energy available to living beings, but it is only man who has the intelligence to truly understand it. If we learn the true art of sexual healing, we can deduce a way to convert sexual energy into creative & healing energy.

Osho in his book ‘From Sex to Supeconscious’ emphasized the presence of God in the act of coitus and closeness to the divine in an orgasm. “The coupling of a man and a woman has a very deep significance: the ego evaporates in this assimilation of two human beings. A person who really understands the essence of this unity, of this longing for love and oneness, can also comprehend the meaning of yet another kind of unity – a yogi unites; an ascetic unites; a saint unites; a meditator unites. A person is also united in intercourse: his identity merges with that of the other person, and they become one.”

In spite of all these positive connections, we approach sex with indifference, guilt and shame, which devoid us from experiencing its true power.

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Female Orgasm. Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.

by zfortadminin Sex

‘The orgasm is no longer a mere biological function used in procreation, nor the side effect of casual pleasure … it is the very centre of the human experience and ultimately determines the happiness of the human race.’ says Wilhelm Reich

Sexuality and orgasm are widely influenced by past experiences, relationships with others, the culture in which we live, combined with the biochemical reactions in our bodies.

In western culture these factors are not discussed widely or openly enough and women are left to discover and explore their own sexuality based on the idea that we should be able to reach sexual pleasure and orgasm easily and frequently.

The fact is, no two women share the same experience of desire or even the same orgasmic pattern. Misconceptions about the “right” way to have an orgasm and expectations about normal libido leave many women feeling inadequate.

Education and greater awareness of the importance of sexuality and orgasm is needed in order for there to be less confusion and uncertainty, and more pleasure and understanding.

Women from a young age should be encouraged to talk to their friends and family about their sexuality and have access to holistic information that can help them grow and learn as sexually aware women.

 

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Source

8 Tips for Mindful Love-Making

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Here’s how to improve your connection with your partner. 

Mindfulness is being in the present moment with total awareness. But the one area where we can be the least present is in our relationships, and that includes our most intimate ones.

Mindful love-making is a whole new approach to being intimate with awareness, which means having sex not only for the sheer pleasure of it, but with our mind, body, and spirit combined, and as thoughtfully engaged as possible. Loving your partner mindfully will enhance the quality of your sex, and increase the closeness you experience together significantly. Not only will it become the type of love-making you crave, but it will be the only type of love-making you desire to give your partner.

Here are several ways to connect with your partner mindfully, and be as fully present as you can in the bedroom:

The best lovemaking is when two people are 100 percent present with each other, which means they are completely aware and sensitive of one another’s needs. A good way to make that happen is to set aside a special time for you and your partner to have sex. That way, you know that you’re bringing your complete attention to them, and that they are getting all of you in the experience, which is a turn-on.Young loving couple isolated on white

Mindful lovemaking can happen when both people are fully present without distraction. Put your gadgets away. That means no phones nearby, or anything electronic that could go off and distract you. Being fully present with your partner means that you need nothing other than them to satisfy you.

Making love mindfully means being fully attuned to someone else’s body and needs. Communicate to your partner either verbally or through touch how much you want to satisfy them. Giving them all of your attention increases stimulation and satisfaction.

Think of what would make your partner happy or satisfy them. Showing your partner that you’ve taken the time to figure out what would excite them sexually lets them know that you care about them, and that they are very important to you.

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Keys to More Intimacy in your Relationship

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

Q: We used to make love at least every other day, then it dropped to once a week and now it seems like we barely do it once a month.

We both miss it, but we have lots going on and making time for sex has fallen by the wayside for a multitude of reasons.

When we don’t have time for sex, how can we still feel close and connected?

Is there anything that can make us feel like a couple, the way sex does?

A: Ah the blissful morning after making love: you’re smiling, you have a spring in your step, you sneak meaningful, secret glances with your lover, your partner feels more like your seductive lover than your significant other and/or co-parent, you can’t keep your hands off each other, and you’re sure the sun is brighter and birds are chirping louder because all is good and sweet in the world and in your life – oh happy day.

Post-sex contentment hits every person differently, but it is true that after lovemaking, couples feel more connected, more attuned to each other’s needs, communicate more effectively, and the body chemicals flooding through one’s veins and brain is enough to make one feel, well, very loved up.

But some couples don’t have as much time for lovemaking as they would like.

So they may miss out on this blissful morning after glow.

Some couples believe that if they don’t have time for sex, they don’t have time for much else together, either, so intimate shared time becomes a luxury, or left to be experienced infrequently and rarely in a couple’s life.

But it doesn’t have to be. Couples who feel they don’t have time for sex, or are just too tired or too busy with other competing important priorities don’t have to neglect their intimacy altogether.

Couples can certainly feel bonded, giddy and loved up through other means, not only sex.

Yes, sex is a powerful magnet between partners, but if you’re strapped for time, energy or have other reasons you can’t get enough sexy time together (perhaps one person travels or you work varied hours from one another or have small children or others living with you etc), there are other ways to get your gooey loving exciting thrilling feelings more often.

1. Dance. Hold your partner close. Next time your partner is in the same room and you go to open a social media app on your smartphone, stop, and use the minutes you would have spent swiping a screen with your thumb instead swaying to a song on one of your music apps with your love.

2. Whenever you are out together, hold hands. Public displays of affection make you feel close, and make you proud to be together as a couple. Take every moment, no matter how small, to connect and to remind yourselves that you choose each other, every day.

3. Laugh. Lots of people are only witty and entertaining to strangers or company outside their relationship and family. Be funny. Find humour in life together. Reminisce about shared good times and hilarious memories. Build your foundation in part by holding on to the good things that keep you together and make the ride together worthwhile. Feeling light and laughing together is an important part of your shared life together.

4. Have a conversation, just the two of you, every day. Okay so you may not have time for sex, but you always have time to talk, about something interesting or intimate, for at least 10 minutes, whether it’s on the phone or in person. You’re adults who share a connection and fell in love with each other’s minds as well as bodies. Don’t forget to nurture that!

5. Shower together. Yes, it might lead to a quickie. But either way, it’s sensual couple time together, and it’s skin on skin contact and you may even squeeze in a conversation too!

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

No Need to Worry: 6 Things Men Never Notice During Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

It’s only natural to be a little insecure in bed. (Let’s just be real for a moment, OK? We’ve all tried to duplicate our O-face in the mirror and walked away horrified that’s how we look in the throes of passion.) But the beautiful thing about men is they not only don’t notice our oddities mid-act, they have no memory recall of them afterward either. They just had sex—what more could possibly be on their mind?! So the next time you let something you’re doing to your face—or something you didn’t do the night before—get in the way of your pleasure, read this and forget about it!

1 How loud you are. As long as you’re not bellowing in pain or stone silent, it matters little at what decibel level you express yourself. So scream in ecstasy or clam up in time to concentrate on your orgasm—either way, they’ll understand.

2. How your boobs bounce. If you’re well-endowed, it may feel as if your girls are going to hit the ceiling, and watching them jiggle about may make you long for a bra. But while you’re worrying what they look like, a guy’s just enjoying the show!

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Can Tantra Improve Your Sex Life?

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sex is one reason couples come to Tantra – either to help put the spark back into their relationship or in the hope of curing some kind of sexual dysfunction. Below are some key principles which can help couples to find sexual fulfillment.

  • Make time for love: Busy couples often make love at the end of a tiring day. Make special time for your love-making. Have a bath, exchange a massage, take a walk or meal together beforehand so you can let go of the day and spend time simply being together before making love.
  • Create a sacred space: Make your bedroom your temple. Clear away all the clutter, light candles, burn incense, place a special cloth on your bed – do whatever you need to do to create an atmosphere of sacredness and love.
  • See sex as sacred: When we are able to experience awe and wonder for the miracle of sex, we are in tune with godliness. To jump start this process, imagine your partner is a god or goddess – be creative! You could wash their feet, stroke their skin gently with reverence or gaze into their eyes – whatever helps you see the divine in them.
  • No goal: Forget about the goal of orgasm. Learn to just be together in a timeless zone. This becomes more orgasmic than any genital release can ever be.
  • Be total: breathe deeply and totally from your belly as much as you can – aliveness and let go are essential for the flow of sexual energy to become ecstatic.
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Being Sexually Purposeful

by Lexi Notabartoloin Sex

I like sex. I don’t say this in a scandalous, “Samantha-from-Sex-and-the-City” way, but as a simple statement of fact. Sex feels good, I think I’m reasonably “good” at it, and the combination of those two things is a bigger aphrodisiac for me than any sense of victory over a sexual conquest could.

That doesn’t stop my friends from making jokes (lovingly. I think.) about my “man eater” qualities. “Oh, Lex,” they say, “You’d destroy him.” While that might be true, it’s not because I’ve got an arsenal of tricks and knowledge behind me. It’s because when I want to have sex, I do. I act with sexual purposefulness. Anyone, with the right mindset, can, too.

If we’re being totally honest, there is a lot about sex that freaks me out. I grew up in the late nineties, when teen pregnancy was running rampant and everyone had at least one friend that had experienced “a scare.” This made me cautious, but as a natural-born researcher, it also made me endlessly curious. Vibrators? Nipple clamps? BDSM? If all these sex things existed, they had to be enjoyable to someone. Right? Right?!

Once I became an actual researcher, paid to examine things in a systematic and diagnostic fashion, I began to apply the same rigor to my sexual life. The results were fascinating, but ultimately just gave words to processes I was already putting into practice. Some call it sexual confidence, game, or swag. I call it being sexually purposeful. It’s a largely internal process, so like any good researcher I worked from a question set checking in with my subject (me) at multiple intervals.

What’s up with my body?

Sexual purposefulness begins, exists, and ends with the person living it. FYI: That’s you. It’s important to learn how to distinguish between “I want to have sex” and “I want another person touching my body.” They seem similar, but there is a gulf of intent between them. The more in tune you are with what your body is telling you it wants, the more sexually purposeful you can be. Maybe tonight you just want to make out with someone. You know who should know that? The other party in that makeout sesh. Nothing is more engaging or sexy than clarity.

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Speaking Love through Physical Touch

by zfortadminin Sex

There is power in your touch!

Keeping emotional love alive in a marriage makes life much more enjoyable. How do we keep love alive after the “in-love” emotions have evaporated? I believe it is by learning to speak each other’s “love language.” This week we will focus on physical touch.

For some husbands, when they hear the words physical touch, they immediately think of sex. But sexual intercourse is only one of the dialects of this love language. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, back rubs, or an arm around the shoulder are all ways of expressing love by physical touch.

Physical touch can make or break a marital relationship. Do you know how to speak this love language? To the spouse whose primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than your tender touches. You may give them words of affirmation or gifts, but nothing communicates love like physical touch.

Touches may be explicit and call for your full attention, such as a back rub or sexual foreplay. They can be implicit and require only a moment, such as putting your hand on his shoulder as you pour a cup of coffee. Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination. Kiss when you get in the car. It may greatly enhance your travels. Give a hug before you go shopping. You may hear less griping when you return. Remember, you are learning to speak a new language.

When you reach out with tender touch, you create emotional closeness. This is especially true if the primary love language of your spouse is physical touch. You may say, “What if I’m just not a toucher? I didn’t grow up in a touchy-feely family.” The good news is that you can learn to speak this love language. It can begin with a pat on the back, or putting your hand on their leg as you sit together on the couch.Couple Holding Hands Having Sex Inside A Car

Almost instinctively in a time of crisis, we hug one another. Why? During these times, we need to feel loved more than anything. All marriages will experience crises. Disappointments are a part of life. The most important thing you can do for your wife in a time of crisis is to love her. If her primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries. Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. In a time of crisis, a hug is worth more than a thousand words. Physical touch is a powerful love language.

Have you ever had a time when you were in need of a hug? What do you do to let others know that you need a gesture of physical touch? What do you do if your spouse’s love language is physical touch, but you’re not “touchy-feely”?

 

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Yoga Sex vs Drunk Sex

by Susanna Leein Mind, Sex

Yoga makes sex even more awesome than booze does.  Already, this entire article sounds like a lie.  I mean, when I come out of the gate with such a grand unbelievable statement like that, it surely must set off your smarty-pants alarm.  With all the things alcohol does to help sex, lowering the inhibitions, acting as a social lubricant, allowing the logic center of your brain enough of a stay-cation that you can bend your perception of reality into pretending that the guy from the barstool next to yours, who is currently flailing around behind you like a Muppet, is the ex you still love…it seems a little incredulous to think that there’s anything legal that could possibly do more to benefit your sex life.  I get that. I too was skeptical.  But it’s been proven true, and here’s a few reasons why:

1. Stress kills the libido, and chaos creates stress.

Yoga calms your mind through attention to breathing.  Smooth, even breaths naturally bring tranquility to the brain.  Our drunk minds aren’t calm they’re just not functioning at 100%, giving you less than your normal amount of chaos to handle.  And sure, that sounds great, but think of your mind as a classroom full of kids.  Getting drunk is basically filling them with birthday cake, root beer, and pixie stix, and letting them bounce off the walls.  Now, of course, a few of them are going to puke and have to go to the nurse’s office, leaving you with fewer to deal with, which seems easier to keep control over; but just because there’s fewer of them doesn’t mean they’ll be able to focus on math any better.  Regulated breathing, however, is like teaching those kids manners and discipline, giving them the tools they need to be able to sit at their desks and read quietly.  Now, I’m certainly no teetotaler, there’s nothing wrong with the occasional sugar bomb, but having the baseline of tranquility makes for a way smoother school year.

2. Being fully present makes for greater enjoyment of an experience.

In yoga, we link our breath with our movements, creating a connection between them, keeping us present in what we’re doing, which, with a regular practice, extends into our lives beyond the mat.  Staying present and attentive during sex lets us fully experience what’s going on, notice what feels good and what doesn’t, which brings us a greater awareness of our own sexual desires, needs, and wants.  I won’t speak for you, but when I get drunk, it’s usually with the goal (conscious or subconscious) of disconnecting, taking a break from reality, and on more than one occasion, I’ve tried something new in bed while drunk, and woken up the next day with no recollection of how I felt about it, beyond a sore muscle or aching orifice, which usually makes me only more leery of trying said sexual feat again.

3. On the note of sore muscles, I’ll move into the myriad of physical ways yoga helps sex.

To begin, there’s flexibility and strength.  A regular yoga practice increases that power pair, which helps us be more comfortable in various sexual positions.  For example, a greater range of motion in the hips allows for a wider leg-spread in missionary.  Stronger quads and core lets you enthusiastically stay on top longer.  Downward dog leads to happier doggie-style.  And having more physical stamina in general never hurt anyone (longer rolls in happier hay).  Yoga also improves our circulation, increasing blood flow to the entire body, pink parts included!  Increasing the blood flow enlivens our tissue and nerve endings, making us more sensitive to the tickles, tingles, and other tremendous titillations that come from my personal favorite of our national pastimes.

Yes, being drunk can also increase flexibility, but temporarily, by numbing pain receptors, which explains my sore muscles the next day. The alcohol-related lowered inhibitions led to being careless with preparations, explaining the aching orifices.  I’ve never had more stamina when I’m drunk. And I am only slightly ashamed to admit that I’ve passed out during drunken sex on more than one occasion.

I think that in my attempt to draw comparisons, I may sound really judgmental, so let me clear that up: Since the first time I paired drinking and fucking, I’ve loved drunken sex.  But in a very in-the-moment, life-of-spontaneous-adventure sort of way.  Yoga has just allowed me to have more complete, lasting appreciation of my sexuality.  So I’m not saying we should stop living our beautiful, wild lives, I’m merely encouraging the addition of a bit of balance to the engaging madness that makes us the unique treasures that we are. More mind-blowing orgasms, less face-melting hangovers?  I’ll absolutely drink to that, namaste!