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7 Sweet Anniversary Traditions You Can Do Every Year

March 30, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Whether it be your 1st or a 50th, anniversaries are important to your relationship. It’s a milestone for your time together and an opportunity to celebrate your love.

But, planning an annual celebration (and even finding the right anniversary gift) can sometimes be difficult. My husband and I just came up on our ten year dating anniversary and while we love celebrating our relationship, over the years, we’ve found that planning anniversary celebrations has always been a bit stressful.

And lots of couples, in various stages of their relationships, feel the same way.

If you’re new to a relationship, you might not know what your partner expects and worry that whatever you do will be too little, or maybe too much. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you might be struggling to think of a gift you haven’t already given your partner in anniversaries past.

To fix this celebration conundrum, we started asking other couples what they do for their anniversaries. We found that the best ideas were the ones that repeat and build off of each other: anniversary celebrations that feel more like traditions. They let you enjoy your milstone without the unneeded stress of thinking of an original gift or date idea.

So, to help you celebrate your love, here are 7 great anniversary ideas that you can do every year. These anniversary dates (and gifts) are meant to be enjoyed over and over again so you can look forward to these celebrations for many years to come.

1. Fun photo shoot

My husband and I have been together for a long time, so of course we have a ton of photos of the two of us: candids taken by friends and lots of selfies.

But it wasn’t until a couple years ago, when we started talking about getting engagement photos done, that we ever considered getting professional photos taken. Between our engagement session, and subsequent wedding pictures, we suddenly had all of these beautiful photos to celebrate us, and I loved it.

When my husband and I reached our ten year anniversary, my sister-in-law gave us the idea to do a photoshoot to celebrate this milestone—and I loved the idea. She and her family take photos every year with their kids and we thought it might be fun to start a photo tradition of our own.

I asked a friend to be our photographer and the three of us walked to a nearby park and had a great time taking pictures together. Later, my husband and I loved looking through the photos and picking which ones to frame. We had such a good time that we decided to make a point to do a little photo shoot (or at least make sure to take a nice picture together) every year.

If you’re interested in taking photos every anniversary, there’s some great inspiration online for photo projects couples have done every year together, such as taking a picture with a printed photo from the year before or holding a balloon for every year they’ve been together. It’s a great tradition and down the road you’ll have a collection of pictures you’ll treasure.

Side Note: While some couples might want to go all out and embrace this photo shoot idea with a new wardrobe, getting their hair done, hiring a dream photographer, and heading to a fabulous destination… it’s also okay to make this a little low-key. My husband and I wanted to keep costs down so we grabbed a friend who was a photographer, picked cute outfits from our closet, and just took photos in the neighborhood. Costs were low but the photos were still great!

2. Scrapbook of anniversaries

While I’m so excited to document my anniversaries in photos, one friend of mine (and her husband) take this idea to the next level with a scrapbook of memories.

While it might be fun to take photos every year, you’ll also want a way to display your memories. Of course, you won’t have room for all your photos on your walls (especially after a few years), so why not start a tradition of a photo book? Each anniversary you could make one scrapbook page with a few anniversary pictures (or even photos of your favorite moments from the year) and add it to your scrapbook. You might even include ticket stubs or other little momentos.

If you want to take it up a notch even more, my friend likes to display their most recent page in a frame until their next anniversary. She likes getting to see it all year, then when she’s done with the next scrapbook page, adding it to the book and make room for another page to put on the wall.

These scrapbook pages can either be a sweet present you give your honey every year, or an activity you do together.

3. Make an anniversary cake

I’m really big on desserts so you can imagine my excitement when I found out that the bakery that made our wedding cake gives customers a free “anniversary cake” for couple’s one year of marriage. This sounded amazing: we wouldn’t have to worry about the tradition of freezing a piece of cake and then digging through dried-out frosting on our anniversary. We’d get to celebrate with a fresh, delicious cake made just for us.

But it got me thinking… who says cake is just a “first anniversary” tradition? And who says you have to be married to celebrate with something sweet? It got me thinking that this could be a great idea for an anniversary tradition, even beyond our first wedding anniversary.

If you’re looking for a fun (and thrifty) activity to celebrate your anniversary every year, make a tradition of baking a cake together. Every year you can come up with a fun design and get together in the kitchen to do your best impression of Cake Boss. You can start from scratch or buy a mix, then practice your piping skills or simply decorate with sprinkles. It’s a sweet (pun intended) anniversary tradition that you both will love!

4. Re-create a special day

Your anniversary is all about celebrating your love and making great memories together. So why not celebrate by re-creating a special day in your love story? I have a co-worker who goes out with her husband every year to the same restaurant where they had their first date and she loves their tradition. She thinks it’s so fun to remember the beginning of their relationship and recognize how far they’ve come as a couple.

But, you don’t necessarily have to recreate your first date to enjoy the same effects, re-creating any special day, like the day when you first said “I love you” or the day one of you proposed could be more special to you and your partner. Go ice skating like you did that day, or eat tons of Chinese food and watch Bob’s Burgers like you did that one special evening. The date itself doesn’t have to be fancy for it to be special to you.

One day that is really special to my husband and I is the day after our wedding. (Of course, our wedding was pretty great too, but we were looking for something easier to recreate.) That day, woke up in a fancy beach hotel, ordered waffles from room service, went for a walk along the beach, and finished off the night at dinner. Even back then we decided that we should come back the year after and enjoy a meal at one of the restaurants at the hotel and walk along the beach to remember how special we felt that day- and that’s just what we plan to do!

Whatever special day you choose, you can make it a great tradition: celebrating that special moment every year so you never forget how wonderful your memories are.

5. A weekend get-away

While a special date can be the perfect way to celebrate your love, a mini get-away might be more your speed. I have a cousin who works a lot and says he simply doesn’t get to spend enough quality time with his wife. They’re both so busy, so when their anniversary comes around they like to go all-out and plan a weekend get-away.

While my cousin and his wife love going to the same beachy city for their annual get-away, you might want to change it up every year. Think about places that are special to you and what you want to do while you’re there. Do you need a weekend of R&R? Or do you love bonding over water sports and hiking?

Of course, your trip doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive: maybe it’s an annual camping trip, maybe it’s a quick visit to the big city or a mini vacation in the next city over. Then again, maybe you do want to go all out for those big anniversaries, splurging for the all-inclusive weekend complete with the “upgraded view” in your hotel room and visits to fancy restaurants.

Whatever you decide to do, it’s great to have a mini vacation to get to relax and spend time together. It’s a trip you could plan for every anniversary and look forward to all year long.

6. Love letters

While a weekend get-away might sound nice, not everyone has the time or money to plan a trip every year.

I have one friend from grad school who admits that while paying off student loans, he wasn’t always able to plan dates for his girlfriend or get her a grand gift for their anniversary. Instead, they decided to start writing each other love letters and their sweet tradition stuck. He says they love writing each other letters for their anniversary and even though it’s so easy to do, the letters mean so much to both of them.

Their tradition is a good reminder that no matter how big or small you celebrate your anniversary, it’s important to take the time to tell each other how much you mean to each other, and what better way to do that than to put it in an old fashioned, romantic love letter? It’s probably the best anniversary gift to give (and get) and it requires very little time and money to do it. You might even consider making this a tradition and keeping all your letters to each other in a special book to look back on in years to come.

7. Try something new together every year

Wait a second, you’re probably saying, didn’t you say this list would help me celebrate anniversaries in a way that I won’t have to think of something new every year?

Of course it can be hard to think of romantic dates and sweet gifts every year, but when it comes to thinking of something you’ve never done in general… for most of us, that’s pretty easy.

One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone to experience new things with. Why not make a tradition out of trying new things?

Every year you can plan to try something that’s new to both of you. Maybe neither of you have tried skiing or have never gone skinny dipping. Maybe you’ve never seen all the Godfather movies or have gone to the Grand Canyon. Every year you’ll do something new together, treat yourself to new experiences, and make yourself a more well-rounded couple.

No matter what you decide to do for your anniversary, remember to always have a ton of fun and take this time to appreciate each other. Every anniversary is an accomplishment and a milestone, so celebrate your love as best you can.

Spread a Little Love This Spring: 15 Random Acts of Kindness

May 8, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

There’s just something about warmer weather that makes me happier.

I want to spread that happiness, especially in the springtime.

Here are 15 ways to spread a little love this season (and all year ‘round!) with random acts of kindness.

1. Send a greeting card

This is my absolute favorite thing to do to make people happy. I especially love Target’s greeting card section. I sometimes have a special place in my heart for naughty or ridiculous cards—they’re the things that make my loved ones laugh the hardest. Knowing that they enjoy getting mail like a funny greeting card makes me feel happy and fulfilled.

2. Buy the person in line behind you a cup of coffee

I’ve thought about doing this little act of kindness forever and I have never remembered to do it while in line at Starbucks. It is my goal to do it this spring to make someone smile on a typically busy and hurried morning.

3. Bake cookies for your elderly neighbor or friend

I am friends (and a fellow church usher, believe it or not!) with two 80-somethings. I love baking them a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies and bringing them to church as a thank you for always giving me rides and being so nice to me! It was the two of them who helped me feel involved in my church so I love returning the kindness they showed me.

4. Take a rescue dog out for an adventure

Many local animal shelters allow volunteers to take their rescue dogs out for an afternoon “adventure.” Showing a dog whose been in some tough times a day of fun with an ice cream jaunt or trip to the local dog park is a great way to make them feel loved.

5. Offer to take a friend’s kids out for the afternoon

As I rapidly continue approaching the age my peers start having children, I know many soon become tired, overworked parents. By offering to take their children out to the movies or to the park for a few hours is a welcome, you are committing a selfless act of kindness many parents would appreciate.

6. Surprise your apartment floor with candy

I love doing this on my apartment’s floor. I think it stems from me being Sunshine Chair of my dorm floor in college. Over the holidays, I used red, green and silver Hershey’s kisses and left them in little Ziploc bags taped to everyone’s doors. I included a little note thanking them for being such great neighbors. This is a simple way to get to know your neighbors and make them (particularly lonely ones) feel welcomed.

7. Slip a love note in your significant other’s lunch

My boyfriend likes to make believe he haaaates this but every time I ask him if he got the note I left him in his lunch he smiles from ear to ear. There’s a reason we loved mom’s lunch notes growing up—they made us feel special. Why not do the same for your partner?

8. Send a thank you note

My closest friends and family know I absolutely adore writing thank you notes. The written word is often lost these days and I always joke it’s my own personal goal to bring it back. Sending a written thank you is a special way to make someone feel happy about their original gesture that warranted the note in the first place. Not to mention, it’s fun buying cute stationery!

9. Do a 5K for a cause close to your heart

My boyfriend suffers from retinitis pigmentosa, an eye-related disease that can eventually blind him. A few years ago, I signed up for a 5K to benefit the programs and services of a local organization specializing in the blind, low vision and deafblind. It was the first 5K I ever ran and not only was I proud I did it in a respectable time, I was happy to be helping those like my boyfriend.

10. Let someone go ahead of you in line

This one is a tough one, particularly when you’re pressed for time. I have yet to do it myself, but boy does it make someone’s day, particularly a mom struggling multiple children or an elderly person.

11. Mentor a child

Children from underserved communities in your area always appreciate stability in their life. Organizations like the Boys and Girls Club of America provide that consistency and are always looking for volunteers.

12. Offer a cold drink to those working outside on a hot day

D.C. summers are often oppressively hot—that’s part of the reason I make sure to ask our apartment’s maintenance team any time they come to do repairs for us if they need a glass of water. Many in construction or maintenance type jobs get minimal breaks and are often overworked. A small gesture like a glass of ice water could got a long way!

13. Leave a small gift for your mail carrier

I’ve always lived by the thought that if you befriend your mail carrier, your mail will always be delivered on time. In the six years we’ve lived in our building, I’ve gotten to know our mail carrier Mimi. I admire her so much, she came to the U.S. from Korea, married, had kids and has been working tirelessly for USPS for decades. We’ve become friendly and every Christmas and times throughout the year, I make sure to give her a small gift of gratitude for the countless hours she spends sorting our mail.

14. Donate to those less fortunate

This one is a typical one I know, but there are so many places you don’t even think about. There are plenty of animal shelters in need of blankets for shelter pets and children’s hospitals who would love a homemade card for one of their sick children.

15. Be kind to yourself!

Parks and Recreation fans out there will know Donna Meagle’s (aka Retta) iconic catchphrase “Treat yo self.” Some days, it’s important to do just take a personal day and literally treat yourself! I love deciding in the morning that I’m going to treat myself in some way and just going for it. Yesterday, I decided to take myself to the movies for a solo outing—one of my favorite ways to unwind.

6 Important Questions to Ask Before You Have Kids Together

June 14, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Lots of couples dream of starting a family together. For many, it’s an ultimate #relationshipgoal. But what if you and your partner have differing opinions when it comes to raising your future family?

Maybe your partner is hoping for a way bigger, or way smaller, family than the one you’re dreaming of. Maybe he or she has a different philosophy regarding discipline or has unconventional ideas when it comes to your kids’ education.

This can be stressful because different ideas of child-rearing can mean big conflicts down the line. It can spark arguments about setting boundaries, deciding which activities your children should do, which of you should take on which parenting responsibilities, and more.

And while these differences can cause some disagreements, you don’t want them to put a strain on your relationship. You want to feel supported by each other, especially as you prepare to grow your family. One great way to do that, is to communicate.

My husband and I have talked about having kids for a long time, and now, we’re slowly preparing ourselves for parenthood. As part of our process, we set out asking people we know, who already have kids, which questions they asked their partner before starting a family—and which questions they wished they’d asked.

What we got was a list that’s perfect for a couple wanting to get on the same page before raising children. It’s also a great conversation starter for those trying to decide if they’re with the person they want to start a family with.

So, if you’ve got kids on the mind, or are wondering how you and your partner would do as parents, these questions will help you get the conversation going. Here are 6 important questions to ask yourself, and your partner, before deciding to have kids.

1. How many?

For such a simple question, this can be a hard one to answer. In part because, over time, your ideal number can change.

Perhaps you start out thinking you want a big family of six or seven, but once you have your first, you might decide that one is enough. On the other hand, you might set out wanting one, love the experience, and decide that you want more.

This happened to one of my co-workers. She and her husband wanted one or two, but they loved the experience so much, that they ended up with four. She said that if they hadn’t talked about it and planned it out financially, they wouldn’t have been able to find the perfect number for them.

She said that the “how many do we want?” question was an important one to ask before starting their family—and still just as important after they started having kids.

Keep in mind that this might also be a good opportunity to talk about fertility issues. Talk about what you might do if you have trouble getting pregnant. You might consider adoption, IVF, and even surrogacy. It’s important to have all your bases covered, and figure out what feels right to you both, just in case.

2. Who’s going to do what?

If you ever feel overwhelmed with chores before having kids, multiply that feeling by a thousand.

You’d think that something as small as a football couldn’t do that much damage, but it’s amazing what a baby can do to your laundry, your floors, bathrooms, dishes, and more. Oh, and if you aren’t already busy enough cleaning everything, the baby needs constant attention too.

And things don’t get easier as your bundles of joy grow up. They still need to be cared for, but they also need to be driven places: to school and friends’ houses and piano lessons. They need help with their homework and cupcakes for bake sales. Yikes.

You have to ask yourself (and your partner) who’s going to do take on these tasks.

This question was really important to a friend of mine. When she and an old boyfriend started talking about having kids, she found out that her boyfriend had a very traditional parenting style in mind: he’d work and she’d stay home with the kids. She hated this idea.

Her career was always important to her and she wasn’t going to leave her job. She said that, learning how some people still value traditional gender roles was enlightening, and this helped her realize what she really needed in a relationship. Eventually, she found the right partner for her and now they share parenting responsibilities pretty equally.

Of course, not all couples can delegate between the two of them and many parents need help with the workload. That’s why it’s also important to discuss how you feel about hiring outside help for childcare and other household duties. Hiring a nanny or housekeeper can help a lot, but there are costs to consider. If the expense is a problem, ask if you’d both feel comfortable enlisting some support from family. Remember to consider the non-baby specific chores too, like: who will make dinner? Who will go to the grocery store?

Having kids will be a lot of work, but if you start talking about responsibilities early, you’ll be more prepared when the time comes.

3. What do you want to stay the same?

They say that everything changes after having kids, but does that mean everything, everything? Of course not.

Lots of things will change (and hopefully for the better) but if there are parts of your life you want to keep the same, plan ahead. Talk to each other about how to work your favorite aspects of your pre-baby life into your post-baby world.

That’s exactly what my cousin and his wife did before they had their son.

Before having their toddler, my cousin loved going to soccer games and his wife loved going to yoga class. So, it was important to them both that they make time to go to occasional soccer games/yoga classes—even as new parents. He says that when he and his wife make time to do something just for them, it makes them both happier, and in turn, makes them better parents and partners.

It’s proof that self-care is important.

Maybe the things you want to keep doing are easy to put on a calendar: like a monthly book club meeting or tennis games. Write it down and plan ahead with babysitters.

But what if your goals are a little less tangible? Maybe you’re just hoping to keep the passion in your relationship or maybe you want to stay in shape. A broader objective might take a little more work, but setting small goals can definitely help along the way.

Just remember that, of course, you can’t keep everything the same. Sometimes people are disappointed when they become parents and realize they can’t go back to school right away or can’t easily move across the country for a job.

Keep in mind that having kids can mean making big changes and sacrifices—but with some communication and preparation, it’s okay to try to keep some things the same.

4. How do you see your relationship with your child?

While your relationship with your partner is important, the relationship between you and your child should be a priority too. Talk to each other about how you picture your relationship with your children when they’re kids, when they’re teenagers, and when they’re adults.

My friend and her wife talked about this before having kids. She said it was helpful because it forced them to look to the future and ask themselves what sort of goals they had for family dynamics, parent-child communication, and discipline. They knew that they both had very different relationships with their parents but were happy to find that they had similar goals when it came to raising their own kids.

However, not everyone does. Talk about how you both see your relationship with your children and how they’re similar (or different).

5. What did you like about your childhood? What would you do differently?

When you look back on your childhood, you might remember a lot of great things your parents did for you: from jolly holiday traditions to fun family football games. But there are probably at least a few things you didn’t love as much: from small things like too-strict curfews to bigger issues like limited affection.

But, just because you’ve lived and learned from your parents, doesn’t mean your partner has come to the same conclusions. Maybe you look back on your “no TV after dinner” rule as too harsh, but your partner sees the same regulation as a parenting necessity.

When one of my co-workers and her husband asked each other this question, they found out that they had very different ideas when it came to whether or not to raise their kids with religion. It took them a long time to find a compromise they were both happy with, but eventually they figured it out.

Choosing to adopt or ignore things your parents did can feel very personal, so these choices can be extra difficult to find a solution to. You have a personal connection to how much you loved or hated something in your childhood and this can make decision-making particularly emotional.

The best thing is to keep these discussions as relaxed as possible and be patient with each other. Make lists of what you loved and didn’t love about your own childhood and set aside time to talk about them calmly. If there are some conflicts you run into, try to see if you can meet in the middle, if there are some points you’re not sure about, set them aside and come back to them. The important thing is to feel like you’re in this parenting thing together and that you can support each other in everything—even if it’s not a decision you favored.

6. How do you feel about counseling?

No matter how prepared you are before having a little one, taking care of a baby and raising a child is stressful and can put a strain on your relationship. Having a child will change both of your lives forever, and you both need to be ready to grow with that change.

My friend from college said one of the important things he and his husband talked about before adopting their baby was how willing they were to go to couples counseling if they needed it down the road. They knew that raising a child would be stressful and they wanted to be prepared if the pressure paid a toll on their relationship.

It’s an important topic to cover because some people are hesitant to get counseling at all. While many people enjoy the benefits of therapy, some couples have a hard time signing up for sessions because they’re afraid to admit when they need help.

Talk about your feelings when it comes to counseling. Maybe you’ve already done some counseling and think it’s a great idea to work on issues when a professional every so often. Maybe you’re new to the idea and are a little afraid of what it means. No matter what, remember that you and your family deserve to keep your relationship strong, even when things get difficult. Talk about what it would mean to see a counselor and be sure you’re both able to accept help when needed.

Parents know that there are so many things things to do—and so much to talk about—before welcoming a little one into the world. These six questions will likely be just the beginning of your journey to parenthood, but hopefully these points will start some good discussions while you and your partner begin growing your perfect family together.

5 Best Romantic Cities in Europe Now

July 2, 2019January 22, 2024 by Terri-Jane Dowin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

We know that Paris is the city of love, but if you’re looking for something less cliched, we’ve got you. Europe has a whole host of surprisingly romantic cities to whirl off to for a weekend.

Ljubljana, Slovenia

Ljubljana (try to say it quickly — it’s “lyoo-bly-anuh”) is one of Europe’s most underrated capitals. The wealthiest of the former Yugoslav states, Slovenia leans far more towards art nouveau than communist bloc in its architecture, with pastel buildings and pretty bridges.

There are boat cruises along the river, and once you’ve disembarked, you can while away a few hours at the riverside cafes. If you’re looking for a slightly different way to explore the city, you can rent Stand Up Paddleboards to go along the Ljubljanica instead.

Tivoli Park is a great daytime date location – there are tennis courts and mini golf, and a promenade which doubles as an art gallery in the summer. Take a picnic with you, and sit in the gardens for as long as you like.

If you’re staying a little longer than a weekend, the trip out to Lake Bled (around 55km from the city) is well worth it.

Istanbul, Turkey

For a really unusual date, visit the Basilica Cistern. It was built to supply water to the Byzantine palace, but now is open to the public. With classical music reverberating around the domed archways, it’s a truly impressive experience.

Hammam is usually a same-sex activity, but some of the hammams in the city now offer couples massages; you’ll need to book in advance, but it’s worth it. Itsanbul’s hammams are some of the best.

Just a short boat ride from the capital city are the Prince Islands; nine beautiful islands where cars are banned and instead you’ll be transported by horse drawn carriage. Buyukada is the biggest island, but you can hop between them, dining on the freshest seafood as you go along.

Porto, Portugal

Just a short train ride from livelier Lisbon, Porto is an excellent alternative for a romantic trip. Find a Fado show, and listen to Portuguese guitar over a shared bottle of green wine, or glasses of Port. The Fado shows usually include dinner, so they make for a great evening out.

Porto also offers some great views across the ocean — there are viewpoints dotted all the way along the coast, and if you wander too far, you can hop on a tram to get back and take in the views as you travel.

Budapest, Hungary

Built on a series of thermal spas, Budapest is a great weekend getaway spot. Stroll along the Danube before heading into one of the many spas — in the summer, both indoor and outdoor pools are open. The Széchenyi is the largest medicinal baths in Europe, while the Gellert Spas offer some stunning architecture to stare at while you soak.

If you do choose the Gellert, you can walk up the hill above the spa afterwards too, to see the spectacular views of the city. Watch the sun set (or drag yourselves out early for the sunrise, if you’re early birds), and then have dinner in one of the traditional Hungarian restaurants at the bottom of Gellert Hill.

Naples, Italy

Home of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan series, as well as Neapolitan ice cream, and (of course) the best pizza in the world, Naples is a much more interesting choice of city break if you’re heading to Italy. Visit the castle fort of Castell dell’Ovo on the island of Megaride (accessible by footpath), and walk up to the village of Borgo dei Marinari for dinner and to discuss the superstitions of the fortress.

You can also visit the ruins of Pompeii from Naples. Preserved by the ash falling after Mount Vesuvius’ huge eruption in 79AD, you can walk through the city itself, and see its amphitheatre and temples. To delve even further into the area’s history, head to Herculaneum. It’s another town that was destroyed by the volcano, but is better preserved, with mosaics and frescos still intact.

If you’re feeling fancy, hop on a boat to Capri — the trip to the island takes around two hours and ferries run fairly frequently. Wander around the harbour and take in the view of Naples from afar.

10 Creative Proposal Ideas Perfect for All Relationships

July 10, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

When the weather gets warm, one can say love is in the air.

If you’re thinking of getting married, the good news is that these days, it doesn’t matter who proposes to whom. There are so many different types of relationships out there, there are no rules when it comes to proposals anymore.

Here are 10 creative proposal ideas perfect for all relationships.

1. Hide the ring in a pocket.

I just adored this idea when I heard it was how my best friend was planning on proposing to his now wife. He bought her a dress from her favorite store and knew how much she loved dresses with pockets (don’t we all?). He bought tickets to an opera, mentioned he bought her a new dress for the event and it was on the bed and to go try it on. She did, realized there were pockets and stuck her hand right in, finding the ring. Cue the happy tears!

2. Do it at a place significant to you both.

Two of my three sisters are engaged now and their fiancés both proposed in super sweet ways. What tied them together was that the two used places significant to them. My middle sister’s fiancé drove them to my parents’ lake house, took out my dad’s boat (with his permission) and proposed to my sister in the middle of the lake. The lake, called Lake Latonka is very special to us all as it was where my grandparents lived when we were growing up and we had plenty of fond memories there. My youngest sister’s fiancé took the two to Cleveland to celebrate their eighth (!) anniversary (yes they are high school sweethearts!). The fiancé insisted my parents and his come up to surprise my sister while recording the whole proposal from afar. It was too cute!

3. Create a proposal scavenger hunt.

This one may take a bit longer to put together and may require help from some friends. Think about your partner’s favorite places. Maybe they love Starbucks lattes, jogs in a park or twist cones at a certain ice cream parlor in town. Take them around to their favorite places, leaving clues everywhere until they figure out where you’re hiding, with the ring of course.

4. Channel your inner child with glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars.

I would honestly love this if my boyfriend took the time to do this if we end up getting engaged someday. This also works only if you live together already or if you are sleeping over one night. You know those glow-in-the-dark stars you had on your ceiling as a kid? Grab a whole bunch of them and spell out “MARRY ME?” on your ceiling. As you get into bed that night, turn off the lights and gaze up at the ceiling. Watch your partner gasp in surprise and excitement.

5. Five words: A picnic and a skywriter.

While a picnic is relatively inexpensive, a skywriter is not. This is an idea for those who are willing or able to drop a serious amount of dough. Take a romantic picnic—think wine, cheese, a baguette—and head to a romantic spot in your city or town. Have a skywriter write out “Will you marry me?” in the sky.

6. Utilize your significant other’s job.

If your girlfriend is a teacher, ask permission to have their class help with the proposal by holding up letters that spell out marry me. If your boyfriend is a firefighter, ask the station to help with a proposal using a fire truck and a banner that says “Marry Me?” There are countless ways to use your significant other’s job to help with a creative marriage proposal.

7. Go berry picking and pop the question.

This is a cute way to pop the question. While you’re picking your favorite berry of choice, yell for your partner to come over that you’ve found the best, juiciest looking one. When they run over, whip out the ring!

8. Use your pet.

When our dog was still around, this was all I wanted my boyfriend to do to propose to me. It’s super easy and for animal lovers, they will just melt with joy. Simply tie the engagement ring onto your pet’s collar with a ribbon and ask them to come for a treat. Say “hey what’s that around their collar?” and well, the rest will be history.

9. Use sparklers this 4th of July.

Surround an area safe for sparklers using either ones with long stems to stick in the ground, or using your significant other’s loved ones to stand in a circle. Bring your partner into the middle of the circle and get down on one knee. Don’t forget to have someone photograph the gorgeous moment.

10. Take a walk on a rainy day and use a big golf umbrella.

Ever since I saw Midnight in Paris, I’ve been obsessed with the romance of walking in the rain. This proposal idea involves a giant gold umbrella and getting your future fiancé to take a walk in a rainstorm with you. Before you take that walk, write on the inside of the gigantic umbrella in waterproof sharpie, “Will you marry me?” Chances are, shortly after that you’ll be sharing a kiss together underneath that umbrella. I am smiling just writing about how beautiful this could turn out.

7 Ways My Boyfriend and I Built a Relationship Living Apart in a Big City

August 30, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we lived in separate places about 20 minutes from each other.

Washington, D.C. is a pretty big city. My boyfriend and I were excited when we met that we actually lived closer than some—often some couples we knew would have one half in Virginia the other in Maryland.

Before we moved in together, we had to cultivate our relationship to know each other. Here are seven ways my significant other and I built a relationship living apart in a big city.

1. Cooking for Each Other

One of the first things we did for each other was cook. In fact, our second date was me inviting my boyfriend over for baked ziti, garlic bread and salad. Later, he would invite me for chicken with his signature barbecue sauce. We had a failed attempt at chicken pot pie and a perfect attempt at our own spaghetti sauce.

We bonded through making our favorite recipes for each other. Now, years later, I learned how to make that from-scratch barbecue sauce and my partner has learned that baked ziti will be on the dinner menu at least a few times each month!

2. Spending equal time at each other’s apartments

Sometimes it’s hard to figure out a routine that works. My apartment was right off a Metro stop, so it was a lot easier to spend more time there. However, it was studio compared to my boyfriend’s more spacious one-bedroom.

After dating a few weeks, we found a schedule that worked for us. My boyfriend would often stop after work for dinner at my place on weeknights. Weekends we’d spend at his place as it was bigger and allowed for more room to hang out for longer periods of time.

The important thing to remember is that everyone’s different—what may work for your best friend and his or her partner may not work for your boyfriend and you.

3. Lots and lots of texts and phone calls

We kept in touch a lot in the first year. From the text after the first three weeks that said “I’m lucky I have such a great girlfriend,” a cute nod to asking him to be my boyfriend, to phone calls at the end of a work day, we always made an effort to contact each other.

Some of the sweetest phone calls where we got to learn a lot about each other were falling asleep at night. Good thing cell phones hang up automatically when someone says goodbye, because I can’t tell you how many times one of us accidentally fell asleep!

4. Well executed date nights

When we were living apart, date nights had to be very well planned out. Given that we both didn’t have a car, most of the dates involved my boyfriend Ubering to me then us both heading out on the Metro from my place.

When we took the Metro home, we would settle into my bed, but if we took an Uber home, we often ended up at my significant other’s place.

No matter where you end up at the end of a date night, definitely discuss the question before you head out. No one wants to deal with debating where to crash for the night if you’re headed home from a fun and romantic evening.

5. Sweet and thoughtful gifts

The sweet and thoughtful gifts I’m referencing in this one aren’t particularly expensive or showy, but they were very considerate. The gifts also helped our relationship grow. For example, once on his way home from a business trip, my boyfriend met me at my place with six red roses from a flower cart at Union Station. It was so meaningful to know he thought of me on his trip.

I would sometimes do things like bake chocolate chip cookies and wrap them up, head over to his place while he was working from home and leave them at his door. Once I was back at my apartment, I would text my boyfriend to say check outside your door. These little surprises were just enough to keep us thinking about each other while also cultivating the romance.

6. Showing each other our mutual interests

As a native Pittsburgher, I loved football growing up (go Steelers!). I wasn’t all that into hockey, unlike many Pittsburghers who love the Penguins and Steelers equally. It wasn’t until I met my boyfriend and we went to a few hockey games together that I became a huge fan. Now, dates to the local arena to see the Pens vs. the Washington Capitals are some of our favorite nights out.

While I got into hockey, I expressed to my boyfriend how much I loved movies and TV. We both realized we loved a good HBO show. The show The Newsroom ran from 2012 through 2014, when we first started dating, so it ended up being the perfect show to get into together.

By sharing our personal interests, we got to know each other more and were able to have our relationship evolve. We found mutual interests that we love to share with each other now.

7. When the relationship got serious enough, discussing moving in together

About a year into our relationship, my boyfriend and I knew that things were pretty serious. We thought about how much money we were blowing on bus and cab/Uber fare to see each other. We ended up having a serious discussion about moving in together.

After touring places around the area, we eventually ended up where we are now. It was tough to explain with our both equally traditional parents but in the end I’m glad it happened. We’ve been living here since June 2013 with no plans to move anytime soon. I credit the steps we took in our relationship while living apart for a smooth transition to living together.

Want to read more on relationships? Check out this piece about fun ideas for a couple photoshoot.

How Our Brains Are Designed To Look For What’s Wrong

September 20, 2019January 22, 2024 by Meg Scanlonin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

How to turn it around in a relationship

We all want to live our best lives and have the healthiest relationships possible. But we may not know how to get there and what to do. I spoke with Barbra Russell, MA a counselor, speaker and author of Yes! I Said No! about how we can create and maintain a relationship of optimal wellness.

Creating Boundaries

We know that boundaries are important. We understand that we should have them and we know when it feels like someone has crossed them. But how do we set and maintain good boundaries? The biggest fear most people have with boundaries is coming across as rude, harsh or mean, especially when it is someone we care deeply about. We may also worry that we may hurt someone’s feelings or that they may not want to continue to have a relationship with them if we have a serious discussion about boundaries. We want to compromise, but we also need for our own needs to be met.

Barbra Russell gives us 3 steps to follow when setting a boundary.

“Step 1: Say what you don’t like (without attacking the others character) Step 2: Say what you want (specifically) Step 3: Set a consequence.”

This sounds pretty simple, but let’s look at exactly how to put it into practice. Barbra explains two examples. Here is an example of a woman who might set a boundary, “Step 1: We’ve been so busy, we don’t take time to show affection and that’s important to me.

Step 2:So I’d like for you to kiss me every morning before work and we talk to each other for at least half an hour after the kids are asleep. Step 3: I’ll remind you for a few times until we make this a habit.”

Here is an example of a boundary a man might set, according to Barbra, “Step 1: I need time to myself when I first come home from work so I can clear my mind.

Step 2: I’d like 30 minutes of quiet time before I help with dinner or with the kids. Step 3.I’ll go into my ‘man cave’ every day for 30 minutes.”

It can feel scary or needy to ask for more affection or for time away from your significant other and kids. We may worry we will hurt their feelings or make them feel judged or criticized. But if we don’t communicate our needs, we can feel stressed or resentful and that can be toxic to a healthy relationship.

When expressing what you don’t like, try to make it a request that your partner can easily fulfill. Try to keep emotions such as anger, frustration, etc out of the equation. Make sure what you want is something reasonable and specific. The consequence should not skew negative. It may take some time to put the new actions into place, since it can take some time to change and break a habit. So be patient and kind to your partner as this transition is happening. Also ask for your partner to be patient with you.

Communication Between The Sexes

Communicating with anyone can be hard, and there are some fundamental differences in how men and women think and communicate. Understanding these differences can help us feel more seen and heard. Barbra explains it very clearly, “She ‘connects’ more memories, words and thoughts faster, and tends to talk ‘in circles,’ bringing up one thing, then another before arriving at the final thought or solution. His brain works more efficiently, thinking in a ‘straight line,’ solving a problem by quickly giving advice or a solution.”

Communicate directly what you want from your partner. Barbra gives the examples, “She says, ‘I just need you to listen, while I talk this through.’ He instructs, ‘Write down what you need me to do, because I’m likely to forget.”

Again, ask for what you want and communicate what you think can be helpful to your relationship. Make sure it is a request and an actionable step, such as writing something down or listening as someone processes their thoughts. Keep any judgements out if, you don’t want to judge your partner for thinking and processing things differently that you do. Use positive reinforcement to encourage each other.

One main reward is your relationship will probably start to feel easier and you will both feel more supported. Compliment each other frequently and let them know how much you appreciate them doing what you asked for and explain how it makes you feel so much better.

This is a process, so patience is key. Understanding these communication differences can help same sex couples and can also help you communicate in friendships as well. If you identify as gender fluid or non-binary then you may find yourself falling somewhere along this spectrum.

How Our Brains Look For What’s Wrong

Sometimes couples that have been together for a while start to focus more on the negative aspects of their relationship and less on the positive ones. They may lose sight of what brought them together initially.

This can become even more challenging as couples build a life together, raise children together, focus on extended family and career obligations. Barbra states, “Our brains are designed to look for what’s wrong – a survival mechanism to keep us alive – but in a relationship, the ratio often becomes 90:10, with the 90% of what’s right, what you like about the other person is taken for granted and we focus on the 10% — what you don’t like, what’s irritating, etc.” This can start a negative pattern or downward spiral. Barbra explains, “What you focus on gets bigger. Therefore, the more you focus on what’s wrong, the bigger problem that becomes.” We have all experienced this in other aspects of our lives as well, where we focus on the negative and the problem spirals. We can begin to feel discouraged or even hopeless that our situation can change.

Barbra offers some helpful solutions, “Compliment more than you complain.” If you find yourself complaining alot, take a step back and try to turn the situation around. Try to compliment your partner on what they are doing well and make them feel appreciated for all of their positive qualities.

Her second tip is, “Do the things you used to do that made them fall in love.” Maybe you used to go on dates to your favorite restaurant in the beginning but now you don’t anymore because you’d have to get a sitter. Or maybe you used to cook together, but with work schedules you don’t have the time. Try to make an effort to do these things together to make you feel more connected and to just have more fun together.

Lastly, Barbra states,”Provide safety by listening before you talk.” Let your partner get their full ideas out there before responding. Try not to interrupt. It can be easy to get defensive or feel misunderstood. Even if you don’t agree with their comment, try to really see their point of view and why they may feel this way. You want to get to a resolution and both be understood, not be right or wrong or assign blame.

Trying It Out

Personally I used to be more hesitant to bring up these conversations for fear of hurting the other person’s feelings or worrying how they would react. I also felt like I didn’t know how to communicate what I wanted to say in the most productive way. But then I would feel as though the issues would remain and that was stressful in it’s own way. Learning how to communicate in a positive and healthy way has made me feel like my relationships are stronger.

Try using these skills in your relationships and see if you feel more confident and positive about your relationship and yourself. Being a great communicator can help you not only in your romantic relationships, but friendships, family and work relationships. Setting boundaries and having a positive mindset can make you feel like the best version of yourself.

10 Inspirational TV Characters who Claimed (or Reclaimed) Their Self-Worth

September 30, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I love a good badass female character.

Some women on TV are truly inspirational. Whether they’re kicking butt in a Medieval fantasy world or following their dreams in a suburban office, I love getting motivated after watching a strong woman on television.

Here are 10 women who claimed (or reclaimed) their self-worth.

1. Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones

In Medieval times, women were often in submissive roles. Not Brienne of Tarth—she spent Game of Thrones fighting on the front lines. I admired the way she didn’t let Jaime Lannister hold her down. She got on with life and became a knight too. Brienne flips gender roles on their head and helps me remember that I may not necessarily need a partner in life to succeed.

2. Jess from 13 Reasons Why

Jessica Davis has gone through hell and back in the Netflix teen drama 13 Reasons Why. While I never have experienced sexual assault, I admired Jess specifically in the latest season. She was fierce, she was bold and she was a good friend. I found the scene where she spoke at a school assembly prompting a “#MeToo”-esque moment to be particularly empowering.

3. Donna Meagle from Parks and Recreation

There’s a reason Retta’s Parks and Rec character coined the phrase “Treat yo self.” Donna Meagle is the epitome of self-worth. She never lost hers, she just always seemed to know that she was worth it throughout the show’s seven seasons. If there is anyone who taught me the importance of self-care, it’s Donna. I’ve even had my own “treat yo self” days and when they were over, I felt more refreshed and ready to take on the world than ever.

4. Gloria Pritchett in Modern Family

Part of the reason Gloria Pritchett is so sexy is because she has confidence just oozing out of her. Now about to enter its 11th season, Modern Family was a way for me to see an outspoken, self-assured woman on TV each week. I love that Gloria is so family-oriented and always stands up to Jay whenever she believes something isn’t right.

5. Beth from This is Us

Learning about Susan Kelechi Watson’s Beth on This is Us every Tuesday night has been so entertaining and moving at the same time. While Gloria stands up to her husband in a comedic way, Beth makes sure Randall knows they are indeed equal on all parts. She refuses to back down during his whole councilman campaign and even in her episode featuring her backstory, she is fiercely independent. Seeing Beth’s personality unfold, all the while keeping her self-worth has made me feel like I can do anything in the world. Beth has taught me to remain on equal ground with my significant other and to keep my head up with whatever happens in life.

6. Mindy Lahiri from The Mindy Project

Mindy Kaling’s The Mindy Project character was so unapologetically unique. The best part of watching the series is that the character knows she’s not perfect and embraces that. It makes things fun watching her story unfold, as she doesn’t apologize for being who she is. Mindy Lahiri helped me realize that I don’t need to apologize for every little thing—the word sorry should not be used as often as I use it!

7. Peggy Olson from Mad Men

That iconic scene of Peggy walking into McCann Erickson like a boss will forever be a mood I aspire to be. Her literal IDGAF attitude is, as the kids say these days #goals. I remember watching that moment in bed when Mad Men was still airing new episodes. I immediately wanted to channel that confidence and badassery and still think of that scene when I need a boost of self-worth.

8. Liz Lemon from 30 Rock

Liz Lemon was arguably one of the best characters on television. I was researching her iconic quotes and couldn’t stop laughing at some of them. She was such an excellent representation of the everywoman. I love that she knew her self-worth and wasn’t afraid to tell partners exactly who she is. Lemon is the ultimate feminist. For example, her walks of shame? She calls them “strides of pride.”

9. Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy

Over the past 15 years, Meredith Grey has been through literally everything—and she’s still standing. I admire Ellen Pompeo’s character for being a single working mom. She is able to be a successful, working surgeon and care for her three children. She has lots of wonderful help from the females in her world too, whether it’s Dr. Maggie Pierce or Dr. Amelia Shepherd.

10. Pam from The Office

Jenna Fischer’s character Pam is one of my favorites of all time from my favorite show to boot. I think her portrayal was quite realistic, as she began engaged to another man who was clearly not a good match for her but she wanted to do the “right” thing. Pam eventually reclaims her self-worth and leaves Roy, realizing he didn’t support her art aspirations (and the fact that Jim was clearly her soulmate!). I often think of Pam when I want to rid myself of negative people in my life.

10 of the Creepiest Couples Ever

October 29, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Just in time for Halloween, here are 10 of the creepiest, kookiest, spine-tingling couples we could find.

From Gomez and Morticia from The Addams Family to Nick and Amy Dunne in Gone Girl, these 10 couples were always intriguing to me.

Maybe you’ll find out some new information about these romantic couples with a spooky twist. While I admire how romantic some are, others are just plain scary!

1. Gomez and Morticia Addams, The Addams Family

Gomez and Morticia may live in a creepy haunted house surrounded by equally creepy family members, but when it comes to romance, they are #couplegoals. The way Gomez treats Morticia like a queen is a way all women should be treated. Not to mention, Morticia’s dress is amazingly goth and sexy.

2. Bonnie & Clyde

Bonnie and Clyde were a criminal couple who robbed banks, small stores and gas stations during the Great Depression era. In 1967, a movie starring Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway romanticized the couple. Even Jay-Z and Beyoncé collaborated on a song, “‘03 Bonnie & Clyde.” While I don’t condone becoming a criminal couple and touring the country, I think people feel that there is something oddly romantic about being on the run.

3. The Phantom and Christine, Phantom of the Opera

Opera singer Christine falls in love with the creepy Phantom in the iconic Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. Their relationship is spooky, as the Phantom dons a half mask to hide his disfigurement. The romantic part of the story is that it teaches compassion. Christine accepted the Phantom for who he was and in turn, changed him. It’s part of the reason I loved (and still love!) the show—it’s a great lesson in compassion, with a fun, eerie twist.

4. Sam and Molly, Ghost

Who could forget the memorable scene with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore and an intense pottery session? It is often called one of the romantic scenes of all time. Of course, Patrick Swayze was a ghost in it, adding to the supernatural feel of the movie. It’s a passionate movie about protection and everlasting love.

5. Ed and Lorraine Warren

One of the only modern scary movies to actually really scare me in recent years was The Conjuring. Once I learned that the couple who were paranormal investigators were based on a real-life duo, I was intrigued. While I don’t think I could spend decades exploring ghosts and other supernatural beings, I have to admire their years of working together under stressful, incredibly scary circumstances.

6. Eleven and Mike, Stranger Things

The cutest couple on this list is definitely Eleven and Mike. Especially with the latest season of the show, I adore how sweet their new early teens romance is. Of course, their relationship is explored with the backdrop of spooky demagorgons and the Upside Down. I enjoy watching Mike and Eleven fall for each other and I think that the scary things happening around them help drive their love.

7. Al and Mae Capone

Early 1900s gangster Al Capone and his wife Mae are great Halloween costume ideas. Like Bonnie and Clyde, I definitely don’t advise getting into mob activity. However, believe it or not, despite his line of work in the mob, Mae and Al had a happy marriage and were together for almost 30 years.

8. Chris and Rose, Get Out

Ugh, I just shivered typing this. Get Out was one of the scariest movies I’ve seen in a long time. It was a thoughtful, suspenseful thriller that began with what viewers thought was a solid relationship. Of course, we all see later just how deadly Rose was. If anything, Get Out taught me that people aren’t always what they seem.

9. Adam and Barbara, Beetlejuice

Adam and Barbara Maitland live most of Beetlejuice as ghosts, making them inherently spooky. What I liked most about them in the movie was that all they wanted to do was live out their afterlife in peace in their house (the exact way they left it!). Adam and Barbara are both ghosts, which once again makes for quite the creepy pair. I loved the chemistry between Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis. I especially enjoyed the comedy-horror aspect of the movie too.

10. Nick and Amy Dunne, Gone Girl

The strange and frightening couple at the center of the thriller Gone Girl are just plain scary. I remember watching the movie and my mouth dropping more and more open in shock. Thinking back about the film, I still can’t believe a couple can become that deep in such a twisted scandal. It makes me think that I had better me 100 percent sure about who I marry!

5 Ways to Get Through Awkward Holiday Situations with Your Significant Other

November 14, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Let’s face it, as fun as the holidays are, they sure can be awkward sometimes.

If you are headed to your partner’s hometown this festive season, you’ll want to be prepared.

Here are five situations and solutions to get through awkward holiday situations with your significant other.

1. A nosy mother

Let’s face it, all moms want to do is protect their children. If you encounter a mom who takes you aside to ask some intrusive questions, or flat out interrogates you at Thanksgiving dinner, just take a deep breath and don’t be impulsive. Remember, while a mother may come off as a little too nosy, she’s just being a mama bear to her baby. If the conversation gets a little too awkward, just direct things back to the celebration at hand—comment on how good a dish is or thank whoever brought the wine. Chances are, it will lighten the mood and quite possibly help your significant other’s mother feel more at ease with you.

2. A creepy uncle

Ugh there’s always one and unfortunately, even in the #MeToo age, they are still around. It’s important to set your boundaries as soon as you get odd vibes from a creepy uncle. Don’t be afraid to tell him no, loud and clear. Stopping things early is the best option to keep you safe and avoid any not only awkward, but dangerous situations too. Your significant other should respect you for sticking up for yourself. If they don’t, it might be worth having a talk about your relationship, as your own self-worth should be the most important aspect of your life.

3. A grandma who means well but really wants you two to marry.

Oh goodness do I have a meddling grandma! My last surviving grandparent is now 90 and is pretty tech savvy for her age. Thank goodness she did this via text instead of at a holiday table, but she once texted me a huge message saying that my boyfriend hasn’t married me yet because he only wants friendship and I leave him and should try CatholicMatch.com instead. I kid you not! I am cracking up again now as I write this. After being utterly appalled, I now laugh about it. I sent my grandma a text saying I appreciate her watching out for me but my partner and I are happy. That’s exactly what you should say at a holiday get-together too. Most of the time, all grandparents want is to make sure their grandchildren are happy. Sometimes they just show it in mortifying ways!

4. Kid cousins who ask a lot of questions

I adore children but my goodness, can some of them ask a lot of questions! If you find yourself in the hot seat with your boyfriend or girlfriend’s kid cousins, answer what you want to. If things get to be too much, start turning the conversation around and asking them questions. Kids love to talk about themselves and many will be happy you are taking a genuine interest in them. If you are not great with kids, this recent SNL skit was so funny and may help with any nerves you have. Also, as someone who used to be the oldest of my brood of siblings and cousins, I remember adoring aunts and uncles who took an interest in me and what my life was like at that moment of my childhood.

5. Dads big on the dad jokes

Dads and their dad jokes will withhold the test of time! The best thing you can do if you encounter a dad who loves to make embarrassing, cringeworthy jokes is to laugh at them. He will be so happy that someone finds them funny and endearing. However, the only time you shouldn’t laugh at jokes dad makes is when they are racially, sexual orientation or gender insensitive. If they are in poor taste, take your significant other aside and explain that you are not a fan of their father’s sense of humor. It’s up to them on how they want to take it up with dad. As much as you want to be welcomed into their family, it’s not worth it to risk your personal values.

Gratitude for Non-Romantic Relationships: Embrace the Love in Your Life

November 28, 2019January 22, 2024 by Clementine Francesin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Sometimes we don’t have love like in the movies and it gets us down. You know?

Big sweeping, ring on fingers, declarations of happy ever after, or even someone to come home to each night. It’s natural to want something that you have been told you should have and something so many people around you have, but not having it does not mean there isn’t an abundance of love in your life.

For a very long time I could not see the love in my life, and I felt very alone. But, over time my brain started to clear up and I looked around and saw that I am surrounded by people who want me in their life. In accepting that there are people who love you, it opens you up to BE love to those around you.

Love doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. Here’s how to see the love you already have in your life.

Invitations

Your roommate who invites you to their game night. Sometimes we are annoyed by people who invite us to things we aren’t interested in instead of realizing that there is someone who wants our company. I’ve definitely made every effort to disconnect from people who want me to engage with them because sometimes it’s draining, but the overwhelming sense of despair that comes with the thought that no one cares about you is also draining!

So, say yes to game night.

Of course, you do not have to go to every game night you’re invited to, but what if you did just this once? Maybe it’ll be the most fun night or maybe it’ll be an okayish night but maybe it won’t hurt. I’ve made every effort to decline Dungeons and Dragons invites, but next time my roommate asks me I’m going to say yes!

Road Trips

Your co worker who you’ve known for years and are pretty friendly says they are going to Maine and they ask you if you want to come.

Now, you’ve never been to Maine. Heck, you’ve never been to The Bronx.

Your first instinct is to say no, because that is always your first instinct, but you’ve known this person for a while and you actually trust them enough and they’re sort of like your family.

Stephen King books are set in Maine and you love Stephen King. You tell yourself you don’t have enough money but maybe you do for a two day trip because you never spend the money doing anything else anyway!

The friend who invites you to Maine is saying to you, “I value your company and I value you enough to go on an adventure with you.”

Embrace Friend Fans

You’re a talented artist. You have an art exhibit coming up. Actually, you’ve had several art things over the years and your peers say they want to come see. You tell them no because “your work is not that good”, or “it’s uncomfortable having people you know judging your work” not realizing that ultimately they just want to support you.

Since you have art shows all around town maybe you’re actually quite good and your friends just want to be a part of something that matters to you. Even if you aren’t good it’s nice that people want to be apart of something that matters to you because they want to know what you care about and care about it too.

Let friends celebrate you.

Receive the Gift of a Playlist

Your sister keeps recommending artists she likes to you, but you really hate Jazz music. But, it’s kind of cool that someone says here are somethings I like I want you to like it too. Of course, you may never like Jazz, but maybe the sound may not be your forte but could the lyrics be? Maybe you can recommend your K-pop faves to your sister? She doesn’t like K-pop? That’s fine. You don’t like Jazz. But maybe knowing what each other loves is a step closer to bonding. Perhaps, you find that music is not where you click, but your both big fans of crochet and voila you’ve found a friend in your sister!

What I’m saying is love comes to us in many ways through many people and even if we don’t have romantic love, we can find good love in our lives: if we see it, if we accept it, if we engage.

I give thanks for love.

10 Romantic and Sexy Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Significant Other

December 1, 2019January 22, 2024 by Kate Oczypokin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

Everyone always teases me about how much I love tradition.

I think that’s partly why I am so thrown by the fact that my boyfriend and I decided to stay home for Thanksgiving this year. While I was sad about it at first, it was exciting in a way to create our own little family traditions. This got me thinking about starting holiday traditions with your significant other.

That being said, here are 10 ways to create lovely, sexy traditions with your partner this December.

1. Attend your neighborhood tree or menorah lighting.

Many communities host a neighborhood tree or menorah lighting. There’s nothing more romantic than sharing a kiss during a countdown to light hundreds of twinkling lights. Bonus points if snow starts falling making for some wholesome Hallmark Christmas movie-esque fun. Visit your local city council or community page online for more details.

2. Make sexy stockings together.

This is definitely for when the kids are NOT around! Making sexy stockings is a two-parter—first, innocently decorate your stocking. Use glitter, buttons, sequins, you name it. Next, give yourselves a week or two to acquire all of the sexiest items you can stuff in there—bras, condoms, vibrators, sexy Christmas boxers (they’re a thing!), you name it. Open them together and watch for the reactions that will have you in the bedroom all night long.

3. Bake Christmas cookies or challah bread together—with a twist.

Sure, baking Christmas cookies or challah bread together is innocent enough. Have you ever done it in your underwear though? Bring on the ultra sexy when you lick off some spilled icing right there, or playfully throw some flour on your partner’s nose before you go in for a kiss.

4. Decorate your Christmas tree, then make love underneath it.

Did you ever decorate your tree as a kid, then lay underneath it, gazing up into the glittering lights above? This is the adult version. Decorate your Christmas tree and once you’re done, lay out your coziest blanket and cuddle together underneath it. Who knows, the romance of it all could lead to some serious lovemaking.

5. Do adult versions of Elf on the Shelf.

This one is just plain funny and best if you don’t have any children (or keep it to your bedroom only). Each night or morning while your partner is busy getting ready for work or sleeping, etc. take an Elf on the Shelf doll and make it do something not suited for young eyes. Mr. Elf could be getting it on with Barbie, an Elf on a makeshift stripper pole or an Elf in bed with another doll. This is especially great for couples who love making each other laugh.

6. Leave naughty or nice notes around the house.

Leave notes around the house for your significant other to find. They can be nice, with compliments that are sweet like “You have the most gorgeous blue eyes,” or naughty, letting them know what you plan to do in bed that night. Have fun leaving them all over the house, from the bathroom mirror to their sock drawer and more.

7. Celebrate Saint Nicholas Day.

If you ever got to celebrate Saint Nicholas Day as a child, it was fun to leave your shoes out for “Saint Nick” and get candy and small toys the next day. Take this tradition and give it an adult twist by buying the sexiest lingerie for yourself and leave it tucked in your partner’s shoes. Let them know that Saint Nick thought they were a good boy or girl so you’ll be wearing just the lingerie when they get home that night.

8. Do some Christmas movies and chilling.

Just like Netflix and chilling, have your loved one and you each pick your favorite holiday movie. Make some popcorn, mix some cocktails and have a cozy and romantic night in. If you have a fireplace, put that on too (I’m jealous if you do!).

9. Do a 12 Dates of Christmas, getting progressively naughtier with each one.

The seemingly never-ending song can get a sexy twist this holiday season by sitting down with your partner and creating the 12 “dates” of Christmas. Pick 12 things to do this holiday season and get progressively naughtier with each one. You could start with going out for hot chocolate and strolling around your neighborhood to see the lights to getting handsy in a movie theater during a showing of the latest holiday movie and many more.

10. Build gingerbread houses together.

Building gingerbread houses together is a fun and simple way to enjoy each other’s company. By sitting down for a long period of time and putting something together is a good way to learn about how you work as a team. This is also a great tradition for newer couples, as it’s an enjoyable way to get to know each other.

New Relationship? Take This Quiz to See If You’re Ready to Spend the Holidays with Your Significant Other

December 23, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

With the holidays fast approaching, you’re probably wondering if you and your new honey are ready to spend the season together. But going to your partner’s family home over the holidays can be a big deal.

Not only is there the stress of getting to know your partner’s whole family, but there’s the added pressure of what it means to take this momentous step. For some, bringing a partner to their home for the holidays is a way of saying you’re “serious,” some might even see it as a sort of pre-engagement. It’s a big deal.

So, how do you know if you’re ready?

Answer the questions below to find out if you should spend the holidays with your sweetie.

1. Do you see yourself spending the next year together?

It’s a simple question, but at the same time, not so simple. There’s no relationship crystal ball. You can’t know for sure if you’re going to be together in a year, six months, or even a month from now. Especially in new relationships, it’s hard to anticipate what will happen next.

But two things you can track is how you feel and what your intentions are. Start asking yourself how the relationship has been going so far. Have you seen any red flags? Or has everything been smooth sailing? Do you want to be with this person in the long term, or do you see it as just a fling?

Just because a relationship is new doesn’t mean it isn’t serious. If you find yourself wanting to be together 6 months from now, or even a year from now, go ahead and spend the holidays together. You might even end up feeling closer over the holiday season, and bonding even more.

If, on the other hand, your not sure if you see each other together in the coming months, if things are already rocky and you’re not sure if this person is a potential for, say, marriage—maybe skip it. Spending time with a partner’s family probably isn’t going to make a relationship better, so don’t waste your (or your partner’s) time.

2. Do you talk about your families all the time, but haven’t met them?

For some people, family is a big deal.

Have you noticed your partner talks about family often? Does he or she mention the crazy things their sister does or the sweet things their dad used to do when they were growing up? Do they look forward to visits with their nieces and nephews?

If this sounds like your partner (or even if it sounds like you!) meeting the family might be a bigger deal than you think.

If family is a big deal to one, or both of you, meeting the family may be a make-or-break scenario. Some people consider it a “deal breaker” if their family doesn’t like, or get along with, a partner. While this certainly isn’t the case with everyone (I once had a friend who more or less stopped talking to his entire family because they were rude to his wife) if your partner really cares about their family’s opinion, it could affect your relationship.

If this is the case, meeting the family (and seeing how you get along) is probably a good thing to do sooner rather than later.

3. Do you want to move forward in your relationship?

Maybe you, or your partner, aren’t particularly close with your families. Maybe you’ve been out on your own for a while and whether or not your family “approves” of your partner isn’t that big of a deal to you. And yet, meeting family over the holiday might still be a big deal to both of you.

Meeting family doesn’t have to be a big to-do or have underpinnings of a “test.” Spending time with family doesn’t have to be about whether or not the family likes a new partner. Sometimes, it’s just about you two, and wanting to show each other that you’re serious about your relationship.

Going to a partner’s house for the holidays can be a big step, and being willing to do that together can mean a lot to some couples.

Of course, spending the holidays together shouldn’t be a way to “prove” your commitment, and agreeing to go to Christmas at your partner’s family home doesn’t take the place of having that good old fashion “where are we?” talk. But spending the holidays together, and with each other’s families, can be a good way to show each other that you’re really taking the relationship seriously.

4. Do you want to go for it?

Perhaps you simply want to go to your partner’s family home for the holidays.

Spending time together doesn’t have to have an ulterior motive—like moving forward in a relationship. Maybe you want your relationship to stay the same. Maybe you just don’t have anywhere else to go for the holidays. Or maybe you simply think it would be fun.

While some couples think spending the holidays together is a big step, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. Talk about it beforehand, and if you both seem like you’re on the same page, go for it. Even if you’re not thinking your relationship is very “serious” now, maybe you two have the makings for something more. No matter what, wanting to spend time with your partner is a good sign.

On the other hand, it’s when you’re feeling a sense of dread about going to his or her home for the holidays, that you have to look out for.

If your partner asked you if you to come over for the holidays, and your immediate reaction was panic, you may want to consider the possibility that this may not be the right relationship for you.

Whether you’re hoping to take your relationship to the next level this season, or are just hoping for great company over the holidays, spending time with your new partner’s family can be fun and exciting. But before you pack your bags, make sure you’re ready for this big step.

Great Ways to Celebrate New Years Eve (For Just the Two of You)

December 30, 2019January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

New Year’s Eve is one of my favorite holidays. There’s no presents to shop for, no big family commitments, just silly fun and a celebration of good times past and present. It’s perfect!

But New Year’s is especially fun if you have someone special to spend it with. Not only do you have someone to kiss at midnight (which can be an awkward moment otherwise) but you also have the opportunity to celebrate the new year in a different way.

While going out to a New Year’s party can be loads of fun, there’s a different kind of joy in ringing in the new year in a smaller way: just you and your sweetie.

Here are some fun New Year’s Eve date ideas that you and your partner will love.

1. Become your own bartender

One thing I love about New Year’s parties is that there are always fun and festive drinks. There are so many creative cocktails around this time of year, from egg nog to “peppermintinis,” to my favorite: “jingle juice.” And that doesn’t stop on new years. You can always find colorful cocktails and a fun new take on the classic glass of champagne.

But my favorite part isn’t necessarily drinking these fun cocktails—I also love mixing them too!

Back when my husband and I were dating, we started making a tradition of spending New Year’s Eve at home and mixing cocktails. I’d find a few fun recipes online and we’d spend the evening mixing drinks and making boozy cupcakes as we watched movies.

It was a great way for two early twenty-somethings to expand our taste buds with exotic drinks and save some money on bar tabs.

2. Make a romantic dinner for two

Lots of people go out to dinner for New Year’s because it’s a fun, mature alternative to going to a house party. But one of my favorite ways to celebrate with my husband is actually making dinner at home.

To be honest, I’ve always worried about going out on New Year’s. On New Year’s, there are so many people out on the road at all hours, possibly drinking and driving, so while I always love going out to dinner, a few years ago my husband and I started a tradition of making a romantic dinner at home on New Year’s Eve.

While we’d been mixing cocktails at home in the years prior, we realized that New Year’s was the perfect night to go all out with a fancy dinner. We switched out our cocktail recipe tradition for cook books, and started making December 31st about an amazing date night in.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are known for big meals with family, but this can be a special time for just you. I love making lasagna, but you two could make whatever your favorite dinner is, or use this as an excuse to try something brand new.

It’s fun to cook together and even more fun to eat dinner by candlelight, just the two of you.

You can even watch the ball drop as you eat some late night dessert!

3. See a movie

Just because you and your honey want to celebrate New Year’s alone, doesn’t mean you have to stay home.

I know a couple who love going out on New Year’s Eve—but they don’t go to parties, they go out to the movies. They got the idea from another family who went to the movies every year on Christmas Eve, and they wanted to do the same for New Year’s.

They pick a movie and see a late showing, and by the time they get out, it’s just about time to countdown to the new year. They have so much fun having a night out, and while everyone else is out at parties, they love having the theater nearly to themselves.

4. Make a time capsule

One thing I love about New Year’s is that it’s a great opportunity to look back on everything my husband and I have done over the last year.

To celebrate the year, we like to make a time capsule on New Years Eve. We collect photos, ticket stubs, notes (and more) and put them in a shoebox to look at next year. Then we look at the box we created the year before.

Time capsules don’t have to be big or fancy, they could just be a collection of a couple momentos and maybe a list of your favorite memories together from the year. But whether you go minimal or all out, it’s a great opportunity to spend time with your sweetie and talk about all the great memories you’ve made together..

New Years is a great time to celebrate the past, future, and time with your honey. This year, try one of these fun ideas, and who knows, maybe you’ll end up making a new tradition for years to come!

New Year’s Resolutions for Better Friendships in 2020

January 7, 2020January 22, 2024 by Jillian Pretzelin LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS

I love New Year’s resolutions. They’re an excuse to challenge myself and set new goals for the year ahead. I’m pretty serious about sticking to them, too. I like to write my goals for the year on a piece of paper and tape it to the fridge so that I always remember my plans, and can cross them out as I accomplish them.

Usually, I make goals for my career, exercise goals, and plans for how many books I want to read that year. But this year my goals are a little different.

After a big move this year, I realized that friendships are really important to me. Not only do I miss my friends back home, but I had to make all new friends in my new city. I learned how important friendships are to me, so this year I’m making resolutions to be a better friend and have better friendships.

Here are my resolutions for better friendships in 2020.

1. Set aside time for friendships

To have better friendships, you have to be a better friend. And part of that is making friendships a priority.

Being in a relationship for so long, I’ve found that I often put friendships on the backburner, preferring to spend time with my husband rather than make plans with friends.

But I realize that I need to maintain friendships in order to keep them. When you don’t make time for a friend, they can start to fade out of your life. You both forget to call, don’t think to invite each other over, one of you moves, and suddenly you don’t know each other anymore. It’s the worst.

Of course, there are exceptions to this. I have some friends who I can not see for years and when we do finally get together, it’s like no time has passed. But especially with new friends, if you don’t spend time developing a friendship, the relationship can crumble.

One of my biggest resolutions this year is to make more time for friends. For me, making time to go out to dinner with just one friend, one time a week, is a great improvement. But maybe you’re more flexible and can make more time for friends.

Maybe your resolution could be calling 5 different friends a week. Or maybe you want to go to lunch with someone new from your office every day until you’ve met everyone. It’s easy to cater this resolution to your friend goals and no matter how you do it, you’re sure to have lots of fun.

2. Remember birthdays

One way to show your friends you care is to remember their birthdays. And I’m not just talking about about posting on their Facebook wall.

It means so much to people when you remember their birthday. It shows that you care and that you want to celebrate them. When my friends have reached out to me before my birthday, asking if I wanted to go out for a drink for my special day, it has meant so much to me. Even when friends follow through and show up for birthday celebrations means a lot.

That’s why one goal I’m making this year is to remember my friends’ birthdays. I’m looking up everyone’s birthdays and writing them down in my calendar. I’ll try to make sure we make time to celebrate but even if I just end up sending a card or even a text to friends for their birthdays, I know that it will probably mean a lot.

3. Planning activities your friends will like

I love planning hang outs with friends. But I especially love planning hang outs at places I love.

I’m always asking friends if they want to go to the local wine bar or go and see a comedy show. But somehow I never seem to be free when friends ask me to do things they like to do. I almost always turn down requests to go to restaurants I don’t like and for activities I don’t particularly enjoy. Funny how that works.

But this year, I’m changing that.

I’m making a goal to try to do more things that my friends like. When I know I’m going to see my craft-loving friend, I’ll offer to go to a knitting class and when I’m planning to see my outdoorsie friend, I’ll ask her to go on a hike.

It’s a great way to show that I value our friendship (and my friend’s interests), plus, it’s a good way to expand my own interests.

4. Double date

Hanging out with friends is a great way to bond. But going out on a double date? That’s a whole new level. It’s one thing to talk to your friend, but a whole other thing to get to know their partner (whether they be short term partners or long term relationships), and let your friends get to know who you’re with.

It can be a great way to get to know each other better, and if your partners get along too, it could be a great way to expand your friendship to include “couple activities.”

5. Be a great conversationalist

It’s so fun to talk to friends, except when it’s not. I’ve definitely had friends who were not always super fun to talk to. I know a few people who always seem to be complaining about work or complaining about other friends. I also know a few people who practically zone out when I’m talking. They’re the kind of people who wait to talk, instead of listen.

And don’t get me wrong, I can complain about stupid stuff and I can also sound like a broken record when talking about work. But it’s nice to talk to friends about interesting things, intellectually stimulating things, and to have fun when we’re talking.

So, this year I’m determined to be a better conversationalist. I’ll keep myself updated on interesting news stories, but I’ll also try to be more engaging and be a better listener.

If you’re looking to make better friendships in 2020, sometimes you have to be a better friend. These tips will help you to improve your friendships skills and friendships in the new year!