DATING ADVICE Archives - Page 7 of 16

What Your Text Punctuation Means About You in Relationship

April 15, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

The way you use an exclamation point can change your dating life.

Texting removes the vocal cues we once used to overanalyze if someone liked us. Now we have to look at 140 to 160 characters — and with less raw data to work with, our overanalyzing hits a whole different level of insanity. One key aspect of that insanity is reading way too much into every nuance of every text message, especially punctuation. So … here are the clues his/her punctuation choices are sending (and also the clues you’re sending right back).

1. PERIOD.

Meaning: You don’t want to keep going back and forth all night.

In texting, you don’t have to end a sentence with any punctuation. It’s totally acceptable to just let it dangle. So using a period gives a certain air of finality to a statement. Compare:

I’m heading out to the party now.
I’m heading out to the party now

In the first one, the meaning is clear: we’ve had our back-and-forth over text, but I have plans, and they do not include continuing this conversation — period. In the second one, without the period, it feels much more open-ended — I’m heading out to the party now but who knows what I’m doing later, and you just might be part of it. Periods end things. Leaving one out keeps things open.

2. EXCLAMATION POINT!

Meaning: Something between playful and desperate, depending on usage.

The exclamation point is the most valuable punctuation mark you have in your arsenal, but it’s also the most dangerous. When used properly, a single exclamation point can set a light tone, convey excitement, and even demonstrate interest. Compare:

Sounds good. Not sure if we’re going but I might see you at the party. If you leave, let me know
Sounds good. Not sure if we’re going but I might see you at the party. If you leave, let me know!

The person in the second example seems far, far more interested in getting together … and did it without changing a word.

It’s always better to play it cool than to play it like a 12-year-old writing YouTube comments.
But be careful. Exclamation points are the most abused piece of punctuation in our world today. When you start overusing exclamation points, you look like an amateur:

Sounds good! Not sure if we’re going but I might see you at the party! If you leave, let me know!

The first exclamation point is OK … the second is way too overeager … and the third is just flat-out desperate. And when in doubt, get rid of the exclamation point. It’s always better to play it cool than to play it like a 12-year-old writing YouTube comments.

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Flirting as Naturally as Possible

April 22, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE

” You have to make the guy think he’s making the first move when you’re the one really doing it…”

Lately, I’ve been getting pitches from so-called flirting and dating experts to write about them. While their bios are always interesting, I have to wonder how gifted they are in the romance department. What qualifies someone as a dating expert anyway? Someone who goes on a lot of dates?

If that’s the main criteria, then I already have insider access to one of the greatest dating experts out there. And she happens to be my best friend: P.

P isn’t a supermodel, but she is a beautiful girl—the type of person that turns heads when she walks down the street. She is a smooth cocktail composed of confidence, sex appeal, looks and sweetness. And she gets more guys than anyone I know.

While taking the train home from work one day, I chat with her about the art of flirting. We’ve both read countless articles about the basic Dos and Don’ts of the courtship game—as you probably have too.

The rules, which are pretty standard and obvious, sound something like this:

Lock eyes for several seconds, then, look away
Smile and act happy
Mimic the other person’s body language
Show off your neck (for the ladies)
Wear red lipstick (for the ladies)

Having been in a relationship for the last year and a half, I feel a little rusty in my flirting aptitude. Still, I have always recalled these rules of attraction dutifully.

But P, the resident expert and boy magnet, tells me she has improved on the old school dogma. Attracting someone should be a little more subtle, she says. In other words, don’t make it seem like you’re flirting.

And this is when our simple conversation turns into a life lesson.

“Jen,” she says, ” You have to make the guy think he’s making the first move when you’re the one really doing it…”

Give me an example, I ask her. She provides two. (Of course she does.)

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Millennials Dish on Dating Older

April 24, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

May-December romances are frequently misunderstood. When you’re dating someone older, people might assume that the dynamic of the relationship is unhealthy or fundamentally unequal.

The ‘gold digger’ stigma can also come into play, and suggests that people choose older partners solely for their money.

“It’s a time-honored tradition in Hollywood for older men to date younger women, and cougar couples have become all the rage as well,” the New York Daily News explained, in an introduction to a slideshow on the May-December relationship trope in the entertainment industry.

To learn more about what these relationships are really like, ATTN: reached out to four people who have dated someone older than themselves via email about their experiences and relationship advice.

Here are five tips for dating someone older than you.

1. Ignore the haters.

When your partner looks visibly older than you, people might get a little nasty.

Courtney Croft, a 26-year-old Nashville-based anthropologist married to a 40-year-old man, explained that while she and her partner didn’t encounter too many problems in their personal lives, other people didn’t always react well to their relationship.

“Most of the issues stemmed from other people’s initial negative reactions of us being together. It really weirded people out. I had some people flat out say it was gross that I was with someone so much older,” Croft said. “Or that certainly he had ill-intentions, because why else would a man his age be interested in someone so young? Now that we’ve been together for five years, that happens less frequently, but when he lets his beard grow out, which is gray, and we’re out in public together, we still get questioning looks from strangers.”

These stereotypes can also be internalized. Maya L., a 25-year-old writer who declined to give her last name, told ATTN: she had dated a 37-year-old man at 25, and a 29-year-old man when she was 22.

“I try to be open-minded, but sometimes you have to wonder why they’re at where they’re at. Is it weird they’re dating me (a child)?” she joked. “Is it weird they’ve been divorced, or weird that they’ve never been married?”

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How to Navigate the Grace Period

April 27, 2016January 22, 2024 by Christian Cintronin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Whether you’re hazy about commitment, new to a relationship, or playing the field it’s best to approach this grace period with honesty and mutual respect.

Dating is like buying a house. It may not be a particularly romantic metaphor, but they weren’t lying when they said, “Home is where your heart is.” Real relationships require work and commitment just like purchasing a new home. Before you move into a new house there is an escrow period. Why should your relationship be any different? There is a grace period after you met someone you really like and before you’ve decided to purchase a one-way ferry ticket to Monogamy Island? But how do you navigate this period? How do you talk about the rather tense subject of potentially sleeping with other people? And how do you ultimately know when you’re ready to commit?

Courtship has changed over the past 50 years. There was a simpler time when people got married as virgins, chaperones accompanied people on dates, and doctors endorsed cigarettes. But our sexually liberated times have given rise to people taking control over their sexual wants and needs. That’s great, but that can leave a lot of people with a murky understanding of what’s “normal” in dating. You probably don’t tell someone you’ve just met you’ve been casually seeing a few guys. You probably don’t want to spend your fourth date talking about Julia, your friend with benefits. You may not even want to mention them until you’ve dissolved your benefits agreement. But it’s important to find a balance between honesty and consideration for your and your partner’s feelings.

I personally have been on the receiving end of many an awkward conversation with guys I’ve really liked. “Sorry, I’ve been dating a couple of people and it’s really working out with someone else.” It’s like a gunshot wound to the chest. Here you are picking out china patterns and not only are you no longer in the running for America’s Next Top Partner your “relationship” was a figment of your imagination. That’s a tough, dry pill to swallow but it is a harsh reality for the new arena of dating in a post-Tinder, post-Sex and the City, pre-Apocalypse dating world. People will be dating, sleeping with, and talking to other people and you will need to find a way to navigate that space.

Whether you’re hazy about commitment, new to a relationship, or playing the field it’s best to approach this grace period with honesty and mutual respect. Let’s say you’ve met someone you really like and things are going really well. After a few dates you will want to check in on how you both are feeling. It doesn’t need to be a grandiose conversation about commitment. You will want to clear up if you are casually dating or seriously seeing each other. You may want to ask if they are seeing other people and disclose if you are. It’s also a good time to calmly tease your feelings on monogamy. It will be unclear until you mention it. Finding out your shiny new dance partner is dating a few other people can be a huge shock. So why not temper the surprise by being as honest as you can as early as you can? I have found it’s best to be honest because then you and your partner can approach your relationship as it is rather than how you both want it to be.

As your relationship progresses you’ll want to have periodic check-ins to be clear about how you are both seeing your future together. Do you want to be in a committed relationship, would you prefer a throuple, are you interested in open relationships? These are important conversations you will want to organically come to. You don’t need to push them, force them, or turn them into a huge confrontation. But it’s good to clear the air. Your best bet is a calm, casual four sentence conversation. You ask a question, they answer, you accept what they say, and you move on. This will avoid any needless escalation or discomfort. In my experience it’s good to ask and be as open and diplomatic as possible. If you feel the situation starting to escalate try to just reiterate your commitment and excitement about the relationship. That way you don’t let fear or insecurity needlessly escalate the situation.

Handling these conversations can be tough. It’s easy for these honest moments to unearth a lot of baggage. The key is to be honest, open-minded and respectful. If your partner tells you they have opposing political views you wouldn’t immediately break up so why should you do that if you have different views on sex, relationships and boundaries. Sometimes the biggest hurdle to establishing healthy and happy relationships is our own personal idealized version of a relationship. That great person you are spending time with is a full-fledged human being so entertain their individual beliefs, opinions and experiences. If you have a calm conversation you can understand how the other person sees your relationship and how they see you. Now this doesn’t guarantee a marriage proposal or that you will not break up. But it does guarantee that you’re on an even playing field and having a healthy conversation. It also ensures you are entering into a relationship with the healthiest perspective you can.

There is no right or wrong way to date. There are billions of people on the planet and there’s someone out there for everyone. But you can never go wrong with establishing honest conversations with people you sleep with and date. If you are honest and open during this grace period it will help you establish healthy patterns and develop organic intimacy as your authentic self. That’s better than implying monogamy if you’re not ready or dating a few people. It also allows you to see how well you can communicate, empathize, and handle tense conversations. Even if it doesn’t go well you’ve worked on the key skills to a healthy long-term relationship for next time. Once you’ve done that you’re in a better position to make it work or attract your right match.

New Chivalry… Here’s What to Look For

May 4, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Congrats!

I’m a modern girl. I’m independent and I’m single. I have built a career from the ground up, read everyone from C.S. Lewis to Suzanne Collins, can navigate social media with relative ease, and watch New Girl every week like it’s my job.

And? I know I can take care of myself. But hey, call me old-fashioned, too. It’s fine. I can appreciate aspects of feminism, but I prefer gender roles. I like when a guy volunteers to kill a massive spider without complaint, or lift a heavy box in my stead.

I find chivalry to be a gorgeous thing.

Most women I know are a little like that. We love our modern independence in life and in love, but deep down, we want guys to treat us like ladies. As most women will attest, it’s become increasingly rare. Gentlemanly behavior sets our hearts aflutter. We want to see it, and many of us are waiting on it.

I want a guy to court me a bit. In fact, I’m sort of holding out for that. Someone to sweep me off my feet? No, gosh no. Grand gestures are wholly unnecessary. I just want someone I can count on. I just want him to do little things to make me sure he’s the real deal.

Dating today is tough, and we women always seem to have doubts about the guys that roll into our lives. Does he like me? Are his motives genuine? Can I trust him completely? Guessing means you usually can’t, and confusion isn’t a good thing.

Most women would like to erase that. So if he puts in the time and does the little things, it’s like a screening process for us. He’s more likely to be into us as human beings, not hookups. He’s more likely to be Mr. Right when we’re over dealing with all those Mr. Wrongs. That’s why chivalry is as important now as it ever was.

Here’s to all the women who are looking for that chivalrous, good-hearted guy. He’s out there. These are the things he does to make us swoon. (And to all those chivalrous, good-hearted guys, keep doing what you’re doing. We love you for it.)

1. He holds the door for you.

The other day, I was headed inside a building when a dark-haired guy with glasses noticed me a few steps away from the door. He waited for me to catch up, then held the door open and stepped aside, allowing me to head in first. I don’t see this much anymore, living in a liberal area with a younger populace.

And yeah, I swooned. I slowed down, looked him in the eye and thanked him. In actuality, I wanted to shake his hand or give him a bear hug or something for being so darn chivalrous(don’t worry, I didn’t). Note: I have the same reaction to pulling out chairs and lifting heavy objects.

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Dating Disabled …What We Have Wrong

May 4, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

We need to stop believing that people with disabilities can’t do these things.

In the age of interracial, transgender, and trans-generational dating, why is it still so easy to get a little freaked when you find yourself attracted to someone with a physical disability?

The answer lies with the many false assumptions and negative stereotypes about people in wheelchairs that continue to be prevalent in our society. On top of that, we also are frequently not portrayed in the media as sexy and desirable. Unfortunately, this misinformation may be preventing you from having the most amazing romance. Drawing from my history as a clinical psychologist, whose specialty is counseling people with disabilities on the topic of dating, sexuality and romance, as well as pulling from my own exploits as a single Manhattanite on the dating scene, I am going to debunk the five most common myths that are current today.

Myth 1:

If you date someone in a wheelchair, you won’t have a fulfilling sex life, if you can have sex together at all.

Fact:

This is probably the most common myth out there, and it is 110 percent false. If you have a body and a brain, then you can have great sex. Through the media, we are often fed the image of how sex is “supposed” to look, and that image involves people with perfect bodies engaged in rigorous porno-style sex. This is very damaging for everyone, disabled or not. Creative thinking, imagination and good communication are actually the key ingredients of having a completely satisfying sex life, and these are possible for everyone.

Myth 2:

The date will be very awkward, and I will do or say something stupid or offensive.

Fact:

This myth stems from the fact that many able-bodied people still view people with disabilities as essentially different from them. Not only are one in every five Americans affected by some sort of disability, but we also need to keep in mind that everyone has issues. For some, the issues are very visible; for others, the struggles are more internal. Having a disability is like dealing with any other curve ball that life throws our way. With these facts in mind, you will see how “normal” living with a disability can be, and that your date is just like any other.

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Why it’s Not OK to Snoop Through Your Partner’s Phone

May 12, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Girls, girls, girls. Trust me – snooping through your BF’s text messages is not okay!

A while ago, I wrote a post about why you shouldn’t look through your boyfriend’s phone based on my own snooping experiences (something I’m still embarrassed about). It’s been over a year since that post went up, but it still gets tons of comments from girls who say that looking through your boyfriend’s phone is totally okay – in fact, they encourage it.

Girls, girls, girls. Trust me – snooping through your BF’s text messages is not okay! Honestly, I don’t care what kind of explanations you give me, there is really no excuse for going through a phone that isn’t yours. Please, please, cut this behavior out and read the reasons why it’s a terrible idea. I think, eventually, you’ll realize that you need to stop doing it for good… and your relationships will only improve after that.

It Totally Betrays His Trust

Probably the biggest reason to not snoop through your BF’s phone is that it totally and completely betrays his trust. If your boyfriend leaves his phone around you when he’s not in the room, he obviously trusts you to be near his phone without getting sneaky. Trust is one of the most important qualities to have in a relationship. Going through his phone is rude and disrespectful. Which brings me to my next point…

You Wouldn’t Like It If He Did It To You

How would you feel if you found out your boyfriend was secretly looking through your phone, reading all of your private text messages and checking up on your phone history? You’d probably feel pretty violated, annoyed and hurt. I once had an ex look through my texts when we first started dating. When he told me he did, I was so hurt by his accusations that I was doing something I shouldn’t that I almost ended things. Treat others how you want to be treated, you know?

It’s Way Too Easy To Misinterpret Things

Text messages can be really hard to interpret because you’re just looking at words – you’re not seeing the person’s expression or hearing their voice. What you read could mean something totally different than it sounds. Also, you don’t know the context of every conversation because it’s not YOUR conversation. You don’t know if something is an inside joke or about something completely different than what you think. It’s way too easy to misinterpret things and freak out for no reason at all.

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Is Sharing Secret Passwords a Sign of Trust?

May 13, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

The New York Times reports today on the naughtiest thing that teenagers in love are doing behind closed doors: swapping passwords for their Facebook and email accounts.

It has become fashionable for young people to express their affection for each other by sharing their passwords to e-mail, Facebook and other accounts. Boyfriends and girlfriends sometimes even create identical passwords, and let each other read their private e-mails and texts.

They say they know such digital entanglements are risky, because a souring relationship can lead to people using online secrets against each other. But that, they say, is part of what makes the symbolism of the shared password so powerful.

“It’s a sign of trust,” Tiffany Carandang, a high school senior in San Francisco, said of the decision she and her boyfriend made several months ago to share passwords for e-mail and Facebook. “I have nothing to hide from him, and he has nothing to hide from me.”

In a recent study, Pew found that 1 in 3 teens surveyed share passwords with a friend, boyfriend or girlfriend. The Times explores some of the obvious downsides to this, including obsessive scouring of a significant other’s account for signs of infidelity and using the access for sabotage when a relationship goes sour. One expert they talked to compared the pressure to exchange passwords to the pressure to have sex. Have fun with the latter, kids, but I urge you to consider digital abstinence. Here’s why…

There is something pure and romantic about the idea of sharing everything, and having no secrets from one another. But it’s romantic the same way that Romeo and Juliet is romantic, in a tragic, horrible, everyone-is-miserable-and-dies-at-the-end kind of way.

Email is one of the few private spaces left in this hyper-sharing age. Sam Biddle at Gizmodo says, “This isn’t about having something to hide—it’s about keeping meaningful boundaries in an era when there are verrrrry few. We all need whatever scraps of privacy we have left, and your email is just that.”

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Men Share These Inner Considerations on What Makes an Ideal Girlfriend

May 16, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

“What makes a gal girlfriend material?”

When it comes to getting a man to settle down with you, we’ve all heard advice like “hold out on sex” or “be unavailable.” But if that worked, nuns, Olympic athletes, and frigid work-a-holics would be like dude catnip. So, clearly, we need to go straight to the source to find out what makes a man wanna call you his girl. We asked a bunch of guys this: “What makes a gal girlfriend material?” Turns out, it isn’t a big ol’ juicy bandokandok. Their real answers might surprise you …

“A keeper is someone you feel at home around. Sex is good and all, but it’s nice when you can feel yourself around them without trying to impress them. Someone who makes me laugh is always a plus, or that we can laugh at the same stuff. Also, it’s nice to feel like I’m not the only thing that’s of interest to her, I like someone who is driven creatively and has their own thing going on. Otherwise, a lady is in danger of smothering and that’s no fun for anyone. A good lady should inspire you to be a better person, and vice versa.” – Robert, 30

“I know she’s girlfriend material when no matter what’s going on, you feel better seeing a text from her, or when she walks into the room.” – Brad, 28

“Hard to say. I think it’s personality and the way she handles herself in different situations. Someone who is high-maintenance, or can’t hang out with my friends is a no-no. So, I guess that would be it — she has to be able to hang out with my friends, but also keep her feminine side intact while doing so. And loyalty is a big thing too. Usually, when she’s hanging out with my friends, I can tell where that loyalty resides.” – Josh, 31

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Approaching Dating as a Scientific Experiment

June 2, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

If you think about it, relationships are just like scientific experiments: sometimes, no matter the outcomes of dates, the end results can be unpredictable.

A friend of mine was recently having relationship issues and I had to spend some time consoling and counseling her (Don’t worry, I’ve received permission to discuss this!). As she railed against fate, she moaned something about her predicament that really struck me—the need to communicate without assumptions and to not be inclined to think that something is obvious.

At this point, I tried to lighten the mood by pointing out that as a scientist, she should never have made such judgments. After all, what is obvious to one person is often not clear to another and people are rarely quickly convinced in the lab even when the evidence is there. By the same token, how many times are you going to test the hypotheses before you accept you are right or wrong? Also, you can’t go back and read other people’s minds the way you can a lab book (depending on how well the lab book is kept).

This thankfully brought a smile to her face and like a good collaborator, she threw some challenges towards my argument—are relationships then just a series of hypothesis tests?

ARE THEY EVER!!! Just think about it—dating can be considered a series of experiments with different subjects!

Relationships: the ultimate experiment

It even fits the classical written scientific report format with defined sections on the introduction, materials and methods, results, and discussion. My friend was skeptical. All I could do was show her the evidence (like a good scientist), and hope she came to the same conclusions.

1. Introduction

Well, this section is pretty obvious as this is probably when you meet—introduction, get it?!?! Hahaha! Okay I’ll slink back into my cave now. But really, this is when you also assess the relevant history and concepts so that everyone can understand the current situation. And like a scientific report, this is when you’re supposed to engage the subject of your experiment … I mean, date. *Cough*.

In the way that a good introduction to a paper is meant to be selective, not exhaustive, it’s the same for your date. They don’t need to know (yet) all the nitty-gritty of your history until they decide to become an expert in the field, i.e. you.

And remember to figure out the aims and hypothesis—to find out whether this person is the one! You don’t want to get to the end and realize your study has been for naught.

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Attract the Right Person for You

June 6, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE

If I told you that I had the secret for finding your soul mate, your dream guy, your Ryan Gosling, would you give it a try?

Using crystals is a way to place good vibes out into the universe and attract the type of partner you find attractive. You can keep them in your purse, on your bedside table, or on your desk so their magnetic energy is always on hand.

Here are some crystal cocktails to enchant different types of guys. They have potent attraction energy behind them, so be careful what you wish for, crystal lovers…

The Creative

Want an über-inspired, creatively charged crystal to hook, line, and sinker yourself a creative soul mate? Then you need one or all of these:

Carnelian helps you connect to your creative side by revitalizing your body, mind, and soul and heightening your joyful energy and motivation. You’ll feel inspired, and he’ll be inspired to spend more time around you.

Labradorite is a stone that supports your visions, dreams, and goals, helping you visualize your future creative partner.

Crystal cocktail poured, shaken, and served for one creative!

The Romantic

Hopelessly addicted to all things The Notebook and Dirty Dancing? Well, your Prince Charming is out there, and he’s probably looking for you right now. Help him connect with your romantic vibrations by keeping these Cupid crystals on hand:

Consider rose quartz the mack daddy of romantic crystals—it connects with all things heart.

Amber stones bring a sense of calm, purity, and romance.

Aventurine—the ladies’ luck rock—is just what you need to manifest some good fortune in the love department.

The Yogi

Seeking an asana soul brother? If you haven’t come across any boyfriend material at your local yoga studio yet, here’s a yogi-inspired crystal cocktail to connect to your chakras…and his:

Malachite will help you connect to his love of transformation, energy, and balance.

Celestite is a calming, gentle, positive stone that promotes harmony, alignment, and connection to the angelic realm.

Clear quartz helps to clean up your energy and aura so your newfound yogi can have an unobstructed view of your positive soul.

Namaste, brother!

The Hipster

You seek a stylish guy who loves all things beards, man buns, and plaids. Crystals that energetically vibe with the hipster guy include:

Moonstone taps into his sensitive, intuitive, New Agey side.

The perfect crystal for daydreamers, fluorite opens up your energy to clear unbiased reasoning and help focus the mind.

The Jock

Want a bro? A simple, sporty, straight-up man? Here are some crystal recipe options to find him:

Agate is connected with all things strength and bravery.

Tiger’s-eye is the crystal of confidence, courage, and protection.

High-five, bro!

The Businessman

Attracted to the successful, driven, passionate, hardworking type? These crystals can help you catch the busy businessman’s attention:

Selenite can inspire clarity of mind and concentration, and it can promote stimulating conversation while supporting your nerves.

Jade is the stone of good luck, good fortune, and abundance.

Citrine is all about focus and discipline. Heck, it’s even nicknamed the successful stone.

The Prankster

Have a soft spot for the class clown? Is a solid sense of humor one of your prerequisites for a soul mate? You don’t have to set up a crystal trail between the local comedy club and your front door. Instead, just keep these lighthearted crystals with you to help your heart connect to someone playful:

As the sunstone‘s name suggests, it’s full of good vibes and will leave you feeling uplifted and positive, ready to tackle a prankster’s wit.

Rose quartz is packed with joyous, fun-loving vibes.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Relationship Types You Can Find Yourself In

June 6, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

Before you find “the one,” you’ll date a bunch of other ones. Only the truly lucky find a great relationship—built on compatibility, mutual respect, and sexual attraction—early on.

Most of us have to have all the other types of relationships, to understand what a functional relationship should look like.

Here are 14 types of relationships you will almost certainly have before you find long-term happiness.

CODEPENDENT

In this relationship, you or your partner (or both of you) cannot function without the other person. You feel anxiety and depression when you’re not around one another. Other areas of your life suffer. You’ll often do out of the ordinary things to keep this person’s love—like cancel a trip you planned years ago with friends, to stay with this person, or give up a great job to have more time with your partner.

INDEPENDENT

You’re a “power couple.” Or at least, you think you are. What you really are is this: two people who do not know how or are not willing to compromise and sacrifice for the relationship. You always put yourself ahead of your partner, and visa versa. You’re both highly focused on your careers, or your own separate social lives. You essentially just meet up when it’s convenient for both of you. But love is not a priority.

DOMINATING

At one point, unfortunately, you’ll date someone who controls you. He will set all the rules for the relationship, and you will follow them. Something about this person makes you spineless. You don’t even see how ridiculous his rules are, such as a rule that you not go out with friends without him, or that you stop talking to your male friends, or that all holidays are spent with his family instead of yours. You’ll be under a spell that will be clear to your friends, but for some reason not to you. And you’ll feel great anxiety around ever speaking your mind or demanding something from this person.

REBOUND

You, and possibly the other person involved in this relationship, have just gone through breakups and need love to cover up the pain. This relationship almost never works out because it is built on the fear of facing the reality of your recent breakup, rather than focusing on this new person and whether or not they are compatible for you. So it is fragile.

OPEN

We all get a little new age at some point and give this relationship a try. In this relationship, the two individuals are emotionally committed to one another, but are both free to sleep with other people. This type of relationship mostly only works when both parties aren’t that emotionally invested in one another. And for this reason, it usually ends anyways.

WORKING HARD

You really want love, you meet someone who really wants love, and so you’re willing to make a lot of changes for it. You change the way you talk, dress, think and socialize for him. He does the same for you. You actually have zero interest in one another’s passions and hobbies, but you attend all related event and feign interest. You look happy to the outside world, but it’s actually the most exhausting relationship you’ve ever been in.

TOXIC

Okay, the previous relationship is the second most exhausting relationship you’ll ever be in. This is the one that will leave you feeling emotionally, mentally and physically immobile. The toxic relationship is one in which you and your partner have an extreme attraction to one another, but have such drastically different morals, opinions, or integrity that all you do is fight. You bring out the worst in each other. But you can’t stay away from each other. You’re always on edge in this relationship. It’s like being on a drug: the highs are very high, but the lows leave you incapacitated.

TEMPORARY

It’s fun for now, but you wouldn’t make plans for the future. You couldn’t claim anything is wrong with the guy. You enjoy having sex with him and spending time with him. But that real umph isn’t there—that can’t live without him sensation. But it’s easy, and it’s a good distraction for a while.

BASICALLY FRIENDS

Everything is great except one thing: you and him do not feel like having sex with one another. It feels like kissing your cousin. You can have a fun day, connect on many levels, but when it comes to the bedroom, your blood runs cold.

PURELY SEXUAL

You’ll also have the opposite to the basically friends relationship: the purely sexual one. When you call or text one another, it’s almost always to spend time immediately. You’re mostly in the bedroom together. You have great sexual chemistry, and for some reason never feel compelled to explore your chemistry in other areas.

PRIZE POSSESSION

At one point you will date a rich or insanely handsome man, because you’re just intrigued by what life is like with that guy on your arm. You’ve seen gold diggers who seem happy with filthy rich gentlemen, or your giddy friend who is always with a model. So you give it a go. If you’re an emotionally sound person, you typically can’t carry this one on for long. You crave a real connection.

GOOD ON PAPER

You’ll date one guy because you should. Everybody—your friends, your family, complete strangers—think this guy is perfect. He’s handsome, he has a great job, he has a good sense of humor, he is kind, he is totally marriage and father material and he treats you like a queen. But again, the umph factor is missing. He doesn’t excite you. You can have great conversations, but a certain inexplicable connection just isn’t happening.

LONG DISTANCE

During one of your romantic phases, you’ll try out a long distance relationship. You’ll tell yourself yours will be the one to work out. And you’ll love going to visit him—it will feel like a vacation every time. But eventually, you’ll realize you don’t want to move to him, he doesn’t want to move to you, flights are getting expensive and you’re tired of missing out on what’s going on with your friends back at home.

EMOTIONAL AFFAIR

You probably will not realize it the first time you get into one of these, so we’ll give you a freebee. But at one point, you will develop an intimate, emotional connection with a man who is already in a committed relationship, or when you yourself are in a committed relationship. Nothing physical ever happens, but you share secrets with this person, you get anxious when you’re going to see him, and if you think about it, your or his partner wouldn’t really approve of it.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The Things You Undervalue About Dating

June 9, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

Cuddling, sharing, and happiness! These are just some of the things we can enjoy about dating someone.

1. By default, you always have someone to do things with.

2. And you can communicate using special eye-code when other people are around.

3. You get honest (read: invested) fashion advice.

4. And like, you finally have someone to make your choreographed dreams come true.

5. Sofa time is accompanied by hi-tech foot-warming technology.

6. There’s also the sweet, sweet relief of a simple hand-holding sesh.

7. You see a SIGNIFICANT improvement in meals…

And finally someone will appreciate your smooth moves in the kitchen.

8. …and twice the manpower for cleaning up (and other boring chores)!

9. Let’s not forget: Joint. Streaming. Accounts.

Guilty pleasures are best shared!

10. In fact, sharing things in general…

11. …and saving $$$ as a result!

(AKA money left over to do even more things together!)

12. Your knowledge improves from adopting their smarts and interests…

13. …and so does your hygiene.

14. Let’s not forget the comfort of sleeping with your S.O.’s shirt while they’re away.

Bonus points if you have a pet — you get all their attention too!

15. Just having someone special to hug and hold is awesome…

…and best of all, even staycations in your sweatpants can be considered sexy.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Picking Up the Bill on a Date

June 15, 2016January 22, 2024 by zfortadminin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

A confession to the men I’ve dated: If I ever insisted on paying my half at the end of a first date when you offered to treat, it may have been because I never wanted to see you again.

My persistence to pay was—at best—code for, “Let’s just be friends.” At worst, “Beat it.”

We all carry assumptions surrounding that first date bill and how it ought to be settled. When those expectations aren’t met, the evening could end awkwardly. She might be offended if he doesn’t let her pay; he might be annoyed if she doesn’t at least offer to chip in.

It’s an early stage financial crossroads that could make or break chances for a second date.

So, when in doubt, how should men and women best handle that first date tab? And was I right to offer to split the bill if I didn’t like the guy?

I tapped relationship experts Marni Battista, founder of DatingWithDignity.com and Bernardo Mendez of Your Great Life TV for some guidelines.

Men: Offer to take the lead.

Battista and Mendez both agree that it’s generally best for men to pay on a first date. Yes, even still in 2014—a time in which, as I myself have written, women often outearn men.

But the fact of the matter is that men typically want to pay: In a poll last year conducted by LearnVest and T.D. Ameritrade, 55% of men said they thought the guy should take the check. As Mendez explains, many men feel fulfilled and accomplished when they see an opportunity to provide, even if it’s in simple ways like paying for a drink.

Perhaps more importantly, paying is a way for him to preen. “Even a guy who doesn’t make much money if he really likes you will try to impress you to the utmost that he can,” says Battista

As for women? “In my experience, 90% will be offended if a guy doesn’t offer to pay,” says Battista.

The data seems to support her claim, at least to some extent. That LearnVest poll found that 63% of women expect the guy to pay. And when researchers at Chapman University recently surveyed more than 17,000 people on the topic of first-date finances, they found that 39% of women who offered to pay said they secretly hoped the men would not let them. Meanwhile, 44% of women said they were annoyed when expected to help pay the bill.

So guys, pick up the check. It’s just a first date dance move that—more often than not—leaves each person happy and satisfied.

The exception: If she asks him out and picks the place, the experts say, she ought be prepared to settle the bill.

Pages: 1 2

The way you use an exclamation point can change your dating life.

1. PERIOD.

2. EXCLAMATION POINT!

” You have to make the guy think he’s making the first move when you’re the one really doing it…”

The rules, which are pretty standard and obvious, sound something like this:

“Jen,” she says, ” You have to make the guy think he’s making the first move when you’re the one really doing it…”

May-December romances are frequently misunderstood. When you’re dating someone older, people might assume that the dynamic of the relationship is unhealthy or fundamentally unequal.

Here are five tips for dating someone older than you.

1. Ignore the haters.

Whether you’re hazy about commitment, new to a relationship, or playing the field it’s best to approach this grace period with honesty and mutual respect.

Congrats!

I find chivalry to be a gorgeous thing.

1. He holds the door for you.

We need to stop believing that people with disabilities can’t do these things.

Myth 1:

Fact:

Myth 2:

Fact:

Girls, girls, girls. Trust me – snooping through your BF’s text messages is not okay!

It Totally Betrays His Trust

You Wouldn’t Like It If He Did It To You

It’s Way Too Easy To Misinterpret Things

The New York Times reports today on the naughtiest thing that teenagers in love are doing behind closed doors: swapping passwords for their Facebook and email accounts.

“What makes a gal girlfriend material?”

If you think about it, relationships are just like scientific experiments: sometimes, no matter the outcomes of dates, the end results can be unpredictable.

Relationships: the ultimate experiment

1. Introduction

If I told you that I had the secret for finding your soul mate, your dream guy, your Ryan Gosling, would you give it a try?

The Creative

The Romantic

The Yogi

The Hipster

The Jock

The Businessman

The Prankster

Before you find “the one,” you’ll date a bunch of other ones. Only the truly lucky find a great relationship—built on compatibility, mutual respect, and sexual attraction—early on.

CODEPENDENT

INDEPENDENT

DOMINATING

REBOUND

OPEN

WORKING HARD

TOXIC

TEMPORARY

BASICALLY FRIENDS

PURELY SEXUAL

PRIZE POSSESSION

GOOD ON PAPER

LONG DISTANCE

EMOTIONAL AFFAIR

Cuddling, sharing, and happiness! These are just some of the things we can enjoy about dating someone.

1. By default, you always have someone to do things with.

2. And you can communicate using special eye-code when other people are around.

3. You get honest (read: invested) fashion advice.

4. And like, you finally have someone to make your choreographed dreams come true.

5. Sofa time is accompanied by hi-tech foot-warming technology.

6. There’s also the sweet, sweet relief of a simple hand-holding sesh.

7. You see a SIGNIFICANT improvement in meals…

8. …and twice the manpower for cleaning up (and other boring chores)!

9. Let’s not forget: Joint. Streaming. Accounts.

10. In fact, sharing things in general…

11. …and saving $$$ as a result!

12. Your knowledge improves from adopting their smarts and interests…

13. …and so does your hygiene.

14. Let’s not forget the comfort of sleeping with your S.O.’s shirt while they’re away.

15. Just having someone special to hug and hold is awesome…

…and best of all, even staycations in your sweatpants can be considered sexy.

The life of the party. A social butterfly. Always on the go. If these expressions describe your partner, then you are dating an extrovert.

1. Be prepared for lots of activity and plenty of company.

2. Be attentive to your reactions to your partner’s social nature.

3. You may need to create the opportunity for a deeper connection.

A confession to the men I’ve dated: If I ever insisted on paying my half at the end of a first date when you offered to treat, it may have been because I never wanted to see you again.

Men: Offer to take the lead.