7 Reasons To Have More Sex (as proved by Science)
Have more sex… because science told you to!
- Sex is Relaxing
- Sex is Exercise
- Sex Makes you Smarter
- Sex Makes you Stronger
- Sex Keeps you Healthy
- Sex Makes you Snuggly
- Sex Keeps your Heart Strong
Author: zfortadmin
Bliss it up!: May’s #SexyResolution
Maximize Bliss and feel the amazing feeling of being together, of being in a relationship, of being in love.
The Most Popular Places to Masturbate
May is National Masturbation Month, where are you pleasuring yourself?
9 Things To Know About Masturbation, Because May Is National Masturbation Month And It’s Time To Celebrate
Masturbation is safest sex you can have. You don’t have to worry about condoms, STIs, awkward sexual mishaps, and you’re always guaranteed to have an orgasm. There’s no denying the fact that the health benefits of masturbation, which are both physical and mental, including increased self-esteem, reduced stress, and it even aids in relieving those awful cramps you get during your period. It’s those who know how to satisfy themselves who have an overall sense of well being, a positive body image, and because they know their body and what makes them happy, they have some of the best sex lives out there. Basically, you want to masturbate and want to do it a lot.
Sex toy company, We-Vibe, has just released their first annual We-Vibe Masturbation Report. The report researched men and women across the United States, ages 20 to 70, of all relationship statuses, to see just how people feel about masturbation, who’s doing it, how often, where, and of course, what they’re using to get themselves off. Of the 600 respondents, the overall consensus is that masturbation definitely isn’t as taboo as it used to be. Finally, people are catching on to just how important it is and just how fun it is, too.
Here are nine things to know about masturbation in honor of National Masturbation Month, thanks to We-Vibe’s report.
1. People Are Talking About Masturbation More Than Ever
Eighty-five percent of the respondents said they were comfortable more than ever before to talk about masturbation thanks to things like TV and movies that are making the subject less taboo. In fact, 69 percent have talked about masturbation with their friends, and 32 percent had done so a lot; 63 percent had only discussed it a few times.
At 34 percent versus 29 percent, men are still more comfortable than women when it comes to talking about masturbation.
2. Millennials Are The Most Comfortable With The Masturbation Topic
Although this shouldn’t be totally surprising, it’s nice to know that Millennials are far more open to masturbation than generations past with 85 percent having talked about it with their friends. Only 65 percent of those of the Gen-X age group (that group right before the Millennials) had indulged in masturbation chatter with their buddies.
3. Most People Start Masturbating In Their Teens
According to the research, 45 percent had started touching themselves for the first time between ages 13 to 19. Ah, to be young and discover the power of your clitoris for the first time!
However, 20 percent of women said they didn’t start exploring that part of their bodies until they were in the 20s… all those lost years of orgasms.
4. The Majority Of People Masturbate When They’re Horny
Although 38 percent masturbate to reduce any stress or anxiety they might be feeling, and 26 percent do so out of the boredom, at 87 percent, most masturbate when they’re feeling, well, sexy.
But no matter the reason for masturbating, 76 percent felt satisfied after doing so, 59 percent felt less stressed, and, one to five percent, a very minimal amount, felt shame or lonely because of it.
5. People Are Masturbating In Their Car
While 80 percent prefer their bedroom for their self-love moments, 20 percent of men and 19 percent of women admitted to having masturbated in their car at some point. And, interestingly enough, of those masturbating in their car, 35 percent were from the Midwest.
As for the rest of the country, eight percent of the East Coast respondents masturbate in the kitchen (because food, obviously), 25 percent of Southerners prefer the shower, and back to those Midwesterners, 41 percent masturbate in the bathroom… because easy clean up? On the West Coast, the couch is a happening masturbation spot for 19 percent.
Click Next Page to see the next 3 places to Masturbate
Why its Important for Busy Moms to Fit in Sex & How
This Mother’s Day are you taking care of all your needs?
Countless studies and surveys show that moms are chronically overworked and under-appreciated, in and out of the bedroom! As a wife, one of the hardest things to do is to fess up that you’d rather sleep or read a good book than have sex.
Most moms have been there: You have those loving moments throughout the day where you think of your man and that maybe after the kids are in bed tonight, you’ll put on that slinky little nightie you’ve had in the dresser and surprise him.
But between the time you have that thought and you’re both settled at home by the end of the day, a hundred things have happened, along with a hundred mood shifts, and you’re tapped out long before the kids’ bedtime even rolls around.
Mothers are natural caregivers who often make the mistake of forgetting to give to themselves and their relationships, too. But a happy mom makes for a happier relationship and family—and having enough sex is a large part of having a fulfilled sense of self. So here’s how you can have more sex as a busy mom (and three reasons why you should make it a priority).
3 Ways to Fit in Sex on the next page…
8 Facts About The Female Orgasm Everyone Should Know
The Female Orgasm is not as mysterious as we once thought….
Ah yes, the female orgasm. What a mysterious and wonderful gift from Mother Nature to women everywhere.
A new video from Wired explains the ins and outs of the female orgasm and how women reach climax both physically and chemically. Unlike the male orgasm that’s “an explosive affair,” as the video states, women’s orgasms work behind closed doors leaving us many times in the dark about what’s actually happening during climax.
To help out with this confusion, here are eight facts about the female orgasm:
1. The clitoris has a whole lot of nerve endings — approximately 8,000 give or take.
2. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. (It takes work, people.)
3. Some women can even orgasm just from kissing. Kissing is basically magic.
4. A woman’s pain threshold can increase up to 107 percent during climax.
More Mysteries of the Female Orgasm unveiled on the next page…
How to Become a Tantrika
By extending and expanding the body’s capacity for pleasure, we celebrate the sacred in others and ourselves. Erotic feeling is a vehicle for exploring ecstatic states and deepening intimacy. Tantra invites us to transform sexual experience by seeing ourselves and our partners differently – releasing cynicism and judgment, and honouring the spirit within.
Curated by Erbe
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5 Courtship Rules Modern Daters Can Use
Do you know the difference between Courting and Dating?
Courtship isn’t only for the conservative set. Here are 5 rules all daters can use.
Tired of dating? Have you considered courtship? It’s difficult to define, but the essential difference between courting and dating lies in their purposes: people date for various reasons, but people court only under assumption that they will marry. And despite its old-fashioned connotations, courting is still widely practiced today, especially in religious circles. But even if you’re not religious, courtship guidelines can offer solid advice to the modern daters among us. Check out five guidelines below and find out how they can apply to your dating life, whether or not you’re in for a full-court press…
1. You only court one person at a time. There’s no “shopping around” once you start courting. The “what are we” talk may even occur date number one. This initial commitment is meant to provide the freedom to love each other fully without being afraid that the other person will start considering other partners. Of course, this doesn’t mean all courtships end in marriage, as reality dictates that some things simply aren’t meant to be. It just means that people enter into courtships for the purpose of a serious, future-focused relationship.
Apply this: Be honest and direct about your intentions when you start dating someone. Looking for a rebound? Say so. Want a long-term relationship? Make that clear. Likewise, be honest with yourself. If you want to settle down, don’t feel uncomfortable passing on a man who’s sweet and charming but a total commitment-phobe.
2. The man pursues the woman. While this practice varies from community to community, most groups that favor courtship also favor a more traditional method of wooing. The man initiates the friendship, the “talk,” and even approaches his and the woman’s parents for their blessing. Think The Kite Runner.
Apply this: If you’re a woman eager to let the man take the lead, by all means, let him! For those who prefer an equal-opportunity approach to dating, well… try letting him pay now and then, or at least hold the door for you without being deeply offended. Many men like to feel they’re leading the way, even if you know you secretly have the upper-hand.
3. Family and community are central. Courtships are always conducted publicly, and with the approval of both parties’ parents. Oftentimes, the man will ask the woman’s father for his approval before the courtship officially begins. In more conservative circles, pastors and parents act as matchmakers. The goal is for the family to help the man and woman stay accountable for their level of commitment to each other. So, Mom and Dad are allowed to counsel their son if they feel he is compromising the woman in any way.
Apply this: Sometimes your mother does actually know what’s good for you. Don’t dismiss advice from your elders. Relationships haven’t changed all that much in the past few decades.
Oral Sex Road Test: Does Pineapple Juice Make You Taste Better In Bed?
Here’s a sexy taste test that leave you and your partner feeling ecstasy!
Pineapple juice? Celery? One couple takes the ultimate taste test in the bedroom.
I love my boyfriend. And I love giving him blow jobs. What I do not love is the taste of spunk. No matter whose semen it is, it tastes like a cross between sour juice, bitters, mold, and a dirty sock. Even Bobby Flay couldn’t make this milky concoction taste good. I’ve hypothesized women who say it tastes good are either a) lying or b) have tastebuds damaged by years of smoking. But I don’t smoke … and like Abe Lincoln, I cannot tell a lie. I love a nice pearl necklace, but the taste of semen makes me gag.
Maybe it’s nature’s way of saying put that sperm in your vagina, but I couldn’t care less. I am dedicated to being a good girlfriend. I wanted to enjoy his man chowder. I wanted to relish it with the same fervor I do a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Heath Bar Crunch. Intrepid scientist that I am, I wanted to know how to make it taste better.
I had often heard that different food and drink could improve or worsen the taste of semen but the scientific research on it is almost nonexistent. Shrouded in mystery and hearsay many of the methods have few tales of firsthand accounts. So with my boyfriend’s very enthusiastic approval we decided to give it a whirl in a four-part experiment that included pineapple juice, celery, meat (to see if it makes it taste worse and therefore should be avoided) and Masque Flavor Strips, which claim to mask the taste of semen.
To be fair (and in the interest of improving people’s lives everywhere) we decided I should partake in the experiment as well. Although my boyfriend, (we’ll call him M), thinks I taste and smell like daisies and peaches, he’s experienced many a lady who was a little funky below the belt (he chalked it up to bad hygiene). He was skeptical that changing my diet would make any difference given that vaginal lubrication isn’t exactly liquid. But in altering my diet we were hoping to at least find out.
Men and women of the world, you’re welcome.
1. Pineapple Juice
Since what seems like the invention of the juicer, the wonders of pineapple juice have been lauded for their semen-sweetening abilities. And after my first sip I can see why; it’s like drinking a glass of sugar water. So sweet is the bright yellow-orange juice I feel like I might instantly go into diabetic shock. And I’m not even diabetic. M, for his part isn’t as grossed out at first, but after three days emphatically tells me he can’t possibly drink another glass of pineapple juice without hurling.
We had our first tasting while on a southwest road trip. It was a warm summer day, the scenery was beautiful, and I felt inspired to make the drive a little more exciting. So while M was driving, I unzipped his pants and went to work. Maybe it was the wind blowing in our hair or the bubbling sounds of the river next to us, but M came faster than he ever had. Swishing him around my mouth, I realized it actually did taste significantly sweeter. Not coconut crème brûlée sweet, but sweet enough to neutralize any harsh flavors. Gone was the bitter, sour, taste and its place was a neutral lightly sugary taste that was much more palatable than the original. To M’s delight, I let out an enthusiastic “mmmmm!” I was surprised and excited; maybe I could start to swallow without gagging!
When we finally got to our destination, M quickly threw me on my back and went to work downstairs. Fortunately for me he had nothing to report. I still tasted and smelled exactly the same. Given how foul pineapple juice is, the last thing I needed was for him to get addicted to my pineapple-infused method regions.
2. Celery
After doing some research, I begin to suspect M has tricked me. Celery is known more for increasing liquid volume not changing flavor. Perhaps he’s just looking forward to giving me a larger pearl necklace? According to connoisseur of all things sex-related, Motley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee in his book Tommyland asked porn star Peter North how he “sandblasts every single girl in his scenes with a gallon of man juice.” To which North told him to eat a bunch of celery the day before.
When I confront him, M insists he was not trying to fool me and that he really heard celery makes semen taste good. So we proceed as planned. Perhaps the celery would even produce the elusive female jizz. In case you’re wondering, a bunch of celery is a lot. At 6’3, M can eat all day long and had no problem incorporating the celery into his diet (though by day three even he’s sick of it). At 5’1, I have the metabolism and appetite of a small bird. Eating that much celery causes me to eliminate things I actually enjoy eating. For example, instead of my normal scrambled eggs for breakfast I am now eating celery with peanut butter. Snack time, I skip mixed nuts for celery with ranch.
Three days later, stuffed to the gills with celery, we take turns going down on each other while watching a basketball game on my sofa. I brace myself waiting for a geyser of semen to shoot out at me. Instead all I got was the normal load. I suppose if I had been trying to get pregnant I’d be disappointed, but seeing as I wasn’t I was thrilled to not have to swallow any extra. Flavorwise, the semen sample was better tasting than normal (as in not bitter or salty) but not as good as the sweeter pineapple-infused version.
As for me, M, (as he predicted), couldn’t tell the difference even after a good 20 minutes of oral.
16 Hot Facts about Sex
16 Naughty Facts about Sex
- You can Burn about 200 calories during 30 minutes of active sex.
- The Average penis size is 3.5 to 3.7 inches when flaccid and between 5.0 to 5.7 inches when erect.
- These days, the Greeks have more sex than any other nationality.
- There are roughly 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.
- In 2005, a couple broke the world record for the longest unbroken kiss. They did it for an exhausting 31 hours, 30 minutes and 30 seconds.
- 25% of couples over 75 are still sexually active.
- Besides humans, Bonobo Chimps and Dolphins are the only animals that have sex for pleasure.
- Telling a convincing lie to someone is much more difficult when you find them sexually attractive.
- What do humans, fish, and porpoises have in common? They all have oral sex.
- Under half of men think their penis is too small, whereas 85% of women are very satisfied with their partner’s penis size.
- The average amount of time spent kissing for a person in a lifetime is 20,160 minutes. That’s 336 hours, 14 days or 2 weeks.
- Your average healthy man produces approximately 300 million sperm in just a teaspoon of his semen. However, it only takes one little swimmer to fertilize a woman’s egg.
- In 2003, a pair of male penguins in the central park zoo, who had been a ‘couple’ for years, raised a baby penguin together.
- Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour.
- The black widow spider eats her mate during or after sex. Worse still, the horny eight-legger can consume as many as 20 lovers in a single day.
- A single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information. One ejaculation represents a data transfer of 15,875 GB, equivalent to the combined capacity of 62 Macbook Pro laptops.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
8 Simple, Powerful Ways To Create New, Better Intimacy In A Long-Term Relationship
These simple ways can change your relationship!
Being in a committed, long-term relationship is awesome for many reasons: You love someone who loves you back, you have absolute trust in that person, you don’t have to deal with the craziness and anxiety of dating, you have someone great to come home to everyday, you feel completely comfortable with that person—the list goes on and on. But being in an long-term relationship can also be really, really hard. When you’re with someone for the long-haul, it can be all too easy to take that person for granted, to assume that you both know everything about each other, that you both know how the other person is feeling, that your relationship will continue to work as long as it stays the same. People who have been with the same partner for a long time know that this kind of thinking can be a recipe for disaster: When we stop taking the time to nurture our relationships, regardless of how stable they might seem, distance can grow, small resentments can fester, and before we know it, all that intimacy that we used to have has evaporated.
I know from experience that maintaining an LTR is never easy. But I firmly believe that keeping, and increasing, your sense of intimacy with your long-term partner doesn’t have to be complicated. What it really takes is a commitment on both partners’ parts to spend time and effort nurturing the relationship. Read on for eight simple ways to deepen your connection.
1. Go on real dates
When you’re in a long-term relationship or married, it’s important to set aside time to spend together as a couple. The dates you set up with your S.O. or spouse can take whatever form you like—a fancy dinner out, a yummy meal cooked at home, a long walk around the park—but the important thing is that you clearly delineate that time from the rest of your daily life. Setting up real dates, even when they’re very simple, is an important act in itself because it implicitly states that you and your S.O. feel like nurturing your relationship is a priority.
2. Do this 36 Question thing
Back in January, the New York Times “Modern Love” column make waves when it ran an article by Mandy Len Catron titled, “To Fall In Love Do This.” The article explores the work of a study by Dr. Arthur Aron, which proposes that two strangers can fall in love by asking each other 36 questions, followed by a long, silent stare into each other’s eyes.
I tried this out with my husband, and it ended up being surprisingly cool. It didn’t necessarily make us fall in love all over again, but it did get us to have a real conversation about our hopes and fears, all while making dinner on a random Tuesday night! The end, when we had to look into each other’s eyes for four minutes, was also unexpectedly powerful. Staring that directly at someone can feel strange and exposing, even with a person with whom you’re very close.
If you’re not down with the 36 Questions (or you’ve already done them) challenge each other to come up with your own questions. Mix them up in a hat, pull them out at random, and talk. Look into each other’s eyes without speaking for four minutes at the end. (Then make out because it’s inevitable.)
3. Make something together
Set aside some time for you and your S.O. to make something together. It doesn’t really matter what: You could set aside a Saturday night to cook something labor intensive together. You could paint together, or do origami together. Seriously, it can be anything: Once my husband and I spent an evening putting together a LEGO set that someone gave us for Christmas, and it was super fun. As you both work on whatever your project is, you’ll find yourself bonding over the shared effort and talking about all sorts of things you might not have expected.
4. Have sex
Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are, of course, not the same. But sex can play an important role in maintaining a long-term couple’s emotional bond, making them feel more connected, more attracted to each other, and generally happier. If you need any more motivation to hit the sheets (but why would you?), sex has also been shown to have all sorts of mental and physical health benefits.
5. Laugh together
Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein writes in Psychology Today that “Laughter is a potent love medicine. It is an intimacy builder for couples.” Laughter can help to relieve the tension in difficult situations, and it can impart a sense of fun to relationships that are feeling staid. Make an effort to bring more laughter in your relationship: watch comedies together, tell each other jokes, and let yourselves be really, really silly.
6. Discuss the State of the Union
Discussing the state of your relationship might not be the most fun thing to do, but it is necessary. Take time here and there to talk seriously with your S.O. about how you’re both feeling and what you want. These discussions are important even if you feel like your relationship is in good shape; you might discover that, when you press the issue, there are underlying tensions just below the surface. Better to deal with these things now, when they’re small irritations, than later, when they bloom into huge problems.
7. Be uncomfortable together
As a couple, make an effort to try new things together, and to allow yourself to be in uncomfortable situations. These situations could be big events like visiting a country where you don’t speak the language, or small instances, like forcing yourselves to sing a duet at a karaoke bar in front of other people. Dealing with the new and unexpected in these situations as a team will bring you closer together in the other parts of your life.
8. Be physically affectionate
Sex is important, but so is simple, non-sexual touching. Studies have shown that physical affection decreases stress, and it’s been associated with lower blood pressure and increased satisfaction in relationships. Like sex, physical affection causes the body to release Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” Oxytocin has a variety of effects; studies have shown that the hormone can make us more likely to be monogamous, more extroverted, and more generous and trustworthy. A study recently published in Natureeven suggests that Oxytocin might be useful in treating mental disorders.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
Women Wish Men Knew these 50 Sex Tips
- Choose your moment; women need to be in the mood for sex.
- Slow and steady often wins the race.
- Shower sex washes away natural lubrication and can get awkward; practice on dry land first.
- Try leaning back whilst thrusting; it’s instantly improve the angle & feeling for her.
- There is no one perfect position. Some women like doggy style, others like missionary. Find out what she likes best.
- Laugh. Bodies make noises so turn any awkwardness into part of the fun,
- Use a condom!
- Explore her body; sensitive areas like her neck, he ear lobes & her inner thighs.
- Communicate. If you want to try something new, tell your partner, don’t be shy.
- Sex is much better on top of the covers NOT under the. Throw that bedcover on the floor. NOW!!!
- Use a pillow to prop up her hips for added stimulation.
- If she says she’s about to come….. don’t stop.
- Eat watermelon – it’s a natural viagra.
- Not every woman wants you to go down on her. Let’s not assume.
- Being naked is nerve-wracking in front of someone you like. Be complimentary.
- Massage the area around her clitoris. The clitoris is incredibly sensitive – pressing it will be uncomfortable. This way you indirectly stimulate her internal clitoris – science y’all!
- Don’t assume she likes doggy style. Ask her first!
Ways to Spark Your Sex Life
When love is new, everything is exciting, including making love. It’s partly why that first few months of married bliss is called the “honeymoon stage”—everything is great, wonderful, and thrilling. However, over time and throughout the years, you may feel a little less energetic about getting intimate with your better half. Here’s how to boost sexual energy.
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Original SOurce
7 Ways to Make Sure Your Partner Never Loses Interest in You
Do you want to ignite that passionate spark back in your relationship?
Often times you hear of married couple slowly drifting apart , then the senseless arguments arise and they stop sleeping sleeping together, next on the list will be divorce.
You wonder what happened to these couples who were once so happy together, the good news is that it never has to be this way in your own case.
Holly Riordan of All Women Stalk lists these 7 ways to make sure couples never lose interest in each other:
1. Be Spontaneous: After you’ve been together for a while, you’ll fall into a certain routine. You’ll see each other on certain days, go to certain restaurants, and hang out with certain #people. While there’s nothing wrong with developing a routine, you have to break it every once in a while. Surprise him with reservations for a restaurant in a different town or buy him tickets for a show in the city. Do whatever you can to keep him on his toes.
2. Keep up appearances: You don’t have to wear #makeup every morning and toss out every pair of sweat-pants you own. However, you should occasionally dress nicely just for him. Buy some lingerie or a new dress that he won’t be able to take his #eyes off of. If you’re with the right #man, he’ll return the favor by buying something for himself to wear that you’ll adore.
3. Never stop learning: This one is essential, not only for your #relationship, but for yourself. If you’ve been with your #man for years, then he’ll eventually have nothing left to learn about you–unless you keep trying new things. Join a class or take a trip. That way, you’ll be living a life you enjoy and will constantly have new #things for him to learn about you.
4. Have your own friends: Don’t let your man become your entire life. If he sees that you have plenty of friends that love spending #time with you, he’ll realize how lucky he is to have you and won’t lose interest. That’s why it’s important to organize your time–because you want to have a social life that doesn’t involve your #man.
5. Continue dating: If you act like a boring old married couple, then you’ll start to feel that way. That’s why you need to continue to go out on dates. It’ll give you a #chance to dress up, show each other off in public, and have flirty conversations. If you want your #relationship to stay interesting, you have to act like you’re still in the honeymoon phase, even when you’ve been together for decades.
6. Give him what he wants: You aren’t his slave, so you don’t have to wait on him hand and foot. However, he won’t lose interest in you if you always surprise him by doing something special. If you know he loves cheesecake, pick him up a slice on the way home from work. If you know he hates taking out the garbage, do it for him after he had a rough day.
7. Never lose interest in him: If you don’t want him to lose interest in you, then you can’t lose interest in him. If you’re both happy to be involved in each other’s lives, then you won’t have a problem. You’ll always be excited to spend #time together.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
Best Sex Positions For Female Orgasm
When it comes to answering questions about sexual pleasure, Dr. Lori Buckley of the Sinclair Institute knows it all. This time around she discusses the G-Spot and the best sex position to orgasm.
Move away from Friend With Benefits to Thriving Relationship
Want something more, it might be time to change your dating approach
If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the bedroom.
The “friends with benefits” (or FWB) relationship is a hot-button issue for many women, so understandably most women hold a preconceived notion of what it is and speak against it.
Many think FWB is just a booty call arrangement and it’s all about sex that doesn’t benefit women in the slightest. Men, on the other hand, are the ones benefit the most out of this arrangement.
Is that so? That very much depends.
Not every woman wants a relationship and not every woman wants a relationship with the guy(s) she sleeps or has slept with, just like not every guy does!
Shocking, isn’t it?
What usually follows are the arguments perpetuated by the “Oxytocin Myth” that women will willy-nilly fall in love or bond with every guy they have sex with because of Oxytocin, the “cuddle” hormone released by men and women during sex and orgasm and physical closeness such as cuddling, kissing and hugging.
Oxytocin indeed bonds women to their partners, but … here’s the catch: that doesn’t mean every woman will act like a psycho and can’t control how deep their feelings are for the guys.
We still have control upon our own emotions. We still have freedom to choose our response. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
To some, this arrangement is a perfect way to prepare themselves for a real relationship when they are ready. It is a great way to practice relationship skills and is healing to those who have just been out of a long-term relationship or marriage.
Perhaps you’re reading this because you are under such predicament… correct? You want to know if you have a chance to turn this arrangement to something more serious and permanent.
My stance is yes … yes … yes!
It’s a limiting belief to think that relationship can only happen a certain way. There is no one form of relationship that is superior to the others. It’s all about what feels right or not right at any given moment.
If you feel you are falling fast for your FWB and want more, here are a few guidelines to follow:
1. You can always change your mind, you know.
If this arrangement doesn’t serve you anymore — the costs really exceed the benefits — you know where the door is, right? Never agree to something you are not comfortable with.
2. Wean yourself off of him.
Of course it’s not that easy to leave because you are hormonally and emotionally attached to him now, so what you need to do is to start weaning yourself off him by seeing him less and seeing others more.
I don’t recommend talking to him about wanting to be serious if he hasn’t initiated the conversation himself because the likelihood is he hasn’t changed his mind about not wanting a relationship.
A man who knows what he wants will go and get it. If he hasn’t moved the relationship forward, it’s because nothing has changed since your agreement. Getting more focused on youwill get him to notice and do something about it if he’s so inclined.
3. Don’t be more invested than he is.
Avoid being a one-down, i.e. a party of the “coupledom” who is more invested and more into the other. The more you are ridden with one-down anxiety, the more you feel vulnerable, helpless, hopeless and desperate. That will translate into you vibe and behaviors and it’s a repellent to most guys.
The secret of stability and longevity of every relationship is when no one is ahead of the other. When you “let yourself go” and start pining, you lose your power and simultaneously his attraction for you.
4. Induce some anxiety into him.
Based on point 3 above, if you can induce some anxiety into him and make him to want to put more efforts into wooing you, the more he will see you as a high-value woman. And since anxiety and uncertainty is an inherent part of romance, the vulnerable feeling he might lose you might trigger him into action.
He needs to yearn for you to fall in love.
5. Work on yourself.
Work on yourself to become a secure, self-sufficient and independent feminine woman. You are soft on the outside but steely strong in the inside. You are full within yourself and you don’t need a man to complete you. I repeat: you don’t need him.
There is a reason why a lot of women pine for guys who don’t reciprocate their love and who are not in their life: it’s because they need them.
There is a place for vulnerability in relationship, but in general you are far more desirable when you don’t need him or any man. Why? Because when you don’t need anyone to be happy, you don’t put pressure on or have high expectations of anyone to do anything for you. You become a magnet to men because they know you will be fine one way or another and they are not going to be made responsible for your happiness or lack thereof. Who wants to be blamed for anyone’s suffering?
Love yourself more than you love him, he will love you more for that! A secure woman who knows what she wants yet isn’t jaded nor desperate and is extremely attractive and desirable.
Once you become that woman, commitment is a matter of finding the right match as it will happen organically.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article