The 7 Most Frustrating Types You’ll Meet on Dating Sites

HOT AND COLD GUY:

This one drives me batty. Makes me insane with bafflement. (is that a word?) This usually happens once you are at the point where you have been talking with the guy for at least a couple weeks, or a few lengthy conversations – either in the private chat room function on the dating site, or on the phone after exchanging numbers. You have a really great phone call together, one of those types of calls where you are getting to know each other and finding out personal things about one another. It lasts hours. You have another one. And another. You start talking kind of regularly, and you talk about meeting up for a date. You make vague plans to do so for a certain day the next week. Then, he goes cold. Silent treatment. You send a text: “Everything okay? Haven’t heard from you in awhile. Just wondering if you still wanted to meet up at the coffee shop next Friday.” He responds with something that sounds as if he is blowing you off, like: “Some stuff going on here. Can’t talk.” Alrighty, then. (plus, he doesn’t answer your question that you asked in your text about meeting up, which drives me bonkers) So you wait it out. You don’t bother him. You wait a week or so, then you text again. “Hey, just checking in. I enjoyed our series of calls a couple weeks ago and haven’t heard from you since. Just making sure all is well.” He waits 3 days and then sends another round of vague, aloofness: “I’m fine. Not ignoring you.” Really? I kind of think this is the very definition of ignoring me, but whatever you say.

You wait another week because, hey, you’re not DESPERATE over here, and then you respond: “Hey there. It seems like you’ve got a lot going on right now, so I’m going to leave you be and talk with someone who has a bit more time for me in their life.” FOUR weeks go by, you start dating someone else from one of the sites, and you are in the beginnings of a new relationship. You stopped thinking about him weeks ago. He texts you. NOW. FOUR WEEKS LATER. Never explaining the aloofness or the disappearing act. Just starts talking like everything is normal. “Hey sweetie. Give me a call later. Id love to hear your voice and take you out for a nice dinner or something this weekend. Call me back.” He calls 3 more times, each time with the assumption that my life has stood still in time while I waited patiently for him to decide I’m worthy of responding to. He leaves messages. He texts. You read the text to the person you are now dating, and you both laugh at this guy’s nerve. He still never apologizes or explains where the hell he went off to for a week, then another week, then FOUR weeks. So you disappear right back, because you’re dating someone else now, and it’s too late. Hot and cold. Drives me insane.

WEIRD FETISH GUY:

Oh, these are so much fun. Sure, we all have our kinks and things that turn us on. Fine. Great. But the warp-speed and enthusiasm with which some of these men launch into their often very specific and strange fetishes on these sites, is alarming. There are so many times when talking with a new person, where I just wonder WHY they are on these dating sites when they should clearly be on some sort of sex site or phone sex line instead. These guys are looking for hookers, escorts, submissive women, dominant women, even fat women (I’m not skinny, and I found out real fast that some men actually have a sexual FETISH for bigger girls, where they get more turned on the bigger the girl is or something – I do NOT want to be someone’s weird fetish. I’m a human being!).

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The 7 Most Frustrating Types You’ll Meet on Dating Sites

About The Author
- is a writer, actor, and stand-up comedian, living in NYC. Her first book: "My Husband Is Not a Rainbow: The Hilariously, Awful Truth About Life, Love, Grief, and Loss", will be released in 2017. Twitter and Instagram is @kelleyiskelley and www.akelleylynnlife.com