Goooaaaalll…. And you thought the World Cup couldn’t get any sexier.
Tag: sex
The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship
In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
How To Remain ‘Sexy’ For Life
These simple tips will keep you healthy and feeling flirty!
Don’t let your age keep you from experiencing the pleasures of intimacy. Although libido may lessen as you age, here’s how to feel sexy for a lifetime.
As you grow older, it’s easy to lose that spark in the bedroom. Boredom, loss of adventurousness, physical ailments, and other problems can challenge even the healthiest of relationships over time, causing a loss of libido and creating emotional distance. But keeping intimacy alive can have profound effects on your life.
Research shows that healthy people have better sex lives. Fit people enjoy sex more and have lower instances of sexual dysfunction that can impair their love life. If you’re experiencing a loss of intimacy, there are steps you can take to reclaim it. Here’s how to feel sexy again.
Intimacy Tip No. 1: Stay Healthy
To keep your libido revved for lovemaking you should: Exercise regularly. Your arousal depends in large part on how well blood flows through your body. Regular aerobic exercise helps keep the heart pumping and the blood flowing.
Eat right. Eat a diet low in fats and sugars and high in fiber and good nutrition. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables, plenty of whole grains, and a good daily amount of low-fat dairy products. Protein should come in the form of fish, poultry, and lean meats.
Sleep well. Good, healthy sleep gives your body the chance to refresh and recuperate. Stop bad habits. Alcohol and tobacco can harm sexual function and can negatively affect your overall health.
Communicate
Partners with a satisfying sex life talk to one another; those with an unsatisfying one need to talk to one another.
Voice your concerns. Tell your partner about changes in your body that worry you along with any other issues that bother you about your sex life.
Describe what makes you feel good. Your partner can’t satisfy you if he doesn’t know what you desire. Don’t criticize. Focus on what he’s doing right, rather than pointing out the things he’s doing wrong. Talk at the right time. During lovemaking is the right time for discussing what you like and enjoy. Save your concerns, worries, and more negative issues for outside the bedroom.
Improve Your Own Game
Try these ways to be a better lover: Think about sex. The brain is an important — some say the most important — sexual organ. Get your head in the game by thinking about your fantasies and desires more often. Write down your sexual fantasies and share them with your partner.
Touch. Maintaining physical affection is critical to keeping a love life happy and frisky. Cuddle, hug, kiss, and hold hands often, even if you’re tired or not in the mood for sex. During lovemaking, experiment with touching your partner in ways that please and arouse him.
Educate yourself. There are plenty of self-help books available that will give you tips on improving your sexual technique.
Intimacy Tip No. 4: Have Fun
Don’t forget that sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Be sure to have fun in the bedroom (and elsewhere) by: Trying out different sexual positions. The tried-and-true missionary position can become stale. Experiment with new positions.
Taking a break from intercourse. Try pleasing each other with oral sex, manual sex, massage, and caressing. Being inventive. Leave love notes. Plan an erotic getaway. Try making love at different times of the day. Read a love poem. Craft a scene that appeals to all five senses. Try having sex in different locations.
Most importantly, have sex and enjoy intimacy on a regular basis with your partner.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
When Casual Sex Becomes Less… Casual
Sex is emotional. It’s an emotional activity that us humans enjoy participating in and for me it’s hella emotional. I personally wish occasionally that I could turn off my emotion faucet. It would save me a lot of trouble and a lot of regret filled text messages and a lot of crying in the bathroom at work situations. It seems that without me even trying, I often, with the help of oxytocin, hormones, and having apes as my ancestors, become attached to the naked person beside me, and that is never not complicated. Attachment and complication are basically synonyms.
See, we’re animals and being an animal includes sometimes not choosing who our heart wants to hook up with for a long while and that sucks. It sucks the big one, and not in a good way. ‘Cause not choosing who we want to hook up with for a long while can result in feelings being hurt/torn apart/shattered into a million pieces that cannot be put back together even if you block everyone on instagram. You sleep with another person in hopes that the previous person will be lobotomized but your stupid, idiot brain won’t delete the memories of them. In fact, your brain keeps rerunning those blissful moments like they’re a goddamn episode of Seinfeld.
And you’re like “Hey, brain, can you find something else to focus your energy on for a bit?” and your brain is like “Sure! How about I focus it on your taxes and remember that time he told you that your skin was soft? Let’s think about that for three hours”. This attachment is only made more complicated when you have agreed with the naked person that there would not be any form of attachment. That your hooking up would remain at a hooking up level and Christmases would not be spent at each other’s houses ever. Yet, regardless of that iron clad agreement, your stupid, idiot brain is all “Check out this image of you rubbing his head in your bed on your birthday! WASN’T THAT FUN/ ISN’T THIS CRUEL?”
And you can always sense this unwanted attachments arrival. Suddenly, you’re waiting for them to text you every single day. Suddenly, you’re willing to lose a ton of sleep just to have a conversation with them about dinosaurs. Suddenly, you get upset thinking about how holding their hand in public will continue to be an unfulfilled desire. Suddenly, when they mention seeing other naked people, it stings. It didn’t for two months, but now, you can’t bear hearing about it. You’re attached and you don’t want to be, but there is no going back at this point. You’ve shared too many childhood experiences. You’ve romantically spooned for too many hours. You’ve gotten late morning cheap brunch together too many times.
I didn’t comprehend this idea of unwanted attachment until recently when I began doing the casual thing for the first time. Before two years ago, I didn’t know what “casual” was or why it existed or how it smelled. I was in three long-term relationships back to back and even if I thought my first intercoursing with each boyfriend could possibly only be one night of awkward passion, the oral sex always seemed to lead to them meeting my mother a few weeks later. My process of coitus was: ask out a man/be asked out, go on said date with man who asked/was asked, fornicate with above mentioned man, and repeat for two years straight.
This resulted in me only having three copulation partners at 26-years-old, thus I was curious. I was curious about boinking random strangers I met at dive bars and/or friends of mine who I had a consistent flirt-on with and/or anyone on my “crushing hard on these peens” list. I was curious about fearing that I was impregnated by a generic dude named Mike who I couldn’t communicate with because he only checked Facebook once a year. I was curious about getting tested at the doctor and wondering “BUT WHAT IF??!?!” I was curious about the stand of the one night.
It all sounded daring and delicious and dangerous. So, after my last BF and I decided to call it mutual quits, I promised myself to remain single for at least 6 months, which turned into 12 months which turned into 24 months. And while I was pursuing singledom, I wanted to make sure I banged as many butts as I could and boy did I ever! I banged them butts like banging butts was going out of style and the world was about to end by butt explosion and my butt banging coupons were going to expire any day now.
There have been fun times. There have been not-fun times. There have been fun then not-fun then fun again then definitely not-fun at all times. I am happy that I did it and proud of myself that I delved into the scary world of non-committed horizontal tangoing. But, it has come with its problems, the major one being unwanted attachment. My attached to naked persons was guaranteed wanted before two years ago. I didn’t worry about saying “I like you” or having a texting limit or PDAs. I mean, the oral sex led to them meeting my mother every single time.
But, suddenly, I was late for work ‘cause I was up until 4 am conversing about dinosaurs with a body that was not my boyfriend’s. They weren’t necessarily my friend but they weren’t more than my friend either. They were just… a guy I slept with regularly. I haven’t wanted “more” with a bunch of guys I have slept with. In fact, I’ve wanted less. I’ve wanted the sleeping with them to not exist in history. But, then, with others, I’ve desired for them to hold my hand. I’ve hoped that they weren’t seeing other naked people, or at the very least, they didn’t enjoy seeing them naked as much as they enjoyed seeing me naked. I’ve hoped that I could eat turkey with their family at Christmas.
I’ve often wondered, “What does one do in such a situation? Do they end it? Do they continue on and pretend as if they’re totally cool with it? Do they ask for something deeper?” And I still don’t have an answer. Two years later. It seems that timing is a big factor in the “more” decision. Two people can both be attached but those attachments are unwanted due to circumstances out of their control. Or the circumstances are in their control but they, like me 24 months ago, made a promise to themselves and they want to keep it. Or their attachment to another naked person is greater than their attachment to you.
Whatever the reason, it stings. It never doesn’t sting and the stinging does not go, disappear quickly or easily.
What I have learned is that sex is hella emotional and I can’t change that. I can’t turn off my emotion faucet. If I hook up with someone and my heart chooses them, so be it. If I want them to hold my hand or text me dinosaur images in the middle of the night or meet my mom that’s okay. I don’t have to pretend that I’m totally cool with it being casual. I’m not ashamed of becoming attached. I’m actually starting to wish it happened more often. ‘Cause I’m realizing how special that attachment is, especially when it’s wanted by everyone.
Powerful Way to Prevent Sexual Assault on College Campuses
Could the key to ending rapes lie in a clinical trial?
An intensive program showing female college students how to recognize and resist sexual aggression reduced their chances of being raped over a year period by nearly half, according to new research.
The study, published Wednesday in the New England Journal of Medicine, compared the effects of attending a four-session course in resisting sexual assault to a more typical university approach of providing brochures on sexual assault.
The program is one of the first to demonstrate success in a controlled trial — and among the first to be published by the medical journal, best-known as a forum for clinical drug trials.
The study comes just weeks before colleges and universities across the country are required to detail how they will deal with sexual assault. Those reports, due to the U.S. Department of Education on July 1, are mandated by the 2013 Campus Sexual Violence Elimination Act.
At least 1 in 5 women has been a victim of sexual assault that occurred while she was attending college. By far, most of the attempted or completed sexual assaults on college campuses are perpetrated by classmates, dates or acquaintances of the victim.
Freshman and sophomore women are thought to be at the greatest risk of sexual assault.
Experts say the ubiquity of alcohol, freedom from parental monitoring, and an atmosphere that celebrates macho and athletic bravado are all factors that foster sexual assaults.
Canadian psychologist Charlene Y. Senn, lead author of the study, said that the socialization of young women often prevents many would-be victims from acknowledging and responding to a sexual predator in ways that will thwart an assault.
Young women arriving at college have widely been socialized to be friendly and likable, which can blind them to the aggressive advances they might encounter at a party, she added.
In 2005, Senn devised a curriculum to help young women overcome the emotional barriers that delay or prevent their recognition of sexual aggression and respond to it.
Over four three-hour sessions, the course worked on skills to assess, acknowledge and, if necessary, rebuff unwanted sexual advances.
Those sessions included instruction in recognizing sexual coercion and the circumstances in which it can take place. Participants also had two hours of self-defense training based on the martial art Wen-Do.
Experts caution that reducing sexual violence by focusing on a victim’s will or ability to resist has fallen out of favor in recent years.
In their place are programs that address the motives of potential perpetrators and energize bystanders to intervene. Such approaches place the blame for sexual assault squarely on the perpetrator.
By focusing on a potential victim’s power to thwart her attackers, some experts warned that such a program might contribute to blaming victims.
In an editorial accompanying the study, Kathleen C. Basile, an epidemiologist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, wrote that the study’s “primary weakness is that it places the onus for prevention on potential victims, possibly obscuring the responsibility of perpetrators and others.”
But teaching women how to identify and resist are still important strategies, Senn says.
Between September 2011 and February 2013, 893 freshman women at the Universities of Calgary, Windsor and Guelph in Canada took part in the study.
Holding three-hour sessions on weeknights and marathon sessions on weekends, Senn and her coauthors put 451 women through a series of lectures, problem-solving exercises, discussions and self-defense classes aimed at helping them define their own sexual desires and boundaries, recognize and discourage sexual aggression and resist an assault.
The remaining 442 women were assigned to a control group, in which they attended a 15-minute session and were provided brochures on sexual assault.
About a year after the sessions ended, Senn and her colleagues surveyed the participants, asking detailed questions about their sexual contacts in the preceding year.
Among women offered the brochures on sexual assault, 9.8% reported they had been raped and 9.3% reported they had been the intended victims of attempted rapes.
Some 40% reported other nonconsensual sexual contact, in which they experienced unwanted sexual touching or fondling.
An additional 14% said they had been subject to coercive sex in which a perpetrator pressured or manipulated them into compliance.
Among women who got the resistance training, 5.2% said they had been raped and 3.4% reported attempted rapes — reductions of 46.3% and 63.2% respectively.
Rates of nonconsensual sexual contact reported by this group were 34% lower than those in the control group, and reports of sexual coercion were roughly 24% less common.
Sarah Yang, a 2014 graduate of UC Davis who was president of that campus’ Women’s Health Initiative, said publication of the study in a medical journal boosts the profile of the issue.
“It validates campus sexual assault as a public health issue — and that’s huge,” said Yang, an aspiring physician. “It’s national now. It’s international.”
Senn emphasized that training only women to avert sexual assailants addresses just part of the solution.
“There’s no quick fixes,” she said. “We have to make stopping sexual violence everyone’s problem — everyone’s business — to hold men accountable, to support victims. But we also need to give women the tools they need to fight back.”
Curated by Timothy
Original Article
Tantric Yoga for Lovers
These moves look sensual and grow intimacy!
Improve the quality of your relationship and loving, increase the flow of sexual energy, and share a gentle yoga routine with your partner. Develop a regular practice for toning your bodies, and balance body mind and spirit – in and out of the bedroom.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
The Most Steamy Sexual Phrases From Romance Novels
Steamy phrases from Romance Novels can be quite funny on their own!
Why can’t we just say … *whisper* penis and vagina?
Romance novels have a language and style all their own. Though they contain sex scenes, they’ve always aimed to be more tasteful than your standard pornography fare. Hence, the flowery descriptors for male and female genitalia and sexuality. Romance novels are the proper, eloquent statesman to pornography’s grunting caveman.
What makes romance novels so much fun on a comedic level is just how creative the authors often get with the language. What do you say when you don’t want to mutter penis or vagina?
Blogger John Ferri found the humor in romance novels, as well. His wife is a fan of the genre and after reading a few himself, Ferri started compiling lists of some of the more hilarious sexual descriptions.
WARNING: Blushing and junior high-level giggling ahead.
Curated by Timothy
Original Article
What’s Your Risk Factor for Not Orgasming?
Great tips and a fun quiz!
Feel like you’re playing orgasm Russian roulette every time you get busy? Yeah, you’re not alone. Those sneaky O’s can come easily on some days, take sooo freaking long on others, and just not show up at all when they feel like it. So what the hell is up with that?
One of the biggest reasons why women aren’t climaxing every single time is because they don’t realize they need clitoral stimulation before and even during sex to reach an orgasm, says Mary Jane Minkin, ob-gyn, M.D., clinical professor at the Yale School of Medicine.
We scoped out other factors that are blocking your big O on the regular to help your assess your risk, switch up your sex game plan, and reach sweet, sweet victory.
Read through the risk factors below, and tally up how many you frequently deal with. Then, see what your no-orgasm risk is.
1. You don’t spend enough time with foreplay. If you think that penetration and G-spot action are all it takes to get to the finish line, you’re sadly mistaken, says Minkin. Since the clitoris has more nerve endings than the vagina, stimulation there is more likely to result in an O, she says. Here’s how to prolong your foreplay and have the best sex ever.
2. You’re not speaking up when something feels off. Many women aren’t vocal about what feels good to them, says Minkin. And if he’s not doing it for you, you’re not going to reach the end zone—or it could take forever, she says. Find out how you can tell him what gives you the goose bumps.
3. You’re not wearing socks during sexy time. Seriously, getting cold feet might be keeping you from feeling warm and fuzzy all over, according to a Dutch study. Apparently, only 50 percent of women were able to have an orgasm at the beginning of the trials, but when the women wore socks, 80 percent had an orgasm.
4. You don’t pee before sex. “If a woman is thinking about how she might have to go to the bathroom, she’s more focused on controlling that function than enjoying the sensation,” says Minkin. “It’s a distraction.” So go pee before the action heats up.
5. You’re not in a relationship. Sadly, an exciting one-night stand doesn’t always end in the fireworks you imagined when you first made eye contact with that random hot guy. Research shows that you’re less likely to orgasm when hooking up with someone you’ve just met than when you’re with someone you’re dating. Womp. But giving one of these positions a shot might up your chances.
6. You worry about having an orgasm during sex. When you’re anxious about not having an orgasm fast enough—or anything else going on in your life—it can make reaching orgasm more challenging, says Minkin. But don’t let a little thing like stress keep you from getting busy.
7. You’re not masturbating. “If you know how you like to be aroused, you can guide your partner when you’re having sex,” says Minkin. Learnhow to make getting busy with yourself so much better.
8. You’re not using sex toys. “I always encourage people to use toys together because it can make foreplay more fun and make it more likely that you’ll orgasm,” says Minkin. Check out these crazy, sexy, cool gadgets for couples.
9. You usually have sex after several cocktails. “Having one glass of wine or cocktail to relax is fine,” says Minkin, “but if you have two or three, it starts to dull your senses and makes it harder for you to really feel the stimulation.”
Three or fewer issues: Orgasm over-acheiver
You know how to go from zero to a mind-blowing O in no time, and you should be proud of that! Keep up the crazy-good habits; you’ve got this under control, girl.
Four to seven issues: C O-face student
So maybe you’re not hitting the high notes every. Single. Time. But you could get there with just a few simple tweaks to your routine—now that you know where to start. Once you’ve got those down, you’ll be on your way to O-town on a more regular basis. Enjoy the ride. Wink.
Seven to nine issues: Bliss beginner
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Okay, so maybe your lack of orgasms isn’t quite that serious, but bliss is still important, right? Use the helpful hints above to knock out the random things that could be ruining your roll in the hay. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Female Orgasm. Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.
‘The orgasm is no longer a mere biological function used in procreation, nor the side effect of casual pleasure … it is the very centre of the human experience and ultimately determines the happiness of the human race.’ says Wilhelm Reich
Sexuality and orgasm are widely influenced by past experiences, relationships with others, the culture in which we live, combined with the biochemical reactions in our bodies.
In western culture these factors are not discussed widely or openly enough and women are left to discover and explore their own sexuality based on the idea that we should be able to reach sexual pleasure and orgasm easily and frequently.
The fact is, no two women share the same experience of desire or even the same orgasmic pattern. Misconceptions about the “right” way to have an orgasm and expectations about normal libido leave many women feeling inadequate.
Education and greater awareness of the importance of sexuality and orgasm is needed in order for there to be less confusion and uncertainty, and more pleasure and understanding.
Women from a young age should be encouraged to talk to their friends and family about their sexuality and have access to holistic information that can help them grow and learn as sexually aware women.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
Yoga Sex vs Drunk Sex
Yoga makes sex even more awesome than booze does. Already, this entire article sounds like a lie. I mean, when I come out of the gate with such a grand unbelievable statement like that, it surely must set off your smarty-pants alarm. With all the things alcohol does to help sex, lowering the inhibitions, acting as a social lubricant, allowing the logic center of your brain enough of a stay-cation that you can bend your perception of reality into pretending that the guy from the barstool next to yours, who is currently flailing around behind you like a Muppet, is the ex you still love…it seems a little incredulous to think that there’s anything legal that could possibly do more to benefit your sex life. I get that. I too was skeptical. But it’s been proven true, and here’s a few reasons why:
1. Stress kills the libido, and chaos creates stress.
Yoga calms your mind through attention to breathing. Smooth, even breaths naturally bring tranquility to the brain. Our drunk minds aren’t calm they’re just not functioning at 100%, giving you less than your normal amount of chaos to handle. And sure, that sounds great, but think of your mind as a classroom full of kids. Getting drunk is basically filling them with birthday cake, root beer, and pixie stix, and letting them bounce off the walls. Now, of course, a few of them are going to puke and have to go to the nurse’s office, leaving you with fewer to deal with, which seems easier to keep control over; but just because there’s fewer of them doesn’t mean they’ll be able to focus on math any better. Regulated breathing, however, is like teaching those kids manners and discipline, giving them the tools they need to be able to sit at their desks and read quietly. Now, I’m certainly no teetotaler, there’s nothing wrong with the occasional sugar bomb, but having the baseline of tranquility makes for a way smoother school year.
2. Being fully present makes for greater enjoyment of an experience.
In yoga, we link our breath with our movements, creating a connection between them, keeping us present in what we’re doing, which, with a regular practice, extends into our lives beyond the mat. Staying present and attentive during sex lets us fully experience what’s going on, notice what feels good and what doesn’t, which brings us a greater awareness of our own sexual desires, needs, and wants. I won’t speak for you, but when I get drunk, it’s usually with the goal (conscious or subconscious) of disconnecting, taking a break from reality, and on more than one occasion, I’ve tried something new in bed while drunk, and woken up the next day with no recollection of how I felt about it, beyond a sore muscle or aching orifice, which usually makes me only more leery of trying said sexual feat again.
3. On the note of sore muscles, I’ll move into the myriad of physical ways yoga helps sex.
To begin, there’s flexibility and strength. A regular yoga practice increases that power pair, which helps us be more comfortable in various sexual positions. For example, a greater range of motion in the hips allows for a wider leg-spread in missionary. Stronger quads and core lets you enthusiastically stay on top longer. Downward dog leads to happier doggie-style. And having more physical stamina in general never hurt anyone (longer rolls in happier hay). Yoga also improves our circulation, increasing blood flow to the entire body, pink parts included! Increasing the blood flow enlivens our tissue and nerve endings, making us more sensitive to the tickles, tingles, and other tremendous titillations that come from my personal favorite of our national pastimes.
Yes, being drunk can also increase flexibility, but temporarily, by numbing pain receptors, which explains my sore muscles the next day. The alcohol-related lowered inhibitions led to being careless with preparations, explaining the aching orifices. I’ve never had more stamina when I’m drunk. And I am only slightly ashamed to admit that I’ve passed out during drunken sex on more than one occasion.
I think that in my attempt to draw comparisons, I may sound really judgmental, so let me clear that up: Since the first time I paired drinking and fucking, I’ve loved drunken sex. But in a very in-the-moment, life-of-spontaneous-adventure sort of way. Yoga has just allowed me to have more complete, lasting appreciation of my sexuality. So I’m not saying we should stop living our beautiful, wild lives, I’m merely encouraging the addition of a bit of balance to the engaging madness that makes us the unique treasures that we are. More mind-blowing orgasms, less face-melting hangovers? I’ll absolutely drink to that, namaste!
Boost Sexual Energy to Rejuvenate Your Relationship
Get the excitement back!
When love is new, everything is exciting, including making love. It’s partly why that first few months of married bliss is called the “honeymoon stage”—everything is great, wonderful, and thrilling. However, over time and throughout the years, you may feel a little less energetic about getting intimate with your better half.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
Best Places To Do It This Summer
It’s Summertime, it’s lovely out, and everybody knows warm weather means taking sex outside of the bedroom! Look through this list and see what you can dream up- but remember to be careful, and that telling the police “but I read it in a blog” is not a way out of a public indecency charge, young lady!
Good idea:
In A Car
This is where many kids started getting hot and heavy, because they didn’t have their own place yet- trying to contort into some kind of reasonable position can make you feel like a kid again, although the crick in your neck tomorrow might remind you that you’re not! Also, steaming up windows is almost like having them tinted!
Bad Idea:
On A Bus
Sex in a car is dirty and clandestine, but sex on the bus is just plain dirty. The Replacements sang a great song about kissing on a bus, but they never sang about going past first base.
Good Idea:
Private Office
If you or your dude have scaled the corporate ladder and have an office with a door, that’s a super hot place to hook up- big office chair, nice big desk! Not least of all, the next time he’s having a tough meeting over quarterly reports, the memory will give him a reason to smile.
Bad Idea:
Cubicle Farm
Just like no glove, no love, if there’s no door, you can’t get more. If you don’t have enough privacy in your office to make a doctor’s appointment, you shouldn’t play doctor there.
Good Idea:
In The Forest
Getting back to nature can definitely mean going au naturel- just check for poison ivy before bedding down!
Bad Idea:
In The Park
It’s easy to feel like you found a private spot, and hard to be sure! My friend thought she was getting away with a secret shag in Griffith Park until a passing bicyclist smiled and waved at her.
Good Idea:
Kitchen
Counters, sinks, hey, is your kitchen floor clean enough to screw on? Let’s find out! Next time you’re having a leisurely morning, ask your man if he wants to butter your buns, or cook breakfast in only an apron and he’ll probably figure it out on his own.
Bad Idea:
Kitchen
This part is for safety. Don’t cook breakfast naked because: bacon spatters!
Good Idea:
Quickie in a Bathroom at a Party
You’re all dressed up and you’ve had a drink and you lock eyes with your fella, or a nice looking dude- the bathroom offers privacy, a couple of surfaces to take advantage of, and in a tile bathroom, cleanup’s a breeze!
Bad Idea:
Full On Lovemaking Session in a Bathroom at a Party
Don’t keep drunk people waiting for a bathroom too long. That leads to fights and dead, pee-soaked houseplants. You will not be invited back.
Good Idea:
On A Rooftop
An empty hotel or apartment rooftop can be a great spot for warm-weather shenanigans, to say nothing of the view!
Bad Idea:
On A Rooftop
Try to keep from yelling “I’m the King of the World!” because that can get you busted. Also, make sure the stairwell door doesn’t lock behind you lest your adventure leave you stranded up there!
Good Idea:
In The Shower
Speaking of the bathroom, the shower is a fun place to get hot and steamy and get clean, then get down, then clean again! Plan ahead with some lube.
Bad Idea:
In The Pool or Hot Tub
This can’t be said enough. Dolphins are made to have sex in the water. People aren’t. We just get squeaky and dried out. Chlorine is not your friend. Don’t do it!
Lastly, The Bad Idea That Everyone Pretends Is A Good Idea:
On An Airplane
Look, the romance of joining the mile high club is very different from the reality of trying to have a tryst on an airplane. Unless you’re on a private jet, there’s barely room for one person to be in the bathroom, let alone two. If you and your lover are small enough where you can comfortably romp in a rolling suitcase, you can probably have a good time in a plane bathroom, but you folks can just stay in the suitcase as well! Next time, try doing it in a hand towel dispenser, or a water bottle, tiny people!
Stories of Rape Often Go Unheard
Sexual assault happens to many people who don’t speak out. These shocking facts are visualized below to highlight topics we often don’t speak widely about.
In the wake of the Bill Cosby scandal, New York Magazine has created what may now be considered one of the most powerful magazine covers of all time. As noted in the article, the stories of rape have stirred serious discussion, thanks in large part to social media.
But at the center of this scandal is a simple truth: There are millions of victims of sexual assault worldwide, but social stigma, among other factors, prevents many victims from speaking out and seeking help. A closer look at the numbers surrounding these crimes reveals even more disturbing trends. (And that’s not accounting for the fact that most rapes go unreported.)
To shed light on this subject, the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (Rainn.org), America’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, has compiled numbers from the FBI, Bureau of Statistics, and U.S. Department of Justice to give us a clearer picture of what is happening in the U.S. From the sheer volume of rapes, to convictions, to demographic breakdowns, these are the powerful statistics you need to know.
To learn more about victim demographics, offender demographics, state laws, reporting, and what you can do to prevent sexual assault, visit Rainn.org.
Curated by Karinna
Original Article
Crave This in Your Relationship?
What’s Your Perfect First Sequence – Sex or Intimacy?
Men and Sex
Women feel intimacy and closeness when they talk, touch, and share their thoughts and feelings with a loved one. They are usually more interested in intimacy than in sex of and for itself.
A feeling of intimate closeness takes time to develop. Therefore, women want to take their time with a relationship. They want to go through the stages of getting to know the man, becoming friends, touching, kissing, hugging and showing affection. Eventually they get around to sex when they feel closeness and believe they are in love.
If women typically require closeness and intimacy before they experience “good sex,” does that mean they can’t and won’t have sex before they feel intimate? No, it means that sex is often not satisfying, even when orgasm takes place, without that close feeling.
When some women feel pressure to have sex before they are ready, they think, “This man doesn’t love me for me. He only loves me for what he can get.”
They might even develop resentments toward men in general.
Men, Sex and Feelings
Women are probably even more of a puzzle to men than men are to women. Even though women are important to men, they live in this mysterious other world of menses and babies and rampant emotions and even tears that men can’t or don’t want to understand.
This man who is notoriously poor at figuring out his own feelings is even worse at figuring out the feelings of a woman. Just deciding what a woman wants from him in general is fraught with danger.
Many men see sex, though, as a way to get close to women, and possibly, even a way to please them. The fact that they are usually wrong, of course, doesn’t stop a man from thinking sex can make everything right with his woman. A cure-all of great proportions… “All she needs is a good f___ ,” is a common solution to male – female problems for many men.
Very seldom is that what she needs but that is another story…
“Don’t Push Me So Hard For Sex” Women Want Time Before Sex
One young woman told me that she has to have time before sex to get to know and trust a man. She has to see him in different situations, with different people, and talk to him for hours before she will “allow” herself to even consider sex.
She continued, “One guy I dated pushed so hard for sex, that I gave in before I was ready. But that made sex basically unsatisfying. Even though chemistry was there at first, I lost interest sexually. Once I decided he wasn’t a good lover, I was ready to move on. We never gave real love a chance.”
Another women agreed that time is necessary to feel a real desire for sex. She said, “If a man pushes me to sex too quickly, the relationship rarely gets much further than a few trips to bed. Then they (men) are hurt and can’t understand why I don’t stay in love with them. They don’t get it-I never was in love with them.”
Most women agree that men who push for sex before the woman is ready had better be really good in bed. Unfortunately, this is unlikely to happen.
For whatever reason, women are a diverse group in terms of what produces pleasurable sex. It is a rare man that can be a good lover to a woman without a certain amount of experience with that particular woman.
Women can forgive fumbling, partial or non-existent erections, and premature ejaculations when they are in love. They can even call up a certain acting ability in the name of love. But when love has not been given the time it takes to grow for the woman, she often labels the man a poor lover and the relationship is stillborn in the bedroom.
Some women learn to look at sexual-timing incompatibilities with humor. One lady said, “I used to resent being pushed for sex. Now I get amused at all these guys and their gropings. Most of them end up providing me with a few funny stories to tell my girlfriends. I certainly don’t fall in love with them, but I don’t get mad at them anymore either.”
And still others avoid sex. These women feel if they put themselves in the position to get what they want: affection, touching, and cuddling, they will have to do battle not to have sex.
So some women do without desired affection, particularly in the beginning of a relationship, to avoid pressure to have sex.
Why Women and Men Have Different Sex Timeframes
How can women and men have such different timeframes for the beginning of sex in a relationship? Two reasons stand out:
- Our society teaches females that “nice girls don’t.” When society has taught this lesson for years, it is hard to suddenly feel sexual, even when hormones start raging in adolescence.
- And, probably because of the lessons of their youth, women reach their sexual peak in their mid-to-late thirties or even later, rather than when teen-age hormones first kick-in.
Age is a leveler
As men and women get older, women usually become more interested in sex for the sake of sex, and most men learn to curb some of their sexual impatience, giving closeness and love a chance to flourish. So, for many single men and women, it can be true: love and sex are both more wonderful the second time around.
Without a doubt, the sexual revolution changed the sex scene for women. Fewer virgins at marriage; more women with multiple sex partners; more women having affairs; more women having sex openly, more women opting for sex only rather than marriage, etc.
Some women felt this was a change for the better. Others saw it as unfavorable.
The Changing Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors of Women
Working outside the home also changed women’s attitudes toward sex.
The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior by Samuel Janus, Ph.D. and Cynthia Janus, M.D., copyright 1993, had some eye-opening observations along this line. They wrote, “Our study has documented many levels of sexual and social changes for both women and men in the early 1990s, but we acknowledge that women’s, not men’s, sexual attitudes and behavior have drastically changed within the past two decades.
“The enormous and ongoing change in women’s social and sex lives has separated women into entirely different groups.”
The Janus’ write, “Work-life and a workplace outside the home have given a new focus to many women’s lifestyles. The innovations transcend income earned or the nature of the work performed; more significantly, they involve a personal sense of identity that sets these women apart.”
They continued, “In the women-C (career women) and the women-H (homemaker women) groups, we found that we had two distinctly different populations, regarding sex life and life-style in general.
“Women who work part-time outside the home offered responses that were almost always between those of the women-C and women-H groups.”
Interesting!
But more interesting still was another observation of The Janus Report, “One of the most striking indications of our data involves the unprecedented levels of agreement between men and women-C (those who work full-time outside of the home), as compared to women-H, who do not work outside of the home at all. New levels of sexual affinity and relatedness can also be observed, in sharp contrast to the stereotypical sexual roles men and women have had assigned to them in the past.”
They concluded, “No longer does the man alone decide the mode of sexual gratification; most often, the couple decides together.”
The sexual revolution was followed by the reality of Herpes and AIDS and the need for safe sex. Many experts predicted a slow down for sex in general and certainly a slow down for those out in the less-safe singles’ world.
Dr. and Dr. Janus found the experts were wrong.
They reported, “Approximately one-quarter of the men (24%) and one-fifth of the women (20%) had much more sex activity. When we combined sex activity.”
They continued, “Perhaps not too surprisingly, the homemakers increased their sexual activity more than the career women did (43% versus 37%). We felt justified in assuming that more homemakers than career women were in ongoing monogamous relationships.”
Certainly a major sexual change has taken place in American society. Assertiveness regarding the “when, where, and why” of sex rather than passive acquiescence to sex is now a prerogative exercised by many American women.
If the Janus’ observations are accurate, much of this sexual change was brought about by women taking jobs outside the home and acquiring a heightened sense of personal identity.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
How Millennials View Sex
Willing to reject labels altogether?
We live in a new era and new ways of discovering ourselves and our world around sex.
Do you feel comfortable with this or do you feel like a fish learning how to swim in new waters.
Here is a perspective of how millennials view sex.
Bisexual, pansexual, demiromantic, aromantic — the sexual identities with which people label themselves continue to become more diverse and more mainstream. But think back to the days long, long ago, when conversations about sexuality were typically limited to gay or straight and maybe, once in a while, bisexual. (Yawn, am I right?)
So what is it about millennials, who are both open to sexual fluidity and willing to reject labels altogether?
Curated by Timothy
Original Article