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Be Proud of Your Body During Sex

Getting intimate is the high point of any relationship and the feeling after a good sexual encounter is what makes the moment even more beautiful.


But are we body positive and do we feel nice after an enjoyable act? We decode why it is important to feel good about your body and how it’s perfectly fine if you keep the lights on during the act.

Are you body positive?

The fact that you feel good about your body, despite its flaws is important. Stand in front of the mirror with nothing on, and make sure you look at your body very closely. See how you feel to know the answer. Factors that determine body positive sex

Unconditional love

It’s all about looking at each other beyond the physical, mental and social parameters. Mira Nehra, a relationship counsellor, says, “It is about making sure both the partners experience extreme pleasure while having sex, in spite of the several imperfections they have.”

Acceptance

With love comes acceptance. The fact that you know your partner has certain flaws and you still love him/her, determines body positive sex. Psychologist Raina Gopichand, feels that acceptance of one’s body is the biggest achievement in life. “We always strive to look our best. Hence, loving yourself is something that each one of us should practise. It helps us improve our confidence and the quality of our relationships, especially the quality of sex,” she adds.

Enjoying the act

If both the partners thoroughly enjoy lovemaking, then there is absolutely no scope of feeling awkward about their bodies. It is important to make each other feel comfortable while having sex. Foreplay is an important aspect here. Exploring each other’s body before the act helps you get into the comfort zone. “If both the partners derive immense pleasure while having sex, it does not leave a scope to find faults. In fact, it is not just about people who have imperfect bodies; it is about each one of us who aspire to have the perfect body to enjoy sex. Intimacy is not all about your body shape, it’s about how you feel during the act,” says sexologist Dr Rajan Bhonsle.

What is the movement about

This online movement hopes to convey what it means to be healthy. The movement also reinstates that body acceptance is not just about losing weight. It challenges stereotypes of what larger bodies can accomplish and that body acceptance is the recognition and celebration of your body.


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Better Sex After Childbirth

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.


London: Resuming sex with your partner after childbirth may be a matter of two months on an average but when passion does return to the bedroom again, it comes with a new vigour, enabling couples to enjoy the act of lovemaking more, new research suggests.

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.

But new parents on an average wait for about 58 days before they resume sex with their partner, according to the study.

Although most women fear that their partner would not find them attractive after childbirth, the findings of the survey conducted by Britain-based parenting site Channel Mum showed that men actually prefer their partner’s post-birth figure as it is more curvy and fuller.

Just 14 per cent of new mothers feel body confident after giving birth, Daily Mail reported citing the study.

“Having a baby is the biggest change you can bring into a relationship, so it is wonderful to see it can bring couples closer together rather than drive them apart,” Siobhan Freegard, founder of Channel Mum, was quoted as saying.

The research, however, showed that men are more keen to have sex after the wait than women.

While fathers want sex twice a week on average, mothers remain content with sex just once a week.


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How Healthy is Masturbation. Can it Make a Difference to Your Sex Life?

It’s a really healthy thing. It releases great endorphins and chemicals into our bodies that help us to feel happier, to feel more creative, to feel braver. It lifts depression and helps with headaches and period cramps.


Smith said masturbation is an important way for women to learn about their own bodies and what they enjoy. She encouraged women to “relax into self love”.

“Carve out a little bit of time and prioritise this because it affects your health, your mental wellbeing and your relationships, both with yourself and with others,” she said. “It’s a really important thing, yet it comes last on our list when we’re knackered and we’ve fallen into bed.”

Smith joined physiotherapist Maeve Whelan, who specialises in women’s health at Milltown Physiotherapy in Dublin, for a conversation about painful sex, the importance of pelvic floor muscles and what all women can do to improve their sex lives.

According to Whelan, there are a number of physiological and emotional reasons women might experience pain during sex.

Smith said: “I don’t know of many women who have an issue with pain that they can do nothing about.”

Also in the sex episode, a discussion about how Irish cultural, educational and social history has shaped women’s sex lives.

Joining that discussion were Dr Mel Duffy, head of the only master’s degree programme in sexuality studies in the country at Dublin City University; Shawna Scott, owner of Sex Siopa, Ireland’s health and design-focused online sex shop; and Hot Press sex columnist Anne Sexton.

According to Sexton, some of the “cultural and economic reasons for prudery and repression” include the country’s Victorian roots, the famine’s strain on the population and the Catholic Church.

The panel also talked about the lack of quality sex education for young people.

“On the one hand, there’s an incredibly massive, overwhelming porn culture which all young people have some experience of. And on the other hand, you have this culture of horrific stories of abuse. There are very few positive messages about sex, and that’s really worrying,” Sexton said.

Also in the podcast, sexual intimacy therapist and Irish Times advice columnist Trish Murphy discussed common sex problems she encounters in her practice and what people can do about them.

The Women’s Podcast question of the week is: Are you making New Years resolutions? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Listeners are invited to tweet their answers to the question of the week @ITWomensPodcast, post to our Facebook page or email thewomenspodcast@irishtimes.com.

Individual episodes of the podcast are available on Soundcloud, iTunes, Stitcher and on irishtimes.com.


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Vixen…Interview with a True Burlesque Diva

Are you looking to improve your confidence, both in and out of the bedroom? Look no further than your own boudoir. Burlesque is more than just the tease; it is an attitude of confidence that can positively impact every area of life. There is a body-positive revolution brewing; and today, we meet a British bombshell who is setting the west coast ablaze with it.


Prepare to meet your next girl crush.

The Performer: Vixen Deville is an other-worldly sex goddess: she swallows fire, walks on glass, defies gravity with aerial hoops, and tantalizes audiences with her curves. Since leaving London for Los Angeles, Vixen has been blowing Hollywood minds with her saucy personality and sensuous feats of daring.

The Person: Cat LaCohie is a force of nature with a big mission. She lives to awaken the power in others, by teaching women (and men) to embrace their wildness and express their sensuality through Burlesque.

I recently got the chance to sit down for a no-holds-barred interview with Cat. In this intimate conversation, she reveals the lessons she has learned. In Part 1 of the following Q&A, Cat LaCohie tells us how it all went down. In Part 2, Vixen shares exclusive tips on how you can harness your own feminine power.

Part 1:

The Birth of Vixen

How did Vixen come to be?

“Originally, Vixen was everything I wanted to be, but wasn’t in real life. Growing up, I was overweight and unpopular. I hated giving presentations at school. But by the age of 9 or 10, I fell in love with acting…and I identified with strong characters, like Scarlet from Gone With The Wind. I wanted to be her, wearing corsets and dresses and everything. I became more comfortable being someone else. As a character, you can say whatever you want with no personal consequences – because they all assume you’re pretending.”

Who is Vixen, now?

“Looking back on it, I realize that if I had the confidence at the beginning, there would have been no need for a character. The stage was a safe space to express my honest thoughts. Vixen DeVille was me. When I feel powerful and sexy and shameless as Vixen, I am embracing my vulnerability and power as Cat. Vixen and I are very similar.”

I feel like everyone has a brazen alter-ego inside of them. What are the benefits of embracing this?

“As myself, I have become more confident in certain situations because I realize I’m not being judged for what I say anymore. If I say something a bit off the cuff, a bit more tongue in cheek, people like me for it. People like me for not giving a shit. You don’t have to ‘fit in’ or guess what people are expecting you to be. People love the quirkiness and weirdness that is you.”

Does Vixen also play a part in the bedroom?

“I think people expect me to be really adventurous and dominant in the bedroom, because of the persona. And Vixen is very domineering…all leather and corsets and all that. But I’m not even into that. It’s like how Halloween comes once a year and you have an excuse to dress how you’ve always wanted… Now that I play Vixen on a weekly basis, I don’t need that outlet anymore.

“In the bedroom, having a connection with somebody is way more important than sex toys or bondage or anything. It can be fun, but it shouldn’t be everything. If someone feels the need to do this with somebody, they might be avoiding connection. Great sex means simply being in tune with each other. Everything else is just bells and whistles. I personally like being dominated a little bit. It’s a give and take, really.

So while you and Vixen are very similar in life, does it bother you when people expect a certain thing in bed?

“Just because I dress a certain way, or listen to a certain type of music, or behave a certain way onstage…I’m not that way in bed. Marilyn Manson doesn’t go around killing children. You like to watch horror films, but you’re not an axe murderer.

Vixen does not discriminate when flirting with her audience. How do people respond?

“Onstage, I flirt with men and women absolutely equally. Men really like Vixen, but women find themselves attracted, too. Last night I did an act where I brought a woman onstage with me.

“People tend to over-think their sexuality to the point of shame. The stage is very freeing…if I didn’t have Vixen to speak through, I might not have had a chance to explore my sexuality. The audience jumps right in. It’s like group therapy!”

Have a Sex Talk During Sex. Could You Do It?

Getting comfortable with communicating about sex may translate to benefits in the bedroom — especially if the lines of communication are open during the act.


New research finds that comfort with sexual communication is directly linked to sexual satisfaction. People who are more comfortable talking about sex are also more likely to do so while having sex, the researchers found. Nonetheless, that difference doesn’t fully explain why the sexually chatty are happier with their erotic lives.

“Even if you just have a little bit of anxiety about the communication, that affects whether you’re communicating or not, but it also directly affected their satisfaction,” said study researcher Elizabeth Babin, an expert on health communication at Cleveland State University in Ohio.

The anxiety “might be kind of taking them out of the moment and therefore reducing the overall satisfaction they experience during their encounters,” Babin told LiveScience.

Talking about sex

How people talk about sex is an important topic for public health researchers. After all, people who are uncomfortable asking their partners to wear a condom may be at higher risk of having unprotected sex and exposing themselves to sexually transmitted infections. Communication is also key to having enjoyable sexual encounters, Babin said.

But little research has delved into what keeps people from talking about their likes and dislikes while in bed, she said.

“In order to increase communication quality, we need to figure out why people are communicating and why they’re not communicating,” Babin said.

To do so, Babin recruited 207 people, 88 from undergraduate classes and 119 from online sites, to complete surveys about their apprehension about sexual communication, their sexual satisfaction and the amount of non-verbal and verbal communication they felt they enacted during sex. For example, participants were asked how much they agreed with statements such as, “I feel nervous when I think about talking with my partner about the sexual aspects of our relationship,” and “I feel anxious when I think about telling my partner what I dislike during sex.”

The participants, whose average age was 29, also responded to questions about their sexual self-esteem, such as how good a partner they felt they were and how confident they were in their sexual skills.

Communication without words

The surveys revealed that apprehension in talking about sex can spoil one’s sexual enjoyment, with that anxiety linked both to less communication in bed and less satisfaction overall. Unsurprisingly, less sexual communication apprehension and higher sexual self-esteem were both associated with more communication during sex.

Communication during sex, in turn, was linked to more sexual satisfaction. Nonverbal communication was more closely linked to satisfaction than verbal communication, Babin reported online in August in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Nonverbal cues may seem safer, Babin said.

“It could be perceived as being less threatening, so it might be easier to moan or to move in a certain way to communicate that I’m enjoying the sexual encounter than to say, ‘Hey, this feels really good, I like that,'” Babin said. “That might seem too direct for some people.”

Babin next plans to research couples to get both sides of the story and to find out how couples’ communication styles mesh with their sexual satisfaction. The end goal, she said, is to give therapists and sex educators tools to help them teach people how to talk about sex more openly with their partners.

Sexual communication “is a skill,” Babin said. “And we’re not all well-trained in that skill.”


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Safer Sex …You Can Have It.

Condoms and communication make sex so much safer. Safer sex is a general term used to describe methods for reducing the chance that you will spread or catch sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also known as sexually transmitted infections or STIs).


Safer sex is a general term used to describe methods for reducing the chance that you will spread or catch sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also known as sexually transmitted infections or STIs). The idea is that with a few simple tools and strategies, you can increase safety without sacrificing your sex life.

Use condoms

The first and best line of defense is to use a latex barrier whenever you have sex (if you have a latex allergy, use polyurethane instead). That means using a condom on the penis or on a sex toy; latex gloves on your hands; and when engaging in oral sex, dental dams or plastic wrap to cover the anus or vagina.

Get tested for HIV and other STDs

Knowing your own status is the only way to approach the next point honestly.

Communicate

Safer sex also involves talking with your partner, discussing activities and risks and making educated choices together. Of course, sex raises a number of other questions. Do you trust your partner? How do you get a guy to use a condom if he refuses to do so? What if you are suspicious that your partner is not being monogamous?

Some people choose to avoid risky activities completely or find ways to reduce the complications associated with them—although this strategy still requires honesty, communication, and STD testing.

Be monogamous or abstinent

Total abstinence is the only 100% effective safe sex method; it’s just not that realistic for most people. Next in line is a long-term monogamous relationship in which both partners know their status to be negative for STDs (itself requiring testing and honest communication), and both stay true to the monogamous ideal.


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5 Myths That Are Holding Back Your Sex Life

After reading through this list, you may be on your way to a better sex life.


Plenty of experienced guys think they know everything about sex, but do they really? Many accept stories about their friend’s sister’s cousin as fact without question. Stories have a way of growing more exaggerated over time, though, making it difficult to judge what’s truth and what’s a complete fabrication. Even a long list of partners is no way to guarantee knowledge.

We’re on a mission to put the truth back into getting it on, so we’re busting five myths you’ve probably heard a thousand times. Surprisingly, the facts offer a lot of good news. After reading through this list, you may be on your way to a better sex life.

1. Bigger is better

Most guys have heard a few people say size doesn’t matter, though very few seem to believe it. When it comes right down to it, you’re probably a lot more concerned about the ampleness of your member than your partner is. A recent survey of more than 1,000 people from Cosmopolitan.com found 89% of respondents weren’t concerned with their partner’s penis size. And some evidence suggests it has more to do with proportion than actual size.

The real takeaway is you should know how to work with what you’ve been given. Relationship expert and author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love, Deborah Anapol, penned a piece in Psychology Today that indicated a smaller size can actually be an advantage. “A smaller penis is often easier to maneuver inside the vagina, and may motivate the man to explore a variety of ways to please his lover,” she said.

2. It’s all downhill after you turn 40

Most of us reach our peak physical fitness sometime in our 20s. This includes a combination of endurance, strength, and flexibility, all important building blocks for a successful romp in the sheets, right? Maybe not. Researchers from the University of Gothenburg found 62% of women and 71% of men over the age of 70 reported feeling very satisfied with their sex lives. Maybe even more important is the fact these percentages have substantially increased since the 1970s.

Some of this may be due to a stronger relationship. Melanie Davis, a certified sexual educator (CSE), told Men’s Health, “There’s less emphasis on quick orgasms and more focus on sensuality, creativity, and emotional connection.” Basically, it has a lot more to do with the person than the specific sensation.

Older individuals also tend to have a fewer sexual hangups. Many young people find it hard to speak up during intercourse, but if you don’t tell your partner what you want, it’s unlikely they’ll just figure it out. Dr. Carmella Sebastian, an expert in women’s wellness and sexuality, told WebMD she didn’t experience multiple orgasms until after she’d had two children. She attributed it to increased confidence that allowed her to start asking for what she really wanted in the bedroom.

3. Men care more about sex than women do

We’ve all heard it before: Men think about sex every seven seconds. No one has been able to verify this statistic, but it’s widely accepted as truth or at least as mostly true. The other supposed truth is that women fall far behind when it comes to thinking about a romp in the sheets. According to a 2011 study from Ohio State University, men think about sex 19 times per day while women average 10 per day. Still more research suggests women may actually have a greater craving for bedroom time than men. One recent survey found 53.2% of females want more sex in their relationships.

Keep in mind, it’s the individual that matters most. Some people naturally have higher sex drives than others, regardless of gender. One story from The Huffington Post featured 13 females who craved far more sexual intimacy than their partners.

4. Great sex is effortless

Our notions of sex and how it should unfold are informed a little too much by pop culture. Things happen so effortlessly onscreen, but that’s only because 15 minutes of awkward conversation and fumbling doesn’t make for good TV. As AskMen pointed out, “the human body doesn’t come with an instruction manual.” Each person is different and just because one partner liked a particular move doesn’t mean your next one will. Honest communication is the best way to find your bedroom groove, and it may take a few times to get there.

There’s also no guarantee a great bedroom session will just happen. Rachel Hills, author of The Sex Myth, told New York Post spontaneity is more likely at the beginning of a relationship. Later on, it usually takes more of an effort. Scheduling time for sex might sound ridiculous, but it’s a good way to take the pressure off both you and your partner.

5. Monogamy only comes naturally to women

Men have unfairly been labeled as players, and once again, it’s probably been influenced by movies and TV shows. The Atlantic highlighted a 2013 book by journalist Daniel Bergner called What Do Women Want?, which suggested females may actually be less inclined to monogamy than males. More recently, a study published in Biology Letters found all people, rather than a specific gender, either tend towards monogamy or polygamy.

Once again, communication is key. You and your partner should both be honest about what it is you’re looking for. If one is seeking a spouse while the other just wants to have fun, you’re both in for a messy ending.


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Oysters—Ready for a Romantic Week

“Yes, I do think these molluscs are aphrodisiacs. If the male is having difficulties, they have to eat a lot of mussels or oysters.


Casanova, the 18th century lover who used to breakfast on 50 oysters, has been vindicated by a study that proves they really are aphrodisiacs.

And spring, the scientists say, is the time of year the shellfish have their greatest aphrodisiac quality.

The team of American and Italian researchers analysed bivalve molluscs – a group of shellfish that includes oysters – and found they were rich in rare amino acids that trigger increased levels of sex hormones.

The link was announced to 15,000 scientists in San Diego, California, at a meeting of the American Chemical Society last week.

It generated possibly more interest than any other discovery in the society’s 126-year history. “I am amazed,” said George Fisher, a professor of chemistry at Barry University, Miami, who led the research team with his graduate student Raul Mirza and Antimo D’Aniello, of the Laboratory of Neurobiology in Naples.

“I have been a scientist for 40 years and my research has never generated interest like this.

“For centuries, old wives’ tales have said that eating raw molluscs – oysters in particular – would stimulate the libido but there has really been no scientific evidence as to why and if this occurs.

“We think this could be the first scientific evidence of some substance.

“Did Casanova’s 50 oysters really make him frisky? Could be.” Previous speculation about the powers of oysters has centred on the refuelling powers of their high zinc content.

Zinc is found in sperm and men lose between one and three milligrams per ejaculation.

Dr Fisher and his team, partly funded by the United States National Institutes of Health, bought samples of bivalve molluscs – which also include mussels and clams – from fish markets near Dr D’Aniello’s Naples laboratory.

They then used a process called high-performance li-quid chromatography to identify which amino acids were present and in what quantities.

They found two unusual ones – D-aspartic acid (D-Asp) and N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA).

“They are not the normal amino acids that Mother Nature uses,” said Dr Fisher. “You can’t just find them in a vitamin shop.”

Dr D’Aniello had found in earlier experiments that injecting the amino acids into rats triggered a chain reaction of hormones that ended with the production of testosterone in males and progesterone in females.

“Increased levels of those hormones in the blood means you are more active sexually,” he said.

How Making Love in the Morning Makes You Healthy

Now, health experts and researchers claim that morning love making is in fact good for health.


At least once in a lifetime, any couple would generally try Sunday morning love making. Now, health experts and researchers claim that morning love making is in fact good for health.Most of us have been totally conditioned. We keep the most beautiful things for the night’s schedule. There is no rule that you need to wait till it is darkness to express your love. As you experience the endorphin effect early in the morning, you will start seeing a beautiful world throughout the day even if the world is ugly and bad.Here are some health benefits of morning love making.

Morning love making health benefits are:

1.You Can Forget About Your Gym:

The calories that are burnt after a 30 minute jog can be easily burnt if you spend an hour on bed making love.

2.A Great Way To Start The Day:

If you start the day with passionate love, your entire day will be a great day and you can take on your life’s challenges with ease.

3.You Can Handle Stress Well:

The stress you experience in the traffic and in the work place look like small things when your spirits are high.

4.You Can Enjoy Better Moods Throughout The Day:

When your day starts with that high, your moods tend to be elevated for hours together and this is the best way to keep depressive moods at bay.

5.You Can Look Better:

Researchers have claimed long back that orgasms can make your skin and hair look better.

6.You Can Enjoy Better Immunity:

When you are travelling to work, if you see other around you coughing, you can consider yourself lucky. Your immunity gets a boost due to the love-making in the morning. So infections stay at bay.

7.Morning Is The Best Time For Men:

The hormonal cycles of men are at peaks in the morning. So, your man will be high with testosterone in the morning. Make the best out of his hormones.

8.You Can Come Out Of Your Caffeine Addiction:

Though coffee is the best thing in the morning, it is addictive and unhealthy. But when you get used to morning love, you can beat that addiction.

These are the health benefits of morning love making.


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What You Seek Is Seeking You… Make LOVE Daily

“What you seek is seeking you” – Rumi.


It is often said that the way we can get closest to feeling complete, and being whole, enough; is by choosing LOVE.  I have to admit; that this is a concept I so struggled with in my past.  I grew up on a healthy diet of fear.  Fear of what others may think (I’m British, so this is a national dilemma for my people).  Fear of being too much; too happy, too shiny, too chatty, too honest.  And fear of not being enough; not fast enough for the team, not creative enough for art, not coordinated enough for dance, not good enough to make choir, or, as it turned out, not enough to make my father stay.

I set out to seek LOVE and acceptance in the world as a way to compensate for my self-perceived flaws.  I traveled the globe, looking for LOVE and finding what I had defined as LOVE in a multitude of experiences, yet frequently managing to come up short.  I had great jobs, created a great business.  I set up lovely homes and met amazing people.  I fell in LOVE and married a man.  But my subconscious fears of not being enough was mirrored back to me by my mate, and I would ultimately become someone else’s “more” to compensate for their “less”.  We both fell short.  From the outside looking in, you might think I was running a pretty awesome LOVE story, but my sense of dread was omnipresent and the burden of being responsible for another’s happiness had drained my heart to the point of collapse.  It wasn’t until I was living the terrifying day-to-day reality with a partner who looked anywhere and everywhere outside of themselves to feel good inside, that I realized this LOVE story was missing one critical character; its’ heroine.  For in the act of seeking LOVE, I had lost my true Self.  I had done a spectacular job of giving to others, but not to my Self, and the experience had left me beyond exhausted and numb.

In times of adversity, there is much gold to be mined.  And buried amongst the rubble of my broken heart, marriage and family; lay the shiniest, most radiant, yet simplest truth of all.  That LOVE began with loving me.  When I began to choose LOVE for my Self, my life would be forever changed.  And I would finally feel complete, whole and enough.

The compassion of my truth led me to the understanding that I was in need of redefining my relationship with LOVE and to begin living the answers to my questions.

Why am I here?  To learn how to LOVE, and be Loved.

What makes the world a better place to live in?  LOVE.

What am I seeking? LOVE.

What could we all use more of?  LOVE.

What can I give and never run out of?  LOVE.

What’s the language of the Universe? LOVE.

What connects us all?  LOVE.

What is the answer to all my questions?  LOVE.

Perfect Bedroom Tips for Valentine’s

Is your bedroom Valentine’s Day ready?


Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and we’ve already given you plenty of ideas for gifts for your sweetheart, ways to decorate your home and adorable cards to send to your loved-ones in the mail. But let’s get down to business. Is your bedroom Valentine’s Day ready?

We spoke with a renowned sex coach, Amy Levine of Ignite Your Pleasure to get sexy bedroom ideas and tips to make a few simple changes so this space is a scene for red hot romance.

Amy Levine: Often the bedroom can be a catch-all of clutter, rather than a sensual haven. Look around your room and take note of the sights that cause you to be stressed out, overwhelmed or anxious, and remove them.

Levine also listed the 5 common culprits that turn out to be sources of “sexual sabotage.”

Clothing – This includes both dirty and clean laundry. Put clean clothes away in your closet and dirty clothes in the hamper as soon as you take them off (except the items you strip off in the heat of the moment as you’re getting it on).

Papers and Books – Move any bills that need to be paid, other paperwork, and books that you haven’t had time to read to another room. They don’t belong in your bedroom as they serve as reminders of to-dos, and can prevent you from getting in the mood.

Technology – A computer, TV, cell phone or tablet charging on your nightstand are all distractions.

Photos – Do you really want to look at a photo of family members when you’re having sex? Probably not. Instead, angle these photos away from the bed, or move them to the living room.

Children’s Toys – While your kids may play in your room at times, move their things to their own bedroom or playroom.

Basically, if an item is not in sync with making you feel sexy or allowing you to have a great night’s sleep, then get it out of your bedroom!

Why Sex Can Be More Fun In Winter

…apart from the obvious benefits of having more sex, what are some other big benefits of getting naked more often when it’s cold outside?


Just like our moods change with the transition from one season to another, so do our sex drives. In fact, many experts say couples tend to have more sex in the wintertime than other months, both based on desire, availability, and well, boredom (cabin fever, anyone?). Psychotherapist Kelley Kitley says during the Winter, couples have fewer distractions that keep them from getting it on. “During the Winter months you spend more time with your partner, and generally speaking, sex improves the quality of a relationship: women report they tend to feel emotionally closer to their partners after sex and men are more likely to be more complimentary or affectionate to their female counterparts after sexual intimacy,” Kitley explained.

But apart from the obvious benefits of having more sex, what are some other big benefits of getting naked more often when it’s cold outside? Here, experts give you the surprising scoop on the perks of having sex when it’s cold.

1. Sex Releases Endorphins

If you suffer from any of the symptoms of seasonal depression — lack of interest in doing things you normally love, depressed for no reason, sleeping more — combat those blues with a romp (or two!). “Sex counts as exercise. It releases endorphins that make people feel happier, which in turn can contribute to a better-quality relationship,” Kitley said. So if you can’t make it to the gym — or the mere thought of putting on four layers to walk 10 blocks seems daunting — get in your sweat sesh at home with your, um, favorite trainer.

2. Sex Boosts Your Immunity

While an orgasm can’t replace the flu shot, it can give your body a great defensive system against getting sick. Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, host of Playboy TV’s Swing and author of The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love, says having sex boosts your immune system. According to one study, salivary levels of immunoglobulin A (which has the potential to ward off the common cold/flu) are significantly higher in those who have sex three or more times per week.

Discover the Benefits Music Has on Sex Study

The research found that people who play loud music at home have more sex than those who don’t really have that much interest in playing music.


The environment we are in when we have sex plays a big role on how we are going to enjoy the deed. Some people say they like to do in a quiet room with scented candles. Some want to be in a location where they can enjoy having sex while playing good music.

According to a new study, couples who enjoy having sex at home while the music is on have 67 more sex compared to those who have other ways, Fox News reported.

This should be good news for couples who are planning to rekindle their sexual intimacy and what better way to start it on Valentine’s Day.

The study conducted by Sonos involves 30,000 people from eight different countries. They were asked about the music they listen to and their personal relationships at home.

The research found that people who play loud music at home have more sex than those who don’t really have that much interest in playing music. The study also confirms that folks who listen to a lot of music spend more time with their partners at home than those who listened the least.

Neuroscientist and author of the international bestselling book “This is Your Brain on Music” Dr. Daniel J. Levitin said that those people who have a lot of music in them are always in a better mood, inspired, less stress and more expressive. It appears that music can make a person happy.

Inventive Moments to Have Sex When You Have a 6 Month Old

Here are my three favorite ideas I’ve gathered about how to get that nookie when your kids aren’t looking!


My husband and I have a six-month-old baby. We love the crap out of this kid. She’s delightful and hilarious and for all intents and purposes, a great baby. However, she is, and I feel no remorse in calling her this, the ultimate cock block.

As two working adult comedians it’s hard enough to find time for sex even without this beautiful bundle of distraction, but with a kid it’s almost impossible! I quickly discovered as I asked around to our other be-babied friends, that we were certainly not alone in this sexual conundrum. So here are my three favorite ideas I’ve gathered about how to get that bootie when your kids aren’t looking!

The first is what I like to call “nap time nookie”. This can get tricky as some parents, ourselves included, only have one bedroom which usually means throwing down on the couch (though my husband is 6’4”, so it’s not always comfortable), or as one hilarious parent referred to it, “12 minutes on the den sofa after they’ve gone down”. Sometimes this attempt can get dangerous if you’re trying to squeeze in a few moments to yourselves. You see babies, at least mine, are born with excellent timing. They can sense your unbridled, adult-time happiness so their eyes spring open and they start squealing for your attention, thinking “oh no Mommy, this is not the time to enjoy yourself, it’s time for you to sing to me and let me breast feed until your boobs look like two tube socks filled with sand!” Luckily I’m not alone in this experience, and as one mom revealed she and her husband decided to take advantage of nap time and even though their baby had awakened, they let the little one cry for a few minutes and try to fall back asleep on her own for a bit. This would’ve worked had their neighbor not heard the baby and burst into the apartment to let them know she was up! Thank you neighbor! We know! And also how the fuck did you get in here? Did you make a key for yourself? We’re moving for sure.

Anyway, the moral of this story is, when the kids go down, you can also.

Another tried and true method is utilizing the babysitter. I mean, you’re paying them so why not add a few moments onto your grocery run with hooking up in your car, or as another mommy friend of mine told me, doing their “taxes” in the garage office. Taxes can be complicated, what with all those deductions and donations and what-not, so this seems like something the sitter may have to stick around for a couple times this month. And next…actually, it turns out we’re filing late this year! Maybe we should pencil you in for a few times this week alone! This story also made me realize I now know the true meaning behind product “TurboTax”.

Finally, try referring to the letter of the day, which will always be S, as in Sesame Street. My baby is mesmerized by this magical show, which gives me and her dad approximately five minutes to go the bedroom and jump all over each other. It’s a very efficient five minutes indeed. Some parents may be against TV for their babies, but I justify it by telling myself Sesame Street is educational, adorable, teaches kindness, has fabulous musical numbers, and most importantly enough stimuli to distract even the most active six month old.

The point is, keeping the romance in your relationship can be challenging enough, but taking time, even a very productive five minutes, can keep your partnership strong and full of life!

Why Young Women Are Finally Being Taught Sex Must Be Pleasing

An education resource that teaches girls and boys that sexual intimacy should be pleasurable shouldn’t be revolutionary in 2016 – but it is.


Our friend Danielle narrated the experience of losing her virginity to us all on the bus.

Shedding oneself of the virginity burden had developed into a competition among our gang of spindly 16-year-old girls and there was now something of a ritual post-match analysis. Details were demanded to educate the uninitiated, as well as to provide a means of comparison for everyone else. “How did it feel?” enquired someone hanging over their bus seat, “what was it like?”

Danielle grimaced, in consideration. “Like pushing a bruise,” she concluded, finding a dark bruise on her thigh, and poking the tips of two fingers in it, wincing, to demonstrate.

More than 20 years later, the image of the bruise, the fingers and the wince yet sears. I recalled it when reading about a new sex education resource that’s being launched in Australia. Developed at La Trobe University, the resource for school teachers contains material for guided class discussions, quizzes, lots of information as well as wry animated videos as well as the revolutionary instruction that sexual intimacy should be … pleasurable. How radical!

At school, I sat through many a sex-ed class rolling condoms on carrots, one awkward lunchtime watching two girls in my year do a clothed demonstration of what they got up to with some butchers’ apprentices and way too many bus-ride confessions with the likes of Danielle to have reasonable expectations that first-time sex could be pleasant.

My own first time resembled being staked to the ground by a falling piano with sharp elbows and drool. I don’t blame the boy for his sexual narcissism – if it had not been for SBS movies, I’d have had little to encourage me that the performance of the act, or its enjoyability, could be any different. The issue at the time was that I didn’t even have a language to articulate my own desires, let alone a context that encouraged any communication to take place beyond a “yes”.

My experience, of course, was many years ago, and yet it says much that it’s more than two entire decades later that the La Trobe resource is being praised in Australia for its fresh take on sex ed. The teaching of sexuality to young people by the culture beyond the classroom rarely clarifies the precise mechanics of pleasure – particularly the pleasure of young women – and its messages are confusing and archaic.

Films like the well-received Sexy Baby, from 2012, document the extraordinary contemporary cultural pressure applied to women to perform sexual attractiveness and availability. And last year sex researcher Emily Nagoski received due critical praise for her scientific claim that “stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it” in her book Come As You Are.