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Want to Fall Deeper in Love? Take Up These Sex Habits

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

Sex can be, and can be used for, so many different things. But early in a relationship, once you get through a couple of awkward rounds, sex can play a big role in building intimacy and even falling in love.

There is sex that is straight up sex for sex’s sake— passionate, charged, carnal. There’s awkward, first-time with someone you really like sex. There’s random hookup sex. There’s long-term couple trying to spice it up sex. The list goes on—but building intimacy during sex is one we rarely talk about.

Warning: The following sex acts may lead to the awkward “Oh crap one of us said “I love you” during sex— does it count!?” dilemma. Don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. It’s no need to be embarrassed, even if it is really awkward. Just remember you’re not alone. (And the generally consensus seems to be that it doesn’t really count.) Between a really intimate act that you’re doing, heart racing, hormones all over the place, it’s so easy to let it slip out in the moment.

But what are the more intimate sex acts? The ones that can make you feel so connected to your partner and overwhelmed with emotions? Here are 6 sex acts that help build intimacy.

1. Kissing

I know it may seem basic, but don’t discount kissing as a very important sex act. And maybe the most intimate one. Along with cuddling, a lot of people avoid kissing during one-night stands because of this. It’s something we do all the time, but sometimes we can get distracted during sex and not do it as much as we should. But if you stick to positions where kissing is an option, you’ll really feel connected to your partner.

2. Missionary

Maybe because it’s sort of the classic go-to position, there’s definitely something romantic about it. Your faces and your entire bodies are very, very close, and the weight of whoever is on top keeps you in constant contact. And it’s not just for hetero sex. So whoever you are, there can be all the eye contact, kissing, and intimacy you can handle.

3. Oral Sex

Oral sex is intimate no matter what, because you’re getting up close in personal with parts of the body we’re normally taught should be kept hidden. But while every man I’ve ever met unselfconsciously loves a blow job, a lot of women find someone going down on them incredibly intimate— almost intimidatingly so. Maybe it’s because you end up with someone’s tongue basically, or definitely, inside you, or maybe it’s just that we’re taught to be even more ashamed of our vulva and that people don’t like going down on it. (Both of which are ridiculous.) In any case, for a lot of women getting to a point where you’re completely comfortable with oral sex means a whole lot of trust.

4. Undressing

When you’re new in a relationship it’s probably all about tearing each other’s clothes off, but then it slows down. I’m not saying you need some kind of big cheesy striptease, or to make a whole event out of it, but there’s something really sexy and romantic about building up from just a bit of kissing, to heavy kissing, to feeling each other, and then slowly going beneath the clothing and removing them completely. All of that combined with making out can be a really connect you to your partner.

5. Side-By-Side

Similarly to missionary, having sex facing each other, both of you on your side, has the benefit of all over contact and your faces being close for kissing, or just some sickly-sweet staring into each other eyes. But while in missionary, one person is definitely dominant within the position, when you have sex side-by-side there’s a more even playing field. Especially if you’re having lesbian sex and mutually fingering each other, it’s a really leveling, connecting position.

6. Post-Sex Cuddle

If you are a better person than me and lay there without making a horrible awkward joke, it’s when you kind of bask in a little love halo (if you’re having sex with someone you have romantic feelings for). Taking some time to relax into that and just enjoy it is a sure way to build intimacy.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Passionate Sex Every Day for The New Year—Here is How

by zfortadminin Sex

Three couples make the vow to relight their fires in January … but which of them can keep it?

MANY couples feel their sex life flagging after the festive season left them feeling tired, stressed, broke and overweight.

But the three here have made a New Year vow to relight their fires in January by making love every day.

DIANA APPLEYARD hears how they got it on, or not, during week one.

‘It’s passionate and wild and we both orgasm loudly before each collapsing in a heap’

HOUSEWIFE Heather Banks and her builder husband Wayne, both 39, have sons of six and four in Shepton Mallet, Somerset. Their busy life had seen them having sex weekly, if that. Here’s Heather’s take on their sexy 2016:

JAN 1: Both hung over, and I’m depressed about us both turning 40 this year and the fact I put on half a stone over Christmas. Wayne snuggles up to me to remind me of our pledge but I push him away. I feel fat and tired. But then I take a deep breath and pop open the top button of my nightie. That’s all Wayne needs and, as he buries his head in my breasts, I feel turned on. The act doesn’t last long but we feel much closer and later sleep in each other’s arms.

JAN 2: We are back on form, recovered from New Year. The kids are asleep by 8pm and, after a couple of glasses of wine, I go upstairs to get all dolled up, in sexy lingerie and full make-up. Wayne pulls out the sofa bed in the living room and, when I return, he is lying naked but for a giant foam finger protecting his modesty. I stifle a giggle then jump on him. There is not a lot of foreplay but it’s passionate and wild and we both orgasm loudly then each collapse in a satisfied heap.

JAN 3: Wayne makes dinner and I ask him to wear nothing but the apron. He’s got a great bum and treats me to a sexy dance. This time we focus on foreplay more. When we first got together, eight years ago, I impressed Wayne with my oral skills. Sadly, they got rusty. But tonight I’ve still got it. I pull tricks out of the bag from my student days, he’s groaning in ecstasy and I love the fact I can still turn him on. I pretend to be a porn star and my confidence grows. We have our best sex yet.

JAN 4: I am just not feeling it tonight. The kids go back to school tomorrow and, despite Wayne trying his hardest, I can’t stop my mind wandering. “Are the lunchboxes done? Did I set the alarm? Are the PE kits washed?” Wayne notices I’m distracted and it is made worse for both of us by the fact we’re trying to cut down on booze this month. We feel awkward. Eventually we have sex but it is an effort.

JAN 5: To get in the mood, we discuss other people who turn us on. Top for me is David Beckham, while Wayne astonishes me by saying he fancies Miranda Hart’s screen mum on her TV show. We also discuss fetishes that turn us on. We haven’t spoken like this for ages. The sex is great, fuelled by our fantasies.

JAN 6:Once Wayne’s on top of me and we really get going, I start talking dirty and it gets him even more aroused. I say things I’m going to do to him and what I want him to do to me. We both orgasm – then eat chocolate. Perfect.

JAN 7: Wayne comes home for lunch today, the kids are at school and . . . bingo! This week has put flirtation back in our marriage and I was sending him sexy texts all morning, teasing him about what I was going to do for him when he came home – and it did not involve shepherd’s pie. I even sent him pictures of sex toys I have ordered online. This is going to be quite a year.

— SHE SAYS: This has brought back the fun. We’ll definitely keep this up.

— HE SAYS: We’re back on track. But Heather is so kinky, I never know what she’ll suggest next. I’m excited but scared. I’ll just have to man up.

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Be Proud of Your Body During Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

Getting intimate is the high point of any relationship and the feeling after a good sexual encounter is what makes the moment even more beautiful.

But are we body positive and do we feel nice after an enjoyable act? We decode why it is important to feel good about your body and how it’s perfectly fine if you keep the lights on during the act.

Are you body positive?

The fact that you feel good about your body, despite its flaws is important. Stand in front of the mirror with nothing on, and make sure you look at your body very closely. See how you feel to know the answer. Factors that determine body positive sex

Unconditional love

It’s all about looking at each other beyond the physical, mental and social parameters. Mira Nehra, a relationship counsellor, says, “It is about making sure both the partners experience extreme pleasure while having sex, in spite of the several imperfections they have.”

Acceptance

With love comes acceptance. The fact that you know your partner has certain flaws and you still love him/her, determines body positive sex. Psychologist Raina Gopichand, feels that acceptance of one’s body is the biggest achievement in life. “We always strive to look our best. Hence, loving yourself is something that each one of us should practise. It helps us improve our confidence and the quality of our relationships, especially the quality of sex,” she adds.

Enjoying the act

If both the partners thoroughly enjoy lovemaking, then there is absolutely no scope of feeling awkward about their bodies. It is important to make each other feel comfortable while having sex. Foreplay is an important aspect here. Exploring each other’s body before the act helps you get into the comfort zone. “If both the partners derive immense pleasure while having sex, it does not leave a scope to find faults. In fact, it is not just about people who have imperfect bodies; it is about each one of us who aspire to have the perfect body to enjoy sex. Intimacy is not all about your body shape, it’s about how you feel during the act,” says sexologist Dr Rajan Bhonsle.

What is the movement about

This online movement hopes to convey what it means to be healthy. The movement also reinstates that body acceptance is not just about losing weight. It challenges stereotypes of what larger bodies can accomplish and that body acceptance is the recognition and celebration of your body.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Better Sex After Childbirth

by zfortadminin Sex

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.

London: Resuming sex with your partner after childbirth may be a matter of two months on an average but when passion does return to the bedroom again, it comes with a new vigour, enabling couples to enjoy the act of lovemaking more, new research suggests.

A study of 1,118 couples with children showed that 94 percent said they were satisfied with their sex lives and nearly 60 percent said that it actually got better after childbirth.

But new parents on an average wait for about 58 days before they resume sex with their partner, according to the study.

Although most women fear that their partner would not find them attractive after childbirth, the findings of the survey conducted by Britain-based parenting site Channel Mum showed that men actually prefer their partner’s post-birth figure as it is more curvy and fuller.

Just 14 per cent of new mothers feel body confident after giving birth, Daily Mail reported citing the study.

“Having a baby is the biggest change you can bring into a relationship, so it is wonderful to see it can bring couples closer together rather than drive them apart,” Siobhan Freegard, founder of Channel Mum, was quoted as saying.

The research, however, showed that men are more keen to have sex after the wait than women.

While fathers want sex twice a week on average, mothers remain content with sex just once a week.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Healthy is Masturbation. Can it Make a Difference to Your Sex Life?

by zfortadminin Sex

It’s a really healthy thing. It releases great endorphins and chemicals into our bodies that help us to feel happier, to feel more creative, to feel braver. It lifts depression and helps with headaches and period cramps.

Smith said masturbation is an important way for women to learn about their own bodies and what they enjoy. She encouraged women to “relax into self love”.

“Carve out a little bit of time and prioritise this because it affects your health, your mental wellbeing and your relationships, both with yourself and with others,” she said. “It’s a really important thing, yet it comes last on our list when we’re knackered and we’ve fallen into bed.”

Smith joined physiotherapist Maeve Whelan, who specialises in women’s health at Milltown Physiotherapy in Dublin, for a conversation about painful sex, the importance of pelvic floor muscles and what all women can do to improve their sex lives.

According to Whelan, there are a number of physiological and emotional reasons women might experience pain during sex.

Smith said: “I don’t know of many women who have an issue with pain that they can do nothing about.”

Also in the sex episode, a discussion about how Irish cultural, educational and social history has shaped women’s sex lives.

Joining that discussion were Dr Mel Duffy, head of the only master’s degree programme in sexuality studies in the country at Dublin City University; Shawna Scott, owner of Sex Siopa, Ireland’s health and design-focused online sex shop; and Hot Press sex columnist Anne Sexton.

According to Sexton, some of the “cultural and economic reasons for prudery and repression” include the country’s Victorian roots, the famine’s strain on the population and the Catholic Church.

The panel also talked about the lack of quality sex education for young people.

“On the one hand, there’s an incredibly massive, overwhelming porn culture which all young people have some experience of. And on the other hand, you have this culture of horrific stories of abuse. There are very few positive messages about sex, and that’s really worrying,” Sexton said.

Also in the podcast, sexual intimacy therapist and Irish Times advice columnist Trish Murphy discussed common sex problems she encounters in her practice and what people can do about them.

The Women’s Podcast question of the week is: Are you making New Years resolutions? If so, what are they? If not, why not?

Listeners are invited to tweet their answers to the question of the week @ITWomensPodcast, post to our Facebook page or email thewomenspodcast@irishtimes.com.

Individual episodes of the podcast are available on Soundcloud, iTunes, Stitcher and on irishtimes.com.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Vixen…Interview with a True Burlesque Diva

by RJ Newellin LOVE

Are you looking to improve your confidence, both in and out of the bedroom? Look no further than your own boudoir. Burlesque is more than just the tease; it is an attitude of confidence that can positively impact every area of life. There is a body-positive revolution brewing; and today, we meet a British bombshell who is setting the west coast ablaze with it.

Prepare to meet your next girl crush.

The Performer: Vixen Deville is an other-worldly sex goddess: she swallows fire, walks on glass, defies gravity with aerial hoops, and tantalizes audiences with her curves. Since leaving London for Los Angeles, Vixen has been blowing Hollywood minds with her saucy personality and sensuous feats of daring.

The Person: Cat LaCohie is a force of nature with a big mission. She lives to awaken the power in others, by teaching women (and men) to embrace their wildness and express their sensuality through Burlesque.

I recently got the chance to sit down for a no-holds-barred interview with Cat. In this intimate conversation, she reveals the lessons she has learned. In Part 1 of the following Q&A, Cat LaCohie tells us how it all went down. In Part 2, Vixen shares exclusive tips on how you can harness your own feminine power.

Part 1:

The Birth of Vixen

How did Vixen come to be?

“Originally, Vixen was everything I wanted to be, but wasn’t in real life. Growing up, I was overweight and unpopular. I hated giving presentations at school. But by the age of 9 or 10, I fell in love with acting…and I identified with strong characters, like Scarlet from Gone With The Wind. I wanted to be her, wearing corsets and dresses and everything. I became more comfortable being someone else. As a character, you can say whatever you want with no personal consequences – because they all assume you’re pretending.”

Who is Vixen, now?

“Looking back on it, I realize that if I had the confidence at the beginning, there would have been no need for a character. The stage was a safe space to express my honest thoughts. Vixen DeVille was me. When I feel powerful and sexy and shameless as Vixen, I am embracing my vulnerability and power as Cat. Vixen and I are very similar.”

I feel like everyone has a brazen alter-ego inside of them. What are the benefits of embracing this?

“As myself, I have become more confident in certain situations because I realize I’m not being judged for what I say anymore. If I say something a bit off the cuff, a bit more tongue in cheek, people like me for it. People like me for not giving a shit. You don’t have to ‘fit in’ or guess what people are expecting you to be. People love the quirkiness and weirdness that is you.”

Does Vixen also play a part in the bedroom?

“I think people expect me to be really adventurous and dominant in the bedroom, because of the persona. And Vixen is very domineering…all leather and corsets and all that. But I’m not even into that. It’s like how Halloween comes once a year and you have an excuse to dress how you’ve always wanted… Now that I play Vixen on a weekly basis, I don’t need that outlet anymore.

“In the bedroom, having a connection with somebody is way more important than sex toys or bondage or anything. It can be fun, but it shouldn’t be everything. If someone feels the need to do this with somebody, they might be avoiding connection. Great sex means simply being in tune with each other. Everything else is just bells and whistles. I personally like being dominated a little bit. It’s a give and take, really.”

So while you and Vixen are very similar in life, does it bother you when people expect a certain thing in bed?

“Just because I dress a certain way, or listen to a certain type of music, or behave a certain way onstage…I’m not that way in bed. Marilyn Manson doesn’t go around killing children. You like to watch horror films, but you’re not an axe murderer.

Vixen does not discriminate when flirting with her audience. How do people respond?

“Onstage, I flirt with men and women absolutely equally. Men really like Vixen, but women find themselves attracted, too. Last night I did an act where I brought a woman onstage with me.

“People tend to over-think their sexuality to the point of shame. The stage is very freeing…if I didn’t have Vixen to speak through, I might not have had a chance to explore my sexuality. The audience jumps right in. It’s like group therapy!”

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Safer Sex …You Can Have It.

by zfortadminin Sex

Condoms and communication make sex so much safer. Safer sex is a general term used to describe methods for reducing the chance that you will spread or catch sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also known as sexually transmitted infections or STIs).

Safer sex is a general term used to describe methods for reducing the chance that you will spread or catch sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also known as sexually transmitted infections or STIs). The idea is that with a few simple tools and strategies, you can increase safety without sacrificing your sex life.

Use condoms

The first and best line of defense is to use a latex barrier whenever you have sex (if you have a latex allergy, use polyurethane instead). That means using a condom on the penis or on a sex toy; latex gloves on your hands; and when engaging in oral sex, dental dams or plastic wrap to cover the anus or vagina.

Get tested for HIV and other STDs

Knowing your own status is the only way to approach the next point honestly.

Communicate

Safer sex also involves talking with your partner, discussing activities and risks and making educated choices together. Of course, sex raises a number of other questions. Do you trust your partner? How do you get a guy to use a condom if he refuses to do so? What if you are suspicious that your partner is not being monogamous?

Some people choose to avoid risky activities completely or find ways to reduce the complications associated with them—although this strategy still requires honesty, communication, and STD testing.

Be monogamous or abstinent

Total abstinence is the only 100% effective safe sex method; it’s just not that realistic for most people. Next in line is a long-term monogamous relationship in which both partners know their status to be negative for STDs (itself requiring testing and honest communication), and both stay true to the monogamous ideal.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

5 Myths That Are Holding Back Your Sex Life

by zfortadminin Sex

After reading through this list, you may be on your way to a better sex life.

Plenty of experienced guys think they know everything about sex, but do they really? Many accept stories about their friend’s sister’s cousin as fact without question. Stories have a way of growing more exaggerated over time, though, making it difficult to judge what’s truth and what’s a complete fabrication. Even a long list of partners is no way to guarantee knowledge.

We’re on a mission to put the truth back into getting it on, so we’re busting five myths you’ve probably heard a thousand times. Surprisingly, the facts offer a lot of good news. After reading through this list, you may be on your way to a better sex life.

1. Bigger is better

Most guys have heard a few people say size doesn’t matter, though very few seem to believe it. When it comes right down to it, you’re probably a lot more concerned about the ampleness of your member than your partner is. A recent survey of more than 1,000 people from Cosmopolitan.com found 89% of respondents weren’t concerned with their partner’s penis size. And some evidence suggests it has more to do with proportion than actual size.

The real takeaway is you should know how to work with what you’ve been given. Relationship expert and author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love, Deborah Anapol, penned a piece in Psychology Today that indicated a smaller size can actually be an advantage. “A smaller penis is often easier to maneuver inside the vagina, and may motivate the man to explore a variety of ways to please his lover,” she said.

2. It’s all downhill after you turn 40

Most of us reach our peak physical fitness sometime in our 20s. This includes a combination of endurance, strength, and flexibility, all important building blocks for a successful romp in the sheets, right? Maybe not. Researchers from the University of Gothenburg found 62% of women and 71% of men over the age of 70 reported feeling very satisfied with their sex lives. Maybe even more important is the fact these percentages have substantially increased since the 1970s.

Some of this may be due to a stronger relationship. Melanie Davis, a certified sexual educator (CSE), told Men’s Health, “There’s less emphasis on quick orgasms and more focus on sensuality, creativity, and emotional connection.” Basically, it has a lot more to do with the person than the specific sensation.

Older individuals also tend to have a fewer sexual hangups. Many young people find it hard to speak up during intercourse, but if you don’t tell your partner what you want, it’s unlikely they’ll just figure it out. Dr. Carmella Sebastian, an expert in women’s wellness and sexuality, told WebMD she didn’t experience multiple orgasms until after she’d had two children. She attributed it to increased confidence that allowed her to start asking for what she really wanted in the bedroom.

3. Men care more about sex than women do

We’ve all heard it before: Men think about sex every seven seconds. No one has been able to verify this statistic, but it’s widely accepted as truth or at least as mostly true. The other supposed truth is that women fall far behind when it comes to thinking about a romp in the sheets. According to a 2011 study from Ohio State University, men think about sex 19 times per day while women average 10 per day. Still more research suggests women may actually have a greater craving for bedroom time than men. One recent survey found 53.2% of females want more sex in their relationships.

Keep in mind, it’s the individual that matters most. Some people naturally have higher sex drives than others, regardless of gender. One story from The Huffington Post featured 13 females who craved far more sexual intimacy than their partners.

4. Great sex is effortless

Our notions of sex and how it should unfold are informed a little too much by pop culture. Things happen so effortlessly onscreen, but that’s only because 15 minutes of awkward conversation and fumbling doesn’t make for good TV. As AskMen pointed out, “the human body doesn’t come with an instruction manual.” Each person is different and just because one partner liked a particular move doesn’t mean your next one will. Honest communication is the best way to find your bedroom groove, and it may take a few times to get there.

There’s also no guarantee a great bedroom session will just happen. Rachel Hills, author of The Sex Myth, told New York Post spontaneity is more likely at the beginning of a relationship. Later on, it usually takes more of an effort. Scheduling time for sex might sound ridiculous, but it’s a good way to take the pressure off both you and your partner.

5. Monogamy only comes naturally to women

Men have unfairly been labeled as players, and once again, it’s probably been influenced by movies and TV shows. The Atlantic highlighted a 2013 book by journalist Daniel Bergner called What Do Women Want?, which suggested females may actually be less inclined to monogamy than males. More recently, a study published in Biology Letters found all people, rather than a specific gender, either tend towards monogamy or polygamy.

Once again, communication is key. You and your partner should both be honest about what it is you’re looking for. If one is seeking a spouse while the other just wants to have fun, you’re both in for a messy ending.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

What You Seek Is Seeking You… Make LOVE Daily

by Jo Millerin LOVE

“What you seek is seeking you” – Rumi.

It is often said that the way we can get closest to feeling complete, and being whole, enough; is by choosing LOVE.  I have to admit; that this is a concept I so struggled with in my past.  I grew up on a healthy diet of fear.  Fear of what others may think (I’m British, so this is a national dilemma for my people).  Fear of being too much; too happy, too shiny, too chatty, too honest.  And fear of not being enough; not fast enough for the team, not creative enough for art, not coordinated enough for dance, not good enough to make choir, or, as it turned out, not enough to make my father stay.

I set out to seek LOVE and acceptance in the world as a way to compensate for my self-perceived flaws.  I traveled the globe, looking for LOVE and finding what I had defined as LOVE in a multitude of experiences, yet frequently managing to come up short.  I had great jobs, created a great business.  I set up lovely homes and met amazing people.  I fell in LOVE and married a man.  But my subconscious fears of not being enough was mirrored back to me by my mate, and I would ultimately become someone else’s “more” to compensate for their “less”.  We both fell short.  From the outside looking in, you might think I was running a pretty awesome LOVE story, but my sense of dread was omnipresent and the burden of being responsible for another’s happiness had drained my heart to the point of collapse.  It wasn’t until I was living the terrifying day-to-day reality with a partner who looked anywhere and everywhere outside of themselves to feel good inside, that I realized this LOVE story was missing one critical character; its’ heroine.  For in the act of seeking LOVE, I had lost my true Self.  I had done a spectacular job of giving to others, but not to my Self, and the experience had left me beyond exhausted and numb.

In times of adversity, there is much gold to be mined.  And buried amongst the rubble of my broken heart, marriage and family; lay the shiniest, most radiant, yet simplest truth of all.  That LOVE began with loving me.  When I began to choose LOVE for my Self, my life would be forever changed.  And I would finally feel complete, whole and enough.

The compassion of my truth led me to the understanding that I was in need of redefining my relationship with LOVE and to begin living the answers to my questions.

Why am I here?  To learn how to LOVE, and be Loved.

What makes the world a better place to live in?  LOVE.

What am I seeking? LOVE.

What could we all use more of?  LOVE.

What can I give and never run out of?  LOVE.

What’s the language of the Universe? LOVE.

What connects us all?  LOVE.

What is the answer to all my questions?  LOVE.

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Perfect Bedroom Tips for Valentine’s

by zfortadminin Sex

Is your bedroom Valentine’s Day ready?

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and we’ve already given you plenty of ideas for gifts for your sweetheart, ways to decorate your home and adorable cards to send to your loved-ones in the mail. But let’s get down to business. Is your bedroom Valentine’s Day ready?

We spoke with a renowned sex coach, Amy Levine of Ignite Your Pleasure to get sexy bedroom ideas and tips to make a few simple changes so this space is a scene for red hot romance.

Amy Levine: Often the bedroom can be a catch-all of clutter, rather than a sensual haven. Look around your room and take note of the sights that cause you to be stressed out, overwhelmed or anxious, and remove them.

Levine also listed the 5 common culprits that turn out to be sources of “sexual sabotage.”

Clothing – This includes both dirty and clean laundry. Put clean clothes away in your closet and dirty clothes in the hamper as soon as you take them off (except the items you strip off in the heat of the moment as you’re getting it on).

Papers and Books – Move any bills that need to be paid, other paperwork, and books that you haven’t had time to read to another room. They don’t belong in your bedroom as they serve as reminders of to-dos, and can prevent you from getting in the mood.

Technology – A computer, TV, cell phone or tablet charging on your nightstand are all distractions.

Photos – Do you really want to look at a photo of family members when you’re having sex? Probably not. Instead, angle these photos away from the bed, or move them to the living room.

Children’s Toys – While your kids may play in your room at times, move their things to their own bedroom or playroom.

Basically, if an item is not in sync with making you feel sexy or allowing you to have a great night’s sleep, then get it out of your bedroom!

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Why Sex Can Be More Fun In Winter

by zfortadminin Sex

…apart from the obvious benefits of having more sex, what are some other big benefits of getting naked more often when it’s cold outside?

Just like our moods change with the transition from one season to another, so do our sex drives. In fact, many experts say couples tend to have more sex in the wintertime than other months, both based on desire, availability, and well, boredom (cabin fever, anyone?). Psychotherapist Kelley Kitley says during the Winter, couples have fewer distractions that keep them from getting it on. “During the Winter months you spend more time with your partner, and generally speaking, sex improves the quality of a relationship: women report they tend to feel emotionally closer to their partners after sex and men are more likely to be more complimentary or affectionate to their female counterparts after sexual intimacy,” Kitley explained.

But apart from the obvious benefits of having more sex, what are some other big benefits of getting naked more often when it’s cold outside? Here, experts give you the surprising scoop on the perks of having sex when it’s cold.

1. Sex Releases Endorphins

If you suffer from any of the symptoms of seasonal depression — lack of interest in doing things you normally love, depressed for no reason, sleeping more — combat those blues with a romp (or two!). “Sex counts as exercise. It releases endorphins that make people feel happier, which in turn can contribute to a better-quality relationship,” Kitley said. So if you can’t make it to the gym — or the mere thought of putting on four layers to walk 10 blocks seems daunting — get in your sweat sesh at home with your, um, favorite trainer.

2. Sex Boosts Your Immunity

While an orgasm can’t replace the flu shot, it can give your body a great defensive system against getting sick. Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, host of Playboy TV’s Swing and author of The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love, says having sex boosts your immune system. According to one study, salivary levels of immunoglobulin A (which has the potential to ward off the common cold/flu) are significantly higher in those who have sex three or more times per week.

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Inventive Moments to Have Sex When You Have a 6 Month Old

by Amy Albertin Sex

Here are my three favorite ideas I’ve gathered about how to get that nookie when your kids aren’t looking!

My husband and I have a six-month-old baby. We love the crap out of this kid. She’s delightful and hilarious and for all intents and purposes, a great baby. However, she is, and I feel no remorse in calling her this, the ultimate cock block.

As two working adult comedians it’s hard enough to find time for sex even without this beautiful bundle of distraction, but with a kid it’s almost impossible! I quickly discovered as I asked around to our other be-babied friends, that we were certainly not alone in this sexual conundrum. So here are my three favorite ideas I’ve gathered about how to get that bootie when your kids aren’t looking!

The first is what I like to call “nap time nookie”. This can get tricky as some parents, ourselves included, only have one bedroom which usually means throwing down on the couch (though my husband is 6’4”, so it’s not always comfortable), or as one hilarious parent referred to it, “12 minutes on the den sofa after they’ve gone down”. Sometimes this attempt can get dangerous if you’re trying to squeeze in a few moments to yourselves. You see babies, at least mine, are born with excellent timing. They can sense your unbridled, adult-time happiness so their eyes spring open and they start squealing for your attention, thinking “oh no Mommy, this is not the time to enjoy yourself, it’s time for you to sing to me and let me breast feed until your boobs look like two tube socks filled with sand!” Luckily I’m not alone in this experience, and as one mom revealed she and her husband decided to take advantage of nap time and even though their baby had awakened, they let the little one cry for a few minutes and try to fall back asleep on her own for a bit. This would’ve worked had their neighbor not heard the baby and burst into the apartment to let them know she was up! Thank you neighbor! We know! And also how the fuck did you get in here? Did you make a key for yourself? We’re moving for sure.

Anyway, the moral of this story is, when the kids go down, you can also.

Another tried and true method is utilizing the babysitter. I mean, you’re paying them so why not add a few moments onto your grocery run with hooking up in your car, or as another mommy friend of mine told me, doing their “taxes” in the garage office. Taxes can be complicated, what with all those deductions and donations and what-not, so this seems like something the sitter may have to stick around for a couple times this month. And next…actually, it turns out we’re filing late this year! Maybe we should pencil you in for a few times this week alone! This story also made me realize I now know the true meaning behind product “TurboTax”.

Finally, try referring to the letter of the day, which will always be S, as in Sesame Street. My baby is mesmerized by this magical show, which gives me and her dad approximately five minutes to go the bedroom and jump all over each other. It’s a very efficient five minutes indeed. Some parents may be against TV for their babies, but I justify it by telling myself Sesame Street is educational, adorable, teaches kindness, has fabulous musical numbers, and most importantly enough stimuli to distract even the most active six month old.

The point is, keeping the romance in your relationship can be challenging enough, but taking time, even a very productive five minutes, can keep your partnership strong and full of life!

Why Young Women Are Finally Being Taught Sex Must Be Pleasing

by zfortadminin Sex

An education resource that teaches girls and boys that sexual intimacy should be pleasurable shouldn’t be revolutionary in 2016 – but it is.

Our friend Danielle narrated the experience of losing her virginity to us all on the bus.

Shedding oneself of the virginity burden had developed into a competition among our gang of spindly 16-year-old girls and there was now something of a ritual post-match analysis. Details were demanded to educate the uninitiated, as well as to provide a means of comparison for everyone else. “How did it feel?” enquired someone hanging over their bus seat, “what was it like?”

Danielle grimaced, in consideration. “Like pushing a bruise,” she concluded, finding a dark bruise on her thigh, and poking the tips of two fingers in it, wincing, to demonstrate.

More than 20 years later, the image of the bruise, the fingers and the wince yet sears. I recalled it when reading about a new sex education resource that’s being launched in Australia. Developed at La Trobe University, the resource for school teachers contains material for guided class discussions, quizzes, lots of information as well as wry animated videos as well as the revolutionary instruction that sexual intimacy should be … pleasurable. How radical!

At school, I sat through many a sex-ed class rolling condoms on carrots, one awkward lunchtime watching two girls in my year do a clothed demonstration of what they got up to with some butchers’ apprentices and way too many bus-ride confessions with the likes of Danielle to have reasonable expectations that first-time sex could be pleasant.

My own first time resembled being staked to the ground by a falling piano with sharp elbows and drool. I don’t blame the boy for his sexual narcissism – if it had not been for SBS movies, I’d have had little to encourage me that the performance of the act, or its enjoyability, could be any different. The issue at the time was that I didn’t even have a language to articulate my own desires, let alone a context that encouraged any communication to take place beyond a “yes”.

My experience, of course, was many years ago, and yet it says much that it’s more than two entire decades later that the La Trobe resource is being praised in Australia for its fresh take on sex ed. The teaching of sexuality to young people by the culture beyond the classroom rarely clarifies the precise mechanics of pleasure – particularly the pleasure of young women – and its messages are confusing and archaic.

Films like the well-received Sexy Baby, from 2012, document the extraordinary contemporary cultural pressure applied to women to perform sexual attractiveness and availability. And last year sex researcher Emily Nagoski received due critical praise for her scientific claim that “stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it” in her book Come As You Are.

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Why Do You Really Have Sexual Experiences?

by zfortadminin Sex

Sex isn’t just something we humans occasionally think about. Sex is as important to human beings as the need to sleep, eat and live.

In today’s mainstream American culture, individuals think about sex, fantasize about sex, have sex, and spend an enormous amount of time and energy in the pursuit of sex. Why do we do all this?

First what is sex? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, sex is defined as “physical activity in which people touch each others’ bodies, kiss each other, etc.: physical activity that is related to and often includes sexual intercourse.” Sexuality consists of values, society, learned messages and biology.

Kristen Mark, an assistant professor of Health Promotion and the director of the Sexual Health Promotion Lab at UK, has spent time and energy into researching one of the most common questions regarding sexuality: why do we have sex? From her research, Mark has compiled a list of 237 reasons for why men and women have sex.

The top 10 reasons women reported having sex were 1. Physical pleasure, 2. Feels good, 3. Show affection, 4. Express love, 5. Sexually aroused/wanted release, 6. Felt “horny,” 7. It’s fun, 8. In love, 9. Swept up in heat of moment, and 10. Please partner.

The top 10 reasons men reported having sex were: 1. Attraction, 2. Feels good, 3. Physical pleasure, 4. It’s fun, 5. Show affection, 6. Sexually aroused/wanted release, 7. “Felt horny,” 8. Expression of love, 9. Orgasm, and 10. Please partner.

These lists find that men and women are not that different when it comes to why they have sex. Results from the study found that 8 of the top 10 and 20 of the top 25 reasons men and women have sex were similar, and that the top 3 reasons for both sexes to engage in sex had nothing to do with arousal or love; the top 3 reason were based on attraction and pleasure.

Similarities were seen in the priority given by both men and women in the following areas: “horniness” (number 7 for both men and women), expressing love (number 5 for women and number 8 for men), and feeling closeness and intimacy (number 12 for women and number 14 for men).

However, men and women are not the exact same when it comes to sex. In Mark’s results, the top 10 biggest differences between men and women for having sex were:

1. Person wore revealing clothes, 2. Wanted to feel more masculine, 3. Wanted to relieve “blue balls,” (pain caused by prolonged sexual arousal in males without ejaculation) 4. Wanted to feel feminine, 5. The person had a desirable body, 6. The person was available, 7. The person’s appearance was arousing, 8. It’s fun, 9. Wanted to have an orgasm, and 10. The opportunity presented itself.

When thinking about the complexities of sex, consider this quote from sexuality expert Lonnie Barbach, “Sex is perfectly natural. However sex is not naturally perfect.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How to Stay Fit with Good Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

It’s more enjoyable than hitting the treadmill – and there are many documented health benefits. But is making love really an alternative to aerobic exercise?

Research has revealed that sex, which is rated as moderately intense exercise, uses up 4.2 calories in men a minute and 3.1 in women. The study, published in the American journal PLOS ONE, took 21 young couples and used a SenseWear armband to measure the effects of moderate exercise on a treadmill, compared with sex. Sex took on average 24.7 minutes, with men using up 101 calories and women using 70. Almost everyone in the study found the sex more enjoyable than the treadmill. So shouldn’t you hang up your running shoes and try “sexercise” instead?

The solution

Sex is credited with having many other health benefits. They’re not all scientifically proven because it’s difficult for researchers to measure the effects of sex on different health outcomes in a standardised way. Most research is also of heterosexual sex. But claims include reductions in heart disease and diabetes and improvements in sleep, appearance and immunity.

Sex is also credited with reducing period cramps and chronic pain – although both would put many people off having it. Saying “not tonight, I’ve got a headache” may also not be a medically valid reason for refusing: more than one study shows that it might relieve headaches, although it’s less reliable than tablets.

Sex is associated with promoting wellbeing – and you don’t even need a partner –a paper in 1986 found that older men and women who masturbated had reduced rates of depression.

Sex may also reduce stress – a small study looking at the relationship between sex in the two-week period before stressful events found that people who had had intercourse showed the smallest rise in blood pressure when dealing with these events.

Sexual activity has also been associated with longevity – a study in the BMJ conducted in south Wales that followed 918 men aged between 49-59 for 10 years found that those who had been having two or more orgasms a week had 50% lower mortality rates. The authors of the study cite other research suggesting that quality of sex is important in realising the health benefits.

But this latest study really shows that sex uses only a few calories – the treadmill used about three times as many. The sex was also likely to be more energetic than usual because people knew they were being monitored.

Sex is an indicator of good health as well as contributing to it. But the research generally suggests more is not necessarily better and that quality is what matters.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article