Find out what happened when these three couples said yes to sex every night

It’s not uncommon for a couple to have mismatched libidos. But what would happen if you and your partner just said “yes” to sex every night? These three couples tried just that for four weeks.

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12 Special Qualities A Woman Has That Mean You Should Never Let Her Go

Every once in a while – on very rare occasions – we meet the woman of our dreams. It’s always unexpected and almost never at a convenient point in our lives, but she appears nonetheless and changes your life forever.

The dynamics between man and woman have been gradually changing for the past few decades, but the essence of the partnership basically remains the same.

We are designed by nature in a way that allows two such opposites to join and make a whole. Finding your other half is a journey of its own – usually a grueling one at that.

If you are lucky enough to find that woman, that rare sunflower growing on a barren desert, then do right by yourself and hold on to her as tightly as you can – never, ever let her go.

Not all of us were so wise when we met the loves of our lives… and believe me when I say that we’re regretting it. If she has any combination of these 12 qualities then you should never let her go:

1. She’s smarter than you.

Every man needs a smarter woman to help him get through life in one piece. They say that behind every great man is a greater woman – they aren’t lying. Without woman, man is little more than an ego-trip.

Enter a smarter woman into his life and suddenly that ego has a purpose, a direction, and the wisdom not to screw everything up.

2. She’s beautiful.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder – as long as you find her to be incredibly beautiful, according to your definition, then she is worth holding on to.

I feel that these days we have those that put too much emphasis on beauty and then those that are rebelling against the concept and giving little to no importance to beauty.

Beauty is something that has been reveled upon since humans had eyes; it’s not something that we should be ashamed of, but rather something we should learn to appreciate properly.

3. She’s kind and nurturing.

Good people are kind people. If she isn’t kind then she isn’t worthy of taking up a part of your life. Being a woman, being nurturing is very important as well. Some people may not want children.

In some relationships the man may be more nurturing than the woman. Nevertheless, women are born with/develop maternal instincts with age. If you wish to one day start a family then you want to be sure you found a woman who wants to be, and is suited to become, a mother.

Winter couple hugging

4. She’s vivacious.

Life gets difficult from time to time. It can get boring and monotonous just as well.

Women weren’t created to entertain men – if anything, it’s probably the other way around – but having a woman who is lively, energetic and hungry for adventure will add a dynamic to our life that will only make you happier.

5. She loves you with all her heart.

This is, by far, the most important quality any woman can have. When a woman loves you she loves you with her entire soul. It’s not the same sort of love that men experience – men always were and always will be more egocentric than women.

Women, on the other hand, have the uncanny ability to devote themselves entirely to the person(s) they love. If you find a woman that truly loves you then you found the greatest gift in the universe.

6. She’s willing to make compromises.

People are stubborn – both male and female alike. We like things the way that we like them and aren’t especially open to making changes we don’t deem necessary to make. However, relationships require making compromises.

It’s just the way things have to work if you want them to work. Finding a woman who will make compromises is only half the battle, however. You’re going to have to make them just as well.

7. She feels like home.

Being in love, deeply in love, is like finding your place in the world, your home, for the first time in your life. It’s knowing that you are exactly where you ought to be and that there is nowhere in the world you’d rather be.

If you look into her eyes and see your soul reflected in them, then you’re home. Don’t ever leave.

8. She is more than happy to tell you when you’re wrong.

Every man – and I mean every man – needs a woman who will call him out on his sh*t. Guys have an uncanny ability to make poor decisions and do stupid things.

Finding a woman who will keep you on track and tell you when you’re wrong can very well make or break your life.

9. She is strong, but feminine.

All people have a slightly different taste for the women they are attracted to – but they are all a combination of strength and femininity. A strong woman is a partner every man needs.

A feminine woman is… well, a woman. The two aren’t opposites. In fact, they are often one and the same – when found in a woman that knows how to hold her ground and be proud of who she is.

Summer couple holding hands at sunset on beach. Romantic young c

10. She’s passionate.

A life filled with passion is a life worth living. But living a life of passion alone is basically impossible. Passion exists between two living things – usually, in some way or another, between two individuals.

The beauty of passion is that it’s rather contagious. It’s the world’s most revered pathogen.

11. She’s driven.

I understand that some men want women to be stay-at-home wives. I also understand that there are plenty of women who want the very same. This sort of woman isn’t for me, but clearly some people are looking for just this.

Nevertheless, you still want a woman that is driven. If she wants to stay at home, cook, clean, and take care of the children, then make sure she’s the kind of woman that wants to be the best stay-at-home mom she could possibly be. Without drive, there is no purpose.

12. She means the world to you.

Sometimes we love a person beyond imagination and we aren’t sure why. To be truthful, you don’t really need a reason. If you love her and can’t imagine your life without her, then don’t allow yourself to lose her.

If she means that much to you, then understand that she means that much to you. Too often people don’t realize what the other person means to them until they lose them. We always think that there will be another chance, that it’s possible that the two of you will one day reconnect.

Maybe. But the opposite is also true. You may have lost her forever. You may suffer for years and years because you let go of the most important thing in your life. Don’t take the risk.

Curated by Karinna

Original Article


How to Turn Her On With a Sensual Massage

You know that feeling you get at the end of a long week where your whole body is just exhausted? What if we told you there was a way to fix that AND get intimate with your partner? Sensual massage is a great idea for couples looking to unwind while also getting a little sexy. In these 7 easy steps, you’ll get rid of her knots while getting her in the mood for love!

Step 1: Set the scene
Set the scene for her full body sensual massage by finding just the right spot and putting sexy music on the sound system.

Step 2: Warm things up
Light some candles and warm a bottle of massage oil in a bowl of hot water. Make sure your hands are warm, too!

Step 3: Begin the massage
Invite her to lie face down. Straddle her, rub a few drops of oil between your hands, and begin massaging her shoulders. Use the flat of your hand, fingers pressed together, to give even strokes.

If her shoulders are tight, loosen them by rubbing them with one of your elbows.

Step 4: Move back down
Move down to her feet, giving each one a good rub before working back up her legs to her thighs.

Lightly trace a triangle on each inner thigh, from a few inches below her pubic bone to the inside of her knee. This is an erogenous zone.

Step 5: Stroke her bottom
Stroke her butt, using your thumb to gently massage the sacrum, the area just above the crease of her buttocks — a spot that will really turn her on.

Step 6: Turn her over
Turn her over, pour a few drops of oil on her stomach, and gently stroke her belly, moving up toward her breasts.

Step 7: Give her a happy ending
Now that you’ve turned her on, give her a happy ending. With any luck, she’ll return the favor.

Did You Know?
Massage soothes people by lowering levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Domestic Relief

On the eve of Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend sent me a message containing those magical words that every woman longs to hear: ‘don’t worry love, I’ve already got the milk.’

Simple words. Romantic words. Words akin to: ‘you just stay in bed’ and ‘but I love putting the seat down’ and ‘here’s an idea, why don’t I do both our tax returns’. (I’ve never had to do a tax return, but can imagine that someone offering to do it for me would feel like the most solicitous of marriage proposals.)

When I got this text I was driving home through London traffic having just completed a gruelling 12-hour shift. The thought of stopping to buy milk had been tormenting me ever since I noticed we were out first thing this morning. In the intervening hours I had decided that my boyfriend never bought milk, or bread, or did anything around the house for that matter, and that I might as well just end it (and him) (and me while I was at it) right now, because what future could we possibly have together?  In fact, he’d already got the milk. And so our relationship was saved.

We didn’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day, but as good fortune would have it, the boy chose this of all days to clean the bathroom (N.B. it was definitely his turn). I found him kneeling over the bathtub wearing nothing but marigolds and a pair of long johns, and was overcome with desire. Refreshed after a solid night’s sleep, I interrupted him mid-scrub and lured him back to bed, where we spent a lazy morning making each other feel 100% loved. Happy February 14!

Couple drinking champagne in bathtub.

Combined, these experiences made me feel as though I’d had the most romantic Valentine’s Day of my life. From this, you might infer that I have unusually low standards. Not so. In the past, I’ve been whisked off to Barcelona, punted down the River Cam (not a euphemism), and given the entire Sex and the City Box Set, a romantic gift if only for the personal sacrifice it represented. But to this tired midwife, my boyfriend’s lightening of the domestic load constituted the greatest gift of all.

I discussed this with my big sister who knows everything and is always right. She agreed it’s good to have a partner who is handy around the house. ‘But,’ she added, ‘if there are things they can’t do, you can always remove the issue altogether’. Here, she was talking about washing up; specifically, her husband’s inability to do it. Throughout the early, impoverished years of their relationship, his bad washing up was an endless sticking point. Then, they hit the big time (i.e. qualified as teachers) and could afford a dishwasher. Today, thanks to this common household appliance, happiness reigns: while terrible at washing up, the husband is a mean stacker. Vive la domestic revolution!

For the busy grown up, it is undoubtedly a treat to have one less thing to do. But, as far as those squishy love feelings go, it’s about so much more than that. In my experience, the nurturing love that – if we’re lucky – we receive from our parents comes along rarely in a romantic form. It is a great thing to be with someone who can put your needs before their own; it is joyous thing to be with someone who actually seems to enjoy doing it.

young couple painting baby nursery in new home pink

My boyfriend is far from perfect (he has an uncanny knack of getting rubber gloves wet on the inside), and he is more than capable of looking out for himself. But on a good day, through a multitude of gestures, he makes me feel infinitely cared for. This makes me want to care for him in return. In this way, we waste little energy on resentment.

In my 20s, love was an ego-fuelled rollercoaster ride of fulfilled then thwarted wants. In my 30s, it is a coffee pressed into my hand made with milk that I didn’t have to buy. And I’m fine with that.

Written by Midwife X


Reasons to Have More Sex

Ok, you don’t really need reasons, but we’ve got a few anyway! Sex isn’t just pleasurable, there are numerous physical and mental health benefits that come with it. So what are you waiting for? Follow these instructions and get busy!

9 Wordless Ways Someone Says, “I Love You”

Longing to hear, “I love you” from someone special? Try watching his or her body language instead. Some 60 to 90 percent of the meaning of our communication is delivered nonverbally — and in romantic situations, this jumps to 99 percent, says anthropologist David Givens, director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies in Spokane, Washington, and author of Love Signals.

“When it comes to emotions, our bodies do the talking more than words,” Givens says.

Here are nine surprising (and wordless) ways the body telegraphs, “I love you.”

Love sign #1: Shoulder rolls or shrugs

Who knew the shoulders were one of the more expressive parts of the body? Thanks to their rounded shape, smooth skin, and ability to move — shrugging, lifting, rolling — the shoulders are able to convey emotional nuances remarkably well, Givens says. Rolling a shoulder, in particular, reads as a gesture of affection or flirtatiousness.

Unlike some other large muscles, the upper trapezius has special “gut reactive” visceral nerves that are sensitive to your emotions. (Think about how your shoulders sag in defeat and shake when you cry.) The biceps, as a contrasting example, rely on somatic nerves, which help those muscles do intentional tasks, like lift weights. “The biceps aren’t very emotionally expressive,” Givens notes.

(Ladies, try a sleeveless top on that big date to help your shoulders do the talking.)

Love sign #2: Mirroring your actions

You splay your right fingers around your coffee cup; so does he. You take a sip; he takes a sip. Anthropologists call this synchrony of actions “isopraxism” (iso being Greek for “same” andpraxism meaning “behavior”). Couples tend to do this unconsciously as they fall in love; their bodies can’t help themselves.

Mirroring behaviors are a strong element in the courtship rituals of all animals that use courtship, Givens says. A female mallard hen, for example, swims close to her male target and bobs her heads in the water until he copies her, and they do this back and forth until they mate. The behavior demonstrates that neither is threatening to the other, allowing them to get closer.

“The more alike you are, the more you like each other,” Givens says. “It strengthens your bond.”

Side view of passionate young couple embracing in bedroom

Love sign #3: Locked eyes

If an object of attraction gazes deep into your eyes, your heart just may skip a beat. Eye contact is a potent emotional link — in ordinary circumstances, both parties feel a strong urge to break a gaze after three seconds. (People make less eye contact when they dislike each other, feel intimidated, or disagree.)

But if you like someone, you tend to hold the gaze for an extra few beats without even being aware of it. This says, “I’m really, really interested in you.”

Like most of the nonverbal communications that express love to other adults, the tendency to gaze long and hard at a beloved is rooted in the caring ways that parents treat children, Givens says. Mothers tend to gaze longer at babies than adults because they’re so interested in them and need to be attentive to them; in this way we grow up associating a long gaze with love.

Love sign #4: Sitting close by

Does your loved one move in close to you — maybe your hips touch when you sit side by side, or your knees knock into his or hers when you sit across from each other?

“Reducing the distance between you and the other person is a strong way our bodies send a message of love,” says Jamie Comstock, a professor of communication at Butler University in Indianapolis.

Someone in love almost can’t help the urge to be physically near his or her object of affection. When you’re drawn to someone, it’s almost literal: Often the body knows the attraction before any words of love have been exchanged, Comstock says.

Love sign #5: Head tilts

When you’re talking, watch your listener. Does he or she cock his or her head, either to the left or right? In a friendship, a tilted head fosters rapport. In courtship, it reads as flirtatiousness.

Leaning the head toward the shoulder connotes harmlessness and submissiveness, the Center for Nonverbal Studies’ David Givens says, which makes the relationship “softer.” As with the shoulder muscles, the muscles involved in tilting the head are controlled by visceral nerves, which are equipped to reflect emotion. A tilted head is a gesture that adds warmth and immediacy to the dialogue between you. Subtle? Yes. But like many aspects of body language, these cues speak volumes about the relationship.

Sexy and romantic couple wearing lingerie with the man embracing

Love sign #6: A fingertip caress

Being lightly, casually touched — on your shoulder, your forearm, the back of your neck, a little side hug — instantly registers in the brain as warmth and reassurance.

The emotional centers of the brain register touch more quickly than messages that come through the language center, Givens says. The touch doesn’t have to be long to register as warm and reassuring. (This kind of touch is different from having breasts or genitals touched in a nonsexual situation, which sends a confusing message rather than a simple “I love you.”)

“The presence of touch is a sign of affection because it sends a message of inclusion: I want to be closer to you,” says Butler University’s Jamie Comstock. “You can say, ‘I love you’ 30 times a day, but if you only touch the person minimally — rarely hug, kiss, or show appropriate physical affection — that ‘I love you’ will ring pretty hollow to him or her,” she says.

Best of all, touching is a shared message: “The fingertips are extremely sensitive to touch, so you get a good message right back,” Givens says.

Love sign #7: Rapid eye blinking

Is she batting her eyelashes at you? Does he look especially vulnerable and cute — because he’s blinking? The normal rate of eye blinking in humans is 20 times a minute. Faster blinking indicates emotional stress — such as when the person is attracted.

“We blink faster when excited because eyelid movements reflect bodily arousal levels established by the brain stem’s reticular activating system (RAS),” Givens says. The result: a chain reaction. Emotions from the limbic system stimulate the RAS to act on the brain to release the chemical dopamine in a part of the midbrain connected to the eyes.

A warning about reading the right message into this signal, though: A faster blink rate is also triggered when the speaker is lying.

Love sign #8: A warm smile

Smiles warm our hearts — but not any old smile is a sign of affection. What to look for: a genuine smile (called a “zygomatic smile”), the kind that can’t easily be faked because it’s produced not on demand but by pure emotion. In heartfelt smiles, the zygomaticus muscles are strongly contracted, so that corners of the mouth curve upward and the outer corners of the eyes wrinkle into crow’s feet. Pay attention to the eyes: In a genuine smile, they tend to be crinkled more tightly.

The face is more expressive than any other part of the body because all facial muscles are controlled by visceral nerves, which are connected to emotions. Some people say they can see their dog or cat smile, but these animals have little facial flexibility compared with our evolutionary kin the primates, who developed this ability in order to communicate. Reptiles, in comparison, can’t move their features at all, save to open their mouths.

Love sign #9: A higher-pitched and softer voice than usual

Notice how a parent talks to a child: The voice takes on a slightly higher, warmer tone — not loud, no edge to it. This same love-infused relationship is the model for the tone that people in love use. It’s a softer pitch than usual. “It’s innately friendly,” Given says, “and suggests a nonaggressive, nonhostile pose.”

That doesn’t mean that if your crush isn’t speaking to you in baby talk or falsetto, he or she doesn’t love you. The tone of a voice in love isn’t that exaggerated. It’s simply more loving.

The tone of voice is so important — and so revealing — because we “hear” the way words are delivered separately from how we process the words themselves. Tone of voice carries both emotion (love, hate, anger) and social information (sarcasm, superiority).

In fact, humans are so good at reading voices that you should probably trust what you hear in the tone more than the words themselves — especially when that “I love you” rolls off the tongue of the object of your affection. Comstock says, “When there’s a discrepancy between the words and the tone” — whether it’s detached, monotonal, defensive, sarcastic — “people believe the nonverbal.”

Curated by Erbe

Original Article

5 Reasons Why You Need a Sex Playlist

There comes a time in a relationship when things get boring, predictable and stale in the bedroom. Love making, sex feels the same. The touches no longer ignite the flames of passion. Kisses no longer open up moist caves, and make body parts throb.

If this is happening to you currently, you’ve hit a dry patch. No need to worry, as there are ways to liven things up in the sack. One of the surest ways to get your lovemaking from lukewarm to larva is hot is by having a sex playlist.

What’s a sex playlist? It’s a list of songs you play while having sex with your partner. Below we’ve outlined five key reasons why a sex playlist is essential in spicing things up.

Sexy Girl Listening To Music At Home - Point Of View Photo

  1. Set The Mood – A sex playlist creates the mood needed for exciting and pleasurable sex. Think of it as theme music in a movie. With the right songs you can easily create the ambiance and mood needed for some lovemaking that will knock your socks off, and make neighbors know your name.

  2. Tempo – A sex playlist can help determine the pace, and tempo of sex. If you are not satisfied with your lover’s temp (whether its too slow or fast), the right kind of songs can help quicken or slow down things easily. Watch your lover move to the rhythm of the song blasting from the speakers. A song like Future’s ‘Turn On The Lights‘ should make things go slow and deep, while a track like Reminisce’s ‘Tesojue‘ should ensure a fast race to the climax.

    Portrait of loving sensuality couple in dark

  3. Enhances foreplay – Foreplay is an essential part of love making. Sadly it is often ignored. Foreplay greatly determines if sex ends with a big bang or have an anti-climatic. Every one desires to experience the great finish. A sure way to help you reach the finish triumphantly is with a sex playlist. Watch your wife or babe strip and tease while dancing to Rihanna’s ‘Pour It Up‘. For the ladies watch your man take off his clothes as he moves his waist seductively to Usher’s ‘Good Kisser‘.

  4. Timer- Some people have been known to time their lovemaking. This means the thrusting and grinding does not stop until the playlist gets to the end. This helps create intimacy and bonding between lovers. Having sex is not bang, bang. Kissing, cuddling, teasing, nibbling and stroking are all parts of the game. Create a sex playlist that lasts for an hour, and do not stop until the last song plays out. Doing this will help you go through all the 9 yards of sex.

  5. Creativity – Unfortunately a lot of people never get out of the dry patch. As we grow older some of us settle for less, and never try to recreate the fireworks in the bedroom. Don’t settle for less. Making love while sensual songs are playing in the background, will add the spice you need. Create that playlist now and watch your sex life go va va voom!


Curated by Erbe

Original Article

10 Honestly Erotic Quotes to Turn a Closed Heart Open & Make a Serious Face Blush

Lust is about more than passion. Passion is about more than desire. Both, at their root, are divine fire: holy transports accessed only through mutual or un-confused bliss. Enjoy!

I let down my silken hair over my shoulders and open my thighs over my lover….Winter skies are cold and low, with harsh winds and freezing sleet. But when we make love beneath our quilt, we make three summer months of heat. ~ Tzu Yeh


And to my lips’
Bright crimson rim
The passion slips,
And down my slim
White body drips
The shining hymn…
~ D.H. Lawrence, “Mystery”

O happiest transport, dearest blessing,
Sweetest-rapture past expressing!
Who can tell the thrilling pleasure,
When the nymph resigns her treasure!
When she melts in ripen’d blisses,
Breathing out her soul in kisses!…
~ William Pattison, “The Enjoyment,” 1728


Let me lie,
let me die on thy snow-covered bosom,
I would eat of thy flesh as a delicate fruit,
I am drunk of its smell, and the scent
of thy tresses
Is a flame that devours.
~ George Moore

Announcing the Love TV Show

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

~ Pablo Neruda

Six Signs You Are Ready For A Keeper

Yep. You read that title right. There are tons of articles about how to know if the object of your affection is a keeper. But I’m going to go out on a limb and say that whether they are or not is immaterial if you are not ready to reciprocate keeper status. It is difficult to know if you are ready for a keeper. As always, I can only speak from my personal experience, but here are a few things that had to shift significantly before I was ready to keep and be ‘kept’.

1. You Are Looking For Your Equal.

One of the great romantic myths is that your significant other completes you in some way, that one plus one equals a happy whole. That implies that you are each half people stumbling around in the dark waiting for your life to begin once you find that missing puzzle piece. But I’d rather see it as finding someone who compliments you – two complete humans who together form an awesome team.

Here’s another way of looking at it: Why would you want to be with someone with whom the balance is uneven? Why ‘settle’ for someone – it will only lead to resentment. Or, why put yourself in a position of deference, constantly trying to prove your worth to someone? Ultimately, mutual respect will breed relationship longevity. Not as sexy as co-dependency, sure, but absolutely vital if you want something substantial.

2. You Are Able To See Things As They Are.

Forget X-Ray vision – the ability to see things as they are is the true super power! It is one that I have occasionally and one that makes life easier in general. When you can see things as they are (i.e. not how you would like them to be, nor a catastrophized version), then you know what you are working with and have the power to decide whether this person is right for you. An added bonus that comes from being a seer of The Truth Of Things is that you kinda have to give up the idea of changing someone. The ability to accept someone unconditionally is another step on the way to keeper status because you get to practice one half of that romantic ideal – unconditional love.

3. You Would Rather Be Single Than In A Not So Great Relationship

So now that you’ve gained that elusive aforementioned super power and you realize that you can’t change anyone and that the choice is always yours, it becomes pointless to continue pursuing something that is not right for you. Standing on your own takes courage. It can be lonely being single. But in my experience it is so much lonelier being in a relationship that isn’t working. Ultimately, I think it comes down to this – if you are holding on to someone that isn’t making your heart sing, then there is no room for anyone else.  Clear the space and do the work. Which brings me to…

Loving with a Secret

When I was a teenager I was one of the legions of cliché kids who thought that our romantic futures would actually play out in the same way as they did for the likes of Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything’s amorous kickboxing enthusiast who doesn’t want to buy, sell, or process anything.  I truly believed that the right girl was out there for me and that we would meet, hit it off, be separated by some turn of events and I would win her back through the cunning use of a move similar to holding up a boombox.

There were two major obstacles and one complication stopping that from being the case. First there’s the very simple fact that most lovestruck Romeos who seem charming and delightful in film would be creepy and overbearing in real life.  Very few real Lloyd Dobler’s have had off-screen conversations between John Cusack and Cameron Crowe in order to decide the perfect song out of that jukebox, nor that same Cameron Crowe writing the woman he’s in love with.  A real life Lloyd Dobler would likely be met by his new friend the restraining order.  Second, there’s the much more pressing obstacle of the fact that unlike Lloyd Dobler, I was not a man.  The added complication: I was the only one who knew that.

There was a significant time in my life when I didn’t actually think this second obstacle would really be one.  This teenage rom com-obsessed version of myself had not fathomed that the idea of coming out could ever or would ever be a thing.  Even using the term “coming out” wasn’t something I’d let enter my thoughts.  I felt, and had convinced myself, that this tiny, inconsequential secret of mine would be one I’d live with my whole life with nary a peep.

I did come out though, at 27 years old.  I want to say it was fortunate that I was single at the time of this revelation but the fact is that I have been single for most of my adult life, with the longest relationship I’ve ever been in lasting a mere five months.  There are plenty of contributing factors towards this.  I’m awkward, I’m geeky, and of course there was that pesky boombox I carried around for way too long.  But the romantic impact of having a deep dark secret cannot be underestimated.

It wasn’t that I never dated, it was that *I* never dated.  The person who would go out on dates with women that I was attracted to wasn’t me; he was this crafted male avatar, the person I presented to the world.  I was a tiny, repressed woman sitting at a console somewhere driving this awkward dude around, so no matter how strongly I felt towards someone, no matter what feelings she may or may not have had back, there was always the fear that she would discover me, think I was a freak, and reject me.  Living in constant fear that someone will reject you, usually is a number one cause of someone ultimately rejecting you.

As an analogy, let me reference something that may also further the case for my singlehood, the board game based on the reboot of the science fiction TV series Battlestar Galactica.  Without going too deeply into the mythology of the series, one of the aspects of it includes robots passing themselves off as humans.  In the board game, at least one player per game is given a card that tells them that they are one of these robots and must attempt to keep that secret hidden throughout the course of play.  Of course, having this secret card informs every interaction you make in the game.  Even if you’re not intentionally sabotaging the other players, every move you make runs the risk of revealing yourself.  Furthermore, every player who isn’t a secret robot is constantly on their guard about these same slip ups and sabotages as well.  In the world of real life, potential partners might not be searching specifically for secret robots but the scrutiny of what you may or may not be hiding is always there.  While this adversarial tension might make for an exciting board game, it is not a recipe that bodes well for long-term relationship success.

Whenever I’ve spoken to former partners or read about some aspect of trans coming out during a relationship, often the gender identity is not the number one thing they cite as the reason the partnership ended.  Almost consistently, the issue has always been, “how could this have been the case all along and I never knew?” The idea that someone so close to us could be keeping such a huge secret usually leads us to believe that they could be keeping more and that we wouldn’t know.  For my part, I was never good at keeping secrets from those close to me, which was why I never let anyone get close to me.  Now, almost six years out of the closet, I don’t even know how to let people in, because I spent 27 years keeping them out. But I think being honest with them is probably a good start.

Love Built Through A-Model Connection

Strong love for the ages!

In 1959, Charlie B. drove his brand new model-A Ford from North Carolina down to Florida, where a yearbook picture brought him and Penny together. Over fifty years later, the car has fallen derelict but his 50 year marriage with Penny has flourished.
Love Built Through A-Model Connection

This piece is a love story, told through the revival of an old car; it demonstrates the power of human connection.


Curated by Erbe
Original Source

Many Faces of Romance

Love comes in many shapes, sizes and ways of connecting. We should all be free to love and celebrate the love, intimacy, friendship and sexuality of relationships.Many Faces of Romance


Curated by Erbe
Original Source

What Is HOT About a Stable Guy

PASSION. Definition: strong and barely controllable emotion. Is passion a good thing? How much do we want of it in a relationship?

Often times, women feel like they have to make a choice between the hot and heavy/ tumultuous relationship and the boring/stable one. The real question is, why is passion paired with feelings of anger and jealousy and stability paired with feelings of boredom and dissatisfaction. What is it about the reliable man that unconditionally loves and supports us that makes us want to run the other way?

We don’t want to be in a relationship completely void of passion, so we might have to rewire ourselves. Here are 5 things about stable men that we should feel passionate about.

He has a job.

This might seem a little obvious, but any person who gets up every day and goes to work deserves some respect. He’s not “figuring things out.” His employer counts on him to be there, and he’s there. That means he is a reliable person. THAT IS HOT. When you call, he answers. He’s not “so high he fell asleep.”

He respects your friends.

The stable man is always down for a night out with your friends. He’s not living for himself and his own pleasure. He likes being part of a team. THIS IS HOT. You don’t want the guy who ditches you last minute because “my buddy wants to watch the game.” You want a guy you can MAKE PLANS WITH, who is capable of saying things like “I can’t tonight, maybe another time.”

He listens.

It’s simple. When you talk, he listens. “Huh?” and “sorry babe, what?” is not something that happens often after you have been talking for an extended amount of time. Not listening is a sign of disrespect. It is NOT HOT. It means they are prioritizing whatever they are doing or thinking over you. Unless of course, you are a total chatterbox, in that case it is you that might have a little work to do.Love, relationship. Beautiful couple at home

He keeps his place neat.

His place is tidy; he has furniture. He has a box spring, AND A BED FRAME. THESE ITEMS ARE HOT. Who wants to do it on a mattress on the floor whose sheets haven’t been changed in ages? Having your place together means you have your life together and that you aren’t looking for a mother to manage your life, you are looking for a partner to share your life with.

He doesn’t swear at you.

It is shocking to me how many women will put up with this during an argument. It is absolutely unacceptable to use profanity in any way or call your partner names. This is a sign of a person that is not evolved = NOT HOT. Plus, it sets the tone for your relationship. Once you condone this kind of behavior, it is easy to go downhill from there. The balanced man knows how to express his concerns without going to a dark place. His tone may be firm, but he is not disrespectful.