Vegan: An Expert Guide to Plant-Based Dating

If you’ve avoided dating a vegan because you’re worried that they are high maintenance, fear no more.

Are you afraid of vegans? Suspicious? In other words, do you see them as somehow different than you in a way that makes you nervous about vegan dating altogether? Well, you’re right that a vegan is in some ways different than you, a non-vegan.

Before fear overcomes you, let me reassure you that vegans, in many ways, are just like you. In all likelihood you love animals, so do vegans. You also probably love food, so do vegans.

The main difference between you and the vegan you might date is that they have decided to make a conscious effort not to hurt animals, or perhaps boost their health (a whole foods, plant-based diet has been proven to be ideal for good health), or help the planet (animal agriculture has a disastrous impact on the environment) by cutting animal products out of their diet and lifestyle.

That’s not so bad, is it?

Ask out that vegan

A vegan has the strong potential to offer some very attractive qualities. The fact that they are vegan means that they walk the walk (and don’t just talk the talk).

If they are an ethical vegan (vegan in the interest in reducing animals’ suffering), then you know that they are not only standing up for what they believe in, but that they are opposed to cruelty.

Probably the most attractive trait of a vegan is that they are living the love that is in their heart by acting on their love for animals, love for themselves, and love for the planet. And relationships are all about love, right?

Plan a great vegan date

Loving Couple Having Breakfast.

So what happens when you’re going out on a date with a vegan and you start shaking in your leather boots because you’re nervous about being criticized, saying something wrong, or how you will break it to your parents that your someday fiancé won’t eat their Thanksgiving meal?

First, don’t be nervous. They’ve already said they will go out with you, so they have indicated that they accept how you eat. Give them a chance to say yes to you before you convince yourself they will reject you. You can worry about Thanksgiving later.

You’ll want to pick a place to meet that works for both you and your date. Your vegan isn’t only a vegan, they are a whole person with a spectrum of interests. Maybe they also enjoy botanical gardens, or seeing bands perform, or that French film that’s playing in the cute movie house downtown.

When it comes to restaurants, or cafés, or other food-oriented outings, a vegan will generally appreciate your thoughtfulness if you suggest a plant-based establishment. However, there are also frequently vegan options at non-vegan restaurants. There’s a good chance you’ll still be able to go to your favorite place, even if it isn’t vegan.

This could also be a fantastic opportunity for you to try a new cuisine. Your date will likely be in the know about the best vegan restaurants, and you could follow their guidance to delicious gourmet plant-based food unlike any you’ve tasted before.

Although your vegan date may seem a bit alien to you for their lifestyle choices, remember that they’re a human, like you. Vegans aren’t only interested in vegan things. We have all different topics we can talk about.

You should feel free to speak to your vegan about topics that interest you, but you’ll want to avoid interrogating them about their veganism, just as you wouldn’t want to be challenged about your own eating habits by a new potential love.

Also, you may want to avoid sensitive subject matter such as: 1) Your love of hunting, 2) Your last fishing trip, and 3) Your passion for eating bacon.

Get to know your vegan

Couple With Healthy Food

Though incessant prodding about one’s veganism is not fun on a date, as a vegan I can tell you that I always welcome the gentle asking of questions. It’s perfectly OK to be curious. Go ahead and ask your date how they came to be vegan, what they eat for breakfast, and what they wear on their feet. They will probably welcome your interest in their life.

On one of my first dates with my now-partner, Dietrich, he gently asked me why I didn’t drink milk, or eat other dairy products. I took no offense, and happily filled him in on why I had decided not to consume them, without pressuring him to change.

However, I should warn you, he has been happily vegan since that very day.

Ready for your first date with a vegan? Read on to tell if it’s going well.

6 Literary Reasons Women Love “Fictional” Guys (And The Real Life Versions You Can Daydream About)

Your taste in men may be bookish but it doesn’t have to limit your romantic fantasies.

In this age of sexting and leftward swipes, a few of us women are on a whole different — or, dare we say, scholarly — wavelength. Our dates may not realize it, but we’re secretly comparing them to the hottest guys we know: guys who are — um, well — fictional.

Why are we so thirsty for men who don’t actually exist? Here are the six big reasons:

1. Every date is an adventure.

Your first night out together is likely to include:

  • a perilous chase across London in a hansom cab
  • a mad flight to Gretna Green
  • an untoward occurrence at the opera
  • witty banter in elegant surroundings
  • cutting a dash together on the dance floor
  • joining forces to solve a fiendish murder involving stolen emeralds, the vicar, and a sinister missive delivered by a veiled woman.

Some of us just crave the unexpected. We love the instant intimacy created by a shared adventure. Even when things get dangerous, we still prefer that to an evening at home with Netflix.

The Real-Life Version: Chris Pratt rented an entire ship so he could woo his beloved while sailing up the Thames — a date that Anna Faris called “wildly romantic”.

girl reading book at library

2. You prefer intensity to politeness.

If passion’s your jam, you have plenty of fictional fantasy heroes to choose from, ranging from Heathcliff all the way to Captain Hook. Those restless bad boys are some of our all-time favorites. He may be a vampire or keep his first wife locked in the attic, but he’ll never be boring.

The Real-Life Version: Oscar Isaac is far from bad, but he definitely lives life on his own terms. He started having adventures young, got expelled from school, played lead guitar in a successful ska-punk band, then graduated from the famously competitive and prestigious acting program at Juilliard.

3. To him, Debrett’s Peerage is hotter than Fifty Shades of Grey.

In our hyper-connected modern world, we’ve all read the same books and hung out on the same websites. But this man is different. We can’t begin to imagine what he’s been reading: after all, he went to college in 1920s Cambridge or 1500s Wittenberg. His whole frame of reference is deliciously mysterious.

The Real-Life Version: The smart and erudite Jason Momoa is an expert on wildlife and marine biology. His wide-ranging studies have included painting in Paris and Buddhism in Tibet.

4. He’ll restrain himself for weeks before venturing to touch your ungloved hand.

He’ll lead you out onto the dance floor or in to dinner, but he won’t touch your bare skin for a long, long time. He’ll think about it, of course. You both will. There’ll be simmering desire and barely-suppressed passion. When you finally do touch, you’ll be dizzy with lust. Yes, this will drive you crazy, but in a good way. And it definitely makes life exciting.

The Real-Life Version: Benedict Cumberbatch was friends with Sophie Hunter for seventeen years before he proposed.

woman reading a book in a boat

5. The two of you share steamy, yet historical, fantasies.

Such as:

  • a barouche
  • a quizzing glass
  • cravats/waistcoats/top boots
  • a bathing machine
  • the Crimean War
  • an unexpected encounter on a balcony/in a ballroom/in the Piazza San Marco/at Almack’s/on the moor

For some of us literasexuals, pretty much anything historical can be romantic. Do you dream of torrid love-notes written on parchment with a quill pen? Would you swoon over a gent who, instead of sending body part pics, offered you a lock of his hair set in a golden brooch?

The Real-Life Version: Orlando Bloom is a luddite who never emails and doesn’t even own a computer. Plus he looks great in period costumes, and he’s probably a dab hand with a quill.

6. He owns a National Trust property in Cornwall/Derbyshire/Illyria.

The best fictional fantasy heroes always have a jaw-dropping home to sweep you away to. (Remember Elizabeth Bennet sneaking over to check out the closet space at Pemberley before saying “I do”?)

The Real-Life Version: Britain’s Prince Harry has a dazzling array of royal dwellings at his disposal. It would be hard to imagine anything more lush and gorgeous than his official London residence, Kensington Palace.

7. Whatever the obstacles between you, he’ll suffer agonies over you rather than transfer his attentions to another, less troublesome, lady.

Once your fictional fantasy guy falls for you, he stays fallen. The whole “plenty of fish” mentality is totally foreign to him. Come hell or high water, piracy, missing wills, misunderstandings, or years of enforced separation when he’s been unjustly imprisoned, you’re still the only one for him.

The Real-Life Version: When Colin Firth first spotted his wife-to-be across a crowded plaza in Cartagena, it was love at first sight. Never mind that millions of women all over the planet were fantasizing about him — he knew instantly that no matter what, Livia Giuggioli was his one and only.

Is there a way your leading man can leap off of the page and into your life?

Our examples may be too rich and famous to be attainable, but these qualities are not. Use these romantic fantasies to identify what is important to you — you just might be a date away from your own epic love story.

For more reading on our fantasies, check out this list of 30 (!) fantasies to inspire you or this wild look into the life of a phone fantasy hotline worker.

How a Little Bit of Appreciation Can Change Everything in Love

appreciation

True Love Lessons: Appreciation

I believe it has the ability to transform and heal ANYTHING!

Appreciation in a partnership is something that can revolutionized your relationship.

Do you ever find yourself dwelling on the things you feel your partner did wrong or maybe didn’t do at all? The next time one of those thoughts arises immediately turn your focus to something you appreciate about your partner. The more you do this, the more all you will see are the things you appreciate.

This little exercise isn’t meant to replace dialogue or communication in any way. It’s only meant to get your mind in the mode of appreciating. Which, like I mentioned earlier can TRANSFORM AND HEAL ANYTHING!

You can incorporate appreciation into every aspect of your life. Appreciate your body and all the incredible workings it contains.

..the safe roof over your head… the food you put on your table or your clean running water…

…the shoes on your feet…

I promise you, once you get started on this list, it will be pages, and pages long.

Expanding our appreciation causes everything around us to glow with LOVE!

Tune in next time to the ‘True Love Lessons and Confessions with Sierra’.

 

8 Fun Ideas for A Romantic Couple Photoshoot

You’re scrolling through Instagram and come across a photo of a friend and their significant other. They’re holding hands, looking so in love, with the ocean in the background—and the lighting is perfect.

You might wonder how they got such a great photo, you might even envy it. Maybe you get the idea that you and your partner should go out and take some photos too.

In this age of social media, when it’s so easy to show off photos of your loved ones, it’s nice to have a few good pictures of you and your honey. Maybe you want a cute shot to post for Valentine’s or you want some really nice engagement pictures. Maybe you want photos to celebrate your anniversary or you just want some nice pictures to remember this time in your lives.

If you’re ready to dust off your camera and organize a couple photo shoot, consider these 8 themes to make your photo session even sweeter.

1. Visit the location of your first date

For your first date you might have gone to a special restaurant, a movie theater, or maybe you two just went to the dog park with your pups. No matter where you went during that first hangout, you probably feel some special connection to that spot. Why not use it as a photo location? Think of all the cute photos you could take recreating that first coffee date or driving go-carts together like you did way back when.

Of course, if you don’t feel a special connection to the place you had your first date, or if it would be too hard to travel there, this idea could be applied to any location that’s special for you two, such as the place you met, or where you got married, or where you first kissed.

When it was time for my husband and I to take engagement photos, we decided to have our photographer take pictures of us at our old high school, which is where we met and spent much of our time together early in our relationship. It was fun walking around our old school and thinking back on our time there—and the memories made our pictures even more special.

2. Get back to nature

Photographers can build beautiful sets and put up fabulous backdrops, but there’s nothing quite like the beauty of nature. From fields of wildflowers, to mountains, to the ocean: nature can be the perfect spot for your romantic shoot.

The best part is, no matter what part of the world you’re in, you’re probably not far from a great natural background. You might not be close enough to the coast to take pictures on the beach, but if you’re near green forested areas, take advantage of it. If you find yourself in the dessert, use the golden sand and open landscape for glamorous wide shots.

One great tip is to find a spot that has different natural features. You don’t want to take all your photos in front of the one beautiful tree, you’ll want to use different backgrounds to give your photos a good variety.

When my sister-in-law took maternity photos, she picked a location by the beach that she knew would give her a few different looks. She and her husband took some photos by the water, some by rock formations on the sand, and a few on a grassy field nearby. With each location they were able to change the feel of their photos, plus, they took the change in scenery as an opportunity to change their clothes and use different props.

couple romantic photoshoot

3. Take a trip to the fair

While some think romantic photoshoots should be filled with soft colors and long, meaningful looks, sometimes it’s better to show a more playful side. If you’re looking for a fun, vibrant shoot, consider having photos taken at the state fair or a theme park. You can take pictures walking through fun houses or playing fair games. You could pose for photos as you ride the merry-go-round or take candids in the petting zoo.

I knew a couple who had an impromptu photoshoot at the fair. A friend with a photography class assignment met the couple at the state fairgrounds and took out her camera whenever she saw a cute moment. They ended up with a ton of beautiful ferris wheel photos and photographs of sweet moments eating snacks.

While the location made for a fun theme, what really made the photos special was the fact that they were all having a blast that day. If you’re having fun when you’re taking pictures, it’s sure to show up in your photos.

4. Include your pets

If you’re going to take photos together, why not include everyone in the family? Of course, I’m talking about your pets. Adding a dog or cat (or even your pet snake) adds another layer to the photoshoot.

My cousin and his wife are all about their dogs so they decided to include them in a pregnancy announcement photo shoot. They got the dogs little signs to hang around their necks and posed with them in front of their house. The photos were a hit.

Consider making a photo shoot out of a walk with your dog or plan to gather your pets in your living room for a quick half hour of picture-taking. Heck, maybe you’ll go all out and get matching human-pet sweaters.

Of course, you should prepare for excited pets and possible “accidents” but including your animals is worth the trouble and will make the photos all that much more special.

5. Themed for the season

Seasonal photos have been in style for a long time: families posed by the Christmas tree or gathered in a JCPenny studio wearing their holiday sweaters. But, you don’t have to save your portraits for just that one time of year.

When planning a photo shoot, think about the time of year and use it to your advantage. If it’s fall, embrace the crisp air by putting on some brown and orange sweaters and take pictures with the changing leaves. In spring, consider a  flowery theme by getting yourself a flower crown and taking photos in a field of grass. Summer time? Plan a silly shoot by the pool, complete with swim suits, colorful sunglasses, and drinks with tiny umbrellas.

I know one couple who planned a wedding photo session six months after they got married so they could have photos in their wedding location, but in a different season. While they enjoyed a summer wedding with lots of bright flowers and colors, their winter anniversary photos had a whole different flavor. The bride got herself a bouquet made of red and white roses and they snuggled up in warm winter accessories.

6. Recreate old photos of yourselves

While taking new photos is fun, you and your sweetie probably treasure older photos too. For a fun photoshoot, find some of your favorite photos together, perhaps some from when you were first dating, and recreate the photo.

Maybe you have a picture of the two of you at a costume party or a candid picture a friend took on the night you met. Play with the idea of wearing the same clothes (especially if the look is so outdated it’s funny or if you’re recreating a past Halloween). Also, think about going to the same spot the original photo was taken. It might be fun to see what that place looks like now.

I have one friend who takes a photo with her husband every year in the same spot at their old college, wearing the same university sweaters. It’s a sweet tradition and each year the photo they take is even more special than the last.

7. Recreate scenes from your favorite movies

While recreating your old photos is super sweet, it can be just as exciting to have a photoshoot inspired by famous scenes from movies or TV shows. It can make for a fun, and usually silly, photo shoot you’ll both love.

Pick a movie that’s important to the two of you, or that you always watch together, and consider dressing like your favorite characters and play the part yourselves. Your photos can be lightly inspired or you can go for accuracy with your costumes and makeup. Either way, you’re sure to have a lot of fun with it.

I know one couple who dressed up as Juno and Bleeker for a cheeky pregnancy announcement. Another couple I know dressed as their favorite movie couples for a series of engagement photos. Both couples had a great time taking the pictures and their photos ended up looking amazing.

couple romantic photoshoot

8. Take photos at home

Pictures capture a moment in time, and what better way to capture your relationship, and your season in life, by capturing your home as well?

For photos you’ll love to look back at, take some pictures in front of your house or on your doorstep together. If your home’s exterior isn’t especially photogenic (or if you’re in an apartment), consider posing for photos on your couch or sitting on your stairs. It will let you capture cute pictures of the two of you, and help you create a memory of where you live and what your life is like at this point in time.

When my husband and I moved into our first condo, we decided to celebrate by taking pictures in our new home. We didn’t do anything fancy, just made sure we were both wearing something nice and set a timer on our camera. Still, we loved taking photos in our new home, on the steps leading up to our door, and even on the patio. It made for one of the best early memories we have in that condo.

Taking photos with your sweetie is sure to be a fun and memorable experience. And when it’s done, you’ll have some sweet photos to look back on. Hopefully these eight ideas will help you capture amazing photos you and your honey will love.