Tag: Featured

Using PMS to Create More Intimacy for You

by Gina Cloudin Mind

Ladies, what if I told you that by learning what PMS really is, that you could use it as a tool to improve the quality of your life and your relationships?

Guys, what if I told you that PMS, through my lens, will create more intimacy and improve the quality of your relationships with all the women in your life?

Well, ladies and gents, that’s what I’m going to attempt to share with you in this post.

First of all, let’s take a look at what PMS REALLY is.  To do that I have to explain to you that in my world and the work that I do, I love to redefine negative concepts and language, imbuing them with positivity.  Life after all is all about perspective.

We tend to believe what we’ve been told growing up by the adults in our life, as well as buying into all the media messages we are bombarded with constantly.

What I do and what I’m asking you to do is THINK FOR YOURSELF.  Reframe things outside the box so that they empower you, rather than victimize you.

PMS, as I have redefined it, stands for Powerful Monthly Sight.  Ladies, open your minds.  You guys, too.

Ladies first.  Each month, beyond our hormonal changes, we have emotional shifts that happen.  I am a firm believer that this aspect has not been examined nearly closely enough in all the “research” that’s been done on our menstrual cycle, yet every woman knows what I’m talking about when I say this.

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When Was the Last Time You Really Played With Yourself?

by Gina Cloudin LOVE

Okay, so how many of you had sexual thoughts from this post title?  Gotcha.  No, this isn’t about sex.  But it is about playing with yourself.

Why is it that we work so hard to encourage and inspire young children’s imaginations only to later allow  society to painfully and methodically sever their connections and access to them?

If you want to reconnect and remember who you really are, spend as much time as you can in the presence of children. And if you can, play with them, laugh with them, be silly with them.  It is there that you will remember the truth of your own heart.

And when you remember that part of you, probably so long ago abandoned, you may feel sad.   If that sadness comes, embrace it with gratitude for being given the opportunity to reclaim that freedom you lost, because it is  STILL attainable.

Simply stop being a “grown up” and remember.  Turn off all the media.   Put down your phone.  Go outside. Allow your own mind to be self-generative, and to have ideas come from within you , rather than having all of your imagination and creativity shut down because you’ve become just a receiver of external ideas, instead of the generator of your own.

Other people’s thoughts and ideas in this age of information are constantly permeating our  being, our minds, and our hearts; movies, the Internet, TV, billboards, magazines, podcasts, webcasts.  The list is endless.  And while some of it can be beneficial, I feel so much of it is heart-numbing and overly stimulating our minds in unhealthy ways.

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Intentional Dialogue for Hot Button Topics With Your Partner

by John Winelandin LOVE

john wineland

This simple intentional dialogue practice will literally change your life and all of your relationships if you practice and master it. In this short demo, Guru Jagat and I demonstrate the practice give some tips as how to best use it moving forward, including a 40 days challenge!

 

How Do High Heels Affect Men?

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

A recent study finds that women wearing high heels had a significant effect on men.

Ladies, here’s something consider when you go out this weekend: A recent study finds that women wearing high heels had a significant effect on men. We know you’ve suspected it for awhile, but now we have hard proof (empirically speaking, of course).

French researcher Nicolas Geughan used a set of four experiments using young women. He controlled for other sartorial factors by dressing them in the same outfit: black skirt and blazer with white shirt. He also used three different heel heights: flat, medium (5 cm.) and tall (9 cm.).

First, the women were sent to ask pedestrians (both men and women) to participate in surveying and for restaurant suggestions. The higher the heel, the more willing a male pedestrian was willing to help: The women wearing the high heels garnered an 82-83% response rate, while the women wearing flats received only a 42-47% response rate.

Next, pedestrians were asked to respond to a dropped glove by women wearing various heel heights. Men responded to women wearing high heels 93% of the time, compared to responding 62% of the time to women wearing flats.

It’s interesting to note that within both these experiments, female pedestrians weren’t affected by the height of another woman’s heels. They actually responded less than the men in both situations: 30-36% for the surveys, and 43-52% for the dropped glove.

Geughan also measured the effect high heels had on men when approaching women in a bar. Women wearing high heels were approached by men eight minutes after entering. By contrast, women wearing flats got approached 14 minutes after entering the bar.

Ladies, with great power comes great responsibility. Use it wisely this weekend–and your whole lives.

This Is Why Men Are Faking Orgasm

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

Faking orgasms were found to be related to relationship and sexual satisfaction, but could vary with motivation.

That headline made you do a double-take, right? “But…but only women fake it…right?!” No, apparently it’s not just women. (I’ll let that sink in for a moment now that everything in your world has come crashing down.)

A study published last month in a volume of “Sexual and Relationship Therapy”examines whether faking it, and why, is correlated with sexual and relationship satisfaction. Researchers looked at a sample size of 230 men ages 18-29 years old. Men reported faking it on average about 25% of sexual encounters within their current relationship, and mostly within penetrative (a.k.a. vaginal) sex. (Granted, this is self-reported data, so it’s highly possible some men are lying about their frequency of this act.) It’s unclear as to the sexual orientations of the subjects.

Faking orgasms were found to be related to relationship and sexual satisfaction, but could vary with motivation. Men with lower levels of attraction to their partners indicated that they faked it more frequently. But men who were happy with their partners also faked it “to support a partner’s emotional well-being.” Also, men who faked it when they were drunk correlated to higher levels of sexual satisfaction.

These results parallel a 2010 study published in the “Journal of Sex Research” that also examined rates of faking orgasm (though this one looked at faking for both men and women). And the numbers were near-identical: 25% of men reported faking orgasm, with 28% of men reporting that it occurred during penetrative/vaginal sex.

(Side note: each of these studies referred to faking orgasm as “pretend/pretending orgasm.” I tried to use that phrase in this post, but every time I typed it, I started giggling. Because I’m 12 years old.)

These are interesting stats, and definitely not something I knew before. But does this mean we’ll now have a cultural conversation regarding the faking-orgasm gap?

Would You Believe a Tampon Tax?

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

Did you know that a tampon tax exists? No? A lot of people don’t. Thankfully, that’s about to change.

The “tampon tax” is a sales tax applied to feminine hygiene needs (tampons and pads). Many states have one in place, and it’s been proven to really add up over time (especially since the average women menstruates for around 37 years).

Right now, women aren’t going to take it any more. Five women in New York have filed a class-action lawsuit against commissioner Jerry Boone and the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance. Their stance is that feminine hygiene products aren’t classified as medical use, and so are relegated to the 4% sales tax.

The lawsuit also models the amount of money women are spending through this tax:

According to the lawsuit, women spend on average more than $70 a year on tampons and pads, and women who menstruate constitute more than one-quarter of New York state’s 20 million population. The plaintiffs estimate that the state collects around $14 million in taxes by imposing a four percent sales tax on tampons and pads, less than one-hundredth of one percent of the state’s annual budget of $142 billion.

And the five women bringing the lawsuit aren’t the only ones who think the tax should be outlawed:

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said on Thursday that the tax should be repealed. Earlier this year, Manhattan Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal introduced a bill seeking to end the state’s taxation on tampons and pads.

It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes to affect change in this area.

T&A In Bed with Three Day Rule Matchmakers

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A

Completely romantic, sweet, and inspiring ideas from Adelle and Karen of the dating site, Three Day Rule, in this speed round of relationship questions. Find your ideal mate with the team at www.threedayrule.com

You can hear our full podcast episode where these girls explain the rules of dating, how to find your true love, and common mistakes people make hurting their chances – here: http://bit.ly/ThreeDayRuleTATalkSex

Drinking (Moderately) Helps Men’s Sexual Performance

by Sarah Ewaldin Sex

To a certain extent, we’ve been conditioned by the media to think that having sex after drinking might not be the best thing for me. And that’s true. But moderately imbibing might actually help a man’s sexual performance.

The Keogh Institute for Medical Research at the University of Western Australia in Nedlands surveyed 1.5K+-1.7K+ men (for some reason, I couldn’t find an exact number) about their sexual performance, specifically with respect to sexual dysfunction. The moderate drinkers reported 25%-30% fewer problems than men who didn’t drink at all. This percentage took into account age, smoking habits, and heart disease, all of which affect penile function.

But there is one issue with this study’s results: nobody asked the subjects’ partners if they were satisfied!

T&A IN BED with Leah Knauer

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A are in bed with Leah Knauer, comedian voted one of Twitter’s Funniest Women by SMOSH! Leah dishes on her personal details in this lil’ video, before we chat with her in a full podcast: http://bit.ly/28QCEdf

On our podcast episode: Leah Knauer – actress & comedian voted one of Twitter’s Funniest Women by SMOSH, & appeared on Not Safe with Nikki Glaser and Corporate, both on Comedy Central – talks with T&A about her time in abstinence club, and then the ladies talk openly about how to get over those breakups that hurt our hearts, and the age old problem of guys who don’t get the hint that you’re just not that into him.  What’s the best way to handle all of these?! Leah shares openly, honestly, and with humor.

T&A IN BED with Sarah Afkami

by T A Talk Sexin Sex

T&A in bed with Sarah Afkami

T&A are in bed with Sarah Afkami, comedian and tv writer for Chelsea Handler’s latest Netflix show and others. Sarah answers T&A silliest and naughtiest questions with honesty and a bit of bashfulness, before we chat with her on our podcast here: http://bit.ly/28SLl6o. Don’t miss her killer shoes featured at the end of the video 😉

On our podcast episode: What weird sexual fantasies are you keeping to yourself? T&A share openly about their sexual fantasies with their guest, Sarah Afkami, comedian and writer for Chelsea Handler’s latest Netflix show, Chelsea, and Comedy Central’s The Legend of Chamberlain Heights, coming out this fall! We all have images and ideas that maybe surprise even ourselves. Do you have shame or judgement around your own fantasies? What if you expressed them without judgment to understand yourself and your partner better? Join us as we explore our own fun, surprising fantasies honestly and openly, as well as our earliest fantasies that have shaped our sexual identity. We just might activate your imagination! Tweet Sarah @safikomen and write us with thoughts & questions at advice@tatalksex.com

The Intimacy of Tango

by Gina Cloudin RELATIONSHIPS

Tango conjures up images of passion, but little know that it is a microcosm of intimacy, and a practice which allows us to heal the places inside of us that fear connection.

gina cloud

Having danced her whole life, Gina discovered Argentine tango 2 years ago and it has changed her in ways she could not have imagined. Her realization that Argentine tango is also a healing practice inspired her to share the tools and benefits of this art form as a way of helping others heal the most important aspect of their lives: their relationship with themselves and the ability to connect with others. Gina will explore the profound and scientifically documented effects of Argentine tango on the nervous system and the neuroendocrine system as a path for healing body, mind and spirit, and awakening our capacity for deeper intimacy in our lives.

Gina Cloud is the creator and founder of GinaCology, a 10-tenet path for women to live fully awake, alive and empowered, from the inside out, free of media influence. She is the author of “W.O.M.A.N: A New Definition,” and a co-author in the national and international bestselling book, “The Power of Being A Woman” She is also a women’s health expert, speaker, life coach, tango dancer and the single mother of a 20-year-old daughter. She has hosted her own radio show, with more than 150-episodes, as well has being a guest expert on many radio and TV programs, including KPFK Pacifica, Playboy Radio and The Ricki Lake Show. Her passion for empowering others comes through her words and her presence. She is deeply committed to helping every human being awaken to and live through their fullest potential. www.ginacology.com

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

How Common is Intimate Partner Violence?

by Sarah Ewaldin Mind

…Women ages 18-24 are most likely to be “abused by an intimate partner.”

Late last year, adult film star James Deen was accused of rape by his former girlfriend, fellow adult film star Stoya. Other performers later came forward to accuse Deen of sexual assault, but Stoya’s two tweets on Nov. 28, 2015, started Deen’s downfall: He’s since been dropped from one major studio.

Rape can be part of a larger pattern of intimate partner violence. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), intimate partner violence “comprises 15% of all violence crimes,” and women ages 18-24 are most likely to be “abused by an intimate partner.” In addition, 46%+ of women raped are raped by an acquaintance. Of this number, 45%+ of women are raped by an intimate partner. These are scary stats.

As of 2014, women ages 18-24 comprise 4.8% of the total population.As of the 2010 Census, women comprised 50.8% of the total population, or 156.9M+ residents. We can estimate that the current number of women in this age group who’ve been raped by an acquaintance might shake out to 155K+.

Here’s the math:

  • 156,964,212 *.0048 = 753,429 (estimate of women ages 18-24 as of 2014)
  • 753,429 * .46 = 346,578 (estimate of number of women in that age range raped by an acquaintance)
  • 346,578 * .45 = 155,961 (estimate of number of women ages 18-24 raped by an intimate partner)

Obviously, this isn’t an exact estimate, due to a couple of reasons: self-reporting (not all women will probably report rape/violence), and inaccurate data (using both 2010 and 2014 numbers).

Scary, right? Unfortunately, this is the reality, so take care of yourselves.

Sexually Dissatisfied? Here is Why

by Gina Cloudin Sex

What I am seeing over and over is fear and disconnection, brought about by a woman’s own body wisdom.

Whenever I sit down to write these posts, I truly never have any idea how long they will be. A title comes to me and, like a midwife, I sit down and allow myself to be used as a channel. So before you read this, scroll down and see how long it is and if you have the 5-10 minutes to read it. This one feels important, even before I begin to write the meat of it.

Lately I’ve had quite a few women come to me and express dissatisfaction with their sexuality/sex life. When they come to me, often they feel there is something wrong WITH THEM because they aren’t feeling sexual, and as I begin to work with them to help them unfurl the petals of this vital part of their feminine nature, what I am seeing over and over is fear and disconnection, brought about by a woman’s own body wisdom.

Throughout my life I have always said that the most important things I’ve ever learned I have learned through my body. Living in a world that from a very early age teaches women and girls NOT to listen to their innate body wisdom has caused a massive shut down in our ability to discern what is healthy from what may be dysfunction. We trust more what we hear outside of us, instead of what we hear from within.

So many women who feel disconnected sexually are actually in a place of awakening, as their body wisdom has taken over where the mind has failed them. In their deepest heart, they KNOW that this version of sex they are being sold is all wrong for them, but because there is no body trust for most women, it becomes depression and a subscription to the mainstream mindset that there must be something wrong with you.

Sexuality in our culture has become a lot like fast food, and just as devoid of nutrition and satisfaction. We are hungry for something that we know we are supposed to get via sex, both women and men, yet after living on junk food, we are physically sick and more in need of nutrition than ever. That nutrition is the energetic component of sex that is all but lost in the way we do sex now, and yet women’s bodies are rebelling against this, even as women’s minds subscribe to the BS that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want sex or aren’t having it.

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