Sex Archives - Page 15 of 29 - Love TV

Category: Sex

Eastern VS. Western Sex

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Sex beyond with Tantra

Tantra is one of the oldest known arts of sacred sexuality practiced today. Although Tantra has long been practiced in many eastern cultures, it’s just beginning to flourish in the United States. Born in India more than 6,000 years ago, Tantra emerged as a rebellion against organized religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment. Tantra challenged the acetic beliefs of that time, purporting that sexuality was a doorway to the divine, and that earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing and creative expression were sacred acts.

The essence of Tantra lies in the ability to transform sexual energy into a spiritual journey into nirvana, bridging the gap between spirituality and sexuality thus awakening to full enlightenment and awareness. Tantra is a “practical” spiritual path and is practiced in sacredness. Since Tantra is practiced as a spiritual ritual, as with all forms of spiritual worship, there is an acknowledging and honoring of a divine presence or being. In the case of Tantra, this is reflected by acknowledging and honoring the divine presence of God in your partner and each other throughout the realm of the senses.

From the beginning, Tantric teachings passed from one generation to the next in the unwritten form of the rituals themselves, then later through writings known simply as “Tantras.” The Tantras were written in Sanskrit (ancient Hindu) and are composed of dialogues between the Hindu god Shiva and the Hindu goddess Shakti. Tantra means to expand, join or weave Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy between lovers. This joining of the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), incorporates them into a harmonious unit of one in which they reach the essence of their core identity through a variety of rituals in the mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual dimensions of wellness.

The weaving of the Tantric energy is based on the balance of the Chakras (energy wheels). According to Tantric beliefs, there are seven chakras which align the center of the body. When in proper balance, the chakras allow us to understand the relationship between our highest consciousness and physical being. Tantra focuses specifically on using the chakras to direct Kundalini (sexual) energy between Yin & Yang within the six essential elements of Tantra: Breath, Movement, Muscle Lock, Sound, Intention and Attention. When a deep interconnection is established throughout all of the six essential elements, the perceived space between yin and yang becomes filled with the light of Spirit. This spiritual presence activates energy between the two, joining them as one.

Tantric sex versus westernized sex

Tantra is different from western ideas about sex. In the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to please our lover or connect with him or her more fully. Another key distinction between westernized views of sex and tantric sex is that the western sexual script has a clear beginning (sexual excitement), middle (penetration), and end (orgasm). Sex is seen as goal oriented, with orgasm being the end result and any adaptation from this script seen as wrong.

Tantric sex is not result or goal oriented, but rather, timeless and unstructured. In Tantric sex the point of sex is not orgasm, rather to experience the sensations and pleasures associated with intimate connection with a partner. There is no clear cut beginning, middle, or end. Most of the exercises related to Tantric sex involve slowing things down, trying not to focus on our external body, or orgasm, or anything outside of our experience in the moment. Without a focus on orgasm, sex becomes more about exchanging pleasures, awakening the senses and allowing couples to communicate on deep physical and emotional levels. During this time, lovers are able to establish an intimate connection that can be maintained and heightened as they transition into the sexual dimension.

Another major difference between the westernized way of sex and Tantric sex is the emphasis of breathing and slowing down sexual behavior compared to the hectic, orgasm-focused westernized approach. In the art of Tantra there are a variety of individual and partnered activities that are designed to focus on breathing and meditation. The activities and exercises help to bring attention, focus and intention into the moment, which allows for greater pleasure and sensation during the experience. In addition, breathing directs energy, frees emotions, and increases stamina and orgasmic intensity, as oxygen is dispersed throughout the muscles and bloodstream.

Tantra can be a very breathtaking journey — literally and figuratively — especially when practiced with a partner who is open to transcending into a spiritual journey while experiencing sexual ecstasy. The benefits of Tantric sex are endless, including the ability to delay orgasm, heal past emotional wounds, deepen connection with a partner, rejuvenate your health, and experience ecstatic sexual states. Practicing Tantra will increase intimacy, energy of attraction, communication, and spirituality, ultimately enhancing the richness of the relationship. Through its rituals, Tantra teaches ways to carry this intense focus of concentration into all areas of life. The rituals make it possible to enjoy not only sex but increase happiness in all other dimensions in our lives.

Tantric sex extends far beyond the bedroom by helping partners open fully to each other in trust and love through all facets of their relationship, creating a space for spiritual growth and personal awareness. As you learn to open to yourself to the path of love, you naturally open up to others around you. You begin to understand that surrender does not mean submission or loss of self, but rather a loving expansion to something that is much greater than you are. The practice of Tantra shows us how to reclaim the sexual intimacy that is our inherent birthright. Through this most ancient art, we discover new joys of the erotic pleasure and expand our moments of sexual ecstasy into a lifetime of happiness and bliss. The real essence of Tantra cannot be captured in oral or in written words. To truly understand Tantra, you have to experience it!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Is Sex Always on Your Mind?

by zfortadminin Sex

At the most basic level, sex and gender are the first defining factors we notice when we meet someone for the first time.

Sex, in this case, refers to someone’s biological gender, and the most elementary definition of gender is which sex organ a person has, and therefore (we assume) uses.

Of course, biology isn’t the only defining factor in how someone identifies. Someone’s biological sex can deviate from their own gender identity, and both biological sex and gender identity are far from binary subjects. However, our society has taught us to judge someone’s gender by their physical appearance.

Beautiful romantic woman / girl brunette lying on the bed in herIf someone’s appearance seems ambiguous, the next question people will most likely ask themselves is what that person’s sexual orientation is. These categories we put people in are the beginnings of a question that spreads through all corners of life: Is sex all we think about?

Advertisers sure think so. Everything on the market is sold to us through sexualizing a product, most often by objectifying women and further defining what it means to be masculine or feminine within our society.

Clearly the formula for making the most unsexy object, like a hamburger for instance, into something sexually appealing is just to have a dripping, tan, half-naked woman seductively putting her mouth around a bun. If advertisers think products need to be sexy in order for people to be interested in them, this definitely says something about our society’s priorities.

Sexual culture also plays a major role in defining relationships. Even today as we move toward a more “gender neutral” world (emphasis on move), it is still traditionally abnormal when a man and woman have a completely platonic relationship, or for someone of the LGBTQIA+ community not to have a sexual relationship with someone they are “supposed” to be attracted to.

The images projected on our society about male and female roles cause relationships between people of different genders to be subjected to sexual standards. There is an idea that the “right way” to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender is a sexual one and, if that doesn’t happen, it is written off in a negative light as “the friend zone.”

The base of attraction is sexual: Every time we check out someone — or ourselves in the mirror — are we subconsciously thinking about sex? Even using the term “making love” interchangeably with “sex” has created unnecessary focus on the physical act of sex within our society. This terminology suggests love cannot exist without sex, and sex cannot exist without love. Imagine the pressure.

From the first words we hear in this world — “It’s a [insert gender here]” — our biological sex is the basis for how we create our identity. From then on, there are images of sex all around us: images about how men and women are supposed to present themselves, how they are supposed to act in relationships, or what kind of sexual attraction they are supposed to feel toward each other.

The next time you meet someone for the first time, challenge yourself not to create an opinion confined by sex and gender — you might start to notice how ingrained the tendency is.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Giving Kinky a Try with Your Boyfriend

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

Who’s feeling kinky? Frisky, raunchy, saucy? Just me?

Well, my friends, I got my hands on a copy of The Book of Kink: Sex Beyond the Missionary by Eva Christina, and I’ve been doing a little reading. OK, a lot of reading. And I’ve scoped out the least scary, couple-friendly, kinky things to try this weekend. Give one (or more) a go!

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Behold, my top picks from the almighty kink book to try this weekend and what my trooper (ha!) of a boyfriend, J, has to say about ’em:

1. Acousticophilia:

“Sounds are sexually arousing, whether it’s grunting, music or the simple click of a nail against a desk. Of course, there are certain types of music that are sexually provocative, but some may get more in tune with it than others.”

My take – Maybe I can simply be a little more vocal during sexy time? Or, maybe we can get a little romantic and make a sexy time playlist. J is the music man, he should be able to put something together!

J’s take – Whenever you dull one sense, the others are heightened… I think I’m more into the blindfold thing myself, but I guess this could be interesting.

2. Vincilagnia (or Rope Bondage):

“Tying up someone can be a thrill, for both the tied up and the one who ties.”

My take – I have a set of pink, furry handcuffs at home with J’s name on them. In our relationship, he’s usually the dominant one, but I think this weekend that’s going to change.

J’s take – Is it Saturday yet?

3. Sploshing:

“This fetish is all about doing everything possible with food, from sitting in it, to rolling around in it, or throwing it. The people into this fetish don’t mind cream pies thrown in their faces or sitting in water or juice. Anything food goes, except eating it. Splosh!”

My take – I think I’m a little too much of a neat freak for this one. I hate the idea of getting messy. BUT, J and I have yet to whip out the whipped cream for foreplay…

J’s take – I feel like this is one of those ideas that would look good on paper but in practice it’s just messy and gross.

4. Uniform Fetish:

“It’s not surprising that people get turned on by someone in uniform, whether it’s a fireman, French maid or cheerleader….Much of it stems from the idea that an authoritative or a submissive figure is taking or giving up control.”

My take – OK, I know J will definitely, definitely approve of this one. First of all, he’s a sucker for sexy outfits. Second, he LOVED this schoolgirl outfit I busted out a couple months ago. Maybe it’s time to bring back my best “Hit Me Baby” Britney impression.

J’s take -YES! I am a sucker for the outfits… but who isnt! Again, is it Saturday yet?

5. Balloon Fetish (or Looner):

“Balloons make children happy. They also make many adults happy. Whether it’s touching, smelling, inflating, popping or just playing with them, people get sexually turned on by balloons.”

My take – Umm, yikes! J and I are going to skip this one. But you should check out The Book of Kink if you want to read more options like this!

J’s take – A definite skip… the only latex that hits our bed will be on my junk.

So, did you learn any new vocab lessons? Do you think you’d try any of these boyfriend-friendly kinky moves this weekend? Are you a fan of kink or are you a little more conservative when it comes down to it? Do you have any other kinky faves?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Couples Christmas—Make it Sexy

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

The festive season is here and you are concerned about what to do with your spouse and what to buy to make Christmas different yet romantic.

Children often shy away from giving sexy gifts to their parents – as if Mom and Pop’s sex life is dead – but they, like the spouses, should really think outside the box and give gifts that are naughty and nice to spark the couple’s sex life. Sex is to be celebrated, especially in a monogamous relationship in which couples have grown together in the union. This provides the basis for selecting very personal gifts which would also fuel sexy activities over the holiday period. It is even more poignant if couples are experiencing the empty nest with children having grown and moved out.

Sexy Christmas for Two

If you are going to spend the holiday season with your loved one, this is an excellent chance to plan a romantic holiday, probably putting some sparkle back into your love life. The cool temperatures already set the stage for twinkling lights and soft carols as part of intimate, steamy evenings of passion.

Hotel ‘nights out’

If you are tired of the home and the efforts it will take to create the magic of the season, you could spend one or two nights in a hotel with full service. With adequate notice, any hotel should be happy to set the stage for you. This is an opportunity for children to pool funds and send parents off to a nice resort with some sexy items in tow. They should take:

  • Sexy lingerie and silk boxer shorts.
  • Scented candles for mood creation.
  • Music of choice to keep it light and easy (include a CD player).
  • Aromatic oils so you can give each other long, sensual massages.
  • Grapes or strawberries which you can feed each other as you soak in a bubble bath.
  • Champagne for sipping as you enjoy the ambience
  • Your gifts which you can open together and share.

Home together

If you are accustomed to trimming your tree, get a small one for both of you to enjoy. Decorate the tree together in a skimpy Christmas outfit and revert to the old practice of kissing under the mistletoe by hanging them around the house. Place all you gifts under the tree for opening on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.

Home-made dinner for two

A graduate from my cooking course for ‘men only’, boasted that he used his culinary skills to prepare a sensual meal to mesmerise his wife last Christmas, their 10th wedding anniversary. He made plans for lobster dinner, used the rarely-used fine china and best silverware from the breakfront and made sure that his wife and son were busy helping his mother with last-minute baking. They agreed that their son would stay with Grandma that night as the couple would be going out to dinner. When she arrived home to get dressed, she was blown away by the surprise.

Drive out for the Christmas lights

Driving out could be reminiscent of your days of courting. Drive out and look at the Christmas lights and décor in residential and shopping areas, although scaled down this year. You may want to take a blanket and snuggle close in a safe place as you enjoy the lights.

Exchange Gifts

Whether you are at a hotel or at home, exchanging gifts is one of the best parts of Christmas. What gifts can you give for that sex appeal? Naughty gifts are ideal since both of you will be together and no one will see what you got each other.

  • Breakfast in bed is always appreciated and starts foreplay of what is to come later. You can place one exciting gift at breakfast.
  • Sexy robes are easy to slip on and off and they are nice to wrap in as you stroll about the house.
  • You can buy sexy Christmas-themed outfits to wear for the rest of the day while you goof around.
  • Sex games for lovers.
  • Toys are toys, so adult sex toys should not be excluded. These can indulge your fantasies and add variety to your intimacy.
  • Sexy books with a range of topics to suit him or her.

You can search sites online which would provide hundreds of topics you know your partner would like. Also, consider a book for lovers, focusing on how to spice up your love life. It does not have to be explicit or full of photos that make you uncomfortable. Couples can read passionate literature to each other as they may not want to go the mainstream route like watching X-rated movies. Why not give one another passionate books and read passages to one another? You can spice it up by acting out romantic scenes from the descriptive books and you will be able to learn from each other.

Stocking stuffers for her may include:

 

  • A personal coupon for a one-hour massage.
  • Gourmet chocolates.
  • A gift certificate for her favourite restaurant.
  • Bath products like bubble bath, shower gel and lush soap.
  • Her favourite perfume or body spray.
  • Bath toys for couples.
  • A diamond bracelet, necklace, or ring or some other type of jewellery.

Stocking stuffers for him to cater to his fantasies and passions may include:

 

  • Sexy lingerie for you, with a promise that you will model it for him later.
  • A personal handmade coupon for his favourite sexual activity, to be performed on demand.
  • A gift card to his favourite store, hobby shop, car-parts store, or whatever his interests are.
  • His favourite fragrance.
  • A life-size photo of you in a sexy outfit for the bedroom (G-strings and high-heels are exciting).
  • French tickler condoms to provide added stimulation.

Wrap it sexy

To make your gift sexy, use your imagination and wrap it in a sexy way. For creativity and recycling, you can create your own wrapping paper by using pages from a sexy magazine.

Christmas does not have to be boring for you and your lover. Be creative and get stores and gift shops to help you. Make this Christmas one your spouse will never forget by spicing it up with sexy gifts and activities this holiday season.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

These Christmas Cookies Increase Sexual Appetite

by zfortadminin Sex

Ever wondered how these Christmas cookies increase your sexual drive?

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA
Christmas cookies have multiple advantages. (Photo: Clara from Austria / Wikimedia Commons)

Not only do they taste good – they also have a special effect on your brain’s reward system. Therefore, this year you can eat as many Christmas cookies you want without feeling guilty.

During Christmas, we eat a lot of good food and gingerbread, sirupsnipper (syrup collars) and spiced cakes are common in Norwegian homes. However, researchers have found that the taste can give you more pleasure than just good coffee bread.

– Because of the spices, the cookies increase your sex drive, says Associate Professor of Pharmacology at the University of Tromsø, Aina W. Ravna to NRK.no.

Affects the Brain

Many of the spices used in traditional Christmas cookies such as cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, cloves and nutmeg contain substances that increases your libido. It also has an affect against depression.

The brain has a reward system where the molecule dopamine plays an important role. When you have a positive experience the level of dopamine increases. This also happens when you eat food containing the typical Christmas spices.

– The spices contain substances that affects the dopamine levels. This means that gingerbread can get you in a better mood and increase your sex drive, Ravna continues.

Moreover, in combination with chocolate the effect is even better.

– Chocolate contains a substance similar to dopamine that makes you feel horny and in love, she smiles.

Cinnamon Is the Winner

Cinnamon contains cinnamaldehyde – a substance with chemical structure similar to the body’s own dopamine where low doses stimulates and high doses makes you sedative. Modern research confirms that cinnamon boosts the sexual appetite.

– Research shows that freshly baked cinnamon buns was the smell that had the most effect on men’s libido, Ravna tells.

Good for Depression and Colds

The Christmas spices are also beneficial for those affected by the dark season, and for people with a cold.

– Mexican hot chocolate is brilliant. It is common cocoa added cinnamon and cardamom among other. It is a very good drink for the season, she concludes.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

10 Sex Secrets to a Happy Marriage

by zfortadminin Sex

Writer Brian Orme says, “I’m 41 years old, and have been married to the same beautiful woman for almost two decades. Over the years I’ve had to work through some myths and misconceptions about sex.

Many of these misconceptions started early, before I was married, and they’ve taken years to straighten out. If I could send 10 sex and intimacy tips to myself before I was married, this is exactly what I’d say.

Sexual intimacy doesn’t happen like it does on TV or in the movies

Much of what you know about sex comes from advertising, TV and the movies. In other words, sex looks like a spontaneous, flawless connection of love-making filled with romance, music and candles in windowsills. Sexual intimacy does not work like that. Don’t be disappointed — real sexual intimacy is different than the movies, but it’s much better in the long run.

A note on frequency. Brace yourself.

Right now you’re thinking marriage is filled with sex almost every second of the day and thousands of times a week. You should live in this dream world for as long as you can and ride your trusty unicorn into the Skittle-stained sunset where you pet your wild Ewok and cross the Bridge to Terabithia. Stay there. As long as you can. That is all.

Sex is like fine wine — it gets better with age

Sexual intimacy is something you get better and better at. It takes communication, practice and time. Right now you think your sex IQ is at a genius level, but you really don’t know everything.

Sex is not just about getting, but giving

Are you laughing? I’m serious. Sex is something that requires both of you to give. And it’s good to give. Don’t be a taker all the time. Sexual intimacy is a great place to model sacrifice and service. If you get that into your head now, the getting will be even better. There’s great beauty and mystery in the giving. Be generous.

Men and women don’t think about sex the same way

For you, sex is wrapped up in physical attraction and it’s very visual and instantaneous. However, you might want to sit down for this one. Women think about sex in terms of the relationship, their security and how much they feel loved and pursued. For you, sex is like a light switch without a dimmer — you’re totally ready at any moment. For her, sex is like a crockpot that takes a good part of the day to come to a simmer. You will both be frustrated by this. That’s okay; it’s part of God’s wiring to bring you together on a deeper level.

Sex doesn’t complete you

Right now, you are putting a ton of stock in the power, importance and value of sex. Let’s be honest, you think about it constantly. You need to know sexual intimacy is fantastic and satisfying and incredible in so many ways, but it’s not meant to be an idol. You will need to fight this and work to keep sex in proper perspective — as a gift from God to be enjoyed in marriage.

Sex can be fun and funny and playful

There are many angles of sexual intimacy, and some of them you’re totally unaware of right now. You think of sex in one dimension — serious pleasure. However, sexual intimacy done right is a form of vulnerability and authenticity, and when you totally love someone and have nothing to hide — and I mean nothing — you are free to be your truest self.

Be romantic and pursue her

Make sure she knows you want her in more ways than just the physical. Pursue her mind. Pursue her heart. Pursue her in every way possible. Remember, she doesn’t think about sex like you do — you’re all skin and eyeballs, and she’s all heart and soul.

It’s more mysterious than you think

Again, right now your thoughts about sex are pretty simple. You’re stuck in the physical, but God designed sexual intimacy to be way more complex than two bodies finding their way together. It’s hard to explain and I don’t fully understand it, but something magical happens in the act of sex, something cosmic that links you to her in a way that’s soul deep.

Sex in marriage is a form of worship

Most of your thoughts about worship are confined to religious places. So, when I say sex is worship, you probably think I’m nuts. But soon you’ll get a bigger picture. It’s a fun point in our spiritual journey. You can have unashamed, unabashed, unadulterated sex as often as you want with your partner.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Top 20 Turnoffs of Women

by zfortadminin Sex

You Might Not Enjoy Hearing It, But Here’s What Turns Women Off

Women are used to being told what men find attractive, and also what makes their skin crawl. Every second article in most women’s magazines is a list of things to avoid wearing or doing because men don’t find it arousing, repeated so often that most of us can list them off from memory: Don’t wear red lipstick, hats or wedges; don’t be a starfish in the bedroom who never initiates sex; and don’t nag or be too clingy.

Rarely is the reverse true. Sure, there is the occasional article about what women want and what we hate, but it isn’t hammered into men to the same degree, and women are starting to notice the disparity:

So in the interests of fairness, and for the sake of helping men who date women get an idea about where they might be going wrong, I put the question to my Twitter followers, and –– lo and behold! — women began spilling their biggest turnoffs with abandon. Here are the top 20:

1. You Have Long, Dirty Or Unkempt Fingernails

This one comes up so often it’s worth keeping at the front of your mind: Dirty or uncared-for nails are an instant, stomach-turning turn-off for large swaths of women, especially if you’re trying to put those nails near our bodies. Take care of your hands!

2. You’re Rude To Waiters Or Other Service Workers

Rudeness is a turn-off, for both genders, period. It can, however, take a while for people’s true colors to start peeping through, and so women are paying close attention to how you treat people who serve you for clues about how you might treat us further down the line.

3. You Have Bad Shoes

What counts as a bad shoe is clearly subjective, but one thing’s for sure: women are looking at your shoes. If you’ve put effort into the rest of your outfit but none into those things that cover your feet, your prospective love interests are likely to be marking you down.

4. You Tune Out While She’s Speaking

It’s the ultimate sign of disrespect if you can’t be bothered listening to a person when they’re speaking. It’s doubly insulting to get that treatment from a man you’re dating; someone who’s presumably meant to support and care about you. Mark my words, fellas: Men who don’t listen don’t last long.

via GIPHY

5. You Don’t Use Deodorant

This is a personal hygiene matter that women take issue with on a mass scale. It shouldn’t come as a big surprise, but if you are reeking of B.O., women won’t exactly flock to you. Deodorant is a must.

6. You’re Selfish

Whether it’s ignoring our pleasure in the bedroom or turning a blind eye our needs outside of it, selfish men are, without exception, incredibly unappealing to women.

7. You’re Hard To Read During Sex

This is basically the male equivalent of a women who’s a starfish in the bedroom. It’s hard to know if you’re pleasing someone in bed if they give you no visual or verbal feedback, and women consistently report this as a bedroom-based turn-off. Please, guys, show us a little appreciation — or if things aren’t working out, at least tell us where we’re going wrong!

8. You Tell Her She’s “Not Like Other Girls”

We get that this one’s meant to be a compliment, but dude, what the hell?! All this sounds like to us is, “I have a low opinion of women in general, but I’ve decided that you’re a special snowflake. Please enjoy this high praise.” It’s not a compliment to be told we’re not like other girls, because there’s nothing wrong with being a girl, and — surprise! — the vast majority of girls actually like each other.

9. You Constantly Interrupt Her

C’mon, my guy: Can we at least finish our line of thought before you steamroll over us?

10. You Refer To Women As “Females”

This is a popular peeve: We’re human women, not antelopes, and “female” is an adjective, not a noun. It’s a really simple fix –- just call us “women.”

11. You Tell Her To “Lighten Up” When Your Friends Say Bigoted Things

This one comes up aplenty, and the casual use of slurs against people of color, women or LGBTQ people ranks as equally unimpressive. If you’re behaving like a bigot then we don’t need to lighten up; in fact, it’s a hint that you and your friends need to grow up and exercise some restraint.Bonus turnoff points: You don’t call out your friends for their misogyny when they demonstrate it, but try to placate us behind the scenes. Nice try!

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How Long FOREPLAY and SEX Really Last

by zfortadminin Sex

Ever wonder what real women in real bedrooms are doing under the duvet covers?

Glamour surveyed 1,000 young women for their answers on a typical night in, timed. Here’s how many minutes you say foreplay and sex last:

15-couple-kissing-in-bed

Average Length of Sex and Foreplay

Less than 5 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 23%
    • Sex: 8%

5 to 9 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 33%
    • Sex: 25%

10 to 14 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 24%
    • Sex: 28%

15 to 19 minutes:

    • Foreplay: 12%
    • Sex: 17%

20 minutes or more:

    • Foreplay: 8%
    • Sex: 22%

So, according to our survey, the majority of you spend 5 to 9 minutes on foreplay and 10 to 14 minutes on sex. How many minutes do you spend?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How to Achieve the 12 Varieties of Orgasm

by zfortadminin Sex

Are you satisfied with your sex life?

As a sex-positive, intersectional feminist and sexologist, I hate hearing that people aren’t having great sex or aren’t experiencing enough full-bodied pleasure in the act. We deserve to have regular orgasms. Although many of us are still learning, debating, and practicing (the best part), what’s essential is understanding that we are all capable of experiencing orgasm in a variety of different ways.

Cue Nicki Minaj. Her Minajesty recently announced that “[she] demand(s) that [she] climaxes” and that every woman should demand the same. She goes on to say that giving and receiving pleasure should be 50/50. Whatever 50/50 looks like to you in any given sexual encounter or experience, that’s up to you and your partner to negotiate before, during, and after.

Seriously friends: Your body is capable of some of the most intense, satisfying, and healing energy-producing force. An admirable sex expert Lou Paget says that vagina-bearers can experience 10 different types of orgasms, while penis-bearers can have eight. But, I think there are 12.

Betty Dodson, the Godmother of Orgasms, has some of the best tips and advice about climaxing. Dodson speaks to the experience of the orgasm via the lens of what it feels like — not just the mechanics of what makes it happen. She says “clitoral and penile orgasms result from stimulation of the pudendal pathway, while orgasms that result from G spot, vaginal, and rectal stimulation often involve the pelvic nerve. Stimulating the pelvic nerve, via the rectum, can also lead to pleasure in some surprising ways.”

From healing migraines and relieving stress to soothing pain, boosting your immune system, and giving your body an effective workout, orgasms really are a cure-all.

So, let’s take a look at 12 types of orgasms — and how you can achieve them.

G SPOT ORGASM

Some experts say this small, spongy area above the front vaginal wall is a myth. Otherwise known as the Graffenberg spot, it is, according to Lelo, “the most mysterious of erogenous zones. For some, it’s downright mythical, with the big G’s mere existence still subject to ongoing debate. Try telling that to the estimated 30% of women reporting that they achieve their orgasms through penetration alone.”

Exactly. It doesn’t really matter if you believe it or not — what matters is this: If applying pressure to this mysterious area in your body feels fantastic, then go for it.

How to have one? Use a circular “come hither” motion and with applied pressure, and massage the area slowly. Don’t be afraid to get your hands a little wet and maximize orgasmic potential by gently having the labia kissed at the same time.

BREAST/NIPPLE ORGASM

According to a study reported on Science of Relationships, “researchers discovered that stimulation of the nipple activated an area of the brain known as the genital sensory cortex. This is the same brain region activated by stimulation of the clitoris, vagina, and cervix. What this means is that women’s brains seem to process nipple and genital stimulation in the same way.”

So, it IS possible! Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that our brains are actually the biggest sex organ that we have — and their influence on how we experience pleasure on the whole is huge.

KISSING/ORAL ORGASM

Your lips are packed with closely set nerve endings, classified as a mucocutaneous region of the body similar to the outer vulva, nipples, and clitoris. This means that they have the power to get you aroused.

This type of orgasm requires some time commitment. Slow lip synching, tongue rolling, and teasing are all part of building up your arousal and should, in my opinion, be a part of foreplay all the time, anyway. Achieving orgasm this way requires deep focus, but it can happen.

ANAL ORGASM

Yes, your butt. For many women, anal intercourse feels fantastic.

If you want to try it, use a healthy dose of lube and slowly work your way in and around the anal area, while preparing for penetration. Anal penetration should at first be a slow process, especially if you’re new to the sensation. The tight muscles and thin epithelial cell layer within are subject to tearing, but they are also able to provide you with sensational pleasure. Graduated bead strands are a good starter toy to add to your sex toolbox.

U-SPOT ORGASM

The urethra. Yes, the pee hole. Surprised? Well, as Lou Paget states in her educational interviews, the urethra is actually surrounded on three sides by the clitoris. This is because your clitoris is actually a lot bigger than you think it is — it goes three to five inches deep inside you. When your U-spot is stimulated, the erectile tissue surrounding the opening engorges with blood, thus triggering the Skene’s Glands to produce prostatic fluid (the stuff of squirting) and you to become aroused.

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6 SEX New Year’s Resolutions for Couples

by zfortadminin Sex

These resolutions sure beat dieting and promising to go to the gym.

Enough with the resolutions about diets and gym memberships. As midlifers, we know there are more important changes to make in your life for improved health and well-being, stronger self-esteem and better relationships. And while a few may involve the kitchen (wink, wink), nobody is talking about dieting here. H/T to Leah Millheiser, Nuelle’s chief scientific officer, for these marvelous Sexolutions:

1. The bedroom will not be used for electronics unless they vibrate.

No, we don’t mean your phone on vibrate mode. Bedrooms are for sleeping, relaxing and love-making. There is no room for smart phones, iPads, laptops or televisions. Bedrooms are sacred spaces and should be afforded their due.

2. Exercise all your muscles.

Working out stimulates the body and the brain and of course helps burn calories and releases endorphins. All good stuff, notes Millheiser. But, ahem, aren’t you forgetting something? The Kegel muscles — AKA the love muscles — wrap around the vagina and anus. Working them helps strengthen the pelvic floor, which supports the bladder, rectum, uterus, and vagina. Kegel exercises can improve your general health, give you better control over urinary and bowel functions, and also make sex sensational again because strong Kegels heighten your arousal, enhance your orgasms, improve blood circulation to the genitals, and increase vaginal tone and lubrication.

3. Think arousing thoughts.

Be in touch with your sensual self. Building self-confidence in your sex life will only improve it, Millheiser notes. Build a mind-body connection. News flash: You won’t be the first person in the world to see George Clooney when you close your eyes.

4. Install a bedroom door lock.

Maybe Millheiser has met your Golden Retriever who moves from the foot of the bed to between Mom and Dad when things start to get interesting. She says it is wise to keep the kids and pets at bay and distractions to a minimum. Clearly she knows from whence she speaks.

5. Talk more, fester less.

Let your partner know what you want. The more you discuss your likes and dislikes, the easier it is to have your needs met. Nobody is a mind reader. Being upset because you think your partner “should know” something makes no sense — and won’t improve your relationship or sex life. Tell them, not your best friend, when things aren’t happening for you.

6. Make it fun.

Sex toys, role-playing, whatever gets your engines revving — go for it.

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Original Article

Be Better in Bed this Year

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

Consider this your better-sex boot camp

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need a working knowledge of 52 sex positions or a background in porn to be ridiculously good in bed. Instead, it comes down to more subtle (and realistic) factors that you may already posses. And if you don’t, we’re here to help you hone the skills you really need to blow your partner’s mind.

YOU’RE NOT JUDGMENTAL

Whether it’s hearing out your partner’s fantasy or allowing yourself to really identify your own, being open to different desires and turn-ons is essential in a partner, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. “Remember it’s all in the realm of fantasy—it’s not something you ever have to do,” says Kerner. So put aside your judgments and really listen to the desires of you and your partner. You may find that you’re into some really interesting stuff. (And if that happens to be BDSM, here’s how to have the “bad girl” sex of your dreams!)

YOU’RE INNOVATIVE

We see the arm of a couch, you see a great prop for doggie style. We see a bra, you see a bondage tool. Being creative and looking for new ways to spice things up is crucial in a lover, says sex and relationship therapist Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples. “Someone who says ‘let’s dress up,’ or ‘let’s go into the closet,’ or anything that’s a bit more interesting is great,” says Schwartz. Get creative with these 11 places you need to have sex at least once in your life.

YOU THINK ABOUT SEX—A LOT

And we don’t just mean while you’re getting busy or whenever you see that so-sexy-it-should-be-illegal guy at your gym. “Sex has a strong mental component,” says Kerner. So pay attention when you have a sensual thought or feel randomly aroused throughout the day, and don’t immediately dismiss it. “Allow yourself to feel eroticized and observe what’s sexy around you,” says Kerner. Still don’t believe your brain and your libido are connected? Check out exactly what’s going on in your brain during an orgasm.

YOU’RE ABLE TO PUT SOMEONE ELSE’S NEEDS ABOVE YOUR OWN

Practicing compassion in every area of your life is clutch, but practicing it in the bedroom can make you a seriously good sex partner. We’re not suggesting youalways put the other person first (after all, your orgasms are important too), but it can be really hot to focus on pleasing your partner every once in a while, just for the sake of satisfying them. “Maybe it’s going for it in the morning when your boyfriend typically wants to have sex,” says Kerner. Or maybe it’s indulging in a position they love or treating them to oral that isn’t just a precursor to the main event, says Kerner. It’s not about being selfless all the time, but rather about treating your partner how you’d like to be treated. We promise, these generous acts will not go unnoticed.

YOU’LL TRY (ALMOST) EVERYTHING ONCE

“It’s hard to be good in bed if you only do what you know and don’t do anything but that,” says Schwartz. “You don’t have to be willing to swing from trees, but you should have that feeling of ‘it could be fun!’ or ‘why not?'” Obviously, if your partner is dying to have a threesome and you’re not into it, then it’s perfectly justified to say no. But when it comes to new tricks, tips, and techniques, we suggest giving it shot—like these six adventurous sex tips from erotic novelists. Hey, you might love it.

YOU ENJOY SOLO TIME

No, not with your Netflix, with your vagina. Someone who is in tune with her body and aware of what feels good will be a better lover and will enjoy sex more. Women can forget how fun and pleasurable masturbation can be, especially when they’re in a relationship; and although some may think that masturbating will make you less interested in sex, very often the opposite is true, says Kerner. So use these self-love tips and check out 21 ways to have even more fun with masturbation. And if you feel like you’re neglecting your partner, there’s no harm in inviting them to watch.

YOU’RE NOT SELF-CONSCIOUS

Think of the best sex you’ve ever had—chances are your partner was passionate, enthusiastic, and just oozing sex appeal. We’re willing to bet they weren’t worried about their body, making sure the lights were off, or complaining about their belly. We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: Confidence is the sexiest asset you can have. “Someone who says, ‘I’m sexy any way I look,’ pretty much has you believing it,” says Schwartz. For tips, read these 10 ways to be confident, ballsy, and sexy as hell in bed.

YOU KNOW WHEN TO GET A LITTLE LOUD AND CRAZY

Being able to let loose, let go, and be a bit uncensored is a great attribute in a partner. For one thing, you’ll be less inhibited, which is always sexy. Another reason: Men said that one thing they really want in a lover is for them to make some more noise, says Schwartz of a study she conducted for The Normal Bar. “Men aren’t always sure what women want and if she’s enjoying herself if she’s not giving them any direction. They want to use those sounds as direction.” This can be anything from a well-timed moan to words or phrases, like “harder,” “slower,” or “right there.” Get more advice on the art of dirty talk, right here.

YOU’RE SPONTANEOUS

When we asked real men about the hottest thing a woman has ever done during sex, a major theme emerged: taking the reins and doing something surprising or spontaneous. From waking them up with a blowjob or waiting on the bed in lingerie, these are little things that make a huge impact because they’re so out-of-the-blue. Get some ideas with these sex tips from real women.

YOU’RE PHYSICALLY FIT

Researchers know that being physically fit and active is a big aphrodisiac for women, but it can also make you better in bed. For instance, exercise boosts focus, revs up your libido, enhances your endurance, and helps you gain confidence. So pull double-duty with this better-sex workout.

YOU CAN LAUGH AT YOURSELF

Someone who is great in bed can see the fun and humor in any situation, because come on, sex should be a good time. As sex expert Logan Levkoff, Ph.D., recently told us, “You may not remember the strongest orgasm you’ve ever had, but you’ll remember the time you fell off the bed because you were so into it that you didn’t realize you were on the edge.” Weird noises, sounds, and failed positions happen, but if you can roll with it and still enjoy yourself, that’s what makes someone amazing in the sack.

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Original Article

Want to Fall Deeper in Love? Take Up These Sex Habits

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

Sex can be, and can be used for, so many different things. But early in a relationship, once you get through a couple of awkward rounds, sex can play a big role in building intimacy and even falling in love.

There is sex that is straight up sex for sex’s sake— passionate, charged, carnal. There’s awkward, first-time with someone you really like sex. There’s random hookup sex. There’s long-term couple trying to spice it up sex. The list goes on—but building intimacy during sex is one we rarely talk about.

Warning: The following sex acts may lead to the awkward “Oh crap one of us said “I love you” during sex— does it count!?” dilemma. Don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. It’s no need to be embarrassed, even if it is really awkward. Just remember you’re not alone. (And the generally consensus seems to be that it doesn’t really count.) Between a really intimate act that you’re doing, heart racing, hormones all over the place, it’s so easy to let it slip out in the moment.

But what are the more intimate sex acts? The ones that can make you feel so connected to your partner and overwhelmed with emotions? Here are 6 sex acts that help build intimacy.

1. Kissing

I know it may seem basic, but don’t discount kissing as a very important sex act. And maybe the most intimate one. Along with cuddling, a lot of people avoid kissing during one-night stands because of this. It’s something we do all the time, but sometimes we can get distracted during sex and not do it as much as we should. But if you stick to positions where kissing is an option, you’ll really feel connected to your partner.

2. Missionary

Maybe because it’s sort of the classic go-to position, there’s definitely something romantic about it. Your faces and your entire bodies are very, very close, and the weight of whoever is on top keeps you in constant contact. And it’s not just for hetero sex. So whoever you are, there can be all the eye contact, kissing, and intimacy you can handle.

3. Oral Sex

Oral sex is intimate no matter what, because you’re getting up close in personal with parts of the body we’re normally taught should be kept hidden. But while every man I’ve ever met unselfconsciously loves a blow job, a lot of women find someone going down on them incredibly intimate— almost intimidatingly so. Maybe it’s because you end up with someone’s tongue basically, or definitely, inside you, or maybe it’s just that we’re taught to be even more ashamed of our vulva and that people don’t like going down on it. (Both of which are ridiculous.) In any case, for a lot of women getting to a point where you’re completely comfortable with oral sex means a whole lot of trust.

4. Undressing

When you’re new in a relationship it’s probably all about tearing each other’s clothes off, but then it slows down. I’m not saying you need some kind of big cheesy striptease, or to make a whole event out of it, but there’s something really sexy and romantic about building up from just a bit of kissing, to heavy kissing, to feeling each other, and then slowly going beneath the clothing and removing them completely. All of that combined with making out can be a really connect you to your partner.

5. Side-By-Side

Similarly to missionary, having sex facing each other, both of you on your side, has the benefit of all over contact and your faces being close for kissing, or just some sickly-sweet staring into each other eyes. But while in missionary, one person is definitely dominant within the position, when you have sex side-by-side there’s a more even playing field. Especially if you’re having lesbian sex and mutually fingering each other, it’s a really leveling, connecting position.

6. Post-Sex Cuddle

If you are a better person than me and lay there without making a horrible awkward joke, it’s when you kind of bask in a little love halo (if you’re having sex with someone you have romantic feelings for). Taking some time to relax into that and just enjoy it is a sure way to build intimacy.

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Original Article

Sleeping Nude… And All the Benefits for You

by zfortadminin Sex

Reportedly, when Hollywood actress Marilyn Monroe said that she wore just her favourite brand of perfume, when going to bed, the star was laughed at.

However, studies done in the recent past state that sleeping in the buff can do you a lot of good. It not only improves your health, but also works on the psychological level by improving your self-image and therefore, your relationship with your partner in bed. Wellness expert and relationship counsellor, Dr Sanjoy Mukerji explains that shedding clothes in bed is like shedding your inhibitions. “Usually, you declutter your mind by doing various things like meditation. Likewise, the body feels the need to be free. Nakedness in bed also harbours a positive psychosomatic effect. The reason to encourage couples to sleep naked is to increase the intimacy and openness due to nudity and the feeling of oneness.

The scientific reason to it is that our body releases certain chemicals which make our mind feel happy and romantic, leading to increased sexual intimacy,” he adds. The skin-to-skin contact also releases antidepressant hormones which help lift the mood. To add to the benefits, sleeping with no clothes on not only improves your love life, but also wards off infections, trims your waistline and makes you less exhausted. City-based sexologist, Dr Rajan Bhonsle agrees to the fact that wearing bare minimum clothes at night or going completely nude has its health benefits. “If a man wears very tight undergarments, there are chances of him experiencing a drop in his sperm count or a fall in libido or sexual arousal. For women, wearing tight lingerie can give rise to breathing issues and can also lead to fungal infections in genital areas,” he says. However, Dr S Ramnathan Iyer, a consultant physician of sleep medicine, warns that in India, people are not exposed to the benefits of sleeping naked as they are in the West. “I would advise people to take things one at a time. People who suffer from disorders like sleep-walking should avoid sleeping in the nude, as it may put them in an embarrassing situation,” he says. “To sleep naked or with loose-fitting clothes should be an individual’s choice as having a comfortable and conducive environment is of prime importance,” concludes Dr Iyer.

Health benefits of sleeping nude

Prevents insomnia

A recent Australian study concluded that a drop in core body temperature is needed to initiate sleep. The body pushes the heat out from the core like a radiator and releases it. Sleeping naked allows the heat to release more quickly, and helps you fall asleep faster.

Helps a deeper, longer sleep

The study also showed that the regulation of in-bed body temperature could significantly help in getting a deeper sleep for longer periods of time.

Fights off excess belly fat

Natural body cooling at night helps you lower your cortisol levels. A high level of cortisol stimulates your appetite for comfort foods leading to belly fat. Sleeping longer also increases the rate of metabolism that helps digest food better.

Better blood flow

The increase in circulation, along with not wearing tight-fitting clothes benefits the heart, muscles, and arteries as the oxygen-rich blood flows to your extremities.

Acts as an anti-ageing agent
Sleep triggers the release of growth hormones and melatonin, which are the most vital anti-ageing hormones. So, the more you sleep, the better it is. l

Improves self-esteem and acceptance

Theories suggest that the more time you spend in the nude, the more comfortable you feel in your skin. And the more comfortable you feel, the more confidently you’ll behave, making you happier and more attractive to others.

Boosts sex life

Skin-to-skin contact with your partner can boost the release of oxytocin in your body. Oxytocin is a powerful, feel-good hormone, which is needed for orgasm and sexual responsiveness, dealing with stress, and combating depression.

Wards off skin diseases

Airing out the skin all over your body, especially in areas like your feet, armpits, and genitals, means a lowered risk for skin diseases like athlete’s foot.

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Sex, Food and the Priorities of the Male Brain

by zfortadminin Sex

Science has disproved that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach when researchers found that men’s need for sex can override his need for food.

Researchers from the University College London found that the male brain has specific neurons that can override the desire to eat for sex, according to their study published in the journal Nature. The researchers actually discovered this in the brains of nematode worms, but they believe human brains have those neurons as well.

The scientists used the Caenorhabditis elegans in their research. This worm species has two sexes: male and hermaphrodite. The hermaphrodites – in essence modified females – carry their own sperm and can reproduce asexually. The newly discovered brain cells, named by the researchers as MCMs or “mystery cells of the male,” only appear in males that are sexually mature.

The worms are conditioned to think that they could go hungry if salt was presented to them and learned to avoid the material as much as they could. However, if males are in the same vicinity of the females, even with the presence of salt, the male worms still seek out their mates.

This proved to the scientists that the desire to copulate was stronger than the threat of hunger for male worms.

“Though the work is carried out in a small worm, it nevertheless gives us a perspective that helps us appreciate and possibly understand the variety of human sexuality, sexual orientation and gender identification,” study co-author and professor Scott Emmons from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine said.

He added that, while it is yet to be proven true in humans, their findings imply the possibility that the human male brain may be wired differently from the human female, at least in this aspect.

“This may change how the two sexes perceive the world and their behavioral priorities,” Emmons said.

Interestingly enough, the female worms don’t express the same urge as they continue to avoid the salt at any cost, even if it meant avoiding potential mates.

The difference in behavior between sexes provided researchers with a better insight on how each gender perceived the priorities of their needs. In this situation, the males’ neural composition allowed them to prioritize sex in future situations.

“In the broader picture, it gets at this question of how do men and women think and behave differently,” said University College London researcher Richard Poole. “We always wonder, do we have different learning aptitudes or is it social, and in this case, it happens to be genetic.”

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