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9 Tips for the Partner with a Higher Sex Drive

by zfortadminin Sex

Great tips to even the sexual desire playing field!

If you are someone whose sexual desire needs no boosting, but your partner is not, that doesn’t mean that you sit back and wait for him or her to change—you are equally responsible for changing how you handle this issue. This post will offer you nine tips to approach your spouse in ways that will increase the likelihood that she or he will want to be close to you:

1. Don’t take it personally.

Differences in sexual desire among couples are very common. Although it is hard to have your advances rejected repeatedly without taking it personally, you need to remind yourself that a partner’s lack of interest in sex just may not be about you, your attractiveness, or your qualities as a human being. It may be a matter of a hormone deficiency or other physiological problems—or feelings the person has about himself or herself. Although you undoubtedly want things to change, try to develop a little empathy. Chances are, given the choice, he or she would prefer to feel turned on easily. It’s no picnic to feel disinterested in something your spouse or partner thrives on. He or she may feel inadequate, for example. The situation hurts you, but don’t underestimate how painful it is for your partner. Even if he or she acts defensively, your partner probably spends lots of time wondering why things aren’t easier between you. Try to be understanding.

2. Break free from the Catch-22.

If you are a man whose partner is less interested in sex than you, start paying attention to your friendship. Many women are wired this way—they can’t get turned on unless they feel close to you. This means doing the things that are important to her—doing things as a couple, pitching in more at home, being more available, and asking about her day. These are the things that can soften a woman’s heart. Do small things as well: Bring her a cup of coffee in the morning. Leave a note professing your love. Call her from work just to say you’re thinking of her. Bring home a single rose. Show your affection through random acts of kindness. She may be more likely to want to be close to you sexually when you do.

If your wife has been rejecting your advances, the last thing you might feel like doing is being kind and thoughtful. All I can say is that if you want to improve your sex life and your wife needs to feel close to you emotionally as a prerequisite, doing the things that bring you closer to her is the only way you are going to get there. You can either hold out because you’re angry, or break free of the Catch-22 and be loving. Experiment and watch what happens. Friendship is a great aphrodisiac.

If you are a woman and the more highly-sexual partner, the same theory applies: So many men have told me that their wives’ nagging about such issues really turns them off. Men can become passive-aggressive, agreeing to your demands but turning off to you emotionally and sexually. Why not approach things differently? You might feel hurt or rejected or unsexy because your spouse has been apathetic, but don’t be critical, be kind. Be complimentary. Catch your husband in the act of doing something right and tell him about it.

Look at your own behavior as well: Figure out what you might be doing that could be making your partner respond defensively. Become more of the person he wants you to be and he might become more of the person you want him to be.

3. Do something different.

Without knowing you, I can say with some certainty that your “more of the same” behavior has been to pursue your spouse for sex. And since this has become a heated, ongoing issue, you’ve gotten into roles with each other. You pursue him or her for sex, and he or she declines. The more you push, the more your partner feels pressured or angry and pulls away.

It’s time for you to try a new approach.

First, back off for a while. No matter how attracted you might be to your spouse or how ready you might be to make love, for a certain period of time you should commit to not approaching him or her. Do not initiate sex for a while and see what happens. Don’t talk about this plan; just back off and wait. Sometimes the lower-sexed person simply needs more time to allow his or her batteries to recharge. When the tug of war has ended, he or she might feel more amorous. It’s worth a shot.

Backing off isn’t easy, especially if you’re feeling turned on. But if you haven’t tried it yet, at least for a few weeks at a time, put this on your short list of things to try.

Also, stop talking about sex and focus on yourself for a change. You may have been so focused on your relationship, at least the sexual part of it, that you have probably put your other needs aside. Rather than arguing about what is or isn’t happening in your relationship, use the time to focus on yourself and find things to do that fulfill you. Go out with friends. Join a health club. Volunteer. Once your partner sees you focusing on yourself rather than your sex life, he or she just might want to be more involved in your life—in every way.

Or do a 180: Wouldn’t it just blow your partner’s mind if you were to tell him or her that you have been doing some reading and that you now have a better understanding about his or her feelings and you’re sorry about all the fighting? Think about it: Your partner has been making you feel like a sex maniac and you’ve been making him or her feel like a celibate. You’re convinced that you’re right and he or she is convinced of the opposite. And where has all of that gotten you? I can’t guarantee that telling your spouse that you understand his or her feelings better will make your partner want to jump into bed, I can tell you that making your spouse “wrong” won’t.

4. Focus on what works.

Have there been times in your marriage when your sex life was more passionate? (Yes, I know, in the very beginning—newness makes hormones run amuck. That is not the case any longer.) Examine your marriage beyond the very beginning. Ask yourself, “What was different about the times when my spouse was more interested in sex?” See if any of those conditions are reproducible. Then reproduce them.

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Top 5 Songs to Fall in Love To

by Alexandra Norrisin LOVE

Summer, the season that gets the lion’s share of credit for getting us all some of that sweet lovin’, is upon us!  What better time to reflect on the ongoing soundtrack of our journey through great loves.

Below are my personal favorites.

Such Great Heights – Postal Service

I fell in love with my first grown-up love to this song. I was tour managing for a band and he was in advertising school and an aspiring singer-songwriter. This was one of those songs where you feel like each line relates to you. I remember once being in the tech booth during a sound check on the road and it came on over the PA system and it instantly made my insides into a pile of warm jelly.

NightCall – Kavinsky

This may seem like an odd choice to fall in love. I have been on a few dates with different men where they played the movie “Drive” for me, more on that another time. There is no denying the sexy coolness of this soundtrack. While arguably creepy, my boyfriend at the time and I delighted in calling each other up after dusk and whisper singing the lines into each other’s answering machine. It made us laugh, it brought us closer, and inevitably my childhood crush on The Gos paid off for us all and this song became thematic in our love.

Time – Jungle

My current boyfriend has struggled to find the middle part on our musical venn diagram where we meet throughout our relationship. Spotify and Pandora are both exclusively instrumental movie soundscapes for him; while I mostly like songs with words. Jungle have created some of my favourite music videos and their music transcends generations. He will often put their station on Pandora and look at me as if to suggest I should be very impressed and wooed immediately by this gesture. Admittedly, after I’ve finished laughing at him, it works. Time is possibly the most effective at cracking the shackles around my heart.

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How you Can Change your Marriage in 6 hours

by zfortadminin Mind

Only a few minutes extra a week can greatly improve your relationship!

When John Gottman talks, I listen.

Actually, I’ve never heard him talk, but when he writes, I read.

So when a newly revised edition of his best-selling “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” (Harmony Books) hit my desk, I cracked it open immediately.

Gottman is a psychology professor at the University of Washington and the founder/director of the Gottman Institute, a marital research and counseling center in Seattle.

Maybe you’ve read about his theory on “master couples” versus “disaster couples.”

Co-authored with Nan Silver, “Seven Principles,” which has sold a million-plus copies, was first released in 1999 — before Tinder, before Facebook — heck, before some of us even had cell phones.

The updated version offers tips for dealing with digital distractions, including Gottman’s suggestion to agree on rules of tech etiquette: How much are you comfortable with your partner sharing on social media? When is texting/posting off-limits (mealtimes, date nights)? Do you create cyber-free zones in your home?

Most compelling of all, though, is Gottman’s “magic six hours” theory, based on interviews with couples who attended marital workshops at the Gottman Institute.

“We wondered what would distinguish those couples whose marriages continued to improve from those whose marriages did not,” Gottman writes. “To our surprise, we discovered that they were devoting only an extra six hours a week to their marriage.”

If your first thought is, “Only? Where am I going to find an extra six hours in my week?” — I hear you.

If that was not your first thought, forget I said anything.

Anyway, back to the winning formula.

Couples who saw their relationships improve devoted extra time each week to six categories.

First up: Partings

“Make sure that before you say good-bye in the morning and you’ve learned about one thing that is happening in your spouse’s life that day,” Gottman writes. “From lunch with the boss to a doctor’s appointment to a scheduled phone call with an old friend.”Couple Cuddling Affectionate On The Beach

(Two minutes per day for five days, for a grand total of 10 minutes per week.)

Gottman recommends greeting your partner each day with a hug and kiss that last at least 6 seconds and ending each workday with stress-reducing conversation that lasts at least 20 minutes. (About 1 hour and 40 minutes per week.)

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Vaginal Kung Fu

by Susanna Leein Sex

Warning: This is not for everyone. Seek out an expert if you are interested in learning.

There’s three things I’m afraid of: a mass bird attack, a mass zombie attack, and having a lazy pussy.  I realize that the first 2 are irrational fears, but muscle atrophy is a real thing, and the reason behind years of obsessive kegeling on my part. I’m not ashamed of it.  I think everyone has a vanity issue, I have one friend who will not leave her house with chipped nail polish, and another who is a slave to her eyebrows, carrying not one, but two tweezers with her at all times (I can’t imagine the emergency situation which would require double-fisted plucking in public, but I respect her preparedness).  When I was a teenager, I heard an undoubtedly exaggerated, and terrifying story about a woman whose uterus prolapsed, just fell right out of her body.  Like most urban legends, there was a disclaimer on the end of it…”she could’ve prevented this tragedy, if only she’d done her kegels…”, and from that day forward, I was a devotee of the ol’ clench-and-release.

We’ve all read articles about it, where doctors and other sexual health experts promote the benefits of strong vaginal (PC, pubococcygeus) muscles, explain how to kegel (tighten the muscles you’d use to stop your flow while urinating, hold for a few seconds, release, and repeat about a million times), and then tell you how easy it is to find the time to do it.  Because it’s such a discrete exercise, you can do it anywhere: behind the wheel in traffic, waiting in line at the grocery store, sitting with your family in church.  Anywhere you can daydream, you can kegel.  And that’s what I do.  It’s become something I don’t even think about, I just catch myself doing.  So when I was offered the opportunity to take a class on vaginal weightlifting for free, I jumped on it.

It was called Vaginal Kung-Fu, and from what I’d heard, was a sort of super kegel.  A kegel with actual weights involved.  But because the vagina has no hands to grip a barbell (mine doesn’t, anyway), the weighted objects are held in a small pouch, connected to a string, which is tied through a hole in the middle of a jade egg, which is held inside the vagina by activating the PC muscles.  It sounds a little complicated, and thus intimidating, and to make it more so, I was to do this in front of tv cameras.

See, my friend is a producer on a popular tv show, and his friend produces another show for the same network, which focused on unique jobs, one of which was teaching this class.  In order to film the segment, they needed to find women to take the class, who wouldn’t be put off by the thought of millions of people watching.  Being a comedian, exhibitionist, and charmingly shameless weirdo, I take any opportunity to be seen en masse.  I never turn down tv, regardless of what it entails.  Play a fake bride, getting treated like tattooed trash by some Beverly Hills wedding dressmaker who could’ve been Methuselah’s older sister, for a reality show only seen in Canada?  Sure.  Be a fake defendant on a daytime court show that general viewing public doesn’t know is fake?  Hell yes!  Anything.  If it’s on tv, I will do it.  Now, when the producer explained it all to me, he said that if I wanted, I could fake it, with a string tied around my waist, instead of actually having to insert the jade egg, but I didn’t want to miss the actual experience.  Given the opportunity to have fun vs pretend to have fun, I will choose the actual authentic experience.  And really, I’ve had tons of things and people inside me who weren’t worth half the value of a jade egg, so I was totally down for the real deal.  No faking it, I’m a method actor all the way.

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Where Single Women go to find Love!

by zfortadminin LOVE

Is it time to travel out of your comfort zone to find your love?

 

Italians do it better! Or shall I say, men from a foreign country do it better, or do they?

They say Italians do everything better: style, fashion, food, art, fun and yes, SEX. We can generalize all we want, but somewhere within lies the truth. So what is their secret? Why do they do it better?

The secret ingredient is Confidence. Italian men are confident and self-assured. They dress the part, they look the part, they act the part and they also smell the part (I have to tell you, a good smelling man can flip the switch, if you know what I mean!). They walk out the door with “I am the MAN!” written on their forehead and just make it happen. Even the guys who are not as handsome carry themselves like they are God’s gift to women. Well, are they?

If you are a single woman in America and you are tired of dating American men who fall short (sorry guys, but someone has to call it like it is), you might want to open yourself up to new adventures and maybe a new kind of man. This is what many single women are doing to find Love. Men who are raised in a foreign country, whether it is Italy or not, do dating and relationships differently (you can get your proof at www.3six5dates.com and follow the dating adventures of 4 women around the world to really see the differences. One of the ladies will be joining me to do just that on my trip to Italy this June, www.AmoreRetreat.com. What will her experience be?), so let me give you the 3 main differences you might encounter when dating men from a foreign country:

Two wineglasses. Varenna town at the lake Como, Italy

1. Wine and Dine: Men all over the world wine and dine the women they go out with without any qualms about whether they are going to get some or not. It is in their blood. Most of them are raised with the notion that a woman needs to be treated right no matter what. Here is an example. When I go back to Italy no matter who I am with, whether it is a date with romantic intensions or not, the man will always offer to pay for dinner or whatever it is and they don’t even want you to offer to pay (trust me I tried and I gotten the typical “forgettaboutit” with an evil look). In America, I have had men actually ask me to split the bill, even though they are the ones who asked me out and especially when it is just a friendship meeting. No, no, no boys, where are your manners!

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What’s Your Risk Factor for Not Orgasming?

by zfortadminin Sex

Great tips and a fun quiz! 

Feel like you’re playing orgasm Russian roulette every time you get busy? Yeah, you’re not alone. Those sneaky O’s can come easily on some days, take sooo freaking long on others, and just not show up at all when they feel like it. So what the hell is up with that?

One of the biggest reasons why women aren’t climaxing every single time is because they don’t realize they need clitoral stimulation before and even during sex to reach an orgasm, says Mary Jane Minkin, ob-gyn, M.D., clinical professor at the Yale School of Medicine.

We scoped out other factors that are blocking your big O on the regular to help your assess your risk, switch up your sex game plan, and reach sweet, sweet victory.

Read through the risk factors below, and tally up how many you frequently deal with. Then, see what your no-orgasm risk is.

1. You don’t spend enough time with foreplay. If you think that penetration and G-spot action are all it takes to get to the finish line, you’re sadly mistaken, says Minkin. Since the clitoris has more nerve endings than the vagina, stimulation there is more likely to result in an O, she says. Here’s how to prolong your foreplay and have the best sex ever.

 

2. You’re not speaking up when something feels off. Many women aren’t vocal about what feels good to them, says Minkin. And if he’s not doing it for you, you’re not going to reach the end zone—or it could take forever, she says. Find out how you can tell him what gives you the goose bumps.

 

3. You’re not wearing socks during sexy time. Seriously, getting cold feet might be keeping you from feeling warm and fuzzy all over, according to a Dutch study. Apparently, only 50 percent of women were able to have an orgasm at the beginning of the trials, but when the women wore socks, 80 percent had an orgasm.

 

4. You don’t pee before sex. “If a woman is thinking about how she might have to go to the bathroom, she’s more focused on controlling that function than enjoying the sensation,” says Minkin. “It’s a distraction.” So go pee before the action heats up.

 

5. You’re not in a relationship. Sadly, an exciting one-night stand doesn’t always end in the fireworks you imagined when you first made eye contact with that random hot guy. Research shows that you’re less likely to orgasm when hooking up with someone you’ve just met than when you’re with someone you’re dating. Womp. But giving one of these positions a shot might up your chances.

 

6. You worry about having an orgasm during sex. When you’re anxious about not having an orgasm fast enough—or anything else going on in your life—it can make reaching orgasm more challenging, says Minkin. But don’t let a little thing like stress keep you from getting busy.

 

7. You’re not masturbating. “If you know how you like to be aroused, you can guide your partner when you’re having sex,” says Minkin. Learnhow to make getting busy with yourself so much better.

 

8. You’re not using sex toys. “I always encourage people to use toys together because it can make foreplay more fun and make it more likely that you’ll orgasm,” says Minkin. Check out these crazy, sexy, cool gadgets for couples.

 

9. You usually have sex after several cocktails. “Having one glass of wine or cocktail to relax is fine,” says Minkin, “but if you have two or three, it starts to dull your senses and makes it harder for you to really feel the stimulation.”

 

Three or fewer issues: Orgasm over-acheiver
You know how to go from zero to a mind-blowing O in no time, and you should be proud of that! Keep up the crazy-good habits; you’ve got this under control, girl.

Four to seven issues: C O-face student 
So maybe you’re not hitting the high notes every. Single. Time. But you could get there with just a few simple tweaks to your routine—now that you know where to start. Once you’ve got those down, you’ll be on your way to O-town on a more regular basis. Enjoy the ride. Wink.

Seven to nine issues: Bliss beginner
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Okay, so maybe your lack of orgasms isn’t quite that serious, but bliss is still important, right? Use the helpful hints above to knock out the random things that could be ruining your roll in the hay. May the odds be ever in your favor.

What I Discovered with My First Love

by Lorraine Rockin LOVE

I was in my early twenties when I found who I thought was my soul-mate. We were from similar backgrounds, both boarding school kids, classically educated, but under-qualified. He had dropped out of University and I was on a hiatus from community college. We were both the unconventional members of pretty conventional families. Jan was involved in the periphery of Music, and neither of us had a real job. Jan’s family was wealthier than mine, but I had the advantage of an English accent, and excellent table manners, which won over his mother, if not his big brother. His father was an American who had gone back to the US after a messy divorce, and was only fleetingly in his son’s life.

We met when my musician boyfriend was on tour. Jan was a friend of his, had visited him in LA, and brought back a message for me. Jan and I hit it off right away,we became so close in such a short time, that we were like brother and sister.  We were both younger siblings, and had each come from a family of divorce.

When Guy, my boyfriend, returned he moved in to my apartment and found work locally. Jan and I would go and see him play, and  to my chagrin Guy would often introduce us to “fans” as though WE were the couple! The reunion lasted six weeks, and when the relationship began to flounder, Jan was right there to offer a shoulder. When the BF moved on Jan moved in.

At first it was a fairly typical rebound relationship: Jan wanted me because I was the rock-star’s ex-girlfriend; bohemian enough to interest him, and classy enough to be comfortable in his home world. I wanted him to prove to my ex that I had moved on, that my heart wasn’t broken, and that I was still attractive. We also cared about each other, which really helped!

In most ways that counted we were compatible, sexually, intellectually and in terms of what we wanted out of life. I was the more extroverted of the two of us, but he was also very social, and our apartment was always filled with friends, we were almost never alone. It was a wonderful life, and if I ever missed my ex I pushed it down.

We both went back to school, he trained as a Recording tech, and I as a Medical tech. we found a rhythm, and we became family.

Time went by fast and suddenly it seemed I was 26, and Jan was 27. I was working in a Childrens’ hospital , dealing with life and death every day, while Jan was working in a recording studio, where getting the right microphone for the drums was his most important task. He was working mostly nights, and I worked days.

I had matured, and it seemed he hadn’t. We had been living together for 5 years, Jan wanted things to stay as they were, but  I was becoming restless, needing a change.

I felt that was no longer the same person that I once had been, and though I still liked to socialize, I no longer enjoyed  the “sex and drugs and rock’n roll” lifestyle that Jan still lived. I was moving towards my thirties, and I realized that I actually wanted marriage and a family. My biological clock was ticking, and his wasn’t.

One of the problems of having a long-term relationship  when quite young, is that we all mature at different rates. There is a reason why most couples have a younger woman/older man dynamic.  (On average, husbands are two to four years older than their wives.) Young men are reluctant to commit while still enjoying themselves; on average they delay marriage and fatherhood until later.

I had often thought that perhaps we weren’t together for the right reasons, we were friends first, lovers later, which seems ideal, but I sometimes wondered if there was a lack of passion in our gradual growth to being a pair. Had we ever really been “in love”? was that a necessary component? was ours a “marriage of convenience”? It certainly wasn’t the grand passion that my previous relationship had been.

There reached a point in my mind at which we would either break up, or marry. Then I discovered that he had a key to my best friend’s apartment and they were hooking up behind my back. I guess he had already made the decision, and forgotten to include me in it!   Diana was a tall blonde model, the complete antithesis of me – short, curvy and redheaded. (As a friend of mine remarked at the time, when your “marriage” hits a rough patch it’s not a good idea to have something that attractive in your life!).

We broke up, and Jan and my friend became engaged. They married within a year of our break up (I was not invited).

I have had many relationships since then, and though I have been married twice I have never achieved the same “soul-mate” status which Jan and I had. I regret losing him in my live even now. Perhaps it wasn’t a grand passion, but in some ways  it was something even better. Too bad we were both too young at the time to recognize it.  Though I cannot say that we have remained friends, we have been in touch over the  I have followed his career, and congratulated him when he was nominated for a Grammy. We both moved on and have done well, our lives enriched for having known each other.

Love Rules – Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Marriage Equality

by zfortadminin LOVE

This affirms healthy and committed relationships for all couples!

 

I am overjoyed at today’s Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges. As I’ve said many times over the last several years, marriage equality had the stamp of inevitability on it — it is not a matter or “if,” but “when.” Today, we know the answer: Marriage equality is here.

This is an enormous victory for the LGBT community, and for all of us who believe that everyone deserves to be treated equally under the law. Whether loving same-sex couples live in Illinois or anywhere else in the nation, they will now be able to join in marriage. As a founding member of the LGBT Equality Caucus, I have been on this side of the fight for equal rights all along. I want to congratulate all of my friends and colleagues who have worked so hard to make this a reality — whether pushing for changes to federal law, challenging unfair policies, marching in the streets or talking to their families and friends about the need for equality.

#‎marriageequality‬-lovejustwon

This is truly a day to celebrate how far our country has come and I am positive that there will be more victories to come. We will enact the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) to stop discrimination in the workplace and Student Non-Discrimination Act (SNDA) to end discrimination in our schools. Today’s decision shows how far our country and we will keep marching on until we establish equal rights for all.

 

Curated by Tatiana
Original Article

4 Steamy, Fun Sex Games To Help You Rock It In The Bedroom

by zfortadminin Sex

These games are sexy and lots of fun! 

Say goodbye to bedroom boredom. These fun sex games will definitely spice things up.

Constantly searching for things to keep your sex life fun can get very tiring. That’s why I wanted to show you my 4 favorite fun sex games to play with your partner. Just a quick warning though: Don’t feel like you have to try every single one of the sexy games with your man. You don’t. Only try the ones that you are comfortable with.

You’ve Got 30 Seconds

This first fun sex game is called ‘You’ve Got 30 Seconds’ because you are going to be giving each other a time limit of just 30 seconds to turn each other on and get each other off. To play the game, ideally you should have an egg timer as it makes quite a loud buzzing noise when the time is up. But if you don’t have one, a stopwatch on your phone will do. Set the timer to 30 seconds and then start it.

Your man will now have just 30 seconds to try and give you as much pleasure as possible. Usually this isn’t enough though…which turns out to be a good thing as it’s now your turn. You’ll have 30 seconds to try and give your man as much pleasure as possible and try to bring him to orgasm.

Now, when you are the person receiving the pleasure, you are not allowed to do anything at all other than sit back and enjoy it. You’re especially not allowed to give any directions or tell your partner what you are enjoying and disliking. It’s up to them to discover it themselves. You’ll find that you will both need multiple 30 second sessions to get each other off. Many couples often report that they get quite competitive when playing, ‘You’ve Got 30 Seconds’, trying to win, by getting their partner off first.

You can also add to the fun by inventing prizes for the winner (the person who orgasms last) and evenforfeits for the loser (the person who orgasms first).

Hot & Cold

‘Hot & Cold’ is much simpler to play, but that doesn’t make it any less of a fun sex game to play with your man. What you are going to be doing is arranging a few foods (usually about 3-4) that are either warm or cold. Think ice-cream, champagne and sorbet for the cold foods and heated honey, melted chocolate and warm maple syrup for the warm foods.

Note: Make sure that the warm foods aren’t hotter than your man, otherwise you may accidentally burn him.

‘Hot & Cold’ is a sex game that works best after dinner, I’ll explain why in a minute.

Next, you are going to bring your man somewhere private, take off his pants and then blindfold him. You now want to tell him that you want to give him a bj, but not the regular type of bj. Tell him that you’d like some dessert and have a few things prepared. If he asks what, then just say that it’s a surprise and will be quite pleasurable.

Then take a little scoop of ice cream into your mouth and start to very slowly give him oral sex. Starting slowly is crucial as you don’t want to give him too much of a shock. You can continue to give him oral sex, while slowly eating more and more of the ice cream/sorbet/champagne off his penis.

Next, you can then switch to something completely different…like some warm honey. The change should surprise your man, but more importantly it will make for a completely different texture.

The only problem when performing ‘Hot & Cold’ sex game is that your man will often come before you have a chance to try all the foods on him. That’s why I always recommend to use no more than 4 different foods.

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You Can’t Calculate Intimacy with a Quota

by zfortadminin Mind

How much weight do you place on sex frequency and your happiness?

 

I’m 32 years old and my sex life with my girlfriend is brilliant, but friends in much longer-term relationships have warned me it will deplete over time, and become less exciting. Is it possible to stop this decline happening?

Habit is, as you recognise, a problematic aspect of any long-term sexual relationship, but long-term companionship offers such enormous physical, emotional and social benefits that most people figure the trade off is worth it.

However, as long as a relationship remains meaningful, familiarity does not translate into boredom. When you are single you are able to have lots of relationships with different people.

When you are part of a couple you have lots of different relationships with one person. You fall in and out of love with each other all the time. You have novel sex. You have dull sex. You have make-up sex.

Sexual relationships are not static and boredom is not a passive response to over- familiarity.

It is something one or both partners actively allows to happen to a sexual relationship that is almost certainly under- performing on multiple levels.

Several surveys have shown relationship duration is positively correlated with a decline in sexual desire, sexual satisfaction, and sexual frequency, however it is not necessarily a linear, or even an inevitable, progression.

Sexual frequency can increase, or, in response to an array of mental, physical, relational, social, even financial changes.

Think about it. When you get ill, chances are you don’t feel like having sex. And if, for example, you and your girlfriend ever decide to have a baby, chances are, your sexual frequency will go through the roof.

Since none of us can predict the future, there is not much point in worrying about occasional fluctuations in sexual activity, unless of course, they correlate with a worrying decline in relationship satisfaction.

Sexual and relational satisfaction are intrinsically linked, which is why sexual difficulties are such a useful gauge of the health of a relationship. Stable relationships, in which both partners consider themselves happy and satisfied, are more likely to report higher rates of sexual activity than relationships characterised by friction and strain.

It makes intuitive sense that couples who like each other are more likely to touch each other, and because this association is bi-directional, the recipe for a good sex life is pretty much the same as the recipe for having a good relationship.

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5 Exercises That Make You Better At Sex

by zfortadminin Sex

These exercises are great for your health and libido!

Having sex uses a lot of muscles you don’t normally use during the course of the day. “The last thing you want to worry about during the act is getting tired or losing stamina,” says Patti Britton, Ph.D., clinical sexologist, and author of The Art of Sex Coaching: Expanding Your Practice. You’ll enjoy yourself a lot more—and be more adventurous—if your body is prepped for better performance in bed. Here are 5 exercises you should add to your workout routine today to make these 5 sex positions hotter tonight.

The Sex Position: Missionary

The Exercise to Make it Hotter: Bowing Pushup

It’s not very creative, but missionary is the go-to move for most people, says Britton. The reason: It’s an intimate position that allows for face-to-face contact. And while she enjoys feeling your weight on her body, you can’t let all pounds rest on her.

“You need strong arms and shoulders to hold yourself up the entire time,” says BJ Gaddour, C.S.C.S., a Men’s Health fitness advisor and CEO of Men’s Health StreamFIT. “But a tired upper body can lead to extra strain on your lower back and an unenjoyable experience for the both of you.” Before you hit the sheets, increase your upper-body strength and shoulder stability with the bowing pushup

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Random Act of Self-Love

by zfortadminin LOVE

It’s great to do sweet things for your partner, but what about you? 

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack Kornfield

We have all heard about random acts of kindness. We’ve probably all — at some point or another — been a giver or a receiver of these little, big and sometimes life-changing moments.

The simple act of doing thoughtful, unexpected good deeds for others can fill us with joy. And when someone reaches out, out of the blue to touch us in some way, it’s something we rarely forget.

No matter what end of the act of kindness you are on, they are usually moments filled with ease, grace and love.

Acts of kindness come to us naturally, without effort or much thought. An opportunity presents itself and we act swiftly and whole-heartedly. We don’t think; we just do.

Recently a friend confided to me that she needs more time for herself. She has a demanding schedule and kids she cares for so I understand why it ‘s difficult for her to find time alone. It’s more than that, though. In listening to her, I realized she isn’t being kind and giving herself the simple joys she’s craving.

I thought of how she often extends generosity towards me — a cup of coffee, a listening ear, a meal shared.

I wondered — what if now and then she surprised herself with a random act of kindness — for herself?

What if now and then we all gave ourselves a random act of self-love?

I’m not talking about spoiling ourselves, giving in to our every whim or over-indulging. I’m referring to being honest with ourselves. So often we put our needs and wishes on the backburner and neglect our desires because we’re afraid to authentically acknowledge them.

Giving to ourselves should be a regular part of our lives. While some of us are better at this than others, for many of us, this idea feels absurd. We worry how it may look, what others may think or we feel guilty. We worry we are being selfish or that others will perceive our actions as self-absorbed.

But there’s nothing wrong with giving to ourselves.

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17 Reasons to Definitely Have Sex Tonight

by zfortadminin Sex

Who is getting lucky tonight?

1. It’s, you know, sex. And one of only a couple ways to have an orgasm, which is pretty great in and of itself. For most people, this is pretty high on the list of reasons to have sex. In some cases, it’s all about the journey, but the orgasm is a pretty great destination regardless of how you arrive there. If I need to explain to you why an orgasm is great, then get off this website and go tell your parents to install parental controls on your computer.

2. It’ll be the happiest you are all day. Sex releases endorphins, which are a great cure for a bad mood. Bad day at the office? Bang. Just feeling sort of down? Bang. You really can’t be that upset after sex.

3. Your power is out. Your options are basically read by candlelight or have sex. Guess which one isn’t going to be a strain on your eyes.

4. You’re about to go on vacation and don’t want to get sick. Studies show that sex can actually strengthen your immune system. So if you’re worried about getting sick, just have sex. It might not be as efficient as a flu shot, but it’s definitely the more fun way to have something stuck inside you of the two.

5. You haven’t done it in a while. You don’t want to get rusty. Make sure you still got it.

6. Your boss was so mean to you today. If it’s stressing you out, have sex. Getting it on can actuallylower your blood pressure and alleviate stress. Plus, getting naked yourself is way more fun than picturing all those weirdos at work naked anyway.

7. Your vibrator is out of batteries. This is the better alternative even if your vibrator isn’t out of batteries.

8. You didn’t go to the gym but you don’t want to be completely lazy. Sex counts as exercise, so if you can’t be motivated to drive there and spend an hour lifting weights, have sex instead. You won’t even realize you’re exercising.

9. There’s a knot in your shoulder you can’t work out. Sex can actually relieve aches and pains, so if you’re feeling sore or you slept on your neck weird, have sex.

10. You just got out of the shower. You’re already naked! You’re pretty much halfway there (though you might want to jump in the shower again afterward).

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