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Loving Better Through Physical Touch

by zfortadminin LOVE

How do we keep love alive after the “in-love” emotions have evaporated?

Keeping emotional love alive in a marriage makes life much more enjoyable. How do we keep love alive after the “in-love” emotions have evaporated? I believe it is by learning to speak each other’s “love language.” This week we will focus on physical touch.

For some husbands, when they hear the words physical touch, they immediately think of sex. But sexual intercourse is only one of the dialects of this love language. Holding hands, kissing, embracing, back rubs, or an arm around the shoulder are all ways of expressing love by physical touch.

Physical touch can make or break a marital relationship. Do you know how to speak this love language? To the spouse whose primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than your tender touches. You may give them words of affirmation or gifts, but nothing communicates love like physical touch.

Touches may be explicit and call for your full attention, such as a back rub or sexual foreplay. They can be implicit and require only a moment, such as putting your hand on his shoulder as you pour a cup of coffee. Once you discover that physical touch is the primary love language of your spouse, you are limited only by your imagination. Kiss when you get in the car. It may greatly enhance your travels. Give a hug before you go shopping. You may hear less griping when you return. Remember, you are learning to speak a new language.

When you reach out with tender touch, you create emotional closeness. This is especially true if the primary love language of your spouse is physical touch. You may say, “What if I’m just not a toucher? I didn’t grow up in a touchy-feely family.” The good news is that you can learn to speak this love language. It can begin with a pat on the back, or putting your hand on their leg as you sit together on the couch.

Almost instinctively in a time of crisis, we hug one another. Why? During these times, we need to feel loved more than anything. All marriages will experience crises. Disappointments are a part of life. The most important thing you can do for your wife in a time of crisis is to love her. If her primary love language is physical touch, nothing is more important than holding her as she cries. Your words may mean little, but your physical touch will communicate that you care. In a time of crisis, a hug is worth more than a thousand words. Physical touch is a powerful love language.

Have you ever had a time when you were in need of a hug? What do you do to let others know that you need a gesture of physical touch? What do you do if your spouse’s love language is physical touch, but you’re not “touchy-feely”?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

A Valentine’s Day Rebirth

by Laura Manninoin LOVE

It turned out Valentine’s Day ended up being pretty special and terrifying.

I like Valentine’s Day. There. I said it. It doesn’t bother me. I get why it bugs other people. It’s a marketing scheme invented by Hallmark that either puts pressure on people to buy overpriced cards, dinner, jewelry, and stuffed animals, (for those who buy other adults stuffed animals), or it makes you feel bad that you don’t have anyone to buy you all that stuff.  Like One Direction and Anne Hathaway, I don’t mind that Valentine’s Day exists and it has its place in the marketplace.  I know that’s a very easy position to take when you have someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, but even if I didn’t, I would like to think I’d use it as a great excuse to eat too much chocolate, get drunk with my friends and hate-watch that Anne Hathaway movie. Also, what else are you going to do in February? The holidays are over. That Super Bowl commercial that everyone tweeted about has lost its luster and is now just another commercial in heavy rotation. The weather sucks and it’s only going to get worse in March. What else do you have to look forward to? A President’s Day mattress sale?  Just order off the pre-fixe menu and rest assure you’re going to get laid.

My husband, Alex and I have been together for a really long time. When I tell a twenty-something how long we’ve been together, I can see her do math in her head and search for a nice way to tell me that I look great for a corpse. Our first Valentine’s Day was February 2001 during our senior year in college. THE TOWERS WERE STILL UP FOR SEVEN MORE MONTHS! That’s how long we’ve been together.

So for fourteen straight Valentine’s Days during this century, Alex and I would mark the occasion somehow with some combination of dinner, gifts, something that involved planning, primping and thinking of each other.  And then we had a baby last year. Cue screeching car brake sound effect. We spent last Valentine’s Day the same way we spent everyday those previous two weeks: sitting in a hospital NICU tending to our baby son, Harrison, who decided to join us six weeks earlier than expected.

For the first time in our relationship, we forgot about Valentine’s Day. It’s a thing other people living in the outside world get to do. Valentine’s Day no longer applied to us. We were completely unaware of anything that wasn’t about our son’s current bilirubin levels and weight.  We would have no idea that ISIS invaded Los Angeles as long as the route between our house and the hospital remained terror-free.  It turned out Valentine’s Day ended up being pretty special and terrifying. We found out that day would be our son’s last in the NICU and that night would be our first with him in a room at the hospital. It hit us that we will now be for reals parents, totally on our own without a team of nurses and doctors, no backsies. “Okay. So what do we do in the meantime? Wanna get food? It’s Valentine’s Day. I guess.”  

We found ourselves sitting at the only restaurant that’s walking distance from the hospital, the Pacific Dining Car.  The Pacific Dining Car is a historic Los Angeles institution that time forgot. If you’re not familiar with it, you may recognize it from that scene from “Training Day” when Denzel meets up with three corrupt higher-ups smoking cigars and being mean and stern about stuff. Soooo romantic. It’s the old man joint of old man joints: leather banquettes, dark wood, and a menu full of 70’s wedding banquet fare including surf and turf, prime rib, shrimp cocktail, a lot of versions of the baked potato, and something called a “Baseball Steak.”  There was no rose on the table, no special Valentine’s menu; actually there was no reference that it was Valentine’s Day.  The other patrons didn’t seem romantically involved or to even like each other.  Everyone there seemed to be negotiating a hit for hire.  It was the restaurant manifestation of our mindset: Valentine’s Day is a thing that happens to other people somewhere else.  We’re dealing with more important things.

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How to Feel Sexier in Bed this Valentines

by zfortadminin SEX TIPS

Feeling sexy often has little to do with, well, sex. In fact, building your sexual confidence doesn’t even have to take place in the bedroom. Whether it’s tossing your old, unflattering underwear, finding the right lighting, or taking a yoga class, there are plenty of easy (and fun!) ways to feel hotter than ever. Let these ideas get you started.

1. Splurge on some flirty lingerie.

Who cares what Gisele Bündchen is wearing? The goal is finding styles you feel sexy in. So while a thong might work for one woman, perhaps you’ll feel cuter (and more comfortable) in a pair of boy shorts. If you consider a bold leopard print push-up bra too much, try a more subtle lacy number — it can be just as titillating.

2. Dress the part.

What you’re wearing before you take your clothes off is just as important. For some women, nothing makes them feel hotter than their favorite pair of jeans, whether they’re “skinny” or not. Others may prefer a short skirt or curve-hugging dress. Either way, choose an outfit that flaunts your fave body part — we guarantee you’ll feel bolder in no time.

3. Turn down the lights.

Florescent lighting is nobody’s friend. We’ve all learned this the hard way in many a department store fitting room. On the contrary, the right lighting in your bedroom can make you look and feel like a sex goddess. Light fixtures that illuminate upward are the most flattering, as are lower-wattage bulbs and ones with a pretty blush tint. We also love dimmers, lamps, and candles to set the mood.

4. Wax it off.

There’s something about a smooth bare leg that makes us feel like getting a little frisky. The same can be said for a bikini wax. It may sound like a lot of effort, but you’ll be dying to take your clothes off!

5. Relax.

It’s difficult to feel sexy when you’re completely stressed and exhausted. That’s why it’s important to make time for you! Ask your husband to look after the kids while you sleep in one Saturday. Take a yoga class or sip a glass of wine with dinner. We promise, your sex drive will thank you.

6. Break out of your comfort zone.

There’s something kind of arousing about living a little dangerously. Plan a more-daring-than-usual activity like rock climbing or surfing — anything that gets the adrenaline pumping. Not the sporty type? Experiment with wearing a shorter-than-usual skirt or a top that shows a little more cleavage. Even better: Send a sexy text to your partner or suggest watching a racy movie together.

7. Hit the gym.

Research shows that exercise boosts your body image — even if the number on the scale is exactly the same. In fact, a 2009 University of Florida study found that people who exercise but don’t lose fat, feel just as good about their bodies as their more fitter peers. So even if you’re still working towards six-pack abs, you’ll still feel hot.

8. Create your dream fantasy.

Why shouldn’t you be the heroine in your own romance novel? Imagine yourself doing all the sexy things you’d like to do… then do them. Try keeping a journal. Who knows, maybe it will turn out to be the next (erotic) best-seller?

9. Get your partner involved.

Ask him to remind you of all the things he finds attractive about you. Knowing what turns him on will help you to see yourself through his eyes. Then, you can do the same for him.

10. Don’t compare yourself to other women.

Just because Jennifer Aniston looks amazing in a bikini doesn’t mean you have to hide under your T-shirt. Measuring yourself up to not-so-easy-to-attain body images is a recipe for bedroom gloom. Look in the mirror, and take note of what you find sexy. You’ll be surprised by how much you really love your body.

TELL US: How do you make yourself feel more confident in the bedroom?

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The Sex Addict

by RJ Newellin Sex

I realize now that all I wanted was a connection.

My name is Amanda, and I am a sex addict.

Or I was, until I had sex with a famous-dude-I-can’t-name-but-let’s-call-him Dustin Shmieber. Millions of girls all over the world would kill to be where I was. You actually don’t have to kill anybody, but there are certain steps you have to take. Legally. It’s for his safety. Or whatever.

Step 1 – You must say “yes, Dustin Shmieber, I will have sex with you,” out loud, in front of a witness, usually his entire crew of security guys.

Step 2 – You must wait until Dustin Shmieber gets in his vehicle and drives away to wherever it is, you guys will be meeting up later.

Step 3 – You must relinquish your cell phone, your wallet, and your ID, and allow a bunch of giant men to search you for any recording devices or weapons.

Step 4 – You are then blindfolded and put in a different car, and driven to an undisclosed and mysterious location. No one tells you where you’re going, or how you’re getting back. And naturally, you, the young, innocent Shmelieber that you are, don’t think this is weird at all.

Step 5 – You’re taken, blindfolded, into the building where Dustin sits and waits somewhere…it’s kind of funny, I just imagine him crouching like Gollum and waiting… and you are told to sign a legally binding contract saying that – if you have an STD, he is not responsible, and if you get pregnant, he is not responsible, and it is your duty to find treatment and/or an abortion at your own expense, he is not responsible, and you cannot contact him in any way whatsoever, because he is not responsible. It gets better. You cannot tell anyone, in public or private, what happened in that room with him, or you will be the responsible one who is sued to death. You have to sign. Then, and ONLY THEN, are you allowed into a room alone with the Shmiebs.

Even I, the frantic sex maniac that I am, should find this a little bizarre.

But this was different. This was Dustin Shmeiber. Adored by millions. Girls wanted him. Boys wanted to be him. I just wanted to be on him. But when I finally got in that room…I saw only that this creature was more alone than me.

My name is Amanda. I don’t like sex as much as I used to.

I realize now that all I wanted was a connection. As fucked up as that situation was, I got what I was searching for. That night, when I looked into his face, I found myself there… and it was heartbreaking. It doesn’t matter who you are. A million adoring fans is worth nothing, if you do not love yourself. Loneliness does not discriminate. In any relationship, sexual or otherwise, you are the one you need most. It’s never too late. Love is power, and it’s all in your hands.

5 Special Tips to Create a Meaningful Valentine’s

by Christian Cintronin DATING ADVICE, LOVE

For couples this can be a relationship-defining holiday. 

I’ve spent more Valentine’s days painfully single than I’d like to admit. When you’re single, it’s easy to get distracted by all the flowers and candy you’re not getting.  The holiday is about celebrating love not candy hearts and having someone to share a meal with.  When I have had a Valentine I’ve been sure to make it special because we’re celebrating intimacy and romance. They’re more important than wasting time and money going through the motions. Here are a few ways to make your Valentine’s Day extra special:

  • Get an Original Gift – Valentine’s Day isn’t exactly Christmas. But for new couples it can be a relationship-defining holiday. For longtime couples, it can be a chance to reaffirm your connection. Why not show your love by showing your partner exactly how much you know about them? Does your partner like art? You can get them art supplies or a book of paintings by their favorite artist. How about sports? Get them a small piece of swag with their favorite sports team. Does your partner collect anything, have a unique hobby, or is a hardcore fan of something? You’ve got your gift idea right there. The old adage is it’s the thought that counts. A little thoughtfulness and effort can go a long way in getting the perfect gift. Intimate doesn’t always mean sexual. I’ve found my best luck getting gifts that truly represent the person they’re for.
  • Happy With Handmade – Establishing you have the same values is an important part of a long lasting relationship. Does your partner actually like a big spectacle? You could just as easily invest time and effort rather than cold hard cash. A really great mix-tape can show your partner your favorite music and songs you think are romantic. Bare in mind this mixed tape might look more like a CD or a playlist on a mp3 player or iPod. You could give your partner an hour-long massage with oil and candlelight. This has served me in having a really special evening. There’s also something to be said for making them a unique piece of jewelry, painting, or even a love poem. Just make sure you’re doing it inspired by your love and not by the prospect of saving a few bucks. I like to make handmade cards and share how I’m feeling. It’s a way more valuable keepsake than a store bought card.
  • Sexy Gifts – Tis the season for some sex toys. There are rarely gift-giving occasions where toys or lingerie are appropriate. But Valentine’s is that day. You may not be married but you can still invest in marital aids. Sex is a very important part of any relationship. But, these should be gifts that your partner wants not something that you’ve been dying to try. Either way, Valentine’s is a great time to invest in that special toy or outfit you’ve had your eyes on. We all strive for sex to happen on Valentine’s Day. A little spice can go a long way.
  • Plan an Outing – It’s easy to get sucked into the con of spending twice as much on a prix fix menu to eat at a restaurant you wouldn’t choose otherwise. Why not try a trip to a museum, a well-planned hike turned picnic, or even a weekend away. Hotel prices may be at their peak but a well-timed surprise weekend can be transformative both for your relationship and day-to-day life.  My friend won major points a couple of Valentine’s ago by surprising his lady with a trip to San Francisco. It was a pretty major coup for him in their relationship.
  • Collaborate – A surprise can be a really great part of any gift. But this holiday is about celebrating your relationship. Why not show your couple pride by collaborating? Talk to your partner and get a feel for what they want. Talk about ideas and plan your special day together. After all there are two parts to any couple and both should get to enjoy the day. It may be the luxury of being queer but I find that it’s best when my guy and I discuss our plans for the holiday. It’s not fair to put all your expectations on the holiday on one person, regardless of their gender. A relationship is rarely one-sided so why should a holiday about relationships be?

Valentine’s Day is a simple holiday but when you’re in a relationship it does take on a whole new meaning. I know I’ve spent many of them alone so I know my partner may need a little extra special attention. But there are also some people who are super low maintenance and may not want to make a big fuss. The trick to making the most of the holiday is to show your partner you really care. Buck the system of expectations and an overreliance on pink hearts and remind yourself to celebrate your partner. The most important tip to surviving Valentine’s Day is to show you know your partner and honor their feelings. Have a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

How to Avoid these V-Day Blues

by zfortadminin Mind

Valentine’s Day is fraught with landmines and expectations, often unrealized. Whether you’re in or out of a relationship, the grass isn’t always greener. Below are often-occurring situations, and six tips to having a great holiday.

  • You’re alone. I can recall Valentine’s Days I wished I were in love with someone who loved me. Worse were Valentine’s Days when I missed an ex or spent time thinking about someone who wasn’t in love with me. Looking back, what was sad was that I made myself unhappy and ruined one, if not more, days thinking “if only.”
  • You’re in a new relationship.Another Valentine’s trap happens when you’re newly in love. It may be the first Valentine’s Day of your relationship, and you wonder whether your partner will surprise you with something special. Will he or she ignore the day or hopefully say the unmentionable, four-letter L-word?You’re stressed about whether your card should be funny or mushy. Fear of humiliation and abandonment restrain you from being vulnerable. You don’t want your feelings rejected or to scare off your partner. Guys, you could be afraid of hurting your girl’s feelings by not doing or saying enough. Or you could be afraid to do or say too much, which might be misinterpreted as a commitment for which you’re unprepared.
  • You’re in a fight.One of the worst feelings on Valentine’s Day is to be fighting with your partner. Any other day wouldn’t be as painful. On Valentine’s Day, though, your worst fears and disappointments about your partner and the relationship are highlighted. In addition to being hurt or angry about the argument, you compare how you feel to how you imagine the day should be and how you want to feel.You don’t have to be fighting to be on eggshells all day and disappointed because your partner is an addict, ignoring you, or is looking for a fight to avoid admitting he didn’t plan anything or doesn’t want to go out. You can easily spend the entire day looking and waiting for cues, wondering whether you will spend the evening together. It’s hard to generate loving feelings seeing your wife neglecting the children or drunk all day.
  • You’re in a dull or dead relationship.Many couples in long relationships have lost the spark of love. Valentine’s Day may be a cruel reminder or an opportunity to rekindle it. When romance fades, it can be replaced with love based on deep caring and shared life experience. You might decide not to do anything special. Yet you can still acknowledge your love for each other – even if it’s not romantic love, it’s deep and abiding.Some relationships have died. Intimacy’s gone, but the couple can’t let go, whether due to age, children, health, or finances. Usually, despite those reasons, there’s a deep attachment. Often one person imagines he or she is staying for the other and is in denial of his or her own attachment needs and fears about leaving.
  • You’re in a loving relationship.You’re among the fortunate few if you’re in a long, loving relationship. Valentine’s Day may still present problems, especially for husbands who don’t want to disappoint their wives. You can get caught in the dilemma of not being able to decide whether to surprise your wife or ask her what she’d like. It’s okay to ask. Some people would rather know, but beware of a common trap: When your significant other replies, “it doesn’t really matter, I’m just happy with all you do. Don’t get me anything.” In this case, you should get him or her something special. Failure to act can be dangerous.Wives, too, can get caught up in waiting and wondering, and not wanting to upset plans their husbands may have made.
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Do You Hate Valentine’s? Here’s Why Some Couples Do.

by zfortadminin LOVE

Valentine’s Day haters do not just include those who find themselves without a valentine.

There are plenty of reasons couples hate Valentine’s Day too, and they are not necessarily just because the “holiday” can all too often feel hollow, or capitalistic, or otherwise forced. So I asked six relationship experts to reveal why they think some couples hate Valentine’s Day so much. After all, these psychologists, therapists, and other experts know a thing or two about the dynamics of couples. I figured they could shed light on such a widespread feeling of dislike.

Shed they did. And one expert reminded that it’s possible that even the grinches of Valentine’s Day can be won over, if they just change their mindset. “For people that hate V-Day, I would suggest they find amazing ways to show love that buck the commercial aspects,” Rob Alex, who created Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night with his wife, tells Bustle. The options are endless, but the only rule is that you eschew traditional tropes of the day for things that are more personal and special.

“Make your own card, cook a fabulous meal together and just spend that valuable time with your partner, just being together and talking,” Alex says. “Love is the most valuable thing on the planet, and yet it doesn’t cost a dime.” Truth. Here are 10 reasons some couples hate Valentine’s Day so much, from a psychological standpoint:

1. Disappointment Is Too Easy

If there’s smoke, there’s fire — and if there are expectations, disappointment is bound to be not too far behind. “Couples learn to dislike Valentine’s because of the pressure to be romantic, to do something special, and the disappointment when it doesn’t go right,” Tina B. Tessina, aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, tells Bustle. “That’s why keeping it simple is a good idea.” If you keep the whole thing low-key, as she suggests, your expectations will stay at a reasonable level, and you won’t set yourself up for disappointment.

2. It’s Commercial

“Many people hate V-Day from the commercial standpoint,” Alex tells Bustle. Basing the day on “how much you spend on your partner” will never make anyone feel fulfilled, he says. “Getting away from the commercial aspect of Valentine’s Day could help these people heal from their hatred of V-Day,” says Alex, aka the Guru of Getting It On.

3. Some People Think It’s A Fake Holiday

Similarly, psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle that “some people believe that it is a ‘Hallmark holiday’ — something made up to sell cards and candy.” Though the origins of the day are anything but commercial — in fact, the traditions associated with Valentine’s Day started out rather dark — the day has evolved to be just that, but only if you let it be.

4. It Can Feel Obligatory

“Valentine’s Day can feel like obligatory love,” Carlyle Jansen, author of Author, Sex Yourself: Woman’s Guide to Mastering Masturbation and Achieving Powerful Orgasms, tells Bustle. “I have told my partner never to do anything for me on the 14th of February. Any of the other 364 days of the year is wide open for indulgence, and I am happy to receive any other time.” She just doesn’t want her partner to do something special just because “it feels like you are ‘supposed to,'” she says. “Of course, my partner always thinks that this is a trick and will get into trouble if nothing happens.”

5. You’re Forced To Perform

“I believe couples can come to hate V-Day, because of all the commercialization of this holiday with the emphasis on spending too much money,” relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships, tells Bustle. “Restaurants can be overcrowded and over-charging, and yet the pressure to do something special can make couples do things they really rather not be doing.” Rather than forcing yourself to shell out for a prix fixe menu you’d rather not eat, feel free to stay home and watch a movie — you can always get dolled up and go out another night.

6. It Can Feel Superficial

“People hate rejection, and if a focus is on a romantic love, which is fleeting, then almost any love that is not superficial could feel to some as if they are experiencing something ‘less than,'” psychotherapist and neuromarketing strategist Michele Paiva tells Bustle. In other words, the superficial starts to feel real — and real, from-the-heart gestures can feel like they are not enough, even though they are authentic, if they don’t involve red roses or candy. “It is so important to understand that what is celebrated and what is real might be very different,” Paiva says. “We put expectations on ourselves, partners and relationships that are unrealistic.”

7. Too Much Is Crowded Into One Day

“Many believe that there should not be a day to show the other person how you feel about them, but this should be a regular occurrence throughout the year,” says Martinez. By jamming it all into one day, pressure and expectations can be too high — and you can lose out on exchanging little gifts and performing acts of kindness throughout the year.

8. You And Your Partner Can Be On Two Different Pages

“There’s always this unspoken need to meet your mate’s expectation, and frankly, two people who are otherwise very compatible, might just not be on the same page about the whole ‘Hallmark card and everything is coming up roses, candy hearts and chocolate kisses thing,'” says Sansone-Braff. A real, heart-to-heart discussion with your partner is in order. “The solution to this problem is to talk about what this holiday means or doesn’t mean to you, and come to some kind of compromise on how to spend this day together,” says Sansone-Braff. “Whatever you do, don’t start a War of the Roses over Valentine’s Day.”

9. It Can Be Re-Traumatizing

“Some have simply had terrible prior experiences in the past, and this has made them unable to move past it and learn to enjoy it and the company of their partner for a special celebration,” says Martinez. If you’ve had a horrible Valentine’s Day — or multiple awful V-Days past — you can skip the day, or make new memories by doing something completely different.

10. Everything Is Packed

And sometimes you want to share your googly eyes with no one but your partner. On Valentine’s Day, everywhere you go will be extra packed, often requiring reservations months in advance. Even worse: You’ll be surrounded by other couples, and it’s hard to ignore what everyone around you is doing/wearing/saying to each other. If you really, truly hate V-Day, and your partner does too, you can always opt out. But if you just dislike the day because of one or more of these underlying reasons, you can always alter your choices, so you can still celebrate love — without the icky parts.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

How Making Love in the Morning Makes You Healthy

by zfortadminin Sex

Now, health experts and researchers claim that morning love making is in fact good for health.

At least once in a lifetime, any couple would generally try Sunday morning love making. Now, health experts and researchers claim that morning love making is in fact good for health.Most of us have been totally conditioned. We keep the most beautiful things for the night’s schedule. There is no rule that you need to wait till it is darkness to express your love. As you experience the endorphin effect early in the morning, you will start seeing a beautiful world throughout the day even if the world is ugly and bad.Here are some health benefits of morning love making.

Morning love making health benefits are:

1.You Can Forget About Your Gym:

The calories that are burnt after a 30 minute jog can be easily burnt if you spend an hour on bed making love.

2.A Great Way To Start The Day:

If you start the day with passionate love, your entire day will be a great day and you can take on your life’s challenges with ease.

3.You Can Handle Stress Well:

The stress you experience in the traffic and in the work place look like small things when your spirits are high.

4.You Can Enjoy Better Moods Throughout The Day:

When your day starts with that high, your moods tend to be elevated for hours together and this is the best way to keep depressive moods at bay.

5.You Can Look Better:

Researchers have claimed long back that orgasms can make your skin and hair look better.

6.You Can Enjoy Better Immunity:

When you are travelling to work, if you see other around you coughing, you can consider yourself lucky. Your immunity gets a boost due to the love-making in the morning. So infections stay at bay.

7.Morning Is The Best Time For Men:

The hormonal cycles of men are at peaks in the morning. So, your man will be high with testosterone in the morning. Make the best out of his hormones.

8.You Can Come Out Of Your Caffeine Addiction:

Though coffee is the best thing in the morning, it is addictive and unhealthy. But when you get used to morning love, you can beat that addiction.

These are the health benefits of morning love making.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Oysters—Ready for a Romantic Week

by zfortadminin Sex

“Yes, I do think these molluscs are aphrodisiacs. If the male is having difficulties, they have to eat a lot of mussels or oysters.

Casanova, the 18th century lover who used to breakfast on 50 oysters, has been vindicated by a study that proves they really are aphrodisiacs.

And spring, the scientists say, is the time of year the shellfish have their greatest aphrodisiac quality.

The team of American and Italian researchers analysed bivalve molluscs – a group of shellfish that includes oysters – and found they were rich in rare amino acids that trigger increased levels of sex hormones.

The link was announced to 15,000 scientists in San Diego, California, at a meeting of the American Chemical Society last week.

It generated possibly more interest than any other discovery in the society’s 126-year history. “I am amazed,” said George Fisher, a professor of chemistry at Barry University, Miami, who led the research team with his graduate student Raul Mirza and Antimo D’Aniello, of the Laboratory of Neurobiology in Naples.

“I have been a scientist for 40 years and my research has never generated interest like this.

“For centuries, old wives’ tales have said that eating raw molluscs – oysters in particular – would stimulate the libido but there has really been no scientific evidence as to why and if this occurs.

“We think this could be the first scientific evidence of some substance.

“Did Casanova’s 50 oysters really make him frisky? Could be.” Previous speculation about the powers of oysters has centred on the refuelling powers of their high zinc content.

Zinc is found in sperm and men lose between one and three milligrams per ejaculation.

Dr Fisher and his team, partly funded by the United States National Institutes of Health, bought samples of bivalve molluscs – which also include mussels and clams – from fish markets near Dr D’Aniello’s Naples laboratory.

They then used a process called high-performance li-quid chromatography to identify which amino acids were present and in what quantities.

They found two unusual ones – D-aspartic acid (D-Asp) and N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA).

“They are not the normal amino acids that Mother Nature uses,” said Dr Fisher. “You can’t just find them in a vitamin shop.”

Dr D’Aniello had found in earlier experiments that injecting the amino acids into rats triggered a chain reaction of hormones that ended with the production of testosterone in males and progesterone in females.

“Increased levels of those hormones in the blood means you are more active sexually,” he said.

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Who Really Is Teaching You About LOVE Everyday?

by zfortadminin LOVE

Self love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship – that with yourself.

The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love yourself is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule tells us to “love your neighbour as you love yourself”. You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though, and you will find that at its very centre is the command to love yourself.

The Mistaken Identity of Self Love: First, let us dispel some myths about what it means to love yourself. Self love is not about being arrogant or egotistical. It is not about comparing yourself to others to determine if you are good enough. It is not about always putting yourself first at the expense of others. It is not about always getting your way. It is not about always winning. It is not about “only looking after number one”.

Will the Real Self Love Please Stand Up?

To love yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of your existence. It is to accept yourself as you are – the “light” parts and the “dark”, the “good” and the “bad” – while knowing that the real you is above the perceived dualities of the physical realm. It is to be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about knowing your values and your boundaries and honouring them. It is about teaching others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself. It is about being kind to yourself. It is about looking after your mind, your body and your spirit; all three. It is about knowing you are worth it, not because of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you, but because love is your birthright no matter what.

What Do You Most Need to Hear? Take a moment to think of those things you most need to hear from others. Whether it be that they love you, admire you, accept you just as you are, appreciate you, forgive you or anything else. Take a piece of paper and write them down. Make sure to exhaust your list. You will find that what you most want to hear from others is what you most need to tell yourself. You should now have a list of positive affirmations tailor made for you. Repeat them every day, morning and night and include them in your creative visualization sessions. You will soon enjoy a sense of self love and inner peace that you never had before.

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5 Myths That Are Holding Back Your Sex Life

by zfortadminin Sex

After reading through this list, you may be on your way to a better sex life.

Plenty of experienced guys think they know everything about sex, but do they really? Many accept stories about their friend’s sister’s cousin as fact without question. Stories have a way of growing more exaggerated over time, though, making it difficult to judge what’s truth and what’s a complete fabrication. Even a long list of partners is no way to guarantee knowledge.

We’re on a mission to put the truth back into getting it on, so we’re busting five myths you’ve probably heard a thousand times. Surprisingly, the facts offer a lot of good news. After reading through this list, you may be on your way to a better sex life.

1. Bigger is better

Most guys have heard a few people say size doesn’t matter, though very few seem to believe it. When it comes right down to it, you’re probably a lot more concerned about the ampleness of your member than your partner is. A recent survey of more than 1,000 people from Cosmopolitan.com found 89% of respondents weren’t concerned with their partner’s penis size. And some evidence suggests it has more to do with proportion than actual size.

The real takeaway is you should know how to work with what you’ve been given. Relationship expert and author of The Seven Natural Laws of Love, Deborah Anapol, penned a piece in Psychology Today that indicated a smaller size can actually be an advantage. “A smaller penis is often easier to maneuver inside the vagina, and may motivate the man to explore a variety of ways to please his lover,” she said.

2. It’s all downhill after you turn 40

Most of us reach our peak physical fitness sometime in our 20s. This includes a combination of endurance, strength, and flexibility, all important building blocks for a successful romp in the sheets, right? Maybe not. Researchers from the University of Gothenburg found 62% of women and 71% of men over the age of 70 reported feeling very satisfied with their sex lives. Maybe even more important is the fact these percentages have substantially increased since the 1970s.

Some of this may be due to a stronger relationship. Melanie Davis, a certified sexual educator (CSE), told Men’s Health, “There’s less emphasis on quick orgasms and more focus on sensuality, creativity, and emotional connection.” Basically, it has a lot more to do with the person than the specific sensation.

Older individuals also tend to have a fewer sexual hangups. Many young people find it hard to speak up during intercourse, but if you don’t tell your partner what you want, it’s unlikely they’ll just figure it out. Dr. Carmella Sebastian, an expert in women’s wellness and sexuality, told WebMD she didn’t experience multiple orgasms until after she’d had two children. She attributed it to increased confidence that allowed her to start asking for what she really wanted in the bedroom.

3. Men care more about sex than women do

We’ve all heard it before: Men think about sex every seven seconds. No one has been able to verify this statistic, but it’s widely accepted as truth or at least as mostly true. The other supposed truth is that women fall far behind when it comes to thinking about a romp in the sheets. According to a 2011 study from Ohio State University, men think about sex 19 times per day while women average 10 per day. Still more research suggests women may actually have a greater craving for bedroom time than men. One recent survey found 53.2% of females want more sex in their relationships.

Keep in mind, it’s the individual that matters most. Some people naturally have higher sex drives than others, regardless of gender. One story from The Huffington Post featured 13 females who craved far more sexual intimacy than their partners.

4. Great sex is effortless

Our notions of sex and how it should unfold are informed a little too much by pop culture. Things happen so effortlessly onscreen, but that’s only because 15 minutes of awkward conversation and fumbling doesn’t make for good TV. As AskMen pointed out, “the human body doesn’t come with an instruction manual.” Each person is different and just because one partner liked a particular move doesn’t mean your next one will. Honest communication is the best way to find your bedroom groove, and it may take a few times to get there.

There’s also no guarantee a great bedroom session will just happen. Rachel Hills, author of The Sex Myth, told New York Post spontaneity is more likely at the beginning of a relationship. Later on, it usually takes more of an effort. Scheduling time for sex might sound ridiculous, but it’s a good way to take the pressure off both you and your partner.

5. Monogamy only comes naturally to women

Men have unfairly been labeled as players, and once again, it’s probably been influenced by movies and TV shows. The Atlantic highlighted a 2013 book by journalist Daniel Bergner called What Do Women Want?, which suggested females may actually be less inclined to monogamy than males. More recently, a study published in Biology Letters found all people, rather than a specific gender, either tend towards monogamy or polygamy.

Once again, communication is key. You and your partner should both be honest about what it is you’re looking for. If one is seeking a spouse while the other just wants to have fun, you’re both in for a messy ending.

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Original Article

Are You Emotionally Cheating? Find Out.

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

The chemistry was obvious, but nothing ever “happened.” Or did it?

Like many women, René (who asked that only her middle name be used), a writer from northern New Jersey, had two husbands: a regular spouse and a “work husband,” a man — interesting, smart, funny — with whom she spent 9 hours a day. The chemistry was obvious, but nothing ever “happened.” Or did it?

They made a beeline for each other every morning, and their chats became more and more personal. “I definitely talked to him about things I didn’t talk to my husband about, including my husband, because my marriage was so unhappy,” René says. He sat a little too close at meetings. She admits she fantasized about a relationship.

Was she cheating? Gail Saltz, MD, associate professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell School of Medicine, says “probably.”

“Many of these emotional affairs do move into a sexual affair,” Saltz says. “If they don’t, it’s easy enough to say to yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong.”

The problem, she says, is the attachment to this other person impacts the marriage. “Ultimately it ends painfully one way or another: Your marriage ends, or you’ve got to give this person up.” René’s marriage eventually ended in divorce, but this doesn’t have to happen to you.

Often, people who become involved in emotional affairs feel something is lacking at home. “It makes them feel good to feel understood, to feel desired. It’s like candy. You go home and have your vegetables, and you go to work and you have candy.”

For some spouses — more often women, Saltz says — learning of an emotional affair can be worse than discovering sexual infidelity. “Everybody understands a sexual act need not necessarily contain affection or intimacy. It could be literally about a sexual act. Whereas the emotional affair feels like it’s much more about being connected, about loving or liking.”

Signs You’ve Crossed the Line

According to Saltz, these seven red flags suggest you may have entered into an emotional affair:

  1. You spend a lot of emotional energy on the person. “You end up sharing stuff that you don’t even share with your partner — hopes and dreams, things that would actually connect you to your partner.”
  2. You dress up for that person.
  3. You make a point to find ways to spend time together, and that time becomes very important to you.
  4. You’d feel guilty if your partner saw you together; you are doing things and saying things that you would never do or say in front of your spouse.
  5. You share your feelings of marital dissatisfaction.
  6. You’re keeping secret the amount of time you’re spending with the person (including emailing, calling, texting).
  7. You start to feel dependent on the emotional high that comes with the relationship.

Quitting the Affair

These affairs can be hard to stop, Saltz says. But to give your marriage a chance, “you just have to end it. I don’t think there’s a halfway. It’s too slippery a slope.” If it’s someone you can’t avoid, have a direct conversation. Tell them, “I need to not do this,” Saltz says.

Your next step: Figure out what led you to make the connection with this other person, says psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful.

“One of the critical tasks necessary for the couple to survive emotional infidelity is for both partners to explore its roots — why did it happen? What does it say about me, you, and us as a couple?” She adds, “It’s better to speak up and bring the conflict into the open than confide secretly in someone else.”

Instead of playing the blame game, identify contributing factors on both sides.

If you want to save your marriage, the earlier you deal with problems, the better, Saltz says. “And the earlier you cut off something that leads in the direction of betrayal, the better.”

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Original Article

Safer Sex …You Can Have It.

by zfortadminin Sex

Condoms and communication make sex so much safer. Safer sex is a general term used to describe methods for reducing the chance that you will spread or catch sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also known as sexually transmitted infections or STIs).

Safer sex is a general term used to describe methods for reducing the chance that you will spread or catch sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also known as sexually transmitted infections or STIs). The idea is that with a few simple tools and strategies, you can increase safety without sacrificing your sex life.

Use condoms

The first and best line of defense is to use a latex barrier whenever you have sex (if you have a latex allergy, use polyurethane instead). That means using a condom on the penis or on a sex toy; latex gloves on your hands; and when engaging in oral sex, dental dams or plastic wrap to cover the anus or vagina.

Get tested for HIV and other STDs

Knowing your own status is the only way to approach the next point honestly.

Communicate

Safer sex also involves talking with your partner, discussing activities and risks and making educated choices together. Of course, sex raises a number of other questions. Do you trust your partner? How do you get a guy to use a condom if he refuses to do so? What if you are suspicious that your partner is not being monogamous?

Some people choose to avoid risky activities completely or find ways to reduce the complications associated with them—although this strategy still requires honesty, communication, and STD testing.

Be monogamous or abstinent

Total abstinence is the only 100% effective safe sex method; it’s just not that realistic for most people. Next in line is a long-term monogamous relationship in which both partners know their status to be negative for STDs (itself requiring testing and honest communication), and both stay true to the monogamous ideal.

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Original Article

Truly Sexy People Do These 4 Things

by zfortadminin Body, SEX TIPS

Last year, I became acquainted with a man who was truly one of the sexiest people I’ve ever met.

I met him via a friend of mine who had gone out on a few dates with him and was absolutely besotted. She was not alone. Apparently, this man had his pick of many women, most of whom were very physically attractive.

The clincher was he was not particularly stunning looking himself. In fact, if most people passed him on the street, they wouldn’t have given him a second glance. He was at best an average-looking man with thinning hair and a slight pot belly.

Still, he definitely had it—a charisma that can only be experienced in order to do it justice. Within minutes, I understood completely why this man had managed to charm my friend and so many other women: he seemed instinctively in tune to the fact that the biggest and most thrilling sex organ any of us possesses is the one between our ears.

I freely admit that naturally sexy people have been the objects of fascination and envy to me ever since I was 13 and tried (unsuccessfully) to be one of those sexy types by carefully following the tips and advice inTeenmagazine.

I didn’t just fail in my fruitless attempt, but I failed miserably.

Like many, I mistakenly thought that all one needed to be sexy was to have the “right” look, the “right” voice, or the “right” clothing.

I was wrong.

True sexiness often has nothing whatsoever to do with appearance and contrary to what the media tries to sell us, it cannot be bought at the local mall.

While I have yet to harness the magical formula for myself, here are a few things I have noticed after having spent time around the truly sexy.

1. Truly sexy people are comfortable in their own skin.

While we hear the above expression a lot and many of us parrot it, few know what it actually means, much less what it feels like.

Simply put, it means accepting yourself for how you are rather than how you want to be. It doesn’t mean, “I’ll love myself once I lose 10 lbs” or “I’ll love myself once others tell me that I am lovable.” Sexy people don’t need or want anyone’s permission to accept themselves, and the rest of us shouldn’t either. If we do wait, there’s a good chance it’s never going to happen.

2. They don’t put others down including themselves.

In my experience, one of the least sexy things anyone can do is build themselves up by tearing others down.

In the case of the man I mentioned at the beginning of the piece, I cannot recall him ever pointing out the flaws of others or even comparing himself to others.

Granted, I’m sure he was aware of his physical shortcomings just like the rest of us, but he didn’t feel the need to point them out. He was even confident enough to post shirtless pictures of himself on social media sites which again suggested he was at ease with himself.

3. They are smart.

People may lust over “perfect” models or celebrities but the reality is no matter how much we lust for someone, even if we get them we’re eventually going to have to have a conversation.

Smartness is sexiness, and one doesn’t have to be a tenured professor at Harvard to be smart. Smartness is one of those things that can be cultivated.

In many cases, just having an interest or passion for something can be enough. At the very least, it shows that one is thinking about something other than themselves and that is sexy.

4. They are genuine.

Most of us strive by to be genuine and think we are when in fact, we are anything but.

Genuine doesn’t mean being nice all the time. It doesn’t mean never showing ours flaw or admitting that certain people or things irritate us. There is something extremely sexy about being able to show ourselves as the flawed, complex beings that we are and not worrying if it repels others.

While I am certainly not there, I cannot help but admire those who are.

If I could sum up the number one secret of being sexy it would be to be yourself.

Unlike great beauty or wealth, sexiness is something we can all cultivate for free. While it may not be easy to do, it is nonetheless possible.

In the meantime, if you have to be around one of these rare souls, study and observe them the way an apprentice would a master artisan. This is one case where imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

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Original Article

Crying and How to Embrace It

by zfortadminin Mind

From time to time, one or the other is going to cry. Some people are natural at being present with a crying partner, but others really struggle to know what to do, how to respond, what to feel, what to say.

If you are not the cause of the tears, it is good to hold and hug and say what is happening in a kind, gentle voice. E.g. “You’re sad; you’re crying; it’s so sad; I’m so sorry you’re sad”. You don’t need to say much and you don’t need to say anything clever. Just say what is happening.

Do not say, “Better to get it out; you’ll feel better after a good cry”, etc.

Do not say, “Oh, don’t cry; please don’t cry; big boys/girls don’t cry”, etc.

The encouragements to cry and the instructions not to cry are both examples of what people do when they are not comfortable with being in the presence of tears. They find it hard to attend to the other’s sadness and instead attend to their own agenda of reducing their own anxiety.

If you are the cause of the tears, it is good to hold and hug, too, but respect a rebuff. Don’t insist on hugging when your tearful partner has indicated that she or he wants you to keep your distance. What you are being told to do is “stand back and witness the unhappiness you have caused.” This does not mean you can leave the room; it means stay, attend, but respect the current wish for you to give your partner some space.

If you are allowed to hold and hug, do so while saying, “I’m so sorry; I can’t bear to see you so sad; I can’t bear to be the cause of your unhappiness; I’m very sorry.”

Do not ask for forgiveness, do not debate the issue or try to apportion blame or to say it is 50/50. It may be 50/50, but now is not the time to say it. Now is the time to offer comfort.

If you do not know the cause of the tears, it is good to hold and hug, while asking, “what’s happened? Why are you crying? Do you want to tell me?” Respect any signals to keep quiet, or to stop asking questions, or to stop hugging. The questions that I have suggested, however, are likely to draw a response that will clarify the cause. Be patient, let the tears flow, and then when your partner can speak, he or she is likely to tell you the reason.

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