3rd Date Vs 30th Date
The beginning of a relationship is full of romantic, sweet moments. But what happens after you both get comfortable?
Tag: Relationships
It’s All Relative: Meeting the Parents
Whether you’ve been hot and heavy with your new main squeeze for a couple of months or a couple of years, meeting the parents is stressful for everyone. Your partner is hoping you get along with his entire network of relatives. His family is hoping you’re not too weird/crazy/mean to be dating him. You’re just trying to hold it all together. Luckily, with a little foresight and planning, you can ensure an easy introduction that works for everyone.
Do the homework.
If you’ve only been on a few dates with your honey, you might want to hold off on meeting Mom, Dad, and the rest of the gang until you get a sense of how he or she gets along with everyone. Do they talk and text everyday, or do they only get together at major holidays? Is there major drama with his older brother or her younger sister? Do they just not talk about long-lost Uncle Terry, or are conspiracy theories welcome? Also remember, if you’re being pressed to meet the family before you’re ready, be sure to let your partner know that you need time to get to know him or her better before you can meet everyone else.
Start small.
If your partner is set on you being his plus one at a big family wedding or this year’s multi-generational reunion, suggest that you meet a smaller group of his relatives to start out, especially if you’re shy or overwhelm easily in large groups. Meeting just your partner’s parents or siblings can give you a sense of their family dynamic without the added pressure of participating in a bouquet toss or three-legged race. Plus, you offer them the opportunity to really get to know you as a person, rather than as your date’s arm candy–it will make introductions at bigger family functions easier for everyone involved.
Set yourself up for success.
Encourage your partner to choose a meetup situation that works for everyone. After all, he knows everyone involved. Suggest avoiding passive activities, like attending a movie or sporting event, where conversation isn’t the focus. Sharing a meal, meeting for drinks, and other low-key social activities are best.
When the big day finally arrives, do everything you can to ensure a smooth introduction. Get a good night’s sleep, eat well, exercise–do whatever it is that helps you be your best self. Be polite and respectful, and follow your partner’s lead. Avoid discussing religion, politics, and other hot- button topics for the time being. Be sure to give everyone a basic picture of who you are. Tell them about your hometown, your work, and your hobbies. Keep it friendly and light–humor is your friend here.
Give honest feedback to your partner.
After you’ve both made it through the first meeting, take the time to check in with your partner. Let her know what you liked or didn’t like about the family, or ways that she behaved when she was with them that are red flags for you. If your relationship is getting serious, it’s important that decide together about what kind of family interactions are acceptable, and whether the two of you see eye-to-eye on how you fit into one another’s families. And don’t forget to emphasize the positives you experienced with his family–remembering the moments that worked alongside the moments that didn’t will go a long way toward figuring out the best way to build your relationships with family as a couple.
Sexual Fantasies You’ll Both Love
Because a sex life filled with imagination is a better one.
Whether you’ve been together for two years or sixteen, you know how important passion is in your relationship. But did you know how key fantasies are in having a happy relationship? Being able to communicate your desires to your partner, keep things new and add imagination to sex will do wonders for you—both in the bedroom and outside.
And you’re not alone: About 95 percent of people report that they have sexual fantasies. According to a study conducted at the University of Granada, “women have pleasant romantic fantasies more frequently than men—a few times a month. Men, however, fantasize more frequently about sexcapades involving “being promiscuous”, “being a swinger”,”participating in an orgy.”
But don’t let these preferences hold you back, there are tons of fantasies to try with your significant other. Shares your desires, experiment and discover out what works best for you both as a couple.
You may surprise yourself—and get closer to your partner in the process.
1. Boss & Employee Fantasy
Just a few months ago, we told you that 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies about getting it on with coworkers in their office. So why not dress up in your work attire, get behind the desk and re-create the hot new hookup scenario that’s been on your mind? The allure of having sex with a coworker, especially your boss has to do with power—gaining it.
2. Ravishment Fantasy
According to a study from UCLA, 64 percent of women fantasize about this passionate and forceful kind of love. Why? Researchers felt that by imagining the man telling her what to do, the woman is able to give herself “permission to do the raunchy, hot sex stuff she feels a little embarrassed about, but deep down really does want to try.”
Now does the Fifty Shades Of Grey frenzy make more sense to you? YourTango expert Tammy Nelson explains that being ravished makes sense on an anatomical level for women, too. “A woman has to physically let go in order to orgasm.”
3. Storybook Lover Fantasy
This fantasy is more based on love that can be found in romance novels than the kind that takes place in the Victorian era. See how one woman’s sex dream came true when she told her boyfriend about her Clark Kent fantasy.
4. Be An Exhibitionist
In his study of sexual fantasy, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head?, Brett Kahr found 19 percent of people fantasize about being watched during sex — and another 5 percent fantasize about taking it off in public. In for the risk? Put on a show. Get it on near the windows in your home or hotel room.
5. Be Voyeuristic
Does watching the show from the sidelines turn you on? Whether you’re spying on the neighbors or the couple getting it on at the beach, this fantasy is a common one. One easy way to make it happen? Go to nude beach or a sex show with your partner.
6. Watch Each Other Masturbate
Put a twist on your voyeuristic fantasy by watching your partner masturbate — or let them watch you. It will help them understand more of what you desire, and of course, it’s an instant turn on.
7. The Stranger Fantasy
Sharing a fantasy for the very first time? Here’s an easy one both men and women enjoy. There’s something sexy and mysterious about anonymity. In fact, the LELO Global Sex Survey discovered that having sex with a stranger is on the rise this year. Easy way to get in on the trend? Turn yourselves into strangers. For as long as you’ve known your partner, pretend you don’t. Different clothes, new hairstyles, different personalities, different names. Start by meeting at the bar and then take your new friend home — keep in character the entire time.
8. Make A Sex Video
Listen up, fellas, while you may be the more visual sex, women are interested in porn, too. A Stanford University study found that women reach peak arousal after just two minutes into an erotic flick. According to Men’s Health, it’s not just celebrities who want to make sex tapes — 40 percent of women want to made a homemade flick with their partners. In 2012, 28 percent of women made a sex video with their guy and in 2014, that number is expected to climb to 52 percent. So get on it while it’s hot. After you watch it make sure to hide it safely or quickly delete it.
9. Threesome Fantasy
Want to get it on with your partner and a another man or woman? Threesomes are a popular one — and they’re even more trendy this year. The LELO study revealed that this year, 20 percent of women will have had a threesome. Some say they love the rush and added stimuli, where as others worry about jealousy and feeling overwhelmed. See what women had to say about their experiences and talk it over with your partner to see if it’s right for you.
10. Have Sex In Public
According to Men’s Health, 64 percent of women want to step outside the bedroom and get frisky in public. It makes sense, the rush, risk of getting caught — it all adds to your experience. Talk about where you both feel comfortable doing the deed, whether it’s an elevator or bathroom.
11. Have Sex Outside
Want the thrill of getting it on outside the bedroom but want to decrease your chances of actually getting caught? Embrace the elements and try doing it in a secluded area outside at night. The grass, the sand, the pool, the great outdoors is your sex playground.
12. Have Sex On An Airplane
Been there, done that with the whole public sex thing? Take it to the next level by joining the mile-high club. According to Men’s Health, 51 percent of women want to get it on up in the air. Take off!
13. Use Sex Toys
What do women really want? Well, studies are leading us to believe it has something to do with blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators and enhanced orgasms. According to the LELO survey, 76 percent of women want to use their toys with their partner. And ladies, don’t be embarrassed to ask about unleashing the toys. The survey found that 89 percent of men would be happy to use them. And it’s not just for your benefit? Sixty-eight percent of couples both climax during intercourse with sex toys.
14. Visit The Strip Club
Thought the nudie bar was dudes-only? Think again. According to Men’s Health, 47 percent of women want to visit a strip club with their guy. It’s exciting, sexy and you’ll be there together. Not sure if it’s your thing? Find one with a twist, like this Vegan strip club in Portland. Lap dance for two, please.
15. Dominate
Power is a rush, there’s no doubt about it. Many women dream about having a man obey their every wish, so why not unleash your inner dominatrix and try it out in the bedroom? You can do this by simply calling all the shots or make commands with whips, handcuffs, etc. Either way, you’ll be in total control and he’ll be completely devoted. Win, win.
16. Be Dominated
On the reverse, many women fantasize about being submissive and losing control to their partner. Again, think Fifty Shades Of Grey. Why is it so popular aside from Christian Grey’s charming ways? Well, actually it has to do will feeling desired. In 2009 University of Kansas study, it was discovered that “forceful submission fantasies” aren’t about humiliation but are instead “a passionate exchange with a powerful, resource-holding and attentive suitor.”
17. Teacher/Student Fantasy
There’s a reason “Hit Me Baby One More Time” was such a popular music video —and we’re going to guess it wasn’t because of Britney Spears’ vocal chords. The schoolgirl fantasy can involve dominance and spanking, but it doesn’t have to. For some, it’s sexy outfit to rip off.
18. Knight In Shining Armor Fantasy
Romantic? This is the fantasy for you. Whether he’s a fireman saving you from a smoky room, or a life guard carrying you out from the ocean — in this fantasy your guy comes to your rescue and then seduces you.
19. Put On A Strip Show
Guys will surely love this one. But for the ladies, it’s just as enjoyable. You get to put on your sexiest lingerie, take it off and tease him in the process, private lap dance included. The woman will have control and the man will be turned on and begging for more.
20. Bring Food Into The Bedroom
Ice, fruit, whipped cream, you name it, it can all enhance your sexual experience. Seduce your partner with foodplay and hit their erogenous zones in the process.
21. A Man In Uniform Fantasy
Love a man in uniform? For some, it’s the clothes and for others it’s their courage. According to Psychologist and Relationship Expert, Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., “The ‘uniform’ may signify that the man is able to manage life’s troubles.” Have your partner dress the part and play the role.
22. Play Doctor
Sick and the only way to fully recover is with an orgasm? Doctor to the rescue.
23. Act Out Your Favorite Sex Scene From A Movie
Get into character and re-create your favorite cinematic sex scene. Whether it’s Basic Instinct or a celebrity sex tape, discuss the scene with your partner and get ready for an Academy Award-winning performance.
24. Give Each Other Sensual Massages
Remember when one woman got a happy ending massage? This year, sales of couples’ massagers increased by 82 percent. Get with it and make your partner melt with an arousing rub down. Need some pointers?
24. Try Erotic Spanking
Why do people love kinky butt-smacking? Aside from the physical pleasure, Pleasure Mechanics explains some “love erotic spanking for the taboo thrill of it.” Here’s how to talk to your partner about whipping you into shape.
25. Personal Trainer Fantasy
Hate working out? Here’s a way to enjoy it. One of you is the personal trainer and the other is the obedient trainee. For Alison Z, it’s her go-to bedroom persona, “When he asks me to get on the ground and give him 20, I’d drop to my knees and give him something else … ”
26. Hot Mechanic Fantasy
For Brianna S, hooking up with the shirtless hottie covered in grease is her bedroom fantasy. “He would take me to the back seat and get to work under the hood of something else. Let’s just say by the time we’re done … the car repairs are on him.”
27. Sex On A Boat
Want to get it on out in the middle of the ocean? Well, I’m guessing you’re a Leonardo DiCaprio fan. But even if you’re not on Titanic-like ship or a Wolf Of Wall Street yacht, there’s still an opportunity to get down and dirty when you set sail. And you’re not the only one with the nautical fantasy. Match.com’s Singles In America survey revealed that 50 percent of singles hope to have sex on boats.
28. Use Feathers
Whether you choose to be tied up or not, have your partner tease you with the light touch of a feather.
29. Try Group Sex
Certainly not everyone’s fantasy but if you enjoy threesomes and are curious about bringing more partners into the bedroom, this might be one a thrilling and liberating ones to explore.
30. Hotel Maid Fantasy
Maybe it’s the allure of being on vacation but hotel sex is exciting and liberating, which may be why the maid fantasy is a hot one. Can’t make it to the hotel? With a sexy maid costume and knock from “housekeeping”, you can re-ignite the spark in no time.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
Original Article
What I Learnt About Sex from Game of Thrones
A week ago, I intended to write an article about tantric sex. Then I started watching season one of Game of Thrones. Now, and until I’ve caught up on seasons two, three and four, my boyfriend will be lucky if we have any sex at all, let alone sex of the tantric variety, which, let’s face it, takes ages.
Fortunately, my complete immersion in Game of Thrones has not precluded sexual exploration, because the show is bursting with nooky. If you find yourself watching one of the rare scenes with no sexual content, all you have to do is close your eyes, count to 60, and when you open them again, you will almost certainly be confronted with a nice pair of buttocks or breasts. If the plot does not permit any of the main actors to be naked at this particular time, the producers will have festooned the scene with a handful of naked extras (if Game of Thrones teaches us one thing, it is that serious political conversation and semi-clad prostitutes are by no means mutually exclusive).
For someone who likes to talk (a lot), I’m surprisingly coy when it comes to having serious conversations about sex within my relationships. Rather than be explicit about what I want, I tend to try to prod my partners in the right direction. Sometimes this works, sometimes not; often this approach results in me, and possibly them, settling for something that’s not quite right.
But after watching Game of Thrones at my boyfriend’s side, I thought its content could be a good springboard for some more direct chat – we were watching sex, so why not talk about it?
I began with a question about the apparently favored position of men doing it in made-up medieval Westeros: ‘Do you think they did doggy style more back then, or are the producers trying to make a point?’ (We were on episode three, and Daenerys had just succumbed to her first, and not very nice, experience of marital love.) There followed a brief debate on the extent to which the sexual content of Game of Thrones was well-researched. Our conclusion: not very. But, shortly after, my question was answered by the events unfolding on screen. Daenerys, keen to make her bow-legged husband happy, learns a few tricks from her slave, and, soon she is riding Drogo like the lady she is. On top.
And he likes it!
My next question brought the topic back round to us: ‘Do you like doing it doggy style?’
‘Sometimes,’ the boy slapped and squeezed my bum, ‘when I’m feeling like a Dothraki’.
‘But what’s your favourite position,’ I asked, confident that I already knew the answer.
‘On top.’
I wanted to be sure we were on the same page, ‘You or me?’
‘Me,’ he said.
And this was unexpected. Because everything I had observed during the two plus years of our relationship had told me otherwise. ‘But I thought you liked it best when I was on top…’
‘I do,’ he clarified, ‘at the end. But I like starting with me on top’.
This was interesting. ‘Why?’
‘Because I like doing what I want for a bit.’
This answer shouldn’t have surprised me (not least, because his reason for liking being on top is exactly the same as mine), but it did, because we hardly ever do it missionary style. I wondered why he had never mentioned this to me before, but, of course, I already knew the answer: the fact was, I had never asked.
Now I know that this reluctance to talk about the finer details of sex cannot be restricted to me. I have talked about sex on stage and at work, with friends and complete strangers. I reckon I have pretty relaxed boundaries when it comes to discussing matters of the body, but I still find it hard to say: this is what I want from you, now what do you want from me? Until now, I’ve not thought much about how to change this. When I came across articles about being vocal in bed, I would think with a touch of regret, ‘That’s just not me,’ before moving on to the next one. But what these articles are often lacking are tips on how to initiate these oh-so-personal conversations. Game of Thrones has taught me that, by talking about the sex we see on TV, we can find a more natural way into talking about our own sex lives.
Last night the boy and I had sex. He took the lead, and I got a lot of pleasure from knowing that, this time, we were doing what he wanted – not just for a bit, but the whole way through. The pace of our sex was slightly different; for once, he stayed on top throughout, and, for both of us, it felt great.
Afterwards I asked him if he knew why it had been so good.
He thought for a second, ‘Because we haven’t done it for ages?’
I shook my head, ‘Because of Game of Thrones’.
He wasn’t convinced. But I knew…
5 Habits that will Prevent You from Getting Married
Are you standing in your own way of love?
Marriage is one of the most important decision in the life of every person and according to relationship experts, harmless habits can make people lonely and prevent them from getting married.
Sometimes highly successful and healthy people often cannot find a real love and get married, because it’s hard to make a right decision in this complicated and artificial world.
Your inability to find a life partner may lie within you, maybe there is something within your subconsciousness that make people walk away from commitment with you.
Diana White of Womanitely lists those 5 unconscious habits:
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They’re afraid of reality: I think that people who’re afraid of reality will never get married if they do nothing to overcome this fear. It’s been proved that every human being is afraid of reality in a varying degree and it’s absolutely normal, because fear is a natural response to danger. But when these fears and deep-seated phobias take over, people become unable to take risks and responsibilities. A bit later these too sensitive and emotional personalities become the victims of their active imagination. I think that this weakness should be eliminated at earliest convenience. Every woman yearns to get married with emotionally strong and self-confident man. Diffident personalities should once and for all realize that life is a constant struggle. If you want to reach success in either marriage or career, you should be ready to take up the running and face harsh realities of life with you head held high.
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They prefer to be passive lazybones: In most cases lonely people are passive lazybones. The pursuit of happiness and self-cultivation aren’t their pair of shoes. They don’t try to take the initiative, but want to take the best things from life. If they believe that they’ll eventually get married, then their chances are limited. Nothing in this life happens eventually. Life is a dynamic thing that requires people to be extremely active and productive. If you want other successful people to notice your talents, beauty and the depth of your rich inner world, you should open up and do your best to express yourself. But how can you meet a wonderful partner if you enjoy aimless passive pastime cooped up in your house? I’m sure that every lazybones can become an interesting and attractive person, if they finally get involved in different activities and find friends with common interests.
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They’re too judgmental: Nowadays many people have incredibly high standards, especially when it comes to personal life and marriage. Sometimes human principles don’t let people think rationally, but provoke them to judge others for their failures and weaknesses. People who don’t take any effort to find a compromise will never get married, because a healthy marriage is always based on mutual understanding and respect. Wise people say that sometimes it’s necessary to keep silent if you’re at odds with your partner. It will help you keep your love relationship healthy and strong. Furthermore, women should keep in mind that their habit of blaming their partners for low incomes can seriously damage man’s self-esteem. As a result, deep-seated contentment in man’s heart can gradually chill the ardor of his love. By all means, try not to offend people around you and you’ll be able to get married in a quite short period of time.
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They dedicate their life to career: Workaholism has become one of the most difficult and actual problems of a modern world. This problem has a lot of advantages and disadvantages. Do you believe that workaholism can make you a happy person? If a successful career is the top priority in your life, then sooner or later, you’ll achieve a desirable result. All you have to do is throw yourself into this work and live for it. Unfortunately, between two stools you fall to the ground. If you choose career, then you should be ready to sacrifice your health and love. Almost all workaholics find it difficult to build and maintain happy relationships, because they work and think only about their projects 24 hours a day. They have no time for love and romance.
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They cry for the moon: Today both men and women have blurred vision of reality. It seems to me that ladies still believe that one day a wonderful knight in shining armor will appear and win their hearts. Men waste valuable time looking for a bachelor’s wife. It’s high time to get rid of this pointless habit and finally realize that perfect people do exist only in your imagination. The only way to find a suitable partner is to set realistic goals. You need to be sure that your dreams and desires coincide with reality. If you’re dreaming to get married with Johnny Depp by all means, then your private life is in danger.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
6 Empowered Feminine Ways to Attract a Great Mate
Workout
This may seem to some, the most obvious, and to others, the most shallow, but taking care of your health and body is a sign of self-respect. When you respect yourself, you open the door for others to respect you. I’m not saying you have to eat a carrot a day and start running marathons, just maintain a moderately healthy lifestyle. I once did a juice cleanse for a week and immediately felt like a new woman. I was hit on multiple times before I found out I hadn’t actually lost any weight. When you start to feel good about yourself it shows, and others respond to that newly found confidence.
Do Something out of your Comfort Zone
This has 3 outcomes. When you do something that is foreign to you, you
- Might find a new hobby or interest
- Might meet someone you get on with
- Might find something you abhor and/or a person you abhor
Either way, it’s worth a shot. When you open yourself up to new things you become a more well-rounded person. The more things you have exposed yourself to, the more you will have in common, or at least be able to have an intelligent conversation on with others. I joined an improv class once because doing improv was my biggest fear and ended up meeting a handsome businessman who was doing the class to help him feel more creative in the workplace. We both decided we weren’t improv people and then made out. You never know who you will meet and where so be careful to close doors.
Masturbate
I know… Seriously though, going weeks or months without sexual sensation can translate into anger and frustration. Nobody wants to be the bitch that needs to get laid. If you’re not the type that’s into one night stands, you might have to do it yourself for a bit. Use that imagination, and if you need help there’s a really hot video on youtube of Bradley Cooper speaking French.
3 More Ways on Next Page….
5 Courtship Rules Modern Daters Can Use
Do you know the difference between Courting and Dating?
Courtship isn’t only for the conservative set. Here are 5 rules all daters can use.
Tired of dating? Have you considered courtship? It’s difficult to define, but the essential difference between courting and dating lies in their purposes: people date for various reasons, but people court only under assumption that they will marry. And despite its old-fashioned connotations, courting is still widely practiced today, especially in religious circles. But even if you’re not religious, courtship guidelines can offer solid advice to the modern daters among us. Check out five guidelines below and find out how they can apply to your dating life, whether or not you’re in for a full-court press…
1. You only court one person at a time. There’s no “shopping around” once you start courting. The “what are we” talk may even occur date number one. This initial commitment is meant to provide the freedom to love each other fully without being afraid that the other person will start considering other partners. Of course, this doesn’t mean all courtships end in marriage, as reality dictates that some things simply aren’t meant to be. It just means that people enter into courtships for the purpose of a serious, future-focused relationship.
Apply this: Be honest and direct about your intentions when you start dating someone. Looking for a rebound? Say so. Want a long-term relationship? Make that clear. Likewise, be honest with yourself. If you want to settle down, don’t feel uncomfortable passing on a man who’s sweet and charming but a total commitment-phobe.
2. The man pursues the woman. While this practice varies from community to community, most groups that favor courtship also favor a more traditional method of wooing. The man initiates the friendship, the “talk,” and even approaches his and the woman’s parents for their blessing. Think The Kite Runner.
Apply this: If you’re a woman eager to let the man take the lead, by all means, let him! For those who prefer an equal-opportunity approach to dating, well… try letting him pay now and then, or at least hold the door for you without being deeply offended. Many men like to feel they’re leading the way, even if you know you secretly have the upper-hand.
3. Family and community are central. Courtships are always conducted publicly, and with the approval of both parties’ parents. Oftentimes, the man will ask the woman’s father for his approval before the courtship officially begins. In more conservative circles, pastors and parents act as matchmakers. The goal is for the family to help the man and woman stay accountable for their level of commitment to each other. So, Mom and Dad are allowed to counsel their son if they feel he is compromising the woman in any way.
Apply this: Sometimes your mother does actually know what’s good for you. Don’t dismiss advice from your elders. Relationships haven’t changed all that much in the past few decades.
Why My Mother Tells My Boyfriend She Loves Him
I’m in a relationship, please don’t hate me!
I’m in a loving committed relationship with an awesome man. We have a beautiful home together in sunny Los Angeles and because he came with a dog, I now have one, too. Overall, it’s pretty great. So great, I’m tempted to put a mini white picket fence around the patio of our ground floor apartment. But considering I’m such a klutz, I’ll probably end up impaling myself on it somehow.
As a girlfriend of mine recently pointed out, ‘this is a MAJOR turn in events’ for me having spent the last 7 years single. Yup. That’s right: seven years. If you gasped in horror, I forgive you. I find that to be the most common reaction to my revelation. (For some of the reasons why, read this)
So when things changed, boy, did they change. I can’t tell you how relieved my mother is. Our Skype calls now end with her telling my significant other she loves him, whether he’s in the room or not. I’m pretty sure my Dad’s relieved, too. He rarely asks me anymore if I’m ‘eating enough’, which in my family seems to be code for ‘are you happy?’. Which I am. He can see it in my eyes. And my cheeks. I even unintentionally became the Patron Saint for Late Love to my younger female cousin, who wrote to me to ask – and I quote – “How did you manage to trust someone after being single for so long and after meeting so many sh*theads?”
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Oral Sex Road Test: Does Pineapple Juice Make You Taste Better In Bed?
Here’s a sexy taste test that leave you and your partner feeling ecstasy!
Pineapple juice? Celery? One couple takes the ultimate taste test in the bedroom.
I love my boyfriend. And I love giving him blow jobs. What I do not love is the taste of spunk. No matter whose semen it is, it tastes like a cross between sour juice, bitters, mold, and a dirty sock. Even Bobby Flay couldn’t make this milky concoction taste good. I’ve hypothesized women who say it tastes good are either a) lying or b) have tastebuds damaged by years of smoking. But I don’t smoke … and like Abe Lincoln, I cannot tell a lie. I love a nice pearl necklace, but the taste of semen makes me gag.
Maybe it’s nature’s way of saying put that sperm in your vagina, but I couldn’t care less. I am dedicated to being a good girlfriend. I wanted to enjoy his man chowder. I wanted to relish it with the same fervor I do a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Heath Bar Crunch. Intrepid scientist that I am, I wanted to know how to make it taste better.
I had often heard that different food and drink could improve or worsen the taste of semen but the scientific research on it is almost nonexistent. Shrouded in mystery and hearsay many of the methods have few tales of firsthand accounts. So with my boyfriend’s very enthusiastic approval we decided to give it a whirl in a four-part experiment that included pineapple juice, celery, meat (to see if it makes it taste worse and therefore should be avoided) and Masque Flavor Strips, which claim to mask the taste of semen.
To be fair (and in the interest of improving people’s lives everywhere) we decided I should partake in the experiment as well. Although my boyfriend, (we’ll call him M), thinks I taste and smell like daisies and peaches, he’s experienced many a lady who was a little funky below the belt (he chalked it up to bad hygiene). He was skeptical that changing my diet would make any difference given that vaginal lubrication isn’t exactly liquid. But in altering my diet we were hoping to at least find out.
Men and women of the world, you’re welcome.
1. Pineapple Juice
Since what seems like the invention of the juicer, the wonders of pineapple juice have been lauded for their semen-sweetening abilities. And after my first sip I can see why; it’s like drinking a glass of sugar water. So sweet is the bright yellow-orange juice I feel like I might instantly go into diabetic shock. And I’m not even diabetic. M, for his part isn’t as grossed out at first, but after three days emphatically tells me he can’t possibly drink another glass of pineapple juice without hurling.
We had our first tasting while on a southwest road trip. It was a warm summer day, the scenery was beautiful, and I felt inspired to make the drive a little more exciting. So while M was driving, I unzipped his pants and went to work. Maybe it was the wind blowing in our hair or the bubbling sounds of the river next to us, but M came faster than he ever had. Swishing him around my mouth, I realized it actually did taste significantly sweeter. Not coconut crème brûlée sweet, but sweet enough to neutralize any harsh flavors. Gone was the bitter, sour, taste and its place was a neutral lightly sugary taste that was much more palatable than the original. To M’s delight, I let out an enthusiastic “mmmmm!” I was surprised and excited; maybe I could start to swallow without gagging!
When we finally got to our destination, M quickly threw me on my back and went to work downstairs. Fortunately for me he had nothing to report. I still tasted and smelled exactly the same. Given how foul pineapple juice is, the last thing I needed was for him to get addicted to my pineapple-infused method regions.
2. Celery
After doing some research, I begin to suspect M has tricked me. Celery is known more for increasing liquid volume not changing flavor. Perhaps he’s just looking forward to giving me a larger pearl necklace? According to connoisseur of all things sex-related, Motley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee in his book Tommyland asked porn star Peter North how he “sandblasts every single girl in his scenes with a gallon of man juice.” To which North told him to eat a bunch of celery the day before.
When I confront him, M insists he was not trying to fool me and that he really heard celery makes semen taste good. So we proceed as planned. Perhaps the celery would even produce the elusive female jizz. In case you’re wondering, a bunch of celery is a lot. At 6’3, M can eat all day long and had no problem incorporating the celery into his diet (though by day three even he’s sick of it). At 5’1, I have the metabolism and appetite of a small bird. Eating that much celery causes me to eliminate things I actually enjoy eating. For example, instead of my normal scrambled eggs for breakfast I am now eating celery with peanut butter. Snack time, I skip mixed nuts for celery with ranch.
Three days later, stuffed to the gills with celery, we take turns going down on each other while watching a basketball game on my sofa. I brace myself waiting for a geyser of semen to shoot out at me. Instead all I got was the normal load. I suppose if I had been trying to get pregnant I’d be disappointed, but seeing as I wasn’t I was thrilled to not have to swallow any extra. Flavorwise, the semen sample was better tasting than normal (as in not bitter or salty) but not as good as the sweeter pineapple-infused version.
As for me, M, (as he predicted), couldn’t tell the difference even after a good 20 minutes of oral.
7 Ways to Make Sure Your Partner Never Loses Interest in You
Do you want to ignite that passionate spark back in your relationship?
Often times you hear of married couple slowly drifting apart , then the senseless arguments arise and they stop sleeping sleeping together, next on the list will be divorce.
You wonder what happened to these couples who were once so happy together, the good news is that it never has to be this way in your own case.
Holly Riordan of All Women Stalk lists these 7 ways to make sure couples never lose interest in each other:
1. Be Spontaneous: After you’ve been together for a while, you’ll fall into a certain routine. You’ll see each other on certain days, go to certain restaurants, and hang out with certain #people. While there’s nothing wrong with developing a routine, you have to break it every once in a while. Surprise him with reservations for a restaurant in a different town or buy him tickets for a show in the city. Do whatever you can to keep him on his toes.
2. Keep up appearances: You don’t have to wear #makeup every morning and toss out every pair of sweat-pants you own. However, you should occasionally dress nicely just for him. Buy some lingerie or a new dress that he won’t be able to take his #eyes off of. If you’re with the right #man, he’ll return the favor by buying something for himself to wear that you’ll adore.
3. Never stop learning: This one is essential, not only for your #relationship, but for yourself. If you’ve been with your #man for years, then he’ll eventually have nothing left to learn about you–unless you keep trying new things. Join a class or take a trip. That way, you’ll be living a life you enjoy and will constantly have new #things for him to learn about you.
4. Have your own friends: Don’t let your man become your entire life. If he sees that you have plenty of friends that love spending #time with you, he’ll realize how lucky he is to have you and won’t lose interest. That’s why it’s important to organize your time–because you want to have a social life that doesn’t involve your #man.
5. Continue dating: If you act like a boring old married couple, then you’ll start to feel that way. That’s why you need to continue to go out on dates. It’ll give you a #chance to dress up, show each other off in public, and have flirty conversations. If you want your #relationship to stay interesting, you have to act like you’re still in the honeymoon phase, even when you’ve been together for decades.
6. Give him what he wants: You aren’t his slave, so you don’t have to wait on him hand and foot. However, he won’t lose interest in you if you always surprise him by doing something special. If you know he loves cheesecake, pick him up a slice on the way home from work. If you know he hates taking out the garbage, do it for him after he had a rough day.
7. Never lose interest in him: If you don’t want him to lose interest in you, then you can’t lose interest in him. If you’re both happy to be involved in each other’s lives, then you won’t have a problem. You’ll always be excited to spend #time together.
Curated by Erbe
Original Source
Move away from Friend With Benefits to Thriving Relationship
Want something more, it might be time to change your dating approach
If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the bedroom.
The “friends with benefits” (or FWB) relationship is a hot-button issue for many women, so understandably most women hold a preconceived notion of what it is and speak against it.
Many think FWB is just a booty call arrangement and it’s all about sex that doesn’t benefit women in the slightest. Men, on the other hand, are the ones benefit the most out of this arrangement.
Is that so? That very much depends.
Not every woman wants a relationship and not every woman wants a relationship with the guy(s) she sleeps or has slept with, just like not every guy does!
Shocking, isn’t it?
What usually follows are the arguments perpetuated by the “Oxytocin Myth” that women will willy-nilly fall in love or bond with every guy they have sex with because of Oxytocin, the “cuddle” hormone released by men and women during sex and orgasm and physical closeness such as cuddling, kissing and hugging.
Oxytocin indeed bonds women to their partners, but … here’s the catch: that doesn’t mean every woman will act like a psycho and can’t control how deep their feelings are for the guys.
We still have control upon our own emotions. We still have freedom to choose our response. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
To some, this arrangement is a perfect way to prepare themselves for a real relationship when they are ready. It is a great way to practice relationship skills and is healing to those who have just been out of a long-term relationship or marriage.
Perhaps you’re reading this because you are under such predicament… correct? You want to know if you have a chance to turn this arrangement to something more serious and permanent.
My stance is yes … yes … yes!
It’s a limiting belief to think that relationship can only happen a certain way. There is no one form of relationship that is superior to the others. It’s all about what feels right or not right at any given moment.
If you feel you are falling fast for your FWB and want more, here are a few guidelines to follow:
1. You can always change your mind, you know.
If this arrangement doesn’t serve you anymore — the costs really exceed the benefits — you know where the door is, right? Never agree to something you are not comfortable with.
2. Wean yourself off of him.
Of course it’s not that easy to leave because you are hormonally and emotionally attached to him now, so what you need to do is to start weaning yourself off him by seeing him less and seeing others more.
I don’t recommend talking to him about wanting to be serious if he hasn’t initiated the conversation himself because the likelihood is he hasn’t changed his mind about not wanting a relationship.
A man who knows what he wants will go and get it. If he hasn’t moved the relationship forward, it’s because nothing has changed since your agreement. Getting more focused on youwill get him to notice and do something about it if he’s so inclined.
3. Don’t be more invested than he is.
Avoid being a one-down, i.e. a party of the “coupledom” who is more invested and more into the other. The more you are ridden with one-down anxiety, the more you feel vulnerable, helpless, hopeless and desperate. That will translate into you vibe and behaviors and it’s a repellent to most guys.
The secret of stability and longevity of every relationship is when no one is ahead of the other. When you “let yourself go” and start pining, you lose your power and simultaneously his attraction for you.
4. Induce some anxiety into him.
Based on point 3 above, if you can induce some anxiety into him and make him to want to put more efforts into wooing you, the more he will see you as a high-value woman. And since anxiety and uncertainty is an inherent part of romance, the vulnerable feeling he might lose you might trigger him into action.
He needs to yearn for you to fall in love.
5. Work on yourself.
Work on yourself to become a secure, self-sufficient and independent feminine woman. You are soft on the outside but steely strong in the inside. You are full within yourself and you don’t need a man to complete you. I repeat: you don’t need him.
There is a reason why a lot of women pine for guys who don’t reciprocate their love and who are not in their life: it’s because they need them.
There is a place for vulnerability in relationship, but in general you are far more desirable when you don’t need him or any man. Why? Because when you don’t need anyone to be happy, you don’t put pressure on or have high expectations of anyone to do anything for you. You become a magnet to men because they know you will be fine one way or another and they are not going to be made responsible for your happiness or lack thereof. Who wants to be blamed for anyone’s suffering?
Love yourself more than you love him, he will love you more for that! A secure woman who knows what she wants yet isn’t jaded nor desperate and is extremely attractive and desirable.
Once you become that woman, commitment is a matter of finding the right match as it will happen organically.
Curated by Erbe
Original Article
Was it Sexual Healing?
Closing in on my first year living overseas, I had taken the opportunity to check out the countryside as part of an exchange. The program allowed young internationals looking to extend our working holiday another year in Australia by doing farm work.
As you might imagine, while scenic and beautiful, it was not a juggernaut of cool fun and excitement. The farmers treated us mostly like trained animals they didn’t like much. To pass time, I began listening to a podcast on how to understand and let go of your ego and live in the present moment. Fully aware of the irony, I would use these talks to set my mind free of the boring and painful work strewn across the breathtaking landscape. In short, I wore thai fisherman’s pants, got into the best shape of my life, stunk of minty muscle cream and each day rinsed away the sweat, mud and degradation for six minutes (due to the water restrictions imposed by a drought) of heavenly shower time.
During a slow patch of work, I found a flyer in a shop near my hostel. It was advertising a weekend retreat with a name like TOGETHERNESS that claimed to celebrate the masculine and feminine in us all. It was three days of seminars, yoga and dancing around bonfires on a lake and it was right near where I was staying. Perfect.
At 23, I was promptly crowned “the youngest woman,” and was accordingly coaxed to dance around bonfire number one during the opening ceremony along with the youngest man, a 21 year old who was the son of the retreat’s creator, and whose hubris was through the roof.
While ordinarily I would have had my red flags firing on all cylinders, indicating that this was an express train to dreadlocked armpit hair and the Law of Attraction; I felt safe enough to roll with some gentle brainwashing. Perhaps what has gotten me into the most trouble in my life so far, has been encountering an absurd situation and leaning into it out of sheer bewilderment of it’s very existence, coupled with an adolescent sort of curiosity.
The intense introspection of a few months of fieldwork combined with being in my early twenties left me feeling very open to the world. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure what was going on, but I felt utterly blissful the more I surrendered to the experience.
One of the workshops the retreat had offered was something called a “Cuddle Party.” Curious and encouraged by the glowing feedback of the woman next to me examining the daily schedule, I hiked up my fisherman’s pants and shuffled off my birkenstocks into the “puddle” made of pillows.
A burly and round man in his late 30s identifying himself as a “Sexual Healer” explained the exercise where we weren’t allowed to touch one another, unless there was an explicit “Yes.” Our directive was to talk to each other and ask permission to touch each other in various areas that might lead to cuddling, but we were told could not lead to anything sexual unless we wanted to “take it elsewhere”. If we felt like responding with even so much as a “maybe,” we were instructed to default to “No.”
Later that evening, the sexual healer approached me and we started talking. It’s a bit of a blur of patchouli and moonlight, but he proceeded to charm me into his tent like a snake in a basket, and I spent the remainder of the retreat enchanted under his spell. Rather than return to harsh life of cold bunk beds and mean farmers, I enveloped myself in the afterglow of the retreat and floated into the nearest city where most of my new friends, and the Aussie Marvin Gaye incarnate lived.
The first few days were spent in a whirlwind of new thoughts and ideas. He showed me videos about his therapy and how he helped women with chronic pain in their vulvas (known as Vulvodynia, or a depressed vagina, as a friend who had struggled with the affliction would describe it), shared books on open relationships and often casually remarked on how he’d like to one day have a harem.
I absorbed as much information as I could on how his practice helped women and couples. It seemed that I was meeting a lot of young ingenues and very friendly sex workers; a phrase, I was told, which extended from writing erotica for a living to working in a brothel or, providing what I learned was called “full release” massage in your high rise condo to exclusive clientele; and everything in between.
Some of the women who floated in and out of the home were sweet and open. I remember one of my new sex working friends inviting me to her home, showing me her “massage” space, eating a lot of prunes and ordering pizza. She got very sick (probably from the prunes, she ate about 50 of them), and I somehow awoke next to her with her freaking out over seeing my eyes without glasses. She wanted to go and get colonics together. Those plans somehow never materialized.
One of the other women, a young mother of two, stared daggers at me. I later pieced together that she was sort of the Matriarch and it seemed I had unwittingly moved in on her turf. I could never figure out what I had done to upset her, but she had a way of introducing me to the concept of passive aggression in a way I had never experienced.
Marvin (as I’ll refer to him for the remainder of this story) continued my education in his work by showing me a movie about a married couple whose relationship was marred by her inability to climax after experiencing a traumatic sexual event in her past. The sexual healer in the movie “treated” the wife by having sex with her and helping her find her orgasm. The healer saved their marriage and this was the apparent impetus for Marvin’s work. Though Marvin claimed to never have sexual intercourse with his clients, he would “massage” them and provide counsel. He also introduced me to a duo who deftly circumvented anti-prostitution laws in America by dividing the labour and having one woman massage the vulva (or, yoni, as Marvin insisted on referring to it) with instruments (rather than hands or body parts), and the other knelt by her head and talked her through the experience. It was fascinating and confusing. He introduced me to his library of books on open relationships and showed me his “Treatment” room, which was essentially a living/dining room with a massage table and throw pillows. Marvin felt strongly that this area and his bedroom remain separate and expressed that he strived to keep the two sides of his life from blending. He talked to me about the importance of clear communication in all relationships, especially open ones. He created a book comparing photos of yonis next to corresponding flowers. I cautiously ate it up with a spoon and waited for more.
Early on, Marvin tied me up with some very sexy satin ropes, and skilfully continued with his seduction. I sought to understand his work while enraptured with the idea of being a muse. After the first few days, however, I noticed we were spending a lot of time cuddling and walking around naked like we were in a nature documentary; but, strangely, having sex together ground to a startling halt without any real explanation. He would insist that he just wasn’t feeling very sexual. Not one to take a hint, I stuck around.
One evening, while Marvin was conducting a women’s talking circle that I did not qualify for, I had an accident. Not one to interrupt the sanctity of the circle, the loud “BOUUFFFF” sound of an exploding natural heating pad in his kitchen went ignored, until one of the women insisted he check on me. He promptly hid me in his room with an ice pack and returned to the circle.
On the advice of a nurse’s hotline, I took myself and my 56 new blisters to the ER. I made some new friends, cracked some jokes, and relaxed until the shock wore off. Eventually, once his talking circle was finished, Marvin came to collect me. Wrapped in bandages and high on morphine, I suggested we lighten the mood and go out for ice cream. Marvin quietly escorted me to a convenience store, where he waited as I picked up my own pint. Either I wasn’t very good at setting location notes and ambiance preferences for post-traumatic cheer-me-up dates, or it was starting to appear that my position on his pedestal was now really coming apart at the screws. It was not long (but not before falling asleep waiting on his front lawn, while he presumably hooked up with the Matriarch across town) before I packed up my fisherman’s pants and headed south.
My memory paints this story as one of an older man manipulating an impressionable (and possibly clueless) young woman during a vulnerable time in her life, then casting her aside. Someone so eager to help what seemed to be every other woman and encourage open communication and free sexuality, drew me in, adored me and then, when he wasn’t proselytising, swiftly ignored me. It felt like a classic bait and switch. The ole “C’mere, Go Aways” as my best friend used to call it. The more I reached out to understand everything and figure out what I was missing, the more deeply he would withdraw, and his attention and his affection would wane. It took more time than I’m proud of to figure out I had played my part and then hung around a little too long after the curtain call.
Today, I am in a healthy and calm long term relationship. I am kinder to myself, I have learned about this weird concept called “boundaries.” I threw away my fisherman’s pants. I got a tattoo on my arm to cover the physical scars and I saw a counsellor to try and run interference on the emotional ones. It took me years to wrap my head fully around my experience, my true errors in judgement, rather than perceived flaws in my character, as well as my actual flaws in character and how to deal with them. I’m no longer bitter, confused or resentful (most of the time), but I am weary of protecting my emotional soft spots, and immediately suspicious of older men offering cuddles and lectures on female empowerment.
And I will never listen to a Marvin Gaye album with a straight face again.
What Men Want in Bed
Become the passionate vixen men can’t resist.
Want to know the deepest, darkest secrets to arouse a man with wild passion and games? Find out what men want in bed, and learn to be the sex goddess every man desires to be with.
Knowing what men want in bed isn’t rocket science. It’s actually really simple.
To become a sex goddess that your man would love and desire, you don’t need magic.
You just need to know these eight tips on what men want in bed.
What men want in bed
If you were to ask most men what they want in bed, you’re probably going to end up with a lot of vague answers.
And quite frankly, that’s because most men can’t really pinpoint what they want in a girl beyond great looks.
But it’s more than just appearances, it’s about looking into the sexual experience.
When would you, as a girl, say that the sex was great?
You’d obviously know you’ve had great sex when you experience a mind blowing experience that opens the flood gates of ecstasy down there!
So if you’re wondering what men want in bed, keep in mind that they want a girl who can give him an experience of a lifetime, every time.
Remember these eight tips to give him a sexual experience that worth screaming for!
So what kind of a girl do men want in bed? Here goes…
1. A girl who can experiment in bed
Do you like getting freaky in bed? Most lovers are too inhibitive to try new things in bed, and would rather stick with the tried and tested missionary. But don’t stop there. Every now and then, try a few new things to turn each other on.
Indulge in fooling around during foreplay, while you’re teasing each other. And remember not to try too many experiments when you’re actually having sex. Changing too many positions while having sex can actually make your man go limp. And that will not end well, what with him sitting against the bed post all huffy and upset.
3 Ways to Prevent a Sex-Starved Marriage
Is the key to your sexual success in your marriage center around communication? Do you and your spouse actively act out your needs and desires? We take a look at underlying issues that can help you communicate your wildest desires to get the passionate sex life you and your partner crave.
Do (or did) you and your spouse have significantly different levels of desire for sex? If so, you are not alone. Did you know that 1 in 3 couples has a sexual desire gap? But just because you aren’t alone, it doesn’t mean you should be complacent about a ho-hum sexual relationship. You shouldn’t. It can lead to a miserably angry spouse, infidelity and divorce. If you don’t believe me, watch this TEDx talk on The Sex-Starved Marriage
And although solutions to this sexual divide abound in magazines, self-help books and other pop psychology outlets, there is a little talked about fact underlying the problems associated with this sexual void.
The No’s have veto power.
Here’s the scoop. The spouse with lower sexual drive controls the frequency of sex — if she or he doesn’t want it, it generally doesn’t happen. This is not due to maliciousness or a desire for power and control, it’s just seems unimaginable to be sexual if one is not in the mood.
Furthermore, there is an unspoken and often unconscious expectation that the higher desire spouse must accept the no-sex verdict, not complain about it and remain monogamous. After decades of working with couples, I can attest that this is an unfair and unworkable arrangement.
This is not to say that infidelity is a viable solution to disparate sexual interests. It isn’t. As with all relationship conflicts, being willing to find middle ground is the best way to insure love’s longevity.
8 Surprising Facts About Loving a Highly Sensitive Person
Energy takes on a different level with highly sensitive people. Learn ways to be loving and supportive to your partner and their needs with sex, bedtime, and alone time.
I’ve often wondered if I am some kind of freak.
I hated my job as a nurse for the smallest of reasons — the smell in the elevator before my shift would start, the physical exhaustion that would overtake me after 12 hours on my feet, the lack of any kind of privacy in the onslaught of the artificial, fluorescent lighting that buzzed even at 3 o’clock in the morning.
What’s more … any sort of violence makes me physically ill — I will never watch horror movies and I have to divert my attention even from road kill. Environment is super important to me — I prefer my house to be picked up, the lights to be dimmed, and a candle lit before I sit down to work, and wearing the wrong type of clothes can ruin my whole day.
In my marriage, I am often frustrated when my husband won’t have deep, philosophical discussions with me. I’m burning the midnight oil contemplating the meaning of life and he’s all like, “Eh, what does it matter? We’re all going to die anyways — I’m going to go watch TV.”
Turns out, there’s nothing really wrong with me and there’s nothing really wrong with him — I just might be a highly sensitive person.
I recently had the opportunity to chat with Dr. Aron, a self-professed highly sensitive person and author of The Highly Sensitive Person In Love, and her social psychologist husband Arthur, who identifies as a non-highly sensitive person, about the topic as they spent a quiet afternoon at home working on holiday cards.
According to them, about 20% of the population can be classified as “highly sensitive,” a genetic trait that affects how information is processed in the brain — and can also highly affect relationships.
Here are 8 important things I took away from the conversation:
1. Highly sensitive spouses may not know that they are highly sensitive.
One of the biggest sources of frustration for highly sensitive people, notes Dr. Aron, is that they are often times not even aware that they are highly sensitive — which can cause issues to arise, particularly in marriage. But there are clues that spouses can look for to help discern if his or her partner is highly sensitive, using the acronym DOES — Depth of Processing, Over stimulated, Empathy and Emotional Responsiveness, and Subtle Stimuli.
“A highly sensitive person thinks deeply … they think about the meaning of life more, they are the ones in the family who make sure they get their health check-ups,” Dr. Aron rattles off. “If you have children, they are the ones who run out of the room first. With husbands — they are often in their offices, for mothers, they look like they going crazy.”
2. Highly sensitive spouses need alone time.
Highly sensitive people, like introverts (although the two are not interchangeable), often have a deep need for alone time, to allow their brain ample time to process, a situation that can cause frustration among married partners. When a highly sensitive spouse feels the need for downtime, Dr. Aron suggests making one’s needs known — and being very clear about it. “You can just say, ‘I’m taking some down time, this is how long I will be gone,” she says.
And Arthur chimes in with the importance of making it clear that you are not wanting time away from your spouse — but just time away from, well, everyone. The couple also advises exploring ways to get down time together through quiet activities, such as hiking or sitting together reading.
3. Men are just as likely to be highly sensitive as women.
“As many men as women are born sensitive, but the stereotype is that women are sensitive, ‘real’ men are not,” Dr. Aron explains on her website. Arthur also points out that cultural norms influence how we view sensitive males, referencing a study that showed that in Canada, highly sensitive boys were ranked as the least popular, while in China, the most sensitive young males were also the most popular.
4. Highly sensitive people view sex differently.
“HSPs are more likely to find sex to be mysterious and powerful, to be turned on by subtle rather than explicit sexual cues, to be easily distracted or physically hurt during sex, and to find it difficult to go right back to normal life afterwards,” says Dr. Aron on her site. Keeping an open communication going in — and out — of the bedroom can help explore some of those different needs.
5. Bedtime might be a particular crisis.
In her book, Dr. Aron uses an anecdote of bedtime to illustrate the differences between a HS and non-HS spouse — she climbs into bed only to find her brain is too overly-stimulated to sleep, while her husband is quietly snoring within minutes. I found myself nodding along vigorously because that is my life. For example, my husband loves unwinding with TV before bed, but I find it way too stimulating. This always places me in the dilemma of whether to spend time with my husband before bed or take my own down time away from screens? I usually go back and forth, but more often than not, I just can’t shut down my own brain without a nice, dark room and no screens in my presence.