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Tag: Intimacy

The Intimacy of Tango

by Gina Cloudin RELATIONSHIPS

Tango conjures up images of passion, but little know that it is a microcosm of intimacy, and a practice which allows us to heal the places inside of us that fear connection.

gina cloud

Having danced her whole life, Gina discovered Argentine tango 2 years ago and it has changed her in ways she could not have imagined. Her realization that Argentine tango is also a healing practice inspired her to share the tools and benefits of this art form as a way of helping others heal the most important aspect of their lives: their relationship with themselves and the ability to connect with others. Gina will explore the profound and scientifically documented effects of Argentine tango on the nervous system and the neuroendocrine system as a path for healing body, mind and spirit, and awakening our capacity for deeper intimacy in our lives.

Gina Cloud is the creator and founder of GinaCology, a 10-tenet path for women to live fully awake, alive and empowered, from the inside out, free of media influence. She is the author of “W.O.M.A.N: A New Definition,” and a co-author in the national and international bestselling book, “The Power of Being A Woman” She is also a women’s health expert, speaker, life coach, tango dancer and the single mother of a 20-year-old daughter. She has hosted her own radio show, with more than 150-episodes, as well has being a guest expert on many radio and TV programs, including KPFK Pacifica, Playboy Radio and The Ricki Lake Show. Her passion for empowering others comes through her words and her presence. She is deeply committed to helping every human being awaken to and live through their fullest potential. www.ginacology.com

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

Sex and Meditation… Here is the Relationship

by zfortadminin Mind, Sex

Mindfulness improves your sex life. Oh, I know meditation probably doesn’t excite you in that way. On the other hand, mindfulness is about being more in your physical body, enjoying and experiencing the present moment. And that, dear readers, is what great sex is all about.

What I’ve found over the years is that people have their priorities confused. Think about it. When we engage in our phobias, our worries, our nagging self-doubts, we do so in a way that easily becomes a full-body experience. For instance, someone afraid of flying probably makes big movies in their mind about a plane crashing. We place ourselves smack dab in the middle of the terrible action until adrenaline slams through our veins, making our hearts race and our palms sweat.

Yet, when it comes to lovemaking, so many of the problems that clients complain about – erectile dysfunction, low libido, boredom, etc – occur because of an inability to stay in the body. Instead, the mind wanders and for many people the mood is lost or diminished.

There are two approaches to using mindfulness as a method of enhancing physical pleasure. First, meditate daily to discipline yourself to remain physically grounded in the here and now. This lays the groundwork and, as you probably know, offers a host of benefits. Specifically, when it comes to sex, practising mindfulness helps to unplug from emotions such as shame and embarrassment. It will help you turn off any thoughts of inadequacy which may contribute to low libido or impotence.

The second way is to remain mindfully present during the act itself. This is difficult. In a sense, it’s easier to remain conscious of a sore back during a sitting meditation practice because discomfort tends to increase. Pain forces us to pay attention, while intense pleasure is fleeting and tends to cause the mind to lose itself amid the good feelings.

Nevertheless, I hope you’ll persevere because making love mindfully also increases intimacy and is fun. Just imagine how motivated you’ll be next time your significant other says, “Honey, do you want to meditate tonight?”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

An Inner Dialogue on Sex Challenges in a New Relationship

by zfortadminin Sex

New York’s Sex Diaries series asks anonymous city dwellers to record a week in their sex lives — with comic, tragic, often sexy, and always revealing results. This week, a 30-year-old painter with a job in online marketing who’s trying to sort everything out inside. Straight, in a relationship, Crown Heights.

DAY ONE

3:15 a.m. I’ve been waking up between two and four every morning for months now, usually just to pee, but sometimes from nightmares. It’s kind of both this time. As I stumble out of bed, I try to remember anything from this dream other than merely the image of my pussy-less body: my mons pubis curved down into a Barbie crotch, but made of my skin and pubic hair. No folds, no holes.

9:00 a.m. My phone vibrates on top of a pile of printed spreadsheets. I cancel the alarm because I’ve already taken my pill, dutifully, with my sad desk breakfast.

Venlafaxine is an SNRI, which means it increases the activity of both serotonin and norepinephrine in my brain. It’s used to treat a variety of anxiety and depressive disorders as well as certain kinds of nerve pain. I take it for both issues and often wonder if it’s dulling my sensitivity at the same time. A decrease in libido, as with other antidepressants, is to be expected, but less so with venlafaxine than others, which is why my psychiatrist prescribed it.

I wouldn’t mind that much if I weren’t in the most committed relationship I’ve ever been in. One I’m always worried I’ll fuck up. It’s been one and a half years; we met on OkCupid. I like his parents, he likes mine, everything seems right. But the medication is nonnegotiable. It’s been two months, and although I don’t feel not-depressed, I feel boosted enough to prove I’ve needed it all along.

DAY TWO

12:30 p.m. Tuesday I have therapy, which means I get to leave work midday and battle through downtown traffic on my rusty old bike. Today, as with most sessions, we’re discussing boundaries. How can I explain to my partner that I’m scared of him initiating sex? That kissing is fine, but when his hands travel over my ass I start to panic? That sometimes, even though I’ve gotten naked just fine, when he goes down on me, it somehow hurts all over?

He and I have been through this before, after a triggering event that stopped all sex for us for months. From a television show, of all things. I had fallen asleep watching Netflix and half-awoke to a character being acquaintance-raped — like I was.

4:30 p.m. Coming home from work can be a thrill. These days, I’m dripping sweat from the ride home and we’re really overdoing the A/C; the sensation is a blessed shock on my skin. The dog greets me with urgent excitement, and we head right back out the door. He’s not my dog, really; he belongs to my partner, but I’m happy to do the afternoon walk — for both of them.

At home again, I lie down on the couch and the dog follows, leaning its weight on me. We trust each other, and I’m glad of it. My partner comes home, and when the dog gets up to greet him, he takes its place atop me on the couch. He kisses me sweetly, all over my face, and asks how my day was.

10:15 p.m. I’m very tired, so I shut my book and settle onto my pillow, nudging my ass up against my partner as conciliation for turning away from him. He reads for a while longer, and when he puts his book down, he rolls over to spoon me, to prod me with his erection.

“Are you trying to sex me?” I laugh a little.

“I’m always trying to sex you.”

“It’s too late, I’m so tired.” I wonder why I don’t bring up what was carefully discussed in therapy, but I’m also tired of hearing myself talk about What Was Carefully Discussed in Therapy.

DAY THREE

6:45 a.m. Nothing seems wrong with this relationship; in fact, we’ve been sleeping in later and later just to cuddle longer. We have so much physical chemistry. I never thought I’d be so comfortable with someone else’s body.

11:00 a.m. Again, it’s easy for me to think of him when he’s not here. My therapist says this is because I have the utmost control when it’s just thoughts. I wish I could go home to him right now, and I pre-regret how I won’t have this desire by the end of the day.

9:45 p.m. He has a class today, and it is usually the one day I can depend on a sexless evening. I try to paint, I try to apply to some jobs, but having this freedom from sex worries just leaves me stuck thinking about how to fix this. I smoke a little weed and masturbate in the shower.

I’m thinking about a kinky friend of mine who’s told me she’s thought of sleeping with me before. I always masturbate thinking about women, no matter who I’m sleeping with in reality. I wonder if that’s not also related to control.

DAY FOUR

8:30 p.m. Thursdays I get as stoned as I can and go to yin yoga. It’s a slow bedtime stretching class, heated, in the dark, and taught by a small woman who has one of those dreamy instructor voices that usually drives me insane, feeding us meditation thoughts when I’d prefer silence, but I don’t mind it from her. I am, in fact, attracted to her in every way. She is petite, which I also never thought would be my type, with a muscular ass and tiny tits. Her face is round and happy, a glowing moon in this darkened room.

I am happy when I’m in this class, high. I sit in the warmest corner of the room and stare at myself in the mirror. The truth is, I like everything about the way I look only right now. I look very tanned, my thighs look very muscular. I look athletic. I look like I could be six feet tall, like a giantess, a thought that usually terrifies me. Another thought floats into my mind: that maybe my partner and I are it for each other. I text him: “I want to kiss you when I get home,” before turning off my phone and lying back on my mat.

The class starts child’s pose. This instructor always comes to me first: My back is very stiff, and she runs her fingers firmly from my shoulders to my hips, coaxing my body to submit to the floor. I think about touching her in the same way, think of us alone in this hot, dark room, and what sounds she would make. At the end of class, sobering up, I always wonder whether I’ve made those sounds aloud.

9:30 p.m. I ride home determined to have sex with him; I prime myself with calming thoughts about his face, his voice, reminding myself that I love him and that he is not the enemy. I feel happy about my body, stimulated and calmed from the instructor’s touch.

He’s cleaning the kitchen when I get home. I kiss him as significantly as I can and tell him to come take a shower with me. He enters after I’ve already rinsed, and runs his hands over my back. I pull him toward me and he smiles. I’m happy, too. I kneel down and put my mouth on him for the first time in months; it’s a huge relief to both of us. I twitch when I hear him breathe in deeply, my nipples get hard when he gingerly places his hand on my head. He’s so gentle with me, and I like the way his dick feels in my mouth—it doesn’t make sense why I can’t just do this more often.

“We’re wasting water,” he says. I towel off my hair and we lie down on the bed, touching each other like children, our lips meeting haltingly, until he rolls me onto my back and enters me. God, it is a relief. I won’t come, but it’s a relief.

DAY FIVE

8:00 a.m.  We’re working from home today. I think of kissing him, and so I peek at the door to the office to ask if he’s on a call, wrap my arms around him where he’s sitting. He turns and kisses me and says, “What?”

“I just wanted to kiss you, is all.”

Maybe five minutes later, I call to him from my makeshift desk to ask him a question.

“What,” he snaps back.

I don’t remember the last time I’ve ever said “I’m sorry” with such sarcasm. It instantly slayed me, the tone he used. The part of me that is historically easily rejected hasn’t learned much, and I shut down for a little while.

2:00 p.m. We get neighborhood ramen for lunch; I’m in a happy place. He tells me he’s having a bad day, he’s too busy. I ask him why, but his answers are short. He’s not much for feelings.

DAY SIX

8:00 a.m. Saturdays are wonderful in this house. The permission to sleep in means that the day half-starts in half-sleep; we’re pulling each other closer and kissing arms, backs, necks, whatever’s there to kiss. We ask each other about what we dreamt and we fall asleep again.

9:30 a.m. I make coffee and he walks the dog. We start improvising breakfast from the remainder of the week’s groceries. He puts on a record and sneaks up to hug me from behind and peck me on the neck. This is perfect, until he slides his hands up my shirt.

“I’m cooking!” I try to say as playfully as possible. I know he’s hurt: His response is similarly pained.

1:40 p.m. We’ve had a good day. He has some homework to do, and I go out to the patio to paint. This is another of my uses for marijuana. The dog comes and sits beside me, but my partner won’t. Our apartment is too small for me to have an art space, and maybe he’s internalized how badly I need time for me. I invite him to come out, but he says he doesn’t want to bother me. I smoke and smoke and hum along to Bill Evans, and I feel like this piece is really coming along.

3:15 p.m. I am in such a peaceful place. The air outside is still and hot, the sounds of the neighborhood are happy, the dog nudges my free hand every so often for a head pat. I think to myself how happy I am here, to have moved in with this man and his dog. I wish he were sitting beside me now, playing his guitar. I miss him, though he’s just on the other side of the door.

I go inside, where he’s lying on the couch, reading. I straddle him and kiss his face. He has two kinds of kisses: Firmness leads to nothing, but if I can make his lips soft, he’ll give in. He puts down his book and smiles at me.

“What’s up?”

“I missed you, and I thought I’d come tell you.”

We undress as much as we can without changing positions, and he’s inside me almost instantly. I ride him there, on the couch. He laughs when he comes, and so do I.

6:30 p.m. We have a lot of errands this evening, and he orders in some Thai to make up for it. I feel very close to him when we’re being domestic.

10:30 p.m. … And blissful to find I’ve fallen asleep in his arms while watching TV.

DAY SEVEN

10:00 a.m. I go to church up the block, a very austere Episcopal service, in a building made of cold gray stone. I don’t think anymore about whether how I live my life is pleasing to God or not, but I do still cry whenever I take communion.

11:30 a.m. He’s made breakfast and been to the farmers’ market while I was away. We’re both in a pretty good mood, and he tries to capitalize on it, but I have work in our community garden that I promised I’d get done today. He tries to get me to do it later. Maybe he hasn’t caught on that making me procrastinate is not what I’m into.

3:00 p.m. He came to the garden with me, and we both worked up a heavy sweat. We got a lot of work done, as we always do together, and now we’re exhausted, showered, and back to our respective places of yesterday, he reading on the couch and I painting on the front porch.

6:00 p.m. I have dinner with a friend and speak kindly about my situation. I’ve been reading Come As You Are, which this friend had recommended, but I can’t get my partner to believe it’s not a joke book. My friend and I bond over this and drink and smoke and watch some anime because we’ve exhausted our emotional reserves.

10:30 p.m. I come home intoxicated, and he’s reading in bed. I feel good enough that I’m not worried about losing sleep time, and I cuddle into him aggressively.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Play Together, Stay Together

by RJ Newellin DATING ADVICE, RELATIONSHIPS

gettyWhen kids get bored, they can easily get into trouble. That’s why “go outside and play” is one of the more common phrases parents use. For kids, play is an opportunity to get centered, learn new things, and have fun in a constructive way. But for adults, the word “play” has come to mean something entirely different.

“I don’t play games,” says the woman trying to appear drama-free. 

“I’m not a player,” says the man who wants to earn her trust. 

“Play” for grown-ups sounds like the opposite of fun. But what if I told you that play can actually save your relationship? What if “acting like a child” made your grown-up problems easier to cope with?

Playing together might be the most mature decision you’ve make all day!

Too often, long-term couples smother themselves (and each other) by falling into boring routines. We work, we go home, eat dinner and watch the news, go to sleep, repeat. There’s simply no time for anything else. So we worry we aren’t having sex enough, or talking about our feelings enough. We talk ourselves out of intimacy, and it’s exhausting.

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My favorite antidote for worry is play. Once play becomes a priority, sex and conversation might actually come easier. We all want less frustration and more intimacy. We’d all be happier with fewer wasted moments and more time together. You don’t have to wait for vacation. You can play where you are, right now.

Play is easy, it’s quick, and it’s free. There are a million ways to do it.

When you wake up in the morning, take 5 minutes for a cuddle party. Laugh at your puffy faces and messy hair. Race each other to the bathroom, and have a toothbrush karaoke party. Just be ridiculous. You might feel stupid at first, but that’s what play is: being goofy together, on purpose.

A serious relationship doesn’t actually have to be “serious” 24/7. Happiness doesn’t always appear on its own, so we play to manifest joy.

Challenge each other to do celebrity impressions in the shower. Try making something weird for breakfast. Do ten minutes of Kundalini yoga together – if you don’t know what that is, find a video on Youtube. Those breathing exercises can be pretty hilarious.

Embrace your childlike sense of humor. We may all be adults here, but none of us have to be old.

In the evening, make dinner together and pretend you’re on a cooking show. While you’re eating, ask each other to share embarrassing stories. And if you must watch something, make a game of that, too. My husband and I sometimes take turns picking Youtube videos, and it’s actually super fun! Any cool music you’ve heard, lately? How about the latest viral cat videos? Share the things that make you feel young, goofy, and alive together.

A silly game we like to play is something I call Mystery Records. You know those bins of $1 old records in thrift shops? I like to pick a few artists I’ve never heard of (cheesy matching sweaters on the album cover are definitely a plus), and then play them at home. This makes for some really random dance parties in our living room.

Feel free to create your own silly games. Maybe you could try inventing bizarre recipes using only what you have in your kitchen. Or you could assemble some ugly, dorky outfits and recreate some ‘awkward family photos’ in your dining room. Being weird together is infinitely more fun than being bored or stressed together.

Play doesn’t always require energy. Don’t feel pressure to be ‘fun’ all the time. Sometimes, we’re tired – and that’s okay.

At night, try putting your phones down and talk about things that make you happy. If you’re feeling passionate about a new project, say so! If your partner is doing a great job at work, congratulate them. Share the dumbest jokes you’ve heard all week. Talk yourselves to sleep about the things that make you smile.

Today, if you find yourselves talking in circles about whatever’s bothering you, take a pause for play. This doesn’t mean ignoring your problems; it’s just making them easier to approach later. There are a multitude of possibilities for play in the time you spend together. Trying just one of these things can lead you to even more ideas for creating joy.

When kids get bored or frustrated, we tell them to go play. Deep down, you’re just two kids in love, aren’t you? So go outside, get out of your heads, and play.

Cuddle Therapy is Most Desired By…

by Rachel Meghanin RELATIONSHIPS, Sex

We all crave some sort of physical attention. But is it possible to get this without having sex?

Personally, I’ve always desired sensual relationships more than sexual. This could be because of my asexual orientation, or simply because I’m a particularly sensitive person. I never really fantasized about sex. I’ve had sex plenty of times, sure, but it was never my preferred method of intimacy. Because of this, I don’t particularly desire anything beyond close friendships. It’s perfectly possible to have an intimate emotional relationship to someone that isn’t a significant other without it leading to sex.

Preferring Sensual Over Sexual

It takes a very rare bond to engage in sensual acts with a friend. An unnameable kind of connection that requires a very specific type of validation. In my case, I tend to crave physical touch from my friends. Instead of getting drunk and having sex with a stranger, I would get drunk and hug my friends a lot. Especially men, because of how myself and plenty of other women have been conditioned to seek male validation in every form.

I remember being with my ex-boyfriend and trying to get him to be sensual with me. He was a very aggressively sexual person, so it always had to turn into some sort of sex act. He wouldn’t be able to cuddle for too long before we ended up with our clothes off. I would try to lay my head in his lap get him to play with my hair, but he just didn’t get it. At the end of the day, I realized I wanted more of a platonic relationship with him and other men I dated, leading to my identification as asexual.

Types of Asexuality

There is a wide spectrum of asexuality, and can range from:

  • Having no desire for sex
  • Sexual attraction to someone only if you have a specific emotional connection
  • Aromantic seek physical non-sexual touch while maintaining romantic attraction
  • Desire for Cuddling and deep emotional conversations, but never a desire to kiss

The existence of sexual acts do not define a relationship, as it’s perfectly possible to have a healthy romantic connection without them.

Cuddling Therapy

There is a market for people who seek intimacy with a stranger. There are also professionals out there who make a living by cuddling people.

A website called cuddlist.com advertises “therapeutic, non-sexual cuddle session(s) with a certified professional cuddler”. However, booking a cuddler for $80 an hour might not be as effective as cuddling with someone you love, platonic or not. Platonic intimacy is still grounded in a personal attachment, so to some professional cuddling does not hold the same kind of significance.

The fact that the cuddling website specifies that it is “non-sexual” is a crucial point. In a way, this kind of service almost becomes a type of platonic prostitution, in a sense. While it may not hold the same significance as cuddling with a friend or significant other, it does demonstrate an alternative for a solution to emotional and physical desire, specifically for those who don’t necessarily seek out sex.

Crushes

Could platonic intimacy lead to something more? Sure. In my experience, romantic crushes can easily develop without any sort of sexual connotation as a result of this kind of intimacy. I’ve always been the type to meet someone and become their friend before becoming romantically attracted to them, as the idea of dating someone for the purpose of getting into a relationship scares me. My desire for the person grows, wanting them close to me physically without even realizing that I’m developing a crush on them. It’s hard to explain how such a thing happens, and as an asexual person it can be hard to distinguish a crush from a desire to love in a platonic way.

Kissing Just to Kiss

In the case of more sexually driven people, however, it can be very common for platonic cuddling to turn into something more. Many people are able to jump from nonsexual intimacy to sex very quickly. I remember trying to explain to someone that I desired to make out with a guy I knew, to which that person replied that maybe I scared him off by wanting to sleep with him. I realized that the mindset that many sexual people have is that kissing leads directly to sex, and in many cases it’s true, but the idea of not going beyond first base is much more desireable to others.

So is it possible to cuddle with a friend or loved one and not have it turn to sex? Absolutely. It honestly depends on the level of the person’s sex drive, and how they identify themselves. For many people including myself, it’s the primary way of demonstrating affection, and can lead to a very special strong emotional bond.

The act of kissing or cuddling with a close friend can be more than enough for some.

T&A In Bed With Lahna Turner, Comedian of The Perfect 10 podcast

by T A Talk Sexin LOVE

Lahna Turner, comedian, musician, and podcaster of The Perfect 10, opens up with our playful questions – thx for being so honest, Lahna!

t&a in bed with Lahna Turner

On our podcast with Lahna: EP 114! In homage to the fall and the change of season, we’re talking all about endings and new beginnings, with comedien Lahna Turner. ‘A’ shares her relationship revelations from a session with a psychic that changed her romantic life, then Lahna gets candid and raw about currently going through a divorce and we get the full story of how ‘Limeade’, her new comedic, visual album from the title parady of Beyonce’s ‘Lemonade’ came into being. Plus, a lively debate over how to handle the death of intimacy after children enter the picture with a real-life mom, and then we cap it off with ‘New Dick’, Lahna’s HILARIOUS new song from Limeade.
Listen here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tatalksex/podcast

Know Your Body Intimately

by Gina Cloudin Body, Sex, Wellness

GinaCology Principle No. 2 is that women (and men, too really!) should be intimate with their bodies, both from a health perspective and a sexual one.

Your health is YOUR responsibility and without an intimate relationship with your body, all aspects of your life become problematic; mentally, emotionally, spiritually and definitely physically.  Becoming aware of how aware or not aware you are of your own body is critical.

I made a video on this topic and share a lot on my philosophy about this, as well as give tips on how to approach and accomplish living connected to your body this way.  It’s part one, covering the health aspect. I’ll be sharing the second video on the sexuality aspect soon.

If you’re new to my work, please VISIT MY WEBSITE and join my mailing list to stay up to date with what I’m up to.  And please spend time on my blog, as I have many great topics I’ve written on that will really enrich your life!

And ladies, when you join my mailing list, you’ll receive a free body inventory assessment of 60+ questions to help you get more attuned with your body around this topic.

Much love,

Gina Cloud

Please Do This One Thing After Sex

by zfortadminin Sex, SEX TIPS

How spooning can make or break your relationship

Attention all little spoons: New research shows that your love for cuddling might be the best thing to ever happen to your bond. Couples who spend more time showing affection after sex feel more satisfied with their sex lives, and in turn, with their relationship in general, according to a recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Researchers at universities in Toronto conducted two studies. In the first study, 335 participants (138 men and 197 women, all of whom were in romantic relationships and 90 percent of whom were heterosexual), completed an online survey about relationship and sexual satisfaction, their sex lives, and affection. Surprisingly, sex duration and foreplay didn’t predict relationship satisfaction, but post-coital cuddling did. (Big, little, and all spoons rejoice!) Researchers found that people who spend more time on post-sex affection—like cuddling, kissing, caressing, spooning, or expressing their love for each other—are more satisfied in their relationships and feel more sexually satisfied. This is especially true for couples with kids. While women’s relationship happiness depends more heavily on cuddling and canoodling than men’s, researchers also found that post-sex affection indirectly affects men’s happiness—it increases their sexual satisfaction, which in turn increases their relationship satisfaction.

For the second study, 101 couples (94 percent of which were heterosexual) answered questions about their sex lives, post-sex affection, and satisfaction with sex and their relationship every day for three weeks. Researchers found that on days when couples spent more time showing post-sex affection, they were also more sexually satisfied and more satisfied with their relationship than usual. Plus, those who felt these benefits during the three-week study were more likely to be happy with their sex lives and relationships three months down the line.

Of course, this may seem a little obvious—wouldn’t a couple who was head-over-heels for each other be more likely to cuddle after doing the deed anyway? But even though the effects could go both ways, the strongest effects were from after-sex affection to satisfaction, says study coauthor Amy Muise, Ph.D., postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto. This might have to do with the fact that cuddling is a positive post-sex reward; since it makes us feel good, we’re more likely to want to do it again, and we get closer to each other in the process. Plus, the power of touch can have major mental and physical benefits. While they can’t prove a cause-and-effect relationship, Muise notes, “I think couples should be aware that the period after sex could be particularly important for bonding and that, if possible, spending more time being affectionate after sex could enhance feelings of sexual and relationship satisfaction.” So we officially give you permission to cuddle a little bit longer tonight—for your relationship’s sake!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

5 Ways You Can Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

What comes to mind when you think about surviving a long-distance relationship?

Do you experience negative or positive emotions? Whether you have been in a long-distance relationship for a while, or recently started a long-distance relationship, it’s important for the both of you to be on the same page.

Being in a long-distance relationship is a challenge, but definitely worthwhile if you are committed to developing your relationship. A long-distance relationship can either bring the two of you closer together, or pull you further apart. I want to share with you the top 5 precedents that my husband and I used while we were in a long-distance relationship. I highly suggest that you share this article with your partner. There will be a “Take Action” exercise at the end of each precedent that I encourage the both of you to implement. This article is not really about just “surviving” a long-distance relationship, it’s about developing and growing your long-distance relationship.

Precedent #1: Be Committed

When you are in a long-distance relationship, it’s important for the both of you to know that you are equally committed to developing the relationship. Why bother being in a long-distance relationship when one or both of you are not committed? You might as well just have it be a fling and then find someone locally. So, the first precedent to surviving a long-distance relationship is to both be committed to maintaining and developing your relationship.

Take Action:

Spend some quality time talking with your partner about the commitment that you have in the relationship. It’s important that the both of you are on the same page when it comes to investing your time and energy into it. It’s all about effective communication and knowing that you are just as committed as your partner. Simply ask your partner, “Are you committed to developing our relationship?” The sooner you’re able to be on the same page, the sooner you’ll know if this relationship is worth your time and energy. Wouldn’t you rather know where your partner is at now instead of investing so much and possibly finding out later that they’re not as committed as you thought? Be open and make sure that you’re on the same page when it comes to the level of commitment in the relationship.

Precedent #2: Write it down

Surviving a long-distance relationship is definitely a challenge, but when you know what your partner plans on doing in developing your relationship, you will feel much more secure. It’s important for you and your partner to write down on a piece of paper the commitments that both of you plan on living out every single day in developing your relationship. My husband and I did this while we were in a long-distance relationship and eventually used these commitments for our vows on our wedding day. I’m not saying write down your future wedding vows, I’m sharing this with you because I want you to know the power of writing down your commitments to each other.

Take Action:

Use whatever kind of communication that the two of you have and take the time to write down your commitments to each other. I would suggest using either Skype or FaceTime when doing this exercise. It would be best to actually see your partner. Start off by writing, “My commitment to (your partner’s name)…” Then start writing down the commitments that you plan on following through with every single day. Some examples may be sending your partner a text message during your lunch break or calling your partner after you get home from work. You decide the commitments you plan on doing for your partner. Take some time to write down the commitments that you have for your partner and vice versa. Once you’ve finished writing them down, say them out loud to your partner. Once you’ve shared your commitments, make a copy of them and send the original to your partner and have them send their original to you. This way, your partner will have your commitments to them, and you will have their commitments to you. Have these commitments in a place where you see them daily. This will really help in staying connected with your partner.

Precedent #3: Take the time to visit

You may have a busy schedule with work, but when you are committed to developing your relationship, you will take the time to visit your partner. You may have to do some planning around your schedule, but when you make the effort to visit, your partner not only feels important but you are able to physically spend quality time together to develop your connection. And when you do visit your partner, make sure it’s quality time. It’s all about planning. When you visit your partner, spend time focusing on loving them. If you can help it, don’t be on any business phone calls or dealing with work while you’re there. The secret to taking the time to visit your partner is to spend 100% quality time with them.

Take Action:

Take a look at your schedule and plan on visiting your partner. Depending upon the distance, you may have to save up some money before visiting. But when you’re able to plan ahead and save as much money as you need, you’re showing your partner that you care and that you want to develop the relationship. When you continue to make excuses and don’t take the time to visit your partner, that’s a clear indication that you’re not committed to developing your relationship. You may want to add how many times you want to visit in your commitments to your partner.

Precedent #4: Think long-term

This goes back to precedent #1 of being committed. With commitment, you will need to also think long-term. Where do you see this relationship going in the long run? You will need to take some time to reflect on why you’re in this relationship? Some of us end up being in a relationship because we’re lonely or just want to say that we’re with someone. Make sure you are in your relationship for the right reasons.

Take Action:

What does the future look like with your current relationship? Do you see yourself being with this person for the long run? If you’re unsure, why? What are the key issues that need to be discussed with your partner? I want you to take the time to communicate these questions with your partner. Remember how I’ve shared with your the importance of being on the same page? Well, it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to long-term commitment. If you or your partner are experiencing certain issues like lack of trust or jealousy, it’s important for you to have an open discussion about these issues. If you feel stuck, I would suggest that the both of you seek counseling. It’s always helpful when you can have a third person who can look at your relationship without any attachments or emotions involved.

Precedent # 5: Be Real

When it comes to surviving a long-distance relationship and growing the connection with your partner, you need to always be real. It’s important to know who you are and express the real essence of you to your partner. We all know that during the beginning stages of dating, we experience that “Cloud Nine” feeling where we see our partner as being perfect. But we all have imperfections and eventually these will come out. There is nothing wrong with having imperfections, we’re only human. Make sure that you share with your partner all aspects of you, not just the good ones. Don’t play any games! This is a big NO-NO when it comes to being in a relationship. Being real and not playing any games will help you and your partner truly get to know each other. How can you possibly get to know your partner when they are playing games and not being their real selves?

Take Action:

Take some time to reflect upon who you are. Are you staying true to yourself? Are you expressing the real you or are you playing games and putting up a façade just so your partner likes you? It’s important for you to ask these questions because this is an important aspect of building the foundation in your relationship.

These are the top precedents that my husband and I set in our relationship from the very beginning and still use today. When you’re able to set good precedents in your relationship, you are building a solid foundation. When you don’t have any precedents in your relationship, the foundation is weak and will fall apart. Surviving a long-distance relationship is all about creating and maintaining a solid foundation!

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

What Men Find Sexy About You That You Would Never Guess

by zfortadminin LOVE, Sex

If you’re sure your man is turned off by your trackie bottoms or make-up-free-face, think again.

No Make-up

Apparently women spend more than #180,000 in a lifetime on beauty products, but Relate counsellor Mo Kurimbokus says we don’t need to. “When a woman doesn’t wear make-up, her natural beauty is on display. “Also, some men find it a huge turn-off to kiss a woman and find that they are smeared with lipstick. Make-up can sometimes act as a barrier rather than a come-on.”

Rounded stomachs

We’ve all craved abs like Geri Halliwell’s but men actually find a potbelly attractive. Mo says: “Men like women to feel soft and curvy, so a little potbelly can be a turn-on and give a woman that natural look. “If she’s not ‘perfect’, then he doesn’t feel he has to be either.”

Wrinkles

“Wrinkles bother women more than they do men, as they feel it often spells a loss of youth,” Mo says. “Wrinkles can spell experience, which can trigger thoughts of them having great sex together – a huge turn-on for him.”

Stretch Marks

Those silvery lines are the bane of most women’s lives but some men actually like them! Mo explains: “What really does it for a man is a woman who is natural. “Stretch marks remind a man of the child they created together and her commitment to him. It is also an intimate detail of a woman’s body that only he is privy to.”

Phoning Him When You’re Drunk

After a night out with the girls, a phone call to confess how much you miss him seems like a good idea at the time. But Simon Moore, Academic Leader in Psychology at London Metropolitan University, says: “Letting people know how you feel is both reassuring and attractive. We all like compliments.”

Drinking Pints

Gone are the days when your man orders a pint, with “a half for the lady”. Simon says: “Drinking what you want and not caring what people think show that you are confident with yourself and the choices you make in life.”

Small Boobs

It’s not all about glamour models for some men. Simon says: “Small breasts are usually pert and this is an indication of youth and physical health. Men are more wired to seek signs of youth and vitality, indicators that she could bear children.”

Mismatching Underwear

Most women save the lacy stuff for special occasions and opt for comfort. Relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall explains: “Men love catching you in mismatching underwear because it looks like you weren’t planning on having sex, but they’ve managed to persuade you.”

Smudged Make-up

This is something that happens when we forget to take our make-up off after a night out. Surprisingly, as Paula explains: “Men find this sexy because you look like you’ve just made love. It reminds them of how great the afterglow of sex feels.”

Walking Home From a Club in Bare Feet

Heels look fabulous, but won’t feel it after dancing. Psychologist Ingrid Collins says: “Bare feet have a hint of nudity. Walking barefoot suggests naturalness and a rebel against convention, and can clue a man in to fantasies of wildness.”

Grown-out Highlights

The upkeep on highlights can be huge, but maybe you shouldn’t bother. Paula explains: “Like women, men also like a bit of rough. The unkempt roots probably remind him of the girls his mum said he should avoid – which makes them doubly attractive.”

Getting the Punchline of a Joke Wrong

We’ve all been there, sitting in the pub, everyone listening intently as you run through the latest joke you heard at the office – until you forget the ending. Mo says: “Men can be intimidated by intellectual women, so getting it wrong makes her far less intimidating and they can relax in her company. It shows vulnerability and triggers his protective instinct.”

Women Who Are Good with Kids

If you reckon your man is rolling his eyes as you play with nieces and nephews, think again. Mo explains: “It gives him visual evidence that she is patient and caring, and reminds him of his mother’s unconditional love.”

Wearing Tracksuit Bottoms and a Baggy Shirt to Bed

When we pass a certain point in our relationship, going to bed in saucy nightwear is replaced with a need for comfort. Ingrid says: “Very casual clothes suggest the woman is relaxed and confident about herself, and a man can find this very sexy.”

Muffin Top

You might think skinny jeans are impossible to wear without getting that tell-tale roll of flab over the waistband. But, according to Paula, men think a little muffin top is cute.

“The curvy shape is synonymous with fertility so the soft fleshiness is tapping directly into his unconscious evolutionary desires.”

WHAT THE GUYS SAY

Christopher Nelson, 28, a claims adjuster from Wales, says: “I think it’s really sexy when a girl is good at banter and can give back as good as she gets.”

Andrew Widdowson, 27, a plasterer from Sheffield, says: “Bed hair is so sexy. My girlfriend looks great with it, and it reminds me of the amazing night we had before!”

Andrew Wellwood, 29, a salesman from Yorkshire, says: “I love those dimples on a girl’s back just above her bum. When they lean over and I can see them, it conjures up saucy images in my head.”

Mark Spence, 30, a writer from Belfast, says: “I think the sexiest part of my girl’s body is her neck, it looks really stroke-able. There’s nothing nicer or sweeter than nuzzling into your girlfriend’s neck.”

James Village, 27, a businessman from Manchester, says: “Girls who play with the hair at the back of their head are a real turn-on. It reveals their neck, which is a really sexy place on a woman.”

Gareth Carter, 35, an IT specialist from Preston, says: “I’m into racing and love the way my girlfriend comes with me, though she’s not interested. And all without moaning – unlike me when I go shopping with her.”

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

Can’t You Just Apologize? The Power of Owning Up

by zfortadminin RELATIONSHIPS

“Sincere apologies are for those that make them, not for those to whom they are made.” ~ Greg LeMond

When I was growing up, every time I took my sister’s toy or called my brother names, my mother would grab me by the wrist and demanded that I offer an apology. What’s more, if the apology didn’t sound meaningful enough to her, I had to repeat it until my tone was genuine. An apology was the basic reaction to any mistake.

Now that I’m older, I see apologizing as more than just a household rule. My younger self didn’t understand the complexities of human pride and self-righteousness, but my older self does.

Now, I see family members refusing to talk to each other for years after an argument just because neither side wants to be the first to let go of their pride and “break down and apologize.” But who decided apologizing was a sign of weakness?

I think we’ve reached a day and age where showing emotional vulnerability can be viewed as a positive rather than a negative quality.

People are becoming more aware of ideas like empathy and sensitivity, and everywhere we are being encouraged to talk about our feelings, to seek help, and to connect with others. Gone are the days of keeping everything bottled up inside to suffer alone.

As we move forward in this time of self-knowledge and self-discovery, it’s vital to acquire the ability to recognize our own mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and we all will do something to hurt another person at some point in our lives. The difference, however, lies acknowledging that we have done something wrong.

This was hard for me to grasp, because I was taught that an apology should be an automatic response.

It took me a long time to realize what it meant to say “I’m sorry” from the heart. Apologizing just for the sake of apologizing is meaningless. We cannot genuinely apologize if we can’t admit to ourselves that we made a mistake.

This is where humility comes in. Can we look at ourselves in the mirror and say that it was at least partly our fault? Can we take that responsibility?

Placing the blame on someone else is easy. Making excuses and skirting the subject is easy. Assuming the full weight of blame on our own shoulders, however, is very hard.

I learned this the hard way with a childhood friend of mine. As we grew older, we started becoming more competitive in the things we did together, and eventually the playful competition went a little too far.

It became a game of silently trying to prove who was better, and we ended up hurting each other over our pride.

We refused to apologize or even address what was going on because neither wanted to be the one to “give in.”

The tension kept growing, breaking apart our friendship. I wish I could go back now, because if I had taken responsibility for the mistakes I made, we probably could have resolved it easily and saved our friendship.

Instead, I let my pride take priority over my relationships with the people around me.

Learning to apologize is the first and most important step in the healing process. Not only does it show the recipient that you acknowledge their right to feel hurt, but it opens the way to forgiveness.

It seems so silly, really. I mean, it’s only two tiny words. How can something so small be so powerful?

Well, there have been various scientific studies on the power of apologizing, which have demonstrated that when the victim receives an apology from his offender, he develops empathy toward that person, which later develops more quickly into forgiveness.

This is due to the fact that when we receive an apology, we feel that our offender recognizes our pain and is willing to help us heal.

Timing is an important aspect to keep in mind, as well, because sometimes the other person might not be ready to accept your apology. Sometimes we need to allow time to heal the wounds a little bit before we come forward to say “I’m sorry.”

An apology cannot undo what has been done, but it can help ease the pain and tension of the aftermath. It gives hope for rebuilding, and puts value on the relationship rather than the individual’s pride.

Sometimes people don’t even realize the hurt they are creating around them by failing to take responsibility for their actions. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s someone you know, but everyone knows someone who has suffered from this at some time.

Now is the time to make a change.

Often times those two simple words are worth more than a lifetime of excuses and explanations.

Choose the path of humility. Choose the path of healing. Choose love above pride. Choose to apologize.

Curated by Erbe
Original Article

The Strange Romances of “Dancing With the Stars”

by Kelley Lynnin RELATIONSHIPS

In the world of television and reality-TV, it is expected that one would find many examples of contestants finding romance or chemistry whilst in the midst of filming.

After all, shows such as “The Bachelor” are created so that people can find love. But what about a show like the very popular hit: “Dancing With the Stars”? As season 24 is set to begin on Monday, I thought it might be fun to take a look at the possibilities for matchmaking that exist in this season’s new cast. This “chemistry between dance partners” thing has happened on multiple occasions throughout the show’s run, so either there is something in the air on that dance floor, or host Tom Bergeron is secretly matching people together behind the scenes with his witty charm.

In past seasons, there was the pairing of pro dancers Emma Slater and Sasha Farber, who announced their engagement on the show live in 2016. Mario Lopez and pro dancer Karina Smirnoff had an immediate attraction during their 2006 pairing on the show. When their romance fizzled just months later, it was rumored that Lopez had been cheating. Very soon after, Smirnoff then ended up dating fellow pro-dancer Maksim Chmerkovsky, and the two got engaged. Then, the two split, just a few months later, calling off their engagement.

Are you confused yet? I am. Actress Shannon Elizabeth fell hard for pro-dance partner Derek Hough, and the two were an item in 2009 for more than a year. And then they weren’t. One of the most obvious attractions I can recall on the show happened between Maksim and Meryl Davis, during season 18. The two never admitted to a romance, but the sparks were hot and heavy from the start, and the judges commented on their sexual tension almost every week. (To be fair, Judge Bruno Tonioli could find sexual tension in a chunk of plywood). And in another twist, that Maksim sure gets around! He was also rumored to be dating dance partner (and winner) Erin Andrews, who later became co-host of the show. NOW are you confused? Because I still am.

Basically, everybody dates everybody, because the Rumba is kind of hot, and when you are rehearsing sexy moves together for ten hours a day over a few month period, things tend to get a little bit touchy-feely. Unless you are Judge Len Goodman. Then you just drink some prune juice and take a nap. Sometimes in the middle of the show.

In any case, will romance be in the cards for any of these pairings? Here is a look forward at the upcoming cast, and some entertaining romances that would be fun, or just plain weird, to see, starting this Monday …..

BONNER BOLTON is the world’s former Number One Bull-Rider, and will be paired up with pro-dancer Sharna Burgess. But how hilarious would it be to see him in a budding romance with off the charts, crazy, always seemingly horny Judge Carrie Ann Anaba? The season hasn’t even begun yet, but I guarantee it will be filled with endless innuendos from Anaba about Bolton “riding it” or “getting on top of that bull”. She really enjoys saying things such as that, and having her own little fantasies about the male contestants while she sits behind that judges table.

CHARO is on the show this season (with pro-dancer Keo Motsepe), and really, this needs no further explanation other to be hilarious, because it’s Charo. She has one name. She is actually listed that way on the cast list. No last name. You may remember her dancing from “The Love Boat”, or from other TV shows she appeared in over the decades. She is a pop culture icon who dances, sings, and is just generally entertaining, and she has GOT to be in her 70’s or older by now. Perhaps her and Judge Len Goodman should pair up, since he is also older, and her charm and sparkly personality could fix up his crankiness and moodiness. Seeing them as a couple would be hilarious.

MR. T is on the show this season, as is former “Saturday Night Live” cast member Chris Kattan. Although they are not paired together as dancers, since neither of them are pros, I would pay a lot of money to see them as the new, power, gay couple of the season. Mr. T could yell at Kattan: “I pity the fool who says no to me!”, and Kattan could do one of his many wacky characters in response.

Olympic ice-skater Nancy Kerrigan is dancing this season, which begs the question, where the hell is Tanya Harding? If Harding was on the show and didn’t win the Mirror Ball Trophy, I would hate to see what kind of action she would take in protest. Not pretty.

Nick Viall just finished his run as “The Bachelor” this week, and he got engaged to Vanessa Grimaldi. Starting Monday, he will be paired up with pro-dancer Peta Mergatroyd, and history has shown from past seasons, that this is NOT the best way to begin your engagement – by spending 10 to 15 hours a day dancing all sweaty-like with another beautiful woman. Let’s see if Nick and Vanessa can survive the jealousy of the Tango or the Salsa, or will Nick succumb to the gorgeous Peta, and leave Vanessa in the dust?

Perhaps Bergeron and Andrews can up their co-host game and start flirting with one another. Or maybe the two male judges can take turns dating Carrie Ann, the female judge. Or perhaps Mr. T and Charo will have a little fling, and then Maksim Chmerkovsky will break them up so he can have Charo all to himself, because apparently he dates every single dancer on the show. The possibilities are endless, and quite humorous. I can’t wait to see what surprising couples emerge out of this upcoming season, and the many ways that love (or lust) spring to life. To see what happens, tune in this Monday, March 20th, on ABC.

Facebook Can Tell When You’re In a Relationship

by Sarah Ewaldin RELATIONSHIPS

One thing Facebook can tell… is when a user starts a relationship.

Facebook Relationship Status interface (Daily Mail UK)

Facebook Relationship Status interface (Daily Mail UK)

It’s no secret that Facebook knows everything about its users at this point. The social network knows your favorite movies and TV shows, where you’ve worked, and what you read. Of course, this is all information users manually input. But Facebook can also glean information from a user’s patterns of how they use the site. One thing Facebook can tell from this is when a user starts a relationship.

In 2014, Facebook’s data scientists noticed something interesting: When a couple enters the courtship period, timeline posts increase (presumably both for interaction purposes, and so the other party can see how awesome/funny/interesting, etc. the first person is).

For the visual learners, here’s a chart to illustrate this:

Facebook activity as it relates to relationship status (The Atlantic/Facebook)

Facebook activity as it relates to relationship status (The Atlantic/Facebook)

Once two people are firmly “in a relationship” (as defined by posting an anniversary date), the number of posts decrease, but the tone of said posts becomes happier overall. This probably points to the fact that the couple are spending more time together in person and have no need to post on each other’s walls.

Here’s what that looks like:

Facebook activity in terms of relationship status and positive emotions (The Atlantic/Facebook)

Facebook activity in terms of relationship status and positive emotions (The Atlantic/Facebook)

According to Facebook Data Scientist Carlos Diuk, here’s how the data science behind the study breaks down:

During the 100 days before the relationship starts, we observe a slow but steady increase in the number of timeline posts shared between the future couple. When the relationship starts (“day 0”), posts begin to decrease. We observe a peak of 1.67 posts per day 12 days before the relationship begins, and a lowest point of 1.53 posts per day 85 days into the relationship. Presumably, couples decide to spend more time together, courtship is off, and online interactions give way to more interactions in the physical world.

Facebook’s parameters for this study were users who had “Single” as their relationship status 100 days before changing it to “In a Relationship,” and who were in a relationship 85 days after their posted anniversary date. Anniversary dates used were between April 11, 2010 and October 21, 2013.

In other words, Facebook can tell when you’re…Facebook official.

“Dancing With the Stars” Week 4: The Love Meter Review

by Kelley Lynnin RELATIONSHIPS

Well, it was Week Four on “Dancing With the Stars”, and the show did their signature “Most Memorable Week Ever” show, otherwise known as: “the episode where everybody has an emotional breakdown.” In this week, each of the stars chooses the year of their life that was life-changing or powerful in some way, and then tells that story through their dance. It is always a tear-jerker, and we always find out a lot that we didn’t previously know about each of the contestants. As my favorite host Tom Bergeron said at the top of the show: “It is always one of our most popular and powerful shows.” Yes, it is Tom. So, since the judges panel is already in charge of judging the dancing, we here at Love TV will once again, focus on each couple’s chemistry together, scoring them on our scientific-proven “Love Meter” scale. (I made it up) So here we go. Enjoy ….

NORMANI AND VAL: Anyone for Chinese?

They did the Rumba, and her chosen year was 2012, the year she joined the pop band 5th Harmony and her life changed. The dance was dedicated to her family, who sacrificed everything so she could live her dreams. Julianne said: “You are a powerhouse.” And Bruno yelled while flailing his arms about: “You know what I like, and you give it to me!” Wow, Bruno. Is that the kind of thing that is often said in your bedroom, when it’s just you, yourself, and your right hand? Carrie Ann went into an hour-long definition of what a lift is, because she is obsessed with taking off points if anyone’s toe comes off the floor.

Judges Scores: 8/7/8/9

Love Meter Score: Giving them a chemistry rating of CHINESE FOOD. They are pleasant enough and fun enough to watch, and it tastes good going down, but after awhile, I have forgotten all about them and I’m hungry again.

NICK AND PETA: Hot! Hot!

His most memorable year was 2016, because he met his now fiance Vanessa on “The Bachelor”, and because she would kick his ass on national tv if he had said any other year but that one. Their dance recreated the experience of dating lots of women at once, and then finding love. It was seductive, it was danced to “The Shape of You” so it was more sexual than loving, and it ended by Nick grabbing Vanessa from the audience, lifting up her dress and making out with her a bit too long. Bergeron was trying to move things along before the two went any further, and comedy ensued. Bruno said of shirtless Nick: “Something new is stirring inside you tonight!” (Eww!) Len joked: “Now that I’ve seen you with your shirt off, I see that we have got so much in common.”

Judges Scores: 8/7/8/7

Love Meter Score: Well who cares about Peta and Nick this week – the real chemistry score belongs to Nick and his fiance Vanessa, who practically stripped each other naked on the dance floor and went into full x-rated mode. I’m giving these two a score of TOO SEXY LEVEL HOT!!!

NANCY AND ARTEM:  Easy Like Sunday Morning

In this case, the couple’s Foxtrot represented not one year, but an 8 year period in Kerrigan’s life, where she suffered 6 miscarriages. Hearing her talk about it in rehearsal footage was heartbreaking, as she described “feeling like a failure, and shameful.” Eventually, her and her husband went through IVF treatments, and were able to have 2 additional children to add on to the one they had naturally at the start. The dance was soft and lovely, and the judges were moved to tears. Len said that Nancy had “moved from the pack, into a front-runner. Well done!”

Judges Scores: 8/9/8/8

Love Meter Score: I’m giving them a score of LIONEL RICHIE, i.e. “Easy like Sunday morning….”

T AND KYM: Hallelujah!

They did the Waltz, and the year he chose was 1995, when he was diagnosed with a rare cancer. After going through radiation and then chemo, it returned and he needed more treatment. He found his faith that year, and he says that it saved his life. They danced to “Amazing Grace” to give thanks to the miracle of being alive. Carrie Ann said: “Your faith radiated into that dance.” Julianne said: “Your story was so evident on that dance floor.”

Judges Scores: 7/7/7/7

Love Meter Score: Between him and Kym, they are lovely friends indeed. But between him and God? Ill give that score a HALLELUJAH AND AMEN!!!!

HEATHER AND ALAN AND MAKS: The Magic of Three

Yup, the weird threesome continues, as Maks is still unable to dance due to his injury in Week One, so he watches awkwardly from the sideline and cheers his partner on. They did the ChaCha, and the year chosen as 2015, when she married her husband Taylor. They met on MySpace, and Bergeron joked: “The most amazing part of your story is it’s the first time in a decade I’ve heard anyone mention MySpace!” She is a fantastic dancer, but I’m not here to talk about that. The weird part is that she seems to have much better chemistry with Alan, than with Maks. Her and Maks seem blah. Her and Alan are smoother. So what will happen once Maks returns to dance? Who knows. Should be some good drama. Bruno asked the pair: “Can I marry you both?” This threesome just got more interesting.

Judges Scores: 8/9/9/9

Love Meter Score: I’m giving this wacky trio a rating of THREE’S COMPANY. Let the hijinks begin.

DAVID AND LINDSAY: Contagious!

They had the Waltz, and his year was 2016, his last year playing with the Cubs, caught a no-hitter, and they won the World Series. He retired to be a full time dad, and said: “I got to live my dream, my job now is to be a good dad, so they can live their dreams.” His personality rocks. I love watching him. Julianne said: “Your spirit and energy are so infectious.”

Judges Scores: 7/8/8/8

Love Meter Score: Im giving their chemistry a score of THE FLU!!! Highly contagious, and easy to catch.

RASHAD AND EMMA: Emotion

This one was super emotional, and for me, the dance of the night. When Rashad was a child, his dad wasn’t home a lot, because he thought his job was to provide , so he worked hard. Years later, when Rashad was in the NFL, his mom called him in 2006, to tell him his dad had a stroke, and his leg would be amputated. Rashad gave up the big contract to play close to home instead and be with his dad. Everyone thought he was nuts, but him and his dad grew closer and now have this beautiful relationship. At the end of their dance, he ran over to his dad, who is now in a wheelchair and was in the audience, and they both cried as they hugged each other. Julianne called it “motion = emotion. No words.” Highest scores of the season, and everyone on earth was crying.

Judge Scores: 10/9/10/10

Love Meter Score: I’m gonna go with that old classic sketch on “Saturday Night Live” from years ago that Mike Myers used to do: IT WAS LIKE BUTTAH!!!!

ERIKA AND GLEB:  UHHHHHH!?

Her story was definitely lacking the emotion that the others had. She chose 1989, because that is the year she moved to NYC and became a real adult. The dance seemed weird, because they used Madonna’s “Express Yourself”, and she seemed like she was trying to BE Madonna. So it seemed more like a weird, out of sync Madonna tribute than having anything to do with her own life. Also, Gleb’s creepy skinny moustache looks like a 70’s porn star. Len said: “It’s a bit same ole, same ole, like my bladder.” Okay, I made that last part up. But the dance was weird.

Judges Scores: 8/7/7/8

Love Meter Score: That was ALL KINDS OF AWKWARD!

BONNER AND SHARNA: Secret Lovers

They did a Foxtrot, and the year was 2016, when he became paralyzed after falling on his head off the bull. It was months of rehab, and hi career was over. “You work so hard for something, and it’s just gone”, he said. Their dance showed this struggle and his climb back up into miraculously being able to dance today. Bruno flirted: “Someone is the new leading man in town!” Bonner seems uncomfortable everytime Bruno speaks, which is hilarious.

Judges Scores: 8/8/8/8

Love Meter Score: Between him and Sharna, I’m going with SECRET LOVERS, because they still seem to have a special connection. Between Bonner and Bruno, I’m going with a reading of THREAT LEVEL: STALKER!

SIMONE AND SASHA: Adorable

They Waltzed, and the year was 2008, which was when she was adopted by her grandparents, who told her to call them mom and dad. Her bio mom was not well, had an addiction, was in and out of jail, and Simone ended up in Foster Home until her grandpa said “I’ll take her.” At the end of the dance, she hugged her parents as they all cried. Len called it her best dance yet.

Judges Scores: 9/9/9/9

Love Meter Score: They are adorable, and their chemistry seems to grow, like EASTER FLOWERS, blooming and fresh.

GOING HOME:

Mr. T went home, unfortunately, but even HE knew he wasn’t any good. “I know I couldn’t dance, but I tried”, he said to Erin Andrews at the end of the show. He is a total sweetheart, and not a good dancer. Stay tuned next week for DISNEY WEEK, when the gang dances to Disney classics, Len takes a well-earned nap, and Bonner gets a restraining order against Bruno.

Rock Your Love and Bedroom Life Using Crystals

by Jo Millerin Sex

What Crystals Would You Use?

More than just pretty stones, crystals have been used for thousands of years for their mystical and powerful healing properties, and are commonly used in alchemic healing remedies, meditation, manifesting, and as sacred tools to support our daily lives. Personally, I find them utterly mesmerizing, and have been using them in my every day life and with my clients, as part of my intuitive coaching practice with truly magical results for many years.

High Vibe Crystals

Specific crystals work with different areas of our bodies, helping to promote a healthy flow of energy.  Each stone carries its own unique vibration that can identify, awaken, and elevate those cells in our bodies that are vibrating lower than they should, correcting any imbalances and harmonizing our physical, emotional and spiritual bodies.

More and more, these high vibe gems are finding their way into our self-love practices and the bedroom, as more and more individuals and couples seek to bring an elevated level of consciousness and intention to take their intimacy and sexual mojo to the next level.

Whatever kind of love you’re trying to attract, be it romantic, spiritual or friendship, you must first truly love yourself before you can fully accept or give love to others.

Rose Quartz- Gateway to Love

The beloved Rose Quartz crystal is a universal Heart Chakra healer, and the gateway stone to loving on all levels; self love, romantic partnership, friends, family, and universal relationships. To ground your life in loving energy, wear some Rose Quartz jewelry, sleep with it under your pillow, or tuck a piece into your pocket or even bra as a constant reminder that love is always close by.

Rhodochrosite-Healing Your Heart

This pretty pink stone helps to heal a broken heart and alleviates past hurts by gently cleansing, soothing, and repairing the energy field around our heart. When taken outside on a sunny day, it can absorb the beauty and magic of nature, allowing a sense of compassionate grace and softness to re-enter our lives.

For a beautiful healing self-love meditation, sit quietly with eyes closed and focus on your heart area. Envision a soft green light (the color associated with our Heart Chakra) emanating from the center of your being, and as you exhale, radiate love from your heart through your body in all directions and out into the Universe. As you inhale, visualize that green love light returning to you from all corners of the Universe, a million-fold, filling you up with pure love and light.

Red Garnet- Ignites Romance

Mediating with Red Garnet inspires and ignites love and romance. Use this powerful root chakra crystal when setting your intention to invite an ideal romantic partner into your life.

Clear Quartz –Manifesting Love

This is a manifesting must-have stone. Considered the master healer when used by itself, or as a broadcaster when partnered with other crystals. It cleanses your energetic aura and helps you connect to the best version of you. Clear Quartz is also ideal for using in crystal grids for it’s ability to broadcast the frequency of what you’re consciously creating.

Creating a Crystal Love Grid

To make a “Love Grid” place a Rose Quartz crystal (representing Love) at the center and place smaller pieces of Clear Quartz crystal points around it, arranging them in the shape of an infinity symbol (representing infinite lasting Love).  This grid can be set up and left in place for as long as you desire (cleansing crystals weekly for optimal charging). Set your intention for what it is you want to attract into your life and trace an imaginary outline of the grid with your finger, beginning and ending at the Rose Quartz center.

Lapis Lazuli- Rock Your Truth

Communicating your boundaries and desires with clarity, kindness and love is key to fostering respectful, healthy relationships. Lapis Lazuli is said to carry the vibration of our inner King or Queen and can help support us in speaking clearly, truthfully and lovingly, teaching others how we wish to be treated. Remember too, that communication also means the ability to be a good listener. In my experience, good listeners make for most excellent lovers.

Fire Agate, Jasper, Rubies- Get Your Mojo On!

Feeling sexually aroused is a sure sign that our positive energy is flowing freely, making sensuality and spirituality an ideal partnership for sexual intimacy. Certain crystals carry powerful aphrodisiac energy that fire up the sensual energy in our lower chakras allowing for our love to flow readily and helps partners to view their sexual relationship as a sacred bond.

Fire Agate and Red Jasper crystals are especially helpful for men in supporting the lower chakras, enhancing the libido and prolonging sexual activity. Orange Carnelian fires up the energy of the sacral chakra and helps women to restore vitality to their female sex organs (or Yoni, which is Sanskrit for Sacred Space).

Red Ruby stone carries an unsurpassable potency of empowering energy that can help both partners release inhibitions, and ignite their adventurous and playful sides.

Place these passion crystals on your nightstand, tucked under your pillow, or drop them into warm bathwater for some relaxation and sensual foreplay togetherness.

Crystal Clearing and Powerful LOVE

It’s essential to cleanse your crystals before using them and regularly as they absorb both our negative and positive energy. Running them under flowing water, smudging with sage smoke, or setting them out under the illuminating power of a full moon will all do a beautiful job of clearing and recharging your sacred love stones.

I wish you all the healing magic and delight that lies in store as you seek to attract and open your heart and life wide open to the high vibe power of LOVE.